Académique Documents
Professionnel Documents
Culture Documents
The City of Wit will be inhabited by a half dozen players. All of whom will be talking in
what looks like Asian script of some kind but is actually hyper stylized English.
After your eyes adjust, you’ll realize that the player character names are the names of
people you know in your everyday life. Most will ignore you, but occasionally they’ll give
you quests or challenge you to a duel. The quests are simple. Kill five dragon hatchlings
and we’ll give you a gold ingot. That kind of thing.
Whatever you do, never accept a challenge to duel and always do the quests. Names
aren’t the only thing that crosses over between the game and reality.
We miss you down at the coven. Matt said you wanted me to write up the mirror thing.
Ingredients:
Grind the ingredients together in a stone bowl until they form a fine powder. pour the
powder on the mirror you want to close and light it with a wooden match. The mixture
closes about half a square foot of mirror. You'll have to use more for larger surfaces.
Matt said you wanted to know if it only works in Calgary. I don't know if it's the city itself,
or just the elevation. Sorry.
- Jess P.
When you step inside the shack, you will find that it is empty other than a small boy who
hanged from the roof by a hastily tied noose. His clothing will not be contemporary,
rather it will be aged and ragged to the point of anonymity, unlike the boy’s perfectly
preserved body. After a time, his eyes will open, and the rotted out sockets will stare into
your eyes. Do not blink, do not look away, do not even move. The room’s temperature
will grow more extreme during the hours-long moment you spend looking into those
holes.
From that moment on, you will not feel the temperature anymore. Any temperature at all.
Nor will you get burns, frostbite, heat stroke or hypothermia.
In order to gain admittance, you will have to wear traditional funeral attire: black and
subdued rather than anything flashy or informal. Bringing flowers is said to help. When
you’re admitted, whatever you do, do not sign the book or you will find that the exit is
barred for you. Instead, offer your condolences to the mourners, who seem to be a
collection of people of all ages and races, most of whom are wearing old, worn suits or
patched dresses.
The funeral repeats itself every night at eight. If you come at any other time, you will be
required to wait in the main hall while the staff prepare. During the ceremony itself, never
volunteer to speak and never view the body. Both would draw too much of the
deceased’s attention. Instead listen with rapt attention to the eulogy, as it is a valued
component of the secret history. Leave before the funeral is done, and just like in those
old Greek stories: never eat anything anyone offers you.
Instead of opening onto the next highest floor, the elevator will open into a small cottage.
The door of the vacant cottage will open onto the beach. The beach is warm and
apparently temperate, shockingly beautiful at every hour, but blood and some sticky
black substance will colour the white sand in long streaks.
The beach is bordered on one side by an impossibly thick forest. Entering this will make
your life forfeit. At sunset and sunrise, a group of men dressed in the traditional clothing
of different religions (most prominently Ashkenazi Rabbis and Protestant Ministers) will
emerge from this forest and search the beach in silence, sifting through the sand as
penance for their lives of deception. These figures will be so taken with their work that
they will refuse to talk to you, only muttering “searching... searching... must keep
searching...” in their native tongue. Total darkness and proper sunlight burn these poor
souls, so they must return to the forest.
Otherwise, you will be alone on the beach. The water stretches impossibly far, as far as
the eye can see and further still. Wider and higher than the ocean, and far stiller, this
water will soothe you as you gaze upon it. But never let it lull you to sleep outside of the
cottage. The men in the forest may find what they're searching for within you.
The display, despite the fact that no one really knows how to get into the building since
the door’s apparently rusted shut, changes from day to day. A stuffed bear’s head might
show up on Monday and be gone on Friday, replaced with a large antique samovar. The
floor beneath this merchandise is covered with newspapers written in a language that no
human being has ever spoken or read, and the pictures... well, let’s just say you’d be
amazed what you can fit in a samovar.
The Yellow Room (#9)
There is a wall in the basement of the restaurant called Teatro that is, despite all
attempts to paint it another shade, a sickly shade of yellow. The owner conceals the wall
by putting a mirror and a couch up against it. However, if you remove both the couch and
the mirror, you'll discover the wall's pale yellow tone. This is of no consequence, however,
if you have come unequipped. In order to make use of phenomena #9, you will need a
small jar of hazelnut oil.
Paint the outline of a door on the wall using the oil, and then push. The door you've drawn
will open inward into a room with walls made from stucco that's been painted the same
sickly yellow as the wall you passed through. The room appears to be a spartanly
furnished study with furniture that puts you in mind of the South Sea Islands. On the desk
you will find numerous papers written on the letterhead of the Dominion Bank, dated
1912. The papers predict every financial crash worldwide from 1912 until twenty years
from now, when the predictions abruptly stop mid sentence.
As before, the store will be furnished and appointed as though it were the late seventies,
but the decades between then and now will now be visible. Everything is aged and
cracked, as if it had been left to the elements. Most shocking of all, the bottles of hair
product and comb sanitizer have been replaced with row on row of murky jars containing
vague, fleshy shapes. One of the stylists will remain, and she will offer you a shave and a
haircut. Refuse the shave, lest you be left faceless.
Instead, ask the stylist to pick something that suits you and sit in one of the chairs. She
will cut off your face with a straight razor, but the process will be strangely bloodless and
you will feel nothing. Your vision will fade to black for a time, and when it returns one of
the faces from the jars will have been seamlessly transplanted. Your features will, in
every respect, be identical to whoever the face belonged to before the stylist stole it, and
over time your body will change to resemble theirs as well. If you must vanish, this is how
you do it. But be warned that you can never get your face back, and the friends and
enemies of the face’s owner will mistake you for them forever.
Break the skylight with a piece of debris and jump down. The room should be small and
empty other than a metal desk and chair that have a distinctly institutional flavour. On
the desk, you will find a folder full of papers. Take the folder rather than reading the
papers on the spot. Breaking the skylight will have set off the alarm. Open the room’s
only door and step out. You will find yourself in your old highschool, having just stepped
out of the locker room. Leave.
The folder contains documents and photos that describe, in great detail, your physical
and mental health. They depict you as a patient in an institution, and they aren’t far off.
Four of these buildings are part of the city's actual water treatment system. They contain
pumps that push the city's water through thin grilles made from human bone. The
calcium from these bone filters is why Calgary's water is so often hard. The filters clean
the water not only of contaminants, but of the city's collective sin for its involvement in
the oil industry. The other two are shacks that contain taps. One of these buildings is
where the filters are installed when they're full. The water from the tap passes through all
of the filters and emerges brackish and foul. Drinking it, however, is the only way to
permanently purify the city's soul. The other building contains a tap that dispenses water
so pure that any scars, mutations, cancers or birth defects will vanish.
So you’re getting married? fudge, I know you call it hand-fastening, but that’s fiddlesticks.
It’s a wedding, even if you’re not wearing white. Matt says you should try this place on
fourth southwest. The selection is shizzle and the staff is snotty, but they get all kinds of
imported shizzle. Real weird Asian ju-ju, and we all know that that’s more important than
how you look in some photos you’re never going to look at again in your life, right?
The secret is smell. Smell is really key for this kind of thing. If you haven’t learned it
already, you’ll learn it soon. Smell tells you what kind of shizzle has been worked over on
what you’re about to wear. Avoid anything herbal. I know you dykes are wild about herbs
and poultices and spices and all that shizzle, but that’s just window dressing. No real
powerful stuff is unrefined like that, especially the Asian imports. What you have in that
scenario is some factory worker who’s trying to pull a fast one by rubbing the thread with
ginseng or something.
If I were you, I’d pick something that smells like fish. Fish means Dagon, God of
Agriculture (which means prosperity) for the Canaanites and happiness for the Buddhists.
Sure, it stinks, but I’ve smelled that vegan shizzle you people eat. You have no room to
complain.
Entering this vacant apartment proves difficult because of its movement, but it can easily
be spotted with patience. A bleached wooden door with a broken lock will appear in
appear from time to time in almost any basement or closet in any downtown building.
When you pass through the door you will find yourself in a Spartan, unfurnished space.
Every room, in fact, every wall seems to come from a different building or decade.
The room is safe and warm, a haven that appears when you need it most. The walls, floor
and ceiling are splattered with perpetually warm, wet blood, and occasionally other signs
of violence can be found. Never try to break into the unfurnished apartment, never try to
move in permanently and never ever fall asleep.
If you’re ill, however, he’ll tell you it will clear up on its own by the end of the week. It will,
as will any chronic pain or other long-term conditions. From that day on, no other doctor
in the city will be willing to see you or even make eye contact.
Instead, simply browse for a time. If you are as well versed in the secret history as you
should be by now, objects of interest and historical significance (although no real power)
will catch your eye. Many of them are belongings of other phenomena, including empty
jars that used to house the tobacconist’s preparations and a headset identical to the one
in Viscount Bennett. Do not take any of these, or their original owners will return to
collect them.
The Thrift Store is a safe location to dispose of any refuse you collect over the course of
your journey, but be warned that you can only dispose of small objects, and never
anything truly dangerous to anything other than kayfabe.
The Photographs (#22)
It is possible, although only by sheer luck, to come into possession of a set of
photographs that depict your future. Travel to any one hour photo developer in the city
and give the clerk a blank roll of Kodak film to develop. In the next hour, use an empty
camera to take as many photographs of yourself or your home as possible. When you
return to the store, the clerk will either chastise you for handing over the empty film and
wasting his time or, ashen-faced, hand you a set of photographs.
The cause of the clerk’s discomfort will soon become clear: At least half of the
photographs will depict you as you will look after your death, decomposing in whatever
pose you were in when you snapped the corresponding shot. The others will show how
you age, including clothing, scars, piercing and other artificial markings. The background
will be wherever you shot the pictures with your empty camera, but in each shot the
background will appear to be rendered with a slightly more antiquated photo process,
working back from crystal clarity to sepia.
Never watch this channel anywhere secure or safe, as it offers another avenue of entry.
Watch the channel until the scene cuts away from the two men and into a series of
grotesque clips no longer than three seconds in length. These are not all original. Records
kept by Eddie Decae indicate that at least sixty of the hundred and forty three clips are
sampled from various films and snuff tapes. The surreal and visceral imagery will burn
itself into your brain indelibly, but you will find in the morning that with it has come a
master’s knowledge of the fine art of mutilation and torture.
This must be used sparingly, for the knowledge has brought with it a great pleasure at its
exercise. You will, however, always be able to recognize Their handiwork, even if you will
find yourself admiring it.
While the rest of Bowness is mostly made of old working class homes, this street is home
to some of the largest, nicest houses in the city. All of them are at least thirty years old,
and none of them are cookie-cutter McMansions. The street itself is rural, with old
fashioned wooden power lines and lots of trees. It's like something Norman Rockwell
would have painted. But don't let your guard down for a second.
At the end of the street you'll discover a cul de sac made up of slightly newer, cheaper
houses. Until early last year, at any one time one of the houses would be uninhabited
other than the dead body of a student from nearby Bowness High in the garage and a trio
of silent, shell-shocked looking men. The bodies were sacrifices to the men, who are the
ghosts of the soldiers who were given lots on the street by the government after the First
World War. Until the sacrifices were disrupted by the CVS they ensured the city's
prosperity and the street's seclusion.
Getting into the red room is easy. At least it seems so on the surface. There’s a door at
the back of the shop with a bead curtain in front of it. The door is always locked though
and the red room won’t be there if you break in. The key is to walk into the store every
day for a week and ask for an array out outlandish products. Vinyl nighties,
cardboard stocking and high heeled shoes full of salt have all been amongst the list of
code words. Eventually you’ll hit upon the correct code word and the clerk will admit you
to the red room.
There is no space in the building for the red room. The place where it is should be taken
up by the kitchen of the Italian restaurant next door. The red room is a small strip club,
with only a half dozen seats inside and the brightest, shiniest red paint. For the most part,
the shows are very said and conventional, but be sure not to attend on any night which
belongs to a martyred saint. If you do, you’ll find out the red room: The walls aren’t red.
It’s what they’re covered in.
If you walk down this alley in the winter, you'll smell rotting meat coming from a
dumpster and hear sounds emanating from it that sound like rats. But if you look inside
the dumpster, you'll find that it's empty other than a plain tin bread box. The bread box
will, despite being of a kind not manufactured for decades, be in mint condition.
If you open the box, which you should never do under any circumstances, you will
discover that it contains your own severed head. Your head will tell you two secrets and a
lie,
The owner will never have seen it before and will allow you to walk off with it for a
pittance. The record’s title will be faded with age. Nothing but the vaguest suggestion of
letters and the tattered scraps of album art will remain. Take the album home and place
it on a turntable. The normal speed will be too fast, so instead turn it slowly by hand.
The first two rotations will yield nothing other than a cacophony of screams. However,
subsequent rotations will reveal nonsensical sentence fragments comprised of
disconnected words. To decipher the statements, cut out a circle of paper the same size
as the record and cut it into a spiral. Write the words you heard down on the circle,
moving inward from the outermost edge. Then place the spiral atop the record. Read
from the inside out. Each column of words names a location and date.
Each date is the day after a rainfall in the year to come. At each of these locations and
times, you will find an envelope with a sentence of your obituary in it.
Take the diskette and leave. Take it home, and on the way make eye contact with no one.
When you arrive home, put the diskette into your computer. The disk contains an
impossible number of jpeg files. All the famous socks and screams, memetic traps like the
parrot or smile.jpg, and all in a vast and perfect resolution. The images can kill or impart
madness with a look alone, so never open them on your own. Instead, use them as tools.
Weapons. Traps. With practice, they will form the greatest part of your arsenal.
The eastern wall is the most important, as it contains the history, travel and biography
sections. Everything you learned in school is a lie, and the basement is where they keep
the truth.
Walk around the upper area of the store until five minutes before closing, and then
descend the rickety steps at the back. The stairs lead into the basement, where the
owner keeps the more valuable albums and paraphernalia under lock and key. Across the
hallway from this room is another, with a selection of... lesser works. Failed novelty
albums, family bands that never caught on. And in the corner of this room, on the floor, is
the box.
The box is full to the brim with old LPs. The album art for all of the albums is minimalist:
just a human face on a black background. After leafing through this box for a time, it’s
likely you’ll find a few faces you recognize. You might even find your own. The owner
won’t allow you to purchase any of these records, claiming that he’s merely holding onto
them for a friend. But if you remain in the store after hours, he’ll allow you to put one of
the records on one of his players and listen with a headset.
You will hear, with crystal clarity, the thoughts of whoever’s face is on the record at the
moment while you’re listening.
After drinking the broth, leave the soup kitchen and walk down the alley next to it. After a
moment’s searching, you should locate a milk crate that should give you enough of a
boost to reach the fire escape on the building that houses the soup kitchen. Climb the
ladder and then walk to the top of the fire escape. Regardless of the weather, the top
floor window will be open. Climb inside, but leave behind anything that might be
construed as a weapon. The volunteers are jumpy.
The top floor will be a recreation, almost down to the last detail, of the soup kitchen itself.
The most important differences will be that the volunteers behind the counter have their
mouths stitched shut and that the patrons are noticeably better dressed than the
homeless and impoverished on the ground floor. The soup they ladle out here is a broth
made from the tears of a captive angel lashed to the wall in the building’s basement
seventy years ago over the protestations of William Aberhart. Drinking it will grant you
youth until the end of your days, but the gates of heaven will forever be closed to you.
Walk up and down the building’s staircases until the lights begin to dim and colour begins
to drain from your field of view. After the colour has completely drained, exit the
staircase. You’ll find yourself in one of the other libraries, in one of the other cities. The
books will be altered, some subtly and others more overtly, and all will contain secrets
that have slipped in around the edges.
Beware the librarians, however. They prize silence, and they punish overdue books with a
staggering ferocity.
A hope chest is a small box or trunk given to young girls. The idea is that over the course
of their lives, they collect linens, baby things, crockery and pieces of household decor to
take with them when they get married. It’s sort of a poor man’s dowry. I remember when
my sister got hers... but I’m wandering. You want to know about the Hope Chest in the old
house on the hill, up by the river, but you’re too shy to ask me. Don’t want to be on the
hook for another favour? That’s okay, boy, I like you.
The hope chest measures about sixteen inches by twenty four inches by twelve inches
and is made from cedar, as was the custom at the time. The order was for an art deco
chest, this was the twenties you understand, before the house was even built. The order
was furnished promptly, and I added to the chest all the objects that the customer
ordered.
Bottles of unguents, potent herbs and... allspice. He requested that it be sewn into the
cloth lining, which I of course indulged. I had no idea of knowing who They were at the
time. We thought they were just postwar immigrants.
Insofar as I know he never opened the hope chest. It’s a sort of a safety, you see. The
second it opens, everything inside is let out and, well, after this many decades of
fermentation... well, you know what they say about mutually assured destruction? I’m
pretty sure that They could show them a thing or two about assured destruction.
Kitsch (#49)
On Edmonton Trail there is a diner of the type that was trendy about ten years ago. You
know, the kind that puts muesli in everything and has a DVD of old cartoons running on a
wood paneled television. The walls, like all diners of this type, are practically dripping
with kitsch. Mostly fifties and sixties stuff, although there are some old Lohengrin post
cards and the like. What makes this diner unique is that every single piece of kitsch inside
was used, in some way, to kill someone. There is not a single object in that room which
has not been, in some way, used for an act of violence.
The post cards were love letters left out to inflame the rage of a jealous spouse. The
broken clock above the counter was used to brain a sewage worker in the late seventies.
Even the decorative infomercial knife set was once used in the torture, murder and
mutilation of a local gang member. What's more, if these objects are placed atop the DVD
player hooked up to the TV near the entrance, the picture on the changes to the murder
through the eyes of the victim.
This has made the diner popular amongst local Satanists and snuff fetishists who view the
murders after hours. However, the diner ran through its stock of deadly kitsch last
summer, and has since taken to commissioning new killings to decorate the walls.
building. If you ask him how he’s stayed the same so long he’ll tell you that it’s force of
habit and refuse to talk about it any further. If you ask him why they let him sleep inside,
he’ll claim that he works there in some function and likely tell you to mind your own
business. If you want a straight answer, you’ll have to ask him:
“Why does the drive in run through so many staff?”
But be careful. It’s never wise for the fly to harass the spider.
While the main door into the locked ward is secure and hasn’t opened since the facility
did, it is possible to get in through a janitorial closet nearby. A set of coveralls hangs on
the wall opposite the door. If you unzip the coveralls, you will discover a hole behind them
that leads into the locked ward. Be warned though: the coveralls cannot be unzipped
from the other side. To this day, no one has returned with a satisfactory answer. In fact,
all anyone ever agrees about is that the locked ward is very dark, and very hot.
Locating the pen is difficult, as it moves almost of its own accord, but you can easily
locate it by sympathy. Break open a pen of the same colour and rub the ink on your
palms. When the pen draws near, you’ll feel your skin begin to tingle, and whoever owns
the pen at the moment will leave it in your hand at the slightest pretext. The unfortunate
side effect of this sympathy is that the pen’s honesty rubs off on you.
The only rule to observe when using the pen is to never engage in automatic writing,
sketching, or any other idle activity. Your hand will be compelled to reveal things your
mind ought to hide.
Reduce the flowers to a fine powder by first drying them and then grinding them down to
nothing with a mortar and pestle or blender. Store the resulting violet coloured powder in
a small leather bag (no other material is safe) and carry it on you. The wheels of
bureaucracy will turn smoothly for you. Forms will never be lost, more ID will never be
required, and nothing will have to be filled out in triplicate. However, the powder’s
odorlessness will eventually permeate your body, robbing you of your own scent and your
sense of smell.
Sanford: I went to use that new washroom downtown. The one that they did a story about
on the CBC. If this washroom is good enough to be on the news and they are spending
my tax dollars on it, i want to at least get some use out of it. Besides, I thought it would
make a good entry for my blog. I sat down on the shitter and started to get light headed.
When I woke up It was six hours later and I was in a Public Restroom in Riley Park. There
was a new scar on my stomach that I do not recognize.
You owe me for this, SJ. I went to the Washroom like you said and I definitely saw signs
that They were involved. Illusory concealment of blood, the smell of allspice, the signs are
unmistakable. I know you said you thought we should let it be, But I’m going to go back
tonight and try to burn it down.
– Jess P.
Relatives of Jessica Pearson are reeling today after the nineteen year old art student
vanished. Although police are making inquiries, they hold little hope that she’ll be found
alive.
[The word OGDEN is scrawled beneath the last entry in red sharpie]
The clerk will accept this pretext and let you into the kitchen, as though you were in fact
a recently laid off employee. The kitchen, which is shared by all the franchises in this
corner of the terminal, is dominated by a staircase that leads up into the blank roof.
Climb it, and keep climbing when you reach the ceiling. You will emerge in a vast and
empty copy of the baggage claims downstairs, inhabited only by still figures made of
plaster.
Pilfer what you find valuable or notable from the baggage that is kept here, but only take
with you what fits in your carry-on bag and what will pass safely through airport security.
Larger or more conspicuous objects, such as the still-whispering heads of saints or the
monitors that show the state of your soul will have to be left behind. Then leave, get on
your flight and lay low for a time in another city. They will soon find out what you’ve
done, and they’ll want their stolen property back.
The Pub remains solidly uninteresting for most of the day, but around closing
practitioners and acolytes begin to filter in. The owner remains in the back room,
unwilling or unable to mingle amongst his unusual patrons. In a show of deference, the
most recent owner replaced all of the steak-knives with black-handled alternatives. The
Pub is a meeting place and focal point of the local Community.
The Pub’s echoes remain a mystery despite its closeness to The Community. Despite
decades of patronage, no one is able to determine the cause of the echoes, or why
drowned bodies appear in the restrooms and kitchen after closing only to vanish in the
morning.
After around thirteen hours, water in the human body will begin to boil too, killing
whoever is in the home in short order as the water in their bodies boils off and their skin
is seared. After the vase has claimed a life, al the water immediately condenses as if it
had never evaporated.
To date, the vase has been used to assassinate sixteen prominent individuals, including
three members of parliament and five practitioners.
The cupboard is as old as the subdivision and was placed there by the developers. Inside,
you will find literally dozens of pieces of Depression glass. The glass, which mostly takes
the form of small decorative balls, should not be removed from the cupboard. Each ball
contains a small, fortune-cookie type strip of paper with the address of one of the houses
in the subdivision written on it in green ink.
Whenever a ball has been removed from the cupboard, the corresponding household has
suffered a death or some other tragedy within a year.
Ask the store owner for a sample of his private reserve and tell him which of the three
jars interests you. Jar One contains a potent hallucinogen that will permanently transport
you to the dream city below. All the usual routes will be closed to you, and your body will
remain catatonic in the back of the shop. Jar Two contains a thick, smooth cherry tobacco
that will burn out your lungs, your heart and leave you totally hollow. Jar three contains a
light, sweet substance that will leave you unconscious, and your dreams will be of a
pivotal event in the secret history.
Never return to the shop. The tobacconist will make enquiries and discover that you are
not, in fact, entitled to his smoke.
Find it and start a new game. Shoot the strangely shaped tiles and watch as their colours
flick from green to amber to green to amber. The game is goalless and aimless, what
matters is your score. As it continues to increase and the tiles continue to change colour,
you’ll start to feel light headed. No matter what you do, do not release the joystick until
you feel a hand tapping at your shoulder. Turn to look at the person behind you. You’ll
find no one there.
That night, however, the game will enter your dreams. There will be more colours,
however, all the primaries and secondaries, and the tiles grow in complexity and speed.
Eventually it will prove too much for your sleeping mind, and you will suffer a seizure
while asleep. When you recover, you will find yourself awake. Machines, from that day
forward, will do your bidding. Parking meters will lie for you, televisions and radios will
always turn on to the channel you need to hear, and lightbulbs in your home will never
burn out.
When carried in your pocket, the school ID card makes you appear to others as you did
when you were thirteen. Your clothing will resemble whatever you typically wore at the
time without being too specific to any year. Despite this, the card will be accepted as
acceptable proof of age as though it were a driver’s license with a date of birth eighteen
years to the day before the current date. Unfortunately, prolonged exposure to the card
makes its effects permanent.
The six other Calgarys, the shadows and reflections of our city, are as follows:
Old Calgary is the city of the past and is made of the buildings that have been
demolished and is navigated by all the roads that have been closed. The dead live here,
and they’re hungry for your warmth.
New Calgary is the city of the future, all the buildings we have yet to build and all the
people who have yet to be born in the city dwell here. The sky is dark, full of ominous
clouds. Treat it as a canary for predicting our own end.
Right Calgary is our city as it would be if it were perfect. The buses run on time, it’s
always sunny, and everyone smiles. Some say that our Calgary is just a shadow it casts,
but they’re wrong. The people there have too many teeth.
Left Calgary is our city as it would be if everything were wrong. The sprawl, the traffic the
crime and the violence are as they would be in our nightmares. It’s my theory that the
poor souls trapped here are doing penance for us.
Dream Calgary is where the city’s denizens go when they sleep. Anything is possible
here, but nothing is true or persistent. Those that dwell here forever are a sorry lot. This
is the safest reflection, but it still isn’t safe.
Mirror Calgary is where your reflection lives. If you find yourself here, run as hard and fast
as you can back to the proper city.
The Bus (#90)
Although they’re being phased out, the city still has a number of the old GMC busses, the
kind that you step up into. No matter how fully the city replaces them with the newer
shuttle-busses, at least one of the thirty year old busses will remain in service. It comes
intermittently and at odd hours, but it is possible to bring it to yourself using a simple
albeit highly modern rite.
Go to a bus stop and dial the Calgary transit automated number. Hit one and then punch
in the number of the stop you’re waiting at. Then punch the number seven repeatedly.
The system’s pre-recorded voice will grow more degraded and heavy with static with
each keystroke, eventually going silent entirely. The voice will eventually croak “Next Bus
in three minutes” and disconnect you. Within that window of time, no matter where you
are, the bus will arrive. The driver never asks for fare, although it is wise to pay
regardless.
The Bus will be empty other than a dozen or so plaster statues posed on the seats, unless
They are using it. If They are, disembark immediately. If not, sit near the front and watch
as the landscape outside grows blurry and abstract. Before long, you will feel tired. Allow
yourself to fall asleep. When you awaken, you will be sitting on a bench at Brentwood
Station. From now on, you will always have perfect luck when it comes to catching a bus
and no driver will expect you to pay your fare.
The easiest way in is through the elevator in Brentwood station. Smear the blood of the
sacrifice on the buttons and punch them in ascending order, including door open and
close buttons. When the elevator reaches the top of its admittedly short shaft, it will drop
suddenly. The elevator will lurch to a stop and the doors will open, admitting you,
unharmed, to the Black Room. The marble will have faded, becoming something more
angular and familiar: a somewhat antiquated washroom. The tub has clawed feet, an
attendant stands next to the lift door to offer you towels and the like, all in all it’s the
picture of luxury.
Step into the room and turn the water on in the tub. The water will be scented: Mint,
Allspice or Vanilla. The mint will totally refresh you, leaving you perfectly relaxed. Vanilla
with imbue your skin with a youthful glow for a week, after which your body will begin to
deform with the weight of your sins, as though they were a great burden hooked into
your skin. The Allspice will grind away all of your sins and cruelties, leaving you utterly
and totally forgiven.
Eddie and Matt said you were working on a little guidebook. Smart move. They’ve been
catching a lot of kiddies in their webs lately, and we need all the help we’ve got. I’d like, if
I could, to contribute. You ever hear of the orange room? Me neither. At least not until last
weekend. I met a guy at Back Lot. Kinda chubby, geeky technogoth. Y’know my type, I
like to fudge practitioners. Anyways, HE says we should go back to his place. So I say
“Ok”, playing it like I’m some rube, nevermind that I’ve practically moved into Dream and
that anyone who knows anything knows it.
So we drive to Dalhousie station and get onboard. When we hit the free fare zone, he
begins to count to a hundred, and when he gets to a hundred, he presses the help button
and holds it until we leave the free fare zone. The train keeps going, and it keeps going
after it reaches the last station, and it stops in this underground station that’s all orange
and British. He leads me upstairs, all giddy like he’s showing me the kind of thing I’ve
never seen before. Which isn’t true. But I pretend for his sake.
Anyways, The orange room is like this old place, Victorian I think. Everyone has an accent
and talks about how “The War” is going, which I THINK is world war one. Anyways, the
only guy in the room who knows what year it is is this little old man who recognizes me
and runs my ass out.
Dunno how useful it is, but I wouldn’t recommend going back. Place STUNK of allspice. I
bet that little happy face was a trap...
Nick Maharis.
Instead, punch in 4511. Instead of opening onto a washroom, the door will open onto a
small closet with no furnishings other than a cheap office chair, a folding card table, and a
terminal from the late seventies. The terminal’s screen will be blank other than the
phrase “What is your name?” Type your real name or, if you’re feeling adventurous, your
online nickname. There will be a lot of lag between the terminal and wherever it’s
connected to, but soon more words will appear, all of them questions. Answer them.
When the terminal’s owner is satisfied, it will turn itself off. For the rest of your life, every
piece of electronic equipment you try to use will just work out o the box with no difficulty,
but you’ll feel nauseous if you get too far from a wireless signal.
If you wander the area down around The Palliser you’ll eventually find the pit. Deeper
than deep, it’s supposed to house basements and sub-basements and a huge parkade for
the building that is being built on top. Sometime after midnight on any given day, climb
over the metal rented fencing and climb down into the pit, careful to avoid notice by
anyone or anything that might be there after hours.
In the center of the pit, you will find a blue tent. If the lights within the tent are white or
yellow, leave as it is most likely occupied. If the light, however, is a dull red glow, then it’s
safe. Enter the tent. Inside, you will discover the real reason for the pit: A pillar
suspended in the mud, seven feet of it jutting upwards, with glowing red veins. Unless
you have come prepared, all you can do is gaze at the strange stone and then leave.
But if you have brought with you human blood that is not your own, which can be
acquired through a number of means, you may smear it on your eyelids and close your
eyes. The glow of the pillar will penetrate your eyelids and you will see the tent through
them, etched on your retina in red. The veins will resolve themselves into words which
will describe in great detail the history of the land. Never read the full history, as you
must leave the tent before the blood on your eyelids dries.
The door leads into a small room made of bare concrete. To your immediate left is a
disused washroom. Don’t open it under any circumstances, as they haven’t cut the
bodies down
since 1995. Instead, turn right and look at the payphone. It’s old enough that it still has
metal keys and an AGT sticker. The handset has been separated from the phone itself,
but if you lift it to your ear, you’ll hear a dial tone. Put a quarter into the phone, then dial.
Never, under any circumstances, call a cell phone.
The phone will ring twice, and then you’ll hear whatever occurred in the room the phone
is currently in on the day and at the time you’re using the phone in the year the quarter
was minted. The only exception to this is if the quarter was minted in the year you were
born, in which case you hear whatever happens in that room during the moment of your
death.
Say “An egg for protein and a lemon for zest” aloud, then leave the room. When you
return to the store proper, the second layer of illusion will be lifted and you will see it as it
truly is: empty and desolate. The carcass, half-gnawed, of a failed seeker will be laying
behind the meat counter. He forgot to bring an offering. The blind spot is a defense
mechanism, this place is like a venus flytrap.
The shelves will be empty, save for empty boxes and bones, except for one. The herb
rack is the best stocked in the city. Exotics and inedible herbs and spices of all kinds, all
of them useful in the craft and many of them extinct, are all sitting in the rack in clearly
labelled flasks. Take one and leave. Do not look back and do not take more than one.
When your account is made, log in and add “Peigan” as a friend. Peigan will claim to be a
bot maintained by the city to help tourists, and will answer any questions about traffic,
weather, restaurants, theatre or any of the city’s attractions in with cheery, friendly text.
However, the more you talk with Peigan, the less cheery and friendly it will become. After
about two hours of conversation, Peigan will angry and will rudely insult whatever you ask
it about. After three hours, Peigan will begin to threaten whatever location, person,
institution or object you ask it about.
After about five hours, Peigan will sign off. The last thing you asked Peigan about will be
in some way destroyed within a month. It’s vitally important not to use your real name for
the AIM account, or Peigan will know who you are.
Enter the elevator that leads into the Max Bell Theatre and insert your key into the
elevator’s maintenance key-hole. Turn your key and punch all of the buttons in
descending order. The doors will open on every floor, but the rooms beyond will be subtly
wrong, and all inhabited by figures in strange papier mache masks that do nothing but
render their features blank. Finally, instead of reaching the parkade, the elevator will drop
you off in the lobby of the theatre.
The performance is ongoing, and is made up of two masked performers, both of whom
face the audience. In clear, rhetorical English, they recite their lines twenty four hours a
day, seven days a week, with no breaks or rest. The language of the play is convoluted
and wrong, as through translated from Russian by someone with a loose grip on English.
The words are almost meaningless, but they open a door in your mind. What they let in
depends on whether they’re performing a comedy or a tragedy, but from that day on
you’ll see the masks in crowds and never quite belong in this world.
There is one surgery that does this kind of work in Calgary. It is located in the furnace
room at Dalhousie Elementary and can only be found during the half moon as it relies on
shaky borderlines. Enter through the gym, and you will find an improvised waiting room
in the hallway. From the moment you sign your name to the walk in sheet, there is no
turning back. Your feet and hands will move of their own accord. You will walk into the
surgery, lock the door behind you, and go to work.
It’s likely that you will black out during the procedure. This is a mercy. Try not to mind the
gaps in your memory or the disappearance of one of the local children that will occur the
same night as your operation. There is such a thing as a necessary evil, and until stem-
cell research is opened to more fringe physicians, third eyes won’t grow themselves.
The baker’s shop does most of its business in the morning, selling lattes and pastries to
commuters driving into downtown from the south. By night, it is usually closed. But if you
look in through the window, you will see the baker sitting alone in a corner, drinking
coffee and eating something small and sweet and drizzled with red coulis. If he notices
you, he will get up and open the door and invite you in. This is your last chance to avoid
the trial ahead.
The baker will ask if you have eaten and snort derisively before asking if you know the
Epicerie next door. Say you don’t, and that you prefer something sweet. He’ll call you a
man after his own heart and over to share something special with you. You have no
choice but to accept, lest you wind up in the red coulis.
The baker will bring out a human heart, glazed with maple sugar, choked with cherry
juice and custard and surrounded in a flakey crust. Eat this grisly treat, choking down the
still warm, still half-alive organ, and you will be rewarded with an unearthly, haunting
beauty, but your damnation will be complete and thorough.
Anyways, a couple weeks ago he smiles at me when I come in and tells me he’s got
something special and he wants to share it with me. He says he’s got a couple ortolan
smuggled in from a farm up north that raises the damn things in secret. An ortolan is like
a finch or a bunting. But what the French do to them is just sick.
They keep them in the dark and force feed them oats and millet. Once they’re fudgeing
huge, they drown them in column-still brandy and leave them there until they cook them
whole. You put it in your mouth until only the beak is out and then you bite down and eat
it whole. Eyes, organs, all of it. The bones splinter and slash your gums and tongue, but
that’s part of it. It adds this salty, coppery taste.
Monsieur Boyer put my head under the tablecloth before he served me. He says it’s how
you do it, so you can hide from god. I couldn’t see anything, all I could do what feel him
push it into my mouth, taste it, and chew.
The next morning, I coughed up what looks like a human eye. Monsieur Boyer was gone
and nobody has seen him since.
The three are almost impossible to find by choice. They reside in a splinter. To find the
three, stand at tenth and fifth and slowly begin to walk south. As you move, the city will
seem to grow denser and tighter, the buildings higher and the people dirtier and older.
Eventually, the cars on the roads will give way to foot traffic and shanty-towns, and the
buildings will go dark and empty. Do not enter any of them, as the office workers inside
have been replaced by toothful predators.
Eventually you will find the three at the center of an intersection. Tell them you have
brought the ingredient to complete their labour and offer them either a jar of allspice or a
jar of air. If you offer the jar of allspice, they will give you a cup of soup spiced with it. You
will gain all the boons that They can give, but the three old men will turn on you once
they recognize the scent as They are no friends of the downtrodden. If you offer them the
empty jar, the blind old men will attempt to poor it into the soup and, i the process, fill it
at least a quarter full. The broth will cure all injuries but leave your skin tough and
leathery.
In the old man’s kitchen there are a half dozen boxes of index cards. Some document
people, vital statistics jotted down in a genial handwriting that belies the exacting and
invasive detail of the records. Others document formulas and complicated patterns that
signify nothing, even to the most advanced acolyte. Still others are benign. But one set of
index cards, kept under lock and key in the pantry, is more straightforward and more
immediately of value.
The cards were purchased from Eddie Decae when the couple first arrived on our shores.
They were so much older then. They have been adding to the collection ever since. If you
have had any success as a seeker or acolyte, you will certainly find your name there. If
any of the cards has a red dot in the upper right corner, or the name crossed out with ink
from a fountain pen, the person or place or thing it describes will be visited by the old
man... and then it simply won’t be anymore.
The shop specializes in the works of the homeless insane, with sheafs of scrawled
mythologies from across North America: The blue lady of Florida, Chicago’s gangster
computer gods, and Calgary’s They are described in intimate detail in the unreadable
ramblings. Decae sells these sheafs for a dollar a page, and it’s worth it if you have the
time to eke what meaning can be distilled from them. However, there is a shortcut to
knowledge.
Behind the counter, Decae keeps a bookshelf with over a hundred notebooks, diaries,
clipboards, little boxes of index cards and the like. All have been prepared by acolytes
and seekers and all describe the roadside horrors and urban attractions that we who
favour the night enjoy. Decae will let you have one of these, but for a price: You must
prepare one of your own. If you don’t, you will find yourself unable to read anything. The
words will swim before your eyes and sort themselves into paragraphs of the filthiest
invective.
Once you land, get up and walk straight ahead through the dusty gloom. Eventually you
will find a laptop computer sitting on top of a milk crate. The computer is on and its
battery is perpetually at full, although it isn’t plugged into anything. The screen doesn’t
display an operating system, instead showing a list of names that updates with a new
name about once every eight seconds. The foolish think that this is a list of who is dying,
with each name representing another death.
If you try to remove the computer, your name will appear and you will realize that they’re
wrong. The list is indeed of deaths, but it’s about five minutes behind.
If you steel yourself and manage to overcome the anxiety you will feel about sighting it,
wave the truck down. The man who drives it has dead eyes and will only accept money
minted before 1980. The truck’s menu will be illegible with age, but ask for a sour cherry
popsicle. The popsicle the man gives you will taste coppery and salty, but swallow every
last mouthful without complaining about the taste. The man will smile and ask you if you
want to ride along. Never accept his offer, no matter how tempted you feel.
From that day forward, to your eyes the night will seem as bright as the day, and people
will glow with the warmth of however many days of life remain for them. No one knows
what happens if you flag the man down again or accept his offer.
Climb to the top of the building and enter the cloakroom at the top of the staircase. It will
be empty at this hour other than a leather jacket too large to belong to the children. You
will hear the sound of a cellular phone’s ring from the moment you walk in the room, and
after a moment’s effort you will find it in the jacket’s pocket. The phone is an old Nokia.
Open it and hold it to your ear, but say nothing. Do not even breathe.
For as long as you can remain silent, the person on the other end of the line will tell you
everything you need to know to solve whatever problem you’re currently faced with.
But once you breathe or speak, she will stop mid-sentence and scream. The scream will
be deafening, and you will pass out quickly. Explaining your presence in the school at
night, in the cloakroom, will prove surprisingly easy. Claim you came back to reminisce.
The principal will ask if you were a student there once. Tell him you like to think you are
always a student. He’ll recognize you as an acolyte and allow you to leave, but from then
on you will owe him a great and grievous favour.
Attempting to borrow the disc will earn you a strange look, but no strong protestations.
Take the disc home and do not watch it until after dark. Put the disc into your player at
one in the morning and press play exactly ten second later. The screen will crackle to life
in media res, the action already unfolding by the time the camera comes on. The scene
depicts the murder of a man named Nick Maharis, gutted like a fish on the platform at
Sunnyside Station, his intestines spilling out onto the concrete. The camera is dropped
after he hits the ground, and the killers leave.
The camera remains focused n Maharis as he bleeds out, watching the slow progress of
his abdomen emptying onto the ground. Strangely, the pattern formed by his entrails
differs every time you watch. He will make eye contact with you at the moment he
expires. The disc is of no use to you unless you are skilled in haruspicy. If you are, you
can see reflected in his innards the current future of the war.
On Labour Day, the lot vanishes and is replaced by a small warehouse. Nobody notices
because there’s no way that a warehouse could go up that fast, is there? If you walk
inside of the building, you will discover that it is in fact made of all the paper that was on
the lot, which has been folded elegantly to resemble brick and sheet metal and concrete.
The building will be furnished like an old importer’s. Don’t put your weight on anything,
however, as every last object in the building is made from paper. There will be a display
case against one of the warehouse’s walls containing the only wares it has ever housed: a
dozen rings. One of them is real, the rest are made of paper. If you pick up the real one
on your first try, you’ll be permitted by the aged Japanese man who seems to own the
warehouse to take it with you. Never wear the ring, but instead give it to someone you
love. For the rest of their life, they’ll never fall ill.
If you get one of the paper rings, wear it. It will bring you good luck and success at the
office.
If you do down the entire drink, you’ll find a small key blank at the bottom of the mug.
Take it and leave. The blank will fit any lock in the city as if it were the appropriate key.
However, the door will not open into the room it normally does. Instead, the room will be
bloodstained and decayed, and a look out the window reveals a desolate apocalyptic
landscape.
However, some of these desolate rooms contain secrets and artefacts of the years to
come. Be warned though: if the door closes behind you, the key will turn to dust in your
hands.
After City Hall closes, the cube begins to warm up. Heat spreads across its surface, as if
something burning hot were within. When the cube is too hot to touch, it will begin to
whisper to you. Everything it whispers is a lie, but the whispers are so dense and so thick
that with enough patience you can begin to piece together the truth. However, should
you let yourself get lost in the lies, the whispering will never go away and it will slowly
drive you mad.
The Window (#125)
There is a small downtown gallery housed in an aging sandstone building, its details
weathered to nothing with age, that is almost entirely empty save for a handful of pop art
prints, a lost de Chirico, and The Window. The first is of no interest, the third is part of a
triptych which must never be completed, and the third is a simple window hung like a
painting on the back wall. The window always seems to have its share of admirers,
typically young students or other idiots.
The window appears to be painted on the other side, depicting a scene of suburban
carnage. Executed in perfect photorealism: A man with an axe standing on a bloodied
lawn, the neighbourhood children behind him, chopped to bits. The man is standing on
the lawn, mid-stride, approaching the window with a white picket fence behind him that is
stained with gore. Do not gaze at the painting too long, allowing yourself to get caught in
its brush strokes is a death sentence.
Instead, enter the gallery’s back room. There, you will discover the body of the owner,
decomposed and dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. On the wall behind him,
beneath the bloodstain, you will see photographs pinned to it of the window. In the first,
the painting depicts an empty lawn. It’s dated 10/5/01. Within a year, the children have
appeared. Within six months of that, so has the man. The last photo, dated the first of
this year, depicts the man approaching the window, although he’s still further away than
he is now.
While the core of the system is open from 7 AM until Midnight, The western and eastern
edges of the system are locked at 9 PM. If you are able to sneak into the closed systems
at midnight, you'll discover new walkways that don't exist during the daylight hours. If
you walk down these pathways, you'll eventually emerge in the Minneapolis Skyway.
The Minneapolis Skyway connects every skywalk system in the world. Be warned,
however, that if the skywalk you enter from it isn't in a city where the time is between
midnight and six AM, you may find that walkways you rely upon no longer exist.
There is a small Tea Room that dresses itself in faux Victorian style. Although all the
furniture is recent, a handful of the pictures on the walls are truly antiques. Go to the Tea
Room and order nothing but a cup of hot water. The elderly woman will stare at you as if
she knows something you don’t, but she’ll bring you the cup. The tea would only dull your
senses.
Examine the photographs and lithographs on the walls while you sip your water. Many of
them will have inky black shapes that occlude what is behind the glass. The more you
look, however, the more apparent it will become to that the blackness is moving from
frame to frame. When it all seems particularly focused on a particular photograph,
lithograph or vintage advertisement, get up and seize the framed picture. Take it from
the wall and leave without stopping.
Burry the frame deep, someplace far away from the city. Ignore the screaming. Return
home and make yourself a cup of tea to steady your nerves. For the remainder of the
week, until the darkness makes its way back, none of the corners in the city will be quite
as dark or foreboding.
Upon entering, ring the bell on the counter. An aged Asian woman and her mute husband
will emerge from the back of the building, even if you passed through the back of the
building while entering through the rear door and found no signs of life. The woman and
her husband will stare at you in silence. If you leave, you will be dead within an hour.
However, if you complain to the couple about the loss of an article of clothing, you will be
spared. Your complaint must he highly specific, such as “A pair of black jeans from Nom
de Guerre’s winter collection, size eight”
The couple will leave. Remain in the building for an hour, and they will return with
whatever clothing you complained about. It will be bloodstained, and they will helpfully
direct you to another cleaner who can remove any stain.
Never enter this room shortly after a friend or relative dies, or you may see their face on
one of the sliced-open bodies that the room’s small, Slavic inhabitants busy themselves
with slicing. This is where the city’s dead truly go. The familiar bodies in coffins are made
of wax in another room still deeper in the abattoir. You should not venture further than
this, however, or you will be mistaken for meat. Instead, try to find the once face in the
room whose lips are still moving.
The man, and it is always a man, will ask you for news from the front. Tell him that the
good guys lost. His face will break into a smile and he will allow himself to die. With his
last breath, he will bless you and yours. For the remainder of your life, good fortune will
follow you so long as you keep to a strict vegetarian diet.
The inside of the office is like a time capsule, furnished with thirty year old chairs and
bookcases in the style of the time. The walls have a vaguely yellow patina to them, but
this is of no significance. If you look at the degrees hanging on the walls or the books on
the shelves, you will discover that the office belonged to Earl Wiser, PhD in history. No
sign of Doctor Wiser remains, nor is he mentioned in any records kept by the university.
Judging by the books on his shelves, Doctor Wiser was an expert on the Second World
War.
The only thing in the room that will appear to be touched by time is the 1930’s typewriter
on the desk. You will notice that this typewriter is unique for two reasons: it has German
character keys, and it is typing the same narrative over and over again without any
human interference. The narrative tells the story of a German victory in the Second World
War and what happened after. If you take a closer look at the books on the shelves, you’ll
notice that the axis won in them too.
Hey Sandy,
I’m gonna head over to your place after class, but in case you’re not there, I need your
help with something: post cards. Ever since the equinox I’ve been getting these picture
postcards from another place. You know where.
I tried to send some scans but it all comes out garbled. The cards are a lot of old junk;
kitschy pictures of German villages or Hugo Boss army men. The back’s written in English
though. It’s this guy, a soldier I think, named Gregg. He’s writing home to this girl.
Pretty usual stuff, and only about forty years off, except everything’s a little bit wrong. All
the brands are stuff I’ve never heard of, and you know all that racist fiddlesticks that
disappeared because the companies changed their names? He mentions gassing
American partisans in a “coon chicken”, only the postcards are dated in the seventies
after all that shizzle disappeared.
Matt thinks someone’s “trying to send a message” about something. I dunno what
though. When he’s not talking about killing, Gregg gets pretty spicy. Sex and Death...
that’s basically what They’re all about, isn’t it?
Maybe I’ll read some of them to you later. If we can’t figure out what’s up, we can at least
have a good time...
- Jess P.
If you want to own one of the maps, you must reply “I’m lost, I’ll take anything right
now.” He’ll nod and ring one of them up. The roadmaps depict Calgary as it was in 1978,
with one major exception: it shows about a half dozen roads that you’ll never have heard
of. If you track one of these side-streets down and drive down it, you’ll find yourself in
one of the other Calgarys. The streets don’t seem bound to any one of our city’s
reflections in particular, although most often they lead to the city made from all the
buildings we’ve demolished.
Heritage Park (#151)
Heritage Park screams wrong to the psyche. It is a town that is not a town, built from the
remains of others. Buildings that should have passed into the city’s reflections remain
here, stuffed, their innards taxidermied and displayed. Perhaps this is why people report
ghosts and odd feelings. The place cries out to the mind. However, if you know the secret
of the place, you can turn this wrong to your advantage. Like an open sore, the world’s
immune system floods it. Steal something from the park, something that’s actually as old
as the place. A bit of brick from the wall of the Wainwright, a piece of antique crockery
from one of the houses, anything of sufficient age will do.
Never touch this with your bare hands. Instead, whatever it is, grind it down until it
becomes a fine powder or dust. Store this powder someplace warm and dry, and wait
until the day you need it. When you have the need to kill someone quietly and subtly,
dissolve the powder into water and ensure that they drink or bathe in the resulting gritty
mixture. Within a week, they will be dead of old age and be drawn into a reflection,
forever.
And you will have to kill subtly and quietly. If you cannot smile and murder while you
smile, your days are numbered.
Acquiring a bottle of the ink is difficult, and only once has it ever been accomplished.
Should the ink feel threatened, the art projects displayed in the room will come to life and
pull you back into them, trapping you for eternity within canvas or clay. To retrieve the
ink, come by night and come alone. Instead of breaking into the school, hide in a closet or
classroom until everyone has left. Then enter the art room. Approach the cabinet where
the supplies are kept slowly, and if you start to see any stirring or movement in the dark,
leave.
Open the cabinet slowly using either The Key or more conventional means of lock-picking,
and search for the ink. It sits near the back, and in the dark you can tell the jars apart
from the others because they will feel very, very cold to the touch. Only take one jar,
leave the other two for other seekers. Under no circumstances should you ever use the
ink to draw an image that includes yourself. Doing so will create your nemesis, and the
picture will show you his journey to reach you which will end in your death.
When driving along the river at night, a normally unused FM radio frequency will crackle
to life. The frequency is 104.6. The DJ’s name is never mentioned, and the voice sounds
different to whoever listens. The station plays swing music and, ten minutes after every
hour, dedicates five minutes to news. If you listen on your birthday, the news will change.
Instead of being the past day’s headlines, the news segment will be made up of events
that have happened or will happen to you. Before midnight, the events will be those of
the past year. After midnight, the events will be from the year to come.
The station identification message mentions the station’s address, but the address
belongs to a defunct arcade whose only remaining machine is a fortune telling scale.
ED: Close your eyes and let your mind wander. Let your body wander too. Slowly relax to
the sound of my voice and follow my words through the city. You are standing in the
+15’s, and you are walking slowly, slowly, nowhere in particular. Your eyes feel heavy,
and the more you close them, the more certain you are that you’re walking through the
walkways. Turn left, then right, then left again. The more you walk, the heavier your body
feels. The further and further away the place you want to go becomes and the more
aimless you feel. It’s so warm here, and there’s nothing but the walkway in front of you
and the sound of my voice. Now, I’m going to count backwards from ten, and when I get
to zero, you’ll see a door in front of you. Do you understand?
NM: I understand...
ED: Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Zero.
ED: He’s in the white room, Sandy. Would you like to go there too?
The office looks like any other dental practice, although noticeably more upscale and
dated. The chairs are real leather, the walls are paneled with mahogany outside of the
patient rooms. All the fixtures are ornate and beautifully decorated. The receptionist is
quiet to the point where you may first mistake her for a corpse. When she calls your
name, proceed to exam room one and lock the door behind you. There you’ll meet the
Night Dentist.
The Dentist will ask what you’re in for. If you tell him you need a cleaning, he’ll
investigate your teeth, frown, and tell you to leave. Your teeth will crumble to dust within
a week. If you tell him you need a tooth pulled, he’ll smile and start pulling. For every
tooth you let him pull from your mouth, you get a wish. Lastly, you can tell him you need
a root canal. A long, slow root canal. You’ll be subjected to the most torturous pain
imaginable, but if you endure it you’ll never die.
The old hospital site was in Bridgeland, although it’s impossible to get to the hospital
from there now. Instead, you must wait until the lock up. Around that time, antiquated
looking ambulances will start circulating in the city. Flag one down and board it, and tell
them you need to get to the hospital. The driver won’t be able to care for your injuries.
He’s a driver, not a paramedic. However, he’ll drop you off at Calgary General. Unlike the
Ambulance, Calgary General will be as it was in its height: one of the leading medical
centres in the country. Of course, everything will be about fifteen years out of date.
Leaving is, unfortunately, more difficult. They get so few patients. They need the practice.
The Stampede traces its roots to the pagan rites that farmers new to this country brought
with them from their homelands. The magic is old enough it’s no longer religion, just
mechanical. The rituals performed after hours sustain the city, as the rituals that find
their homes in other cities sustain them. But eating the meat makes you complicit, and
the taste that what they do to it leaves behind carries with it all the cruelty of fresh blood
on the snow.
Some acolytes more talented than I have reported being able to see what the men saw
before the axe came down, and at least one claims that when the meat touches his
tongue, he can see what the men saw after.
By now, the rocks have piled high enough that you will have to enter the shaft midway
up, probably at around the fourth floor or higher. The stones are easy to avoid, as they
always fall in the shaft’s northwest corner, or the far left corner when looking into the
shaft. Ascend the walls, avoiding the rocks in the process, using whatever climbing
equipment you deem necessary. When you reach the top of the shaft, you will see the
apparent source of the rocks: A mirror attached to the ceiling with thick roofing nails.
Close the mirror (Although it will be awkward granted its position). The rocks will cease
for a time, and until they resume the building’s residents will reward you for ending the
noise with a safe haven from any storm, including the one that They will unleash upon
you for stalling the stones.
The Room is home to three people whose appearances are totally impossible to recall.
They tend to the room, cleaning its furniture and playing host for any new arrivals. The
room itself is similarly nondescript: cracking blue paint and furniture that looks like it was
purchased a year or two at ikea. The exception is an antique table in the center of the
room which appears to date back to the early Victorian era. If you ask politely, one of the
room’s inhabitants will give you a tarot card reading.
The reading uses only the major arcana, and acolytes have reported that their readings
have often involved cards which they don’t recognize from any modern tarot. The
figurative meanings of the cards are totally unimportant. Instead, focus on the images.
These depict a trial you will face over the course of your journey. For example, a seeker
whose reading contained the tower unfortunately met the end of his journey while
consulting with the Hassidic Wizards of New York a week after his September Fourth
reading yielded only one card: The Tower.
Move out to the stairway and look at the piece of tacky installation art in the center.
Smear the blood of your kill on your eyes and look again. The work will blur and become
iridescent and beautiful. Then it will begin to rotate. With each full rotation, the stairway
will expand upwards a floor, revealing strange, hidden exhibits. The decor is markedly
less modern, and the exhibits depict unfamiliar events and places. Although the plaques
have long since become illegible, each diorama depicts a different event in the secret
history.
Undead, they render all attempts to foster any kind of life or vitality or commerce within
them moot. Storefronts where nothing lasts, tenements full of dead-eyed people, these
are dead buildings.
There is a dead shop in the city, although its location varies from account to account. The
facts that are universally agreed upon are simple: It is a small grocery owned by a man of
southern European extraction, most usually described as a Greek. His store sells fetos
and olives and all manner of other imported goods, but strangely carries no oil.
The store’s source of funds is unknown, as the building’s existential weight should crush
any business out of existence. The most prominent theory is that it exists for the sake of
storage.
The store has a small deli counter, although most of what is behind it is inevitably a week
past due. The sole exception is a bucket of some kind of imported fish that’s packed in
ice. The owner insists in his languid, half-dead tone that it’s herring, but herring doesn’t
have that many teeth, nor are they so sharp. Purchase one and leave the store.
Eat it raw. Do not eat it in the shop itself, as it lacks the strength to hold up to the
existential onslaught that is to come. A moment after the fish has passed your lips, you
will feel your head getting light.
When you regain consciousness, you will find yourself someplace dusky and dark: an
Iberian city choked with seaweed and politics and death. The whole city is dead, and so
nothing ever grows or changes. So it’s safe.
The clear chalk leaves invisible markings, you’ll be able to see anything you’ve drawn
with it by memory, but things other people have drawn will be much better hidden. To
see them, break one of the other pieces of chalk. It will crumble to dust in your grip and
the wind will cast it around you. It will stick to the invisible chalk. Never do this in public,
as the density of mystic patterns and glyphs in most of Calgary is prone to causing
migraines.
The old man who owns the liquor store is fond of cleverness, and if you surprise him with
your acumen, he may smooth the city’s rough edges for you. If you, like most, aren’t
clever then you will have to ply him with his passion: liquor. Like most of the dead, he’s
constrained by rules and by customs. He cannot drink unless it is purchased for him, and
he cannot forget unless he drinks. If you help him, he will owe you a favour. Forgiveness
of a trespass against another practitioner such as those described elsewhere in my notes,
or perhaps something more mundane.
However, if he realises what you are trying to do, you won’t make it out the door.
Cleverness and whisky are no match for a Smith & Wesson with more than a century of
practice behind it.
There is no agreed-upon method for taking control of the car, and most who have tried
have perished. However, if you find yourself in the driver’s seat turn the car to face any of
the principal compass directions and hit the gas. The car will accelerate and seemingly
pass through any obstacle unharmed. Depending on which direction you turned it, the car
will arrive in a different land of the dead and remain, waiting to ferry you back to the city
after you’ve finished your business.
To get to the stained wood, break into the storage facility after hours and break open the
rooms one by one. Decae moves the square every few months to hide it from would-be
plunderers. Eventually you will find the room with nothing but the square of wood inside.
Take it outside of the building and set it on the ground. When the moonlight hits the
stain, it will warp and twist until it forms the image of a flapper with a long and ragged
gash on her neck that drools sticky-wet blood over her breasts. She’ll ask you to dance.
If you can dance with her until sunrise, keeping up with her dated but vigorous
movements, she’ll vanish with the rays of the sun. Her movements will have cast her
blood, red blood, all over your body and clothing. Although no one else will be able to see
it, for the rest of your life you will appear bloodstained whenever you look at yourself. The
applications of this should be obvious.
However, if you put on the headset you will be immediately seized by a sense of nausea
and foreboding. The headset plays no sound other than a vague static hiss until you try to
type a document on the computer it’s attached to. The headset will begin to scream.
However, if you start to type the right word it will pause until you’re done typing the
word.
Though no one has ever tried, it’s assumed that with enough patience one could
reconstruct the finished document. The only problem is that the words are in an extinct
dialect of French.
The Master of the House will be indisposed, as will his elder son, but his youngest son will
come out to meet you. After excusing his relatives, he will answer any three questions
you ask. Unfortunately his answers will only make sense in retrospect. The young man
will leave after extending an invitation to spend the night. Accept and turn in early.
Around midnight, the Master’s daughter will come into your bed and try to seduce you.
Refuse. Her father’s slightest gesture could seal your fate.
Instead, ask her to tell you about herself. What she wil tell you is the story of Earth but
not of man. The story of creation and destruction. The story of the world itself from the
beginning to the end. The telling will take all night, after which she will leave you. Leave
the room and check out of the hotel without speaking to anyone else.
Unlike other ghosts, this is utterly tangible. Climb the stairs and enter the church. It will
take a few minutes for your eyes to fully register the interior as you will only be able to
perceive the vaguest outline of the room and its furnishings. The Church will be as it was
on the night of the fire, with ghostly flames burning the northwest corner.
Once your eyes have fully adapted, approach the altar and cut your hand with a black
handled knife. Bleed atop the altar, which will slowly recess into the floor.
The altar will descend two full storeys. The hole into which it sinks has rough walls and
should prove easy to climb. Descend slowly and carefully. As you descend, you will find
yourself sinking through the earth. Seeing will become impossible for a time, until you
reach the basement. The basement contains the bones and ashes of a handful of
practitioners and priests who have come seeking what you are about to find.
Located in this basement room is The Christ, still on his Cross, still bleeding. One drop of
his blood is enough to grant the strength to work miracles, but two will burn you to a
cinder.
The store’s latter days have left their mark on it, complete with discarded merchandise
and sordid video booths at the back. The break-in will have triggered the owner’s alarms,
no matter how careful you’ve been, so you only have time to grab a video at random and
run. Or else, should you be courageous, you can lock yourself overnight in one of the
booths as he’s long since lost his keys. He’ll leave at dawn, allowing you to escape.
However, he’ll turn the booth /on/.
If your stomach is strong enough to endure whatever sadistic footage he’s playing, you
can escape unharmed in the morning, armed with the video you grabbed. None of them
are in the correct case, and whatever system he uses to decide which cassette goes in
which case is incomprehensible. It could be lost footage of the kennedy assassination, it
could be Margaret Trudeau’s Rolling Stones sex tape, it could be any number of different
trip recordings from acolyte excursions.
When you make your way into the lot, look for a tireless convertible. Break into the trunk
and grab the first thing you can lay your hands on. Then run. Don’t bother with sneaking.
She will hear you, find you, and then it will all be over. When you get home, take a look at
whatever you’ve managed to pilfer. It will be mechanical, of course, as that is the owner’s
specialty. Probably a car part of some kind. But it will feel warm and supple to the touch.
With enough effort, it will fit into any machine, and confer upon it a blessing potent
enough to explain why she hordes them so jealously.
The Apartment Tower (#198)
There is an apartment tower near the C-train line that is always dark at night. The lights
never seem to go on, or if they do, they never do on the north face. The building never
advertises any vacancies, and in fact almost never gives any outward signs of being
inhabited at all. The building’s front door is always locked, but the side door that opens
onto a nearby alley opens with ease. Unfortunately, the room on the other side is shin-
deep in blood. Close the door behind you and begin to ascend the stairs.
Never Ever leave the staircase until you reach the top floor, no matter what you hear or
see. The staircase itself is tall and long and steep,, and a steady stream of blood flows
down it from the top. Once you reach the top of the stairs, you will see its source: A
pulsating, bleeding tumour five feet across that has been nailed to the wall. Don’t touch
it, or it will release its spores. Instead, go through the door into the main hallway of the
top floor. Do not let it close behind you.
The walls of the top floor have been broken out and have been replaced with screens
made of dried skin. If you touch it, it feels warm and moist, as though it were still alive.
Some of the sheets have faces. At the center of this hall, you will find a man on a throne
made of men holding awkward poses and contortions. He will smile at you, showing three
rows of teeth, and offer you his hospitality. Do not accept. You do not want to stay in the
tower like the rest of these poor souls. Instead, tell him you want to borrow a book.
Carelessly, he’ll throw whatever he’s currently reading at you. It’s entirely possible you’ll
be left with nothing but a wrinkled John Grisham, but for the most part, his reading
material is far more interesting and esoteric. Bring whatever book he gives you to Eddie
Decae, who will offer you something that isn’t printed on human skin.
The Other Mall looks just the same as a regular mall, except the stores are all wrong.
Woolworth’s, A&A Records, Eaton’s, every defunct company from the last twenty years.
The products are even weirder. Instead of stocking normal goods, or even normal goods
that have gone out of style, the stores stock things that never made it. Product ideas that
died on the table.
Amidst piles of anatomically correct dolls and surprisingly sharp-edged jewellery, amidst
sweaters with three sleeves and all the other defective garbage, you can sometimes find
a product that should have made it but didn’t. Home Cold Fusion. The cure for Cancer.
Appliances that never break down. Anything that THEY’RE using the other mall to hide.
The only problem is getting anything back with you. You don’t want to know what they do
to shoplifters on the other side.
Show up on the address and date given in the letter to discuss the inheritance of the
deceased. A distinct lawyer, the grieving widow and her son will be present. The son will
stare at you in silence as if he knew your true intentions. It's been said that They are the
tutors of these dubious offspring. Excuse yourself to the bathroom and search the house.
Once you find the master suite take pictures of the bed from several angles.
Sneak into the basement where you will find a well equipped darkroom and develop the
film using the canisters and chemicals at your disposal. Load the developed film into the
enlarger and whatever you do never turn on the safety light. The projected images will be
the same photographs you just shot, make copies regardless. Before developing the final
prints, pour the solutions labeled as expired into the trays. The images will begin to form
and instead of an empty room will reveal the murder of the deceased on the hands of the
son. Return to the meet and show the photos to the widow. She will banish the son from
the house and dismiss the lawyer. You will be given a carnation as reward and wearing it
will grant you a mournful life and peaceful death. If you stay any longer the widow will
propose to you. Should you accept your life will be one of celibacy, but you will have
access to all of the deceased's estate. Included are a collection of old cars that transport
you to past dates when something significant ocurred to the city and exquisite buildings
that never made it out of the blueprints. The buildings are safe and no one can find you
there as every single one will look like a vacant lot.