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YOUR brainhow to use it

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January 14, 2007

BREAKING OUT
Love, sex and family life don’t have to be hard work –
you can train your brain for happiness and fulfilment

brainy baby: Make learning fun for your child with our free DVD
 YOUR brainhow to use it
4
4 Children: growing pains
Our early years are characterised by
dramatic brain growth, but what can
be done to develop its full potential?

6 Think yourself young

From turbulent teens through to an
active old age – how to keep your
mind in shape throughout your life
8
8 Chemistry of desire
Love’s three stages: how your brain
behaves in a relationship, when to
obey your instincts and when not to

10 Sex on the brain

What we do, how we do it, what we
think about it – and how to do it better.
COVER: MARK GUTHRIE. HAIR AND MAKE-UP: WAI KAN. MODEL WEARS VEST BY PENGUIN, LEGGINGS BY SWEATY BETTY, BALLET PUMP TRAINERS BY PUMA. This page: top centre: getty. left, top and below: corbis

Recent research holds the answers

12
12 In the brain scientist’s lab
Key experiments in brain science.
This week: speech production.
Plus, what dreams are made of

BRAIN TESTS
4 How optimistic – or pessimistic – are your children?
7 How old are you in your head? Learn your mental age
10 Think you have the empathy gene? Find out here

NEXT WEEK THE MIND GYM: learn to flex your mental muscles –
sharpen your IQ, boost your memory and perform better at work
Find the online version of Your Brain, weeks one and two, at www.timesonline.co.uk

ContributOrs: Editor Dorothy Wade Assistant editor Mary Braid Art director Jo Mizen
Chief sub-editor Matt Munday Writers Susannah Price, Charlotte Hunt-Grubbe,
Did you know?
Melanie Clayton Designer Kate Andrews Sub-editors Judith Allison, Mark Curtis-Raleigh The Pill can be bad for your love life.
A woman is normally attracted by the
smell of a man with different immunity genes
book offer from her own. But on the Pill, she is more likely to
Your Brain: How to Use It is adapted from The Owner’s Manual find a man with similar genes attractive. If she
for the Brain: Everyday Applications from Mind-Brain Research comes off the Pill, she may go off the man…
by Pierce J Howard (Bard Press, £17.99), which is available at
the Sunday Times BooksFirst price of £16.19, including p&p.
To order a copy, tel: 0870 165 8585. Pierce J Howard, PhD, is a
leading cognitive-science researcher, educator and author.
He is director of research at the Centre for Applied Cognitive
Studies (CentACS) in North Carolina, and is a frequently quoted
authority on new findings in the cognitive sciences.

free dvd
Stimulate your baby’s mind with the Right Brain/Left Brain
DVD that comes free with today’s Sunday Times. Designed for
children aged 6 to 36 months, the Brainy Baby disc comes in
two parts: one to foster creative thinking, the other for logical
thinking. Featuring a calming soundtrack, “Right Brain”
encourages creativity through rhyming games, creative
imaging and imagination games; while “Left Brain” focuses on
logic with counting, sequencing, stacking and more.
 The sunday times
 The wonder years During
childhood, a loving family
environment is crucial
for brain development
Case Book The patients that changed brain history
l Phineas Gage In 1848, an explosion propelled a metal pole through
the railway foreman’s left frontal lobe. He survived, but was transformed
into a highly impulsive man who gambled and drank. His case led to the
association of the frontal lobes with self-control and personality.
case book
l HM In 1953, a young man, HM, underwent brain surgery to cure his
epilepsy. The removal of his hippocampus – a tiny area in the temporal
lobes – cured his fits but prevented him from forming new memories,
highlighting the link between the hippocampus and memory.
l Clive Wearing On March 29, 1985, the musician Clive Wearing
contracted herpes encephalitis and suffered damage to several areas of
the brain. Like HM, he lost the ability to create new memories. But he
remembers how to play piano and conduct a choir – evidence that his
procedural memory, associated with the cerebellum, has survived.
l Genie Raised in a cage by her disturbed parents in Los Angeles, Genie
was discovered, and released, in 1970 aged 13. A study of her delayed
development revealed that she made least progress in language. Her
case is used to support the theory that there are critical periods for
language acquisition. If missed, language never develops properly.
l Auguste D In 1901, 51-year-old Auguste D was admitted to a Frankfurt
asylum after a deterioration in her intellectual and language skills. She
use your mind
to live happily
ever after
T
he four-part Sunday Times guide to the
brain gives you the tools to understand
your mind and use it better. Our guide
features cutting-edge brain research and
the latest advice on applying the findings to
your own life.
This week, the second part of the guide helps
you to get the most out of love, sex and family
life. We explain what happens to your brain
when you are attracted to someone. You may
be assailed by a maelstrom of hormones, but
you don’t need to lose your head.
Once you’ve found a partner, our guide helps
you to negotiate the three stages of love and sex
– from short-lived lust to obsessive romantic
love, to long-term attachment.
If you’ve survived all that and now have a
family, our guide has numerous tips to give
your children a head start. It offers advice on
brain development – in the unborn baby or
the volatile adolescent. Finally, you will learn
how to care for your brain as it evolves – if you
keep mentally active, your intellectual powers
need not decline with age.
was seen by Dr Alois Alzheimer. Five years later, when she died, he
examined her brain and identified the neurofibrillary tangles and
amyloid plaques that are now the disease’s hallmark.
l Sybil In the early 1960s, psychiatrist Dr Cornelia Wilbur, treated a
patient, Sybil, whom she claimed had revealed 16 alter egos under
hypnosis. Dr Wilbur claimed that childhood abuse had caused Sybil to
create the alter personalities; some argue that the personalities may
have been planted in Sybil’s memory during therapy.
l RM A brain-injury patient reported on in 1992, RM was unable to
recognise faces, but retained the ability to distinguish between cars.
Such cases, known as prosopagnosia, suggest there is a specific part of
the brain – the fusiform face area – dedicated to face recognition.
l Madame X An unnamed French woman was the first to be diagnosed
with Capgras syndrome by the psychiatrist Joseph Capgras in 1923. She
could recognise her family, but believed imposters had replaced them.
There may be a problem in the brain parts linking emotion with memory.
l HJA In 1987, HJA, 79, suffered a stroke that damaged his occipital
lobes, responsible for visual processing. He could no longer recognise
objects, but he could see, move around without bumping into things
and pick things up. This disorder is known as visual agnosia.
your brain: how to use it 
 Are your children
optimistic?
Research shows that children with a pessimistic
QUIZ EXTRACTED FROM THE OPTIMISTIC CHILD © 1995 MARTIN SELIGMAN. REPRINTED BY PERMISSION OF HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPNANY. MAIN ILLUSTRATION: ELLIOT THOBURN. ILLUSTRATION, BOTTOM: GARY COOK. TOP LEFT: CORBIS. LEFT MIDDLE AND FAR RIGHT, BOTTOM: ALAMY. RIGHT MIDDLE: GETTY
1. All Change: the brain evolves throughout the decades, starting
The constant gardener Brain cells and connections
multiply rapidly in young children and teenagers. These

thinking style may be prone to depression in must be pruned into shape as they grow and learning
later life, whereas optimism may “inoculate” takes place. Using the brain well in old age encourages
them against depression. To discover how your nerve-growth factor (NGF), which prevents decline
children think, try this quiz with them

I was playing ball that

day. (0)
B. I don’t try hard when
I’m playing ball. (1)
5. You miss a movie
due to a delayed train baby brain
A. There have recently
been problems with
trains being on time. (0)
1. You fail a test B. The trains are almost
A. My teacher makes never on time. (1)
hard tests. (1) 6. A team that you are
B. The past few weeks, on loses a game child brain
my teacher has made A. The team don’t play

From tiny seeds to

hard tests. (0) well together. (1)
2. You almost drown B. That day, the team
when swimming didn’t play well
A. I am not a very together. (0)

budding geniuses
cautious person. (1) 7. Your teacher asks a
B. Some days I am not question and you give
a cautious person. (0) the wrong answer
3. You try to sell sweets, A. I get nervous when
but nobody buys any I have to answer

T
A. Lately a lot of questions. (1) here are four periods in our lives place. A child is born with billions of neurons,
children are selling B. That day, I got when our brains undergo rapid ready for life experience to forge trillions of
things, so people don’t nervous when I had to change. The first takes place in the connections – synapses – between them.
want to buy anything answer questions. (0) womb, the second in the first three The baby hasn’t been idle in the womb. In fact,
else from children. (0) 8. You take the wrong years of life and the third in adolescence. Later it has already started learning. Research suggests
B. People don’t like to bus and you get lost years also mark a period of rapid brain change. that newborns know their mother’s voice and
buy things from A. That day I wasn’t even recognise the theme tune to Neighbours if
children. (1) paying attention to the baby their mothers watched the soap while pregnant.
4. You miss the ball what was going on. (0) It’s no wonder that life, which starts But antenatal development is subject to many
and your team loses B. I don’t usually pay with the division of a single cell, is potentially devastating threats, particularly
the game attention to what’s considered a miracle. By the time a during the first four months of pregnancy when
A. I didn’t try hard while going on. (1) baby arrives, the basic architecture – cells are migrating to all corners of the brain.
the hardware – of its brain is in Alcohol, for example, causes cells to overshoot
To score their intended destination, while radiation
Total the numbers following the chosen A or B exposure shortens their journey. Children who
answers (ie 0 or 1) for each question. are overexposed to such substances can be born
interpreting the score with mental and physical dysfunction. Foetal
0-1 Optimistic: resilient, comes back for more. Did you know? alcohol syndrome, for example – caused by
2-4 Average: becomes demoralised only briefly. A baby’s brain cells excessive drinking during pregnancy – leads to
4+ Pessimistic: passive, unlikely to bounce back. multiply at the rate of low birth weight, a small head, distinctive facial
tips for a happy outlook 250,000 every minute in the features caused by brain damage, learning
l Optimists blame outside, temporary causes first half of pregnancy. After difficulties, hyperactivity and attention problems.
when things go wrong. Pessimists blame 20 weeks, this pace slows down as The unborn baby’s environment is crucial,
themselves and factors that they can’t change. the brain begins to organise itself into and to ignore it could have serious consequences.
The Optimistic Child by Martin Seligman is a guide more than 40 systems – for language,
to teaching children optimistic thinking. vision, movement and so on. By the sixth childhood
l When criticising your child, too much blame month, nearly all of the neurons The child’s first three years are critical to brain
produces guilt; no blame erodes responsibility. needed are present. development. In this period, infants have twice as
l Whenever you can, criticise your child in an many neurons and synapses as adults although,in
optimistic and accurate style, by focusing on time, a pruning process occurs in which some
specific causes and ones they can change. connections grow stronger through learning and
Avoid blaming your child’s character or ability. other unused cells and synapses die.
 The sunday times
in the womb. Learn how to help your children flourish during the key years of development

elderly brain

teenage brain

twice the normal rate. The act of stroking BRAINWAVES

As the brain stimulates the production of chemicals that
develops in inhibit stress hormones – including cortisol – Helping healthy brain development
the womb, that kill neurons. before and after birth
neurons Ron de Kloet, an expert in l In pregnancy, it is important to steer clear
journey out neuroendocrinology, claims that even substitute of alcohol, cocaine, marijuana, cigarettes
from the parenting helps prevent neuronal damage caused and other harmful drugs.
centre of the by maternal deprivation. By stroking newborn l Don’t take too many vitamins. Pregnant
brain to their mice with a moist brush (to simulate the women who do so are 25% more likely to
destinations mother’s licking), researchers were able to produce a child with spinal-column defects,
along fibre eliminate most of the neuronal damage that attributed to an excess of vitamin A.
stem cells typically results from maternal deprivation. l Avoid stress. A high heart rate for the
called glia These findings are backed by studies of mother translates as a high heart rate for a
(right). children. When Mary Carlson, of Harvard foetus. Higher stress and higher cortisol
Exposure to Medical School, studied Romanian infants who levels in the mother also mean higher stress
alcohol or had been either raised in orphanages or sent to and higher cortisol levels in the foetus. There
radiation can brain-cell poor-quality daycare centres, she found that is increasing evidence linking intense stress
cause them to migration in both had abnormally high and lasting cortisol in the first two trimesters of pregnancy with
miss their target the womb levels. She also discovered that the daycare an increased risk of developing various
children had high levels of cortisol on weekdays, kinds of psychopathology – especially
The first 18 months of a child’s life can be but that their levels fell back to normal when schizophrenia.
divided into seven critical periods, the they returned home for the weekend. High l Think about what you are exposing
psychologist William Staso argues, cortisol levels are associated with both learning your baby to before it is born.
and each of these is linked to a stage and memory problems. l Babies’ future taste buds are open
of brain development and an Should parents be nervous that they might to influence in the womb, so treat
optimum environment. miss the opportunity to maximise their child’s your unborn to a rich range of food.
Staso suggests, for example, that brain potential? The philosopher of science John l Once your child is born, find the
in the first month of a child’s life it Bruer says not to worry. He argues that plenty of highest possible quality of day care
is best to eliminate background uncommitted synapses are available for learning if a parent is not at home. A
noises so that a baby can throughout life, and “critical periods” of stimulating and loving environment
concentrate on foreground development can be met by a normal upbringing. is paramount for development.
activity such as a parent’s voice. By Bruer argues for the influence of genetics, so l Ensure that your infant is touched
13-18 months, parents should be that parenting becomes a job of recognising a and stroked every day from birth.
making their child’s surroundings as child’s strengths and encouraging them. l Don’t get too paranoid about
diverse as possible. What if a child’s brain has been damaged? In creating optimum environments. You
Affection is as important to the the young brain, damaged neurons can be can’t waste your child’s neurons by
brain as the right environment. Mark replaced by others. However, studies suggest that not introducing the right toy on just the
Smith, a scientist, has found that after the age of eight, brain damage is far harder right day. The process of brain
laboratory-animal infants deprived to overcome. Damaged neurons can be replaced, development is more flexible than that.
of maternal care lose brain cells at but slowly and in much more meagre quantities.
your brain: how to use it 
 2. The flexible brain: maximise healthy brain growth, survive the teenage years and maintain an active,

Grow older
BRAINWAVES

It is essential for adults to

offer firm guidance

and wiser
during the turbulent teens
l We now know that the
frontal areas of the brain
mature late in teenagers,

but that does not mean
that they must wait to
practise maturity! They
should always practise
evaluating alternatives
and considering
consequences.
TOP CENTRE: CORBIS. TOP LEFT: BBC. BOTTOM LEFT: PYMCA. QUiZ, BOTTOM RIGHT, FROM STAY SHARP WITH THE MIND DOCTOR BY PROFESSOR IAN ROBERTSON © IAN ROBERTSON 1995 (VERMILION, £8.99)
A
dolescence and later life mark the final periods
of accelerated change in our brains. After the
heady hormonal turmoil of our teens, we can
keep our nervous systems in trim by setting
goals and never turning our backs on the learning process.
the teenager
Parents have good reason to dread the teens. Harry
Enfield’s sullen Kevin the Teenager may make parents, and
even teenagers, laugh but there’s no doubt that adolescence
can be a trying, volatile and even dangerous time.
Dr Jay Giedd, of the US National Institute of Mental
Health, has scanned the brains of 1,800 teenagers since
1990 and argues against the traditional notion that the
brain is matured by puberty. The brain isn’t fully grown up,

according to Giedd, until the age of 25.

l When managing
adolescents, remember
that short-term motivation
is linked to the pleasure-
pain centres, whereas
long-term motivation is
linked to the prefrontal
cortex, which is not yet
mature. It is best to link an
undesirable behaviour
(skipping class) to a short-
term consequence (a
ban on computer games)
rather than the long term
(we won’t pay for you to
go to university).
l Provide discipline and
structure, but be flexible.
Relax the rules when
maturity is exhibited, then
tighten up again when
you see backsliding.
l Beware of the power of
the peer group in this
developmental stage.
Discourage toxic friends.
l Let teenagers sleep in
whenever possible.
Mary Carskadon, a
professor of psychiatry
and human behaviour,
has found that
teenagers need more
than nine hours’ sleep a
night. They need this to
produce the hormones
necessary for growth.
 The sunday times
Giedd blames teen outbursts and risk-taking behaviour
on raging hormones and the relatively late development of
the prefrontal cortex, the decision-making part of the
brain. Frontal-brain immaturity, not bloody-mindedness, is
why teenagers reason, plan and make decisions so badly.
The teen brain has undergone a long period of synaptic
growth in which a multitude of new neural connections
were formed. This expansion, which began around the age
of six, reaches its highest density (or “bushiness”) for girls at
about 11, and for boys at about 12½. It creates a profusion
of “grey matter”, the raw material for learning.
The amount of grey matter produced, however, is way
beyond what can be used. So, between peak density and full
maturity at 25, excess grey matter is “pruned”. At the same
time,“white matter” (the myelin sheath that protects
brain-cell axons) continually thickens, increasing the
permanence and speed of brain-cell transmission. So, as we
lose brain capacity – and the relative ease with which we
once learnt new things – we gain brain efficiency.
During this expansion and pruning process, the more we
learn, the less grey matter dies off. And the more we practise
what we learn, the thicker our white matter grows. This
process begins in the rear of the brain (which connects us to
the world through the five senses), moves through the
middle part (that coordinates movement and sensation) and
reaches the prefrontal cortex, the executive, planning part
of the brain. Teenagers’ unpredictable emotionality has
everything to do with the fact that the brain’s
management function is the last to
go through the pruning process.
Add to this brain-
development process a
mountain of excess sex
hormones and higher
teen levels of the
Peer power Teenagers are
strongly influenced by friends
Did you know?
Marijuana use during adolescence may
increase the risk of heroin addiction in
later life. New research on rats shows that
exposure to the drug alters users’ brain chemistry,
reducing future sensitivity to opiates. According to a
recent survey, 20% of 16-year-olds in the US and
Europe had used cannabis the previous month.
neurotransmitter dopamine – associated with heightened
curiosity and risk-taking – and you have a potent mix.
Some teens do mature earlier than others, but many hurtle
towards adulthood like racing cars without brakes.
the older adult
Perhaps the greatest fear about growing older is that the
brain will falter. However, research suggests this isn’t the
experience of most older people, and that there is plenty
we can do to protect brain function in later life.
Conventional wisdom held that youth to old age was a
gradual downward journey during which we shed tens of
thousands of neurons a day. In old age, neuronal loss was
exposed in obvious mental decline.
Old assumptions are now being challenged. Some
researchers no longer link neuron loss to declining mental
abilities – except in diseases such as Alzheimer’s – and point
to changes in surviving cells. It is also known that rates of
brain-cell loss vary, and behaviour can affect the rate of loss.
healthy mind through adulthood and into old age

brain box: anti-ageing regime

Evolution theory Teenagers’ brains contain an
excess of grey matter; older people can
boost their brain power by continuing to learn
University of California, conducted a 10-year
study of 5,000 senior citizens, she found no
significant cognitive decline in 70% of the group.
Where there was deterioration, illness was a big
factor. The psychologist Keith Simonton points
out that creativity does not always diminish with
age: Edison, Monet and Titian did some of their
best work in their seventies and eighties.
The more we use our brains as we age, the
higher our performance level remains. Our ratio
of synapses to neurons will also stay high because
the used brain remains denser. A key element is
nerve-growth factor (NGF), a nutritional agent
that stimulates and supports growth of new
synapses as well as the myelin sheath. NGF is
released as a result of neural transmission itself –
by using our nervous system, we can grow it.
What if you learn all this after you have let life
– and mental activity – slip? Encouragingly, it’s
never too late to prevent or reverse cognitive
deterioration. Researchers Sherry Willis and
Warner Schaie have demonstrated that a
Excessive alcohol consumption, for example, renewed interested in learning in later life can
increases neuron destruction: the average boost mental performance even in people who
alcoholic loses 60,000 a day. Other factors that have already significantly declined.
accelerate neuron loss include chronic illness, Renee Solomon and Monte Peterson, two
extended grief, high blood pressure and the experts on older adults, suggest that flexibility
absence of a stimulating partner. and adaptability are critical dimensions of good
Ageing itself is not a big factor in brain- ageing. Optimism and humour are rated highly,
function deterioration. When Mary Haan, of the along with involvement with family and friends.
To prevent mental decline, try neurobics: a set
of exercises designed by the neurobiologist
Lawrence Katz to create new synapses and
rejuvenate old ones
1. Occasionally use your other hand to brush
your teeth.
2. Take a different route to a regular destination.
3. Try to pick the right coins out of your pocket
without looking.
4. If you aren’t an artist, try painting
a picture. If you are, try doing it
with your feet.
5. Master a new piece of technology
every now and then.
6. Try cooking and eating different
kinds of food.
7. Take up a new hobby.
Exercise has also been found to arrest and often
reverse mental degeneration. Neurologist Carl
Cotman, of the University of California, Irvine,
has discovered that aerobic exercise increases
neurotrophins, nerve-growth agents that act as
“fertilizer” for nerve cells.
The general advice is to remain mentally,
physically and socially active. Don’t get into a rut.
Indulge your curiosity and continue to work –
gainfully or otherwise – at something you enjoy
for as long as possible.
Finally, ignore the reports that claim mental
abilities decline in old age. They usually fail to
account for the degree of brain use, so non-users
bring down the scores of the users. The motto
for the later years is:“Use it or lose it!”

How old are you in your head?

You may be thinking
yourself into a premature
old age. Take our ‘think-
age’ quiz and discover
how to reverse the brain-
ageing process
1) Do you often mention your
age to friends or colleagues? (for instance, taking up a new
Yes No
2) Do you believe that you
are too old to change much?
Yes No
3) Do you sometimes give up
on mental tasks (such as
mental arithmetic) that you
used to be able to do?
Yes No
4) Do you rule yourself out of
certain situations or activities
activity or job) because of
your age?
Yes No
5) Do you often find yourself
thinking about your age?
Yes No
6) Do you complain about
your memory?
Yes No
7) Do you find yourself
groaning whenever you
bend down?
Yes No
8) Do you now catch yourself
stooping as you walk?
Yes No
9) Do you avoid buying
certain clothes that appeal
to you because they are
“too young”?
Yes No
10) Do you sometimes have
the feeling that all the new
and exciting experiences in
life are behind you, and that
the future is largely one of
familiar routine?
Yes No

Scoring
Determine your ‘think-age’
by awarding yourself one
point for each ‘yes’.
7-10: Your think-age score is
high. You believe you are
much older than you are
and reflect a – probably
unconscious – self-image of
yourself as someone who is
old, maybe even “past it”.
Assuming that you are not ill,
your behaviour pattern
consists of a set of habits that
is not necessarily linked to
your chronological age. You
need to spot them and then
get rid of them.
4-6: You have a reasonably
strong propensity to think old
and have a number of well-
embedded thinking patterns
and habits linked with the
age stereotype. You need to
identify these habits and continue to avoid picking up
exterminate them before habits and thinking patterns
they spread. linked to old-think in the
0-3: You tend to think young future. Sometimes a shock,
and have avoided picking up such as redundancy or a
much of the unnecessary child leaving home, can
baggage of “old-think”. It is drastically alter a person’s
important, however, that you way of thinking.
your brain: how to use it 
 3. Lessons in love: find the perfect lover, learn the difference between infatuation and commitment, test

My chemical romance
What happens to your brain when you fall in love – and
how does it help us in the search for an ideal partner?

F
alling for someone can be amazing and
awful, momentary or lifelong; it can
happen with one person or with many.
How can that be? Because love is not
just love, according to Helen Fisher, a leading
anthropologist. It can be subdivided into three
distinct entities: lust, romance and attachment.
Each is an independent state, but of course they
may link together to form a sequence – the
progression of love over time.
Different feelings are associated with each
stage: lust is an urge for sexual gratification with
no intention of permanence. Romance is the
elation of being in love, focusing on one person.
Attachment entails feelings of peace and security
that are usually held for a long-term partner.
For each stage, the brain has independent
systems of neurotransmitters and neural
networks. Behind that lustful one-night stand is
a lot of complicated chemistry. Lust is associated
with increased levels of testosterone in both men
and women. Once sexual release is found, desire
fades as quickly as testosterone levels plummet.
In the romance state, the brain becomes a
chemical maelstrom of dopamine, testosterone,
serotonin and other neurotransmitters. Levels of
dopamine soar in different parts of the brain,
including the region that forms the reward
network, associated with cravings and addiction.
Fisher states:“All of the major addictions
are associated with elevated levels of dopamine.
Is romantic love an addiction? Yes.”
The chemical melting-pot causes serotonin to
drop to low levels. Serotonin controls impulses,
passions, obsessive behaviour. A depletion of
serotonin can induce panic, anxiety, obsession:
it’s behind that familiar phrase:“I can’t stop
thinking about him/her all the time.”
Attachment is the state of love that’s in it for
the long haul. Vasopressin and oxytocin are
attachment’s key chemicals. How do you release
them? By having orgasms, say the scientists.
Levels of these chemicals are elevated during
sex and are especially high at orgasm – as well
as creating post-coital closeness. Meanwhile,
testosterone is typically kept at a minimum –
which means that true attachment comes with
decreased desire and less need for straying.
The brain remains capable of all three states,
even at once.“We are neurologically able to love
more than one person at a time,” says Fisher.“You
can feel profound attachment for a long-term
spouse, romantic passion for someone in the
office, or feel the sex drive as you watch a movie.”
But what factors initially attract us to a mate?
Before we notice anything else, our noses sniff
out potential compatibility. The female nose is
more sensitive to subliminal sex signals such as
pheromones, the airborne chemicals that men
and women send out to attract the opposite sex. Scientists, psychologists, anthropologists and
We also detect odours emitted by a potential sociologists have been investigating what makes
lover’s major histocompatibility complex men and women tick, with surprising results.
(MHC), a cluster of genes that encode various According to the psychologist Galdino Pranzarone,
aspects of the immune system. As human beings the qualities you think you find attractive aren’t
have evolved, we have learnt to find people with based on adult feelings. The image you hold of
immune systems unlike our own the most your ideal lover was established by the age of 10.
attractive – offspring have a better mix of genes, The psychologist David Buss asked more than
increasing the chances of survival. 10, 000 men and women from 33 countries

Have you got the empathy gene?

Empathy is the key to better 1 2 3
relationships. For each set of
eyes, read the words below and
choose one that best describes
what each person is feeling
Irritated Thoughtful Ashamed Confident Despondent Relieved
Encouraging Sympathetic Joking Dispirited Shy Excited
SCORING: Score one for each
correct answer (below, right). A 4 5 6
typical score is four or five. If you
scored six, you are accurate at
decoding facial expressions.
Less than four suggests that you Joking Flustered Aghast Baffled Dominant Friendly
have difficulty judging moods. Desire Convinced Distrustful Terrified Guilty Horrified

The ‘reading the mind in the eyes’ test was adapted from The Essential Difference by Simon Baron-Cohen (Penguin Press, £8.99). www.penguin.co.uk
ANSWERS: 1) Thoughtful 2) Confident 3) Despondent 4) Desire 5) Distrustful 6) Friendly

 The sunday times

your empathy levels and enjoy smarter relationships BRAINWAVES

Improve your love life and make your

relationships more intelligent
l Studies have shown is retiring, proud,
Heaven scent During an affair, the brain that ambition and conservative and
becomes a chemical maelstrom appearance are disciplined.
important factors in l Being intimate
choosing a partner, isn’t just about being
and that humans will physically close –
exaggerate their even getting into
earning potential and bed at the same
looks. If a new partner time as each other
is important to you, is an aspect of
talk to them to intimacy. Nonsexual
confirm whether his intimacy, such as
or her levels of romantic walks,
ambition or talking about
appearance are important issues
authentic, or whether and spending time
they are a soon-to-be- together is equally
abandoned as important.
enticement.
l Communication
is key to any
relationship. As a
general rule, men
communicate
more naturally
when they are
physically “doing”
something, such as
walking, gardening, l Remember that
exercising or cooking despite what you
dinner. Many men are read, there is no
uncomfortable just such thing as
across six continents what they looked for in a relationship. Perrett called this a mixed-mating sitting down and “normal” when it
partner. He found that both men and women strategy: the masculine face represents good talking intimately, so comes to the
ranked intelligence and kindness most highly, genes (important for procreation), while the to increase a man’s frequency couples
but men preferred women who were physically feminine face reflects the wish for a man who comfort level, have sex. Normal is
beautiful over women with a high earning will help with child-raising. accompany your whatever works for
potential, whereas women rated good earning But beware: research shows that men tend to intimate chat with a both of you. There’s
capacity over physical attractiveness. exaggerate their earning potential and women physical activity. also no “normal”
Scientists have proved that we associate beauty their beauty during courtship – you’ll need to l Opposites attract in when it comes to
with symmetry, which is linked to survival outsmart your own brain to find the right mate. the short term, but if other matters of the
advantages. Symmetrical men and women have you want to make it in heart – try not to
better immune responses, and women have the long run, similar compare your
more orgasms and retain more sperm with a personalities work relationship too
symmetrical partner. Symmetrical men begin best. If you are much to others
having sex on average four years earlier, have outgoing, liberal, around you. Instead,
more partners and more extramarital affairs. Did you know? humble and look at yourself and
Men are also influenced by their perception of Nature seems to have built a spontaneous, resist a work from within the
a woman’s waist-to-hip ratio – with 70% as ideal. romantic preference for strangers long-term relationship relationship if things
This “curve” – a 28in waist paired with 40in hips, into us. Studies show that when children with someone who are going wrong.
BOTTOM RIGHT: CORBIS. ILLUSTRATION: JEREMY TIMINGS

for example – is associated with a woman being live together, physiological changes occur
more likely to have babies, finding it easier to get between the ages of 3 and 6 to minimise
pregnant, having fewer miscarriages and even the chance that they will become
suffering fewer personality disorders. Women are romantically involved in later life.
influenced by what stage of their cycle they’re at.
The psychologist Dr David Perrett asked 65
British women to use a computer program to
design their ideal man’s face, both for the short
term and the long term. They preferred a
masculine face for their short-term “fling”, but
decidedly more feminine faces for a long-term
your brain: how to use it 
 4. Sex on the brain: build your sexual profile, learn how to enjoy a fulfilling love life and discover what

MAKE A CLEAN BREAST OF YOUR

Recent research offers revealing
insights into our sexual proclivities

R
emember those school biology books? The ones full
of terrifying diagrams of male and female genitalia
that presented sex as a mere bodily function?
Research is now switching its focus on sex from the
body to the brain. Everything from the orgasm to jealousy
to tendencies for particular sexual practices is now seen in a
cerebral or psychological context.

SEXUAL FANTASIES
About 95% of adults have sexual fantasies – and people
who enjoy more active sex lives tend to have more
fantasies, according to the psychologists Harold Leitenberg
and Kris Henning, of the University of Vermont. Their
studies also show that the average daily number of sexual
fantasies for men is seven, five of which are prompted by
circumstantial events (for example, the appearance of an
attractive woman) and the two others arising spontaneously.
Women have an average of five sexual fantasies a day: three
from external cues and two from within.
Men are more likely to fantasise about having multiple
sexual partners, with an average of 1.96 partners per fantasy
– surely a statistic worth collecting. Women have an
average of 1.08 partners per fantasy.

SEX AND PERSONALITY

A variety of sexual behaviours have been associated with
personality traits such as neuroticism and extroversion (see
part one of this guide for more on the Big Five traits).
According to the psychologist GD Wilson, men who are
low in neuroticism tend to report fewer sexual urges, while
similar females reported more orgasms during sex. Both
men and women are less nervous, less easily excited
sexually and less guilty concerning sex. Typically, there is
more petting, more sexual intercourse and more oral sex
involved in their relationships.
Those who are high in neuroticism tend to be more
nervous, more easily excited sexually and more guilty
Fancy that Men have
seven sexual fantasies
concerning sex. They are less likely to engage in petting, a day – five are prompted
and have sexual intercourse and oral sex less often. Men in by circumstantial events
this category also report having more sexual urges, with
more frequent erections and more masturbation, while
women report fewer orgasms during sex.
Those with personalities classified as low on extroversion
(introverts) tend to be less satisfied with sex, have less oral
sex and foreplay, and fewer sexual partners over time. They

brain box: SEXUAL CHEMISTRY

When sexual thoughts enter your head, they flood your
body with a mind-blowing cocktail of chemicals
Oestrogen creates desire in women (and possibly men)
by triggering dopamine release.
Dopamine causes the individual to fantasise and consider
the possibilities latent in a sexual situation.
Serotonin – too much of this hormone before a sexual
encounter can suppress sexual arousal, but increased
levels at orgasm lead to highly pleasurable sensations.
Nitric oxide (NO) increases blood flow and vessel dilation.
Required for maintaining an erection.
TOP: KOBAL. RIGHT: Getty
?
Epinephrine and norepinephrine both cause the heart to
beat faster, and enhance the effects of NO and VIP.
Phenylethylamine (PEA) is associated with feelings of
attraction, romance and wellbeing. Also found in
chocolate, levels increase during orgasm, ovulation and
after exercise.
Alpha-melanocyte polypeptide (AMP) is associated with
the beginning of an erection and the heightening of a
male’s interest in sex.
Oxytocin makes pelvic contractions possible during the
female orgasm, contributes to bonding and is often

Vasoactive intestinal polypeptide (VIP) has effects similar referred to as the “trust” hormone.

?
to nitric oxide. Testosterone creates desire in both men and women. Low
Pheromones are odourless, armpit-produced chemicals testosterone levels are associated in both sexes with
that elicit unconscious sexual desire. minimisation or absence of sexual desire.

10 The sunday times

your most intimate desires say about you

SEX LIFE BRAINWAVES

Use your mind to

improve your sex life
Did you know? l Avoid going out for a
For centuries, the need for female big, boozy, pre-sex
satisfaction during sex was discounted. In dinner. This may seem
the 19th and early 20th centuries, sexually perfect for lowering
frustrated women were branded “hysterics”. inhibitions but alcohol,
Doctors would prescribe an external massage of the too much food and even
clitoris, usually administered by a nurse or midwife – sleep deprivation dull the
a practice dropped in the mid-20th century. senses and flatten the
sexual experience.
Mental preoccupation or
drugs can do the same.
l Some people find it
hard to reach orgasm
when there are
she falls pregnant, he has no way of knowing if the child is distractions (anything
his. He does not want to waste resources on offspring that from traffic sounds to
do not carry his genes. Jealousy in women is triggered by beard stubble), so think
suspicion of emotional betrayal. Women fear that their ahead and eradicate the
children’s survival might be threatened if a male diverts chance of irritations
resources to another woman and her children. before you get started.
l Feeling stressed can
ORGASM take the joy from sex and
Orgasms aren’t just about bodily activity – research is prevent orgasm. De-stress
proving that a lot goes on in the brain too. You may wonder before sex by taking a
how they recruit for this kind of experiment, but Gert long relaxing bath,
Holstege, of the University of Groningen in the exercising or sleeping.
Netherlands, recently found 13 heterosexual women and Do whatever it takes to
their partners prepared to have their brains scanned while clear the mind.
they indulged in sexual activity. l Okay, we are British but
The women lay with their heads inside a PET scanner do at least try to talk
while the team compared their brain activity in four openly about sex with
different states: resting, faking an orgasm, having their your partner. Talking in
are less comfortable with physical closeness and pursue clitoris manually stimulated by their partner and then an honest, accepting,
intimacy far less. Men and women in the high-extroversion stimulation to the point of orgasm. As the women were considerate and
category are, inversely, more satisfied with sex, have more stimulated, activity rose in the part of the cortex inquiring way will help
oral sex and foreplay, and more sexual partners over time. associated with sensation, but it dipped in the amygdala both of you have a more
They tend to be more comfortable with physical closeness and hippocampus – areas that are both involved in satisfying sex life.
and to look for intimacy. emotion, alertness and anxiety. Contrary to everything l Ultimately, successful
that has been said about women and their emotional relationships are about
SEXUAL JEALOUSY investment in sex, Holstege claims that they are interdependence, but
Jealousy is different for men and women: men typically emotionless at the point of orgasm. whatever turns you on
become jealous if a woman physically strays; women if a When women reach orgasm, the scientists also found might do exactly the
man is emotionally unfaithful. Men and women also know that activity falls in many other parts of the brain. Their opposite for your partner.
what buttons to push when it comes to triggering jealousy findings support the belief that women need to feel relaxed Be open about what you
in each other. A woman feels insecure and jealous of other and worry-free to climax. like and be prepared to
women if her partner seems not to desire her. If the man The brain-scan findings are backed by evolutionary adjust your behaviour.
makes it more obvious that he finds her desirable, her psychology, which would argue that the brain switches off Take turns to make each
jealousy of other women may fade. Women can make men the emotions during sex because the overriding imperative other happy.
jealous by making them feel inadequate as “providers”, and at that point is reproduction. l Variety is the spice of
can dampen jealousy by showing that they regard their Female fakers may fool men – but they can’t fool brain life – if things are getting
partners as indispensable. scanners. Holstege’s study found that when women fake, it a bit routine in the
Recently, evolutionary psychologists have proposed that is the part of the brain involved in controlling conscious bedroom, try something
jealousy is a specific innate module, a circuit in the brain movement that lights up. In addition, faking does not new. Take into account
that reflects the different survivalist pressures on our male produce extreme deactivation in other parts of the brain. that men prefer brighter
and female ancestors. Men, it’s claimed, typically become The research team has tried to conduct a similar study of light than women. Men
jealous when they suspect sexual competition. As female men’s brains during orgasm. They have, however, a may spoil a romantic
ovulation can’t be observed,a man tends to become especially problem: the PET scanners measure activity over two ambience if they flood
jealous if his woman has sex with another man because – minutes. While that easily captures women’s slow build-up, the bedroom with light.
regardless of the seriousness or length of the attraction – if for men it is all over far more quickly than that.
your brain: how to use it 11
 5. In the brain scientist’s lab: finding the speech centre; personality tests and dreams

Dumbstruck
The hub of our verbal abilities
was found by dissecting the
brain of a 19th-century epileptic

T
he brain’s speech centre was
discovered in a man who could hardly
talk. Mr Leborgne was a hat-form
maker who lived in France in the mid-
19th century. At the age of 30, he suddenly lost
the power of speech. From then on, he could only
say a few swear words and the syllable “tan”.
Leborgne was admitted to the Bicêtre Hospital,
where he was nicknamed “Tan” because of his
bizarre affliction. Leborgne, who also suffered
from epilepsy, joined in conversations and
appeared to understand what was said, but was
able to reply only by saying “tan” and
gesticulating vigorously with his arms. He was
unpopular with fellow patients, who accused him
of egotism, vindictiveness and even thieving.
Leborgne’s condition deteriorated over the
next two decades. Paralysis spread through the Broca asked
right side of his body. His leg dragged until he was Leborgne maths Piece of mind Crucial
unable to walk and he was confined to bed for questions, he discoveries have been
the last seven years of his life. Hospital conditions answered by made by examining
were poor, and by the time nurses noticed that gesticulating and human brains after death
he had gangrene, it had spread to the top of his blinking, using the left
leg. On April 11, 1861, he was taken to the ward side of his body. He knew he
of the neurosurgeon and pathologist Paul Broca. had been in hospital for 21 years essential component of the motor mechanisms
Broca had attended a lecture on the possibility and would flash the correct number of fingers. that govern articulated speech. Patients with
of the brain having a “language centre”. He After Leborgne’s death a few days later, Broca damage to this area are diagnosed with
wondered if this patient, who seemed able to examined his brain and found a cavity the size of “Broca’s aphasia”, which is often the cause of
understand questions but unable to articulate a chicken’s egg in the left frontal region. Broca speech impairments.
responses, could shed any light on this. When hypothesised that injury to this area, possibly The discovery of Broca’s area revolutionised
caused by neurosyphilis, had affected the understanding of speech production. New
Leborgne’s ability to speak. As the damage research suggests that impairment in Broca’s
spread it also caused paralysis. Broca had found area may lead to other speech disorders,
a link between a specific region of the brain such as stuttering. Recent neuroimages of the
and a particular function for the first time. brain have shown that a part of Broca’s area
MIND BENDER FROM THE PSYCHOBOX, REDSTONE PRESS, 2004. TOP: KOBAL. BOTTOM RIGHT: AQUARIUS

The identified region became known as known as the pars opercularis is anatomically
“Broca’s area” and is understood to be an smaller in individuals who stutter.

mind bender
Swiss psychiatrist Hermann Rorschach (1884-1922)
devised this test to gain insight into his patients’
minds. He analysed what they “saw” in the blots:
such as humans, animals, landscapes, colours
and spaces. Although it is still in use, the test has
been criticised as subjective and unreliable.
Afterthought: Dreaming
The meaning of dreams has fascinated us for chaotic because
centuries – from Ancient Greeks and Egyptians the frontal area,
who believed that dreams were messages from used for planning
gods, to Freud’s interpretation in psychoanalysis. and reasoning, is
It is known that dreaming happens during Rapid switched off during
Eye Movement (REM) sleep. During REM, the sleep. If you suffer
nervous system does not send or receive from unpleasant
sensory signals due to a change in the balance dreams, try the following:
of neurotransmitters in the brain. One n Recall your most recent nightmare in detail.
neurotransmitter, acetylcholine, increases in the n Alter a significant detail in the nightmare
brain stem and creates a flood of memories (change a tiger to a cat, a knife to a feather).
and perceptions. Dreaming occurs when the n Play through the complete nightmare,
brain tries to make sense of these images firing substituting this new detail throughout.
off in various areas of the brain. Dreams seem n Continue this until the nightmare stops.

12 The sunday times