Evaluating Sexual Permissiveness in Comparative Cultures

Llowell Williams (Nov 2009)

Margaret Mead's book, Coming of Age in Samoa, raised many questions and provoked a great deal of thought and debate within the anthropological world. Near the center of this discussion is the nature of sexual restrictiveness versus sexual openness: how do they compare? What are the characteristics of societies from either end of the spectrum, and what kind of people do they produce? How does one even define restrictiveness? The first part of this paper is aimed at creating definitions and criteria, which will be used to evaluate Samoa in such terms. While setting up such criteria may be difficult in its own right, it will be deciding which Samoa to evaluate that proves to be the real challenge: there is Mead's Samoa, that is, the world of adolescent sexual behavior in 1920s American Samoa; Freeman's Samoa, the world of 1940s Western Samoan chiefdom and public respectability; and of course there are the other anthropological works on Samoa, which only create further varying accounts and versions of Samoa. Another difficult consideration this paper will attempt to take into account is the contradiction, yet co-existence of often distinctly different public and private practices and social expectations. Public practice, here, meaning the ideals associated with behavior commonly held as standard and acceptable within a particular culture. On a deeper, less overt level are private practices which refer to, here, as the actual behaviors people engage in. Often, private practices can differ from public practice, however this is not necessarily the case.

Sexual experience and knowledge The first criteria with which sexual restrictiveness will be defined and measured

against, deals with the nature of how and when sexual experience and knowledge is taught, gained, and the social expectations surrounding the process. First, it is important to note that although experience and knowledge can (and often do) go hand-in-hand, that is not necessarily the case, at least initially. Often, awareness and understanding of sex can precede any actual participation. In this sense, a culture could be evaluated in terms of willingness to talk about sex with children; at what age, and in what sort of detail is this education? Naturally, this preexperience knowledge of sex is often not obtained in such a formal fashion; a child may stumble upon parents or siblings in the act, or may simply observe an animal like a cat or a dog engaging in intercourse. It would be important to evaluate how much knowledge is officially imparted or withheld. It would also be important to consider how carefully children are shielded (or not) from accidental voyeurism and consequent types of education. Experience, then, would be the next thing to consider. How is experience gained, and at what age within a culture? How frequently does one engage in sex after this initial experience? How is this teenage sex viewed by parents and adults? It will be argued that a culture in which children learn about, initially experience, and engage in regular intercourse starting at a young age is a more sexually permissive society than one in which children are intentionally left ignorant of sexuality until a late age and in which people have later initial sexual experiences, and possibly less instances of intercourse and number of partners overall. Within this first criteria, Samoa could be regarded as leaning towards sexual permissiveness, based on several points. Mead explained that knowledge of sex was simply unavoidable for Samoan children. Families live in small buildings with few rooms, and often this meant many people sharing a small sleeping area; privacy was a rare thing. Aside from this, it was common for a Samoan village to have unconfined animals like pigs or dogs moving about at

their leisure. So even if a child somehow escaped seeing humans engaging in the act, they were likely to stumble upon it at one time or another in some form. (CoA:12-14) Around the time a child reaches puberty, some formalized sex education is given. Some accounts suggest that this is done, for males, through practice with an older, more experienced woman. Since Samoans seem to value sexual competency, this would be the most logical way to learn. Such practices clearly further help to indicate a permissive society within Samoa.

Standards and expectations for male/female behavior and interaction Standards of societal permissiveness towards sex could also be evaluated by examining the ways the two sexes interact: expectations for inter-gender contact and etiquette, for children, adolescents, and adults. How are children raised and encouraged to treat their peers of the opposite sex? Children may be expected to remain in gendered, separate groups in a more restrictive society. Similar attitudes about sex division could also be demonstrated in other areas of one's life. What are relationships between the sexes within kin groups like? Most societies have an incest taboo; however, there are degrees to which this taboo is manifested in everyday interactions. Brother and sister interactions are one way to evaluate this. What kind of cultural norms are there for the brother/sister relationship? A more restrictive society may emphasize the need for brother and sister to remain apart. Another place to possibly glean some insight into gender relations and restrictiveness is in relationship pairs (married and otherwise). A more restrictive society may have certain expectations of the ways in which those who are involved in a relationship together. This could include the degree to which public displays of affection (i.e. holding hands, hugging, kissing, etc) are acceptable. How does expectations for men and women in a non-marital relationship compare to those for a couple who is married? Do the norms

between these relationships differ? Coming of Age talks about several of these points. Mead noted how young children were typically expected to associate only with other peers of their age and gender once they leave the toddler age. These separate groups of boys and girls avoided each other; any boy seen with a group of girls would be heavily teased and taunted by the other boys, and the same for a girl known to be playing or hanging around boys. An extension of this is what is referred to as the brother/sister taboo, which puts these norms to an even further extreme of avoidance. This type of gendered grouping continues in similar fashion through teen years and into adulthood, with men avoiding the company of women unless specifically or openly involved in a relationship or married. An example would be the way in which men and women who are seen walking together are immediately understood to be involved. Even then, if that is the case, the couple are not expected to touch in public (or show any form of affection). Intimacy is something expressed only in private. In The Samoan Conundrum Shankman cites Robert Maxwell, Joseph Theroux, and Bradd Shore, discussing the nature of discussion around sex (1983:8). Maxwell and Theroux both point out that discussion of this sort is only allowed within certain company. Sex becomes a topic of conversation only when men of similar rank are gathered. Such talk would be highly inappropriate around women and men of higher rank (like a chief). Shore, however, says that most conversation is tempered by a certain set of expectations around relationships and sex; that, as Calkins also recalls, practiced norms are different than those openly discussed. It is suggested that the nature of this distinction, between private and public conversation, could explain the outspoken disapproval of Mead's book in Samoa: to Samoans, Mead took what was supposed to remain in the private sphere and published it into the public one.

Based on this evidence, it could be argued that Samoa might seem to lean towards restriction of sexuality; or perhaps more accurately, that Samoan public practice is restrictive, but private practice is much less so. Because it seems that much of what happens in private is socially expected, and in some situations discussed with others. There is a distinct dichotomy here, but the evidence given leads to the conclusion that Samoa, in this area, is still sexually permissive.

Virginity and Monogamy Varying societies place a specific emphasis or importance on female virginity. Often, virginity is equated to purity, and this purity is something to be sought. However, the degree to which this purity is idealized and enforced can vary between cultures. While this may seem to fall within the pretext of the first criteria laid out in this paper, virginity or pre-marital chastity is often a cultural institution of its own in which it means much more than simply a lack of sexual experience and knowledge. Indicative of a more restrictive society would be an emphasis on maintaining ideals of virginity and pre-marital chastity. Often virginity is closely linked to cultural values associated with monogamy. To remain a pure virgin until the night of your wedding may show a high level of commitment; in cultures where this is highly valued, virginity may even be viewed as a precondition to a monogamous relationship. The questions to ask, then, are: To what degree is virginity valued? What are the expectations of youth when it comes to sexual encounters and participation in monogamous relationships? How are those who violate these norms punished or sanctioned? Monogamy itself, often the ideal from which the expectations of virginity originates, can be valued in different ways. A society leaning towards sexually restrictiveness would likely see monogamous relationships as the only type of legitimate

relationship and perhaps only to be officially recognized only after marriage. On the other end of the spectrum would be a culture which lacks concepts or strict norms associated with monogamy and lacks an emphasis on virginity. A culture such as this would likely have many instances of pre-marital teen sex, a lack of monogamous marriage institutions, and a relaxed attitude towards extra-marital relationships. First, it must be pointed out that Samoan culture and life has, like most cultures, undergone many changes over time. Both Coming of Age and Freeman's critique discuss the Samoan custom of taupou. The taupou was a title bestowed upon an important young virgin girl, a daughter of a chief. This girl was then expected to remain a virgin until after her ceremonial marriage, often in her later teen years or early twenties. While Mead and Freeman agreed on those basic points, they differed in their understanding of the significance of the taupou to the rest of society. Often this taupou's virginity was monitored by most of the village, and was rarely (if ever) allowed out of sight of a male relative, usually a brother. As Shankman points out (1996:665), Mead described the taupou, however, as an institution gradually losing significance in Samoan culture. While the taupou's chastity was crucial, it was not so for other women and girls of lower social rank. Shankman points out that Freeman agreed that, at least to some extent, the taupou standards were not followed as strictly for girls of a lesser rank (1996:564). In either case, it would seem clear that there is a difference of restrictiveness between ranks, and lower ranks are specifically bound to less restriction. Another point, made by Shankman, concerns the accounts of James Michener, who wrote about relationships that often occurred between American servicemen stationed in Samoa and local women (1996:561). Not infrequently, these relationships resulted in children born out of wedlock. These children were treated by the rest of the community as any other child, and the

mother was not seen by others as a deviant for being unmarried. Under this criteria then, it would seem that Samoan society, while sometimes split between a public practice and a contrasting private practice, has the characteristics of being more towards the sexually permissive end of the spectrum.

Reproduction and the purpose of sex While from a strictly biological standpoint, it is clear what sexual intercourse is intended for (the reproduction of the species), it is, as with many things, socially constructed, with varying meanings and purposes among different cultures. So how is sex seen, then? A sexually permissive society may view sex largely as a pleasurable activity, something that doesn't necessarily require a serious relationship or marriage. However, a more conservative culture could see such activities as offensive and would see sex as something to be confined to monogamous marital relationships, perhaps primarily for the purpose of producing children. Here is an area in which we can see a distinct difference between the public and private practices in Samoan society. The best example of this is in Fay Calkins's account of a Samoan girl who Calkins suspects of sneaking off in the night to see a boy. When Calkins questions the girl about this, she fiercely denies any such claim. Later, the girl becomes pregnant and runs off to informally elope with her boyfriend. Calkins is told that although elopements of this sort are against Christian custom, they are normal for Samoans (p. 45). This account would suggest that perhaps this public/private practice divide has much to do with the Christianization of Samoa; while Christian morality speaks of formal marriage and pre-marital chastity, traditional Samoan customs towards sexual permissiveness seem to persist, at the very least to some sort of degree.

Comparing Samoa to other cultures In Donald Marshall's article, Sexual Behavior on Mangaia, discussion relating to sexuality and associated social norms in Mangaian culture is given, describing a society with much in common with Samoa (109). Marshall notes the gender grouping of children and the strict brother/sister taboo. However, the link between marriage and sex is, at least in public discourse, thought of differently in Mangaia. Unlike in Samoa, sexual relationships are not associated or implicated with marriage; sex before marriage is not only acceptable, it is expected; this clearly indicates a more sexually open culture, if only on the public stage. While actual practice is often very similar between Mangaia and Samoa, it is the emphasis on monogamy which sets Samoa apart. It would seem that like in Samoa, what is considered appropriate for conversation differs depending on company; men and women alike, in their separate groups, share stories of sexual conquests and share crude jokes but never engage in such talk with or in the presence of each other. Another culture that could be used for comparison with Samoa is the Amazonian tribal society found in Brazil by the name of the Mehinaku. Here, Thomas Gregor conducts an anthropological evaluation of the cultures norms of sexual restrictiveness. In his work, Gregor notes the discrepancies between publicly acknowledged sexual practices and the reality of these relationships. Like other cultures, he argues that the Mehinaku have established a balance between cultural repression and personal liberty in the realm of sexuality. There is an institution Gregor refers to as the men's house, which consists of a strict separation between sexes. A violation of this separation and taboo for women is severely punished publicly, sometimes in the form of violent gang rape. This cultural practice can be indicative: It shows a distinct relationship between the two genders in which males are dominant and possess authority. While this would

be an indicator for restrictiveness, there is also a flip side. Gregor shares part of an interview he has with a married couple, in which the husband and wife both joke about infidelity, seemingly suggesting the lack of taboo surrounding such acts. This attitude could probably be extended to non-marital relationships suggesting that monogamy, while likely the norm, is not strictly enforced or expected. This interview also reveals another interesting similarity between Mehinaku and Samoan culture. While there are stringent norms in Menhinaku public society dictating gender interactions, these norms are, as illustrated by Gregor's interview with a married couple, sometimes bent or ignored. As with Samoa, there appears to be a duality between public and private spheres. John Messenger, in his study of sex in an Irish folk community, finds a culture very different than that of the Menhinaku, Mangaians or Samoans. Here, Messenger finds a society with deep religious convictions, ones that include prohibition against pre-marital sex and certain sexual acts which are considered deviant. Included in this is forms of deep kissing, anal and oral forms of intercourse, and homosexuality. Messenger goes on to mention the strict norms that dictate a separation between the sexes, both before and after marriage. There are also particular views of marriage and formalized monogamy. The members of this Irish community are typically coupled at the will of parents, who arrange these unions. Often weddings to not occur until mid-30s for men and mid-20s for women. This is, especially for the men, much later than the typical Samoan age of marriage. Post-marriage consummation is typically one's first experience, preceded by little or no previous education. Also important are the ideal surrounding the purpose of marriage, the function of which is primarily understood to be reproductive and economic. Local priests emphasize the importance for married couples to produce as many children as they can, which often leads to large families. Clearly, based on Messenger's accounts,

the Irish community of Inis Beag should be considered a sexually restrictive society, much more so than Samoa's, based largely on the strict expectations of men/women in Inis Beags and the recognized purpose of marriage and copulation. Finally, this paper will compare the degrees of sexual restriction within American society. Lilian Rubin's study of sexuality among US teens yields some interesting data, suggesting a culture perhaps nearly as permissive as Samoa's. Rubin talks to a number of teenaged American youth, finding details on common attitudes towards sex and monogamous relationships. Despite strong campaigning for teen celibacy from religious leadership, it seems that pre-marital sexual activity is the norm. Rubin makes the argument that pressure to remain a virgin in the public realm combines with pressure to engage in intercourse within relationships, often unintentionally resulting in many teens' participation in alternative forms of sexual interaction. Like Samoa, it seems that in American society there is also a sort of dichotomy between what's publicly seen as acceptable and what actually ends up happening most of the time, as suggested by Margaret Talbot, in Red Sex, Blue Sex. Here, evangelical teens are examined for their traditionally restrictive culture. Despite much emphasis on remaining chaste until marriage, it seems many evangelical teens engage in sex (in one form or another), and in many cases become unexpectedly pregnant. In a sense, it could be argued that American society is quite sexually permissive, regardless of what is formally understood as proper behavior and conduct. This is much like Mangaian and Samoan society, and much as they were proven to be sexually permissive societies (but not without some forms of restriction), American and evangelical society is much the same. When it boils down to it, sexual restrictiveness is a value that is difficult to evaluate objectively. In fact, much of this paper is evidence that consideration of restrictiveness versus

openness is often an exercise in relativity. Compared to the Irish folk village in Messenger's study, Samoa is certainly a nonrestrictive society. However, compared against the Mehinaku, Samoa could be judged as being somewhat more sexually confined. Whether Mead's Samoa is the same as Freeman's Samoa is another question all together, but perhaps keeping the arguments made here concerning sexual restrictiveness and its relativity, will help to create a different perspective. Perhaps in some sense both Freeman and Mead were right in their respective assessments of Samoa; that because of their differing personalities and cultures of origin (American versus Australian), and differing research methods, these different perspectives emerged.