Life is Hard, But God is Good

I was with my son his entire life. Two minutes.

He entered the world of light and air at 8:20 p.m. on
November 22, 1991. And he departed, the doctor said, at
8:22.
It seemed a very short time. Too short. My wife, Susan,
and I never got to see him take his first steps. We
barely got to see him take his first breath.
So wrote Marshall Shelley of Christianity Today. He and
his wife, Susan, knew their son had all sorts of health
issues.
The physician told them, "We have some problems. The
fetus has a malformed heart the aorta is attached
incorrectly. There are missing portions of the
cerebellum. A club foot. A cleft palate and perhaps a
cleft lip. Possibly spina bifida. This is probably a
case of Trisomy 13 or Trisomy 18. In either case, it is
a condition incompatible with life...
"It's likely the fetus will spontaneously miscarry. If
the child is born, it will not survive long outside the
womb. You need to decide if you want to try to carry
this pregnancy to term."
In either case it is a condition incompatible with
life.
Life is hard, but God is good. Amen?
Todays sermon was inspired by a John Piper message. I
am using his title and the same passage he used,
Lamentations 3, but this is not his message. While the
author of Lamentations does not identify himself, many
believe it to be Jeremiah. He writes at a time when

Jerusalem has fallen, the temple has been destroyed and

the Babylonians are leading the Jews into exile, into
captivity.
The reason behind the exile is because of the sin of
the people. I tell you this because as we get into this
sermon, my point is not to say You are suffering
because you have sinned.
Rather, I do not want that part of what Israel did to
become a distraction in our examination of pain,
suffering and Gods goodness. So, as I read from
Lamentations 3, my focus is on the suffering and Gods
response to it, not the cause of it.
Turn to Lamentations 3 and follow along with me in vv.
13-18. I label this section: Life is Hard
13 He pierced my heart with arrows from his quiver.
14 I became the laughingstock of all my people; they
mock me in song all day long.
15 He has filled me with bitter herbs and sated me with
gall.
16 He has broken my teeth with gravel; he has trampled
me in the dust.
17 I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what
prosperity is.
18 So I say, "My splendor is gone and all that I had
hoped from the Lord."
The Parkview family has been dealing with a lot of pain
and suffering lately. Bob Jackson passed away Saturday
morning after a nearly weeklong fight for life. Don
Gaddis just went through a 7-hour, quadruple bypass
surgery where the physician said they did all that they
could do. The brother-in-law of Lana Vizzos daughter
died in a fatal crash in Holmes County more than a week
ago. Ann Shrivers daughter suffered a stroke. And that
is just a few I remember.

Brian spent a lot of time with the Jacksons this week

at the hospital, which is why he asked me if I could
fill in for him. Brian is such an awesome preacher that
it takes two people to replace him. Frank Yost will be
coming up near the end of the sermon to share some
insights, too.
With everything going on with our Parkview family, I
wanted to explore this idea of what C.S. Lewis called
the Problem of Pain and what others call the Problem of
Suffering. It boils down to this question: Why do bad
things happen to good people?
This is the biggest obstacle for some people to
overcome. It is the hardest question to answer. It
keeps many good people from embracing God and
Christianity.
Why does the drunk survive the wreck but the innocent
one does not? Why was one person healed of cancer and
your family member died of the same disease?
The question is not new, humans have struggled with it
ever since Adam and Eve were shown the door, so to
speak, after sin entered the world. Job struggled with
it. The Israelites living in the Northern Kingdom
struggled with it. The Jews living in the Promised Land
struggled with it. Jesus lived it.
This past week there has been a lot of tears and a lot
of prayers. Despite all of the pain and suffering, can
you agree with me that life is hard, but God is good?
That is our first point:

1. God is GOOD

How have you seen this in your life?

Follow along with me in vv. 19-27:

19 I remember my affliction and my wandering, the

bitterness and the gall.
20 I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within
me.
21 Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
22 Because of the Lord's great love we are not
consumed, for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning; great is your
faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore
I will wait for him."
25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to
the one who seeks him;
26 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the
Lord.
27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is
young.
As bleak as everything was, Jeremiah did not lose hope.
For Marshall and Susan Shelley, they did not lose hope.
Marshall wrote:
Summer turned to fall, and we were praying that our son
would be healed. And if a long life were not God's
intention for him, we prayed that he could at least
experience the breath of life. We longed see that
reminder of God's Spirit, the Pneuma, flow through him
like a gentle wind.
Even that request seemed in jeopardy as labor began
November 22. As the contractions got more severe, signs
of fetal distress caused the nurses to ask, Should we
try to deliver the baby alive?
Yes, if at all possible, short of surgery, Susan
replied.
They kept repositioning Susan and gave her oxygen, and
the fetal distress eased.

And then suddenly the baby was out. The doctor cut the
cord and gently placed him on Susan's chest. He was a
healthy pink, and we saw his chest rise and fall. The
breath of life. Thank you, God.
Then, almost immediately, he began to turn blue. We
stroked his face and whispered words of welcome, of
love, of farewell. And all too soon the doctor said,
He's gone.
There is no way to minimize the pain this couple felt,
but it did not shake their faith in God. It devastated
their emotions and their feelings of God as they
struggled to come to terms as to why did God create a
child to live two minutes? But, their faith remained.
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the
one who seeks him, Jeremiah said.
As I mentioned, Brian spent a lot of time with the
Jacksons this week. He is going to come up and talk
about some ways he and the family has seen that God is
good.

Brian
After the Shelleys lost their son, Marshall said to
his minister,
"It feels like eternity just intersected earth."
The pain of grief was diminished not at all, but it
blended with the weight of overwhelming wonder at the
irresistible movement from time to eternity.
"Do you have a name for the baby?" asked one of the
nurses.

"Toby," Susan said. "It's short for a biblical name,

Tobiah, which means 'God is good.' "
Life is hard, but God is Good. Life is hard, but God is
great.

2. God is GREAT
In what ways have you experienced this?
Jeremiah writes in vv. 31-33,
31 For men are not cast off by the Lord forever.
32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so
great is his unfailing love.
33 For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief
to the children of men.
For much of the first half of this chapter, Jeremiah
hardly mentions God. Some believe this to be Jeremiahs
personal lament he is writing what he feels, and he
feels God has abandoned his people. But, no matter how
dark times are, God will provide the light for our
path.
Jeremiah feels this, too, and knows it. God will not
cast off his people forever. Though we experience
grief, pain and suffering, God will show us compassion
because He is great and his love is unfailing. Because
of that unfailing love, he will never forsake us or
abandon us.
God does not willingly bring affliction or grief to us.
It is not Gods desire that we suffer.
How can I say this? Because God sent his son to come to
the earth, to live a sinless life and then be crucified
so that we could be saved.
Jesus came to seek and save that which was lost. He
came to serve rather than be served. He came to do the
will of his father.

What did that get him? The Bible tells us people

plotted to kill him. A friend sold him out for 30
pieces of silver. Another friend denied him. Yet
another doubted him. He was beaten, falsely charged. He
was mocked; spit upon; nailed to a cross; and left
hanging to die. Why? To serve as the last blood
sacrifice God would ever require. In other words, to
save us.
John writes in 1 John 2:2, (Jesus) himself is the
sacrifice that atones for our sins and not only our
sins but the sins of all the world.
Paul writes in Romans 3:23-25a, for all have sinned
and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and are
justified freely by his grace through the redemption
that came by Christ Jesus. 25 God presented him as a
sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.
God knows what it feels like to hurt. He watched his
son falsely convicted and crucified. He watched the
breath of life escape his body as the mystery of death
consumed it.
God allowed him who knew no sin to become sin on our
behalf so we could be saved from our sins and be
restored to a relationship with God.

3. Let us THANK Him

Can you say you do this in all circumstances?

C.S. Lewis said, The real problem is not why some
pious, humble, believing people suffer, but why some do
not.
He also said, I didnt go to religion to make me
happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If
you want a religion to make you feel really
comfortable, I certainly dont recommend Christianity.

Let Us Thank Him

37 Who can speak and have it happen if the Lord has not
decreed it?
38 Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that both
calamities and good things come?
40 Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us
return to the Lord.
41 Let us lift up our hearts and our hands to God in
heaven ...
55 I called on your name, O Lord, from the depths of
the pit.
56 You heard my plea: "Do not close your ears to my cry
for relief."
57 You came near when I called you, and you said, "Do
not fear."
Jeremiah might have felt abandoned by God, but he
realizes nothing happens without Him. If we have any
issues with God, Jeremiah is saying, Let us examine
our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.
Let us lift up our hearts and hands to God in heaven.
So, rather than blaming God for what happens, we need
to return to him. We need to give him thanks.
1 Pet. 4:12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the
painful trial you are suffering, as though something
strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice that you
participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you
may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

4. For our FOOD

Has God ever left you lacking?
God is good. God is great. Let us thank Him for our
food. He has provided for us. He has given us oxygen to
breathe, water to drink, meats, vegetables and fruit to
eat, he has given us His Spirit, His Word and His Son.

I am using food here to represent God taking care of

our needs. I would like Frank to come up and share some
thoughts.
Bobbys handled the scriptural part. Lets look at some
practical day-to-day (daily bread) ways of handling
grief and pain.
When it comes to being thankful for our food, its
difficult when were grieving. The hard part is eating
when your just. not. hungry.
Isn't it? You know you have to eat (because theres
always have someone telling you that when something
goes bad) but nothing is even remotely appealing.
But what if we're the person say "eat, EAT!"
We may not be helpful...
Sitting Shiva is a Jewish practice for being with a
grieving person. In the simplest terms, you sit,
quietly without speaking, and share the grief with the
person.
When in distress, such as grief, our brains may be in a
state where they're overwhelmed, overstimulated, or
just in a crisis state. Sitting quietly offers no
advice, no suggestions, no directions of "eat!"
IT PROVIDES WHAT THE PERSON NEEDS RATHER THAN WHAT WE
WANT FOR THEM.
So, how can we be food to those around us when
someone is hurting or grieving or simply needs a
sympathetic ear.
Lets look at what 3 Things NOT to Do first: (Adapted
from Christy Heitger-Ewing)

#1 I understand or I went through the exact same

thing
Maybe you did, maybe what you went through was close to
what happened, but people react differently to
stressful situations. Youre not THAT person. Your
circumstances may have been radically different in
subtle ways that you havent factored in.
#2 If theres anything I can do to help, just call
me.
Lets be honest, if this was said to us, how many of us
actually called that person? The person may not know
what they need. They are literally not in their right
mind. (Without going into boring detail about how a
brain in crisis shifts its thinking to another part of
the brain rather than the executive part of the brain).
#3 How bout them
Browns/Steelers/Buckeyes/Mountaineers?
No, just no
Seriously, dont do superficial conversation unless
they do superficial conversation. Follow their lead in
the conversation.
C.S. Lewis wrote:
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
Remember what I said earlier about the person not being
in the right part of their brain when they are grieving
or stressed? That fear feeling lives in the
Fight/Flight/Freeze part of your brain.
Let me finish the whole quote;
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am
not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The
same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness,
the yawning. I keep on swallowing.

At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or

concussed. (He was not in the right part of his brain)
There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world
and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or
perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so
uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me. I
dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they
would talk to one another and not to me.
Six Things TO Do (Adapted from Megan Divine)
#1 Grief/pain belongs to the griever.
You have a supporting role, not the central role, in
your friends grief. Grief and pain are very personal
experiences, and belongs entirely to the person
experiencing it. You may believe you would do things
differently if it had happened to you. We hope you do
not get the chance to find out.
#2 Stay present and state the truth.
Its tempting to make statements about the past or the
future when your friends present life holds so much
pain. You cannot know what the future will be, for
yourself or your friend it may or may not be better
later. That your friends life was good in the past
is not a fair trade for the pain of now. Stay present
with your friend, even when the present is full of
pain. Stick with the truth: this hurts. I love you. Im
here.
#3 Do not try to fix the unfixable.
Your friends loss cannot be fixed or repaired or
solved. The pain itself cannot be made better. Stay
present and states the truth (#2). Do not say anything
that tries to fix the unfixable, and you will do just
fine.
#4 Be willing to witness searing, unbearable pain.
To be a witness while trying to not be a fixer is very
hard.

#5 This is NOT about you.

Being with someone in pain is not easy. You will have
things come up stresses, questions, anger, fear,
guilt. Your feelings will likely be hurt. You may feel
ignored and unappreciated. Your friend cannot show up
for their part of the relationship very well. Please
dont take it personally, and please dont take it out
on them. Please find your own people to lean on at this
time its important that you be supported while you
support your friend. When in doubt, refer to #1.
#6 Love.
Above all, show your love. Show up. Say something. Be
silent. Do something. Be willing to stand beside the
gaping hole that has opened in your friends life,
without flinching or turning away. Be willing to not
have any answers. Listen. Be there. Be present. Be a
friend. Be love. Love is the thing that lasts.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
(I know this is the wedding verse, but it works in
all areas of life really)
Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it
does not brag, it is not puffed up, it does not behave
inappropriately, it does not seek its own way, it is
not provoked, it keeps no account of wrong, it does not
rejoice over injustice but rejoices in the truth; it
bears all things, it believes all things, it hopes all
things, it endures all things. Love never fails
as for being thankful for our food
and give us this day, our daily bread
*PRAYER ending with God is great, God is good and we
thank Him for our food. Amen
(Not sure if Bobbys saying this)

Lamentations 3:56-58
You heard my plea: Do not close your ears to my cry
for relief.
57
You came near when I called you, and you said, Do
not fear.
58
You, Lord, took up my case; you redeemed my life.
56

Conclusion
Paul said in Rom. 8:18, I consider that our present
sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that
will be revealed in us.
Even in tough times, we have plenty to be thankful for.
We can get mad at God when tragedy befalls us, but in
your grief and in your anger, you should know God
experienced firsthand what its like to lose a loved
one.
Maybe youll argue, Well, that is fine for God, He
raised his son from the dead and brought him back to
life.
And, he will do the same for us, if we let him.
Marshall and Susan Shelley had an older daughter,
Mandy, who had developmental disabilities. She died
soon after Toby.
Not long after we buried Toby and Mandy, our sevenyear-old daughter, Stacey, told us she heard God's
voice in the middle of the night telling her that
Mandy and Toby are very busy. They are building our
house, and they are guarding his throne."
The Shelleys didnt know what to think. The family
started looking into heaven more, and what God revealed
through His Word to them is that heaven is a place of
activity, a place of work. They envisioned how each of

their children would play an important role in serving

Christ and others in heaven.
Marshall continued, I realized that my earlier
question had been answered.
Why did God create a child to live two minutes?
He didn't.
He didn't create Toby to live two minutes or Mandy to
live two years. He didn't create me to live 40 years
(or whatever number he may choose to extend my days in
this world).
God created Toby for eternity. He created each of us
for eternity, where we may be surprised to find our
true calling, which always seemed just out of reach
here on earth.