Getting Married Before Finishing School

Getting married before finishing school
what do you think?

posted 2 years ago in 20 Something
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Newbee
Bunni91
2 years ago
I just want to know everyones opinionwhat do you think of getting married before finishing
undergrad at the age of 23? And do you think one needs to finish masters before they should get
married as well??
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2744 posts
Sugar bee
bitsybee
Wedding: May 2015
2 years ago
Bunni91: People should do whats right for them. However, as someone who has seen many people
get married before 25 (and subsequently divorced), Im glad I didnt.
I wouldnt have wanted to be in a long distance marriage or compromised my educational goals for a
marriage in my early 20s, so Im glad I didnt get married.
One of my girlfriends gave up a full tuition scholarship to go to the same college as her high school
boyfriend. They got married in college. As far as I know, they are still married though her
compromises for their relationship has affected her career path (darn glass ceiling) and has resulted
in a boob job.
At the end of the day, her choices, her life and it doesnt affect me. Same thing with people who get
married young and divorced.
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318 posts
Helper bee
znowbird22
Wedding: November 2014
2 years ago
I wouldnt recomend it. I had a few classmates who got married durring a crazy semester and
honestly, they have regreted it because they said they couldnt fully enjoy their experience as a bride
while under all the school pressure. they kind of rushed through decisions because they did not have
time to figure out the little details. I decided to wait untill i finsihed and im glad I have. But it really
depends on what you want. If you just want to get married and not care about the details then go for
it.
This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by
znowbird22.
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1808 posts
Buzzing bee
mgbser
Wedding: July 2014
2 years ago
I think before finishing undergrad is very difficult. I only know one person who did that and they got
divorced a few years later. I think they were so young and had so much stress with school, having a
social life and being involved with clubs/activities on campus (so important for an undergraduate)
and building their life together that they didnt take time to continue working on their relationship and
it fell apart. However, I think it is perfectly fine to get married while doing a graduate degree. I will be
doing that myself (Im 26 and I still have about another year of my PhD)- I just think you are older
then and more able to juggle more things, and generally there are less classes and more
independant work, and you can plan that around your life (it is a TON of work.. just a bit more
flexible). Lots of people are married in graduate school and even have their own families, so there
really isnt any pressure to spend a lot of time physically on campus. And these days more and more
people are pursuing advanced degrees and you cant really expect people to wait until their 30s to
get married JUST because of school.
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332 posts
Helper bee
amoore2
Wedding: Davis Island Garden Club
2 years ago
I dont think there is any right or wrong path, what works for one might not work for the other. But
personally I feel like getting married while in college can pose a challenge to both the education and
the marriage.
I think it becomes more difficult to finish school when you have more responsibilites on your plate.
Wedding planning, house hunting, nurturing your marriage, cooking for your husband, having
children, etcall of these things will compete for your attention while you are trying to finish your
degree.
Even if you can do it all, the late nights of studying and cramming for exams can take a toll on your
marriage too. As a newlywed it is so important to nurture your marriage and begin to build your home
together and your course load may interfere.
I moved in with my FI in my last semester of my undergrad. I had never lived outside of my parents
home and FI really picked up the slack for me. Cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. was difficult
while working and going to school full time and FI took care of it all. He went to bed every night alone
while I stayed up late to study. I am lucky to have him, but I would be lying if I said it didnt strain our
relationship a bit.
As far as a Masters, I think that is dependent on the career you plan to pursue. If you do decide to
get your masters I would avoid taking a break in between, it is so easy for life to get in the way.
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8226 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
housebee
Wedding: April 2013
2 years ago
Bunni91: I think as long as youre both financially independent and feel ready to be married, it can
be done.
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3668 posts
Sugar bee
KatiePi
Wedding: December 2013
2 years ago
Bunni91: I think it depends on your relationship and your goals for after. My DH and I met at 20/21 (I
had just finished my Associates, was working on Bachelors at the time). I personally wanted to be
finished with all of my schooling before getting married and thats what happened. I finished my
Masters July 2013 and we married Dec. 2013 (ETA: we were both 25 at our wedding). My DH is
slowly working through school while managing a business so he is only partially completed with his
Bachelors. You guys do whatever is best for you, but I think school adds a lot of stress while trying to
enjoy that time in your life. I like that we are newly married and are just working, but that doesnt work
for everyone!
KatiePi.
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1986 posts
Buzzing bee
souza_2005
Wedding: May 2013
2 years ago
Bunni91: when i was young i thought this but not anymore. i agree with OP, whatever you feel is
right for you. follow your heart. you never know what life will throw at you
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3097 posts
Sugar bee
atreyu547
Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
2 years ago
The only thing Id be concerNed with is the stress (including financially) of planning a wedding &
finishing school, but it can be done.
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20 posts
Newbee
sjschuller
Wedding: July 2013
2 years ago
I was planning on getting married after finishing college, but we ended up changing our minds. We
knew we would be together so we figured what was the difference between having a year and a half
engagement or having a short engagement and starting our married lives together. It will end up
saving us a lot of money so that is a plus as well. (Before we were both paying rent.) I have heard the
longer your engagement the more money you end up paying for it which actually seems to be
about right in my case. We had everything ready to go in about 2 months now it is just a waiting
game and you just get more ideas to add in which adds more money. I think whatever you feel in
your gut and heart is right is the path you should follow rather then a set of rules. I ended up being
home for Christmas and got a ton of planning done then so that was very helpful, because there are
definitely times in college that are too stressful to add in wedding planning!
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35 posts
Newbee
RusticBride17
Wedding: October 2017
2 years ago
Bunni91: As an engaged college student myself, I personally could not imagine getting married
before I was done with school. Too much stress with course work and wedding planning. One of my
friends from school is getting married and she missed a few classes because of wedding planning.
My FH and I have been together nearly 5 years, and we both really dont want to wait, but we know
that planning a wedding right now would not be the wisest decision for us. We are going to get
married after I graduate with my bachelors degree, so I see no reason on waiting until after grad
school as well especially since going to grad school is not a decision I have made 100% still. I am
by no means saying you should wait, I have no idea what you are like and if you are great at multitasking I say go for it. As for me, I have enough trouble finding time for school as it is while working
and trying to maintain some sort of social life. Hope this helps and I dont seem pushy about my
opinions Sorry if I do!

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73 posts
Worker bee
LadyoftheLabyrinth
2 years ago
Bunni91: I have seen friends who have gotten married before graduating from their studies and they
have coped fine, however, they have had a lot of extra pressure and stress on them in regards to
wedding planning and household expectations. Personally I feel that studying is an important part of
a persons life if they dont go straight into the workforce, so it is probably more beneficial to graduate
from your major studies first and get married afterwards.
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800 posts
Busy bee
freshflowers
Wedding: August 2015
2 years ago
Whats the rush? You are still young. Why not just wait the extra year (or whatever it may be) to let
yourself focus on college, and THEN focus on the wedding and being married.
Is there a reason that you wish to get married earlier rather than later(finacial, insurance, etc.)?
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20 posts
Newbee
sjschuller
Wedding: July 2013
2 years ago
I dont mean to be pushy about mine either. There are definitely pros and cons of both sides I think.
The other side for me was why wait? and I couldnt really answer that question. As a college
student/athlete I have found time for everything for the wedding and still maintained a 4.0 as well. So
as far as the school argument that has been fine for me.. stressful at times? Sure.. but when isnt
school stressful. Job searches are stressful and so is house hunting but people still plan through
these events as well. You really just have to think about YOU. What is best for YOUR relationship. If
the thought of it stresses you out then consider waiting. If it doesnt, then take an opportunity and
just keep working hard!
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613 posts
Busy bee
MrsMKB
Wedding: July 2014
2 years ago
It depends on the people getting married.
FH and I both just turned 22, he graduated college but I have 1 more year of university, and we are
getting married in 16 days. But, we have been together for 8 years, living together for 5.
We are completely independent and have been engaged for 3 years. So for us, it was time. I never
had any real issues with going to school, working and planning our wedding only with having time to
make wedding related appointments (But the wedding is also in a different city, which is what really
made it difficult).
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Getting married before finishing school what

do you think?
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Bumble bee
supermariobrogal
2 years ago
I think it really depends on the couple and the situation. FI and I started dating in high school 5 years ago. Ive a
year left now of my masters (which may turn into a PhD, dependent on a research opportunity that just popped
up), and hes got a year of his undergrad left (took an internship for a year). Are we waiting till after all this
education stuff is done? Nah were not sure when Im going to be done, and honestly we just want it to be
official already, as weve felt like a married couple for a couple years now. It really hasnt been that stressful
between wedding planning and school and work. Its helped that were planning everything now for our wedding
in a year, rather than waiting and conforming to a normal time frame. Were also pretty low-key and decisive,
so thats helped. Our wedding will be in a different city, but weve managed to make it work. Im also the
type of person that thrives on stress/a long list of things to do I like having things to occupy my time, lol.
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59 posts
Worker bee
jdford2s
2 years ago
Bunni91: Im getting married in November! Im in the same boat.. At that time Ill have a year of school left. I am
beyond excited and couldnt be happier to marry him! I know that he will be helpful and supportive during the
schooling! I say do whats on your heart! I couldnt imagine waiting another year to get married!
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21 posts
Newbee
nhamilton
Wedding: May 2015 - The Grand Hotel Marriott Resort, Golf Club & Spa
2 years ago
Dont rush, enjoy youre early 20s!! You have all of your late 20s and early 30s to plan a wedding! Take your
time! I would say take this time while youre in school to make decisions on important things like venue,
photographer, etc. (b/c all this stuff takes TIME). Then when you graduate you will have almost everything
planned out and youll have your degree beind you.
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68 posts
Worker bee
britty
Wedding: Aug 23, 2014
2 years ago
Finishing school was important to me. FI is 3 years older, and when he proposed he had finished his Undergrad
but I had not. So we set the date for this August!! and I just graduated in May!!
But I think it really just depends on your life goals

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997 posts
Busy bee
Luvdisc
2 years ago
It really depends on multiple factors, IMO. How old are they? Are both newlyweds going to be students, or is
one already in the workforce? Does the couple in question want a full-blown wedding with a honeymoon, would
they prefer to elope at the courthouse, or do they want something in between? If both are still in
undergrad, and a wedding is important to them, then I believe that the planning and monetary costs involved
could be overwhelming. Besides, if they are in the age range for a traditional undergrad student, Id say that
most people in that age group arent ready for marriage. But there are exceptions to every rule, and I find it
nearly impossible to generalize relationships. DBF and I may end up marrying before completing
undergrad. Honestly, once were financially independent and living together, I doubt well see any reasons to
wait. I am a second-year student who just turned 20, and DBF will be starting his first year this fall just before
he turns 19. But I will add that chances are that wed elope if we decided to marry in college, so the wedding
planning and spending argument would be a moot point.
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2267 posts
Buzzing bee
crackktheskyy
Wedding: June 2015
2 years ago
I think it depends on the realtionship. For me personally, finishing school was important and I am glad that I did
Ive changed SO much since my undergraduate years. I think your early 20s are a time of tremendous
growth, but I know people that have been together since that time and are doing well so its hard to say without
knowing the couple! Me personally, though? I wouldnt do it!
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721 posts
Busy bee
anonybee0810
2 years ago
Dont get married before finishing your undergrad. I cant imagine a time in my life when money was tighter,
stress was higher, time was more precious and the future more uncertain. You have so much time and I think
youll find that youre a very different person at 21/22/23 than you are in your mid-to-late 20s, with totally
different priorities.
As for the masters degree, re-evaluate your situation 3-6 months after finishing your undergrad, and see if it
makes financial sense to marry before or after that phase of your education.
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197 posts
Blushing bee
SeeingSunshine
2 years ago
Do what is best for you! My FI and I are waiting until we finish undergrad, but arent sure if we will be getting
married before I start my masters or during it.
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432 posts
Helper bee
franklyn
2 years ago
Im still working on my undergrad. I took some time off after highschool, and travelled so am going to be 26 next
year when we get married. Weve been together 6 years and it is right in terms of our relationship to get
married. I am really looking forward to being married.
One thing to consider, if you arent disciplined, it is always way more fun to wedding plan than to do homework.
Weve been fiancially independant from our parents since we moved in together though. If your parents are
paying your rent, car, phone, etc. I can see it being awkward.
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709 posts
Busy bee
MrsKing212
Wedding: January 2015
2 years ago
Please finish school- if youre going to be together forever then whats the harm in waiting a short amount of
time.
FYI Ive been with my FI since I was 18, graduated and have worked for three years and now were getting
married. At the time I thought I was ready during college to get married but really I am so glad we waited and
have grown together, made sure were the one for each other and we are now finanically stable (just bought our
own home and were paying for our dream wedding).
Looking back, I was nowhere near ready for that when I was still at school (even though I would have sworn
blue in the face that I was!)
MrsKing212.
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1136 posts
Bumble bee
Miss_E_xx
Wedding: March 2015
2 years ago
Bunni91: Ill be finishing my masters about 6 months before our wedding and my FI will also finish another
degree at the same time I dont think you need to but if theres no rush, I think its good to focus on one big
thing at a time and give it all your time and energy (if you do have the luxury to do so..)
Were in our mid-late 20s and both work full time (in our careers, we intend to stay in these similar fields and
continue to work our way up) we definitely could have got married before finishing but we just wanted to wait
so that wed have the time to enjoy it!
If we were still early twenties Im quite sure we both would have wanted to wait.
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508 posts
Busy bee
MrsAloi
2 years ago
Bunni91: This is a really tricky decision.
Personally, I wanted to be finished with school when we set the wedding date. We got engaged while I was at
university, then set our wedding date in 3 years time to ensure I had graduated. I guess the reasoning behind it
was that I wanted to be working full time in my dream job before getting married. Also I didnt quite feel like an
adult when I was studying.. So I felt silly getting married any earlier lol. I guess we still joke around like kids..
But we have stable jobs, a house and live together comfortably.
FI and I are only 23 and get married in October. Our choice to wait was also helpful for us because it has given
us a chance to save a lot more with two full time incomes coming in every week.
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150 posts
Blushing bee
mrs2014
Wedding: July 2014
2 years ago
I really think its a presonal choice. I am getting married this summer, at the age of 23 , but i have finished two
undergrad and two masters degrees, moved not to one, but to two different countries and am fully financially
independent.
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484 posts
Helper bee
RhianfaHW
2 years ago
Do what is right for you and your SO/FI.
I did a Masters degree while my SO went into fulltime work, I told him I didnt want to be engaged during my
studies, because I knew I would be distracted and wouldnt work as hard as I should on my studies.
If you feel that you can give each part (study and wedding planning) the attention needed to do each well, then
go for it. I found my MA really hard to keep concentrated on, so neeeded no more excuses to procrastinate!
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108 posts
Blushing bee
TobeMrsD
Wedding: May 2014
2 years ago
I dont think its a problem as long as you can balance both your student and marriage responsibilities. I got
married at 23, but I had already graduated uni and started working. I dont think Im too young..
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do you think?
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Bumble bee
nawella
2 years ago
Bunni91: It really depends. FI and I are getting married in the middle of working on our doctorates, Ill be 24
and hell be 28 at our wedding (2 months yay!) We have been living together and going through school together
for 3 years. Weve found ways to make it work together. Its hard being in school but its helped us see how
strong our relationship is despite everything. Certainly, being in such a commited relationship sets limits on
career, as we chose to live in the same location, but we are getting great educations. The next step will be
finding jobs in the same area, and it may be challenging, but we are willing to make it work and have limited job
opportunities because of how important our relationship is. Also we are very responsible with chores, cooking,
grocery shopping, etc. So we are really in a place where we are ready for marriage. Soooo it depends. Its
important to evaluate your own situation. Better yet, if you arent sure, go talk to a counselor/therapist. Theyre
neutral about your decisions but they can help you think through the logistics, and you might only need to meet
a few times to do that. So worth it!
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3803 posts
Honey bee
ksn1219
Wedding: May 2016
2 years ago
Since you are 23, I am assuming you are almost done with under grad. I think it would be okay to get married
when youre that close to graduation. I also dont think you should wait til after grad school. If you were just
starting your undergrad I would think it was a little early, but not if you are toward the end.
Im 22 and have a year of undergrad left, as does my SO. We have been together for 5 years, living together for
3.5. Were not your average college couple and I definitely think we could get married while we were still in
school, since we are pretty much married anyways besides a piece of paper. On the other hand my friend is 20,
just finished her second year and is planning on taking the fall off to have her wedding and everything. I do not
think she will go back to school once she is married. I just think it really depends on the couple.
ksn1219.
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20 posts
Newbee
Panda13
Wedding: September 2014
2 years ago
Bunni91: I would wait until you are finished undergrad, for several reasons. You will not be able to enjoy the
planning of your wedding if you also have to burden of studying for your current classes plus trying to prepare
for the GREs and applying to Grad school. It will be close to impossible and it could put a serious strain on you
and potentially your relationship. Once you are in Grad school though, it really depends on your field and
degree program. A lot of people in Grad programs are already married anyways, so that really depends. In
addition, I would make sure that getting married wont affect any financial aid you are currently recieveing, since
you will go from your parents dependent to a spouse, and both you and your partners debt/income will factor
into how much aid you will get in the future.
Even if you get engaged before graduating, I would suggest waitint until youre finished with undergrad before
really planning the wedding seriously. You want to enjoy this time and not put any undue stress on yourself and
your future spouse!
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481 posts
Helper bee
SexyCatLady
1 year ago
Bunni91: Honestly, I dont see a problem with it. My partner and I lived together through college (undergrad for
me, grad school for him), and came out just fine. I dont see why being married would have made a difference;
for one, hes 10 years older than me (mid 30s) and got and though Im young, I never wanted the college
partying experience. For some people, getting married during college could work just fine!
Maybe paying for a wedding would be the only barrier? A courthouse wedding or elopement would fix that,
though.
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1141 posts
Bumble bee
jelly3
Wedding: March 2016
1 year ago
I would wait. Whats the rush?
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24445 posts
Honey Beekeeper
MrsSaltWaterTaffy
Wedding: June 2009
1 year ago
My husband and I got married right after he finished school (I finished a year early). I was 20 and we was 21.
We have been married for 5.5 years now. If you are supporting yourself already, then I dont really see a
problem with it. Every relationship is different and what works for some wouldnt work for others.
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37 posts
Newbee
jessmm
Wedding: June 2015
1 year ago
Im getting married in June and Ill have about 1 1/2-2 years left because I changed my major. Hes graduating
in June, but I think it depends on the couple. I wouldnt recommend it for everyone, but Im very happy and I
know other people whove gotten married before they graduate and its lasted.
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644 posts
Busy bee
natassiakay
1 year ago
My Dad is pretty traditional meaning my fiance and I werent going to move in together before getting married.
So we knew we wanted to get married close after graduation. He proposed to me right after my Junior year of
college. He had just finished his first year of his Masters. He asked for my dads blessing before hand and my
dad said yes as long as we wait until after I graduated. He of course agreed and so thats what we did. I was
planning the wedding all through my Senior year which was fun but took a lot of time, but everything was local
since we would be getting married on campus. He finished his Masters and is half a year younger than me
which is pretty impressive but it all worked well for us because our families were happy and therefore super
supportive financially, physically, and emotionally with our wedding. Good luck!
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When to get married: Before or after graduation?

These days I am seeing some articles (Biye: Porashona Sheshe, na Majhei) going on
in the womens pages on this topic, when is the right time for a woman to get married:
before or after graduation from college (Undergraduate program). Recently I received
an article from a young woman from Dhaka on the same topic. She nicely presented
some case studies showing the fact that getting married before graduation seems to be
a popular choice but when something unexpected happens (sickness, death, divorce) it
leads to much less favorable consequences. Hence she, like other articles I mentioned,
came to the conclusion that women should get married only after they have earned
their bachelors degree. I was wondering is it really that black and white decision?
Lets take a good look on this topic.
The history of womens education in Indian Subcontinent both at the primary and
college levels is fairly new. It was the parents responsibility to educate the girls with
religious rituals and household activities in order to find a bread earner (read
husband) for her. So the parents wanted to get it done as soon as possible because
that is the only way they could make sure there is someone to support their daughter
after their death.
As time changed women now-a-days go for higher educations and some of them have
their own professional careers as well. This education is supposed to make a woman
more financially independent therefore it should be much less of a goal, when the
marriage issue comes, to find a person who can support her (financially). It seems
counter intuitive though, in groom searching criteria it is still a top priority to make
sure the guy makes or has the potential to make good money. So whenever there is a
possibility of a potential groom, parents and in some cases girls themselves dont
hesitate to get married before finishing their degrees.
There is couple of reasons that we can think of that works behind this mentality:
1. Financial security is not good enough in our society for a woman to live by herself.
The society still does not accept the fact very well that a women may live a decent life
on her own and not get married. Have you noticed, almost no landlord in
Bangladesh rents out (apt/house) to a single woman (who never married before)? She
has to stay either with the immediate family, in a working womens hostel or with
some close relative.
This might be one of the biggest reasons parents still are concerned that they should
make sure their daughters are in good hands.
2. Ideally a person should be able to graduate by the age of 22 (18 years for HSC+ 4
year for undergrad degree), in reality a person becomes 26-28 years old when he/she
comes out of that program. Thanks to our session jams and student politics in the
public universities!
While a young woman waited to get the undergrad degree, the biological clock did not
wait, it kept on ticking. Any knowledgeable person in womens reproductive health
knows there is only a specific period with a number of years when there are higher
chances to conceive. So if someone wants to have babies in their lives they would not
wait too long to get married. (Just for completeness sake, similar fact applies for
mens reproductive health as well; however, it is outside the scope of this article.)
Now lets see, If a woman want both a family and a career then what are the options?
Is it even possible to have both?
I believe yes, it is possible. But be advised that it is not something that will happen
automatically. From early age you need to set your priorities. Even when you are 18
years old you are grown up enough to think about your future path.
First of all, dont ruin your higher studies by falling in love with the good looking guy
across the street. Be open to girls and boys alike. By open I mean treat the boys as
friends as you would to a nice girl. Its okay to like someone but dont get too
carried away with it. Prepare yourself for your university admission. After you are in a
university, you will have boys as your class mates, study partners etc. You will learn
how it is to work with them. You will learn how to see good things in people when
you get a chance to interact with them through your academic programs. Be open and
respectful. It is not a good idea to keep aloof from boys and to make friends with girls
only. When you respect people for their quality you will earn respect from them as
well. In Bangladesh, for most of the people universities are the first place where they
get to mix with people of the opposite sex. If you are not careful about your and
others limits that might get harmful as well.
Anyway, as you are heading towards your graduation, you will get a fair knowledge
about the actual qualities in people including boys other than their look or the
potential to make money. If you learn this lesson well it wont be too difficult for you
to find a quality person as your life partner (sometimes with some help from the
parents, friend and/or other family members) as well as complete your graduation
without going to a gambling like route of our traditional arranged marriage system.
As I say this, it is very possible that you wont find a person as quickly as your other
girlfriends are getting a husband or a boyfriend. Dont get disheartened. If you want to
architect your own life you have to take some risk. That is okay as long as you do
things you believe in. When you do things just because that will make you like a cool
girl or a good girl, it is much harder for you to continue on that when something goes
wrong. In those cases people tend to accuse others without really trying to solve the
issue.
So girls, believe in yourself, be open and respectful to others, look for quality, and be
ready to take a calculated risk. Or, no one will be able to stand behind you. There is no
cure all solution for ones life, different ways work for different people as long as one
knows what his/her goal is.
It is hard to go against the family the society and most importantly to loose the
comfort of being taken care of. But trust me, when you know your intentions are good
you know you will overcome all those difficulties Deep in your heart do believe
that you will overcome some day.
Sometimes to encouraging to getting marry before 30 age is better for
the individual as well as the society. On the other hand, there are facts
for the worse impact for both individual and society too.
As per the main point, if a person marries before 30 ages then they
have more time to spend the time with their loved ones before they
die. For the girls their parents have made many restrictions for many
things. But when they marry soon they have get more freedom to go
out with her husband and enjoy the life more. And also when they
marry soon means, they will have babies soon too. Then before they
get old they can see their babies getting grow and able to help them
healthy and financially stable way. This is good for the individual wise
as well as the society wise. As young crowd will increase than the older
generation is better for the any of society. So people who are agreeing
with the main point are always thinking marrying earlier ages is the
best for a person's life.
Contrary, If a person marry before 30 age, that means they might most
probably have stopped their studies in the middle and have married
with someone. When they are marrying, they need to take
responsibilities more toward the family. Then there will not have time
to continue the studies and that is one of bad side of marrying early
ages. and also normally 30 age is the time that person get more idea
about the life and the responsibilities and that is the age people
become more table in their career. Mostly women have to sacrifice
their professional life due to early marrying. This is very unfair from the
individual wise as that make the waste of her learning till then. And
also for the society wise, it will effect to reduce the work force in the
country and this will lead to increase less educate people into the
society.
As I mentioned there are pros and cons by marrying before or after 30
age. But my opinion is to marrying before 30 age is not suitable as
there are more bad impacts that good. In my point of view, If a person
marry after 30 age they have more time to finish their studies and gain
good experience of their career and also they will get more time to get
good understand of the life. That makes them to be more responsible
and make them towards the family. So it is better to encourage people
to marry after 30 ages when they are more stable in every angle and
this is good for the individuals and also the society in a good way.
The Surprising Benefits of Marrying

Young
In May, Kate and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary.

I was 22 and she was 24 when we got hitched. Kate was in the middle of getting her
masters and I was finishing up my undergrad degree. We lived in a small apartment,
worked together at Jamba Juice (come now, is there anything more manly than
knowing how to blend up a Strawberries Wild?), and shared both a car and a pile of
student debt.
I wouldnt have had it any other way its been an incredible ten years.
But the relatively young age at which I got married makes me something of an
anomaly these days. I remember when the mom of one of my high school buddies
found out I was getting hitched before graduating, she looked at me with something
akin to horror, and asked, Why?
Its become an article of faith in contemporary culture that you should put off
marriage so you can focus on your education and career first. Consequently, the
average marrying age for both men and women has increased significantly over the
past 50 years. In 1960 the median age for first marriage was 23 for men and 20 for
women; its now 29 and 27, respectively. As the researchers at the National
Marriage Project at the University of Virginia put it, Culturally, young adults have
increasingly come to see marriage as a capstone rather than a cornerstone
that is, something they do after they have all their other ducks in a row, rather than
a foundation for launching into adulthood and parenthood.
Is delaying marriage always the best path, though? While getting married young
isnt for everyone, there are actually some distinct benefits to doing so, and today
well talk about what they are.
Before we get there, however, lets first look into the big knock against young
marriage: that it makes a couple more likely to divorce.
Does Young Marriage Increase Your Chances of Divorce?
Our modern trepidation about getting married young, and the idea that its wise to
delay ones nuptials, didnt just appear out of the ether. Research shows that
couples who get married before age 25 are twice as likely to get divorced.
There are several factors at the root of this stat. For starters, some folks who get
married before age 25 may be doing so with less forethought and intention. Keep in
mind that before age 25 encompasses not just people in their early 20s, but
everyone on down to teenagers, who may be getting married impulsively or
because an unexpected baby came along. In fact, once you hit age 25, divorce rates
go down by almost 50%.
Economics is another big factor. Younger people who are just starting out in life are
often battling financial problems that can put a lot of stress on a marriage.
Finally, a young couple may have children soon after getting married, and babies
are acute stressors as well as money leeches (dem diapers!).
In short, it is true that those who marry young have a higher chance of divorce, and
its likely due to the pressures of immaturity, strained finances, and the
responsibilities of child-rearing.
Yet, none of these factors are set in stone, nor impossible to overcome. You can get
married young and with intention, you dont have to have kids right off the bat, and
financial problems can be handled maturely, even if that means scrimping and
saving for a few years.
So too, taking the plunge earlier on comes with a bunch of unique benefits.
The Benefits of Marrying Young
When it comes to having a happy marriage, researchers have found that getting
hitched between the ages of 22 and 25 seems to be the sweet spot. Thats just an
average, of course, but the benefits outlined below mostly focus on young as
being ones early to mid-twenties.
You (and those you date) will be carrying less baggage. I was recently talking
to a single friend in his 30s who was bemoaning the dating scene for folks his age.
He said, When you look at it, if a person is reasonably normal, theyve probably
had about one semi-serious relationship each year, or every other year, since
theyve been teenagers. When you get to your thirties, youre carrying more than a
decades worth of break-ups, lingering feelings for past partners, trust issues, and
disappointments with you. Everyone you date has got a bunch of baggage.
When you marry young, you and your wife have less exes, old flames, comparisons,
and retroactive jealousy of each others past relationships to deal with. You can start
life together with more of the guileless freshness that lends itself to unabashed and
lasting romance.
Youre more likely to marry someone with whom youre highly
compatible. A lot of folks put off marriage so they can shop around longer, thinking
that the more they look, the better chance theyll have of finding someone whos
just the right match for them.
Yet research suggests youre more likely to marry a true peer and someone whom
you have lots in common with if you marry in your 20s as opposed to later. It makes
sense. Couples who get married in their 20s often meet in college, a time in your life
when youre surrounded by tons of people who are of similar age and background
and have similar interests. Its easier to find someone whos the yin to your yang in
the classes, clubs, and extracurriculars youre interested in, than it is to sort, or
swipe, through a random assortment of women online.
So too, the longer you wait to get married, the more ideal potential partners get
taken off the market. As Dr. Meg Jay, author of The Defining Decade puts it, Even
though searching may help you find a better partner, the pool of available singles
shallows over time, perhaps in more ways than one.
Youll have more sex (even years after you marry). Staying single may seem
like a good way to keep the sexual good times rolling. Yet surprisingly
enough, research has actually shown that married men have more and better sex
than their single peers. Why would this be? Getting a woman to come home with
you, even if youve mastered PUA techniques, takes time and effort. Instead of
having to troll nightclubs or lucking out that the girl on Tinder youre interested in
will also swipe right, married guys got the Mrs. to go home to.
If you want to enjoy a robust married sex life even in your 30s and 40s, the research
also suggests that couples who tied the knot in their mid-twenties have more sex
than couples who got hitched later on. Why? Researchers arent sure. Maybe its
because you have more energy for sex in your 20s, and what starts out hot and
heavy, echoes on that way through the decades.
Youre more likely to describe your marriage as happy. A 2010 study found
that couples who married between the ages of 22 and 25 were more likely to
describe their marriage as very happy than couples who got married in other age
brackets. The researchers speculate the reason marital satisfaction declines after
the age of 25 is that spouses that get married older often feel like theyre settling
with a less-than-ideal marriage partner. (See the point above on the early twenties
being the best time to find someone with whom youre strongly compatible.) More
sex may play a role as well.
My own, as yet unstudied theory, is that it likely has to do with the state of your
brain in your early twenties. Its prefrontal cortex the mature, disciplined, futureplanning part has largely formed, so youre not as impulsive as you were in your
teens. But, it hasnt completely finished settling yet (that happens around age 26),
so its still capable of feeling the kind of intense passion, excitement, comfort with
risk-taking, and true high from bonding with others that mark ones younger years.
It may be this perfect combo of ration and emotion that allows the 20-something
brain to experience love in a more visceral and deeper way, and launches young
married couples into a stronger emotional connection with their spouse than their
older marrying counterparts. By ones late twenties, the brain has finished setting
up and its executive center wields stronger control; as a consequence, the passions
get checked to a greater degree. Youre steadier, but it takes more to get excited
about things, including relationships.
You grow together. Its oft been noted that its more difficult to join two lives
together when each party has been living independently for a long time, than when
a couple starts out life together early on. Theres actually a neurological reason
behind that observation.
Another of the unique aspects of the developing 20-something brain is that you can
intentionally shape its pathways so that theyre primed for future success in certain
areas. During your adolescence (which again, lasts until the mid-20s), your brain
overproduces synapses; then, it organizes and prunes this overabundance of neural
pathways, getting rid of those not in use and strengthening and stabilizing those
that are much like an arborist prunes dead branches off a tree. What we dont
use, we lose. As a consequence, Jay explains: We become what we hear and see
and do every day. We dont become what we dont hear and see and do every day.
Before this cognitive rewiring process is complete, your brain is more flexible and
pliable than it will ever be again in your life. If what youre seeing every day is your
spouse, and what youre doing every day is working on a relationship with her, then
the neural pathways youll retain once your brain hardens will be forged in a way
that is intertwined with hers, and predisposed to support your togetherness.
When you delay marriage, not only do you become more set in your ways, but your
brains a lot more set too. Its definitely still possible to hack relational us
pathways through the abundance of independent me trails that were deeply
carved in ones adolescence, its just harder to do.
Youll have an easier time navigating your 20s, and can be more successful
in reaching your professional and academic goals. Your 20s can be a difficult
time. Youre balancing school and work, trying to get your finances in shape,
working to get a handle on your new adult responsibilities, and figuring out and
launching your career. Having a spouse by your side during this time can make your
20s easier and more successful in a couple key ways.
First, a spouse can be a vital support as you finish your schooling and embark on a
career. During my undergrad years, Kate edited my papers and helped me study for
the LSAT. During law school, she provided a much needed confidence boost when
summer internship offers werent extended, or when I didnt perform well on a final
exam. In turn, I acted as a sounding board for Kate as she worked on her masters
thesis, helped her get organized and plan for her first teaching job, and provided a
helping hand when she got stressed during both pursuits. Could we have made it
through our 20s by ourselves? Sure. But having each others backs certainly made it
a lot easier.
Marriage also helps you reach your career and academic goals by providing stability
and fostering focus. Socializing and dating requires a lot of time, money, and
emotional bandwidth. When youve found your partner-in-crime, youre able to save
your money and direct your energy towards your other life goals. Indeed, studies
show that married men in their 20s drink less and work harder than their single
peers.
Thats not to say that the fun times end once you get married though. Theres a
prevalent myth out there that early marriage will prevent you from doing cool stuff
before you turn 30, like traveling the world or starting a business. On the contrary,
having a spouse to pursue these activities with can make such adventures both
more enjoyable and easier to execute. I traveled far more after I got married than I
had as a single man. And whats easier than having the co-founder of your start-up
living under the same roof as you?
Your financial picture may improve. A lot of folks put off marriage until they feel
their finances are sound, which in todays world, is a goal thats harder and harder
to achieve. As we saw above, financial issues can indeed put a strain on young
marriages. Yet such challenges can be handled with maturity, and what may be
stressful in the short-term can work towards your long-term interests.
Research shows that getting married can significantly improve your financial
picture. According to Alex Roberts at the UVAs National Marriage Project, those who
marry see income increases of 50 to 100 percent, and net wealth increases of
about 400 to 600 percent. Continuously married households had about double the
income and four times the net worth of the continuously divorced and nevermarried, on average.
While some of this effect can be chalked up to selective mating high-earning,
high-saving folks are more likely to get married, and to marry those like them
much of the benefit seems to come from marriage itself. For example, research has
shown that married men make up to $18k more a year than their single peers, even
after controlling for differences in education, race, ethnicity, regional
unemployment, and scores on a test of general knowledge. Why would marriage
have this effect? Well, as just mentioned, married men work harder and
smarter. Marriage also allows spouses to pool their resources together. Finally, and
perhaps most importantly, marriage encourages accountability and fiscal
responsibility your priorities change when youre no longer only looking out for
yourself.
The point people miss, Roberts says, is that marriage is a tremendous wealth
building institution. This fact sets up a catch-22 thats all too prevalent in our
culture: folks are waiting to get married until their finances improve, but getting
married could improve their finances!
Youll have an easier time having kids, increase their chances of being
healthy, and be better able to keep up with them. While modern advances
have allowed folks to postpone having children, the reality is that both men and
women have a biological clock and having kids gets harder and riskier the longer
you wait. The research shows that children of older fathers have increased risks for
several physical and mental disorders compared to children of younger fathers.
Besides being easier to conceive when you and your wife are younger, its also just
plain easier to raise your resulting progeny. Before I had kids, people always told me
how tiring they could be, but I didnt really believe them I figured I was fit and
would be the exception to the rule! But Ill be darned if babies and toddlers are not
as exhausting as all get out. Consequently, Im glad I started having kids in my 20s
when I had a little more energy to spare. Im also glad I wont be in my 70s when I
have grandkids!
Dont get me wrong I know plenty of older guys who do great as older dads.
Theyre in shape and full of vim and vigor and can keep up with their kiddos and
career. But even theyve said to me privately that they wish they were 30 and
starting a family rather than 40.
You dont have to cram marriage, career, and kids into a few short
years. Many put off marriage and children to focus on their education and career,
only to have all of these responsibilities simultaneously, and stressfully, collide in
their 30s.
If you marry when youre 30, and you want to have kids, youll have less flexibility
as to when to have them (and how youd like to space em). Youll have to get
started with the baby-making process fairly soon after tying the knot, which gives
you less child-free years with your wife some of the most enjoyable years of a
marriage. And at the same time that youre settling into married life, and adjusting
to being a dad, your career is likely starting to take off too. Unsurprisingly, research
shows that those who delay marriage and children end up being saddled with
greater stress.
Pursuing marriage, children, and career in successive phases, allows you to enjoy
each season to the fullest.
Conclusion: #$&*! Are You Saying Everyone Should Get Married Young?
Marrying age is one of those topics that gets people all riled up and wanting to spew
profanities. For whatever reason, discussing lifestyle choices tends to breed
defensiveness perhaps because choice itself has become our modern morality.
So let me be clear before we part ways: while marrying young can impart all the
benefits outlined above, Im not arguing that getting married younger is always
better than getting married when youre older. Nor am I saying that if youre young
and single, you need to rush out and put a ring on the finger of some gal.
Like most things in life, there are pros and cons to each approach, and life
circumstances are going to affect which path someone takes. The most important
factor in a happy marriage is not age, but choosing the right person. Sometimes
that happens earlier on in your life, and sometimes it takes longer. And those who
find the peanut butter to their jelly later in life can absolutely go on to have
spectacularly happy marriages. The research above deals with statistical
generalizations, and there are plenty of outliers that belie the rule. Winston
Churchill and Jimmy Stewart, for example, married their wives at 34 and 41
respectively, and yet they enjoyed two of the happiest and longest-lasting
marriages in the pantheon of eminent men.
Rather than proving the superiority of marrying young, my goal with this article is to
simply provide some reassurance to the young gents out there who are in their
early to mid-twenties, have already met the right person, and feel like theyre ready
to get hitched, but are scared to pull the trigger because theyve heard the constant
drumbeat of Marry young and youll regret it! In truth, you neednt be afraid to
take the plunge; as a study that analyzed marrying age and future happiness
concluded: most persons have little or nothing to gain in the way of marital
success by deliberately postponing marriage beyond the mid twenties.
In other words, once youve found the gal you cant live without, you should
absolutely feel confident in deciding to take on the rest of your lives side-by-side,
and embarking with her on one of lifes greatest adventures.
Did you get married young? What benefits do you think came from it?
Alternatively, if you got married older, share what you feel are the
advantages of that decision.
1.
2.
My bf of 6 years recently proposed and I will graduate with my bachelors in biology in

Spring 2014. He is working as a teacher for two years before going to law school. We will be
living together for the two years. We do not know where we will be going to professional school
yet. I plan on working as a research assistant for the year between undergraduate and med
school. We are a focused and supportive couple and understand our relationship may have to be
sacrificed for our education at times.
The Question:
When is the best time to get married when one person in the relationship is in medical school?
What are the pros and cons? Does anyone know if the financial aid is impacted and if it is better
or worse under married status? He will be taking out loans as well for law school. We obviously
do not know if we will be in the same area/school but we can handle the long distance
relationship. We both agree to go to the best schools we get acceptances to. Is there any criticism
in the interview and/or decision process of the admissions committees of medical schools for
being married? Has anyone been married while their spouse is away from them at medical
school? Any other information would be greatly appreciated!
Additional Info:
He is thinking we will get married after professional school but if marriage means we will be
saving money and other benefits then we will get married before professional school.
Additionally if it worked out, we both have loved ones who are declining in age and mental
clarity that ideally would be at our wedding. =) However, we will be on a tight budget for the
next two years so there will not be much money for a wedding.
Thanks!
doctorQT2690, 03.25.13
#1
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4.
abolt18Turkey can never beat cow 2+ Year Member
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doctorQT2690 said:
Background Info:
My bf of 6 years recently proposed and I will graduate with my bachelors in biology in Spring 2014. He is working
as a teacher for two years before going to law school. We will be living together for the two years. We do not know
where we will be going to professional school yet. I plan on working as a research assistant for the year between
undergraduate and med school. We are a focused and supportive couple and understand our relationship may have
to be sacrificed for our education at times.
The Question:
When is the best time to get married when one person in the relationship is in medical school?
What are the pros and cons? Does anyone know if the financial aid is impacted and if it is better or
worse under married status? He will be taking out loans as well for law school. We obviously do not know if
we will be in the same area/school but we can handle the long distance relationship. We both agree to go to the best
schools we get acceptances to. Is there any criticism in the interview and/or decision process of the
admissions committees of medical schools for being married? Has anyone been married while their
spouse is away from them at medical school? Any other information would be greatly appreciated!
Additional Info:
He is thinking we will get married after professional school but if marriage means we will be saving money and
other benefits then we will get married before professional school. Additionally if it worked out, we both have loved
ones who are declining in age and mental clarity that ideally would be at our wedding. =) However, we will be on a
tight budget for the next two years so there will not be much money for a wedding.
Thanks!
Click to expand...
Sooooo I couldn't answer a few of the questions but I've bolded the ones that I have an opinion
on. My wife is a stay-at-home mom and therefore will not be working while I'm in school so
being separated is not an issue. As far as finances, I do not receive any more loans being married
than I would being single. Makes no difference on that matter.
I do not feel that being married hindered me in any way during the application/interview
period. In fact I feel it gave me something to talk about as it is a major source of my motivation
to succeed.
I love being married and wouldn't change how my life is for anything! I wish you the best of luck
and hope you figure out the best option for you and your future family.
abolt18, 03.25.13
#2
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TAMallick
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As early as possible you should complete your marriage.

TAMallick, 04.04.13
#3
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J DUBWatch my TAN walk!! Lifetime Donor 10+ Year Member
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IF you are def going to get married, I would do it before all the fun of med school starts..........
once you are in it, little time for much else.
J DUB, 04.06.13
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gostudyDead Giveaway 10+ Year Member
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There was a thread about this a couple of years ago. Here's my post:
gostudy said:
No perfect time but each year has it's advantages and disadvantages.
Before year 1. Adv: before anything gets started and crazy. Presumably have time to schedule and plan wedding
before med school starts. Also the chance to "go through" med school together as a new married couple.
Disadv: may feel like have to spend time with new spouse and thus not get to know new classmates. First year can
be stressful and in turn put stress on the marriage.
Before year 2. Adv: Seems like the most ideal time to do it. First year is under the belt. Have had one year to get
acquainted with classmates without the responsibility of being married. Also in the traditional 2 pre-clinical 2
clinical years schedule the first summer is one for vacation/research. Disadv: none really.
Before year 3. Adv: Most people on the classic schedule get a few weeks of between Step 1 and the beginning of 3rd
year so there is time to schedule a wedding. Disadv: Probably the worst time to get married though imo. Planning a
wedding and studying for Step 1 is not for the faint of heart. Plus the first year of marriage is during 3rd year
clinicals which can be tough for the couple.
Before year 4. Adv: it's an undercover good time to get hitched. It's when I did it. Your first year of marriage is
during 4th year which is hands down the best year of med school. The first half of the year can be tough with sub-Is,
aways, and interviews but come spring it is chill time until intern year starts. Plus you can get a year of marriage
under your belt before the craziness of intern year starts Disadv: as mentioned, the first half of the year can be
hectic and stressful on the marriage. Plus finding time to schedule a wedding between the end of 3rd year and the
beginning of 4th year can be tough.
Before intern year. Seems like a logical choice to many (and also to many parents that want their young student
doctors to finish med school first). Adv: time at the end of 4th year to plan and schedule wedding. Time between 4th
year and intern year for a wedding and extended honeymoon. Disadv: intern year is a beast in terms of time,
emotions, and spirits. Imo it would be a tough year to be the first year of marriage. If a couple is ready to get
married at some point during med school I say do it and not wait until just before intern year. It's a strain for any
marriage let alone a brand new one.

In the end you and your partner have to decide what's best for YOU in YOUR own unique situation. All others can
do is give advice and perspective but no advice and perspective is perfect.
Click to expand...
gostudy, 04.14.13
#5
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LollygagI'm a girl 2+ Year Member
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gostudy said:
There was a thread about this a couple of years ago. Here's my post:
Very interesting, that was a pretty good summary!

Lollygag, 04.20.13
#6
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doctorQT2690
Joined:
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Messages:
Thanks for the advice everyone! Very helpful! =)

doctorQT2690, 04.28.13
#7
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summersimpson 2+ Year Member
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OP: thanks for starting this thread. I've been wondering the same.
My question:
If you have a SO that does have a significant income but you aren't married, then you don't have
to mention it at all on the aid applications. If you were married would you have to mention it on
your aid applications and wouldn't that impact how much they offered you?
For example: on the FAFSA do you have to state that you are married and provide your spouses
income,etc? Then the amt of loans may change depending on this?
I understand there what a previous post about this but they said their SO was a stay at home
mom so that's a little different situation. I thought a significant income would be different and
may impact aid.
I'm asking because I honestly have no earthly idea. The chance that it could decrease any loans,
grants, etc has kept me from getting married. I'll be leaving school with too much debt as it is.
We know we will get married, and that's all either of us has cared about for 8+ yrs.
The bigger question may be when to have kids. Gulp!! That's for another forum another day.
I really appreciate the post by gostudy! Great info. Thanks!
summersimpson, 05.01.13
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abolt18Turkey can never beat cow 2+ Year Member
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In med school, the amount of loans you qualify for is always going to be the same whether you
are married or not, filthy rich or not, filing jointly or not. For med school you'll just get the same
garbage everyone else gets (i.e. 6.8% UNSUBSIDIZED stafford, and 7.9% gradplus.)
If you're asking about undergrad loans, I have no idea.
abolt18, 05.01.13
#9
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summersimpson 2+ Year Member
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abolt18 said:
In med school, the amount of loans you qualify for is always going to be the same whether you are married or not,
filthy rich or not, filing jointly or not. For med school you'll just get the same garbage everyone else gets (i.e. 6.8%
UNSUBSIDIZED stafford, and 7.9% gradplus.)
If you're asking about undergrad loans, I have no idea.
Thanks. I'm talking about dental school, which I believe is the same as med school (for the most
part). From what you said, I understand the loans you specified wouldn't change if I married
someone that has an income, which is good. I wasn't sure about that.
What about HPSL?
The Health Profession Student Loan
My assumption is the loan amount for the HPSL would definitely change because it is need
based. Does that sound right to anyone else?
I don't believe I will qualify for HPSL regardless of being married b/c of my parents, but I'll
probably be submitting it anyway. I'm not receiving help from my family and I'm hopeful that
their income may only be negatively affecting that one loan (HPSL) and none of the other
miscellaneous grants and loans that I may be able to receive.
summersimpson, 05.01.13
#10
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doctorQT2690 said:
Background Info:
We are a focused and supportive couple and understand our relationship may have to be sacrificed for our
education at times.
As a parent, I would advise you to wait until your professional schooling is done.
You will be more likely to choose a school that is right for you and not just near fiance.
You will be more likely to find a residency that is right for you and not just near fiance.
You will be more likely to complete med school.
You and he will have explicit and implicit assumptions about marriage.
What does he expect from a wife?
What do you expect from a husband?
If you were married, what would you expect in terms of travelling to each other?
Also, you will gain more knowledge about each other.

Say you find that you are always having to travel to him after you are married. Wouldn't you
have liked to know that before you are married?
l
bopper, 05.14.13
#11
14.
Loptometriste 2+ Year Member
Joined:
09.12.12
Messages:
286
Status:
Optometry Student
As a married person, I would recommend getting married first.

If you were my child, I would recommend getting married first.
You don't need to change who you are to get married. You do need to discuss what choices are
the best for you as a couple. If you are planning on getting married, you are already doing that.
I can honestly say, I study harder and do better in school as a married person than I did before. I
have more invested into my studies than just my future. It is our future.
So, take the stress of "getting married someday" off your shoulders and go do it. I recommend
you to elope. Weddings are too much work for what they are worth.
Loptometriste, 05.15.13
#12
15.
Columbia09 2+ Year Member
Joined:
10.21.12
Messages:
785
Location:
A little planet called Earth
Status:
Pre-Medical
Allow me to add some spice to this discussion. My boyfriend and I are very close and we've been
dating for over a year and a half now. I believe he is the one for me but heres the thing, we aren't
out to our parents. Yes we are in a homosexual relationship and I fear what will happen if I'm
still financially dependent to my parents while in med school. I see myself with him and he
doesn't exactly know what he's doing after graduation but there is a high probability that we will
still be together while I'm in med school. The overall point of this is that while I'm in med school
I'm still financially dependent to my parents and I want to really be with my bf. I feel med school
will keep me under my parents domain for years and this might mean we can't have a normal
life together and get married etc. Any advice from other closeted med students out there ?
Columbia09, 06.15.13
#13
16.
DrZedDo No Harm 2+ Year Member
Joined:
02.12.13
Messages:
115
Columbia09 said:
Allow me to add some spice to this discussion. My boyfriend and I are very close and we've been dating for over a
year and a half now. I believe he is the one for me but heres the thing, we aren't out to our parents. Yes we are in a
homosexual relationship and I fear what will happen if I'm still financially dependent to my parents while in med
school. I see myself with him and he doesn't exactly know what he's doing after graduation but there is a high
probability that we will still be together while I'm in med school. The overall point of this is that while I'm in med
school I'm still financially dependent to my parents and I want to really be with my bf. I feel med school will keep
me under my parents domain for years and this might mean we can't have a normal life together and get married
etc. Any advice from other closeted med students out there ?
How are you still financially dependent on your parents. If all else falls to crap, just take out the
student loans like everyone else.
DrZed, 06.19.13
#14
17.
Joined:
10.21.12
Messages:
785
Location:
Status:
Pre-Medical
DrZed said:
How are you still financially dependent on your parents. If all else falls to crap, just take out the student loans like
everyone else.
They pay for my school and I live in their house

#15
18.
jakeisloveMS IV 2+ Year Member
Joined:
10.29.12
Messages:
1,191
Location:
Upstate, New York
Status:
Medical Student
There's no real advantage to being married in medical school.

jakeislove, 07.07.13
#16
19.
Joined:
10.21.12
Messages:
785
Location:
Status:
Pre-Medical
canadianinusa said:
Columbia09, tough situation. I don't think it's urgent though. It sounds like your boyfriend is also in the closet so
unless he's also wanting to be out with your relationship, you have some time to figure it out.
Money is never strings-free and it will be up to you to choose what it's worth. Lots of people go to med school on
loans so if you decide to come out, and your parents cut you off, it shouldn't stop you.
Came out to them a couple of weeks ago. Wasn't cut off

#17
AspiringERMD and Amandani1193 like this.
20.
nmnjr
Joined:
06.26.12
Messages:
Columbia09 said:
Came out to them a couple of weeks ago. Wasn't cut off
Glad to hear it!

nmnjr, 08.22.13
#18
21.
Carl SeitanBest poster ever 2+ Year Member
Joined:
02.25.13
Messages:
674
Location:
Southeast
Status:
Medical Student
jakeislove said:
There's no real advantage to being married in medical school.
There's no real disadvantage to being married in medical school.

Carl Seitan, 08.22.13
#19

Getting Married Before Finishing School

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Getting Married Before Finishing School

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Getting married before finishing school

what do you think?

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