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You have bought a mobile phone in a tax-free shop just a few days ago, and

it doesnt work properly.


Task: Write a letter to the manager to complain about it and ask him to solve
the problem.
You should write at least 150 words.
Sample Answer:
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the mobile phone I bought lately from
your outlet in London Heathrow Airports duty free zone.
On November 7, 2015, I arrived at the airport from Brazil. While wandering inside the
duty free shop, I decided to purchase the Samsung Galaxy S6 from your store. The very
next day of my purchase, I discovered the camera had stopped working. Moreover, I
found that the battery life of the device is low. I was really disappointed to find an
expensive gadget with one year warranty breaking down so early. However, I was almost
convinced to bother the little inconvenience, but regrettably it was just the beginning.
The day before yesterday the device was as dead as door nail.
It would be appreciated if you mend the phone at your earliest convenience. I hope you
would not insist me to take the matter further.
Sincerely yours,
Stephen Coombs.

Sample student answer without comments or corrections


Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with a mobile phone that I
purchased in your shop just a few days ago which was not functioning properly.
The first malfunction I noticed was mobile display which was not clear as much
as when i purchased. I discovered another problem when tried to make a call,
the network signal is not detected. When I compared with other mobile at the
same location, which shows the signal in full strength. In addition to,
sometimes the mobile is getting switched off automatically when i make a call.
Moreover, the mobile battery needs to be charged everyday for minimal use
also, but the manual says that requires charge two days once. I was surprised
to discover that much problems in a quite expensive model.
I insist that you replace the not functioning mobile and send me a new one.
Otherwise I will be forced to stop my payment to your shop. I believe this
matter deserves your urgent attention.
I look forward to hearing from your as soon as possible.
Yours faithfully,
Sam.
--------------------------

sample with some comments


Dear Sir or Madam,
I am one of the customers who recently purchased mobile phone from your shop, and I am writing to
complain about its defects.
For your information, I bought Samsung Galaxy S4 from your store on 23rd of June 2013, just four days ago.
However, I was very surprised to notice problems with the model of two years warranty and which I expect
was of very high quality. The first malfunction I notice was front camera that was slightly broken and was
unable to take pictures from that side. Secondly, the device automatically switched off every hour which I
believe is the factory defects.
I immediately contacted your shop to return the faulty handset, and talked with your shop manager
regarding this fault. However, he suggested me to have it repaired on my own. You can imagine how receiving
this offer disappoints me. I insist you to replace the faulty mobile, and send me the new one. Otherwise I
will be forced to stop my payments to your store.
This matter needs your urgent attention.
Yours faithfully,
Aditi Khatiwada

-------------------some comments
I am one of the customers who recently purchased mobile phone from your shop [Unnecessary], and I am writing to
complain about its defects.

suggested correction: I am writing to inform you about a problems in my recent purchase from your shop. Please
allow me to elaborate my situation.
For your information [Repeating meanings], I bought Samsung Galaxy S4 from your store on 23rd of June 2013, just
four days ago. However, I was very surprised to notice problems with the model of two years warranty and which I
expect was of very high quality. The first malfunction I notice was front camera that was slightly broken and was
unable to take pictures from that side. Secondly, the device automatically switched off every hour which I believe is
the factory defects. [Sentences need revision]
I immediately contacted your shop to return the faulty handset, and talked with your shop manager regarding this
fault. [Break sentence into simple. Sentence need revision] However, he suggested me to have it repaired on my own.
You can imagine how receiving this offer disappoints me. I insist you to replace the faulty mobile, and send me the
new one. Otherwise I will be forced to stop my payments to your store.

Sample with comments and corrections


Dear Sir,
I'm writing to you to express my dissatisfaction in product, that I've purchased in your store in London airport`s duty free
zone.
Last Sunday 08/11 I've returned back to Moscow from London. While waiting inside duty free zone I've decided to buy
MiMiMi Phone7 in your store. After two days of using my new phone I've realized, that the volume hardware button just
stopped working. I was very disappointed to see this latest expensive model with 2 years warranty breaking so soon. I
was almost ready to accept this little inconvenience, but unfortunately this fault was just a beginning. Three days later my
phone stopped to connect to wifi networks. You can imagine how these failures upset me.
The seller in your store assured me, that although store doesn't provide warranty to customers, I'll still be able to make
use of MiMiMi`s global warranty in my home town. Two days ago I've decided to contact local MiMiMi representatives,
but the manager in charge refused to repair the phone and informed me, that this particular model is not eligible for
global warranty terms.
I insist on urgent repairing of my phone, otherwise I'm going to write a complaint to your supervisor.
Yours faithfully,
Vladimir

-------------------Dear Sir/Madam,
comment: This is a standard address when you don't know whom you are writing to.
I'm writing to you to express my dissatisfaction with a product, that I've purchased in your store in London airport`s duty
free zone.
Last Sunday the 11th of August, I've returned back to Moscow from London. While waiting inside the duty free zone I've
decided to buy the MiMiMi Phone7 (awesome name! ha!) in your store. After two days of using my new phone I've
realized, that the volume hardware button just had stopped working. I was very disappointed to see this latest expensive
model with a 2-years warranty breaking down so soon. I was almost ready to accept this little inconvenience, but
unfortunately this fault was just the beginning. Three days later my phone stopped to connecting to wifi networks. You
can imagine how these failures upset me.
Comment: Here's a very simple explanantion for using present perfect: it's only for talking about the present. Because
you are telling a story in the past, you should use past simple (and past continuous and past perfect). You'll never give a
time reference for a present perfect action.
Stopped to connect means the phone finished one action, and then connected. Stopped connecting means the
connection is the finished action.
The seller in your store assured me, that although the store itself doesn't provide any warranty to customers, I'd still be
able to make use of MiMiMi's global warranty in my home town. Two days ago I've decided to contact the local MiMiMi
representatives, but the manager in charge refused to repair the phone and informed me, that this particular model is not
eligible for your global warranty terms.
I insist on the urgent repairing of my phone, otherwise I'm going to write a complaint to your supervisor will be obliged to
take the matter further.
Comment: The last line looks like a blunt threat. We threaten with much more discretion in formal English. :)
Yours sincerely, (I don't know why you should be faithful to people who are messing you around.)
Vladimir
comment: In general, this was pretty good. Just pay attention to the usual tricky things such as perfect tenses and
articles.

Another sample with comments and corrections


Dear Manager,
I am writing to express my feeling about the Mobile Phone that I bought from your tax-free shop, few days
ago. After few times problems started to appear.
The malfunction I noticed about hanging the mobile phone when I tried to make a call. I am very surprised to
see that much problem in a quite expensive model. Naturally, I returned the mobile phone to your store to be
replaced with the new one. Your assistant said that it will take time. After four weeks later, I contacted by your
store representative and I learned from him that I can't receive new mobile phone for the one that I bought.
I am very disappointed with the product and services that I received from your store and expect from you to
serious action against my complaint as soon as possible. Otherwise I will be forced to stop the payment to
your store.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
Mr. John

-------------------I am writing to express my feeling about report the breakdown of the Mobile Phone
--> This should be more like a complaint letter, so I don't think "express my feeling" is
really appropriate.
The malfunction I noticed about hanging the mobile phone when I tried to make a call.
--> This is an incomplete sentence: it doesn't have a verb. My suggestion to revise it: "I
noticed the malfunction when I tried to make a call." or change the order of this sentence to
read to clear and convincing - When I tried to make a call, I found it is not in order.
I am very surprised to see that much problem in a quite expensive model.
--> I was taken by surprise how such a new and expensive model could malfunction.
Naturally, I returned the mobile phone to your store to be replaced with the new one.
.... I think here you are going one step further. What your prompt actually asks you is that
to write a complain letter informing the manager about malfunctioning of the mobile phone.
I guess you should stop at that and should not extend the case to any more further steps.
After four weeks later, I contacted by your store representative
--> (use either "After" or "later" because they have the same meaning)
and expect from you to serious action against my complaint as soon as possible.
... and believe that you would give your serious attention to this complaint.