Eng 102

Peer Review Analysis

Misplaced & Dangling Modifiers
Parallelism

Peer Review Read Sample Essay

According to the thesis statement, which classical argument principles
are analyzed in the essay? Explain.
Do all topic and concluding sentences align with thesis? Explain.
Is the hook effective? Explain.
Is the conclusion effective? Explain.
Is MLA format followed? Explain.

For your essay

Write one question for your peer to answer

Exchange essays
According to the thesis statement, which classical argument principles
are analyzed in the essay? Explain.
Do all topic and concluding sentences align with thesis? Explain.
Is the hook effective? Explain.
Does the introduction align with the conclusion? Explain.
Is MLA format followed? Explain.

 Reading a book, my cat crawled into my lap.

Misplaced & Dangling Modifiers

 The hunter crouched behind a tree waiting for a bear to come along
with a bow and arrow.

Misplaced & Dangling Modifiers

Misplaced & Dangling Modifiers

At the beginning of the novel, Tom Joad comes across a turtle on his
way home from spending four years in prison.

Misplaced & Dangling Modifiers

Modifiers are words that describe other words in a sentence
Modifiers should be near the words they modify
Linda saw the White House flying over Washington, D.C.
Flying over Washington, D.C., Linda saw the White House.
Trying to eat a hot dog, my bike swerved off the path.
While I was trying to eat a hot dog, my bike swerved off the path.

Put limiting modifiers in front of the words they

modify
Limiting modifiers = only, even, almost, nearly, just
These should appear in front of a verb only if they modify the verb
At first, I couldnt even touch my toes, much less grasp them.
If they limit the meaning of some other word in the sentence, they
should be placed in front of that word.
The cathedral almost took six centuries to complete.
The cathedral took almost six centuries to complete.

Put limiting modifiers in front of the words they

modify
Limiting modifiers = only, even, almost, nearly, just
These should appear in front of a verb only if they modify the verb
At first, I couldnt even touch my toes, much less grasp them.
If they limit the meaning of some other word in the sentence, they
should be placed in front of that word.
The cathedral almost took six centuries to complete. (modifies verb)
The cathedral took almost six centuries to complete. (modifies time)

Put limiting modifiers in front of the words they

modify
If you just interview chemistry majors, your picture of the student
bodys response to the new grading policies will be incomplete.
If you interview just chemistry majors, your picture of the student
bodys response to the new grading policies will be incomplete.
If you interview just chemistry majors, your picture of the student
bodys response to the new grading policies will be incomplete.

Place phrases and clauses so that readers can see at a

glance what they modify
The soccer player returned to the clinic where he had undergone
emergency surgery in 2004 in a limousine sent by Adidas.
He had surgery in a limousine???
Traveling in a limousine sent by Adidas, the soccer player returned to
the clinic where he had undergone emergency surgery in 2004

Place phrases and clauses so that readers can see at a

glance what they modify
There are many pictures of comedians who have performed at Gavins
on the walls.
The comedians are performing on the walls?
On the walls are many pictures of comedians who have performed at
Gavins.
The robber was described as a six-foot-tall man with a heavy mustache
weighing 170 pounds.
Thats a heavy mustache!!!
The robber was described as a 170-pound, six-foot-tall man with a
heavy mustache.

Place phrases and clauses so that readers can see at a

glance what they modify
A squinting modifier leads to ambiguity
The exchange students we met for coffee occasionally questioned us
about our latest slang.
Did they meet occasionally? Or did the questioning happen
occasionally?
The exchange students we occasionally met for coffee questioned us
about our latest slang.
The exchange students we met for coffee questioned us occasionally
about our latest slang.

Move awkwardly placed modifiers

A sentence should flow from subject to verb to object without lengthy
detours along with way
Hong Kong, after more than 150 years of British rule, was transferred
back to Chinese control in 1997.
After more than 150 years of British rule, Hong Kong was transferred
back to Chinese control in 1997.
After more than 150 years of British rule, Hong Kong was transferred
back to Chinese control in 1997.

Avoid awkward split infinitives

Infinitive = to plus base form of a verb (to think)
Split infinitive = modifier between to and verb (to carefully balance, to
completely understand)
When a long word or phrase appears between parts of the infinitive,
result is usually awkward
If possible, the patient should try to avoid going up and down stairs.
The patient should try to if possible avoid going up and down stairs.
If possible, the patient should try to avoid going up and down stairs.

Dangling Modifiers
Modifier fails to refer logically to any word in the sentence
Understanding the need to create checks and balances on power, the
Constitution divided the government into three branches.
The document understood the need for checks and balances?
Understanding the need to create checks and balances on power, the
framers of the Constitution divided the government into three
branches.

Exercise 12 1 pg. 130

1. The flood nearly displaced half of the citys residents, who packed into
several overcrowded shelters.
The flood displaced nearly half
2. Most lions at night hunt for medium-size prey, such as zebra.
Most lions hunt at night
3. Several recent studies have encouraged heart patients to more carefully
watch their cholesterol levels.
patients to watch their cholesterol levels more carefully.

Exercise 12 1 pg. 130

4. The gardens centerpiece is a huge sculpture that was carved by three
women called Walking in Place.
The gardens centerpiece is a huge sculpture called Walking in Place that
was carved by three women.
5. The old Marlboro ads depicted a man on a horse smoking a cigarette.
The old Marlboro ads depicted a man smoking a cigarette on a horse.

Exercise 12-2
1. While working as a ranger in Everglades National Park,
a Florida panther crossed the road in front of my truck
one night.
While I was working as a ranger in Everglades National
Park, a Florida panther crossed the road in front of my
truck one night.

Exercise 12-2
2. By following the new recycling procedure, the citys
landfill costs will be reduced significantly.
If residents follow the new recycling procedure, the citys
landfill costs will be reduced significantly.

Exercise 12-2
3. Serving as president of the missionary circle, one of
Sophias duties is to raise money for the church.
Serving as president of the missionary circle, Sophia is
responsible for raising money for the church.
4. After buying an album by Ali Farka Toure, the rich and
rolling rhythms of Malian music made more sense to
Silas.
After buying an album by Ali Farka Toure, Silas
understood the rich and rolling rhythms of Malian
music.

Exercise 12-2
5. Opening the window to let out a huge bumblebee, the
car swerved into an oncoming truck.
When the driver opened the window to let out a huge
bumblebee, the car swerved into an oncoming truck.

 Reading a book, my cat crawled into my lap.

How can this sentence be fixed?

While I was reading a book, my cat crawled into

my lap.

 The hunter crouched behind a tree waiting for a bear to come along
with a bow and arrow.

How can this sentence be fixed?

The hunter with a bow and arrow crouched behind a

tree waiting for a bear to come along in the woods.

How can this sentence be fixed?

At the beginning of the novel, Tom Joad comes across a turtle on his way
home from spending four years in prison.

At the beginning of the novel, Tom Joad, on his

way home from spending four years in prison,
comes across a turtle.

Where vs. When

April the first is known as All Fools Day ______ people play practical jokes
on each other.
The pound _____ Bella found me is in Kittanning.

Which Vs. That

Gems _____ sparkle often elicit forgiveness.
Diamonds, _____ are expensive, often elicit forgiveness.
There was an earthquake in China, _____ is bad.

Which Vs. That

Gems _____ sparkle often elicit forgiveness.

Restrictive ClauseThat
A restrictive clause is just part of a sentence that you can't get rid of
because it specifically restricts some other part of the sentence.
Here's an example: The words that sparkle restrict the kind of gems
you're talking about. Without them, the meaning of the sentence would
change. Without them, you'd be saying that all gems elicit forgiveness,
not just the gems that sparkle. (And note that you don't need commas
around the words that sparkle.)

Which Vs. That

Diamonds, _____ are expensive, often elicit forgiveness.

There was an earthquake in China, _____ is bad.

Nonrestrictive ClauseWhich
A nonrestrictive clause is something that can be left off without
changing the meaning of the sentence. You can think of a nonrestrictive
clause as simply additional information.
Explanation: Diamonds are always expensive, so leaving out the words
which are expensive doesn't change the meaning of the sentence. (Also
note that the phrase is surrounded by commas. Nonrestrictive clauses
are usually surrounded by, or preceded by, commas.)

On vs. About
On = placement
About = concerning, with regard to

I placed the pencil ___ the desk.

I attended a lecture ____ cell technology.
The author talks ____ politics.

Grammar Portfolio
Create and illustrate 5 misplaced or dangling modifiers.

Parallelism
Eng 102 BC

What is Parallelism?
Using the same pattern of words to show that two or more ideas
have the same importance
Patterns fall into four areas:

Words and phrases

Forms
Clauses
Lists

Parallelism Words & Phrases

Do not mix patterns with the ing form (gerund) of words:

The construction manager established a protocol that includes reviewing

plans every morning, asking questions at stated intervals, and the
summarization of work at the end of the day.
The construction manager established a protocol that includes reviewing
plans every morning, asking questions at stated intervals, and summarizing
work at the end of the day.

Parallelism Words & Phrases

Do not mix patterns of infinitive phrases.

A daily protocol was established to review plans, field questions, and

summarize work.
A daily protocol was established to review plans, to field questions, and to
summarize work.

Parallelism Words & Phrases

Balance parallel ideas presented as pairs

Eitheror
not onlybut also

neithernor
bothand whetheror

The clerk told me either to change my flight or take the

train.
The clerk told me either to change my flight or to take
the train.
Thomas Edison was not only a prolific inventor but also
was a successful entrepreneur.
Omit was

Parallelism Forms
Do not mix forms.

The production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately,
and in a detailed manner.
The production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately,
and thoroughly.

Parallelism Clauses
A parallel structure that begins with clauses must continue using clauses.

The coach told the players that they should get a lot of sleep, that they
should not eat too much, and to do some warm-up exercises before the
game.
The coach told the players that they should get a lot of sleep, that they
should not eat too much, and that they should do some warm-up exercises
before he game.

Parallelism Clauses
Repeat function words to clarify parallels
By, to, that, because
Our study revealed that left-handed students were more likely to have
trouble with classroom desks and rearranging desks for exam periods was
useful.
Our study revealed that left-handed students were more likely to have
trouble with classroom desks and that rearranging desks for exam periods
was useful.

Parallelism Lists
Be sure to keep al the elements in a list in the same form.

The dictionary can be used for these purposes: to find word meanings,
pronunciations, correct spellings, and looking up irregular verbs.
The dictionary can be used for these purposes: to find word meanings,
pronunciations, correct spellings, and irregular verbs.

Grammar Portfolio
Create a brochure about parallelism. Include an unbalanced example
of each parallel rule/category and its correction (there are 4).

No class Thursday 3/31

Must read pages 361-402 and post to the discussion board on
BlackBoard by 8AM Sunday.
For Tuesday
Analysis final copy due (remember to submit all writing process
stages)
Critique mulligans due
Read Chapter 5 about Synthesis Writing