1

00:00:00,192 --> 00:00:03,471

_

2
00:00:03,872 --> 00:00:08,223
_

3
00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,258
It's the biggest land-run ever.

4
00:00:11,259 --> 00:00:14,258
Kentucky Daisey's like,
Sha-doink, this is my land.

5
00:00:14,259 --> 00:00:17,258
Wine is a very... it... high
[bleep] up quotient.

6
00:00:17,259 --> 00:00:21,258
Gordo is like, I'm
entering Earth's atmosphere.

7
00:00:21,259 --> 00:00:24,258
[mimics shuttle]
[bleep] bravo to me!

8
00:00:24,259 --> 00:00:25,258
Wait.

9
00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:29,258
Bass Reeves arrested 3,000
men in the line of duty.

10
00:00:29,259 --> 00:00:31,258
And he's like... pew, pew, pew.

11
00:00:31,259 --> 00:00:35,299
[laughing] I love you.
I'ma kiss you on your lips.

12
00:00:35,324 --> 00:00:38,258

[patriotic music]

13
00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:46,831
<i> sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~</i>

14
00:00:48,259 --> 00:00:50,258
I grew up in the middle
of bum[bleep] Oklahoma,

15
00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:51,258
out in the Panhandle.

16
00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:52,258
We have this great history... you know,

17
00:00:52,259 --> 00:00:54,258
the Dust Bowl, and
everything really sucked.

18

00:00:54,259 --> 00:00:56,258

And they were like, we're
gonna come through this.

19
00:00:56,259 --> 00:00:58,258
Oklahoma, like, we
rose to the challenge.

20
00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:01,258
We're the melting pot
of the United States.

21
00:01:01,259 --> 00:01:03,258
We are the armpit
of the United States.

22
00:01:03,259 --> 00:01:06,258
Or the armpit.
Melting pot... armpit...

23
00:01:06,259 --> 00:01:09,258

What we really are,

is Texas' weird hat.

24
00:01:09,259 --> 00:01:11,258
- Right.
- I've heard we're Kansas with a boner.

25
00:01:11,259 --> 00:01:12,258
[laughs]
True.

26
00:01:12,259 --> 00:01:14,258
- Do you like white wine?
- Yeah...

27
00:01:14,259 --> 00:01:15,258
- You do?
- I do.

28
00:01:15,259 --> 00:01:16,979
Wow, you don't know

any guys that like it.

29
00:01:17,259 --> 00:01:18,469
- Cheers.
- Kentucky Daisey.

30
00:01:18,504 --> 00:01:20,400
- Kentucky Daisey. [giggles]
- All the way.

31
00:01:22,259 --> 00:01:26,258
Are you shooting it?
You seem experienced, fella.

32
00:01:26,259 --> 00:01:29,299
You were, like... had been a
bridesmaid at one point in your life.

33
00:01:29,324 --> 00:01:31,258
- And you had shot some wine.
- Maybe.

34
00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,339
Hello, today we're gonna
talk about Kentucky Daisey

35
00:01:33,364 --> 00:01:37,258
and the great Oklahoma
land-run. [laughs]

36
00:01:37,259 --> 00:01:38,258
[chuckles]

37
00:01:38,259 --> 00:01:43,258
- Oh no, I can't.
- You're fine.

38
00:01:43,259 --> 00:01:48,258
So, late 1870s,
Kentucky Daisey is a journalist,

39

00:01:48,259 --> 00:01:52,258

writing all... just the
fluff, garbage, women pieces.

40
00:01:52,259 --> 00:01:54,258
They're like, Here's an assignment,

41
00:01:54,259 --> 00:01:58,258
why don't you go write
about making corn pie

42
00:01:58,259 --> 00:01:59,779
or pudding... article, or whatever.
Okay?

43
00:01:59,804 --> 00:02:06,258
She's like, Pfft, I need a
little bit more meaty [bleep].

44
00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:08,258
- Can I say... I can swear, right?

- Mm-hmm.

45
00:02:08,259 --> 00:02:13,258
So, the government has this land,
it's like, 2 million acres.

46
00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:16,258
I mean, taken from the
poor Native Americans,

47
00:02:16,259 --> 00:02:21,258
and they're like, What if we
give it to some crazy pioneers?

48
00:02:21,259 --> 00:02:24,258
Let them kinda cultivate it for us,

49
00:02:24,259 --> 00:02:26,258
make some cities, et cetera.

50

00:02:26,259 --> 00:02:29,258

Let's give the white people a chance.

51
00:02:29,259 --> 00:02:33,258
It's so awful.
We took 2 million acres!

52
00:02:33,259 --> 00:02:35,258
- Wow.
- It's very sad.

53
00:02:35,259 --> 00:02:39,258
But anyways, God bless America.
[laughs]

54
00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:42,258
So, she hears about this huge land-run.

55
00:02:42,259 --> 00:02:47,258
April 22nd, noon, land-run,
160 acres for free...

56
00:02:47,259 --> 00:02:49,258
to white people.

57
00:02:49,259 --> 00:02:55,258
So, she is like, Hey, journalist, boss,
what if I went to this land-run

58
00:02:55,259 --> 00:03:00,258
and I talked about what girls are
wearing in terms of petticoats?

59
00:03:00,259 --> 00:03:03,258
But in her head is like,

60
00:03:03,259 --> 00:03:06,258
I'm gonna get a piece
of this land for me.

61
00:03:06,259 --> 00:03:07,259

So, she gets there.

62
00:03:08,259 --> 00:03:11,258
There are 50,000 people
lining the border.

63
00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:14,258
Cannon goes off at noon.

64
00:03:14,259 --> 00:03:17,258
Boom.
Everybody's acting buck wild.

65
00:03:17,259 --> 00:03:21,258
Everybody's buck. They'll
trample other people.

66
00:03:21,259 --> 00:03:23,258
Take kids down. They don't care.

67

00:03:23,259 --> 00:03:26,258

So, there's also a train that
goes into the lands as well.

68
00:03:26,259 --> 00:03:29,499
And it's filled with journalists.
Kentucky Daisey's on the train.

69
00:03:29,524 --> 00:03:31,258
She's trying to keep it cool.

70
00:03:31,259 --> 00:03:33,259
But then, it goes up this
incline so it slows down.

71
00:03:33,284 --> 00:03:36,258
Kentucky Daisey's like,
[bleep] this [bleep].

72
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:40,258
She jumps off of a moving train.

Over a ditch.

73
00:03:40,259 --> 00:03:42,259
Gets to the plot of land that she wants,

74
00:03:43,259 --> 00:03:44,258
pulls a stake out... pop!

75
00:03:44,259 --> 00:03:47,258
Claims the land.
Shoots a gun off,

76
00:03:47,259 --> 00:03:48,699
because, whatever, that's who she is.

77
00:03:48,724 --> 00:03:51,258
Thus I salute the Ken...
What?

78
00:03:51,259 --> 00:03:54,591

- What?
- The Kentucky Daisey claim.

79
00:03:54,592 --> 00:03:58,258
Thus I salute the Kentucky
Daisey claim! [mimics gunfire]

80
00:03:58,259 --> 00:03:59,258
She gets the land.

81
00:03:59,259 --> 00:04:02,258
And so, on her little piece of property,

82
00:04:02,259 --> 00:04:04,258
she builds a house and whatever,

83
00:04:04,259 --> 00:04:06,258
but she starts to kinda
get that hunger again.

84

00:04:06,259 --> 00:04:08,258

She's like, I'm gonna
go to this next land-run,

85
00:04:08,259 --> 00:04:11,258
and I'm gonna ride a horse
in, like a badass bitch.

86
00:04:11,259 --> 00:04:13,258
Boom! Cannon goes off.

87
00:04:13,259 --> 00:04:16,258
And she does, she rides a horse in.
She's super cool.

88
00:04:16,259 --> 00:04:19,258
And then the horse acts
like a [bleep] asshole.

89
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,258
Throws her.

90
00:04:21,259 --> 00:04:24,258
Tromps her face with its
little horse hooves...

91
00:04:24,259 --> 00:04:26,258
- She what?
- Tromped her face.

92
00:04:26,259 --> 00:04:28,258
What do they do? Trample?
Tramp?

93
00:04:28,259 --> 00:04:32,258
The horse tramped her face?
[laughs] Right?

94
00:04:32,259 --> 00:04:35,258
- Yeah.
- Who cares? She lost it.

95
00:04:35,259 --> 00:04:37,258
So, she's out. She's unconscious.

96
00:04:37,259 --> 00:04:39,258
She wakes up, she's like,
Where am I?

97
00:04:39,259 --> 00:04:41,258
By the way, who cares where I am,

98
00:04:41,259 --> 00:04:43,258
it's land, I'm gonna claim it.

99
00:04:43,259 --> 00:04:46,258
I don't give a [bleep] where I am.
Sha-doink. This is my land.

100
00:04:46,259 --> 00:04:48,258
People next door are like,

101
00:04:48,259 --> 00:04:52,504
You just got hit in the [bleep] face.
You're cray.

102
00:04:52,550 --> 00:04:54,499
Now she's got two plots of land.

103
00:04:54,524 --> 00:04:56,258
That's it, that's it.
That's the cap.

104
00:04:56,259 --> 00:04:59,281
So, Kentucky Daisey brought 11 women.

105
00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:03,108
She's like, Girls, we're
gonna go into these new lands.

106
00:05:03,109 --> 00:05:05,069
We're gonna give you some

property for yourselves.

107
00:05:05,094 --> 00:05:07,108
Like, have at it. This is for us.

108
00:05:07,109 --> 00:05:10,608
This is lady land.
Let's put up some houses,

109
00:05:10,609 --> 00:05:12,108
establish some lady property.

110
00:05:12,109 --> 00:05:14,108
Put a hot tub up.
Do whatever you want.

111
00:05:14,109 --> 00:05:19,108
These bitches are [bleep] rifled up.

112
00:05:19,109 --> 00:05:22,108

They're called Daisey's Amazons

by "The New York Times."

113
00:05:22,109 --> 00:05:24,108
So, they go in there...
here's the crazy part,

114
00:05:24,109 --> 00:05:26,108
you're supposed to go in at noon,

115
00:05:26,109 --> 00:05:29,108
that's the time, but
they go in days early...

116
00:05:29,109 --> 00:05:31,108
which is illegal.
That's like a thing.

117
00:05:31,109 --> 00:05:33,108
Those people were called sooners.

118
00:05:33,109 --> 00:05:34,109
And they hide in a ditch.

119
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:36,108
So, their whole thing
is like, Hey, by the way,

120
00:05:36,109 --> 00:05:39,108
if like a [bleep] dude
runs up on you tonight,

121
00:05:39,109 --> 00:05:42,108
shoot him in the throat.

122
00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:44,108
Sounds like a blast, but okay.

123
00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:46,871
Kentucky Daisey gets it in
her head that... she's like,

124
00:05:46,907 --> 00:05:50,675
You know what we need?
Snacks... supplies.

125
00:05:50,710 --> 00:05:53,278
Food, whatever it was.
I'll volunteer to get the Fritos.

126
00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:55,278
They're like, cool. She goes out.

127
00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:58,278
And the guys in charge
of the land-run are like,

128
00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:01,278
No, not cool.
We're gonna capture you.

129

00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:02,278

You can't get the land.

130
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:06,278
Sorry, you can't go get your Fritos.

131
00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:07,278
Mmm. [sniffs]

132
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:10,278
She diverted the attention
that might have been

133
00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:12,278
on these 11 ladies that
were hiding in the ditch.

134
00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:14,278
And they ended up being land owners.

135

00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:17,278

I'm gonna throw up...
I'm not!

136
00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:19,278
People underestimate the power of wine.

137
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:22,278
Wine is a very... it... high
[bleep] up quotient.

138
00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:27,078
- I agree.
- This is two bottles. [laughs]

139
00:06:27,129 --> 00:06:32,128
[chuckles] So, anyways, in 1893,
it's the biggest land-run ever.

140
00:06:32,129 --> 00:06:35,128
She gets 36 single broads.

141
00:06:35,129 --> 00:06:39,128
She's like, [bleep] those stereotypes.

142
00:06:39,129 --> 00:06:42,128
These are my... hos.
This is the best.

143
00:06:42,129 --> 00:06:44,128
That's what she said.
She was like,

144
00:06:44,129 --> 00:06:46,128
[bleep] blow into these territories

145
00:06:46,129 --> 00:06:51,128
and make a bunch of women
in charge of these lands.

146
00:06:51,129 --> 00:06:55,128

That's everybody's nightmare.

[bleep] yes!

147
00:06:55,129 --> 00:06:59,128
36 single women claimed the land,
set up houses and schools,

148
00:06:59,129 --> 00:07:03,128
and they built themselves...
how dare they.

149
00:07:03,129 --> 00:07:07,128
And that land became Oklahoma,
like, the Sooner State.

150
00:07:07,129 --> 00:07:12,128
She's, kind of,
the mother of Oklahoma. [pistol shot]

151
00:07:12,129 --> 00:07:17,128
You know, it's not all about pioneers.

It's not all about families.

152
00:07:17,129 --> 00:07:21,128
It could be a [bleep] single lady
making it on your own.

153
00:07:21,129 --> 00:07:22,128
- Mm-hmm.
- You know?

154
00:07:22,129 --> 00:07:24,106
Bitches be doing it for themselves.

155
00:07:24,192 --> 00:07:27,219
- To Kentucky Daisey.
- We love you.

156
00:07:27,262 --> 00:07:28,532
We love you.

157

00:07:29,129 --> 00:07:32,169

So, John Glenn is like,
Ten, night, eight, seven...

158
00:07:32,194 --> 00:07:34,128
Gordo's like, Let's just,
like, do it, I'm ready.

159
00:07:34,129 --> 00:07:37,772
Have another drink.
Stop being a little bitch, Derek.

160
00:07:39,785 --> 00:07:41,865
[Steve Earle's "Copperhead Road"]

161
00:07:41,866 --> 00:07:44,584
All right, here we go.
Heels.

162
00:07:44,585 --> 00:07:45,945
Oh, oh, that's right, it's only...

163
00:07:45,946 --> 00:07:47,426
Here we go with the turn.
And stomp!

164
00:07:47,451 --> 00:07:50,584
You better stay away
from Copperhead Road

165
00:07:53,585 --> 00:07:56,584
Derek, come join me.

166
00:07:56,585 --> 00:07:57,865
- Where are you?
- In the bushes.

167
00:07:57,890 --> 00:08:00,584
What're you doing in the bushes?
Come out and play.

168

00:08:00,585 --> 00:08:04,585

Have another drink.
Stop being a little bitch, Derek.

169
00:08:07,585 --> 00:08:11,584
[laughs]
That's good. I like this moustache.

170
00:08:11,585 --> 00:08:14,585
Hi. My name is Laura...
My name is Laura Steinel.

171
00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:17,085
And today we're talking
about Gordon Cooper.

172
00:08:18,885 --> 00:08:20,584
The year is 1963.

173
00:08:20,585 --> 00:08:24,584
Gordon Cooper, he's this

military test pilot from Oklahoma.

174
00:08:24,585 --> 00:08:26,584
NASA had just begun.

175
00:08:26,585 --> 00:08:30,584
And so, he was one of seven
astronauts chosen for Project Mercury.

176
00:08:30,585 --> 00:08:32,584
Also, really chill.

177
00:08:32,585 --> 00:08:35,584
He was like,
Please, call me Gordo.

178
00:08:35,585 --> 00:08:38,584
Don't call me Gordon.
I'm not that official.

179

00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:41,584

Right? And so, all these
space missions go off

180
00:08:41,585 --> 00:08:43,584
without a hitch, and NASA's like,

181
00:08:43,585 --> 00:08:46,584
We've done really well.
Congrats, NASA.

182
00:08:46,585 --> 00:08:48,584
And they're patting
themselves on the back.

183
00:08:48,585 --> 00:08:50,584
And Gordo's like,
Guys, I totally get it.

184
00:08:50,585 --> 00:08:53,584
Like, that's really cool,

like, pats on the back.

185
00:08:53,585 --> 00:08:58,584
But if you want to
send a man to the Moon,

186
00:08:58,585 --> 00:09:01,584
you should maybe see if someone could

187
00:09:01,585 --> 00:09:04,584
be in space for, I don't know,
24 hours.

188
00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:07,584
And NASA's like,
Ugh, yeah I guess, Gus.

189
00:09:07,585 --> 00:09:09,584
Yeah, sure, Gus.

190

00:09:09,585 --> 00:09:11,584

- Gordo.
- Oh, [bleep], sorry.

191
00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:12,665
- I'm an idiot.
- That's okay.

192
00:09:12,690 --> 00:09:14,584
- All right, all right.
- You're fine.

193
00:09:14,585 --> 00:09:16,584
So, Gordo goes on the launch pad.

194
00:09:16,585 --> 00:09:19,584
NASA'd be like,
Hey, just like, really quick...

195
00:09:19,585 --> 00:09:20,665
Like, don't touch anything.

196
00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:22,584
NASA would completely
control everything.

197
00:09:22,585 --> 00:09:25,584
It was so bad that the
astronauts felt like, um,

198
00:09:25,585 --> 00:09:27,584
spam in a can.
[chuckles]

199
00:09:27,585 --> 00:09:29,584
Is what they referred
to themselves as.

200
00:09:29,585 --> 00:09:32,584
So, anyway, he launches
into space and it's like,

201
00:09:32,585 --> 00:09:36,584
Three, two, one, blast off.

202
00:09:36,585 --> 00:09:39,585
[mimics rocket firing]

203
00:09:43,585 --> 00:09:46,584
Are you shooting that...
Okay, good.

204
00:09:46,585 --> 00:09:48,584
He gets up into space
and everything's cool.

205
00:09:48,585 --> 00:09:51,584
He's like, I'm orbiting
the [bleep] Earth.

206
00:09:51,585 --> 00:09:54,584
- Oh, I'm sorry, I wa...

- You can swear.

207
00:09:54,585 --> 00:09:55,585
No, my mom... I try not...

208
00:09:55,610 --> 00:09:57,584
I'm not...
I'm gonna try not to swear.

209
00:09:57,585 --> 00:10:00,584
So, he's in space.
He sends back the first

210
00:10:00,585 --> 00:10:03,584
TV images of a human,
back to Earth.

211
00:10:03,585 --> 00:10:07,584
He has a little powdered
roast beef dinner.

212
00:10:07,585 --> 00:10:10,584
He's just having a ball.

213
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:12,675
So, he takes a nap.

214
00:10:12,676 --> 00:10:16,556
The first guy to ever sleep in space.

215
00:10:16,592 --> 00:10:18,734
He wakes up and he's like,
It's good to be Gordo.

216
00:10:18,735 --> 00:10:21,734
And then, he's like,
Oh, [bleep], no, it's not.

217
00:10:21,735 --> 00:10:24,734
Because... beep, beep.

218
00:10:24,735 --> 00:10:30,735
Oh... [bleep].
I have no stabilization unit.

219
00:10:31,605 --> 00:10:34,604
Everyone in Mission
Control is freaking out.

220
00:10:34,605 --> 00:10:37,604
They're like, Oh, God.
This doesn't look good.

221
00:10:37,605 --> 00:10:39,604
And Gus Grissom is
like, Bro, I love you.

222
00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:41,604
I'm gonna tell your wife you're a hero.

223
00:10:41,605 --> 00:10:43,604

Gordo's like, No, stop it.

224
00:10:43,605 --> 00:10:47,084
I'm gonna take control
over the spaceship.

225
00:10:47,143 --> 00:10:49,605
Gus is like, You're about
to do something none of...

226
00:10:49,630 --> 00:10:51,604
no one has ever done before.

227
00:10:51,605 --> 00:10:53,604
And Gordo's like,
Yeah, no, I know.

228
00:10:53,605 --> 00:10:57,604
So, just shut the [bleep] up, Gus.
I've got control.

229
00:10:57,605 --> 00:11:02,378
He starts to take over manual control.

230
00:11:02,392 --> 00:11:05,604
But, at that moment, he loses
radio signal with Gus Grissom.

231
00:11:05,605 --> 00:11:09,604
And so, he gets a radio signal
over to his friend John Glenn,

232
00:11:09,605 --> 00:11:12,604
who's on the recovery
boat over in Japan.

233
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:15,604
Then he's like, John Glenn, hey.
It's me, Gordo.

234
00:11:15,605 --> 00:11:19,604

Um, I have absolutely no

power in my spacecraft.

235
00:11:19,605 --> 00:11:21,604
And I just wanna get back home

236
00:11:21,605 --> 00:11:24,006
because I'm a really
chill guy. It's me, Gordo.

237
00:11:24,135 --> 00:11:25,604
And he's like, Okay,
here's what we're gonna do.

238
00:11:25,605 --> 00:11:27,604
And so, together they go
through this checklist.

239
00:11:27,605 --> 00:11:32,604
Uh, put this thing up.
Like, press this button.

240
00:11:32,605 --> 00:11:34,604
There's all these things he needs to do.

241
00:11:34,605 --> 00:11:36,604
But then Gordo's like,
Oh, [bleep].

242
00:11:36,605 --> 00:11:40,604
Beep. And his carbon
dioxide meter's going off.

243
00:11:40,605 --> 00:11:43,604
And it's like,
Beep, beep, you're [bleep].

244
00:11:43,605 --> 00:11:45,604
And he's like,
Oh, my God, you're right.

245

00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:46,725

I'm totally [bleep] [bleep].

246
00:11:46,750 --> 00:11:49,604
But I...
no, but he's chiller than that.

247
00:11:49,605 --> 00:11:52,402
No, hold on.
He's way calmer than that.

248
00:11:53,086 --> 00:11:57,604
John Glenn, look, my
carbon dioxide meter's

249
00:11:57,605 --> 00:12:01,604
going off and, uh...
It's like 100 degrees in my cabin.

250
00:12:01,605 --> 00:12:03,604
Which means he's [bleep] dying.

251
00:12:03,605 --> 00:12:06,604
But he's not being
a Debbie Downer about it.

252
00:12:06,605 --> 00:12:09,604
And he's like, I need to get to Earth.

253
00:12:09,605 --> 00:12:13,604
But, like, manual reentry
had never been done before.

254
00:12:13,605 --> 00:12:15,604
So, if he enters the
Earth's atmosphere too steep,

255
00:12:15,605 --> 00:12:18,604
he's gonna blow up.
So, he says, Okay.

256

00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:21,604

There's the Big Dipper.
There's the Little Dipper.

257
00:12:21,605 --> 00:12:25,604
Gemini...
He draws an axis on the window

258
00:12:25,605 --> 00:12:29,604
and uses the constellations
as his constant.

259
00:12:29,605 --> 00:12:32,604
And he says, This is
going to be my angle

260
00:12:32,605 --> 00:12:34,604
at which I can enter Earth's atmosphere.

261
00:12:34,605 --> 00:12:37,604
Which I think is... pretty incredible.

262
00:12:37,605 --> 00:12:41,604
So, John Glenn is like, Okay.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six...

263
00:12:41,605 --> 00:12:44,604
Gordo's like,
Let's just, like, do it, I'm ready.

264
00:12:44,605 --> 00:12:48,604
So, he fires, uh...
[grunts]

265
00:12:48,605 --> 00:12:50,264
Uh, what does this mean?

266
00:12:50,605 --> 00:12:52,604
[laughs]

267
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:56,604

[chuckling] What's it called when

there's fire coming out of stuff?

268
00:12:56,605 --> 00:12:59,604
What... when it's like a fire...

269
00:12:59,605 --> 00:13:00,604
[groans]

270
00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:01,604
[laughs]

271
00:13:01,605 --> 00:13:05,604
He fires the rockets.

272
00:13:05,605 --> 00:13:07,605
[mimics rocket blast]

273
00:13:08,605 --> 00:13:10,604
He had a $5 wristwatch,

and that's what he used

274
00:13:10,605 --> 00:13:14,604
to figure out how long
to fire his rockets.

275
00:13:14,605 --> 00:13:16,604
[mimics rocket blast]

276
00:13:16,605 --> 00:13:19,604
Gordo is like, I'm
entering Earth's atmosphere!

277
00:13:19,605 --> 00:13:21,605
[bleep] bravo to me!

278
00:13:23,605 --> 00:13:25,605
Wait. Oh.

279
00:13:28,605 --> 00:13:32,604

[both laugh]
And he splashes down.

280
00:13:32,605 --> 00:13:37,604
And he has the most
accurate splash-down, ever,

281
00:13:37,605 --> 00:13:40,556
in... NASA history.

282
00:13:41,605 --> 00:13:44,845
He's like, so chill. He's like,
Hey, guys, I made it.

283
00:13:44,870 --> 00:13:49,604
I'm not surprised.
It's me, Gordo.

284
00:13:49,605 --> 00:13:51,605
Big whoop.

285
00:13:56,455 --> 00:14:00,454
- Gordo changed the game.
- Great.

286
00:14:00,455 --> 00:14:02,455
He had a $5 wristwatch!

287
00:14:04,755 --> 00:14:07,254
- All right, Mark.
- I'm listening.

288
00:14:07,255 --> 00:14:10,254
- Well, you're gonna do some talking.
- Hello.

289
00:14:10,255 --> 00:14:14,303
- I'm Mark Gagliardi.
- I'm Mark Gagliardi.

290
00:14:14,508 --> 00:14:15,905

And today, we're gonna talk about...

291
00:14:15,906 --> 00:14:17,626
Oh, is this really
that part of the thing?

292
00:14:17,651 --> 00:14:19,424
- Yep.
- Yeah, now you're woken up.

293
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:20,424
Here he comes.

294
00:14:20,425 --> 00:14:22,424
This is how television
works, bitches.

295
00:14:22,425 --> 00:14:23,424
- Ready?
- Which camera?

296
00:14:23,425 --> 00:14:28,424
- Action.
- Hi, I'm Mark Gagliardi.

297
00:14:28,425 --> 00:14:30,424
[glass crashes] Today
we're gonna talk about

298
00:14:30,425 --> 00:14:34,228
Bass Reeves.
[laughs]

299
00:14:36,555 --> 00:14:39,554
Bass Reeves is born as a slave.

300
00:14:39,555 --> 00:14:43,554
One night,
Bass Reeves and his master

301
00:14:43,555 --> 00:14:48,554

get in an argument over a poker game.

Bass Reeves...

302
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:55,312
punches his owner in the face.
And Bass Reaves thinks to himself,

303
00:14:55,406 --> 00:14:59,554
Oh, [bleep], you guys, I
just coldcocked my boss.

304
00:14:59,555 --> 00:15:02,554
Listen, let's be honest, my owner.

305
00:15:02,555 --> 00:15:05,554
This is probably not
gonna be good for me.

306
00:15:05,555 --> 00:15:11,272
So, Bass Reeves hightails it
to the Indian Territories of Oklahoma.

307
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:15,554
So, Bass Reeves winds up living
among the Seminole Nation,

308
00:15:15,555 --> 00:15:19,366
learning the language of all
of these indigenous peoples.

309
00:15:19,474 --> 00:15:21,554
And trained in the
ways of Native American

310
00:15:21,555 --> 00:15:26,057
- tracking and hunting.
- Hmm, awesome.

311
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:30,704
- Ah, I appreciate you, Derek. I love you.
- I love you.

312
00:15:30,705 --> 00:15:32,521
You're my... listen, I'm...

313
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:36,704
We're gonna make a baby.
Um... [both laugh]

314
00:15:36,705 --> 00:15:38,704
I may be aimed down
at the ground for

315
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:40,704
the whole of this, but
don't worry about that.

316
00:15:40,705 --> 00:15:44,704
In 1875 the U.S. is changing.

317
00:15:44,705 --> 00:15:47,704
Taming the Wild West and

all that kinda [bleep].

318
00:15:47,705 --> 00:15:51,704
U.S. Marshal James Fagan knew
that this was dangerous work.

319
00:15:51,705 --> 00:15:58,288
He needed the guy that full on
dances with wolvesed in that area.

320
00:15:58,323 --> 00:16:00,299
[laughs]
So, Fagan goes to Reeves.

321
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:04,019
Hey, I have 75,000 square miles

322
00:16:04,020 --> 00:16:07,704
to cover to bring bad guys to justice.

323

00:16:07,845 --> 00:16:11,844

And Bass Reeves said,
Listen, I'm ambidextrous,

324
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:15,844
I can shoot a gun with both hands.

325
00:16:15,845 --> 00:16:20,245
I'm 6'2" and 390 pounds.

326
00:16:20,845 --> 00:16:24,807
I'm gonna be the guy
that keeps you safe.

327
00:16:24,845 --> 00:16:27,845
The only thing I can say to you is...

328
00:16:28,845 --> 00:16:31,844
I'm gonna tape a... take a nap.
[bleep] you.

329
00:16:31,845 --> 00:16:34,844
There he goes on the floor

330
00:16:34,845 --> 00:16:36,844
- Derek?
- Mm-hmm?

331
00:16:36,845 --> 00:16:40,844
- Take my hand.
- Good night, then.

332
00:16:40,845 --> 00:16:42,845
Night. So...

333
00:16:44,845 --> 00:16:49,844
So, Bass Reeves is working as a
U.S. Marshal, picking up bad guys.

334
00:16:49,845 --> 00:16:53,844
So, one of the bad guy

things that he does is,

335
00:16:53,845 --> 00:16:56,844
he dresses himself up as an old beggar

336
00:16:56,845 --> 00:17:01,844
at the homestead of
a couple of bad guys' mother.

337
00:17:01,845 --> 00:17:05,844
He says, I'm just a poor old beggar.

338
00:17:05,845 --> 00:17:08,844
I just need a place
to stay for the night.

339
00:17:08,845 --> 00:17:12,844
So she gives Bass Reeves
a place to spend the night.

340

00:17:12,845 --> 00:17:14,845

As soon as the two outlaws fell asleep,

341
00:17:15,845 --> 00:17:20,844
Bass Reeves pulled down his shawl,
grabs his six shooter.

342
00:17:20,845 --> 00:17:23,940
He says, The Bass w...
hold on.

343
00:17:23,975 --> 00:17:26,845
I'm gonna corner their dumb
asses while they're sleeping.

344
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:29,844
I'll sleep you...

345
00:17:29,845 --> 00:17:32,845
I will sleep clack you
into my handcuffs, bitches!

346
00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:34,845
And I'm gonna grag you...

347
00:17:35,845 --> 00:17:38,844
I'm gonna grag you...
hold on.

348
00:17:38,845 --> 00:17:41,537
I'm gonna drag your asses in jail

349
00:17:41,611 --> 00:17:43,844
where I gathered up all the criminals.

350
00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:46,684
- That's pretty badass.
- Listen, mother[bleep],

351
00:17:46,697 --> 00:17:49,024
I'll tell you this whole story, hold on.

352
00:17:49,059 --> 00:17:51,844
This is how big a badass Bass Reeves is.

353
00:17:51,845 --> 00:17:55,844
The Brunter Brothers,
another group of outlaws,

354
00:17:55,845 --> 00:18:00,844
ambushed him at gunpoint.
Bass Reeves kept his cool,

355
00:18:00,845 --> 00:18:03,844
turned to the first
Brunter Brother and said,

356
00:18:03,845 --> 00:18:06,844
I'm sorry, do you know
what the date is today?

357

00:18:06,845 --> 00:18:10,844

And as that brother was trying to
figure out the date for the day,

358
00:18:10,845 --> 00:18:13,844
Bass Reeves shoots
the first two brothers.

359
00:18:13,845 --> 00:18:16,844
And then coldcocked the other brother

360
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:19,844
and carried them back to
the court at Fort Lewis.

361
00:18:19,845 --> 00:18:23,844
And they're like, You know what?
[bleep] you, Bass Reeves!

362
00:18:23,845 --> 00:18:26,673
[bleep] you and your knowing

what's right and wrong!

363
00:18:26,708 --> 00:18:30,844
[bleep] you, Honest...
Honest Jack Reeves!

364
00:18:30,845 --> 00:18:31,844
[bleep] you, Bass Reeves,

365
00:18:31,845 --> 00:18:35,844
and your wanting to give
the honesty to the people!

366
00:18:35,845 --> 00:18:40,844
- Mark.
- I love you. [laughing]

367
00:18:40,845 --> 00:18:44,844
I love you.
I'ma kiss you on your lips.

368
00:18:44,845 --> 00:18:45,844
- Derek Waters.
- No.

369
00:18:45,845 --> 00:18:47,551
I'ma kiss you on your lips.

370
00:18:48,345 --> 00:18:49,805
I just wanna hold your face.

371
00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:53,497
- Will you finish the story if I do this?
- I promise I will.

372
00:18:53,645 --> 00:18:53,645
- Promise?
- I'm...

373
00:18:53,646 --> 00:18:57,644
- No slapping.

- I'm not gonna slap you, Derek.

374
00:18:57,645 --> 00:19:02,645
- What're you gonna do?
- Derek? [sighs]

375
00:19:03,645 --> 00:19:05,685
- That was very nice.
- I'm gonna take a nap now.

376
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:07,686
Nope. You promised, if
you could touch my face...

377
00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:09,644
- I'll touch your face.
- You were gonna finish

378
00:19:09,645 --> 00:19:11,644
- the [bleep] story.
- I'ma finish it, hold on.

379
00:19:11,795 --> 00:19:16,794
So, uh, one night,
Bass Reeves is chasing after Jim Webb.

380
00:19:16,795 --> 00:19:19,794
He'd killed a ton of
dudes, and Bass Reeves...

381
00:19:19,795 --> 00:19:23,794
pew, pew, pew...
shot down this dude.

382
00:19:23,795 --> 00:19:26,794
And this guy is laying
there, on the ground,

383
00:19:26,795 --> 00:19:28,794
looks up at Bass Reeves, and he says,

384

00:19:28,795 --> 00:19:33,795

Bass, this bullet that
is designed for you...

385
00:19:34,795 --> 00:19:39,794
Nah, man.
I want this bullet to be designed

386
00:19:39,795 --> 00:19:42,794
for people that [bleep] you up.

387
00:19:42,795 --> 00:19:45,294
That guy, Jim Webb, gave that gun

388
00:19:45,295 --> 00:19:47,794
to Bass Reeves because he respects him.

389
00:19:47,795 --> 00:19:51,794
- Derek.
- Shh. Tell the story.

390
00:19:51,795 --> 00:19:53,794
- I love you.
- I love you.

391
00:19:53,795 --> 00:19:56,794
Bass Reeves threw more
men in jail than any

392
00:19:56,795 --> 00:19:59,794
other Marshal in U.S.
history, 3,000 men.

393
00:19:59,795 --> 00:20:03,794
And when he died,
his funeral was attended

394
00:20:03,795 --> 00:20:06,795
by hundreds of people.
White...

395

00:20:07,795 --> 00:20:09,794

Black...
Native American...

396
00:20:09,795 --> 00:20:14,579
and whatever the other
thing was that they had.

397
00:20:14,709 --> 00:20:18,794
And they all went
to pay their respects to this,

398
00:20:18,795 --> 00:20:22,794
the most important man,
of the wild frontier.

399
00:20:22,795 --> 00:20:27,794
You know what?
Reeves was the inspiration...

400
00:20:27,795 --> 00:20:28,794

for the Lone Ranger.

401
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:31,794
How come more people
don't know that Bass Reeves

402
00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:34,794
is who inspired the Lone Ranger?

403
00:20:34,795 --> 00:20:35,794
Because he's black.

404
00:20:35,795 --> 00:20:38,794
- That's sad.
- Yeah.

405
00:20:38,795 --> 00:20:42,794
- Well, we're changing history now.
- I love you.

406

00:20:42,795 --> 00:20:45,794

[orchestral music]

407
00:20:54,532 --> 00:20:57,879
<i> sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~</i>

408
00:21:03,136 --> 00:21:04,136
Right.

409
00:21:13,136 --> 00:21:14,135
And then what happens?

410
00:21:14,736 --> 00:21:15,436
Mm-hmm.