Getting Facts on Record at Shore Memorial Hospital

In my business, I must have things on record, says Cathy Trimble, Wellness Center
coordinator at Shore Memorial Hospital. This is a large bureaucracy, and I work
with many people in many departments. People sometimes forget telephone
conversations or remember selectively. When my boss says, Hey, the head of that
department claims she knows nothing about the health fair you are coordinating, I
want to have a record of what really happened. Its a great feeling to be able to
respond, But heres a copy of the memo I sent to her three weeks ago describing
the fair.
Shore Memorial Hospital, with over 1,500 employees, serves residents and
tourists visiting the Ocean City and Atlantic City, New Jersey, area. As Wellness
coordinator, Trimble organizes preventive health programs such as community
health fairs and workshops on stress management, blood pressure control, and
weight management. The hospital also offers services in corporate settings, where it
conducts health risk assessments for employees of large companies.
Whether shes organizing a kids health fair at a local mall or developing an
executive health assessment program at Harrahs Hotel Casino in Atlantic City,
Trimble is immersed in hundreds of scheduling and organizing details. In the
Harrahs program, for example, she is responsible for setting up vision, hearing,
blood, urine, blood pressure, body fat, and flexibility screenings. She also schedules
all the hospital professionals needed to conduct these screenings and the follow-up
consultations.
An important form of communication that aids Trimble in scheduling and
organizing the many details of her job is the memo, whether it is printed or an
electronic message. I must have a record of decisions and procedures. Its not
enough to call someone on the phone and make arrangements; sending a
confirmation memo verifies the details and keeps the record straight. Because she
cares about the effectiveness of her memos, Trimble pays attention to her writing.
Shes learned to avoid the mystery story approach, which forces readers to plow
through six or seven paragraphs before they understand why the memo was
written.
At Shore Memorial Hospital, Wellness Center director Cathy Trimble writes
many memos and e-mail messages to direct employees and to monitor projects.
Her pet peeve involves mystery memos that she sometimes receives. They
conceal their purpose until well into the message. To avoid falling into this trap
herself, she concentrates major points in the first paragraph. She also aims for a
high scan factor. This means using bullets, numbered lists, and columns to make
main points stand out. People shouldnt have to read through four or five
paragraphs to figure out, for example, what they need to bring to where theyre

going. Bulleted and numbered items are great for fast reading and also for quick
reference, when you want to look back over a document and refresh your memory.
Even though most of her messages are internal, Trimble takes the time to
compose carefully. She has good advice for beginning writers. Before you do any
writing on the job, try to get sample documents from the files. You can then see how
formal an organizations writing style is, and you can learn about formats. Look for a
good communicator whose messages you admire, and study that persons style. You
should also try to persuade a fellow worker to read your messages critically before
you send them.
Critical Thinking

How is the writing process or organizational strategy for memos different

from that for letters?
Can writers of e-mail messages be more casual than those who write letters
or hard-copy memos?
What are the pros and cons of adopting the writing style of a colleague who is
a good communicator?

Applying your Skills at Shore Memorial Hospital

One of Cathy Trimbles jobs is making sure that Shore Memorials webmaster
receives updated information on various Wellness Center events. She asks you, her
assistant, to transform the following jumble of information into a proper memo.
One new event for the Calendar of Events at the hospital Web site is a stopsmoking program sponsored by Smokeless. A free orientation is given on the first
day. This national program is hospital-based and will be offered by Maria Spear. She
is a certified Smokeless instructor. $120. Starts September 22 and meets eight
times. 7 to 9 p.m. Scheduled for the SMH Rainbow Room.
Another new program is a workshop offered by Joanne Phillips, R.N., and Kim
Cipkins in the SMH Jenkins Room. One is a cardiac educator/nurse and the other is a
registered dietitian. High blood cholesterol and dietary interventions will be
discussed. Fee: $5. 7 to 10 p.m. This workshop is called Eat to Your Hearts
Content. Dietary fats, interpreting food labels, and the modification or recipes will
be discussed. Just one night, October 2.
The final new program doesnt have a name yet. Trimble wants you to think
of one. Its aimed at divorced people the legal, social, and financial aspects of
being a single parent. This first session focuses on finances. Five sessions are
planned. Colleen Kelly, RIA, will conduct the workshop, which costs $5 per night. 7
to 9 p.m. September 20. Meet in Conference Center.
Your job

For Cathy Trimbles signature, in teams or individually, prepare a memo to

webmaster Kevin von Gillern. Describe the three new programs for the fall Calendar
of Events. Decide whether to sequence the information in paragraph form or some
other format. To prevent errors, Trimble wants the webmaster to send her a printout
of the listings before they are posted. Set an end date and give a reason. If any
information is missing, supply it.