Beat This

Eating
Disorder
Created by Thomas Oakley

Beat This Eating Disorder

(First Edition)

Thomas Oakley (2016).

All Rights Reserved.

Contact: toakley@outlook.com

This book is intended as a self-help journal

for teenagers with eating disorders and
incorporates elements of mindfulness,
cognitive behavioural therapy and other
general activities designed to promote a
healthy lifestyle.

With thanks to my sister Ellie Oakley,

who provided the inspiration for the
journal and talked through countless ideas
with me.
Many of these activities were suggested
by people who have battled eating
disorders so a huge shout-out to anyone
who helped this project.

Contents
Introduction.........................................................................................................6
Helping Hand.......................................................................................................7
Hello World!.........................................................................................................9
Plan Your Day..................................................................................................10
Take a Deep Breath.....................................................................................11
Reasons to Recover ................................................................................... 12
Mango Milkshake............................................................................................13
Treat Yourself!............................................................................................... 14
Bombs Away! .................................................................................................. 15
Demolition Derby............................................................................................16
I Double Dare You!........................................................................................ 18
Change your Tune.........................................................................................19
Photo Fabulous.............................................................................................. 21
Why is Body Image important? .........................................................22
Doodlebug ........................................................................................................23
This is a Stream of Consciousness ..................................................... 24
One Step Forward, Two Steps Back..................................................25
Box of Tricks..................................................................................................26
Meditation .........................................................................................................27
Why Do I Feel How I Do?...........................................................................28
Alternatives to Self-harm ..........................................................................29
Exercise............................................................................................................ 30
Rose-tinted Glasses ......................................................................................31
3

Oodles of Doodles........................................................................................ 32
Beautiful Breakfasts ....................................................................................33
Pet Peeves ...................................................................................................... 35
Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining .............................................................36
Jekyll and Hyde ...............................................................................................37
Beauty Sleep....................................................................................................38
Do or Dye..........................................................................................................39
Back to the Future! ..................................................................................... 40
Thought Detectives...................................................................................... 41
To the Core ....................................................................................................42
Face your Fears!.......................................................................................... 43
House of Mirrors..........................................................................................45
Oh Crumbs...................................................................................................... 46
A Letter to.......................................................................................................47

Introduction
This is your journal.
That means you keep it, you choose what you write, and when
youre done with it, youll be the proud owner of a one-of-a-kind
work of art.
There are over 30 activities here, so it should last you at least a
month if you do one a day, but you can do them at whatever
pace and whatever order you fancy.
The title is about eating disorders, but really its so much more
than that: for example, it deals with anxiety, mood, and living
healthily, while some activities are there just because theyre
fun! Its not a cure for anything, but may help you think about
things differently.
If you want to, you can personalise your journal: stick things on
it, colour it in and make it unique!

Note: Some activities require supplies, so maybe have a flick

through in advance so youre not caught off-guard!

Helping Hand
Before the real fun can kick off, its important to go through a
few things. Sometimes people need help, but its tricky to know
who to turn to. Think of this as your safety briefing; like the
ones they do on flights before you take off!
When should I get some help?
The easy answer, is if you feel like you need it. If youre
struggling, or a worried about things then asking for help is a
sensible thing to do.
Many people dont realise they need help until theyre in real
trouble. Here are some red flags; if you have any of them, it
means you should definitely see someone.
Red Flag signs

If youve lost a stone (about 3kg) in weight in 3 months.

If you worry you have lost control over what you eat.
If you find often force yourself to exercise or skip meals.
If you faint, feel dizzy or have a blackout.
If youve made yourself sick, especially if this is more
than twice a day or there is blood in it.
If you use any diet pills or laxatives.
If you cant stand up without using your arms to lever
yourself up.
If youre short of breath.
If you feel like you want to harm yourself.
If youve had thoughts of suicide or feel hopeless.

Why should I get help?

Youre probably stressed out and anxious, and getting help with
this can help you start to feel a bit better. Also, eating disorders
can have a real impact on your body and can even put your life
at risk so its important to take them seriously.
Who can help me?

Your family and friends

If youre worried, your friends and family generally know you
pretty well. They may be able to give you a bit of extra support,
and if you need more help, then they can go with you in case
youre nervous.

Your GP
Especially if youre experiencing any of the red flag signs.
Your regular doctor is a good person to chat to, especially as
they probably know you already. They can also help point you in
the direction of other people who can help.

Beat b-eat.co.uk
0345 6341414 help@b-eat.co.uk (adults)
0345 634 7650 fyp@b-eat.co.uk (U25s)
These guys are the leading eating disorder charity in the UK. If
you look online, they have a helpline you can call, or an email
address if you cant quite handle a conversation.

Samaritans samaritans.org 116 123 jo@samaritans.org

Sometimes you feel like you cant talk to your friends or family,
so if something is troubling you; you can call the Samaritans for
free at any time and there will be someone to listen to you.
8

Hello World!
This journal is going to be your friend for the next month
- so tell it a bit about yourself. (Also useful in case it gets lost!)
Your name:
Age:
About you:
(Hair colour,
Eye colour,
personality,
everything that
makes you, you):
3 favourite things:

3 fears:
Someone who
you care about:
If you were an
animal, which one
would you be,
and why?:
Somewhere
youd love to visit:
9

Plan Your Day

Often, when people are stressed they lose any sense of routine.
A proper routine can help you get back on track and feeling
good.
It may seem silly but try writing a schedule for tomorrow. Make
sure you include things like personal hygiene, eating, socialising,
and a good amount of sleep.
Time
Activity
6:00am
7:00am
8:00am
9:00am
10:00am
11:00am
12:00pm
1:00pm
2:00pm
3:00pm
4:00pm
5:00pm
6:00pm
7:00pm
8:00pm
9:00pm
10:00pm
11:00pm
10

Take a Deep Breath

Deep breathing is a good way to relax when youre anxious.
Even better, you can do it anywhere and people wont even
notice! Breathing techniques are even a key part of Yoga
known as Pranayama - prana in Sanskrit means both
"breath" and "spirit energy".
Try to step out of the situation, and focus on your breathing.
Listen to the sound of your breathing and take slow deep
breaths. Here are three great techniques you can try in
different situations:
Before something stressful - Abdominal Breathing
Place one hand on your tummy and the other on your chest
bone and feel the movement of your body as you breathe in
and out. If you can, breathe from your abdomen rather than
your chest and take some slow deep breaths.
For an energy boost - Alternate Nostril Breathing
Some say this one gets both sides of your brain going. Start by
pinching your nose, block off your right nostril, and inhale
through your left nostril. Now block off your left nostril and
exhale through your right nostril. Carry on the pattern,
switching it by breathing in with your right and out with your left
nostril,
Before Bedtime - Equal Breathing
This one is as simple as breathing in, counting to four, then
exhaling and counting to four again. Breath through your nose
as this will slow down your breath and let you relax. You don't
just have to do it at bedtime either, this one can be done any
time, any place.
11

Reasons to Recover
Sometimes, you need a little reminder of the things that are
important to you. Before you get better, you need some
reasons to recover. Maybe its so that you can spend more
time with your family, so that you feel healthier, or so that you
can go out with your friends and manage to sit at a caf with
them. Try and list 10 reasons that make you want to recover.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
12

Mango Milkshake
Staying hydrated is important. This doesnt mean drinking fluids
all the time, and a good goal is 2 litres for a normal day. Staying
hydrated is especially relevant if you purge, as you might be
losing key fluids this way. Water is good, but its always nice to
mix it up a little. This milkshake could be one option as an
alternative snack if you have trouble with solid foods.

Ingredients
1 frozen banana (peeled and sliced)
medium mango (in chunks)
100ml of dairy milk (whole or semi-skimmed)
4-5 ice cubes (optional)
Method
1. Blend the banana and milk together in a good blender
until the mixture is smooth and creamy.
2. Add the mango and ice, then carry on blending until its
thoroughly mixed. This will take a couple of minutes.
3. Try and enjoy your smoothie! Take small sips and do
your best to keep it down.
If you are seeing a clinician, it is best to speak to them
about your diet. The best person is a dietician. They should be
able to give you advice on what to eat and also the importance
of having a balanced diet which includes lots of different foods.

13

Treat Yourself!
Making changes can be hard, especially if youre trying to break
a habit. Which is why rewarding yourself is important!
1. Find a jar and make sure its clean.
2. Decorate it however you like! (With ribbon, glitter glue,
stickers get creative)

3. Find some buttons. You can often find these at markets

or online get lots of different kinds.

4. Every time you do something tough like not purging

(even if you really want to), going out even if youre

miserable, or sharing how you feel even though its kind
of private: put a button in the jar.
5. Choose how many buttons you need before you get a
treat: Somewhere between 10 and 15 is a good idea.
6. When you get enough buttons in your jar, treat yourself!
Pick something non-food related, like a manicure, a small
piece of jewellery or a bath bomb.
7. Empty the jar and start all over again, maybe you could
keep a list of the treats you got yourself and remember
how you earned them the hard way.

14

Bombs Away!
Looking after yourself starts with the basics, so lets get you
spick and span, and smelling good. It doesn't matter if youre a
bath person or a shower person; weve got ideas for both!
They even make great gifts for friends and family.

Bath Bomb

Shower Scrub

Ingredients

Ingredients

1 cup Baking Soda

1/2 cup Epsom Salts
2 tablespoons Coconut Oil
1/2 cup Citric Acid
A mould for your bath bombs
e.g. a muffin tray
Some vegetable oil
4-5 drops Essential Oils
e.g. Lavender (Optional)
Food colouring (Optional)

1 cup of
brown sugar
1/2 cup of
coconut oil
2 tablespoons of
cocoa powder
4-5 drops of
coconut extract/
essential oils

Instructions
1. Mix all the dry ingredients in a bowl.
2. Mix all the wet ingredients separately.
3. Slowly add the wet ingredients to the
dry ones, it may fizz a little but keep
stirring.
4. Add a few drops of oil to each mould
and fill it with the mixture. (Dont fill to the
top as the mix will expand slightly)
5. Leave at room temperature for at
least 3 hours and until hardened.
6. Enjoy your bath bomb in a nice
relaxing bath!
15

Instructions
1. Mix all the
ingredients
together in a bowl
until they are
smooth.
2. Put it in a jar.
(you could
decorate it with
ribbon if its a gift).
3. Once a week
rub the mixture on
your skin then
wash it off!

Demolition Derby
Write down all the bad things your illness tells you or leads you
to do, on this page - then rip it up and destroy it! It doesnt
matter how: flush it down the loo, scrunch it up, or tear it to
shredsthe possibilities are endless.
Your eating disorder has such a destructive impact on you, its
time to get your own back!

16

This page is blank for when you

tear out the page before!

17

I Double Dare You!

Its good to set goals, it gives you something to aim for and you
generally feel pretty good when you succeed.
We often bite off more than we can chew or dont know how to
go from dream to reality. Today, we're going to set some goals
to achieve by the end of the month but try to follow these tips!
Be realistic
If you plan to go to the moon, unless you become an astronaut
its probably not going to happen! Thats not to say its bad to
have dreams or long term goals as long as you have smaller
reasonable ones too.
Choose something specific
Instead of something like trying to "sleep better", a more useful
way to goal set is to say "I want to go to sleep at 10pm tonight".
That way, you can say for sure that youve achieved your goal.
Remember to celebrate your achievements!
If you've done something really tough, then treat yourself!
Look at the Treat Yourself section for a fun way to do this.
List your goal below, and when you want to do it by:

If you want to learn more about goal setting, look up SMART goals!

18

Change your Tune

Change is really hard. Especially when its a major change or
something thats a big part of your life. It never happens straight
away and some people have suggested that there are several
steps people go through.
Think about what step youre in and whats stopping you from
changing.

1. Precontemplation
You think that everything is
fine how it is and you don't see
things as a problem.

5.
Maintenance/Relapse
Hopefully you stick with your
change and maintain it.
You might fall back into old
habits, and go back to the
contemplation or
precontemplation stage

19

2. Contemplation
You've thought about
change but ugh. It's so
difficult and you don't
even know how to do
it.

4. Action

3. Preparation

Yay! You've
started to change
what you do, but
that doesn't mean
you're done.

You think you know

how to make a
change, but you're
not sure if you
want to go through
with it.

Here are some suggestions to help you move to the next stage
if youre stuck:
1. Precontemplation
Take a look back at the Reasons to recover page.
These are the advantages to making your change. Of
course there are difficulties but the change is worth it!
2. Contemplation
Talk your thoughts through with a friend or someone
else.
They might help you realise that if you work hard you
can really do this!
3. Preparation
Tell your friends and family what youre planning to do.
Remove anything which may trigger you.
Set a date and make a plan of what youre going to do.
4. Action
Put your plan into action, remember why youre doing it
and if you have difficulties think about what you can do to
get around them.
5. Maintenance/Relapse
You need to stick with your change; be aware of any
warning signs that you might be slipping into old habits.
If you do relapse, thats okay! Theres a page later on
(One step forwards, two steps back) that looks at how
to deal with this.
Think about why things went wrong and what you can do
next time to stop it happening: it often takes two or more
goes to make a change stick.

20

Photo Fabulous
Stick in a photo of yourself. Start with one thing you like
about your body and write it down. If you are struggling to do
this alone, ask a friend what they like about your body. Then, if
someone pays you a compliment, add it to the page here! Check
back on this page whenever you are lacking body confidence.

Stick
your
photo
here!

21

Why is Body Image important?

Our body image is how we feel about our bodies, including
your appearance and how you think other people see you.
Having a good body image doesn't mean you have to think
you're attractive or perfect; it's being comfortable with
who you are. Society has some ridiculous expectations of
beauty which are often impossible especially in a world full
of Photoshop and make-up.
Listing things that you (and others) like about yourself
reminds you that it is possible to be happy and healthy, and
not to be too tough on yourself.
Body image has a real effect on people, and can really
knock your confidence! Isn't it crazy that 1 in 6 people
taking their GCSEs have avoided going to school
because they felt bad about their appearance? Poor body
image is also linked to lower confidence, lower aspirations
and people not joining in.
Believe in yourself and don't be afraid to dream! Also
remember to share the love, and tell other people if they
look good, that little compliment can make someone's day.

22

Doodlebug
Did you know doodling is good for you?
It can focus your mind and help relieve stress.
Finish off this page with your own doodles and colour it in!

23

This is a Stream of
Consciousness

24

One Step Forward,

Two Steps Back...
It's really good to make positive changes and try to recover but
it doesn't all happen straight way. Sometimes you can have
hiccups or things can even get worse!
Recognize when things haven't gone to plan
Its okay to say to yourself this isnt working. If you find
yourself in this position STOP, and take a moment to look at the
situation.
Don't play the blame game
It doesnt matter whose fault it is, blaming people wont make
things better.
Make a plan and keep pushing yourself
Dont give up, think about what set you back and come up with
a solution. Even better come up with multiple solutions so if
Plan A doesnt work, you have a Plan B and even a Plan C!
Think about why youre doing what youre doing; if its eating
disorder related, look at your reasons to recover. The goal
setting earlier in the book might also help you get back on
track.

On a piece of paper, try writing a problem down and make a

spider diagram to see how many different solutions you can
think of:

25

Box of Tricks
Think of all the things which help you to feel good. These should
be healthy things which can deal with stress. Think about music,
meditation or other activities you do. Write them down here,
and you'll have a little toolkit if you're anxious, or if something
triggers you.
Also, maybe specific people are good at helping you calm down.
You can write their names down here and keep this page with
you so that people know what help to get in the future.

26

Meditation
Close your eyes.
For a few minutes, sit and focus on everything going on around
you. Pick out all the sounds and sensations you usually miss. Be
aware of your body. Try to make sure no-one disturbs you.
Breathe slowly, trying the breathing exercises earlier in the
book.
Starting with the top of your head, sweep through every part of
your body, moving downwards feeling for any tension as you try
and let go and relax.

27

Why Do I Feel How I Do?

People can feel down for several reasons: some of these
include
Having a negative view of yourself
Interpreting things in a negative and biased way
Having a negative view of the future
People dont choose to think like this, often its out of habit. Also
there are other reasons people feel sad, but learning to think
differently and recognize bad thoughts can give you a boost.
Here's an example:
Event
You fail an exam

Thought
Good: Its okay, Ill work hard and pass next time.
Bad: Im useless, I cant do anything

Action
Good: You revise for the exam and pass!
Bad: You dont feel like doing anything and struggle

Feelings
Good: Positive, as I know next time Ill be prepared.
Bad: Sad, unsure about the future.
28

Alternatives to Self-harm
Sometimes when people feel down and dont know how else to
cope they can self-harm. Obviously, its not healthy, but people
can feel pretty desperate. If you ever feel like this, then here
are some safe alternatives to try instead.

1.
2.
3.
4.

Stomp around as loud as you can.

Draw funny faces on the photos in a magazine.
Hit a pillow against the wall as hard as you can.
Pop some bubble wrap. (Most people love this so
you can even do it with a friend!)
5. Stretch some blu-tack out then scrunch it up again.
6. Jump on some drinks cans and crush them (with
shoes on).
7. Hold ice against your skin/ run cold water on your
hands.
8. Scribble on some paper so its completely coloured
in.
9. Find somewhere you can shout as loud as you like.
10. Draw on your skin with a marker
Try the Butterfly Project: draw a butterfly where
you want to self-harm, and if the butterfly stays until
the marker fades then it lived and flown away!
11. Cut up some fruit instead (and make a fruit salad!)
12.Throw a bouncy ball against the wall.
13. Kiss the place you want to harm, or where you have
a wound to remind yourself that you care about
your body.
Remember, if you do self-harm, you should tell someone
so that you can get any injuries sorted out properly.
29

Exercise
When you're feeling down, you often don't feel like
doing anything. Maybe part of why youre down, is
because youre not doing anything.
Exercise can help your mood and prevent anxiety.
Over-exercising is dangerous, and a problem for some
people. If exercising becomes a duty and not something you
enjoy, or if it gets in the way of every-day life, then youre
probably doing too much! Another way to tell if youre overexercising, is if you feel guilty when you dont exercise or if its
the most important thing in your life.
Here are some suggestions to get you up and moving:
Dancing
Its perfect to do with friends and really fun. Put on your
favourite music and make up some routines, or even just jump
around! Games like Just Dance are also good to give you ideas,
or add some competition into the mix.
.

Walking
This ones simple, but can really help. Take a short walk with
family or friends. Try and be mindful of nature and your
surroundings, listening to the sounds all around you.
Gardening
This doesnt seem like exercise, but it can get really active!
Digging, and weeding makes you stretch, and if youre a fan of
flowers theres nothing better. If you're adventurous you could
try growing your own fruit and vegetables.
.

If you are seeing a clinician, its a good idea to seek their advice
on the right amount. Remember, if youre doing more, you need
to give your body more energy.
30

Rose-tinted Glasses
You may have heard of people looking through rose-tinted
glasses when people always see things in a positive way sometimes the opposite can happen! Your brain doesnt always
see things how they actually are; it is sometimes tricky to know
what the truth is.
Below are some ways of thinking that people sometimes fall
into. Tick the thoughts that you sometimes have, and if you find
yourself ticking quite a few, then trying to change how you think
might really help you. Thoughts are explored later on, but try
and imagine how someone else might think about these
situations. If you find yourself having a negative thought, try and
take off your glasses and look at the situation again.
Things always go wrong for me.
Ill never be able to do anything right.
I should be a better person.
Im useless and no good.
Im un-loveable.
I always mess things up.
Im a fraud.
Things need to be perfect.
Im a failure.
He/she didnt say hello; I must be boring.
Nobody likes me.
If its not right, theres no point doing it at all.
31

Oodles of Doodles
It turns out that people really love doodles! So by popular
demand theres an extra doodle page here. Go wild!

32

Beautiful Breakfasts
Its a common saying that breakfast is the most important meal
of the day, but why? Why does it matter if you skip breakfast?
A healthy breakfast gives you both the fuel you need to be
active during the day, and the nutrients your body needs. The
important thing when you have a meal is to make sure that its
balanced. This means you have a mix of nutrients, including
carbohydrates, fat, protein and some fruit and vegetables. All of
these play a vital role in making sure your body has everything it
needs to function properly.
People who make time for breakfast often have a healthier diet
overall! Here are a couple of recipes to make breakfast a bit
more fun.
Breakfast Fruit Parfait

Ingredients
5 tablespoons plain yoghurt
5 tablespoons of granola
5 tablespoons of fresh berries (raspberries, blueberries,
strawberries (hulled and sliced), and/or other fruit such as
bananas or mangos, peeled and sliced
1 tablespoon honey
Method
1. In a tall glass, spoon the yoghurt in and smooth down
the top.
2. Add the granola, again smoothing it down afterwards
to make the next layer.
3. Top it off with your fruit, spooning this in before
drizzling some honey on top.
33

Egg and Avocado Toast

Ingredients
Ripe Avocado
2 eggs
1/2 lemon juice
Salt
2 slices of bread
Olive Oil
Seasoning
Method
1. Cut the avocado, remove the stone, and scoop the
flesh into a bowl.
2. Add lemon juice and salt to the avocado.
3. Mash the mixture with a fork to the texture you want.
4. Spread onto toast, drizzle with oil and season.
5. Cook the eggs however you fancy (boiled, poached,
scrambled or fried), then add them to the top of your
toast.

34

Pet Peeves
So maybe you already know what youre like when youre in a
bad mood, or feeling down, but have you thought about what
makes you feel that way? Maybe it's people talking about a
certain topic, having an argument with someone, or things to do
with food or weight.
It's time to think about triggers, things that set you off. Write
them down here, and if you've done other pages, you can make
a tool kit which says what triggers you, signs that you're
stressed, and which coping strategies can help you deal with
them before they become a problem.

Things that trigger me:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.
35

Every Cloud Has

a Silver Lining
Take a few things that have happened that seem negative and
try and find a positive way to think about it. If you're having
trouble, then ask a friend!
Of course, you can't turn everything into a positive, and its
definitely important to recognize sadness when something bad
has happened.
Example: My day was awful, I was late to meet my friends and
we missed the film we were going to see.
Seeing the positive: I'm glad my friends waited for me, even
though we didn't see the film, we went to the park instead and
had a great time
What happened:
Seeing the positive:
What happened:
Seeing the positive:
What happened:
Seeing the positive:
36

Jekyll and Hyde

Have you ever noticed that sometimes its as if theres two
versions of yourself? The good-you, whos great to be around
and generally in a good mood, then the evil twin where
everything goes a bit pear-shaped.
Draw and write about two copies of you, one when you're
feeling well and one when you're struggling and need some
support; what's different between the two? Maybe the otheryou doesn't join in activities or might get snappy at people.
Of course there arent really two versions of you, but maybe
by drawing it out, you'll notice signs that things aren't quite right
so that you can talk to someone about how you're feeling
before you turn into a bit of a monster!

When Im happy

37

When I feel down

Beauty Sleep
A good nights sleep can make the world a much better place.
Sometimes though, no matter what, you just cant get to sleep.
There are some things you can do, known as sleep hygiene
which can get you ready for a proper sleep and have you
feeling ship-shape.
1. Avoid things that stimulate you.
The main one is caffeine, so avoid coffee and cola for at
least four hours before bed time. Nicotine is also a
stimulant found in tobacco, so you should also avoid
smoking four hours before bed.
2. Dont work in your bedroom!
If you have to study, dont do it in your room. That way
your body knows that your bedroom is a place for
relaxing.
3. Have a routine.
A set routine like having a shower and reading a book
for half an hour can give your body the signs that its
almost time to sleep. Similarly, be consistent and try to go
to bed at the same time each day.
4. Avoid artificial light
Try not to look at your phone, or computers in the hour
before bed-time. The light can affect your brain and stop
you getting to sleep.
5. Have a bath and a hot drink
If you can, have a bath the hot water can be relaxing.
See the bath bomb recipes to make it extra special. A
hot drink like warm milk or hot chocolate will also help
you to nod off.
38

Do or Dye
Have you got an old white top somewhere at the back of your
closet? Of course you have! Give it a new lease of life with
some tie-dye. You can even dye clothes and give them to your
friends.

What you need:

Several types of fabric dye
Rubber bands
Rubber gloves
Marbles
A Bucket
Water
Some clothes to dye!
Method:
1. Get the dye ready in the bucket, according to the
instructions on the packet. Make sure you wear gloves
as the dye can irritate your skin.
2. Tie your clothes using the rubber bands and marbles:
different techniques give different effects.

sunburst

stripes

circles

rubber bands with just rubber marbles with a

bands
single band
several marbles
3. Place in the dye for at least 15-20 minutes (the longer
you leave it, the stronger the colour)
4. Rinse out the clothes according to the instructions on the
dye and dry them out.
39

Back to the Future!

Imagine you find a time machine and it takes you 10 years into
the future. Whats changed? What do you think youll be doing?
Write here what you think itll be like: describe the sights and
sensations, then maybe look back in the future and see if its like
you imagined!

40

Thought Detectives
Core beliefs are really important, often lots of other thoughts
stem from them. I`f theyre negative, it can affect how you think
about everything.
Theyre hard to identify and even harder to challenge, but
here's a way to try and work it all out. You just have to be a bit
of a detective and find the clues.
Take a negative thought you often have, and trace it back to
the core belief. To trace it back, ask yourself "If this were true,
what does this mean about me?"
An example is on the left, with a space for you to try it on the
right.
Example
Negative Thought
My friend didnt want
to meet up
(What does this mean?)
Im boring
(What does this mean?)
Nobody likes me
(What does this mean?)
Im worthless
(CORE BELIEF)
41

Negative Thought
.
(What does this mean?)
.
(What does this mean?)
.
(What does this mean?)
..
(CORE BELIEF)

To the Core
Hopefully you managed to track your thoughts
back to the negative core beliefs. Its difficult to
challenge these thoughts especially when you've
spent most of your time focusing on things that
make you agree with that core belief.
Write down a core belief, and then try and find evidence that
proves it wrong. The example on the last page was that the
person thinks that they are worthless. Asking a friend for
evidence, or keeping a diary of things helps to stop you from
forgetting them, otherwise youll only remember the negatives.
Core Belief:
(e.g. Im worthless)
Evidence its not true: (e.g. Sophie said she wants to meet up)

42

Face your Fears!

The best way to get over what scares you is to deal with it head
on otherwise, you just avoid it and you find that it controls
your life.
Often the build up to something scary feels much worse than
actually doing it. Start off slow, with something manageable, then
next time push yourself a little further. Try the Take a deep
breath page earlier in the journal to calm yourself before
facing a fear.
Things may not go perfectly (see One step forwards two steps
back) but thats no reason not to try again!
To face your fears, try making a fear ladder. Put the least
scary thing at the bottom, and the scariest thing at the top. Here
are some examples.
Go a whole day without
purging
Eating a meal in a
restaurant
Wait at least an hour after
eating before going to the
Having a snack in a caf
bathroom
Having a drink in a caf

Eat three healthy meals in

a day

Eating in front of a friend

Plan what you are going to

eat that day and stick to it

Having a drink with a friend

Talking to someone while
they are eating
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Drink a nourishing
smoothie without purging
Record what you eat for a
whole day

Try and make your own ladders, crossing off each thing as you
do it, to climb your ladder!

Most scary

Least scary

44

House of Mirrors
Have you ever been into a room full of mirrors where
everything is distorted? Your body looks out of proportion and
it can be quite scary! Sometimes your mind does a similar thing
when you look in an ordinary mirror. You think that you look
awful when you see yourself, even though its not really true.
Your body image isnt just what you see, but also what you think!
This includes memories and mental images.
Do you find yourself constantly checking your appearance in
the mirror, or do you avoid them completely?
Try to count the number of times you look at your
reflection in a day as an experiment- include looking at the
window and any other reflective surface.
If you check your appearance more than 15-20 times,
challenge yourself to do this less as this compulsive checking
reinforces negative thoughts. Maybe, say before you go out, try
to look in the mirror only once before you leave.
On the other hand, if you actively avoid looking in the mirror,
this could be because youre afraid of your appearance.
Instead, challenge yourself to take a look back at the Photo
Fabulous section of the book.
Its important to remember that while how we look may feel
important, it really is who you are inside that matters. Try to
avoid compulsive behaviours you may do such as mirror
checking, comparing yourself to others and reassurance
seeking. Look at the coping mechanisms you wrote in the Box
of tricks section if you find this hard.
45

Oh Crumbs...
When people talk about baking, most people think of cakes.
Not this time though youre going to learn how to make bread.
This can be pretty satisfying as you need to really put some
effort into kneading it all together. Perfect if you want to destress!
Ingredients
500g of white bread flour
2 of teaspoons salt
7g of yeast (1 sachet)
300ml of lukewarm water
3 of tablespoons vegetable oil
Method
1. Mix the flour and yeast in a bowl.
2. Add the oil and water and mix everything together.
3. Add the salt and continue to mix.
4. Put flour on a work surface, then tip the mixture onto it.
5. Knead the dough, stretching it between both hands until it
is really smooth and springy, then place it in an oiled bowl
with some cling film on top and leave for at least an hour
until it has doubled in size.
6. Line a tray with some baking parchment.
7. Heat the oven to 220C (200C for a fan oven)/gas
mark 7.
8. Take your dough and knock the air out of it, form it into
a ball and place it on the tray.
9. Split the top of the bread with a knife and bake in the
oven for 25-30 minutes until golden brown.
10. Allow to cool on a wire rack.
Maybe you could toast it and try the avocado breakfast recipe!
46

A Letter to...
Youre at the end of this journal, and maybe youre not ready to
say goodbye to your eating disorder just yet, thats okay, but
you can still let it know how you feel.
This is something very personal, so heres your chance to say
the things you may feel youve never had the chance to. Think
about how it has made you feel, and the ways in which its
affected your life. You can do it in this book, or find a piece of
paper. Try and get it all down, its a chance to try and let go.
Your eating disorder isnt you! Its easy to feel like its a big
part of who you are, but youre so much more than that.

47