4th Grade Descriptive Writing Unit

Common Core Standard:

W.4.3: Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective
technique, descriptive details, and clear event sequences.

CLL Goals:

Describe characters by how they look, what they do, say, and think, and what others say
about them.
Describe the setting with appropriate detail.
Develop an interesting story with believable characters and a realistic or fantastic plot.
Use a range of descriptive words to enhance meaning.

Objective:
Students will be able to write a snapshot narrative, of a situation either real or imaginary, they
will be able to write descriptive show-me sentences, use their five senses to describe, and help
the readers paint a vivid picture of what is going on in their snapshot narrative.

Day 1: Hook the Students

Materials: The BFG by Roald Dahl, writing notebooks for all students
Teacher Actions:
Read the first nine pages of Roald Dahls The BFG aloud to the class.
These pages include short chapters titled, The Witching Hour and Who? These first two
chapters will hook the students on Dahls descriptive writing because he paints a picture
for the reader.
Make sure to read with good fluency and expression to enhance the vivid descriptions
Dahl has written.
Present the first couple pages to the class on the projector. As a class, we will identify
some of the best adjectives & phrases that Dahl uses to describe The Witching Hour and
Who? chapters.
Explain the importance of writing with great detail. Roald Dahl has written many
successful books because people enjoy reading his elaborate descriptions of the
characters, settings, and events in his books. We can make people want to read what we
write by being descriptive authors just like Roald Dahl.
Student Actions:
Students will be listening to the teacher as she reads aloud.
Actively participate in identifying the best descriptive words the author used.
While the class is identifying descriptive words/phrases, individuals will write the
descriptive words/phrases in their writing notebooks, labeling the page with the title and
author of the mentor text.
Mentor Text:

The BFG by Roald Dahlwe will be reading the first nine pages of this text. The beginning
pages describe the witching hour when the giants go out and hunt for people to eat. The second
chapter describes the Big Friendly Giant (BFG) that happens to catch the main character Sophie
peering out of her window during the witching hour. This mentor text will be used to hook the
students on how great descriptions draw the reader into the book and make the reader feel as if
they are inside of the book with the characters.

Day 2: Tell-Me vs. Show-Me Sentences

Materials: whiteboard, Expo markers, show-me & tell-me sentence worksheet
Teacher Actions:
Introduce tell-me sentences and show-me sentences by modeling how to write each type
of sentence.
Tell-me sentences are simple sentences with a linking verb and an adjective that tells the
reader something. A show-me sentence demonstrates the idea of a tell-me sentence
without stating it outright, rather they describe, or show the main idea to the reader. A
show-me sentence helps describe a person, place, or thing in great detail. Often times a
show-me sentence grows into multiple sentences.
Write the following tell-me sentence on the white board. Then have the students help you
transform this sentence into an elaborate, descriptive show-me sentence(s).
o Tell-me sentence: My room is messy.
o Show-me sentence: I walk into my bedroom. The stench of old pizza is
overwhelming. Heaps of dirty, smelly clothes are piled high on the nearly
invisible floor. One of my tennis shoes is dangling from the broken ceiling fan. I
wonder where the other shoe is?
Ask the students why the show-me sentences are valuable for descriptive writing.
Give the students a worksheet with a list of tell-me sentences. They will transform 4
sentences into show-me sentences.
Student Actions:
First, the class will listen to the descriptions of the tell-me and show-me sentences.
Then, the class will help the teacher transform a tell-me sentence into a show-me
sentence. They will be transforming the sentence, My room is messy.
Students will do a think-pair-share about why they think descriptive writing enhances the
readers experience with a text.
Finally, the students will be given a list of tell-me sentences. They will select at least 4 of
these sentences to change into a show-me sentence or sentences. The students will work
on adding descriptive words and phrases to show the reader the statement sentence
instead of simply telling the reader that their room is messy.
List of tell-me sentences to give to students:
1. I had a busy day today.
2. My friend makes me laugh.
3. He was nice.

4. I am not a morning person.

5. Our family vacation was a disaster.
6. My father is a good man.
7. Taking tests makes me nervous.
8. I was scared.
9. The twins are completely different.
10. My dog is lazy.
*Students will select at least 4 of the above tell-me sentences to change into showing
sentences that do not just state the fact, they should be as descriptive as possible.

Day 3: Five Senses Help Describe

Materials: 5 senses graphic organizer, projector, James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl,
teacher example writing
Teacher Actions:
Show the 5 senses graphic organizer on the projector. Have the students identify words or
phrases that are associated with each of the senses.
Give each student a graphic organizer.
Tell the students that they will fill out the graphic organizer with words or phrases they
hear Roald Dahl use to describe what is going on in the book.
Read aloud part of James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl, specifically pages 23-26.
This section of the book is written with show-me sentences and uses all five senses in
order to paint a picture for the reader.
Have the students share out their favorite sense-words or phrases that Dahl used to
enhance the imagery of the scene.
Give the students another blank graphic organizer. They will use this to start
brainstorming a memory that stands out in their life that they can use in part of their
personal narrative. Give an example of baking cookies with my grandmother, use this as
the topic.
Write descriptive, showing sentences in each of the boxes for all five senses that help
create a vivid image of this particular memory for your students. The descriptions should
be very detailed so that all of your readers create the same image in their minds as they
read.
Examples of some of my sense sentences and the showing versus telling version.
o Showing Sentence: My adorable, plump grandmother had mastered the art of
baking the most delicious, chewy, chocolate chip cookies, and she was nice
enough to teach me how to bake them! I can still hear my grandmothers voice
sweetly telling me how much of each ingredient to pour into the mixing bowl
while I make cookies today.
o Telling Sentence: My grandmother taught me how to bake cookies.
Explain: This sentence leaves too much up to the readers imagination; they could all
picture different scenarios. The showing sentences guide the reader to construct the
precise image that you want them to visualize.
Student Actions:

Help the teacher identify words or phrases that represent all five senses.
Listen to James and the Giant Peach as the teacher reads aloud. Write down as many
sense-words you can in the graphic organizer as you listen to the story excerpt.
Share out their favorite sense-words or phrases that Dahl used to enhance the imagery of
the scene.
Select a person that stands out in their life. Start to brainstorm descriptive sense-words
and phrases that they can use to enhance the description of this memory.

Mentor Text:
James and the Giant Peach by Roald DahlWe will be reading pages 23-26 from this book.
These pages describe the scene where James is cleaning up the yard around the giant peach in the
nighttime. He finds a hole in the peach and crawls inside. In these pages, Dahl describes the wet
stickiness of the peach as James crawls through, the bittersweet smell of the peach, how sweet
and juicy the peach tasted, the silence of the night, and the mysterious door in the center of the
peach. This excerpt will lend itself well to teach the students how to use all of their senses to
enhance their writing in a meaningful way in which the reader becomes part of the story.

Day 4: Write a Snapshot Together

Materials: 5 senses graphic organizer, writing utensils, chart paper, writers notebooks
Teacher Actions:

Today we will be writing a snapshot together.

A snapshot is a detailed description of the people, places, and things that made your
memory so memorable. It is similar to a photograph because you paint a picture of what
is exactly going on in the scene for the reader. You do this by using the most descriptive
words possible. It is called a snapshot because you help the reader create the picture
you want them to visualize.
The teacher will ask the class to help her write a snapshot of the zoo together since they
had recently went on a field trip to the zoo.
We will use a graphic organizer of the five senses to help get the best descriptions
possible of the zoo. Give the students their own copy of the organizer again.
The first line will be written by the teacher: On a hot, sunny spring day, Miss
Gustafsons class took an exotic trip to the Blank Park Zoo, you will never believe what
we saw while we were there.
Ask for volunteers to come up and write the next sentence on large, lined sheet paper in
the front of the class.
Read aloud the finished snapshot chorally once it is complete.

Student Actions:
Students will help the teacher write a snapshot about the trip to the zoo.
They will all individually write sentences on their five senses graphic organizer.
Students will volunteer to read aloud the sentence they want to add to the snapshot. Then
they will go up and write their sentence to the snapshot.
Students will write this down in their writers notebook for future reference.

Day 5: Write Your Own Snapshot

Materials: Matilda by Roald Dahl, writing paper, writing utensils, teacher example writing,
writers notebooks, 5 senses graphic organizer

Teacher Actions:
Today you are going to write a snapshot. You can choose to write about a memory that
stands out in your life, or you can create an imaginary snapshot.
Weve already learned how to use showing sentences and our senses to make our writing
more descriptive, make sure you use these descriptive writing techniques in your
snapshot writing. I will read some more of Roald Dahls work to help get your creative
juices flowing.
As you listen to the story, I would like you to start thinking of possible snapshots you
could write about. If an idea comes to you, feel free to jot it down.
Read Dahls book Matilda. Read the chapter titled The Trunchbull on page 82. Roald
Dahl does a great job of painting vivid snapshots of the characters and scenes in his
novels. He shows the reader what is taking place rather than telling the reader. He also
uses all five of his senses to engulf the reader in his writing and make them feel as if they
were inside of the story.
Model how to write a snapshot of an important memory in your life for the class. Below
is my sample writing of an important memory in my personal narrative.
o My Snapshot Writing (continued from the previous lesson):
My adorable, plump grandmother had mastered the art of baking the most
delicious, chewy, chocolate chip cookies, and she was nice enough to teach me
how to bake them! I can still hear my grandmothers voice sweetly telling me how
much of each ingredient to pour into the mixing bowl while I make cookies today.
After we mixed all of the ingredients, we would pop the cookies in the oven. It
was unbearable to wait for the cookies to bake for nine whole minutes because the
scrumptious, sugary, chocolaty smells filled the entire house. My stomach would
start to grumble as I watched the cookies rise and turn golden brown in the hot
oven.
Student Actions:
Listen to the explanation of what a snapshot is and how to write one.
Have a writers notebook out during the read aloud in order to write down potential
snapshots to write aboutyou can choose a significant memory from your life or you can
make up an imaginary snapshot. Make sure you can incorporate as many of the five
senses as possible for this snapshot writing.
Listen to the teacher read aloud from Dahls book.
Write your own personal snapshot using show-me sentences, five senses, and the best
descriptor words you can think of.
The majority of this lesson will be writing time for students to begin their snapshot
narrative.

Mentor Text:
Matilda by Roald DahlWe will be reading the chapter titled The Trunchbull from this book
because Dahl describes the headmistress of the school Matilda attends. Dahl helps the reader
picture Miss Trunchbull in great detail by saying, Looking at her, you got the feeling that this

was someone who could bend iron bars and tear telephone directories in half. Her face, Im
afraid, was neither a thing of beauty nor a joy for ever. She had an obstinate chin, a cruel mouth
and small arrogant eyes. And as for her clothesthey were, to say the least, extremely odd. She
always had on a brown cotton smock which was pinched in around the waist with a wide leather
belt. This is a great example of a snapshot of a main character that will help the students create
an exact mental image of Miss Trunchbull, similar to what they will do on their own.

Day 6: Peer & Self Editing Day

Materials: peer and self-editing checklists, students snapshot narratives
Teacher Actions:
Tell the students that today will be an editorial day. You will self-assess your snapshot
narrative using the Self-Editing Checklist for your self-editing.
After you have self-assessed your snapshot narrative, you will edit at least one of your
peers snapshot narratives. You will use the Peer-Editing Checklist to edit your friends
writing.
When you are editing, you will be looking for how it sounds when it is read aloud, capital
letters, correct punctuation, show-me sentences, 5 senses sentences, orderly, makes sense,
correct spelling, and descriptive words.
At the bottom write any comments, suggestions, or questions you have about your friends
writing or your own.
Student Actions:
List and follow to the teachers directions for editorial day.
Edit your own snapshot narrative first. Make sure to fill out the Self-editing Checklist.
When you are done, the teacher will pair you with someone who you can swap papers
and peer-edit eachothers snapshot narrative.
Swap papers with your assigned partner. Each of you will complete the peer-editing
checklist for the other persons snapshot narrative.
When you both are finished, have a discussion with your peer about their narrative. What
did you like? What do you want or need more information about? How can you make the
writing better?
Use constructive criticism to help your friend make their writing the best it can be.
Remember to focus on show-me sentences, the senses, and great descriptions like Roald
Dahl
uses.

Teachers Summative Assessment

The following rubric will be used to assess the students final draft of their snapshot narratives
later on in the unit. The second rubric is for student participation throughout the unit. This will
be assessed informally throughout the entire unit based on teacher observations, final drafts, and
successful peer editing.

Differentiated Instruction

Use dictation as a way to help capture students thoughts and ideas about their writing.
This is especially good for ELLs who arent fully proficient in writing English. Often
times ELLs can speak more than they can write. Dictating what they describe will help
them familiarize themselves with those words and they will be able to remember them
easier if they are self-generated instead of teacher-generated stories.
Struggling writers can use the graphic organizer to construct their snapshot in pieces
before compiling all of the sentences in a logical, flowing way.
Have strong writers peer edit struggling writers so they can help the struggling writers
become stronger writers. This will also help the stronger writers become better at editing
another persons writing.
Provide a word bank for the students who are having difficulties writing their snapshot of
a memory. These words should be descriptive adjectives, sense words and phrases, and
key words that they need help spelling.
o Sense words: see, hear, feel, taste, smell
o Adjectives: bubbly, awesome, beautiful, adorable, dirty, disgusting, dull,

crushing, enormous, excited, free, friendly, huge, hungry, humiliating, icky, lazy,
mad, marvelous, nasty, naughty, etc.
Provide sentence starters to students who are unsure of where to begin.
o I saw the
o I felt
o This person makes me feel
o We heard
o It tasted like

Reflection on Writing Process

As I wrote my descriptive snapshot about my grandmother I found it to be a lot of fun. I
think reading some of Dahls books truly did help me recall how to write so vividly for the
reader. Once I had read a couple of his books I felt like writing descriptively was something that
came easier to me. I think I have always been pretty good at creative/descriptive writing, so this
was an enjoyable experience for me. Although my grandmother didnt teach me how to bake
cookies, she did teach me how to bake many other things. Cookies just seemed to be something
that would create an allure to the students. I did find that once I wrote my snapshot, I went back
and added in more descriptive words to make the picture even more precise for the readers. I
think it is easier to teach something that you are good at and enjoy because the students will feed
off of the teachers excitement and risk taking, and ultimately help the students feel comfortable
and excited about this type of writing.