Foreword

Raising children properly has to be one of the most daunting

tasks for any parent in todays world and more so for parents
who want to raise their children as good role models in a world
where its very hard to keep your identity as a Muslim. Despite the
enormity of this job, the number of resources designed to help
parents with this task seem few and far between
So when I read 7 Steps To Raising Righteous Kids, I was very
pleasantly surprised to see so many practical and useful tips to
help parents feel more confident in raising their kids the right way
and in a manner pleasing to Allah SWT InshaAllah.
We often think that people outside of our homes are the ones
to rob our children of their innocence but little do we realize
that the greatest thief actually lives INSIDE our homes in the
form of media. This is why the research and advice given for
parents regarding social influence and the media in particular
was eye-opening and on-point. Its something that EVERY parent
absolutely NEEDS to be aware of if they want to protect their kids
from the dangers of the outside world.
In short, 7 Steps To Raising Righteous Kids is a practical and
well-thought out report on helping parents and educators guide
their children to success in the dunya AND the akhirah. I highly
recommend it for everyone who wants to raise children who are
productive, hardworking and pious.
-Sheikh Alaa ElSayed

1.

Introduction
Asalamalaikum!
Were honoured to have you as part of our community! Teaching children to be righteous
and getting the balance right between deen and dunya is one of the most challenging
aspects of raising children.
Thats why weve created 7 Steps To Raising Righteous Kids. We believe wholeheartedly
that raising children begins with nurturing their soul.
This 7 Step guide is designed to give you the tools to confidently raise children who have
the spiritual and emotional intelligence to deal with everything life throws at them.
Giving children the right tarbiya is the right of children over their parents as stated in the
hadith:
It was narrated from Abd-Allaah RA, that the Messenger of Allah SAW said: Each of you is
a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The ruler who is in charge of people is a shepherd
and is responsible for them. The man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for
them. The woman is the shepherd of her husbands house and child and is responsible for
them. The slave is the shepherd of his masters wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is
a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.
[Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2416; Muslim, 1829]
The Quran is abundant with examples of the parent and child relationship and how the
Prophets of old raised their families to believe in Allah SWT and become the best people to
walk the face of this Earth.
In this short guide, we hope to inspire you to raise your kids with love, compassion,
firmness, discipline and above all to raise them knowing youve given them the best start in
life.
No matter what your background (parent, guardian, educator), youll be able to take the
principles in this guide and apply them to the children in your care.
Weve designed this guide to be practical and easy to. Well also be sending you more tips
to help you via email so make sure you look out for those InshaAllah.
To your success!
Muslim Kids TV

www.muslimkids.tv

2.

Step 1:
It starts with you
The first step in raising righteous
children doesn t actually start with
your kids at all In fact, it starts

with YOU!

Children do as they see so if you are highly stressed,

irritable and angry all the time, then chances are your kids
will be too!
Are your kids simply a watered down version of YOU?
Not long ago, I met a brother who ran an Islamic after school
club. He had a boy disobedient to his parents. Out of
desperation, his parents thought that putting their son in an
Islamic environment would miraculously turn him pious. It
didnt happen. In fact, it only served to confuse and frustrate
the poor boy!
His parents complained to the clubs owner that their sons
behaviour had gone worse. When they were confronted with
simple questions such as do you pray in your home?, the
parents came to the uncomfortable realization that it was
their own indifference to Allah SWT that had caused their son
to be indifferent to them.
Parents who condemn their children will raise children who
are critical and unkind to others. Those who show no respect
to one another will raise children who lack respect for others.

3.

If you want to raise righteous kids,

heres our golden rules for being the
best parent you can be:
Model good behaviour in front of your children at all times
Be extra careful of the values you instil in your children indirectly. Eg., if the
phone rings and you tell your child to answer it and say you are not home, youre
actually teaching your child that its OK to tell lies
Take the time daily to connect with
your child. Ask your child about
their day and the things that matter
to them. The Prophet SAW was
always in the habit of doing this with
children so they would feel important
and is one of the reasons why
children loved him SAW so much

Allah will not

be merciful with the one
who is not merciful to
others.
[Al-Bukhaari]

Praise your children when they have

done something good and help them
feel happy about their achievements
Abu Hurayrah RA said: The Prophet SAW kissed Al-Hasan once while Al-Aqra
Ibn Haabis was sitting with him, so Al-Aqra said to the Prophet SAW: `I have ten
children; never did I kiss any of them.` The Prophet SAW therefore looked at him
and said: Allaah will not be merciful with the one who is not merciful to others.
[Al-Bukhaari]
-If you have stressful circumstances, then focus on using salah to connect with
Allah SWT. This shows children that salah is a powerful weapon in dealing with
stress
-Focus on being a good Muslim as much as possible so your children can see first
hand what being a good Muslim is all about

www.muslimkids.tv

4.

The Virtue of Dua!

Make a lot of dua! As parents,
you need ALL the helps you can
get! So arm yourself with the
best of duas for your family:

1)

The dua of Ibraheem AS:

Rabbi hab lee minassaaliheen

Translation:
My Lord ! grant me (offspring) from the righteous'

(Surah As-Saffaat, V100)

2)

Rabbana hab lana min azwaajinaa wa zurriyyaatina

qurrata aAAyunin wajAAalnaa lilmuttaqeena imaamaa

Translation:
O our Lord! grant us in our wives and our offspring the joy of our eyes and
make us guides to those who guard (against evil)
(Surah AL-Furqan ,V74)

3)

Rabbi ijAAalnee muqeemas salati wamin

zurriyyatee rabbana wtaqabbal duAAa

Translation:
O my Lord ! Make me one who establishes regular prayer and
(also) from my offspring , our Lord, accept my invocation
(Surah Ibrahim ,v40)

5.

Step 2:
Positive Discipline
Positive discipline means focusing
on TE ACHI NG kids through
learning opportunities when they
do something wrong.
We must actively look for ways to teach our children with love and understanding
so were encouraging MORE of the good behaviour.

Heres our top strategies to

enforce positive discipline in
your home:
Be an empathic parent when disciplining your child this means trying to
understand why your child is behaving badly and taking appropriate action when
YOU are in a calm state
Anger is almost always you wanting to control your child whilst simultaneously
failing to control yourself so never yell or get mad

www.muslimkids.tv

6.

If you feel angry and have the

urge to yell, say Aouthobillahi
minash-shaytaani rajeem and give
yourself a time out until you calm
down
Always connect before you correct
this means showing your child
you love them and disciplining
them with love
Always focus on the behaviour
and not the person. Never make
your child feel low by telling them
they are stupid or silly, but instead,
focus on the behaviour of the child
being inappropriate

The Prophet SAW

never reprimanded
a child or belittled them
in anyway. He SAW
never hit a child, never
yelled and ALWAYS
spoke to children with
love and compassion

Never punish by spanking this only teaches kids that violence is a means to
an end. Rather, remove privileges such as removing play time or their favourite
activity and explain to them WHY they cant do it. This way, kids associate
that good behaviour means they can have fun, and bad behaviour means they
cant!
Specifically point out which behaviour you want your child to stop and tell
them WHY they need to stop so they understand the deeper reasons behind
your request
N

NO
EXCUSES!
__________
7.

Step 3:
Cultivating Tarbiya
Tarbiyah refers to the general
upbringing and education of a child
and the manners and behaviour
they do which are pleasing to Allah
SWT.
The idea here is to raise children who have an awareness of Allah SWT in all of
their actions. In essence, your aim is to help your children build taqwa. Contrary to

Taqwa, when
coupled with
imaan makes for
a well-rounded
believer.

popular belief, Taqwa doesnt mean to fear Allah.

Taqwa is the idea that you should always guard
yourself against any behaviour which would earn
the displeasure of Allah SWT.

Taqwa, when coupled with imaan makes for a wellrounded believer. You simply cannot have taqwa
without imaan (faith in Allah). So how can you
cultivate this in your children?

Sometimes the best place to start is often the

simplest. Ensure you are adhering to the basic rules
of Islam. This starts with following the five pillars
of Islam and staying away from haram and actively
pursuing goodness. If your children see you making
an effort in pleasing Allah SWT, they too will aspire to that. If they see you keeping
away from haram, they too will do that.

www.muslimkids.tv

8.

So here are our top strategies

to help instill tarbiya in your
children:
Share stories from the life of the Prophet SAW who is the best ever example of a perfect
character in human history. Ask your children questions and get their minds engaged when
telling stories. Help them understand the morals and the reasons behind the story
Make family salah time a priority. This helps establish the second pillar of Islam while giving
children a sense of unity with the family
Teach your children halal and haram and openly remind everyone in the family. Dont lay
down the law, rather, explain and guide with love and understanding. If you explain to
a child rather than shout or bark orders, you help them understand why we should or
shouldnt do certain things
Always focus on attaining the pleasure of Allah SWT rather than focusing on punishment.
Focusing on the negative may only serve to push children away from the remembrance of
Allah
Good tarbiya starts from birth! Listen to beautiful recitations of the Quran daily, encourage
children to make dua when it rains or when they are sick etc
One of the best gifts you can ever give your child is teaching them the salah. Begin by
teaching them the Fatiha so that every time they recite it, you ALSO earn a reward
Encourage children to be responsible from a young age by allowing them to have a pet such
as a cat. Kids learn responsibility, kindness and caring towards Allahs creatures and it builds
compassion in them
Get your kids involved in a charitable cause encourage them to save for charity and help in
fund raising events by giving so they learn the meaning of sharing, caring and helping others
Teach your children to remember Allah SWT in the morning and the evening, when
something good happens and when something bad happens. Teaching them awareness of
Allah at a young age is going to go a LONG way in helping them build taqwa

Of course, there are many, many things you can do to help a child gain the correct tarbiya
but dont be discouraged if it takes longer than you expected to see results. All learning
processes require a LOT of practice so keep at it and keep making dua for your kids!

9.

Step 4:
Enrichment
Enrichment is the idea of supporting
the development of a childs
brain with appropriate learning
experiences such as play and
educational activities.
This is an area thats actively pushed by child psychologists as being essential to the growth
and development of a child.
From an Islamic perspective, enrichment can be done in SO many ways. We have a beautifully
rich history full of examples from the Prophet SAW and the other Prophets of how they taught
their children.
A key area of enrichment is using the appropriate tools and materials to support daily learning.
UC Berkeley brain researcher Marian Diamond and author of "Magic Trees of the Mind: How
to Nurture Your Child's Intelligence, Creativity, and Healthy Emotions from Birth through
Adolescence" says that enrichment is essential in developing children's intelligence and
creativity.

Marian says that "If you provide early enrichment

while the brain is growing rapidly you can get larger
In other words, if you want to instil the right behaviour and the right mindset in your kids, then
you have to start as early as possible and do as much as possible to help them.

www.muslimkids.tv

10.

Childrens brains before they hit their teenage years are considered to be
whats known as plastic which means they are easily mouldable and very
easily influenced.
A child who has had a good variety of enrichment experiences
will blossom in their intelligence and a child given the right Islamic
enrichment will by Allahs will, lead to a more righteous child.
So how do we ensure that kids achieve the right kind of enrichment?

Heres our
top tips:
Use stories of the Prophets to support the development of morality
Use the environment around you to nurture a mind which is both curious and in awe of
Allah SWT go outside and teach your children about the weather, the seasons, the oceans,
animals, trees etc., so they learn to be grateful to Allah and to ponder Allahs existence
Find a good Islamic club or madrassa that has a mix of both deen and dunya so they see
religion as something that can improve their lives
Psychologists have found a positive correlation between children who excel in sport and
those who excel in every area of their life so get kids into sports!
Feed a curious mind with fun activities! Children learn through play, so make sure you have
the right materials to help support their mental, emotional and spiritual growth

Enrichment isnt JUST about what to GIVE your child to encourage their potential and their
growth.
Enrichment is ALSO about knowing what NOT to do to damage young, fragile minds that are easily
impressionable.
Dont allow your kids to have too much free time. There is a saying that an empty mind is the house
of Shaytaan. This is so true! Getting kids involved in activities instead of letting them veg out in front
of the TV or listening to music is going to raise kids who are motivated and hard-working, rather than
kids who are lazy and indifferent.
Limit childrens screen time and ensure that the screen time they have is appropriate. Provide your
children with Islamic games, videos and interactive media that are fun and support your childs
development. Well talk more about this in Step 7.

11.

Step 5:
The Islamic Home
The Islamic home is creating the
right environment in the home which
gears kids for success in both the
dunya and the akhirah.
Much of this comes back to YOU and your spouse and the processes you put in
place to ensure your family is unified for success.

Heres our top tips to ensure

you have a home that is
conducive to learning and the
love of Allah SWT:
A family that prays and plays together will STAY together! Teach your kids that
Salah is the crux of your religion and that if they dont have salah, how can they
possibly talk to Allah!
Have an iqamah time which is fixed for each salah, and if possible, have your
children take turns to call the Iqamah

www.muslimkids.tv

12.

Send boys to the mosque with their fathers as much

as possible this is ESSENTIAL, because you are
raising tomorrows leaders!
Raise your kids to respect others and help around
the home. Give them chores to do to help build
their independence and to help them realise they
are part of a team
Teach your kids to make dua often. When its
raining, when they are sick or travelling, these and
other times were mentioned by the Prophet SAS as
the best times to make dua
Family charity projects teach compassion and giving
for others
Family time means put your phone/laptop away and giving each other full
attention!
Make a point of attending Islamic talks together as a family. Start your kids
early and encourage learning in them from an early age
Turn Islamic calendar events into a family affair so during Ramadan ensure
that even the youngest kids can get involved by doing dhikr, joining salah,
doing extra good deeds etc.
Allocate a day in the week to complete family time. Give time to your kids
An Islamic home takes consistency, dedication and most of all practise on a daily
basis to ensure the right values and ideals are being taught.

13.

Step 6: Getting
The Balance Right
Getting the balance right between
deen and dunya is essential in
ensuring your kids are primed for
success and ready to take on the
world.
Parents fear that their children will get lost in the world and
abandon morality and deen.
There is also the fear that without correct religious
knowledge, children may fall victim to religious bigotry and
extremism.
Islam has always taught the middle road with the focus on
living a balanced moral and religious life. Let your kids have
fun within reason. Allow your kids downtime to chill out and
relax.
Never allow your kids to sacrifice their values though for
some worldly gain, because this is when problems occur.
One of the best way to get the balance right is to help your
kids have ambition that is geared towards a cause.
So if you want your kids to be wealthy, teach them that
their wealth cant be to fund an excessive lifestyle, rather, it
should be used to benefit mankind. This will ensure your kids
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14.

Its essential to control how your

children spend their free time.
Never allow young children to dictate to you what they want to do rather, structure
their day and fill it with activities that include learning, deen and sports or other activities
they enjoy.
Arrange play dates with your childs friends! This is a great way to encourage social
interaction whilst simultaneously keeping an eye on who their friends are.
Its great to give kids a goal to work towards such as wanting to be a teacher, a dentist
etc. and then encouraging them to always keep the end in mind. However, if you are
overly harsh and overbearing, youll do nothing but suffocate your childs development
and suppress their natural talents and gifts.
Sheikh Alaa ElSayed gives a brilliant piece of advice on raising kids he says that kids
should be raised with love and taught to love Allah, and that our job as parents is to
teach them right from wrong. However, its Allahs job to guide. We cant force guidance
on anyone.
This is a beautiful piece of advice that is missing in so many homes. Do your best and
make a lot of dua that Allah SWT guides your kids to success in the dunya and the akhirah
- ameen!
Liberate your children from the shackles of Shaytaan and teach them to be the slaves of
Allah and not society. When you place your focus on pleasing people, you will always be
disappointed. When you focus on pleasing Allah, you will always be happy.
Finally, teach your kid the importance of istighfar repentance to Allah SWT. Every single
child, no matter how righteous they are, will at some need Allahs forgiveness. If you
teach your kids to turn in repentance to Allah SWT and ensure they understand that Allah
SWT is Most Merciful, they will always feel they have a way back to Allah. Those who are
not taught this can easily fall under the trap of turning away from Allah completely.

15.

Step 7:
Social influence
Social influence is one of the most important aspects of
raising righteous kids. This means ensuring children have
the right friends and influences. It also means controlled
screen time, use of social media and the Internet.
Teach your kids how to make good choices with friends and get to know who their friends are. Keep an
open line of communication with your kids so they feel comfortable sharing issues with you.
Social media such as Facebook and Snapchat are dangerous ground for young minds. These
environments allow bad behaviours to develop easily because of a perceived lack of consequences
allowing bullies and people that prey on others.
The basic advice is children under the age of 16 should not to be on ANY social media platforms.
Children must be taught how to use media. IT IS A LEARNED BEHAVIOUR and you cannot expect your
children to navigate dangerous environments on their own. That may be harsh, but in a world where
identities can be cloaked very easily, its just not worth taking the risk.

Here are some great tips:

Always makes sure your computer/tablet/laptop etc. are password protected and only allow
your kids monitored and timed access
Limit their exposure to less than an hour a day and encourage them to get fresh air and exercise
or read a book instead
Ensure you use parent controls to block inappropriate content
Preview video games and limit the use to no more than an hour
Reserve media time for rainy days or as a treat when kids have done their homework and their
chores

www.muslimkids.tv

16.

One of the single biggest impacts on a childs behaviour outside of the immediate
family is media.

The Media Education Foundation

published research specifically
on media and violence. Heres a
summary of their key findings:
Violence in media content has not just increased in quantity; it has also become more graphic,
sexual, and sadistic
A September 2000 Federal Trade Commission (FTC) report showed that 80 percent of R
rated movies, 70 percent of restricted video games, and 100 percent of music with explicit
content warning labels were being marketed to children under 17
By the time the average child is eighteen years old, they will have witnessed 200,000 acts of
violence and 16,000 murders
Media violence is especially damaging to young children (under 8) because they cannot easily
distinguish real life and fantasy
Two-thirds of Hollywood films released in 2001 were rated R.
Most of the top-selling video games (89%) contained violent content
The level of violence during Saturday morning cartoons is higher than the level of violence
during prime time. There are 3-5 violent acts per hour in prime time, versus 20-25 acts per hour
on Saturday morning
Nearly 75 percent of violent scenes on television feature no immediate punishment for or
condemnation of violence
So the basic principle is this if you want to raise righteous kids, then you need to be actively involved in your
childrens media literacy. It is not something to take lightly.
Just because a TV program is aimed at children does NOT mean to say its appropriate. Clinical studies suggest that
watching TV negatively impacts childrens behaviour and can causes aggression and other behavioural problems.
The good news is, as believers we have learned to use media appropriately and have developed digital content that
has tremendous benefit. Never before has Islamic knowledge been so accessible via the Internet and mobile apps.
We are at the cusp of a new era for our children as well. There is more high quality Islamic digital content available
than ever before. Muslim Kids TV strives to bring you this content to teach children the BEST Islamic morals and
values.
Muslim Kids TV is an amazing resource developed in conjunction with Mashaikh to ensure that children learn about
Islam in a fun, inspiring and engaging way.

17.

Conclusion
We really hope this report has been valuable in helping you to understand what
it takes to raise righteous children.
Children need lots of love and compassion and need to be taught right from
wrong as soon as they are able to understand.
Its important to empower your kids for success in their everyday lives by
providing them with the right opportunities to support their mental, social,
emotional and above all, spiritual wellbeing.
Allah (swt) says in the Quran:
O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell)
whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and)
severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the commands they receive from
Allah, but do that which they are commanded.
[Quran, 66:6]
It is the right of a child that their parents raise them righteously and this is
a heavy responsibility to carrybut thankfully we live in a world where we
have so many resources to make our jobs as parents that little bit easier
-alhamdullilah!
So, have faith in your ability as a parent, be consistent with your kids and make a
LOT of dua for them. In time, youll reap the benefits of instilling good tarbiya in
your kids and the effort will truly have been worth it!
JazakAllah Khairan,
Brother Michael Milo

www.MuslimKids.Tv

www.muslimkids.tv

18.

Recommendations
Muslim Kids TV is an amazing one-stop resource designed to educate, motivate,
inspire and engage young minds.
By teaching kids the deeper values of Islam in a really unique and fun way, the
programs and content serve to help expand a childs understanding of morality
as well as encouraging good character and behaviour.
Taking a membership in Muslim Kids TV is one of the best gifts you can give your
children. Our exciting programs are endorsed by mashaikh such as Sheikh Omar
Suleiman, Sheikh Navid Aziz, Dr Bilal Philips, Sheikh Alaa ElSayed and many
more!

Approved by teachers, adored by parents and LOVED by kids, heres why

youll love Muslim Kids TV for your kids:
Recitation buddy makes learning Quran easy!
Engaging videos make it fun to learn duas
Great selection of cartoons and programs
Games, quizzes & activities for kids ages 2-11
Keep kids entertained with new content released weekly
Fantastic way of nurturing your childs spiritual development!
Righteous children are not just an asset to the community, but they benefit YOU
in the dunya AND the akhirah too!
Overall, Muslim Kids TV is an amazing resource designed to help nurture
the spiritual wellbeing of your children and makes the perfect alternative to
mainstream media!

19.