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Lovemaking
Move Freely,
Enhance Your Sensuality,
and Prolong Your Intimate Occasions
TM
Deeper Lovemaking
copyright 2004 Lawrence Gold
awareness@somatics.com
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Brief portions of this volume
may be reproduced
for use in articles and reviews.
More extensive portions may be reproduced
with written permission from the author.
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CONTENTS
Welcome in! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 3
About This Book - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 3
What Does This Program Do? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 3
What to Expect - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 4
The Origins of the Somatic Exercises - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 5
How Best to Learn the Somatic Exercises - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 7
Potent Tips - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 10
A Final Word Before Getting Started - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 15
How Often to Do the Exercises - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 16
The Special Use of Language for Learning Somatic Exercises - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 17
THE SECRETS
Special Technique: muscle equalization - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 23
Secret: The Whole-Body Yawn - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 25
Control of Orgasm -- drinking the nectar - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 27
Introduction: Control of Orgasm - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 30
Practice: The Cadenced Breathing - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 33
Secret: The Whole-Body Orgasm- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 43
Wriggling -- how to do the dance - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 43
Introduction: Wriggling - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 45
Practice: Wriggling - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 47
Secret: Pacing Yourself - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 65
Twisting -- for sexing in four dimensions - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 67
Introduction: Twisting - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 69
Practice: Twisting - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 71
Secret: The Advantage of Waiting - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 87
Spine Waves -- sensuous spinal undulations - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 89
Introduction: Freeing Your Pelvis - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 91
Practice: Spine Waves - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 93
Secret: Attention - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 117
Learning the Grind of the Bump and Grind -- putting it all together - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 119
Introduction: The Grind of the Bump and Grind - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 121
Practice: Learning the Grind of the Bump and Grind - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 123
Secret: The Subtle Touch - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 127
Freedom to Spread Your Legs -- sometimes, you must close before you can open wide - 129
Introduction: Freedom to Spread Your Legs - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 131
Practice: Freedom to Spread Your Legs - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 133
Secret: The Transcendent Kiss - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 139
Freeing Your Groin -- for pushing together - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 143
Introduction: Your Low Back -- Hidden Connection to Your Groin - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 145
Practice: Freeing Your Groin - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 147
Practice: Freeing Your Groin -- II - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 156
Secret: Boundaries - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 165
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DISCLAIMER
Nothing in this program should be
construed to diagnose or treat any medical
condition. If you have a medical condition,
including high blood pressure, vascular disease,
or history of stroke, or are concerned that you
may have a medical condition, consult a
physician and show him or her this program and
get approval before beginning the program.
The procedures given in this program are
inherently natural and safe. Done properly, these
movements improve suppleness and control of
movement. Occasionally, soreness may result for
a day or two after doing them. Such soreness is
normal. However, if your soreness persists for
more than 24-36 hours, stop doing this program
and consult your physician.
Since the author cannot be present to
supervise you, you and he must rely upon your
good judgment and intelligent application of the
instructions found herein. In undertaking this
program, you assume all risk of injury that may
result from failure to follow the instructions correctly or from inappropriate use of this program.
Welcome in!
About This Book
This workbook contains the same material as is found in the program on
audio CD and supports that program with illustrations. The audio program is
the primary instructional source, although this book can be used without it.
What Does This Program Do?
This program teaches sensuality, which consists of five powers of
sexual enjoyment -- control of orgasm, breathing, feeling-attention, skillful
movement, and suppleness.
As you improve these powers, you enhance your stamina, sexual
mastery, and sexual feeling. The more you feel, the more sensual you
become.
The Orgasm Muscles
The pleasurable sensations of orgasm partially come from the
muscles that pulsate at the floor of the pelvis. These muscles hold part of the
key for building up the excitement charge that people experience as orgasm;
the greater the charge, the stronger the orgasm.
There are two aspects to the orgasm muscles: how well you control
their movement and how well you feel them.
Of course, there is much more to the excitement of sex than the control
of muscles, but that control is a gateway to the buildup of feeling that
replaces mind and ego with bliss and thrills that wash through you in ecstasy.
Breathing
To breathe well makes all the difference in building up to strong
orgasms. It also makes possible controlling the time of orgasm and for creating orgasm waves -- those crests of intensity that take you to the edge every
time, but no further, until youre ready.
Feeling-Attention
There is mental attention and there is feeling-attention.
Mental attention thinks; feeling-attention feels. Mental attention
decides; feeling attention experiences. Mental attention is of the mind; feeling-attention is of the body. Mental attention concerns inself with before or
with later; feeling-attention concerns itself with now.
This program uses mental attention to get you to do things that
enhance your feeling-attention. The instructions appeal to your mental attention; the sensations appeal to your feeling-attention.
To develop more feeling-attention is the key to the advanced lovemaking secrets.
Control of Movement and Suppleness
Control of the movements that give you and your partner pleasure
depends upon suppleness -- flexibility and smooth control of movements.
What to Expect
Generally, you may expect to improve your flexibility, strength, intensity
of pleasure prior to orgasm, control of orgasm, quality of orgasm, and your
ability to please your partner through your movements. As an added bonus,
your energy for movement in general is likely to increase.
Your first experiments with these somatic exercises will probably show
you your lack of control. Thats good; it means you have room to improve. As
you do these movements, you may find, at times, that what you think you are
doing and what you are actually doing are a bit different! Notice both what
you mean to do and what you are actually doing. Its not enough to mean to
do the movements; you need actually to do the movements as described.
With practice, you will find you can do the movements more exactly as
described, feel them more clearly, and get quicker improvements.
Deeper Lovemaking
Always regulate your effort to be within your comfort zone. Never force
movements, as you cant get their benefits by doing so. The most common
mistake people make is to use too much effort, which sometimes leads to
cramping. If you get a cramp, use less effort and lend more attention to what
you are feeling. Soon, you will no longer tend to cramp, even at stronger levels of effort, and youll get more movement with less effort (feel stronger).
Work within your range of easy movement and you will find that that range of
movement increases by itself.
The Origins of the Somatic Exercises
Though these somatic exercises are new, their underlying principles are
similar to those of yoga, dating back thousands of years. The word, yoga,
means union; the somatic developmental exercises improve your sense of
the union of your body and mind; your body will be able better to do what
your mind intends you to do. Then, your experience of union with your partner
will also improve.
The Kama Sutra is perhaps the most famous of the ancient yogic texts
of sexual prowess. In it many techniques and positions are described.
Unfortunately, for many people, they lack the flexibility to do what the Kama
Sutra describes. This book fixes that problem.
More recent developments in the body-mind field known as
somatics or somatic education have contributed to what is found here.
Three researchers stand out as as contributors: F. Mathhias Alexander (developer of The Alexander Technique), Moshe Feldenkrais (developer of
Feldenkrais Functional Integration), and Thomas Hanna (developer of Hanna
Somatic Education).
Each researcher developed ways to improve self-awareness and
freedom of movement - intentions originally found in ancient yoga. What I
learned from Thomas Hanna and others, coupled with my own discoveries,
has led to this book.
Deeper Lovemaking
direction of
movement
angle
indicator
location of
sensation
(underside)
1. (main instruction,
basic level)
2nd level additional
movement cue
(intermediate level)
movement cue
(more advanced level)
Deeper Lovemaking
Adding the more advanced parts makes an exercise more potent, provided you are doing the basic part correctly. For that reason, it is necessary to
rehearse the basic part until you can do it easily, before adding the more
advanced parts.
After you have learned the movements of a session, refer to this guidebook to refresh your memory of the finer nuances of the movements, which
boost their effectiveness.
Significant results come relatively quickly from doing the somatic exercises. Make them part of your daily regimen. Enjoy a growing mastery of your
own physical (and mental) processes in the sexual act.
Potent Tips
The Feeling is the Thing
Unlike most systems of exercise, the essence of the somatic exercises is
the sensations they produce, particularly during the slow relaxation phase of
each exercise. The deeper changes occur during the relaxation phase.
Why Gently?
Going gently calls for you to develop more care and awareness of
what you are doing. So going gently is not being lazy, nor is it a sign that you
are weak. It is a way of operating more carefully and attentively, and it is particularly valuable when confronting a challenge. It is a way of working
smarter, not harder.
In the sexual act, going gently sets the threshold of sensation at a low
level. That means that sensitivity is increased.
How to Get Supple
A major cause of stiffness is tight muscles. Seeking a way out of stiffness,
many people stretch. However, a more effective approach is available.
Concerns with stretching muscles point to one key observation: muscles get shortened.
The key question is, Why?
The nervous system controls the muscular system. Muscles have no
control of their own. The obvious conclusion to draw is that muscles get shortened because the nervous system is stimulating them to contract.
That being the case, how can someones being stretched (or adjusted
or massaged) by someone else possibly change the persons way of controlling their own muscles? How can a person internalize the change merely by
being manipulated from outside? To internalize a change requires learning
(to do for oneself), the need for which is neither recognized nor intended
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Deeper Lovemaking
when being stretched by another. The changes that result from stretching are
therefore generally unpredictable, unstable, and short-lived.
As a result, people return, by tendency, to the level of tension (or shortening) they experience habitually.
Athletes and dancers attempt to stretch their hamstrings (along the
backs of the thighs), for example, to avoid injury. Attempt is the correct
word because stretching produces only limited and temporary effects, which
is one reason why so many athletes (and dancers) suffer pulled hamstrings
and knee problems.
Clearly, whatever benefits stretching confers, it has some significant
drawbacks.
As anyone who has had someone stretch their hamstrings (or any other
muscle) knows, forcible stretching is usually a painful ordeal. Because muscles
cannot relax and lengthen beyond what the conditioned postural reflexes
permit, attempts to stretch muscles work against those reflexes. Someone
stretches their muscles. The muscles resist. It hurts. Afterwards, the muscles
feel weaker. So they tighten up, again. This return of muscular tension (controlled by conditioned postural reflexes) makes repeated stretching necessary.
Fortunately, there is a way out of this situation, another way to deal with
muscular tension than by stretching. To understand how it works, we must first
start with the recognition that muscles that need stretching are usually holding
tension -- that is, they are actively contracting. The person is holding them
tense by habit, usually involuntarily and without awareness.
Oddly enough, if you try to relax muscles that are habitually tight, using
an act of will, you are likely to find that your ability to do so is limited; you cannot relax past a certain point, even with special breathing, visualization, or
other non-learning based techniques.
At that point, you may assume that those muscles are completely
relaxed and need stretching. You may not recognize that you are contract-
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How It Works
By deliberately contracting already-contracted muscles, using patterns
of movement that duplicate the habitual tension pattern, these exercises
send a strong sensory signal to the brain, a signal that wakes up (or refreshes)
the related nerve pathways. By releasing the contraction in slow motion, you
re-awaken your brains ability to control the amount of muscular tension.
Slow motion gives a clearer and more complete body image and is the
key to developmental exercises and to any other learning process where
details make a difference.
Significant results come relatively quickly from doing movement exercises, and when they do, the benefits are durable, feel second-nature, and
require no special attention during ordinary activities.
To avoid accumulating tension from stress responses in daily life -- or
from repetitive use of certain movement patterns -- it is good to include a few
minutes of these exercises in your daily health regimen. Continuing to do
them produces cumulative improvements. With the looseness that develops,
you are likely to develop a preference for these freeing movement exercises
over stretching.
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Preparatory Learning
STARTING POSITION:
1.
2.
19
3.
20
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5. While holding,
slowly tilt your
head back (chin
up) and feel
where the tension
goes, in your neck.
Pay special attention to
the place behind your
nose.
21
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
22
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Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
23
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Control of Orgasm
DRINKING THE NECTAR
27
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29
Control of Orgasm
Lets get straight to the point.
Control of orgasm is basic to your ability to get
the most out of sex and to create an exceptional
experience for your partner.
To control orgasm, you must be able to ride your
waves of pleasure and to absorb them, and to decide
when to go for it and let them overwhelm you. In
particular, that means you must be able to contract
and relax the muscles of orgasm at the floor of your
pelvis to control orgasm. You must also be able to
control your breathing to use it to regulate the intensity of the pleasure waves and to spread them all over
your body.
The very act of learning to control the tensions of
orgasm will also improve your ability to ride the wave
of sensation that carries you to orgasm.
In the ancient yogic literature, there is an energy
channel described which runs from the genitals to the
spine. Peak sexual experiences occur when you get
the excess of sexual sensation to disperse into that
channel instead to out of the body in orgasm. Control
of sexual energy is the key to controlling orgasm. And
control of the tensions of orgasm and of breath is the
key to controlling the flow of sexual energy.
Recognizing that some people find the concept
of energy suspect or meaningless, let me describe it
in another way: as sensation.
Sensation is what is meant by energy -- and for
good reason: all of our senses perceive changes in
energy: light energy, vibration, heat, pressure, etc.
Sensation is our experience of energy.
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Deeper Lovemaking
That cleared up, lets take on the most pleasurable project of controlling sexual energy.
The ordinary experience of sex involves stimulation, pleasurable sensation, and the build-up of the
sense of sexual energy -- a sexual charge -- that ends
in a cataclysm of pleasure. Ordinarily, people build
up that charge as quickly as possible to get to orgasm
as quickly as possible. This is the regrettable example
provided to us by most pornography. It leads to premature loss of control and decreased pleasure.
The example of pornography leads to an inferior
sexual experience that looks better than it feels.
Instead, learn to build slowly and with feeling.
Building more slowly enables you to develop and hold
a greater charge of sexual energy.
To the degree that you have control over that
charge, you can delay orgasm while enjoying its
growing charge. Truly overwhelming orgasms are
possible.
The muscles of orgasm are the key to delaying
orgasm and building a charge (for men); toning the
muscles of orgasm is the key to increasing sensation
and building a charge (for women).
As charge builds up, you naturally feel a hotprickly-juicy wave of sensation in your sex zones.
For men, as you come close to cresting, squeeze
and relax your orgasm muscles, as if swallowing with
them. Relax completely between pulses. Stop moving, if necessary, to be able to absorb the sensations
faster than they build. Youll feel the juicy sensation
move back from your genital area and deeply into
your pelvic cavity, then up your spine. Your whole spinal alignment will change with each wave. Your con-
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Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
33
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
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Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
35
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
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Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
37
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
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Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
3. Swallow.
Feel the wave of swallowing go down
to your stomach.
39
5. Exhale slowly.
As you practice working with your
orgasm muscles, you will notice
heightened energy and mental
clarity.
Repeat as many times as you are comfortable doing this
maneuver.
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Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
41
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
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Wriggling
HOW TO DO THE DANCE
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Wriggling
By now, youve gained some control over
orgasm. To gain further control, it helps to be able
to control your pelvic movements better.
Heres where things get more interesting.
Obviously, the sensations of intercourse come in
large part from contact. Not so obviously,
straight forward and backward motions dont do
much to maximize contact, but side-to-side
motions do.
Wriggling
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Wriggling
In this movement:
NOTE: Use less than full strength; move in an easygoing way. Use the
minimum effort necessary to get a sensation and reduce the amount of
effort with each repetition.
If you cramp, use less effort and go more slowly.
Wriggling
47
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
STARTING POSITION:
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Slowly relax
completely.
NO EFFORT
Repeat a few times until you feel where your waist tightens. Then,
continue to the next step.
Wriggling
49
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
Slowly relax.
NO EFFORT
Rehearse at least three (3) times until you feel the action at your
waist.
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Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
Balance the
two actions by
equalizing efforts.
4.
Slowly relax
completely.
NO EFFORT
Wriggling
51
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
Equalize the
two efforts.
4.
Slowly relax.
Focus on the feeling of
muscles relaxing.
NO EFFORT
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
Wriggling
2.
3.
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Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
4.
5.
Exhale.
Feel your abdominal
muscles contract more.
6.
Equalize all
efforts.
7.
Slowly relax.
NO EFFORT
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Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
Wriggling
55
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
4.
Balance the
two efforts.
Feel your whole torso shift.
5.
Slowly relax.
Focus on the feeling of
muscles relaxing.
NO EFFORT
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Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
Wriggling
3.
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Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
4.
Equalize the
two efforts.
5.
Slowly relax
completely.
NO EFFORT
Repeat a few times until you feel what the action does to the
position of your torso.
58
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
Equalize the
efforts.
4.
Wriggling
59
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
5.
6.
7.
60
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
8.
Equalize the
shrug and
elbow-dig.
Feel how all actions combine to flex you to the side -a half-wiggle.
9.
Wriggling
61
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
62
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
Wriggling
1.
2.
3.
4.
63
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
5.
6.
7.
Exhale.
NO EFFORT
64
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Deeper Lovemaking
65
That means, Know exactly what you INTEND to do, get the distinct feeling of ALLOWING yourself to do it (relax into doing it), and then, DO it.
66
Deeper Lovemaking
Twisting
FOR SEX IN FOUR DIMENSIONS
67
68
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Twisting
Twisting
69
70
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
Twisting
STARTING POSITION:
Twisting
71
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
Slowly relax.
72
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
NO EFFORT
Slowly relax.
Relax completely.
Twisting
73
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Press it down
into the surface, lift
your chest and hold.
74
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
5.
6.
Balance the
efforts of buttock
and shoulder.
Notice how the
sensation centers in
your back.
Twisting
75
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
2nd level
Press the
7.
While holding
shoulder and
buttock tight, take a
deep breath and
hold it.
2nd level Contract
8.
76
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
9.
Rehearse the movement at least three (3) times until you get
better at it.
Twisting
77
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
2nd level
Tighten the
bent-knee buttock.
Feel how tightening
your buttock helps turn
your straight arm
inward.
78
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
3.
4.
NO EFFORT
Rehearse the movement at least three (3) times until you get
better at it.
Twisting
79
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
bent-elbow shoulder
down.
80
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
3.
Slowly relax.
Feel the last place in your
groin that relaxes.
NO EFFORT
Repeat slowly at least three (3) times, noticing the first place
in your groin that contracts and the last place that relaxes.
Notice if you get a little farther, each time, without extra effort.
Twisting
81
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
Twist your
straight arm inward,
so that you feel your
shoulder lift and pull
toward the tight
place in your groin,
and hold.
2nd level Lock your
straight arm and
straight leg straight.
82
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
NO EFFORT
3.
4.
5.
Slowly inhale.
Twisting
83
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
Contract the
buttock and hold.
3.
4.
84
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
5.
6.
Balance the
efforts of all four
extremities by
comparing one to
the other.
Youll feel one diagonal
line of tension down your
back and another
diagonal line of tension
across your front. Equalize
them by balancing your
efforts.
Twisting
85
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
7.
8.
9.
NO EFFORT
Straighten out and compare your right side to your left side.
Notice where they feel different from and similar to each other.
Repeat the entire sequence for the opposite side.
86
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87
wait until the pull to kiss is positively magnetic before going in; wait until desire
and anticipation are really strong before removing clothing; after each
advance, back off and wait a little. Let anticipation build, then go further,
then back off and wait until the intensity builds, some more. Women, dont
wait too long or you may drive your man insane with desire and lose him altogether. Learn to ride the edge.
There is a balance.
To feel when it is time, notice when you feel both the excitement of
passion and a sense of control. Ride the edge. Move forward until you feel
you are teasing the dragon, then take a step back. Allow the excitement
to build. When you can sustain it at will, build some more. Youll know when
you want to go for it.
88
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Spine Waves
SENSUOUS SPINAL UNDULATIONS
89
90
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Spine Waves
Freeing Your Pelvis
One of the basic problems people have
with basic pelvic movement is back pain from
tight back muscles. Even without back pain, tight
muscles interfere with movement, and some people have limited pelvic movement. If youre
going to have freedom of pelvic movement, you
need to be free of back tension and back pain.
This movement exercise relaxes and
comforts your back to improve your freedom of
pelvic movement.
Hidden Connections
Among the bodys parts, there are hidden
connections, in which movements of one part
elicit responsive movements of other parts. By
moving both parts together and feeling the
effort, we can reset muscular tensions that are
otherwise habitual.
The following movement, Spine Waves,
makes use of such hidden connections. By so
doing, they produce some remarkable changes
of freedom of movement for which there is no
adequate substitute.
91
92
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
Spine Waves
STARTING POSITION:
93
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
4.
NO EFFORT
94
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
Equalize tensions at
the back of your
neck and mid-back.
95
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
4.
5.
Repeat until you feel the muscles of your mid-back relax as you
lower your breastbone (about five (5) times at decreasing levels
of effort).
96
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
5 4.
Equalize tucking
your chin and lifting
your breastbone.
Relax all efforts.
Feel your throat open.
97
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
5.
Breathe freely.
NO EFFORT
Repeat until you clearly feel the base of your throat constrict
and then open (about five (5) times at decreasing levels of
effort).
98
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
This next move improves your control of the muscles that run
from the base of your throat, up through the back of your throat
(the front of your neck vertebrae), to the place behind your
nose. You may notice your mid-back relax in waves with each
repetition.
1.
Inhale, breastbone
up, and hold.
Feel the effort of lifting
your chest.
2.
3.
Equalize the
sensations of the
front of your neck
and mid-to-upper
back by adjusting
the efforts.
99
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
4.
5.
6.
NO EFFORT
Repeat this combination movement until you can clearly feel the
wave of tension move to the place behind your nose (about five
(5) times at decreasing levels of effort).
100
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
Now you are ready to involve the muscles of your low back.
1.
2.
3.
101
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
4.
5.
6.
102
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
7.
8.
9.
Without changing
position, inhale.
feet.
103
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
NO EFFORT
104
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
Repeat until you feel your back flatten by relaxing (about five (5)
times, total, at decreasing levels of effort).
105
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
Gradually tighten
the small of your
back and hold.
4.
106
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
5.
6.
7.
8.
NO EFFORT
Repeat until you can feel your low back flatten a bit more
(about three (3) times, total, at decreasing levels of effort).
107
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
Gradually tighten
the small of your
back and hold the
shape.
4.
108
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
5.
6.
7.
8.
109
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
9.
110
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
Keep the
back of your pelvis
snug against the
surface as you lie
back. Lie back slowly
enough to stay in snug
contact.
3rd level
Locate the
place behind your
nose as you lie back.
111
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
112
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
4.
5.
6.
2nd level
Look up
toward your brow.
113
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
7.
8.
9.
Equalize the
downward pressure
on your feet and
head.
Allow time for the
sensation to set in. You
may feel muscles shifting.
114
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
115
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
2nd level
Lie back
slowly enough to keep
the back of your pelvis
snug against the
surface as you lie
back.
3rd level
Locate the
place behind your
nose as you lie back.
116
Deeper Lovemaking
Secret: Attention
Attention is the great intensifier. Whatever you put your attention on,
you experience. More attention, more experience of whatever your attention
is on.
The flip side also holds true. When you are the object of attention, your
experience gets more intense.
Thats a key to sensuality and to sexuality. It all starts with attention.
If you want to intensify your partners experience, put more attention on
him or her. The more attention you place on him or her, the more he or she
will feel.
The more attention you place on yourself and your sensations, the more
you will feel. Thats a clue for the control of sexual response.
Theres a difference between putting attention on your partner and
getting more excited and putting your attention on your partner and having
him or her get more excited. If youre getting more excited and you notice it,
your attention has gone back onto yourself or into your imagination. If you
want to keep control of your responses, keep your attention on your partner.
In a way, its a sort of game: who can get their partners attention most
onto themselves. Its an alternating play, a balancing act. Played well, both
of you win.
At first, your attention may be primarily on what you are feeling, on
what your partner looks like and on his or her sounds and scents. But it can
also be attention to emotional experiencing -- to what you and your partner
are feeling. It can be attention to your partners attention (where is it?), to
your partners bodily energy field (experienced as sensations), and ultimately,
if you feel deeply enough into your partner, it can be attention to the formless
mystery beyond dreaming that contains both you and your partner as you
partake in sexual ecstasy.
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118
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119
120
Deeper Lovemaking
The Grindof
the Bump and Grind
A few words on The Bump and Grind
movement pattern.
Why do they call it, The Bump and Grind?
Its because first you bump and then you grind -penetration as deep as possible followed by
undulating and gyrating movements.
Bump and Grind requires freedom of
movement of your pelvis. Otherwise, you may
have plenty of bump but little grind. When
people with a rigid pelvis try to grind, they end up
doing awkward, sudden, out of control, out of
round movements.
Since bump and grind is very pleasurable
to women and fun for men, its a good thing to
be able to do.
The following movement frees your spine
for bump and grind. It gives new meaning to the
word, screwing.
121
122
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
seated
hands on hips
feet and knees at
shoulder width
1.
123
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
2.
3.
4.
124
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
5.
6.
7.
8.
125
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
126
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127
128
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129
YAB-YUM POSITION
130
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Freedom to Spread
Your Legs
131
132
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
133
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
134
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
135
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
Continue until you distinctly feel the connection between the two
places.
136
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
Slowly relax.
4.
137
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
5.
6.
7. Equalize the
efforts of lifting
your leg and
head.
8. Slowly relax all
efforts.
Repeat at least three times until you are more relaxed.
Then turn over and do the other side.
138
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139
140
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141
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
142
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143
144
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145
146
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
147
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
NO EFFORT
1.
2.
NO EFFORT
148
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
Relax in place.
149
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
150
1.
2.
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
3.
151
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
4.
5.
6.
Relax completely in
place. Do not move
out of position.
You have just done one
complete cycle. Repeat
in the same position
before locating the next
position.
152
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
4.
153
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
5.
As before, pull
the muscles of your
groin toward your
opposite hip.
6.
7.
Slowly relax.
154
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
SUMMARY:
knee down
head up
arm up
leg up
arm down
head down
leg down
relax
155
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
STARTING POSITION:
lying on your back
one leg straight, the other leg bent
at the knee
knee of the bent leg dropped to
the side
foot of the bent leg against the
inside of the thigh of the other leg
at or above the knee
face forward
hand opposite bent leg under
your head
If necessary for comfort in your
groin, place a cushion under your
bent knee and/or elbow.
156
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
157
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
4.
5.
In that position,
slightly lift the foot of
that leg. Stay within
your comfort zone.
Feel the added sensation
in your groin. Notice how
your opposite hip lifts,
slightly. This is folding your
groin.
158
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
6.
7.
8.
Contract both
buttocks and relax.
159
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
160
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
161
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
4.
Continue to locate
positions by progressively
straightening, contracting
and relaxing, until your
bent leg is completely
straight.
162
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
163
164
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Secret: Boundaries
A boundary is something you can push against.
A soft boundary allows penetration.
In relationships, softening a boundary involves yielding. It may be the
yielding of allowing someone to get to know you, the yielding of allowing
someone to do something to you, the yielding of allowing yourself to feeling
something. A soft boundary has a feeling of control that makes it safe to feel
and even enhances feeling.
Seduction involves the willing softening of boundaries.
If you feel pressured or violated, you have a boundary; the more pressured or violated, the harder the boundary.
The other side of the coin: no boundaries, no sense of penetration, only
unity with the other.
A person with boundary issues wants to have a boundary, but believes
he or she shouldnt. He or she doesnt really allow him-or-herself to feel
because to feel would be too much. A person with hard boundaries also
doesnt allow him-or-herself to feel.
So, its not a matter of having no boundaries or solid boundaries, but of
having control over your boundaries.
Which brings us to the sense of feeling pressured.
Feeling pressured may seem to be the experience of someone pushing
too hard on your boundary. It seems that way because theres usually someone out there apparently doing the pushing. But unless the pushing is physical, and not merely verbal, the sense of pressure isnt coming from outside; its
coming from within.
Let me say that another way. If you feel highly pressured by someone
to do something, its because youre in conflict with your own desire to do
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165
that same thing. Otherwise, the feeling of pressure would be noticeable, but
minor and within your power of decision. The feeling of urgency to make a
decision, which is the essence of feeling pressured, comes from within. Otherwise, there would be no sense of urgency; your mind would already be made
up and you would feel secure in your stand. So something else is going on,
and that something is conflict with your own desire.
Own up to it. Feel it. Feel the resistance to it. Alternate feeling your
desire and resistance. The, teel both your desire and your resistance at the
same time. The feeling will be a familiar tension. Notice if that feeling of tension is voluntary or involuntary. Dont think about it; feel it. Then, decide
whether you want to keep that tension.
If you let it go, youll relax and discover a new sense of freedom without
feeling so pressured. Youll have better control of your boundary and your
ability to decide when you soften it. Youll have freer choice -- and a freer
ability to enjoy your decision.
166
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167
168
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169
170
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171
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
on your back
legs: knees up, feet
spaced so legs balance vertically,
leaning
neither in, nor out
hands: fingers interlaced at the base of
your head
head: resting in the
cups of your palms
elbows: flat on the
floor
If necessary for comfort, place
cushions under your elbows.
172
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
CHIN UP
CHIN UP
2.
Slowly relax.
NO EFFORT
Repeat until you can sense the moment effort begins and the
place where it begins.
173
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
By pulling your
shoulder blades
together in back,
gently pull your
shoulders back into
the surface on
which you are lying.
3.
Slowly relax.
NO EFFORT
Repeat until you can sense the moment effort begins and the
place where it begins.
174
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2nd level
Feel the
place behind your
nose as you press.
5
2.
HEADDOWN
3.
HEAD DOWN,
CHIN UP
175
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
4.
5.
Equalize the
efforts of head and
shoulders.
176
(+).
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
2nd level
Notice how
your low back feels as
you hold the head
and shoulder tripod.
4.
5.
177
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
6.
178
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
179
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
By pressing down
with your feet, lift
your hips high.
180
3.
4.
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
5.
181
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
6.
Keep your
head up, let your
hips come down.
2nd level Inhale as
you lower your hips.
7.
8.
NO EFFORT
182
Deeper Lovemaking
(See?)
Deeper Lovemaking
183
OK. As an act of mercy, Ill explain. That was an experiential presentation of what the title meant. If you noticed what you felt upon seeing the
blank page after the enticing title, youll understand the power of teasing -the offering of something and then its withdrawal or non-fulfillment. It makes
you want it all the more, doesnt it?
nuff said.
184
Deeper Lovemaking
185
186
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
The Pelvic
Power Thrust
Our spine and legs are related. Leg movements affect pelvic position. Just think of how, by
tightening your buttocks (which pull your legs
backward), you cause your pubic area to come
forward. That changes the curve of your low
back.
The movement pattern in this section
creates a powerful connection between torso
and legs and enhances your ability to control
your pelvic thrusting movements.
The movement, itself, is inherently satisfying.
Work in an exploratory fashion, feeling the
effects as you do the movements. Dont let your
attention wander; keep it in the movement all the
way to the end, and you will probably discover
and release tensions that you didnt know you
had.
187
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
188
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
189
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
190
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
By tightening your
buttocks, spread your
legs so the sides of your
thighs press down.
2.
Slowly relax.
191
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2.
3.
Equalize the
amount of tension in
your buttocks, belly,
and neck.
192
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
4.
193
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
194
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
1.
2nd level
your brows.
Look up at
2.
Slowly relax.
3.
4.
Slowly relax.
195
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
5.
196
6.
Slowly relax.
7.
8.
Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
9.
197
198
Deeper Lovemaking