3

LavenderMagazine.com
 Contents | [ Minnesota's Gay-Lesbian-Bisexual-Transgender Magazine ]

LavenderMagazine.com
New Lavender Digital Edition.
34 On the Townsend
Execution of Justice • Twenty Ten Fest • 28th
MSP International Film Festival • Dead Man’s Cell
Phone • The Elaborate Entrance of Chad Deity
36 The Page Boy
Books Do Furnish a Room • Midnight at the FLIP
FOR
Barrelhouse: The Johnny Otis Story • My
48 Father and I: Marais and the Queerness of
Community • Parisian Hideaways: Exquisite
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38 Lavender’s OUT at the Movies
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BAR SCENE
40 Bar Advertiser Guide
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40 Bartender Spotlight PRIZES EVERY ISSUE!
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42 Bar Showcase
Gladius
Photo by Hubert Bonnet 44 Bar Calendar
The Local Plan Your Bar Outings
46 Lavender Lens
Rainbow Families Conference

ANIMAL CUISINE
HUMANE 48 Off the Eaten Path TONI BRAXTON LAURA BELL BUNDY
PULSE ACHIN’ AND SHAKIN’
SOCIETY The Local: Offers Tasty Food to Accompany CDS CDS
Jameson Drinks
RAISES
PAWS & BACKTALK
AWARENESS 54 The Network
Business Services Directory
WandaWisdom.com
America’s ORIGINAL Podcasting
54 Lavender Lens Drag Queen
COVER FEATURE PFund Moxie Awards
14 These Paws Were Made for Walking 55 LavenderMagazine.com Calendar
Celebrate Wanda Wisdom’s
35th Birthday!
Animal Humane Society Host Walk for Animals Plan Your Fortnight All month long Wanda will
be celebrating her upcoming
59 Classifieds 35th birthday, because,
COMMUNITY DIALOGUE Find Some Classy Stuff well, she’s a self-centered
8 A Word in Edgewise drag queen, of course!
60 Community Connection What better gift to give your
Lest Old Acquaintance Be Forgot GLBT-Friendly Nonprofits favorite podcasting drag
10 Queer As Folks 62 Dateland queen than to tune in to
her award-winning podcast
Multicultural Forum Seeks Future of Inclusion • Fat Cat and party right along with Photo by Brian Roby
Black Eyed Peas Become Envy of Twin Cities • her. Stop on over to http://
Family Tree Clinic Hosts 10th Annual Arborfest 66 Yellow Pages Advertiser Index wandawisdom.com and join in the fun!
What’s Where This Issue
66 Cartoon
HOME & YARD BOULEVARD Trolín BigGayNews.com
18 How To Your daily podcast of GLBT world
Pick the Right Pet news!
20 Spring Gardening
Three Gardeners Share Insights Top Headlines
88 Gay Couples Have Married in
Mexico City
NEWS & POLITICS Constance McMillen Sent to ‘Fake’
26 Big Gay News Prom
National and World News Salt Lake City’s Gay-Rights Laws
Take Effect
28 MENSDEPT. Cuts Its Way into
Minneapolis Openly Gay Former Wrestler Found Dead
April 23--May 6, 2010

Kurt Kueffner Goes Back to Basics with His

Barbershop Get Your News in 12 Languages!
Big Gay News now offers TWELVE foreign language
This Issue Next Up newswires! You can get international GLBT news from
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ISSUE 389
April 23, 2010
ISSUE 390 hundreds of sources in twelve different languages. There
32 Jai Rodriguez May 7, 2010 is absolutely no other site offering this much relevant
Spring Gardening Summer of Pride content. Visit http://biggaynews.com today!
More Than the Cultured Queer Eye Walk for Animals Preview

4
5
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 Volume 15, Issue 389 • April 23–May 6, 2010

Editorial
Editor Emeritus Ethan Boatner 612-436-4670
Editorial Director Russell Remmick 612-436-4671
Editorial Associate George Holdgrafer 612-436-4672
Podmaster Bradley Traynor 612-436-4669
Contributors Kolina Cicero, Meryl Cohn, Carla Continenza,
Julie Dafydd, Heidi Fellner, Terrance Griep, Ed Huyck, Steve
Lenius, Casey Merkwan, Jennifer Parello, Todd Park, Kevin
Quinn, Sara Rogers, Amber Schadewald, Elizabeth Stiras, John
Townsend, Carla Waldemar
Advertising
Sales & Advertising Director Barry Leavitt 612-436-4690
Senior Account Executive Suzanne Farrell 612-436-4699
Account Executives Jonathan Halverson 612-436-4696,
Michael Ladzun 612-436-4697
Sales & Advertising Traffic Coordinator
Linda Raines 612-436-4694
Advertising Associate George Holdgrafer 612-436-4672
Classifieds Suzanne Farrell 612-436-4699
National Sales Representative Rivendell Media
212-242-6863
Creative
Creative Director Hubert Bonnet 612-436-4678
Creative Assistant Mike Hnida 612-436-4679
Creative Intern Andy Scott
Photographer Sophia Hantzes
Cartoonist Rodro
Lavender Studios Hubert Bonnet, Mike Hnida
Administration
Publisher Lavender Media, Inc.
President & CEO Stephen Rocheford 612-436-4665
Vice President & CC Pierre Tardif 612-436-4666
Chief Financial Officer Carolyn Lima 612-436-4664
Administrative Assistant Austin Lindstrom 612-436-4661
Founders George Holdgrafer, Stephen Rocheford
Inspiration Steven W. Anderson (1954-1994), Timothy J. Lee
(1968-2002), Russell Berg (1957-2005), Kathryn Rocheford
(1914-2006)

Letters are subject to editing for grammar, punctuation, space,

and libel. They should be no more than 300 words. Letters must
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material previously published in Lavender Magazine. Submit let-
ters to Lavender Magazine, Letters to the Editor, 3715 Chicago
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Lavender Media Inc.

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612-436-4660 office
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April 23--May 6, 2010

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Entire contents copyright 2010. All rights reserved. Publication of the name or
photograph of any person, organization, or business in this magazine does not
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the right to refuse any advertising. This issue of Lavender® Magazine is available
free of charge during the time period published on the cover. Pickup at one of our
distribution sites is limited to one copy per person.

6
7
LavenderMagazine.com
 Community Dialogue > A Word in Edgewise
Lest Old Acquaintance Be Forgot
T
his year, as time
slouches toward
another birthday,
my mind is focused on pleas-
ant nostalgic memories rath-
er than its usual dwellings on
mortality and loss of short-
term memory. One reason:
The powers that be just rereleased one of my
very favorite films, The African Queen.
I recently got on board Netflix (no, not
the click-and-view, but the one-DVD-at-
a-time-via-snail-mail version). Of course,
one of the first films I tried to order was
The African Queen. Surprised it wasn’t on
the vast Netflix list, I checked Amazon,
and found the notation “Available March
2010.” And so it was.
The African Queen stars Humphrey Boga-
rt as Charlie Allnut and Katherine Hepburn
April 23--May 6, 2010
8
as Rose. Too often, we find our idols have
feet of clay, but not that night, not that film.
I think the color may have been cleaned up
a bit, or my memory had sepia-toned itself
over time. But there it was: Bogart gin-
soaked and disheveled; Hepburn starched
and prissy (at least before the first water-
fall and bug swarm); the jungle as lush and
menacing as it had been back in…back in
1951 (!), when I saw it in the theater.
My favorite Hepburn line as she pours
Bogart’s booze into the river: “Nature,
Mr. Allnut, is what we were put on earth
to rise above.”
As long as I’m revisiting memories
gathered before the birth of most readers,
how about Alec Guinness’s films? I rarely
get a blink of recognition when I mention
The Ladykillers, All at Sea, Kind Hearts and
Coronets, or The Horse’s Mouth—though he
[ by E.B. Boatner ]
swims into modern ken as Obi-Wan Kenobi
in Star Wars, a performance for which he
received a Best Supporting Actor nomina-
tion in the dim days of 1977.
I wonder what memories are being
stored today for tomorrow’s nostalgia—say,
20 to 30 years ahead. Will Avatar be viewed
in 2059 with the same thrill as I revisited
The African Queen? Will technology have
gone so fast and far that information will
be encoded electronically in the brain for
instant inner replay?
I won’t be around then, unless technol-
ogy makes some really big leaps, but I’d like
to think that the old African Queen, on
some as yet-to-be-invented medium, still
will chug down the Ulanga to Lake Vic-
toria, where Charlie Allnut and Rose will
torpedo the German gunboat, and swim off
through the wreckage into a new dawn.
9
LavenderMagazine.com
 Community Dialogue > Queer As Folks

will.i.am (right). Photo by Misha Sundukovskiy

BLACK EYED PEAS BECOME

ENVY OF TWIN CITIES
The Black Eyed Peas World Tour
made a stop at the Xcel Center in
Photo by Sophia Hantzes
St. Paul on March 22. Playing hits
both new and old, the group per-
formed a nearly nonstop concert for
the 14,000 people who attended.
The infectious music made for a MULTICULTURAL FORUM SEEKS FUTURE OF INCLUSION
body-shaking, bass-thumping, and
eye-popping party. The Peas even
For the past 22 years, same regardless of sex, GLBT community in the
let Fergie loose to sing some of her
solo hits, including “Missing You” the Multicultural Forum race, religion, or sexual workplace, including:
and “Fergalicious.” Things finished has been providing orientation. This year’s “Beyond Partner Benefits:
on a high note with number-one CEOs, managers, human focus was to secure the Building on LGBT Policies
Peas hits “Boom Boom Pow” and resource professionals, diversity and inclusion to Improve Workplace
“I Gotta Feeling” from their latest and everyone else infor- future in the workplace Climate”; and “Square
album, The E.N.D. The festivities mation about diversity in by implementing new Pegs: Building a Strategy
continued until the wee hours of the workplace. Diversity tactics. The two-day for your LGBT Resource
the morning at Envy in Minneapo- doesn’t mean having a conference included Group.” For more info on
lis, where will.i.am and apl.de.ap, well-balanced mixed of various informational the Multicultural Forum,
along with other patrons, enjoyed a people, but rather treat- sessions and workshops. visit <www.stthomas.
special V.I.Pea cocktail. ing every employee the Several focused on the edu/mcf>.

FAMILY TREE CLINIC HOSTS 10TH ANNUAL ARBORFEST

On May 7, Family Tree Clinic hosts its
10th annual Regional Craft Beer and Wine
Sampling Fundraiser at Kagin Commons,
Macalester College, St. Paul. Growing every
year, the event features sampling of the best
handcrafted beer from top local breweries,
April 23--May 6, 2010
such as a raucous bagpipe opener and a
live DJ; and a raffle including great brewery
swag. Family Tree Clinic is dedicated to
ensuring that people of all gender identi-
ties and sexual orientations have access to
comprehensive and compassionate sexual

as well as nonalcoholic beverages—plus, health care and education. To learn more

new this year, wine. Arborfest offers a taste about Arborfest and Family Tree Clinic, visit
of Minnesota, with tasty eats; entertainment, <www.familytreeclinic.org>.

Photo by Sophia Hantzes

10
Photos: Meghan Doll Photography

INTERNATIONAL PLATINUM-LEVEL RESTAURANTS

SPONSOR

PRESENTING SPONSORS

GOLD FORK SPONSORS

SILVER SPOON SPONSOR

BRONZE
PLATE
SPONSORS

COPPER
KETTLE
SPONSORS
DINING OUT FOR LIFE THURSDAY, APRIL 29, 2010
CITY PAGES and LAVENDER invite you to

Dine out.
Do good.
Dine out at one of these participating restaurants on Thursday, April 29, and a portion of their receipts will
be donated to The Aliveness Project. Help support this community center for people living with HIV/AIDS.
It’s the easiest good deed you’ll do this year!
B = Breakfast L = Lunch D = Dinner Modern Café L,D Va Bene Berarducci’s Caffe Restaurant Aura D BRONZE LEVEL (15-19%) Galactic Pizza L,D
PLATINUM LEVEL (35%+) Moose and Sadie’s D (Duluth) B,L,D Rizzo’s Italian 318 Café B,L,D It’s Greek to Me D
128 Café D moto-i Sake The Veranda (St. James Hotel, Restaurant & Bar D 8th Street Grill L Kafé 421 L,D
42nd Avenue Station B,L,D Brewery Restaurant L,D Red Wing) B,L,D Rudolphs Bar-B-Que D Angelo’s Italian Lake Avenue Café (Duluth) L,D
A25 : Anemoni Sushi + Napa Valley Grille L,D Victor’s 1959 Café B,L,D St. Clair Broiler L,D Restaurant L,D Lone Spur Grill & Bar L,D
Sake Bar D Ngon Vietnamese Bistro D Wilde Roast Café B,L,D Sawatdee & Zushiya of Bambu L,D Luna Rossa Trattoria &
Afton House Inn D Pagoda D Yum! (Take Out Only) B,L,D Maple Grove L,D Beaujo’s Wine Bar & Bistro L Wine Bar D
al Vento D Pancho Villa’s Grill L GOLD LEVEL (25-34%) Town Talk Diner D Black Forest Inn B,L,D Manny’s Tortas L,D
Azia Restaurant L,D Papa’s Restaurant Amici Pizza & Bistro D Trattoria da Vinci D Boca Chica Restaurant L,D Midori’s Floating World Café D
B.A.N.K. D and Deli L,D Anodyne Coffeehouse B,L,D SILVER LEVEL (20-24%) The Bulldog Lowertown L,D New Scenic Café (Duluth) L,D
Bar Abilene D Piccolo D The Butcher Block Bar & At Sara’s Table/ The Bulldog Uptown L,D OM D
Birchwood Café D Pizza Lucé - Downtown Mpls Restaurant D Chester Creek Café Buona Sera D POP! Restaurant L,D
Café Ena D (DINE IN ONLY) L,D Café Twenty-Eight L,D (Duluth) D C.C. Club B,L,D POP!! Restaurant L,D
Chin Dian D Pizza Lucé - Duluth Carmelo’s Ristorante L,D Barbette L,D Charlie’s at the The Q Kindness Café B
Colossal Café B,L (DINE IN ONLY) L,D Black Dog Coffee & Water Street Inn B,L,D Rail Station Bar & Grill D
Christos Greek Restaurant
Cupcake B,L,D Pizza Lucé - Seward/ (Minnetonka) D Wine Bar B,L,D Chianti Grill (Burnsville) L Roat Osha D
University (DINE-IN ONLY) Chiang Mai Thai D Chianti Grill (Roseville) L
Cuppa Java Coffee and Deli D Christos Union Depot Place D Sanctuary D
L,D Falafel King L,D
El Mesón D Curran’s Restaurant D Citizen Cafe L,D Santorini L,D
Pizza Lucé - St. Paul (DINE-IN Fireroast Mountain Café B,L,D
El Nuevo Rodeo L,D Eden Avenue Grill D Common Roots Cafe D Sapor Café/Bar L,D
ONLY) L,D Ginger Hop Restaurant L,D
The Favor Café D Erte & The Peacock Lounge D The Craftsman D Sawatdee Thai Restaurant L,D
Pizza Lucé - Uptown (DINE IN Jitters Coffee & Tea House
FireLake Grill House ONLY) L,D Everest on Grand L The Dakota (special DOL Solera D
& Cocktail Bar B (Duluth) B,L,D seating ONLY) L,D
The Port of Red Wing Fujiya Japanese D Spoonriver L,D
Fusion D Muffuletta Café L,D Dunn Bros Coffee
(St. James Hotel, Grand Café L,D Tanpopo Noodle Shop D
Gay 90’s D Nic’s on Nicollet L,D (Roseville) B,L,D
Red Wing) D Great Waters Tootie’s On Lowry D
Henry’s Café B,L Brewing Company L,D Red Stag Supperclub L,D Ecopolitan B,L,D
The Purple Onion Café B,L,D Tum Rup Thai D
The Herkimer Pub Highland Café & Bakery D Rinata D El Paraiso
Rustica Bakery B,L,D The Uptown Diner B
and Brewery L,D Himalayan D St. Martin’s Table L Mexican Restaurant L,D
The Saloon D Zeitgeist Arts Café
Hot Plate B,L Jakeeno’s Pizza & Pasta L,D Sontes (Rochester) D Fat Lorenzo’s L,D (Duluth) L,D
Sawatdee St. Paul D
The Independent L,D La Belle Crepe B,L Stella’s Fish Cafe D First Course D
Señor Wong D
Joe’s Garage Restaurant D May Day Café B,L Trotter’s Café B,L,D
Spill The Wine L,D
Khyber Pass Café L,D Maynard’s Restaurant Tryg’s D
Supatra’s Thai Cuisine D
Loring Kitchen & Bar L,D (Excelsior) L Vina Restaurant D
Tickles Food & Bar D
LUSH Food Bar D McCoy’s Public House L,D W.A. Frost L
Tiger Sushi 2
Maverick’s Wood Grill D (6:30 - 10 pm dining) D Rainbow Chinese
Minneapolis Eagle D Toast Wine Bar & Cafe D Restaurant L,D

For more information, visit diningoutforlife.com or call 612-824-LIFE (5433).

The Aliveness Project, 730 East 38th Street, Minneapolis, MN 55407 www.aliveness.org
 > Cover Feature

THESE PAWS WERE MADE

FOR WALKING
April 23--May 6, 2010

14
 Animal
Humane Society
Hosts Walk for
Animals
[ by Casey Merkwan ]

C
indy Wrezca’s first
Walk for Ani-
mals was certainly
memorable. She
was sitting on a curb, chat-
ting with friends, and waiting
for the event to start, when
her friend’s Scottish terrier
walked up, and peed on her
leg. So, she did the Walk with
just one sock. Yet, the inci-
dent hasn’t stopped her from
going to five Walks in the past
seven years.
A Minnetonka resident, and owner of an
Iowa domestic longhaired cat, Wrezca al-
ways has been an animal lover. But it wasn’t
until she moved from St. Cloud to the Cities
in 2002 that she learned of the Walk.
LavenderMagazine.com

Wrezca says, “I thought it would be a

good place to meet other people that also
have the same care for animals and the de-
sire to help them.”

15
 > Cover Feature
Her love for animals started as a young
kid, when Wrezca grew up with multiple
pets—she always had at least two cats and
one dog in her life all the way through high
school. When she went to St. Cloud State
University, she was without a pet. That
changed as soon as she graduated. She met
and adopted her cat, Matty. Although she
knows Matty would not enjoy being leashed
for the Walk, Wrezca continues to partici-
pate to support other kitties and animals.
Wrezca explains, “The Walk for Ani-
mals is one of the most organized fund-
raising events in the Twin Cities area, and
it’s sponsored by so many local corporate
sponsors and local volunteers. It’s a great
way to show your community support for
our four-legged friends and other animals
that need the help.”
For 36 years, the annual Animal Hu-
mane Society (AHS) Walk for Animals has
united humans and animals. This year’s
event, on May 1, is the nation’s largest hu-
man/pet walk, according to AHS spokes-
person Carrie Libera.
As Libera notes, “The walk was created
as a way for the community to get more in-
volved in our work, and for people to sup-
port the animals that need their help, and
celebrate the animals in their own lives.”
Getting under way at 10 AM, the Walk
starts at the AHS Golden Valley location,
goes through Theodore Wirth Park, turns
around, and heads back to the AHS. The
route is approximately five miles, but vol-
unteers can turn around at any point.
With five locations—Buffalo, Coon
Rapids, Golden Valley, St. Paul, and
Woodbury—AHS has been a strong advo-
cate for animals in Minnesota.
Libera relates, “Although we are always
seeking stronger legislation to protect the
rights of animals in Minnesota, we are for-
April 23--May 6, 2010
tunate to live in a community where people
love and value animals, and really support
our mission. The Twin Cities is a leader in
leash laws and spaying/neutering for dogs.
If we could all work harder on making sure
cats receive that same attention, we could de-
16
crease cat overpopulation, which is a crucial
problem in Minnesota and the country.”
Every year, AHS takes in nearly 35,000
homeless and neglected domestic animals.
Through the Walk, it hopes to raise $1.1
million to aid them. AHS is a private non-
profit organization that does not receive
federal, state, or governmental funding,
but relies solely on private donations, mer-
chandise sales, and adoption fees. Private
donations make up 70 percent of the AHS
operating budget.
Donations—not only money, but also
items—go toward helping animals live
more fulfilling lives. The organization’s
website even has a wish list of items to do-
nate: bath towels, batteries, cat toys, dog
brushes, fleece, food bowls, fresh veggies,
laundry soap, litter boxes, newspapers, and
paper towels—to name a few.
But the Walk isn’t just about donations.
It’s about building a community.
This year’s Walk offers family activities,
pet contests, merchandise, food vendors,
and community personalities. Famous pet
lovers on hand include Fox 9’s Jeff Pas-
solt, Robyne Robinson, Ian Leonard, Alix
Kendall, Keith Marler, Tom Butler, Juli
Jay, and M.A. Rosko; and Cities 97’s Brian
Oake, BT, and Lee Valsvik.
Many of the activities are targeted to-
ward dogs, such as The Bone Zone and
Rover Rally Doggy Obstacle Course, but
the Walk is open to other animals as well.
Previous events have seen birds, cats, don-
keys, ferrets, gerbils, guinea pigs, horses,
pigs, and rabbits.
Libera remarks, “You would think with
all those animals together in one location,
it’d be a zoo—but it’s not. It’s like the ani-
mals know this is their day, so they are on
their best behavior! It’s just a ton of fun, and
something really special to be a part of.”
The support animals get at the Walk
doesn’t end once volunteers finish their five
miles. The needs of animals are always there.
To find out more ways to contribute to
AHS, visit <www.animalhumanesociety.
org>.
 LavenderMagazine.com

17
 Home & Yard Boulevard |
HOW TO:
PICK THE RIGHT PET
As this issue already has a large feature
about Spring Gardening, preempting my
first idea for this article—How To Plant a
Garden—we’re going to learn how to pick
the right pet. Yes, there is a right and wrong
kind of pet for everybody. For example, if
you watched Anaconda as a kid, and still use
the bed covers 10 years later to make sure
your feet are protected from any monster-
sized snakes attacking you, a pet snake is
probably not right for you. Personally, I
believe snakes are only good when dead,
so I’m not sure why anyone would think
having something that wants to kill you is
a good pet. But let’s move on.
STEP 1: EVALUATE YOUR LIFESTYLE
Your lifestyle is a major factor in choos-
ing a pet. Some people shouldn’t even con-
sider owning a pet, which is a huge respon-
sibility for anyone. Yes, that means your
favorite childhood pet you played with all
the time actually was fed, let outside, and
taken to the vet by your parents. If you feel
like you’re always busy with one thing or
another, you shouldn’t think of owning a
pet. It needs a lot of attention, and if you
can’t give that to yourself, how do you plan
to provide it to a pet?
STEP 2: EVALUATE YOUR HOME
If you’ve passed the first test, and realize
you don’t remember the last time you left your
April 23--May 6, 2010
home, then you can keep reading. Though an
efficiency apartment is fine for you, it’s not
going to work for a large pet. That means a
Great Dane is not the right type of pet for
you. Different species have varying needs.
A small pet like a bird or gerbil can exist in
18
a cage placed where you have room for it.
Larger pets, like cats and dogs, require more
space to roam around. If you really want that
Great Dane, then you need to move some-
where big that has a big yard as well.
STEP 3: PICK YOUR PET
This doesn’t mean running out to the
Animal Humane Society, picking the cut-
est one you can find, and shanking the first
person who thinks he or she is taking it
home instead. Based on your time and liv-
ing restraints, select a pet that will fit into
your lifestyle. If you really want a dog, but
you’re not sure if you have the right-size
home, or time to take care of it, then now
just isn’t the time in your life to get a pet.
Try knitting instead. I hear that works well
for…well, I hear it works. You—and only
you—are responsible for the animal’s well-
being, so be responsible if you plan to care
for another living creature.
STEP 4: PET-PROOF YOUR HOME
Unless you pick a pet that is always in
a cage, you need to pet-proof you home.
Animals, like babies, will find a way to de-
stroy everything you own if you don’t pay
attention to them—especially young dogs.
They need attention and exercise. If you
fail to provide either, they will amuse them-
selves by ripping your shoes into a million
pieces, and look cute while doing so. Make
sure things of value are placed out of reach.
Never ever leave your young pet unat-
tended. Its super pet senses let your young-
ster know you aren’t watching, so it plans
wicked schemes to ruin everything you
own in record-breaking time, and hide the
[ by Russell Remmick ]
evidence. If this seems like something you
don’t want to deal with, think of acquiring a
slightly older pet that already will have out-
grown its cute, evil ways.
STEP 5: FIND YOUR PET
Now, it’s time for you to race around
town, considering every cute animal you
can get your greedy little hands on. Actually,
you have no reason to go and get a pet im-
mediately. Take your time finding the right
animal for you. If you don’t see one you like
right away, keep looking. Nothing is worse
than picking a pet you actually don’t want.
Let’s be honest: If you don’t like an animal,
how likely is it that you’re going to care if
you forget to feed it? The Animal Humane
Society is a great resource for finding a pet.
Even if it doesn’t let you adopt the species
of pet you’re seeking, it will be able to point
you in the right direction.
STEP 6: CARE FOR YOUR PET
It’s that responsibility thing I men-
tioned earlier. You need not only the time
and energy to care for your pet, but also the
money. Some pets cost more than others.
Crates, food, toys, vet visits—and, if you
wish to have your pets hate you, pet cloth-
ing…the list can go on for a while. Know
that younger pets cost more in vet bills, so
plan for it if you go for the cute factor.
STEP 7: GLOAT
Now that you have the most awesome pet
the world has seen, it’s time to show it off to
all your friends and family on Facebook.
For more info on the Animal Humane Society,
visit <www.animalhumanesociety.org>.
 LavenderMagazine.com

19
 Home & Yard Boulevard | [ by Elizabeth Stiras ]

en in g
rd
Thr
ee
Ga
a rd
e
G

ne
rs
S pr i n g

Sh
a re
Insights

If you know a gardener, then you know it’s spring. Get

April 23-May 6, 2010

a gardener started, and he or she can’t stop talking about

what to plant, how to do so, and what to try next.

20
 LavenderMagazine.com

21
 > Spring Gardening

DON ENGEBRETSON
Don Engebretson, owner and operator of Renegade Gardener Landscaping in Min-
neapolis, says, “You learn something new every day, so the underlying goal is to hang in
there, and rack up as many days as you can.”
Engebretson, whose approach to gardening integrates two basic facets, explains, “The
first is fact-based. The how-to of gardening— how to plant, how to grow something, how
to prune, how to build a pond—is all as concrete and systematic as basic mathematics.”
Regarding the second facet, creativity, Engebretson continues, “Having learned the
basic truths of how to plant a tree, now you decide where to plant the tree and what to
plant around it. Now you can do anything. The plant combinations are completely up
to you. There is really no right and wrong involved in this phase, only wise and unwise.
You develop your own personal style, develop the artist within, and create a garden or
landscape that is unique.”
Engebretson, who finds trends emerging in his daily work, notes, “I continue to see
April 23-May 6, 2010

growing interest in hardscape features, things like patios and walls and garden rooms.
People are going to continue to accessorize, to personalize their landscapes with unique
containers, art and sculpture, fountains, and boulder outcroppings—all the nonplant
items that make a landscape one of a kind.”
All the latest hubbub about sustainability, while fueled by good intentions, rings hollow for
Engebretson: “I think the whole sustainable gardening concept is terribly convoluted. Most

22
of it is marketing aimed at getting you to
buy something. Given a choice, we should
always do what’s best and/or least harmful
to the Earth’s ecology. Gardening by its
very nature is sustainable. Good gardeners
have always been mindful of keeping soils
healthy, of making good use of resources.”
The general public has access to free
resources that often don’t get enough at-
tention, so Engebretson invites, “Join a
garden club or your state horticultural
society if gardening becomes one of your
primary hobbies. The trick is to weed
through all the mountains of superfluous
information, as well as the mountains of
erroneous information.”

THERESA ROONEY
One of the best resources is the Master
Gardener program, which trains volunteers
prepared and available to answer questions
from the public about all things green.
Theresa Rooney, a Master Gardener
with Hennepin County, loves sharing
what she knows and learning more.
Rooney enthuses, “I have always loved
to learn about plants, and the Master
Gardener program taught me so much. It
seems like a perfect match to me.”
In her own gardening, Rooney uses
sustainable practices to save time and grow
more efficiently. For others who want to
make their gardening more sustainable,
she advises starting with one idea—like
composting.
Rooney states, “Find out what it is, how
to do it, then start composting everything.”
Kitchen scraps and shredded docu-
ments can be composted. These steps take
the hassle out of everyday tasks, while in
turn making gardening easier.
Rooney relates, “It is easier to capture
rain when I can than to lug hoses every-
where. It is easier for me to lasagna-garden
than to double-dig and disturb the soil.”
Lasagna gardening requires no tilling,
digging, or weeding. Layers of organic
material are alternated with peat moss.
Old newspaper, cardboard, and compost
LavenderMagazine.com

work well as layers. This method enhanc-

es the soil. It requires much less time and
effort than traditional methods.
Rooney remarks, “I let nature do

23
 > Spring Gardening

the hard work. If I work with nature, the small input I add results
in huge output for me later.”
For smaller gardens, Rooney suggests making the most of lim-
ited space by planting strategically, instructing, “Think about ver-
tical gardening. Let the lettuces hide in the shade of the tomatoes.
Grow a succession of plants in the same space.”
Stressing the importance of building the soil, Rooney insists,
“Without good soil, the plants will struggle, and so will you.”
Rooney believes that you should grow what you really love to
eat, declaring, “If you like cucumbers, try bush cukes.”
It helps to think of the relative cost of favorite vegetables, so,
in Rooney’s words, “Grow heirloom tomatoes, as they can be
quite expensive.”

BONNIE DEHN
Bonnie Dehn knows all about growing for the market as a fourth-
generation farmer at Dehn’s Gardens in Andover, Minnesota.
According to Dehn, “We’re a true family farm. Everyone from
grandparents to kids is involved.”
Dehn’s Gardens is in a more densely populated area than most
farms, and Dehn recounts, “We have been told by the new neigh-
bors, ‘We’ll let you stay here’—even though we have farmed this
property for nearly 30 years. Even the attitude of the government
has changed. The county and city level would much rather call us
open space than agricultural in zoning.”
But the farm’s proximity to the Twin Cities comes with ben-
April 23-May 6, 2010

efits, as Dehn observes, “We are located about 40 minutes from

Downtown Minneapolis and the markets we address. It’s a big
plus with the cost of transportation.”
Dehn’s family sells produce through local stores, plus four days
a week April to October at the Minneapolis Farmers Market.
As Dehn reveals, “The Minneapolis Farmers Market is a large

24
percentage of our income for the farm. The
wholesale market changes, often not to the
advantage of the local producers. Many local
farms have almost given up on the wholesale
markets, because buyers find it easier to call
their connections in California.”
More than 200 growers supply the
Minneapolis Farmers Market. The Lyn-
dale location is open from mid-April to
mid-November, while the Nicollet loca-
tion is open from late April to early No-
vember. All vendors are members of the
Central Minnesota Vegetable Growers
Association, which emphasizes sustain-
able practices. The market supports small
farms and agriculture in Minnesota.
While Dehn’s Gardens has not been
certified organic—which would increase
production costs and market prices—it has
used sustainable practices for many years.
Dehn points out, “Our customers
know how and where we farm, and a circle
of trust has been established.”
The organic label might become nec-
essary, but the family’s history and per-
sonal contact with customers convey the
right message.
Dehn comments, “Surprisingly enough,
we were sustainable before the trend. When
we started farming, my husband was going
through cancer treatments. We decided not
to use pesticides and commercial fertilizers.”
Conventional methods like chemical
spraying had to stay in the past, but other
family traditions continues.
Dehn adds, “We use the old-fashioned
tools of the trade, such as small garden
hoes. Most hoes in the garden stores are
huge. You need a small blade, no paint on
the blade, and a much thinner handle to
be comfortable.”
Another Dehn insight: Use a small
children’s swimming pool to wash garden
vegetables.
Little tips here and there, whether
from experts or a next-door neighbor, can
take any garden in a different direction.
Inspiration and passion are the foundation
LavenderMagazine.com

of a good garden.
As Dehn puts it, “Just have fun. The
more you enjoy the garden, the more will-
ing you are to do it again!”

25
 Big Gay News >
[ Written & Compiled by Bradley Traynor ]

NATIONAL
FDA REVIEWING GAY BLOOD BAN
United Press International reports that
the US Food and Drug Administration
(FDA) is reviewing a policy that effective-
ly prevents gay men from donating blood.
In a statement, the agency said, “We are
considering the possibility of pursuing
alternative strategies that maintain blood
safety.” Currently, the ban excludes blood
donations by any man who has had sex
with another man since 1977. The restric-
tions were imposed over fears in the 1980s
that blood from gay men would spread
HIV and AIDS. Led by former presiden-
tial candidate John Kerry, 18 US senators
have called on the FDA to lift the ban.

CALIFORNIA PROTEST SEEKS

SOCIAL SECURITY BENEFITS
FOR GAY COUPLES
According to the Associated Press,
about 700 peaceful demonstrators pro-
tested in Hollywood, demanding that
same-sex couples receive Social Security
benefits. Lorri L. Jean, CEO of the Los
Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center, told AP,
“This was the kickoff for a national cam-
paign to end discrimination when it comes
to Social Security. We not only have to
educate the straight community, but we
have to educate our own. Many don’t
know how it works until they’re older,
and faced with having been denied ben-
efits.” US Representative Linda Sanchez
told the crowd of demonstrators that she
would author legislation in Congress to
extend Social Security Survivor benefits to
gay couples. US Representative Judy Chu
offered to coauthor the bill. US Senator
Barbara Boxer also spoke.

TROOPS QUESTION IMPACT IF

GAY BAN IS LIFTED
The Associated Press reports that US
troops attended a first-of-its-kind meet-
ing in March to discuss lifting the ban
on openly gay service members. About
350 randomly selected troops assembled
in an auditorium at the Pentagon to ask
questions of the working group tasked
with researching the impact of lifting the
April 23-May 6, 2010

ban. Soldiers asked questions about a va-

riety of issues, including possible bunking
arrangements and benefits for same-sex
spouses. One female Marine stated that
bunking with a lesbian would be the same
as sharing a room with a man. When asked

26
if they believed they already have served
with a gay person, about half the audience
raised their hands. The working group is
not expected to release its findings until
the end of the year.

JUDGE SAYS TRANSGENDER

INMATES HAVE RIGHT TO
THERAPY
According to The Washington Post, a
federal judge has struck down a Wiscon-
sin state law that prohibits transgender
inmates from receiving taxpayer-funded
hormone therapy. A group of inmates
challenged the 2006 law with the help
of the American Civil Liberties Union
(ACLU) and Lambda Legal. Larry Du-
puis, an ACLU attorney, told reporters,
“It’s a victory for these inmates who have
a condition that is misunderstood and
vilified for political purposes.” Lawmak-
ers who passed the measure hoped the
state’s Attorney General would appeal
the ruling. Republican State Representa-
tive Scott Suder commented, “This ruling
puts a higher priority on helping inmate
Tommy become Tammy than protecting
the pocketbooks of law-abiding citizens.”

WORLD
88 GAY COUPLES HAVE
MARRIED IN MEXICO CITY
The Associated Press reports that 88
same-sex couples have married in Mexico
City since it became legal in February. Ac-
cording to city officials, 50 of the couples
were male and 38 female. Between now
and June, 37 more same-sex marriages
are scheduled to take place. Mexico City
is the first jurisdiction in Latin America
explicitly to legalize same-sex marriage.
The legislation also allows couples to
adopt children.

GAY MEN’S BODIES

DESECRATED IN SENEGAL
According to the Associated Press, in
the past two years, the bodies of at least
four men suspected of being gay have
been exhumed and desecrated by angry
mobs in cemeteries in the African nation
of Senegal. Ryan Thoreson, a fellow at
the International Gay and Lesbian Hu-
man Rights Commission who has been
researching the rise of homophobia in
that country, says, “It’s jarring to see this
happen in Senegal. When something like
LavenderMagazine.com

this happens in an established democracy,

it’s alarming.” The Associated Press notes
that many gay men have gone into hiding,
or have fled to neighboring countries.

27
 > News

MENSDEPT.
CUTS ITS WAY INTO MINNEAPOLIS

Photos by Hubert Bonnet

Kurt Kueffner Goes Back to Basics with His Barbershop

[ by Russell Remmick ]

T
he economy slowly is recovering after one of the
worst recessions since the Great Depression. But
the effect still can be felt, with unemployment
rates hovering around 10 percent, and many busi-
April 23-May 6, 2010
A Minneapolis native, Kueffner at-
tended barber school in St. Paul in 1973,
and continued at the first Aveda Institute in
Minneapolis in 1976. With 35 years in the
hair industry, he has been around the block
that he helped create. He considers himself

“the oldest rank-and-file” barber around.

nesses closing after months of trying to stay open. So, it would
seem like a bad time to start a new business from the ground up,
but that’s exactly what Kurt Kueffner decided to do.
After 20 years of cutting hair, giving in to
temptation, Kueffner took a job with Revlon,
where he worked for American Crew creat-
ing instructional manuals and DVDs used by
a lot of up-and-coming stylists. A man who

28
confesses that he’s better as a haircutter put
his dream of owning his own salon on hia-
tus to work for manufacturers.
Kueffner says, “When you’re a hair-
dresser, there is always a temptation to
work for manufacturers—lots of money,
lots of glamour. I think a lot of people
want to do it when they are younger.”
But for Kueffner, it was more than the
glitz. As many parents have learned, your
dreams are put on hold when it comes to
your children. After living in Colorado
when he worked for Revlon, Kueffner
switched to Aveda, and moved back to
Minneapolis, where his son underwent a
LavenderMagazine.com

bone marrow transplant.

“The [health] insurance kept me in the
industry. And with my son sick, I just didn’t
have the energy,” Kueffner admits.

29
 > MENSDEPT.

With his son five years past the health

crisis, Kueffner was able to afford to go on
COBRA health insurance, and follow his
dream of opening his very own salon. For
him, it heralds back to the days of classic
barbering.
Kueffner relates, “I’ve seen a lot of de-
velopment in the men’s [hair business]. I
just didn’t see a good idea so far. There’s
been Rudy’s and Raze and Sports Clips and
a lot of concept men’s barbershops trying
to reinvent the men’s barbershop. None of
them were really about nice, simple, good
work. My background is technical craft.
I’m an old barber, salon-trained. I wanted
to bring the higher art of men’s design and
technique. We thought we’d scrape out all
that hoopla, and become well-trained. It’s
how we plan to set ourselves apart.”
Never straying far from technique,
Kueffner notes the absence of men’s styl-
ing: “Men’s style is gone, classic barber-
ing is gone, clean classic men’s barbering
is gone, old cosmetology is gone. It died
with its customers. It’s not about bringing
back work. It’s about techniques that were
April 23-May 6, 2010

relevant back then.”

On a topic of true passion for him, Ku-
effner muses on his desire to bring back
the lost art of cutting men’s hair, recount-
ing, “Men’s hair grew long with the ’60s
and ’70s, and short hair came back in the

30
’90s. [Barbers] didn’t know how to shape
the head, contour the hair. If you don’t
have a good-looking head shape, you don’t
have a good haircut. If you have some hair,
you can make it look better—you can work
with it—but that takes technique.”
With that concept, MENSDEPT. was
born—a simple men’s salon with an empha-
sis on classic haircuts, not all the folderol
that comes with most other salons. Adjacent
to the aloft Hotel—with a half-dozen free
parking spots—it truly is a simple place.
Kueffner details, “We offer men’s T-
shirts to change into for men who wear
ties, suits—who don’t want to itch all day.
In the main reception area, all we serve
is coffee and water. We are going to have
online booking. It’s representative of the
brand—simple, clean, modern—but basi-
cally, it is what it is.”
Yet simple can have perks, too. With
two standouts you may not find elsewhere,
MENSDEPT. plans to be not only a step
above the rest, but also one in the right
direction.
When employees just don’t have time
to leave work to get a haircut, the barber
can come to the office. That’s correct.
MENSDEPT. can send out one of its
highly trained barbers to the office, and
give the entire staff that quick trim they
need, but can’t run out and get.
Perhaps the best perk, though, is The
Year of Grooming Package. For $350 a
year, a man can get his hair cut as often as
he likes, which for someone who likes his
hair trimmed often can be quite a steal.
Considering that the barbering is done
by the man who actually wrote the manu-
als on how to cut men’s hair, it’s guaran-
teed to look great.
LavenderMagazine.com

MENSDEPT.
930 Washington Ave. S., Mpls.
(612) 339-2222
<www.mensdept.com>

31
 > Arts & Entertainment

Jai [ by Todd Park ]

Rodriguez
More Than the Cultured Queer Eye

T here’s a whole lot more to the multitalented Jai Rodri-

guez than meets the cultured queer eye. Long before he became
known as the culture expert on Bravo’s Queer Eye for the Straight
Guy, he had performed on and off-Broadway, as well as on daytime
playing someone close to who I am.”
This comfort perhaps has allowed Ro-
driguez to be as outspoken as he is with
respect to the issue of equality, specifically
calling the gay media to task.
According to Rodriguez, “If they do a
television. But it was the worldwide exposure Queer Eye offered
April 23-May 6, 2010

story on gay activism, they do a story of the

that opened the door for him to do a number of new things pro- shirtless guy, and ignore the ones actually do-
fessionally, plus gave him a platform to find his own voice. ing the work. It does a disservice to equality.”
Rodriguez recalls that marriage equality
Rodriguez has had the great good fortune might be worried about being typecast, he is initially had been a real struggle, sharing, “I
to see his career flourish because of who he clearly comfortable in his own skin. never saw myself married, so I had a hard time
is rather than hiding from it. Where some As Rodriguez says, “I have no problem fighting for that, but when someone tells me I

32

can’t, then that sparked a fire within me.”
Thinking back to Queer Eye, Rodriguez
remembers, “It was the largest acting role
I had, because it was really playing a char-
acter. It’s a caffeinated version of who we
were. It kind of did a disservice to who I re-
ally was, [and made it] challenging for me to
sit on Oprah’s couch and talk about dance—
what I wasn’t really an expert about.”
Rodriguez explains that most of the tips
he offered on Queer Eye were taught to him
in the moment, remarking, “I had more in
common with the straight guy.”
Photo by Adam Bouska
Not surprisingly, people still identify
Rodriguez from his role on Queer Eye,
stopping him on the street to ask him how
they look. He confides it has been a bit of a
struggle to reeducate the world that he had
a substantial career before Queer Eye.
Rodriguez relates, “I’ve gotten roles
that aren’t the guy from Queer Eye. Once I
did, people were pleasantly surprised.”
In addition to his acting, Rodriguez has
found success as a recording artist. So, while
it might sound like he has done it all, it’s
abundantly clear he is just getting warmed
up. Since Queer Eye went off the air in 2007,
he has appeared on or hosted a number of
reality television shows. Despite winning an
Emmy for hosting a reality show, he really
doesn’t see himself as a reality star.
Rodriguez shows his versatility as a per-
former in his most recent film, Oy Vey, My
Son is Gay, screening at FilmOut San Di-
ego. The movie, which features John Lloyd
Young as Rodriguez’s love interest, is about a
mother in-law’s journey of acceptance.
Rodriguez comments, “It’s a family
film—what it is like for a parent with the
uncertainty about a son being gay.”
With hundreds of episodes of reality tele-
vision under his belt, Rodriguez found that
working on the film gave him greater confi-
dence as a performer, and was a great oppor-
tunity to speak up for himself: “I learned a lot
on how to be more assertive on film sets.”
The highlight for Rodriguez, though,
was recording a song with legendary song-
writer Desmond Child as part of the film.
Rodriguez will be returning to scripted
TV as a regular on HMS (Harvard Medical
School), a promising new series about a group
of young medical students. It’s a contender to
premiere this fall on the CW network. Rodri-
guez plays Carlos Gutierrez, a first-year med
student who overcomes significant hurdles,
which inspire him to get through medical
school. Portraying a substantive gay charac-
ter, he is looking forward to the opportunity
to infuse more authenticity into the role. The
series has Hayden Panettiere, of Heroes fame,
as co-executive producer.
Rodriguez enthuses, “It’s a great cast.”
HMS comes on the heels of an appear-
ance by Rodriguez as a reporter in the
recent notorious Lady Gaga "Telephone"
music video. A last-minute casting change
won him the part.
As Rodriquez recounts, “I didn’t know it
was going to be racy! I got a call literally at
11 the morning of the shoot. Because I do a
lot of hosting, it has the same feel.”
With no script, Rodriguez injected a
little humor into his character.
LavenderMagazine.com
Despite Rodriguez’s many accomplish-
ments, it is clear that his first love is per-
forming onstage in front of a live audience.
As Rodriguez puts it, “That’s where I’m
truly in my moment.”
33
 Arts & Entertainment > On the Townsend
Execution of Justice. Photo by Elizabeth Hardin
EXECUTION OF JUSTICE
Through Apr. 24
Rarig Center, Univ. of Minn.
330 21st Ave. S., Mpls.
(612) 624-2345
<www.theatre.umn.edu>
Long before the film Milk, or gay-
themed plays like Gross Indecency and The
Laramie Project, Emily Mann drew from
court transcripts and interviews to create
stage drama about the gay-versus-straight
divide. The groundbreaking Execution of
Justice, in both form and content, is about
the trial of Dan White, who assassinated
San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and
Supervisor Harvey Milk in 1978. The play,
which won six Obies, and premiered at the
Guthrie in 1985, now is revived at the Uni-
versity of Minnesota, where Mann earned
her MFA degree.
TWENTY TEN FEST
Through Apr. 25
Bedlam Theatre
1501 S. 6th St., Mpls.
(612) 341-1038
<www.bedlamtheatre.org>
Lots of edgy queer shows run at various times.
April 23-May 6, 2010
Ronnell Wheeler, who wowed us in the
1990s with wonderful takes on race and gay-
ness, is back with A Dry Spell, which involves
a weatherman coming to grips (no pun in-
tended) with his ex-lover and cameraman.
Tom Lloyd and Jon Mac Cole codirect
34
The Topp Twins: Untouchable Girls. Photo Bruce Connew
Walk.It.Off, a piece whose creative devel-
opment had actors flirt with each while
playing volleyball. Lloyd says, “It turns out
most of our characters end up hooking up
with a member of the same sex.”
Walken Schweiger’s Gut Wrenched and
Rising or This Means You’re Gay Now explores
transgender experience in terms of the op-
pressed and the oppressor through the first-
hand experience of the actors themselves.
Jeffry Lusiak dons drag as Puss Puss,
along with Scotty Reynolds as Puss Puss’s
assistant, in Long Day’s Journey Into Puss.
An equally far-out journey is The Loneli-
est Astronaut, about a Space Camp for kids.
Writer Ben Egerman explains that it deals
with “uncertainty around trying to find
yourself in society. For several characters,
this includes realization about sexuality.”
28TH MSP INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL
Through Apr. 30
St. Anthony Main Theatre
115 Main St. SE, Mpls.
<www.mnfilmarts.org>
Once again, our biggest local film fest of-
fers recently released queer-oriented fare.
In the Sundance hit La Mission (April 25
[ by John Townsend ]
and 29), Peter Bratt directs his brother, Ben-
jamin, in the role of Che Rivera, a violent
street patriarch who learns that his brother
leads a secret life, and that his son is gay. The
cast includes Jesse Borrego, of Fame TV se-
ries fame, who starred in Guthrie’s staging of
gay playwright Jean Genet’s The Screens.
The Topp Twins: Untouchable Girls (April
28), which spotlights the lesbian folk and
comedy duo, broke box-office records in
their native New Zealand in 2009. Both
are open and out, known for their adored
crossgender characters, Ken and Ken.
Xavier Dolan wrote I Killed My Mother
(April 27 and 29) when he was 17, and di-
rected it for film when he was 21. This wacky
look at gay teen angst won three Cannes jury
prizes, as well as Best Canadian Feature at
the Vancouver International Film Fest.
BECOMING
Through May 2
Dreamland Arts
677 N. Hamline Ave., St. Paul
(651) 645-5506
<www.muperformingarts.org>
Iris Shiraishi’s one-woman show deals
with cultural identity. She employs the Jap-
anese drumming art of Taiko for which
she is renowned.
Shiraishi shares that her show is about
“coming of age in Hawaii during the
1960s, clashing with my mother’s expecta-
tions of me as the ‘nice girl,’ and about
how we absorb and pass on to our chil-
dren the best and worst experiences of our
past. There’s also a ritual aspect that deals
with my conversion to Judaism.”

DEAD MAN’S CELL PHONE

Through May 2
Park Square Theatre
20 W. 7th Pl., St. Paul
(651) 291-7005
<www.parksquarehtheatre.org>

Sarah Ruhl is American playwriting’s

young shining star under 40. Her quirky
humor and magical sensibility bring to
mind the magical realism of novelist Ga-
briel Garcia Marquez and the madcap
imagination of Lewis Carroll.
Director Matt Sciple, who calls Ruhl a
“fabulist,” observes that her 2007 comedy
“deals with the alienation of technology,
death, the afterlife, and the inability of
human beings to know even their closest
loved ones. It seems to spring from the
deep within the profound logic of dreams.
It jumps across continents and into the
afterlife.”

THE ELABORATE ENTRANCE

OF CHAD DEITY
Through May 2
Mixed Blood Theatre
1501 S. 4th St., Mpls.
(612) 338-6131
<www.mixedblood.com>

Black and white unite against brown.

The buffest and beefiest show in town is
not only the funniest, but also the most
subversive. Playwright Kristoffer Dia in-
geniously blends the bombastic with the
subtle, as he satirizes the racial politics of
rehearsed professional wrestling. Think
WWF, where flesh-and-blood men are
reduced to cartoons come to life. African-
American “Champ” Chad Deity (Ansa
Akyea) and his conniving white manager,
Everett K. Olson (Edwin Strout), finally
have weaseled and muscled their way to
the top. But they must keep abreast of the
times. So, they brainstorm shameless new
LavenderMagazine.com

ways to exploit Latino, South-Asian, and

Muslim stereotypes in order to appeal to
their not-too-bright white audience. Up-
roarious sexy fun!

35
 Arts & Entertainment > The Page Boy
Books Do Furnish a
Room
LESLIE GEDDES-BROWN
MERRELL
$39.95
Warning: You may lose yourself
in wonder and awe at the myriad
collections of books depicted.
A Costa Rican library of 17,000
volumes is raised on stilts to
protect it from local damp and
termite predation. Books are
shelved, piled in the “every
available space” technique. Some
books fit the architect’s design,
and others are the owner’s archi-
tecture. A 1670 library in Turin
shelves leather-bound volumes
by size, surrounding a circular
bookcase rising from terra-cotta
tiles. In smaller dwellings, one
finds dado strips over stair-
cases, while staircases themselves
become book repositories. The
title, taken from the 10th volume
in novelist Anthony Powell’s
Dance to the Music of Time, per-
fectly encompasses the gorgeous
photographs. Plunge in anywhere
and enjoy, but for the categori-
cally minded, Geddes-Brown has
divided the delicacies into “Liv-
ing with Books”; “Working with
Books”; “Designing for Books”;
April 23--May 6 2010
and “Making the Most of Books.”
A mouthwatering volume to
read—then stack, toss, file, or
pile according to your personal
library system.
36
Midnight at the
Barrelhouse: The Johnny
Otis Story
GEORGE LIPSITZ
UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA PRESS
$24.95
Born John Veliotes in 1921 to
Greek immigrants, Johnny Otis
(a name he legally adopted later)
grew up in a heavily black area
of Berkeley, California. Drawn
to black music and culture,
young Otis became what might
be termed “transcultural”—he
called it “black by persuasion.”
Self-taught, he became proficient
on the drums, vibraphone, and
piano, but one might say his
greatest talent was finding and
promoting black artists, and giv-
ing them their due—often denied
by white-owned record labels.
He did not just give lip service to
his adopted family, but marched
for civil rights, and wrote a
column for a leading black news-
paper, the Los Angeles Sentinel.
In 1941, Otis married Phyllis
Walker—in Nevada, because
interracial marriages were illegal
in California. Highlighting a
stellar array of black talent, and
the gauntlet they had to run in a
white-run world, Lipsitz portrays
the hate and bigotry meted out to
Greek and other immigrants in
1920s America.
My Father and I: The
Marais and the
Queerness of Community
DAVID CARON
CORNELL UNIVERSITY PRESS
$29.95
Caron observes this oldest of
Parisian neighborhoods through
the multiple lenses of urban stud-
ies, history, sociology, queerness,
and filial love. His father, Joseph
Gottlieb, was Hungarian, Jewish,
French, Israeli—and the parent
of a gay son. Caron realizes the
implication about himself in
his statement, “I have failed as
a father.” He muses, “From the
family’s institutional perspective,
all queer children are failures,
since they signify the disruption
of filiation.” What community
do the two share, then? What
defines community? How do
they experience the Marais from
their different contexts of time,
culture, and sexuality? Caron,
through a historical sweep from
its beginning to the present,
touches on the communities
of Jews, Chinese immigrants,
and gays who have claimed the
territory—against the wishes of
the state, Caron notes, because
the French hold to a “concept of
universal citizenship that denies
them all political legitimacy.” A
moving tale of (often-failed) in-
tersectionality ranging from the
intimate to the global and back.
[ by E.B. Boatner ]
Parisian Hideaways:
Exquisite Rooms in
Enchanting Hotels
CASEY O’BRIEN BLONDES
PHOTOGRAPHY BY BÉATRICE
AMAGAT
RIZZOLI
$45
Between these warm, invit-
ing covers nestle 30 Parisian
hideaways, where you are invited
to stay, corporeally or in your
imagination. The book’s endpa-
pers are pleasingly colored maps
of the city with all the venues
marked—7 cluster closely on the
Left Bank around the Boulevard
Sainte Germaine, 10 on the
northern Right Bank loosely
about the upper Champs Elysées
and the Arc de Triomphe, while
others touch on Batignolles,
Montmartre, and Marais. The
author has chosen to present
three- and four-star establish-
ments for their “authenticity,
panache, personalized service,
and discretion.” One criterion,
family or manager ownership,
is reflected in the intimacy and
attention to detail shown in the
photos. For example, the Pavillon
de la Reine, in the heart of the
Marais, was built to honor the
royal marriage of Anne of Austria
to Louis XIII in 1615 (when they
were both 14). Each illustrated
vignette is accompanied by the
address and website for your
traveling convenience.
 LavenderMagazine.com

37
 > Arts & Entertainment
Lavender’s OUT at the Movies Screens Twin
Cities Premiere of redwoods
Spring brings two wonderful things:
The first, and best for Twin Citians, is the
warm weather that gets us all out of our
homes for the first time in months; the
second is the spring edition of Lavender’s
OUT at the Movies.
Making its local premiere is redwoods. It’s
the story of a love so strong that one man is
willing to risk everything to follow his heart.
Everett, played by Brendan Bradley, has
everything a gay man ever could want: a
loving boyfriend, Miles (Tad Coughenour),
and a beautiful son they raise together as
a family. The problem is that their life is
comfortably platonic, and the only thing
keeping them together is their son. When
Miles and their son travel out of town,
Everett is relieved to have time to himself
finally—that is, until a strikingly handsome
April 23--May 6 2010
38
writer, Chase (Matthew Montgomery),
pulls into his driveway, and Everett realizes
how much he truly is missing in life.
Written and directed by David Lewis,
redwoods has been called “an extraordinary
piece of filmmaking that truly moves you”
by GaydarNation, and “the perfect night in
for gay romantics…a simple tale of unshak-
able love beautifully captured” by Gaycel
luloid.com.
Screening at the intimate Heights The-
atre in Columbia Heights, this film is sure
to be a hit for all in attendance.
redwoods
May 12
Heights Theatre
3951 Central Ave. NE, Columbia Heights
Tickets: $10 in advance; $15 at the door
<www.lavendermagazine.com/outatthemovies>
 LavenderMagazine.com

39
 Bar Advertiser Guide | Bartender Spotlight |
[ by George Holdgrafer ]

07
ve.
3rd A
E
N
e.
l Av
W n tra Hennepin Ave. Larpenteur Ave. Larpenteur Ave.
as Ce

Dale St.
hin
gto

Snelling Ave.
05 1s
02 n A t St
Ave
. ve . N
ve. pin . . Univ Minnehaha Ave.
1st A 06 ne ersit
Hen
15 ve. 08 y Av
e.
th tA
01 S t. olle University Ave. t.
Nic 09 hS
7t
.
Ave
in
nep

03 Ro
26th Ave. S.
Selby Ave.
Hen

04 be
Lake St. rt
St.
Grand Ave.

01 19 BAR 07 LUSH
19 W. 15th St., Mpls. 990 Central Ave. NE, Mpls.
(612) 871-5553 <www.lushfoodbar.com>
Shoot pool or play darts at your neighborhood bar— Great Food. Happy Hour Wed.-Sat. ’Til 8 PM. Wed.

▼
the Twin Cities’s oldest GLBT establishment. $1 Drinks. Thu. Show Tunes. No Cover. Free Parking. CRAIG
02 BRASS RAIL LOUNGE 08 TICKLES
422 Hennepin. Ave., Mpls.
(612) 332-RAIL (7245) 420 S. 4th St., Minneapolis
<www.thebrassraillounge.com> (612) 354-3846
Completely remodeled elegant lounge featuring variety
<www.ticklesbar.com>
of entertainment: live piano, karaoke, male dancers.
Live Piano Music. Full-Service Menu, Happy Hour,
Sports on 10 Flat-Panel TVs, Pool, Darts.
WHO
Craig
03 CAMP 09 TOWN HOUSE
490 N. Robert St., St. Paul
(651) 292-1844 PIANO LOUNGE WHAT
<www.camp-bar.net> 1415 University Ave. W., St. Paul Recipe: Bubble Gum Blow Out
An upscale but casual spot with great video, dancing, (651) 646-7087 2 oz. Three Olives Bubble Vodka
cabaret, and the friendliest staff in town! <www.townshousebar.com>
Town House Splash of Galliano
04 FUSION Fun neighborhood bar with a great mix of men and Splash of Grenadine
2919 Hennepin Ave., Mpls women. Karaoke. Drag shows. Healthy Splash of Red Bull
(612) 824-6300 Piano Lounge Shake vigorously. Pour into a chilled
<www.fusionmpls.com> That’s entertainment! Friday: Karaoke (Twyla). Satur-
Daily Happy Hour 4-6 PM. 1/2 price beer, sushi, day: Lori Dokken & Friends. Sunday:
martini glass.
spring rolls. $4 signature martinis. Bottomless glasses Karaoke (John). Monday: Men’s Night.
of wine! WHEN
05 GAY 90’S MEGABAR Mon.-Tue., Fri. • 2-8 PM
408 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. Superior • Wed.-Thu. • 9 PM-2 AM
(612) 333-7755
<www.gay90s.com> Wisconsin
Gay 90’s WHERE
Upper Midwest’s Largest Gay Entertainment Com- Town House
plex. Serving reasonably priced menu in main bar 1415 University Ave. W., St. Paul
Wednesday-Sunday. (651) 646-7087
Dance Annex WI THE FLAME
Awesome DJs deliver latest in dance, techno, and hot <www.townhousebar.com>
1612 Tower Ave., Superior
gay anthems for your dancing pleasure. (715) 395-0101
Happy Hour <www.SuperiorFlame.com> WHY
Newly remodeled. Open longest hours of any local
GLBT bar. State-of-the art sound/video. “I may serve 40 different fun
La Femme Show Lounge WI THE MAIN CLUB martinis every Monday and Tuesday,
The Ladies of La Femme present the Twin Cities’s best 1217 Tower Ave., Superior but I’m far from “tini.” Speaking
female impersonator show Thursday-Sunday. (715) 392-1756 of which, stay for Men’s Night with
Men’s Room <www.mainclubsuperior.com>
It’s a guy thing (ladies beware!). Hot men in a sizzling Ryan Mondays.”
scene. Best male dancers.
Retro Bar
April 23--May 6 2010

Just what its name says. Fabulous DJs reprise the best
of the ’70s through ’90s.

06 GLADIUS
1111 Hennepin Ave., Mpls.
(612) 332-9963
<www.gladiusbar.com>
The New York Chic of Minneapolis. Gladius God-
desses Tuesday. Killer B's Karaoke Wednesday.

40
 LavenderMagazine.com

41
 Bar Scene > Bar Showcase [ Photos by George Holdgrafer ]

GLADIUS
April 15
April 23--May 6 2010

42
 Bar Scene > Bar Calendar
For club addresses, phone numbers, and Web FRIDAY, APRIL 23
sites, see “Bar Advertiser Guide” on page 40. Gary Collins THURSDAY, APRIL 29
For events not at bars, see <LavenderMagazine. 5 PM. Tickles. Dining Out for Life
com/calendar>. Mia Dorr Benefits The Aliveness Project
9 PM. Tickles. Fusion • Gay 90’s • Lush • Tickles
All Four Are Platinum-Level Sponsors
SATURDAY, APRIL 24 Jesse Roles
A Year To Remember 5:30 PM. Tickles.
Imperial Court of Minnesota
PR Ball XVIII FRIDAY, APRIL 30
5 PM. Gay 90’s. Gary Collins
Red Hot Drag Contest 5 PM. Tickles.
8 PM. Lush. Mia Dorr
Jeff Olson 9 PM. Tickles.
9 PM. Tickles.
SATURDAY, MAY 1
SUNDAY, APRIL 25 Red Hot Drag Contest
A.K. Stewart 8 PM. Lush.
7 PM. Tickles. Jeff Olson
9 PM. Tickles.
MONDAY, APRIL 26 Lip Service
RuPaul’s Drag Race Finals: 9 PM. Town House.
Second Season Official Viewing Party
8 PM. Happy Hour Bar. Gay 90’s. SUNDAY, MAY 2
Twin Cities Gay Pool League
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28 Year-End Tournament
VIP Card Party 12:30 PM. Tickles.
6 PM. Happy Hour Bar. Gay 90’s.
Jason Richards
6 PM. Tickles.
April 23--May 6 2010

44
 LavenderMagazine.com

45
 Bar Scene > Bar Lens [ Photos by Sophia Hantzes ]

RAINBOW FAMILIES CONFERENCE

April 10
Anwatin/Bryn Mawr Schools, Minneapolis
April 23--May 6 2010

46
 LavenderMagazine.com

47
 April 23--May
March 6 2010
12–25, 2010

48
48
Cuisine > Off the Eaten Path

THE LOCAL
OFFERS TASTY FOOD TO ACCOMPANY JAMESON DRINKS
 [ by Heidi Fellner ]

had been to The Local before, grabbing a few
drinks with friends, either during happy hour or
while watching a soccer game. It’s an enjoyable
place to hang out for either occasion. The pub-
appropriate decor instantly whisks you away from
The Local. Photos by Hubert Bonnet
I
the Midwest, and the patronage is wonderfully diverse.
You can’t get much better for a game-watching venue.
But I never had considered it a place one would go spe-
cifically to eat, and in that sentiment, I believe I am in
good company.

LavenderMagazine.com

49
 Fish & Chips. Mission Salad.

IT WAS WITH THE MISSION SALAD, HOWEVER, THAT HEAD CHEF JASON HICKS LED US
DECIDEDLY OUT OF “PUB” TERRITORY AND INTO RESTAURANT FARE.

Not that The Local is hurting for busi-
ness, mind you. The establishment sells more
Jameson Irish Whiskey than any other bar
or restaurant on Planet Earth. Quite proud
of that fact, it’s happy to showcase two signa-
ture Jameson cocktails: traditional Irish Cof-
fee ($6) and Jameson Julep ($6). If a heavy-
duty mint julep isn’t your usual favorite, give
April 23--May 6 2010
istence is almost a foregone conclusion for
a bar that prides itself on its Jameson selec-
tion. I’m a Scotch drinker myself, and a die-
hard fan of just about every smoky, wicked
single malt made north of Hadrian’s Wall.
I didn’t expect to enjoy Jameson as much
as I did. It has less of a bite than Scotch,
thanks to its extra trip through distillation,
and come away with the same understand-
ing. Better yet, belly up to the bar at The
Local. Isn’t education grand?
This was the point in the evening when
many of The Local’s patrons drop out.
That is sad, because the kitchen also has
something to offer a student of life.
If you’re just in for appetizers, Chicken

The Local’s very mild and refreshing version
a try. It’s hard to go wrong with Irish coffee,
but I found The Local’s to be exceptionally
smooth—not too bitter, not too sweet.
We sampled one of the flights for $15.
They technically are off-menu, but their ex-
and that simple modification results in a
noticeably smoother finish. Age affects the
whiskey as well. A flight is the perfect way
to understand how a different distillation
method, or another few years in the barrel,
affects the liquor. One could take a class,
Shots ($7.99) is one of the signature dishes.
The “shots” portion of the name refers to
the tangy Irish whiskey glaze that coats these
lightly battered chicken tenders. Perhaps it’s
the fresh scallions that give this appetizer a
decidedly Asian feel, but nevertheless, it

50
 LavenderMagazine.com

51
 Trinity of Temptation.

BOTTOM LINE, IT WAS THE BEST MEATLOAF I EVER HAVE HAD, YET TO SAY THAT
ALMOST DOESN’T GIVE THE DISH ITS FULL DUE.

goes swimmingly with Jameson. Sweet Po-
tato Stuffed Mushrooms ($6.99), too, are
made to share. Just be sure to cut into one,
and let the steam out, before popping it in
your mouth. The smell of the garlic and bleu
cheese topping is altogether too tempting.
It was with the Mission Salad ($7.99),
however, that Head Chef Jason Hicks led
April 23-May 6, 2010
or salmon skewers for an additional $4. The
figs and the cambozola are a match made in
dairy heaven. If you haven’t had opportuni-
ty to try cambozola, it is a rich, creamy bleu
cheese that derives its apt name from both
Camembert and Gorgonzola. Ask your
server’s advice on the dressing. My dining
partner and I found the creamy poppy seed
flaky, with housemade fries and tartar sauce.
If you’re in the mood for something a
little heartier, Lighthouse Farm Meatloaf
($14.99) is absolutely breathtaking. Bottom
line, it was the best meatloaf I ever have
had, yet to say that almost doesn’t give the
dish its full due. Meatloaf usually doesn’t
garner much praise, but if everyone had

us decidedly out of “pub” territory, and into
restaurant fare. This pretty plate of sun-
dried mission figs, Granny Smith apples,
cambozola cheese, and toasted walnuts
over a bed of greens can be topped with
your choice of chicken, tofu, sirloin steak,
to be perfect, especially with the salmon
skewers. But the citrus vinaigrette is ru-
mored to be fantastic.
Of course, The Local couldn’t hold its
head high if it didn’t serve Fish & Chips
($11). Hicks’s generous version is light and
this meatloaf, critics quickly would change
their tune. At The Local, the meatloaf—
light, flavorful, and moist—is topped with
fragrant wild mushroom sauce. Homemade
mashed potatoes and crispy fried onions
complete the dish. Nothing’s left to say ex-

52
(Above) Lighthouse Farm Meatloaf. (Below) Chicken Shots.

cept “bravo.”
The Local offers its Trinity of Tempta-
tion if you’re left wanting something sweet
after the main course. Three individually
sized, housemade desserts are more than
enough for two to share: chocolate mousse
cake, cheesecake, and apple crème brûlée
tart. Each can be ordered individually for
just $2.50, but with the Trinity at only
$6.99, all three are an absolute steal.
LavenderMagazine.com

The Local
931 Nicollet Mall, Mpls.
(612) 904-1000
<www.the-local.com>

53
 The Network
Lavender Lens >
Accounting & Computer Sales &
Bookkeeping Services Services_____________
___ [Photos by Sophia Hantzes ]

PFUND MOXIE AWARDS

APRIL 13
MACALESTER COLLEGE
ST. PAUL

Adult Products_______
Financial Services______

Astrology_____________

Automotive____________
Funeral Services___ __

Barbers_______________ Home Services___

April 23-May 6, 2010

54
 The Network
Calendar | Home Services__________________________
[ LavenderMagazine.com ]

SATURDAY, APRIL 24
Savor Minnesota: The Best of Minnesota Wine,
Food & Beer. This one-and-only wine, food, and beer
show is dedicated to showcasing only Minnesota-
grown and -produced products. Enjoy Minnesota-
grown wines from 16 different Minnesota wineries,
plus Minnesota beers and foods, at the Canterbury
Park clubhouse. Doors open at Noon. Wine and Beer
poured 1-5 PM. Canterbury Park, Shakopee. <www.
savorminnesota.com>.
Seward Co-op 9th Annual CSA Fair. Join in and be
part of the rising demand for Community Supported
Agricultural (CSA) farm shares. The CSA Fair provides
a once-a-year opportunity for local shoppers to meet
the farmers who produce their food, and potentially
purchase a “share” of their farms in exchange for fresh,
locally farmed produce, meat, and diary. 11 AM-3 PM.
Seward Co-op Grocery & Deli, 2823 E. Franklin Ave.,
Mpls. (612) 338-2465. <www.seward.coop>.

MONDAY, APRIL 26
Working Life Through Untold Stories. Celebrating
12 years with more than a month of programming, this
event tells about food industry workers and our food
system. It kicks off with “From Field to Table: Work-
ers in the Food System Marking Change.” Listen as
the University of Minnesota’s Department of Chicano
Studies and Centro Campesino examine the current
agricultural system from a global, national, and local
lens. 7 PM. Riverview Branch Library, 1 E. George St.,
St. Paul. Runs through May 19. Visit <www.thefriends.
org> or call (651) 222-3242 for more on event dates
and times.

THURSDAY, APRIL 29

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Live. Photo Courtesy of Hennepin Theatre Trust

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Live. Yep. That’s right. The

talking milkshake, a floating box of fries, and a ball of
meat are coming to Minneapolis live. Well, not really,
but creators Dave Willis and Dana Snyder are. They
are mixing TV clips, music, character impressions—
and, of course, audience participation—for what is
guaranteed to be a fun night. 8 PM. Pantages Theatre,
710 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. (800) 982-2787. <www.Hen-
nepinTheatreTrust.org>.
LavenderMagazine.com

The Key to Tomorrow’s Health: Healing on the

Spiritual Path through the Teachings of Bruno
Groening. Listen to medical specialists from around
the world, as they present lectures about the special
way of healing available for everyone. Physicians will
speak about people who have experienced healing

55
 The Network
Home Services_______ Insurance______ ______
Calendar |
from severe, chronic, and even so-called “incurable”
diseases, with medical documents to show the power
that widely has been forgotten in modern medicine. 7
PM. Univ. of Minn., Mayo Building, Auditorium 3-100,
420 Delaware St. SE. (612) 521-1712.

SATURDAY, MAY 1
Living Green Expo. For the past eight years, more
than 100,000 Minnesotans have made the expo a
spring tradition for a reason. With the help of Min-
nesota Environmental Partnership, the Living Green
Expo is back for its ninth—and most exciting—year.
More than 250 exhibits and displays teach everything
from simple tips to living greener to more complex
ways to change lifestyles, including carbon footprints,
safety from toxins, eating local, and much more. May
1-2. Minnesota State Fairgrounds Grandstand, 1265
N. Snelling Ave., St. Paul. <www.livinggreenexpo.
mn>.

SUNDAY, MAY 2
36th Annual MayDay Parade and Festival. Join In
the Heart of the Beast Puppet and Mask Theatre for
its annual MayDay Parade and Festival. It’s a great
time to celebrate the warmth with hand-built puppets
and masks, some of which are more than 10 feet tall.
Parade begins 1 PM at the intersection of Blooming-
ton Ave. and 26th St., Minneapolis, moving up Bloom-
ington Ave. to Powderhorn Park, with the festival con-
tinuing until 7 PM. <www.hobt.org/mayday>.

Medical Services______

Walk MS. Photo Courtesy of Walk MS: Christopher & Banks Twin Cities Walk

Walk MS: Christopher & Banks Twin Cities Walk

2010. Organized by the National Multiple Sclerosis
Society Minnesota Chapter, it is just one of 18 walks
across Minnesota and Western Wisconsin on May 2.
April 23-May 6, 2010

The goal is raising awareness and funds to help find a

cure for multiple sclerosis, an unpredictable and often
disabling disease of the central nervous system that
affects nearly 10,000 Minnesotans and more than 2.5
million worldwide. Minnehaha Park, Mpls. Check-in
8-10 AM. Walkers may begin 8-10:30 AM. (800) 582-
5296. <walkMSmn.org>.

56
 The Network
Pet Products&Services_ Psychotherapy_______
Tickets
TICKETSon SaleON SALE

CATS. The winner of seven Tony Awards, including

Best Musical, which features 20 of Andrew Lloyd Web-
ber’s timeless melodies, is hitting the stage in the
Twin Cities. One of the best-known musicals in recent
memory, CATS is a must-see for any theater enthusi-
ast. May 14-16. Orpheum Theatre, 910 Hennepin Ave.,
Mpls. (800) 982-2787. <www.ticketmaster.com>.

Wicked. Photo by Joan Marcus

Wicked. Something wicked this way comes…again.

The musical sensation known as Wicked is making its
way back to Minneapolis, with more than a month-
long stay this time. It tells the story of the Wicked
Witch of the West. Find out the truth behind the
fable. Tickets on sale for season ticket holders, do-
nors, and groups of 20 or more. Aug. 11-Sept. 19.
Orpheum Theatre, 910 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. (800)
982-2787. <www.ticketmaster.com>.

ONGOING
Ongoing

¡Carnaval! Showcasing costumes, masks, musical

instruments, photos, and video from eight interna-
tional cities via the National Endowment for the Hu-
Psychotherapy_______
manities on the Road exhibit, ¡Carnaval! is filled with
fun learning activities for the entire family. Through
May 25. Hennepin County Library-Minneapolis Cen-
tral Branch, 300 Nicollet Mall, Mpls. (952) 847-8665.
<www.hclib.org>.
How To Talk Minnesotan: The Musical. Ever wanted
to talk like a true Minnesotan? Now’s your chance. Come
out for a night of education, as you’re treated to the
beloved classics “Hotdish Hallelujah,” “Northwoods
Woman,” and “Brothers in Ice,” along with some easy-
to-follow lessons underscored by advertising spots and
jingles. Wed.-Sun. Through May 30. Plymouth Play-
house, 2705 Annapolis Lane N., Plymouth. (763) 553-
Real Estate__________
1600. <www.plymouthplayhouse.com>.
Planning a Remodel. Need help with that home proj-
ect you planned? Castle Building & Remodeling holds
bimonthly classes to help you figure out everything
you need to know to get started. Classes are limited
to only 12 people, so RSVP well in advance to the
one you wish to attend. 5:30-7 PM. For complete list
of classes, locations, and topics, visit <www.castlebri.
com/classschedule.html>.
We2. Form+Content Gallery reveals new paintings by
local artist Jim Dryden. Inspired by the words and im-
ages of Walt Whitman and David Hockney, the gallery
will be filled with double portraits in a variety of sizes,
LavenderMagazine.com

with a seemingly endless array of expressions and

personalities using bright colors in surprising combi-
nations. Through May 15. Form+Content Gallery, 210
N. 2nd St., Ste. 104, Mpls. (612) 436-1151. <www.for
mandcontent.org>.

57
 The Network

Real Estate__________
April 23-May 6, 2010

58
Classifieds
Employment
GENESIS II- PROGRAMS MANAGER -
The Programs Manager holds a highly vis-
ible position in the agency. He/she must
demonstrate effective verbal and written
communication skills as well as being highly
detailed orientated. It is the responsibility of
the Program Manager to manage services for
families, supervise staff, and to coordinate re-
ferrals and staffing. Salary and benefits com-
petitive. To apply, submit resume and cover
letter by MAY 5, 2010 to Ann Gaasch at gen-
esis2@genesis2.org. No calls please.
Health/Fitness
501 FIT. Strength with Class. Improve your
life. Fun, Effective and Affordable Strength
Training Classes. Try “1” Class for FREE! 501
Washington Ave. S. 3rd Fl., Minneapolis, MN.
(612) 767-4415. www.501fit.com.
GET REAL FITNESS - Helps you get Rock
Hard. Be hot and buff for summer. Invest in
your personalized training routine today and
get the body you deserve. Free consultation:
(952) 486-3344 or get-real-fitness.com.
Home Furnishings
COTTAGE HOUSE • An Occasional Market
• Next sale: GARDEN FEVER! • MAY 5, 6, 7,
8, 9. Wed: 1 - 8pm. Thurs-Fri 10am-7pm, Sat-
Sun: 10am - 6pm • 4304 Chicago Ave. S., Min-
neapolis, MN.
FLAMINGOS • An Occasional Market • Next
sales: Wednesday - Sunday, May 5-9, 10am -
6pm • 3404 Cedar Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN
(612) 767-4548.
Home Services
Handyman Services Available for your Spring
Projects. Professional. Insured. Oriel Flores
(612) 385-2102
House Cleaning
T. THOMAS LIDDELL, Residential cleaning.
Dependable - Honest. Excellent references.
Weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, flexible sched-
ules. tliddellcleaning@yahoo.com. Call Terry:
(612) 834-4887.
CLEANING MASTER INC. - Owner oper-
ated. Serving the community since 1997. I’m
responsible, honest & respectful. I have kept
clients 12 years. (612) 521-9658.
The Maids Home Services gives you the
healthiest, most thorough housecleaning,
guaranteed! Supervised teams, bonded, in-
sured, environmentally safe cleaning products
are why Nobody Outcleans The Maids. Free
estimates (952) 929-6243. www.maids.com.
Pet Products/Services
1 Male and 1 Female English Bulldog. If you
are interested in the puppies contact me via
email: stevescot111@gmail.com.
Photographers
Rogue Photography has a unique vision and is
passionate about her photography. Call Ann
for your family portraits, weddings, senior
pics, pets, and real estate listings. 612-308-
1488 www.roguephotography.com
Psychotherapy
Dennis Christian, LICSW: Pay attention to
thoughts, feelings, relationships; reconcile
unwanted aspects of yourself; accept
impossible but inevitable situations, face the
frightening but changeable ones; realize the
true beauty of your inner Self. (612) 940-7033.
www.dennischristian.com.
Psychotherapy
IRENE GREENE, MSEd, Psychotherapist:
24 years experience. Individual, Couples
Counseling, Mediation. Life changes,
relationship, gender, sexuality, parenting,
anger, anxiety, depression. Coming Out,
Sexual Abuse, DID Groups. Sliding fee.
Professional, nonjudgmental, confidential.
(612) 874-6442. irenegreene@earthlink.net.
Are you in crisis, feeling depressed or strug-
gling with life? Do you need to talk to a men-
tal health professional now? Call Tris Casciaro,
MA LPC, 1-866-864-8924. Accepts Visa/MC/
AmEx/Discover.
Dan Maki, MA, LMFT - Individual Couples
& Family Therapy. Helping people build
confidence, hope and fulfillment in life and
relationships. Office now located at 394 and
100 in St. Louis Park. (952) 544-6806. www.
danmaki.com.
Real Estate
LOG CABIN 900 square feet well and septic
on 20 acres less than a mile from lake Superior
near Port Wing, WI. Gay neighbors, Pictures
available upon request. $99K. FESTUS1970@
yahoo.com.
CATHEDRAL HILL CONDO - Five minutes
from downtown St. Paul. Reduced 53K. Asking
$249,900. Aberdeen. Corner of Western and
Marshall. Bright corner unit fourth floor.
Hardwood Floors. Cherry Cabinets. Granite.
Stainless. Washer/Dryer. Heated underground
parking. Sharon Smith, RE/MAX Results, (651)
308-0377.http://www.results.net/sharon.
smith/Property/MN/55102/St_Paul/370_
Marshall_Ave_411.
Real Estate
Rentals-Residential
LORING PARK - Classic 2 BR & Den. Natural
woodwork, hardwood floors, dishwasher, bal-
cony, offstreet parking available. Overlooks
lake, blocks to downtown. $1,100/month in-
cludes heat, cooking, water. Rent specials. (651)
373-0603.
TILSNER ARTIST LOFTS – 2 BR ONLY $995.
Art Crawl is coming up…. Live in the action!
Pinewood floors, amazing spaces. Tilsner.net or
Call: (651) 203-6704.
CHASKA’S LUXURY COMMUNITY - 1 & 2
Bedroom Homes. Cats & Small Dogs Welcome,
Exceptional Value – Heat Included. Washer/
Dryer in your Home, Spacious Floor Plans, Ga-
rage Available. Call about our Specials. (952)
448-9201. Warm & Inviting – A Must See! www.
firstselectequities.com.
Real Estate
Rentals-Residential
Longfellow Neighborhood • $875, 2-Bedroom
apartment. First floor unit in a co-operatively
owned 4-plex. Hardwood floors, washer dryer.
OPEN HOUSE Sunday April 25, 11am to 1pm
or contact TraceyJoy, (612) 600-0506.
Roommates
Classy guy with car to share NewYorky 2 BR, 2
BA apartment in Golden Valley. Huge heated
pool open May 15-Sept. 15th. Pets OK. Under-
ground parking. (763) 544-2783.
Spa Services
THE SPA by PetertGlaser@yahoo.com. 2736
Hennepin, UPTOWN. 612.986.4929 Catering to
the Beauty Rituals for all Men and Women. Hand-
crafted Natural Facials. Body and Brazilian Waxing
and Trimming. Manicures. Pedicures. Massage.
Therapeutic Massage
FULL BODY DEEP TISSUE MASSAGE. Relax &
Unwind from Head to Toe. Private S. Mpls Studio.
Music, Candles, Jacuzzi, Full Bath. In/Out Calls. 7
days. 10am - 10pm. (612) 388-8993. Keith.
FULL BODY MASSAGE. Warm relaxing atmo-
sphere, Minneapolis. Hour Massage $60.00.
Shower Available. (612) 219-6743. 7 days a week,
10 am - 10 pm. Therapist: 5’10, 167#, 32 waist.
LavenderMagazine.com
GAY FUN SPA!!! Totally Unique Experience.
Get Pampered, Have Fun! Wanna know more?
Kevin, (612) 229-0001.
STRONG & RELAXING hands, resulting in
bodywork at its best! Bruck, MT, DC in South
Minneapolis @ (612) 306-6323.
59
 Community Connection
Community Connection brings visi-
bility to local GLBT-friendly non-prof-
it organizations. To reserve your list-
ing in Community Connection, call
612-436-4698 or email advertising@
lavendermagazine.com.
Addiction & Treatment
Hazelden
Providing comprehensive treatment,
recovery solutions. Helping people reclaim
their lives from the disease of addiction.
P.O. Box 11
15251 Pleasant Valley Rd Center City, MN
(800) 257-7800 www.hazelden.org
AIDS/HIV & Treatment
Aliveness Project, The
Community Center for Individuals Living
with HIV/AIDS -- On-site Meals, Food Shelf
and Supportive Services.
730 East 38th St. Minneapolis, MN
(612) 824-LIFE (5433) www.aliveness.org
HIM Program
One of the Red Door Services of the
Hennepin County Public Health Clinic.
525 Portland Ave. 4th Floor
Minneapolis, MN
(612) 348-9100
www.himprogram.org
www.StopSyphilisNOW.org
www.CrystalClearMN.org
www.inSPOT.org/Minnesota
MAP AIDSline
MAP AIDSLine is the confidential statewide
toll-free HIV information
and referral service.
1400 Park Ave. Minneapolis, MN
(612) 373-AIDS (metro) or
(800) 248-AIDS (statewide)
mapaidsline@mnaidsproject.org
www.mnaidsproject.org
Park House
Day Health / Mental Health Treatment
Program for Adults Living with HIV/AIDS.
710 E. 24th Street, Suite 303
Minneapolis, MN
(612) 871-1264
www.allina.com/ahs/anw.nsf/page/
park_house_home
U of MN Research Studies
Looking for HIV+ and HIV- individuals to
participate in research studies.
420 Delaware Street SE
Minneapolis, MN
(612) 625-7472
Art Galleries
Minneapolis Institute of Arts
Enjoy Masterpieces From All Over The
World And Every Period Of Human
History. Free Admission Daily!
2400 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN
(612) 870-3000 www.artsmia.org
Zeitgeist Arts Cafe
Duluth’s newest dining experience offering
contemporary American dining and full
bar in an art-filled setting.
222 E. Superior St.
Duluth, MN (218) 722-9100
2010
www.zeitgeistartscafe.com
23–May6,6,2010
Education
Art Institutes International
April 23-May
Minnesota
Helping prepare students for careers in the
visual and practical arts.
April
15 South 9th Street
Minneapolis, MN (612) 332-3361
www.artinstitutes.edu/minneapolis
60
Minnesota Online High School Radio K 770 One Voice Mixed Chorus
State-approved, public online high school Radio K is the award-winning student-run Passionate about building community and
open to any Minnesota resident in grades radio station of the University of Minnesota creating social change by raising our
9 through 12. 330 21st Ave. S. voices in song.
1313 Fifth St. SE, Ste. 227 610 Rarig Center 732 Holly Ave. Ste. Q Saint Paul, MN
Minneapolis, MN (800) 764-8166 University of Minnesota (651) 298-1954
www.mnohs.org Minneapolis, MN www.ovmc.org operations@ovmc.org
(612) 625-3500 www.radiok.org
Events Ordway Center for the Performing
Minneapolis Bike Tour Performing Arts Arts
Annual bike ride in September supporting Ballet of the Dolls Hosting, presenting, and creating
Minneapolis Parks. Fully supported route, Resident Company of Newly Renovated performing arts and educational programs
refreshments and music in finish area. Ritz Theater. Twin Cities first year-round that enrich diverse audiences.
2117 West River Rd. dance-theater program. 345 Washington St.
Minneapolis, MN 35 13th Ave. NE St. Paul, MN
(612) 230-6400 Minneapolis, MN (612) 623-7660 (651) 224-4222
www.minneapolisbiketour.com www.ritzdolls.org www.ordway.org
mplsbiketour@minneapolisparks.org
Brazen Theatre Park Square Theatre
Red Ribbon Ride
Four-day Bike Ride in July Benefiting Eight
Plays, Musicals, Cabaret and Other Creating entertainment that matters;
Entertainment for Adventurous Audiences. transporting you to unique worlds through
HIV/AIDS Service Organizations See Individual Ads for Venue
in Minnesota. exceptional talent and masterful stories.
(414) 248-6481 20 West Seventh Pl. Saint Paul, MN
4457 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN www.brazentheatre.org
(612) 822-2110 www.redribbonride.org (651) 291-7005
www.parksquaretheatre.org
Flower Shop Project
Fitness Producing new and local works of theatre
The Minnesota Opera
YWCA of Minneapolis that are smart, ballsy and fundamentally
Healthy Me. Healthy Community. entertaining. America’s most exciting opera company
Co-ed, full-service health clubs. At Bryant-Lake Bowl & Patrick’s Cabaret has launched a new GLBTA group
Locations in Downtown, Midtown Minneapolis, MN “Out at the Opera!”
and Uptown (612) 388-8628 620 N. First St.
2808 Hennepin Avenue South www.theflowershopproject.com Minneapolis, MN
Minneapolis, MN (612) 342-9550
(612) 874-7131 Guthrie Theater www.mnopera.org
www.ywcampls.org Come On In! Performances, Classes,
Dining, Tours. Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus
Health & Wellness 818 South 2nd St. Minneapolis, MN
(612) 377-2224 www.guthrietheater.org
An award-winning chorus that builds
community through music and offers
Rainbow Health Initiative
Working to improve the health of LGBTQ entertainment worth coming out for!
Hennepin Theatre Trust 528 Hennepin Ave., Suite 307
Minnesotans through education, clinical Orpheum, State and Pantages Theatres
practice, outreach, and advocacy. RHI is Minneapolis, MN
Twin Cities’ best live entertainment: (612) 339-SONG (7664)
the lead agency for the MN Tobacco-free Broadway shows, music concerts, comedy,
Lavender Communities. chorus@tcgmc.org www.tcgmc.org
dance and more!
611-A West Lake Street Minneapolis, MN
Minneapolis, MN University of Minnesota Theatre
(612) 673-0404 Arts and Dance
877-499-7744 www.HennepinTheatreDistrict.org
www.rainbowhealth.org Educating artists and audiences through a diverse
www.mntlc.org mix of performances on both land and water.
Illusion Theater U of M Theatre
Nationally Renowned For Developing
Historical Artists and New Work While Sparking
330 21st Ave S, Minneapolis, MN
(612) 624-2345
Minnesota Historical Society Conversation About Challenging
The best of Minnesota comes to life www.theatre.umn.edu
Human Issues.
with fun, hands-on exhibits and 528 Hennepin Ave., #704 Walker Art Center
signature programs. Minneapolis, MN Internationally recognized as a leading
345 Kellogg Blvd (612) 339-4944 www.illusiontheater.org venue for the presentation of the art of
W., St. Paul, MN our time.
(651) 259-3000 Jungle Theater 1750 Hennepin Ave.
www.mnhs.org/historycenter Professional theater producing Minneapolis, MN (612) 375-7600
contemporary and classic works in an www.walkerart.org
Library intimate setting in the Lynlake neighborhood.
Quatrefoil Library 2951 Lyndale Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN Pets/Pet Services
Your GLBT Library with stacks of DVDs, (612) 822-7063 www.JungleTheater.com Animal Humane Society
books, and magazines. Check out our Buffalo: (763) 390-3647
online catalogue. Minneapolis Musical Theatre
“Giving Voice to the Human Experience” -
Coon Rapids: (763) 862-4030
1619 Dayton Ave., No. 105 Golden Valley: (763) 522-4325
St. Paul, MN New and Rarely-Seen Musicals. St. Paul: (651) 645-7387
(651) 641-0969 8520 W. 29th St. Woodbury: (651) 730-6008
www.qlibrary.org Minneapolis, MN www.animalhumanesociety.org
(612) 605-3298
Literacy www.aboutmmt.org Wildcat Sanctuary
The Loft Literary Center A non-profit accredited sanctuary for over
Where writers learn from other writers. Minnesota Orchestra 100 abandoned and abused bobcats,
Visit www.loft.org for classes, events, Led by Music Director Osmo Vänskä, the tigers, leopards and more.
conferences, and more. Minnesota Orchestra, one of America’s Sandstone, MN
1011 Washington Ave S. Suite 200 leading symphony orchestras. (320) 245-6871
Open Book Minneapolis, MN 1111 Nicollet Mall Minneapolis, MN www.wildcatsanctuary.org
612-215-2575 (612) 371-5656 (800) 292-4141
www.minnesotaorchestra.org Politics & Rights
www.loft.org
loft@loft.org Human Rights Campaign
Northrop Advocates for all GLBT Americans,
Media & Communications Presenting world-class entertainment in the mobilizes grassroots action, invests
Minnesota Public Radio heart of the Twin Cities. strategically to elect fair-minded individuals.
Providing in depth news coverage, 84 Church St. SE P.O. Box 50608 Minneapolis, MN
classical music and emerging artists on our Minneapolis, MN www.twincities.hrc.org www.hrc.org
three regional services. Business Office: 612-625-6600
(651) 290-1212 Ticket Office: 612-624-2345
www.mpr.org northrop.umn.edu
OutFront Minnesota St. Paul-Reformation Lutheran Old Town In Town
Delivering programs / services in the area Church with Wingspan Ministry 728 E. 16th St. #4 Travel
Grand Marais Area Tourism
of public policy, anti-violence, education + PASTORAL CARE + EDUCATION + Minneapolis, MN Association
and training, and law. WITNESS + ADVOCACY + Outreach (612) 341-4394 Visit the North Shore's only harbor village
310 E. 38th St., Ste. 204 of St. Paul-Reformation Church to the oldtownintown@gmail.com - art, dining, shopping, outdoor activities,
Minneapolis, MN (612) 822-0127 GLBTQA Community. the perfect escape.
www.outfront.org 100 N. Oxford St. Sexual Health P.O Box 1048
13 North Broadway Ave
St. Paul, MN Man2Man Grand Marais, MN
Pride (651) 224-3371 Interactive events where guys talk to one (888) 922-5000
Twin Cities Pride www.stpaulref.org another about being gay/bi, dating, (218) 387-2524
www.tcpride.org sex, life! www.grandmarais.com
University Lutheran Church of Hope Metro (612) 626-7937
Religious & Spiritual Reconciling Congregation - All Are 1-800-552-8636 Palm Springs Bureau of Tourism
Central Lutheran Church www.M2M.mn America's Gay Oasis is Beautiful
We welcome all people to celebrate, Welcome. Social Justice Opportunities. Palm Springs.
discover and share the love of Christ. Strong University Links - Questioning www.palm-springs.org
Encouraged. Great Music. Family Tree Clinic
333 Twelfth St. S. LGBTQ Health Matters at Family Tree ! Visit Minneapolis North Convention
Minneapolis, MN 601 13th Ave. SE Minneapolis, MN
(612) 331-5988 www.ulch.org Offering respectful, affordable sexual & Visitors Bureau
(612) 870-4416 health service to meet your needs. We take pride in helping individuals find
www.centralmpls.org 1619 Dayton Avenue the ideal location for events & celebrations.
Westminster Presbyterian Church St. Paul, MN 6200 Shingle Creek Parkway, Suite 248,
Edina Community Lutheran Church A Covenant Network Congregation, Minneapolis, MN
(651) 645-0478 763.566.7722 / 800.541.4364
Upbeat, growing congregation committed Working Toward a Church as Generous www.familytreeclinic.org
to inclusion, justice, peace, community and and Just as God’s Grace. www.visitminneapolisnorth.com
proclaiming God’s YES to all.
4113 W. 54th St.
Nicollet Mall at 12th St. Minneapolis, MN
(612) 332-3421
Social Organizations Door County Visitor Bureau
Imperial Court of Minnesota Your Stories. Our Setting. Like Nowhere
Edina, MN (952) 926-3808 www.ewestminster.org P.O. Box 582417 Else. Door County, Wisconsin.
www.eclc.org Minneapolis, MN PO Box 406
Retirement www.impcourtmn.com Sturgeon Bay, WI 54235
1-800-52-RELAX (73529)
Hennepin Avenue United The Kenwood Retirement
Methodist Church www.doorcounty.com/info@doorcounty.com
Take a Spiritual Journey With Hennepin’s
Community Student/Campus/Alumni
Our full service retirement community Minnesota GLBTA Campus Alliance Winneshiek County Convention &
Faith Community Through Worship, provides Independent, Assisted Living and A statewide alliance of students, staff, faculty, Visitors Bureau / Discover Decorah
Education, Fellowship, Service, and More. Short Term apartment rentals. alumni, and community members uniting for Refresh, rejuvenate, rekindle....whatever
511 Groveland Ave. Minneapolis, MN 825 Summit Avenue, Minneapolis, MN campus change. R&R you’re up for, the Decorah area is the
(612) 871-5303 www.haumc.org 612-374-8100 2136 Ford Parkway #131 St. Paul, MN ultimate heaven
www.thekenwood.net (612) 730-8541 507 West Water Street
Mayflower Community Congre- Decorah, IA 52101
gational United Church of Christ www.mncampusalliance.org 1-800-463-4692
An open and affirming, peace with justice www.visitdecorah.com
church welcomes you.
106 E. Diamond Lake Rd. (I-35 & Diamond
Lake Rd.)
Minneapolis, MN (612) 824-0761
www.mayflowermpls.org
Mount Olive Lutheran Church
Ours is a welcoming parish, rich in music,
liturgy and opportunities to serve
the community.
3045 Chicago Ave. Minneapolis, MN
(612) 827-5919
www.mountolivechurch.org
Plymouth Congregational Church,
Minneapolis
A Beacon of Liberal Theology. Progressive
Christianity, Traditional Setting & Service,
Social Action, The Arts & Music.
1900 Nicollet Ave. at Franklin
Minneapolis, MN
(612) 871-7400
www.plymouth.org
Spirit of Hope
An Independent Catholic community.
At our table, all are welcome. Mass at
5 PM Saturday evening. Fr. Marty
Shanahan. Worship at:
St. Anne’s Episcopal Church
2035 Charlton Rd
Sunfish Lake, MN
www.spiritofhopecatholiccommunity.org
St. Luke Presbyterian Church
We’re a joyful, compassionate community
on a spiritual journey, seeking justice and
peace. Join us.
3121 Groveland School Rd.
Wayzata, MN (952) 473-7378
www.stlukeweb.org
LavenderMagazine.com

St. Mark’s Episcopal Cathedral

Wherever you are on your faith journey...
St. Mark’s Welcomes You.
519 Oak Grove St. Minneapolis, MN
(612) 870-7800
www.ourcathedral.org

61
 Backtalk > Dateland [ by Jennifer Parello ]

FAT CAT
W
ell, kids, Mama has the swine flu. Having struck door, demanding to be fed.
“I am not flossing your teeth,” I’d hiss at
about a week ago, it has been kicking my ass ever it, as I mixed its incredibly complicated and
since. I’ve been treating it with liberal doses of as- smelly breakfast each morning.
pirin and champagne. I call this cocktail the Jackie But the cat did as cats do: It insisted on
rubbing against me, choosing to sit with me
O, because I’m pretty certain I’ve stumbled on the secret of how rather than my friends, and generally using
high-society types make it through their days. its feline powers of manipulation to make
me think I was falling in love with it.
I suspect I picked up the virus in New Pretty soon, I was wrestling with it on
York City, where I was staying in an East the floor, preparing special treats for it, and
Side tenement slum for several days. It was insisting we rush back to the apartment to
my British friends’ idea to book an apart- spend time with it.
ment, rather than stay at a hotel, and they Then, on our last day, I reached for the
have yet to give me a credible explanation floss. When the cat saw the floss box, it
for this crackpot scheme. raised its great mass on its hind legs, and
I travel a lot on business, and I’ve grown let out a howl of delight. This was the most
to love hotels. They’re clean, and you can movement I’d seen in the past three days.
get drinks delivered to your room. You The cat was so obese, it barely could
never have to wash a dish; make the bed; or, breathe. It had the wheeze of an old Sicilian
most important, floss a cat’s teeth. man. When I wanted to play with it, I had to
Yes, you read that right. Floss a cat’s place a string directly in front of its paws so
teeth. At the apartment we rented—a place it didn’t have to exert itself. So, standing on
that deliberately seemed to ignore the Dis- its hind legs was quite an accomplishment.
neyfication of NYC, and instead clung to I can’t tell you much about the flossing
the overly romanticized memory of the des- other than to say it was weird and oddly en-
iccated, heroin ruins of the East Village— joyable. My friends filmed it, and you can
the fattest cat I’ve ever seen greeted us. At see the video on my Facebook page.
first, I mistook it for an ottoman. I’ve had a tough year in my personal life.
We were not told in advance that we’d I’ve been rather villainous, and haven’t felt
have to tend to this behemoth during our very good about myself. But in those few
stay. But when we arrived, we found a long weird minutes, when I laid on a filthy floor,
April 23-May 6, 2010

list of instructions, which included the de-
mand that we floss its teeth.
Now, readers, I’m an animal lover. But
having been bamboozled into paying a
small fortune to spend a long weekend in
a tenement with such a large population of
roaches that they actually claimed a seat on
the building’s co-op board, I really resented
being awakened at five every morning by a
pork-roast sized cat throwing itself at my
and gave a cat a few minutes of pleasure, I
thought there might be some hope for me
yet. Maybe after I serve my penance via the
swine flu, I’ll return to NYC, kidnap the
cat, and name it Redemption.

62
 LavenderMagazine.com

63
 April 23-May 6, 2010

64
 LavenderMagazine.com

65
 Yellow Pages > Advertiser Index
Adult
Déjà Vu.......................................... 65
Dream Girls................................... 63
Hardline Gay Chat ...................... 64
Hennepin Avenue Adult
Boutique ........................................ 63
Megaphone .................................. 65
Apparel & Accessories
STYLEDLIFE-styledlook ................. 7
Arts & Entertainment
Hennepin Theatre Trust ............... 38
Brazen Theatre ............................. 37
Automotive
Hagen’s Auto Body...................... 54
LaMettry’s Collision ..................... 5
Morrie’s Mazda & Subaru.......... 26
Bars & Nightlife
Bar Advertiser Guide ................... 40
19 Bar ............................................ 45
Brass Rail ....................................... 42
Camp ............................................. 47
Fusion: Restaurant Bar Lounge .... 47
Gay 90’s ................................................41, 43, 67
Gladius .......................................... 46
Lush ................................................ 47
Tickles ............................................ 46
Town House ................................. 44
Beauty & Relaxation
Anew Aesthetic Medical Center . 29
Barbers on Bryant ........................ 54
Garden of Eden ............................ 31
Homme by Maric Group ............. 31
Beverages
Budweiser...................................... 39
Communications
89.3 The Current .......................... 61
AM950, The Voice of
Minnesota ..................................... 65
Minnesota Public Radio ............... 61
Radio K 770 ................................ 16
Computer & Internet
DeskTech ....................................... 54
Contests
Lavender's Win a Wedding ........ 5
April 23-May 6, 2010
Julius Caesar.
Jules César.
66
Dating Services
Simply Introduced ........................ 38
Education
Metropolitan State University ...... 35
Events
Lavender's First Thursday ............. 17
Lavender's OUT at the Movies.... 37
MN AIDS Walk ............................ 27
Financial
Bender, Joy ................................... 30
Boyer, Daniel ................................ 54
Moltaji, Roya ................................ 5
Palm, Karen ................................... 7
ROR Tax Professionals ................. 54
US Bank ........................................ 24
Floral & Garden
Friends School Plant Sale ............ 19
Landscape Junction ...................... 55
Tangletown Gardens.................... 19
Food
Vinaigrette ..................................... 26
Floral & Garden
Chenoweth Floral &
Greenhouses ................................ 23
Funeral Services
Johnson Hannah, Barbara ......... 54
Gifts
Eyes of Horus ................................ 54
Fantasy Gifts ................................. 54
Grocery Stores
Wedge Co-op ............................... 53
Health, Wellness & Recovery
Advanced Foot and Ankle Care . 29
Burns, Steve................................... 57
Carrillo, Dr. Thomas P. ................. 57
Center for Psychological
and Spiritual Wellness ................. 57
Chase, Lisa .................................... 57
Heffelfinger, Kate ......................... 57
Homecare Assist ........................... 7
Lyn Lake Chiropractic ................... 9
Mayfield Chiropractic .................. 26
Pride Institute ................................. 17
Quitplan ........................................ 6
Running Tiger Shaolin Kenpo...... 15
Julius Caesar said: “Veni, Vidi, Vici” or “I
came, I saw, I conquered.”
Jules César a dit “Veni, Vidi, Vici” ou “Je
suis venu, j’ai vu, j’ai vaincu”.
Stechmann, Dr. Fred ..................... 57
Stolz, James .................................. 57
University of Minnesota, Infectious
Diseases ........................................ 11
Uptown Dermatology &
SkinSpa ......................................... 56
Home Furnishings & Accessories
Moveables Consignment ............. 23
Home Services
4 Quarters Design & Build........... 25
A-Z Electric ................................... 55
Bauer Floor Covering................... 55
Boe Plumbing ................................ 27
Garlock-French Roofing ............... 17
Good Stuff Moving ...................... 56
Greenway Pavers ......................... 55
Halet Remodeling &
Renovations ................................... 55
Hi-Tech Installations...................... 56
Matt’s Tree Service ...................... 56
Mr. Handyman ............................. 54
Personal Pride Construction......... 55
R. Davis Construction ................... 55
Residential Heating & Air
Conditioning ................................. 23
Ryan’s Tree Care .......................... 56
Soderlin Plumbing, Heating
& Air Conditioning........................ 55
SOS Homecare ............................ 55
Tangletown Design and Interiors 55
The Tile Shop ................................ 19
Todd the Plumber .......................... 55
Twin City Heating and Air ........... 25
Universal Windows Direct ........... 23
Vujovich ......................................... 22
Insurance
AAA Minneapolis Insurance
Agency .......................................... 9
American Family Insurance ......... 30
Arens, John .................................... 56
Baldwin, Davina ........................... 56
Wagner Insurance-Financial
Services ......................................... 56
Wolfson, Steve .............................. 56
Jewelry
Tesa Jewelry .................................. 8
Max’s ............................................ 31
Legal
Cloutier & Brandl .......................... 37
? Premature ejaculator!
? Éjaculateur précoce!
Dean, Jeff ...................................... 9
Heltzer & Burg .............................. 5
Moshier, Becky ............................. 7
Terry & Slane ................................ 8
Malls & Shopping Centers
Mall of America ........................... 68
Mortgage
Lozinski, David .............................. 35
Organizations
The Aliveness Project .................... 12, 13
Pet Products & Services
Animal Humane Society ............. 15
Cat Nap Inn .................................. 57
Larpenteur Animal Hospital ......... 15
Now Boarding.............................. 15
Ollu Self Serve Dog Wash .......... 16
Pampered Paws Savage .............. 57
Pampered Pooch Playground...... 57
Real Estate & Rentals
Calfee, David................................ 58
Corridor Flats ................................ 9
Farinella, Marilyn ......................... 58
Groff, Wayne................................ 58
Leviton, Ann................................... 57
McGee, Michael .......................... 25
Miller, Valencia............................. 6
Minneapolis Grand Apartments . 24
Richardson, Beth........................... 25
Ruzick, Amy & Johnson, Kay ....... 35, 58
Religious
St. Paul-Reformation Lutheran
Church with Wingspan Ministry . 35
Restaurants
Bin Wine Bar ................................ 2
Christos .......................................... 51
Dancing Ganesha ........................ 51
Duplex Restaurant and Wine
Bar ................................................. 53
French Meadow ........................... 53
Ginger Hop/Honey ..................... 53
KinDee Thai Restaurant................ 51
Roat Osha ..................................... 51
Sushi Tango................................... 51
Toast Wine Bar & Cafe ................ 51
Uptown Diner/Calhoun Grill/
Louisiana Café/Grandview Grill 53
 Backtalk > Ms. Behavior©
Biting Girlfriend
Dear Ms. Behavior:
I am 17-year-old gay girl. I want to have
muscles or at least just be fit for my senior
year in high school and for college because
I want to play basketball and probably many
other sports. I do not want a whole lot of
muscles though. I’m emailing you to get
pointers and tips. Can you please help me?
—Elizabeth T.
Dear Elizabeth T:
You are hunting for a chinchilla on a
zebra farm. Ms. Behavior generally handles
matters far more delicate (and often less at-
tractive) than muscles.
Please take yourself to the gym and try
to locate a helpful young woman who can
offer “pointers and tips.” If you like her a
lot and have romantic feelings toward her,
see if she is willing to teach you things and
also to go on dates with you. If so, woo her
with kindness and gifts and try to get her to
become engaged to you. Once she is your
wife (or even just your girlfriend), ask her
to provide ongoing assistance with your
development until you achieve the sleek
physique you’ve always wanted. Remember
to offer her as much of yourself as you can
in return—whether your skills lie in math
or car repair or legal matters—so that she
knows you’re not just using her for her per-
April 23–May 6, 2010
sonal training skills.
After you’re involved with your fit new
bride for four or five years, if you find she
spends far too much time developing her
gluteus maximus muscles or assisting mid-
dle-aged women to feel the burn at the ex-
69
pense of your cuddling time, then you may
feel free to write to Ms. Behavior for advice.
(If the gym suggestion doesn’t work out
for you, Ms. Behavior has heard a rumor
that yoga can help you to become fit and
strong without bulking up.)
Dear Ms. Behavior:
I started seeing a very interesting
woman recently. We haven’t been inti-
mate yet; we’re getting old, so that hasn’t
been the priority. I’m wary about getting
too close anyway, because of a rumor I’ve
heard about Dee. Apparently, about five
years ago, she followed her then-girlfriend
into the supermarket during an argument
and bit her girlfriend’s ear hard enough to
draw blood. Dee got tossed in jail for the
night. There are a couple of other legends
about her, too.
None of these stories are confirmed
by anyone I know, and it all seems hard to
imagine. Meanwhile, I like this woman and
she’s always been perfectly nice to me, but
I’m not sure how to handle this. Do I ask
her directly about the ear thing? Should I
just break it off and run for the hills? Or
do seniors get dispensation for past bad
behavior?
—Needing Guidance
Dear Needing Guidance:
The real question is not whether or not
Dee bit her ex’s ear in the produce aisle at
Stop ‘n Shop, but rather what that piece
of information means to you. If a reliable
friend had personally witnessed the ear
[ by Meryl Cohn ]
chomping, would that scare you away from
Dee? Or would you assume that Dee’s tooth
just happened to get caught in her ex’s ear-
ring? What if her ex bit first, and Dee just
chewed back in self-defense? Since you’ll
probably never understand the circum-
stances of these events, the real question is
probably how to assess whether or not Dee
is now sane and trustworthy.
Normally, people don’t change very
much. If Dee did bite her ex, that doesn’t
mean she’ll bite you; however, it’s likely
that an aggressive person will remain ag-
gressive unless she’s had the benefit of in-
tensive therapy or effective medication.
Seniors don’t get dispensation for bad
behavior but sometimes they (or others)
forget what they’ve done. Also, older peo-
ple are often seen as “gentle” but this isn’t
always true. Sometimes they just become
smaller and less menacing or they forget
what they learned in their karate classes so
many years ago.
It may not be comfortable to ask Dee
about the incidents you’ve heard about, but
you may as well find out if she’s able to rea-
sonably talk about herself and her past. If
she can’t or won’t—or if she bares her teeth
at you—that’s useful information, as you as-
sess whether or not you’ll feel safe sleeping
next to her as you grow even older.
© 2010 Meryl Cohn. Address questions and correspondence to
<msbehavior@aol.com>. She is the author of Do What I Say: Ms.
Behavior’s Guide to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton Mif-
flin). Signed copies are available directly from the author.
 Dining Guide Listing |

AVERAGE PRICE OF A TYPICAL ENTREE

$ LESS THAN $15, $$ $15-$25, $$$ MORE THAN $25

Our Guide to the Metro Eateries Featured in This Issue Lav-

ender Magazine’s Dining Guide is your resource to GLBT-
friendly restaurants. We recommend calling restaurants be-
fore visiting to confirm information.
Lavender’s cuisine section and updated dining guide appears
each issue. Please direct questions about the directory and
cuisine advertising to dining@lavendermagazine.com.
Roat Osha. Photos by Hubert Bonnet

BIN WINE BAR $ FRENCH MEADOW BAKERY $

Wines, Beers, Liquors, Light Fare Certified Organic Bakery
Whether it’s a glass of wine, a chilled bear, a single-malt Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner
Scotch or a yummy chocolate martini, Bin Wine Bar is your 2610 Lyndale Ave. S., Minneapolis (612) 870-4740
new neighborhood hangout. Sun – Thurs: 6:30 AM – 9 PM • Fri – Sat: 6:30 AM – 11 PM
Dinner
400 Sibley, Ste. 150, St. Paul, (651) 224-94463 GINGER HOP/HONEY $
Tues – Sat: 3 PM – Bar close • Sun – Mon: Available for Asian
private parties Specializing in pan-Asian classic dishes. As we say, “East
www.binwinebar.com meets Northeast”.
Lunch, Dinner
CHRISTO’S $ 201 E. Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis (612) 746-0305 •
Greek www.gingerhop.com
Serving classic Greek fare for over 13 years, we specialize
in dishes from the island of Cyprus, offering food from the THE GRANDVIEW GRILL $
traditional to the contemporary. American
Lunch, Dinner Fresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets,
2632 Nicollet Ave., Mpls (612) 871-2111 • 15600 Hwy 7, pancakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches.
Minnetonka, (952) 912-1000 • 214 4th St. E., St. Paul Union Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch
Depot, (651) 224-6000 1818 Grand Ave., St. Paul (651) 698-2346
www.christos.com Mon – Fri: 6:15 AM – 2:30 PM • Sat: 6:15 AM – 3 PM • Sun:
8 AM – 3 PM
DANCING GANESHA $$
Contemporary Indian KINDEE THAI $
We would like you to come & enjoy our novel Indian cui- Thai
sines in an extraordinary ambiance. This isn’t your traditional everyday Thai restaurant.
Lunch, Dinner Lunch, Dinner
1100 Harmon Pl., Minneapolis (612) 388-1877 719 S. 2nd St., Minneapolis (612) 465-8303
Mon – Sat: 11 AM – 2 PM, 4 PM – 10:30 PM • Sun: 11 AM Mon: Closed • Tues – Thurs: 11:30 AM – 9 PM • Fri: 11:30
– 2 PM, 5 PM – 9 PM AM – 10:30 PM • Sat: 11 AM – 10:30 PM • Sun: 11 AM – 9 PM

DUPLEX $ THE LOUISIANA CAFÉ $

French, Italian, American American
Unique entrees, moderately priced, cozy space with up- Fresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets,
pancakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches.
April 23–May 6, 2010

beat staff.
Brunch, Lunch, Dinner Breakfast, Brunch,
2516 Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis (612) 381-0700 613 Selby Ave., St. Paul (651) 221-9140
Mon – Fri: 6:30 AM – 2:30 PM • Sat: 6:30 AM – 3 PM • Sun:
www.duplexmpls.com
8 AM – 3 PM

70
 Fusion.

The Grandview Grill. New Uptown Diner.

NEW UPTOWN DINER $

American
Fresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets,
pancakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches.
Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch
2548 Hennepin Ave. S. Minneapolis (612) 874-0481
Mon – Wed: 6 AM – 3 PM • Thurs – Sat: 24 Hours • Sun:
Close at 6 PM

ROAT OSHA $$
Thai
Uniquely crafted authentic and American influences. Decor
that invites conversation
Lunch, Dinner
2650 Hennepin Ave. S., Minneapolis
Sat: 11 AM – 11 PM • Sun: 11 AM – 10:30 PM

SUSHI TANGO $$
Japanese
Exciting and eccentric mix of Japanese cuisine and Up-
town attitude.
Lunch, Dinner
Calhoun Square, (612) 822-7787
Mon – Wed: 5 PM – 1 AM • Thurs – Sun: Noon – 1 AM

TOAST WINE BAR AND CAFÉ $

Wine bar with Italian influence
Neighborhood wine bar serving pizzas, cured meats and
small plates.
Dinner
415 N. 1st St., Minneapolis, MN (612) 333-4305
Tues – Thurs: 5 PM – 11 PM • Fri – Sat: 5 PM – 12 AM • Sun:
5 PM – 11 PM

THE WOODBURY CAFÉ $

American
Fresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets,
pancakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches.
lavendermagazine.com

Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch

Bielenberg & Tamarack, Woodbury, MN (651) 209-8182
Mon – Fri: 7 AM – 2:30 PM • Sat: 7 AM – 3 PM • Sun: 8
AM – 3 PM

71
Backtalk > Consider the Source [ by Julie Dafydd ]

Parking Lot Art

H
elp! I’ve fallen into a BarcaLounger and I can’t get up. my brains are mostly located. And pools in
the middle of my body, where my middle is
But it’s not just any BarcaLounger. It’s the first park- mostly located. I start to lose consciousness.
ing lot/lawnchair BarcaLounger, plopped in my apart- Wonderful position No. 2: Total horizon-
ment building parking lot like a giant Naugahyde weed. Need- tal. My pulse rate drops to about five.
Wonderful position No. 3: Lift off. My feet
less to say, I love it and intend to keep it forever. are now actually higher than my head. I’m ei-
ther in heaven or in shock. I don’t know which.
In seconds, I am asleep in the first degree.
My horrible landlord disagrees. He be- (Hi. This is the landlord again. She’s not
lieves the BarcaLounger is inappropriate for exaggerating about the sleeping stuff. The
his pristine little parking lot. He believes it is neighborhood children can’t even wake her.
only temporary. Like my lease, I suppose. They try everything, tilting her back and
This showdown started out innocently forth in the chair so fast that she looks like
enough. The chair was left behind during a dead bag lady on a roller coaster. They’ve
one of the many monthly tenant move- even begun leaving little Post-it notes stuck
outs. Trashmen hired to regularly clean out to her sunglasses. One time she finally
the dumpster area simply left it behind, in- awoke and—seeing nothing but a blanket
tending at some point, I assume, to retrieve of little yellow notes—assumed she’d fallen
it later. They forgot. head first into a pitcher of lemonade.)
I cursed when I first saw it. Effing slobs. OK, so I lost my bearings for a min-
Then one day, weaving home from the Gay ute. Anyway, if he knew how much fun this
90’s, I flopped down in the chair for a short chair can be, I’m sure he’d lighten up. I may
rest before heading for the back door. A look like a bag lady. I may look like a bag
week or so later, and I’m still here. lady asleep in a big ugly recliner. But in my
True love is like that, I guess, always head, I’m Kate Mulgrew steering the Star-
catching you be surprise. ship Enterprise.
(Hi. This is Julie’s landlord speaking. I’m (Hi, me again. If things don’t improve,
interrupting this column to swear before my security staff is setting the Starship En-
the court and state of Minnesota that she niture, maybe 20 years old and weighting terprise on fire.)
has not budged from the BarcaLounger in slightly less than Kirstie Alley. It is orange- Wait till he hears my latest plan. I’m
maybe a month. The neighbors think she’s yellow, which is what makes it so striking going to round up a bunch of old recliners
a hideous piece of art-sculpture. When I against the black tar. from parking lots all over Minneapolis.
complain, all she does is mutter: “Never This chair has many fine features as well. Just imagine, an entire BarcaLounger
stand when you can sit, never sit when you For instance, it is impervious to nacho cheese fleet, just in time for summer—for when
can recline.”) spills. In fact, I think it is impervious to almost friends drop by.
Don’t mind him, he’s just jealous because everything. If you dropped it on the surface of Oooo…We can drag them down to
he didn’t claim the chair first. Besides, you the sun, it would probably float. Loring Park in front of the Pride Festival
think I planned this? I’ve never wanted a re- Best of all, is the way the chair moves. stage!
cliner. To me they were icons of American Big as a first-class airline seat, it tilts back Well, hey it’s just a thought and consider
lavendermagazine.com

tackiness, like fuzzy dice. BarcaLoungers into three wonderful positions. Let me the source.
were beneath me. briefly describe them:
Well, there is one beneath me at this Wonderful position No.1: Slight reclining. Bye for now.
very moment. It is a lovely piece of fur- Blood circulates up from my feet, where Kiss, kiss.

72