BILL MAHER: Thank you very much. How you doin? Ah, stop it. Thank you.

All right. Thank

you, folks. How are you? Aw, please, please. Thank you. Youre so kind. Thank look at
this crowd, what a crowd! Thats right, youre here. Im here. Youre happy. I love it that
theyre always happy.
I think I know why youre happy tonight. I say that every week, but 23 years, you think
theyd catch on by now. But, I know why. Because the Republicans had a debate last night.
And, at their usual sausage partythey were missing the biggest sausage.
Thats right. Donald TrumpohDonald Trump skipped the debate. It was like Seinfeld
episode without Kramer. It just didnt work.
Before the debate, they had a P.A. announcement. The guy said, The role of Asshole
tonight will beplayed by Chris Christie. And, no, Chris Christie loved this. They all did, I
guess, but Christie actually said it out loud. He said, Good, more time for me. And more
food in the green room. Heshes a large man.
But, no, actually, Donald Trump was across town. He held an event to compete with the
debate, a charity for wounded warriors. Because, who better to celebrate our soldiers who
have faced bombs and bullets than the guy who ran away in terror from Megyn Kelly.
No, thats thats why Trump boycotted the debate. You know that. Because Megyn Kelly
was mean to him. And, you know what? I think we can all sympathize here, that it is almost
impossible for a Republican to get a fair hearing on Fox. What iswhat iswhat is going
on with Trump and Megyn Kelly? Did she borrow one of his wigs and not return it?
I mean, this is a full-on feud now with with Trump and Fox News. They were trying to
embarrass him. They considered going with an empty podium. And then they remembered
they have Jeb Bush. So that
And, you know what? Jeb Bush exactly it was boring, that debate. I wish Trump hadnt
pulled outAnd his father had. Oh, I kid Donald Trump.
But, it doesnt it doesnt matter what Trump does. His supporters love him to the end. He
is in a magical place with the people who follow him. He could lock himself in a porta-potty,
knock it over trying to get out, crawl out covered in piss and toilet paper, and theyd go,
See. Romney never did that. Thats awesome.
No, hes taking over the party. He is. He probably already has. Hes beaten the
establishment. Hes beating Fox News. Watch out, Jesus, you could be next.
Well, speaking of right-wingers, it looks like that rebellion in Oregon, the militia guys who
took over the federal building, is over. The rebelswere arrested at a traffic stop. You
know, how serious can your movement be if you can fit in one carand you get caught
on a beer run? This just
Okay, now, we signed that deal with Iran this year. Great. Theyre selling shit now to the
world. Theyre buying shit. This is good. Were going to talk to people who used to be
enemies. When people sell each other shit, they usually dont go to war.
But, okay, there are limits. The Iranian president was in Italy this week, first time in 17
years. Again, good news. But, listen to this: they had a press conference at Romes
Capitoline Museum. They covered all the statues that showed bare breasts.
You know what? When in Rome, you really should remember the phrase, When in
Rome Thank you. True.

And, not only that, at the Museum, in the Asian wing, they covered up the whole Wang
Dynasty. I mean, this isout of hand.
And thenand then the next day, President Rouhani of Iran was in France, and canceled a
lunch because the Iranians insisted no wine be served. I dont know what is a bigger insult:
telling the French you dont like their wine, or the Italians that youre not into tits. That is a
And, finally, oh, boy, talk about tone deaf. In the in the year when were all talking about
how the Oscars are too white, they have cast Joseph Fiennes, a white actor, to play
Michael Jackson in a movie. How dare they change Michael Jacksons skin color? Who do
they think they are? Michael Jackson?!
All right, weve got a great show. Kristen Soltis Anderson is here. Thom Hartmann, Trey
Radel thank you, sir and a little later, well be speaking with filmmaker Adam McKay.
But, first up, my first guest is a doctor and researcher who recently treated Charlie Sheen
with his alternative AIDS treatment. Here is a little bit of Charlie and Dr. Oz discussing the
results of that treatment two weeks ago.
[CLIP SHOWN: CHARLIE SHEEN ON DR. OZ]
DR. OZ: Explain what you saw that was encouraging.
CHARLIE SHEEN: That theoff of the the med cocktail, that I wasIm undetectable.
DR. OZ: HIV titers were no detectable?
SHEEN: Yeah, yeah. Andand it stayed that way.
[back to live]
MAHER: Please welcome Dr. Sam Chachoua! [Chachoua joins Maher onstage] Doctor,
how you doin?
DR. SAM CHACHOUA: Thank you, Bill. Doing good, Bill.
MAHER: Okay. All right. SoChachoua, I said that right? Okay, all right, Im going to call
you Dr. Sam because thats a tough name.
CHACHOUA: Okay.
MAHER: But, you know, I watched that Dr. Oz episode a few times, and they just kind of
leave it hanging there. If you brought Charlie now, you were in Mexico with him, right?
CHACHOUA: Yes.
MAHER: For how long?
CHACHOUA: Better part of a couple of months.
MAHER: Couple of months he was down there. Okay.
CHACHOUA: On and off.

MAHER: Okay. So, if if he says, as he did, it was undetectable and it stayed, then why did
he go back on the, you know, traditional cocktail? And, what was his condition when you
met him?
CHACHOUA: He, quite frankly, he was dying when I met him. Charlie had severe
encephalitis. He couldnt stand in the daylight. He his house was like the Bat Cave, all
the shades drawn, and in dark glasses.
MAHER: Thats because of the hookers.
CHACHOUA: He had severe liver failure from the medication and the alcohol, probably.
MAHER: Right.
CHACHOUA: But and he was incontinent. He was just in a horrible, depressed way. And,
as soon as I saw him, I had to fix the liver failure. I had to try and clear the encephalitis,
which was killing him. And, I managed to do that. In fact, within a few hours of the first
treatment, Charlie was running, throwing ball. He was out in the daylight. He felt fantastic.
He felt like a fog had lifted off him.
And, it wasnt just Charlies words. All the tests from Cedars-Sinai came back showing that
even though, you know
MAHER: [overlapping] Right, Ive seen those you know, Ive seen footage of him. He
showed a lot of stuff when you were in Mexico together.
CHACHOUA: When he was on the incredibly powerful medical cocktails, he still showed
virus.
MAHER: Right.
CHACHOUA: As soon as he started my treatment, he became
MAHER: [overlapping] Sookay, soso, what is in your magic potion? And how did you
discover it?
CHACHOUA: I was a researcher. The easiest way to find a cure for something or a
treatment is to look for where the disease should be but isnt. And I found a place in Mexico

MAHER: [overlapping] Should be but isnt.

CHACHOUA: [overlapping]so, I found a place in Mexico with all the IV-drug users,
prostitutes
MAHER: [overlapping] Oh, I see. Right.
CHACHOUA: [overlapping]all the high-profile things that that are necessary for AIDS.
But, I didnt find AIDS.
MAHER: But, you found Charlie. Im joking. Last Charlie Sheen joke, okay. So
CHACHOUA: What I found was that people there were drinking goat milk from goats
which had arthritis. These goats have a virus called CAEV, and this virus destroys HIV and
protects people who drink it for life.

MAHER: Wow. So, okay so, why do only you know this?
CHACHOUA: I dont. And the good thing about the Internet, now you can look and see a lot
of researchers did follow on my work
MAHER: [overlapping] Right.
CHACHOUA: [overlapping]but they never carried it through. In fact, Cedars and UCLA
came courting me. They asked me to help them bring this out to the world.
MAHER: [overlapping] When?
CHACHOUA: [overlapping] They tested my work. They described it
MAHER: [overlapping] When was this?
CHACHOUA: [overlapping]in the mid-nineties.
MAHER: Nineties. Oh, okay.
CHACHOUA: [overlapping] They tested my work. They found it exciting, profound, more
than 99% effective. Then they published it as their own, and buried it.
MAHER: Right, I saw a KNBC News report on this. Its the quality is a little bad because it
is 20 years ago. But, look at it, and this explains it.
[CLIP SHOWN: KNBC NEWS REPORT]
FEMALE REPORTER [OFF CAMERA]: Imagine being near death from cancer or AIDS.
Suddenly, a miracle appears, a vaccine that all but cures your disease. Then you learn the
very thing thats saving you has somehow disappeared.
PATIENT: Its like somebody coming in and ripping ripping out part of your life.
REPORTER: Unthinkable? Especially if it was intentionally. A federal jury says CedarsSinai Medical Center did just that. Theyve awarded a $10 million judgment against the
facility. The man at the center of it all is Australian doctor Sam Chachoua. His treatment of
cancer and AIDS is revolutionary. He uses infections like the flu.
[back to live]
MAHER: Okay, I want to ask about this, because theres a great show on HBO called
VICE, which Im a part of. And, they had a big episode on how they are now treating
cancer by shooting viruses into it. Is this the same thing youre talking about here, to treat
cancer by shooting a virus like AIDS or measles into it?
CHACHOUA: No. I make vaccines from organisms that have isolated. See, I I made my
lifes work to study a phenomenon called spontaneous remission. Happens one in a
million cases of cancer or AIDS or heart disease or MS, you name it. All of a sudden, a guy
wakes up and hes fine, the disease completely gone.
It turns out that there are infections that selectively infect disease and leave healthy cells
alone. I collected these for years. And, I was able to make vaccines from them. See,
imagine a measles or a mumps goes into your body. It doesnt like leukemia cells. It cant

grow well in them. So, it goes into the cell and uses its DNA-correction mechanisms to turn
the cancer cell back to a normal cell. This actually happens with certain strains of measles
and mumps.
I had isolated these organisms and made extracts out of them which can correct the
genetic blueprint. So, cancer isnt a war you fight with radiation and poison. Its a key you
put in, you turn. You dont kill the patient. You cure them.
MAHER: [overlapping] Well, Iyeah. So, you know, my one of my big issues with
western medicine, which also does amazingly great things, is that there is group-think
there. That, usually the people who discover something great are individuals Louis
Pasteur, right, Jenner arent these people who are always thinking out of the box and not
working for an institution?
CHACHOUA: You see, all these institutes, they want you to believe that they have a cure,
theyll have the answer, theyre working so hard on it. Nothing great has ever happened in
medicine from an institute. Like you said, Pasteur, the anthrax vaccine, Jenner the smallpox vaccine, Jonah Salk, polio. One person, one cure eradicates small-pox.
MAHER: Right. And, I must say, when I was watching the Dr. Oz thing, his doctor says at
one point and its like an intervention theyre trying to get him back on the traditional
AIDS cocktails and he says, Charlie knows he has been incredibly successful with the
antiviral cocktail. Its basically put you, Charlie, in a position to live an entirely normal life.
Normal life expectancy, normal quality of life.
Let me show you what was also on the show, Charlie talking about his normal quality of
life.
[CLIP SHOWN FROM DR. OZ WITH CHARLIE SHEEN]
CHARLIE SHEEN: I mean, well talk in depth at some point about, you know, what these
meds actually are. Its awesome what they what they do, but its also terrible what they
do, you know? And you can feel it. You can feel it, you know. From migraines to poo-poo
pants.
[back to live]
MAHER: Okay, poo-poo pants, I dont think, is a normal life. And, Im guessing that your
treatment does not include poo-poo pants as a
CHACHOUA: [overlapping] Its a horrible its a horrible way to live. All these side-effects
disappeared the minute he started my therapy. And, the minute he started my therapy, his
liver went to normal levels. Even the charts they held up on the Oz show, all the great
tests they showed, they were during my treatment, not theirs.
MAHER: Okay, so, just tell me what your critics would say. I mean, people are going to
watch this and say I know youve been called a quack a million times; theyre going to
attack me just for having you on and one of the criticisms you always hear about
alternative is, Well, it lasts for some time, but then it regresses. Does this last?
I mean, Charlie did say it stayed, in the beginning.
CHACHOUA: Yeah, of course it lasts. These vaccines I mean, I love America, but and
its the greatest country in the world; its not the only country in the world, though.

MAHER: So, youre a Republican.

CHACHOUA: Ha. When when the doors began to close because of UCLA and Cedars,
when I couldnt apply to your FDA because they denied my work, I had my vaccines
registered in other countries. And, these countries have experienced amazing results. In
Comoros, for example
MAHER: [overlapping] Where?
CHACHOUA: [overlapping]Comoros, a small island nation, 750,000 people, great
beachesyou go there and youll find youll find that, as of 2006, they sent me a letter
because they used my vaccines eradicated a disease called chikungunya, which is kind
of like the ZIKA.
MAHER: Oh, yeah.
CHACHOUA: And, what they also eradicated: HIV, as of 2006. They sent me a letter
thanking them from getting rid of HIV. This isnt a vaccine made in my garage. Its
MAHER: [overlapping] No, I mean, look, I saw some of the footage of you and Charlie in
Mexico, and he talked about this on Dr. Oz. You took Charlies blood, when he was HIV+
and injected it into yourself. And, Dr. Oz says, That is very inappropriate. What I thought
was, thats confident.
So, you dont have you injected Charlie Sheens tiger blood into you, and you are
neither HIV+ nor a tiger now?
CHACHOUA: No, III saw a very sad person in a very sad place, and I really wanted to
give him a boost that there was real hope out there, there was a way of curing him. And I
did that. It was spontaneous. But, you know, Oz is right. It would be crazy for him to do that.
Because, Oz doesnt have a real AIDS treatment. I do.
MAHER: Right.
CHACHOUA: It would be crazyit would be crazy for Oz. Hes not vaccinated. I am.
MAHER: And, I dont want to get into this too deeply, but I know there have been attempts
on your life. Is that true?
CHACHOUA: Yes.
MAHER: Car bomb?
CHACHOUA: Yes.
MAHER: Okay, soso, this has hurt your health a bit. What is your wish for when youre
gone?
CHACHOUA: Jesus, thats a bit morbid. It would have to have something to do with J-Lo.
Butbut, this this really is my wish: to be here telling whats your audience, 4 million
3 million, 4 million? Intelligent people.
MAHER: [overlapping] Oh, over four. Dont fuckinsell me short, Doc.
CHACHOUA: [overlapping] The ten million people who are watching the show right now

MAHER: [overlapping] I willokay, thats right, yes.

CHACHOUA: [overlapping]are going to know the truth, the reality. There is a cure out
there. Theres a therapy that is so much better than conventional, without side-effects. It
was tested and published by your biggest institutes. Why isnt it available?
MAHER: Yeah.
CHACHOUA: Ive used it in countries. Ive cured countries. And, the only thing is, now its
out there. That was my wish, Bill, and thank God for giving it to me.
MAHER: Thank you, Sam. I appreciate you coming on. Dr. Sam Chachoua! All right, lets
meet our panel. [Maher joins the panel]
Okay. Here they are. He is Americas number-one progressive radio host, and New York
Times bestselling author of The Crash of 2016: The Plot to Destroy America and What We
Can Do to Stop It. Thom Hartmann, great to have you back, Thom.
THOM HARTMANN: Great to be here with you, Bill. Thank you.
MAHER: She is a columnist for the Washington Examiner, and Republican pollster, and one
of our favorite guests: Kristen Soltis Anderson back here with us. How you doin?
KRISTEN SOLTIS ANDERSON: [overlapping] Thanks for having me.
MAHER: And, a new one a newcomer for our show. Hes the former U.S. Representative
from Florida who is currently writing a book about the inner working of Congress, to be
released next year. Trey Radel! Trey, great to have you here.
TREY RADEL: Thank you. Thank you.
MAHER: All right, remember to send us your questions for tonights Overtime, so we can
answer them after the show on YouTube. I also want to say, two weeks ago, I was
celebrating my birthday here on the show, and I asked the people out there if they would
sign our petition to get Obama to come on our show. You guys really came through. I
appreciate it. I thank you so much.
We went over the 100,000 mark, which is when they have to respond, in, like, 38 hours. So,
thats that saved me so much time standing in front of Whole Foods with that petition.
So, okay, now, Im sure people are expecting us to talk about the debate. Im not going to. It
was last night. I think Trump was a genius for skipping it, because its gotten to that place
that TV series get where weve seen it all before, and its boring. My only takeaway was,
you Republicans are so dumb; Megyn Kelly should be your candidate. Shes so much
better than the stiffs on the stage.
So, let me ask another question: Iowa. Iowa should really take one for the team and stop
being the first primary, because they are not representative of the country. The people are
not even really voting. And, they never pick a winner. And theyre too religious.
RADEL: Certainly.
MAHER: You agree with that?

RADEL: Theres some sort of a joke to be made about going to the most vanilla, white area
of the country and having the Republican Party, of all parties, go and have their first primary
there. I certainly would like to see it I might be partial but, in my home state of Florida,
where we represent a huge, huge diversity of Republicans. On the southeast coast,
Miami/Ft. Lauderdale, you have fiscal conservative, socially liberal. And the further north
you go in Florida, the further south you get. You do have the social conservatives.
MAHER: The Redneck Riviera.
RADEL: There you go. And in our area
MAHER: [overlapping] Ive been there many times, yes.
RADEL: [overlapping]fiscal conservatives, social conservatives, a lot with the libertarian
streak like me. I think that it would be better representative of the Republican Party.
MAHER: [overlapping] Or California would be a great state.
RADEL: [overlapping] Or California, yeah, for all four Republicans that are here.
MAHER: Yeah.
HARTMANN: California is the great state.
MAHER: Right.
HARTMANN: Because there is so much diversity in California. Its essentially four different
states.
MAHER: [overlapping] And, so many people.
HARTMANN: Yes.
MAHER: Okay. So, let me read what Marco Rubio said. He said, We are clearly called in
the Bible to adhere to our civil authorities. But, that conflicts with our requirements to
adhere to Gods rules. So, when those two come into conflict, Gods rules always win. No!
Thats what ISIS believes! Gods rules dont win in America. Am I right?
RADEL: [overlapping] Oh, that was
ANDERSON: This was what happened with the whole Kim Davis drama in Kentucky-MAHER: [overlapping] Yes, Kim Davis, sure.
ANDERSON: [overlapping]where shes working for the government. And, I think,
particularly if you are in a position where you are working for the government, then you
absolutely need to put your responsibility to uphold the law first.
I think what you see now and why youve got you know, if you watched the debate last
night, you saw there were lots of folks kind of talking about their religion its because, as
you noted, Iowa is a very evangelical state. But, I would note that the last two times Iowa
has chosen a Republican candidate, they have not gone on to either become the
Republican nominee nor the president.

So, incentives matter. Iowa used to have a straw poll, the Ames Straw Poll, where
everybody would come and theyd have all this barbecue and put on all this food
MAHER: [overlapping] Michelle Bachmann won it.
ANDERSON: [overlapping]and Michelle Bachmann won. And they said, Were not doing
this anymore. And, so I think and, so I think if if Iowa
MAHER: [overlapping] Right.
ANDERSON: [overlapping]picks somebody for a third time around on the Republican
side who does not ultimately wind up becoming the nominee, I can see folks at the GOP
establishment, if they still exist after the Trump tornado comes through, saying, Maybe we
need to re-figure out our whole primary process.
RADEL: Yeah.
HARTMANN: On the other hand, you have Bernie Sanders who is doing very well in Iowa
right now...who, in the New York Times today came out and said, I dont practice a
religion.
MAHER: Ive been waiting my whole life for a politician to say that.
HARTMANN: Yeah.
MAHER: And
HARTMANN: [overlapping] Thomas Jefferson was the last one, I think.
MAHER: [overlapping] Right. He said, Im not into organized religion. And, it just shows,
whether Bernie wins or not, he really has changed this country. And, not changed it; the
country had been changed. And, hes showing that, yeah, theres a large part of America
that kind of wants to be a western European democracy. Socialist, not a bad word; saying
youre not into religion, not a deal breaker. Theyre out there.
HARTMANN: And, it doesnt even need to be western European. In the 1950s, this
Eisenhower never talked like this, and he was a good Republican.
MAHER: [overlapping] Right.
HARTMANN: [overlapping] And he loved that 91% tax rate. And, you know, he built the
country. I mean, he[voices overlap]
ANDERSON: [overlapping] People are still you know, Gallup does this poll where they
ask people if somebody was well-qualified to be president, but they were fill in the blank
would you be comfortable voting for them? And, Jewish, evangelical Christian,
Catholic, female, those all wind up polling pretty well. Its Muslim, atheist and
socialist that always wind up at the bottom of the list.
MAHER: [overlapping] Yeah, but
ANDERSON: [overlapping] Now, the trend lines have been moving. People are more
comfortable than they used to be
MAHER: [overlapping] Yes.

ANDERSON: [overlapping]but those are still the most sort of politically-challenging labels
to have.
MAHER: But, its down to 51% wouldnt vote for an atheist. And, ten years ago, it was 61%.
So
HARTMANN: [overlapping] Yeah, its moving fast.
MAHER: [overlapping]right. And still, Ted Cruz said, Im a Christian first, American
second, conservative third, and Republican fourth. I would number that differently. I think,
youre a creep firsta practiced liar, second
And, you know, Bernie Sanders could just not say, Im a Jew first. That just wouldnt fly.
And, imagine saying, Im a Muslim first.
RADEL: Keith Ellison out of Minnesota.
MAHER: Right.
RADEL: Could you even imagine if he did that, the Republican reaction to this.
MAHER: However, I mentioned this in the monologue, the covering up of the statues in
Rome. Can we show what the statues actually look like? [slide of Roman statues shown]
This is the horribleness of whats going on in Rome. Oh, my God, naked titties and tiny
penises.
This is what they did. [slide of statues covered by box-like structures] Look at this is what
they did. Okay, I think people are mixing up two things: tolerance and capitulation.
[audience member says, Amen] Thank you.
This isits one thing to be tolerant of another culture, but this is our culture. You know,
Christianity did have a problem with titties, like, in 1300, but we got over it.
So, we shouldnt change our culture to to a more backward culture, should we?
ANDERSON: Well, and and, the French, in this situation, actually, you mentioned in the
monologue, how there was a dispute over wine at the lunch, they canceled the lunch. They
said, If youre in France, were going to have wine at this lunch, or were not going to have
lunch.
HARTMANN: [overlapping] Oh, with regard to breasts, ask John Ashcroft about that.
RADEL: [overlapping] Ah, thats a great point.
HARTMANN: [overlapping] This is not a Muslim problem.
MAHER: [overlapping] Yeah, it is.
HARTMANN: [overlapping] This is a fundamentalist problem.
MAHER: [overlapping] You know what? Except
HARTMANN: [overlapping] John Ashcroft is a fundamentalist Christian.

MAHER: [overlapping]except when it happened in this country, the liberals laughed at

him and they opposed him. I wish they would have the same enthusiasm for intolerance
elsewhere in the world as they do for Christians here at home who really arent a problem
because they dont really get their way. Its laughable.
HARTMANN: [overlapping] Except for the fact but, except that he covered that for four
years.
MAHER: But, nobody nobody thought it was realistic. Nobody
HARTMANN: [overlapping] I think a lot of Republicans were, like, Oh, yeah.
MAHER: [overlapping] Well, what do you what do you
RADEL: [overlapping] Titties gone!
HARTMANN: Yeah.
MAHER: [overlapping]what do you think about the fact we mentioned this a couple of
weeks ago, but we didnt really get into it in too much depth, in Cologne, Germany, where
there are now many immigrants from Syria, they had a big problem on New Years Eve,
because a lot of the women were being raped and groped. And, the reaction of the Cologne
mayor, who I think now was made to resign over this, said, Well, maybe women should
just stay three feet away.
RADEL: Or cover themselves completely.
MAHER: [overlapping] Or cover
RADEL: [overlapping] This is ridiculous.
MAHER: It is.
RADEL: I lived in Rome, Italy, for a year, many years ago when I was a student. Ive seen
the statue of David, all of his glory, including his package not that impressive, by the way
what about if we gothe next time we show up in entourage to Iran, are they going to
be I want them decked out in muscle tee shirts with with those eighties shorts with the
American flag all over them. Are they going to do that for us? No.
MAHER: Yeah. I mean, I think, liberals have to stop insisting that the world is a way they
want it to be instead of the way it is. Theres a folksinger and an idiot named James
Twymanhe is going to give a concert in ISIS-held Syria. [slide shown] There it is: Oregon
musician claims hell stop ISIS with with peace songs at Syrianconcert.
He calls himself a peace troubadour. Hes going over there with a Christian, a Jew and a
Muslim to sing. Cut to him in a firepit.
HARTMANN: [overlapping] Yeah.
RADEL: [overlapping] Dying.
HARTMANN: [overlapping] Yeah, its

MAHER: [overlapping] Alligators gnawing at his nuts. And, I relate this for two reasons.
One, to say, James, dont go. And, two, to say, you know, again, you cannot just insist that
the reality that you think about in your head is the reality that exists in the world.
After the San Bernardino attacks, we were off the next week, but, I heard all over TV, this
everybody was saying, You know, if only Americans knew more about Islam, they wouldnt
be so afraid. Actually, its the reverse.
RADEL: Yeah.
MAHER: Im sorry to say it, but the more you know, the more you would be afraid.
HARTMANN: And this is this is where I mean, hes hes trying to do this: Im going to
do a show and its going to change everything. But, there are groups on the ground like
Muslims For Progressive Values, that are that have chapters all over the world that are
that are working for LGBT rights
MAHER: [overlapping] Right. Oh yeah.
HARTMANN: [overlapping]who are working for womens equality. I mean, this is this
hard work that needs to be done.
MAHER: [overlapping] And we have to we have to stand with them.
HARTMANN: Absolutely.
MAHER: We have to be on their side.
HARTMANN: Absolutely.
MAHER: Not on the people who say, Islamophobe, who just help the enablers.
RADEL: We would certainly like to see mainstream media cover this more often, though,
too, because all we see is on the left, its, you know, the crazy hippie uncle all about peace
and love, and that what we but, on the right, all we see is were going to go over there
and were going to bomb the shit out of them.
MAHER: Right.
RADEL: Were going to separate them from society. We want nothing to do with them.
Theres got to be a happy medium.
MAHER: Well, thats your party. Well, it is.
ANDERSON: Thisthis is going to cause a real political challenge over in Europe. So, in
the U.S., we are better at assimilation than Europe is. Europe does not have the same kind
of tradition. Were not perfect at it here, but theyre not as good in Europe. And, so, when
folks come there and they bring their culture, when they come from places where real war
on women stuff is happening, theres less of the influence
MAHER: [overlapping] Right.
ANDERSON: [overlapping]of the overall society thats there saying, No, youre going to
be more like us. And youre seeing that tension break out. And, so youve got these far-farright leaders who now have the ability in these European elections

MAHER: [overlapping] Of course.

ANDERSON: [overlapping]where its not just two parties, where they
MAHER: [overlapping] Sweden, one of the most liberal places in the world
ANDERSON: [overlapping]have parliamentary systems they can
MAHER: [overlapping]announced this week, theyre sending 80,000 refugees back. They
have a little buyers remorse.
RADEL: One way to put it.
MAHER: Go ahead.
HARTMANN: Theyre also doing something in Sweden, and I believe in Norway as well,
that is actually, I think, quite useful. And that is, when new people come in, number one,
theyre taught the language. Number two, theyre taught the culture. And, you know, I think
back to all the years that Ive been debating right-wingers whove been, like, you know,
Immigrants have to learn English first! And, you know, it actually makes a certain amount
of sense.
MAHER: Yes.
HARTMANN: Do you want to be able to function in a society; you want to be able to buy
bread at the store. You want, you knowit seems like the first step in any country, including
in the United States and were starting to do this now in our public schools, but we need
to do it more extensively is to bring when people come in from another culture, to say,
you know, Your culture is fine, but heres our culture.
MAHER: Well, it isnt fine. And, I just hope that the civics guidebook in Sweden is more
persuasive than the Quran, but I doubt it is. And if youve ever read the Quran, it has one
central message: The Quran is the greatest book in the world. This book youre reading
right now is fuckin awesome.
HARTMANN: Same as the Bible.
MAHER: Except
RADEL: [overlapping] Better than The Art of the Deal by Trump?
MAHER: [overlapping]let me just take
RADEL: [overlapping] No way.
MAHER: [overlapping]let me just take one more crack at saving James Twymans life.
Heres his quoteWhenwhen people come to
RADEL: [overlapping] This poor guy!
MAHER: [overlapping]this poor guy is going to be dead.
RADEL: [overlapping] Hes going to die.

MAHER: [overlapping] If he doesnt listen to me.

RADEL: [overlapping] That is
MAHER: [overlapping] He said, When people come together and focus on something in a
positive way, theres scientific evidence that it can change things for the better. Okay, this
moron thinks hes going to sing Puff, The Magic Dragonin front of ISIS and live to tell
the story.
RADEL: [overlapping] With a knife through his throat.
MAHER: [overlapping] Please, James, get out of there NOW! All right, so, speaking of
religion, I justI wanted to mention that how many have seen Bernie Sanders ad that he
put on, with Simon and Garfunkel singing America?
ANDERSON: Yeah.
MAHER: Its pretty powerful stuff. I couldnt help thinking maybe he did that because Simon
and Garfunkel are pretty famously Jewish. And, you know, hes hes got a problem,
perhaps, in a state like Iowa and hes in it to win it with the fact that, as we were saying,
not very diverse. Not many Jewish people there.
So, Bernie, we got hold of the ad that he made just for the people of Iowa
RADEL: [overlapping] Skynyrd.
MAHER: [overlapping]to try to help with this problem. Run that, if you would.
[CLIP SHOWN: MOCK BERNIE SANDERS CAMPAIGN AD]
BERNIE SANDERS: Hello, Iowa. I am Bernie Sanders. Everywhere I go across this great
state, Im asked the same questions over and over: Can a Jew really be president? Have
you come to take my baby? And, Are you Rumpelstiltskin?
To these people, I say, You might be surprised at the number of Jews youre already
comfortable with. [slides of named celebrities are shown] Rachael Ray is a Jew. And so are
Jake Gyllenhaal, Kate Hudson, Jack Black and Ralph Lauren. Joaquin Phoenix and Lenny
Kravitz are Jews, as is Gwyneth Paltrow and sexy, but accessible Paul Rudd.
The Harry Potter kid is a Jew. Both Ironman and The Piano Man are Jews. And Shia
LaBoeuf. A mess, but still a Jew.
Did you enjoy Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman having sex in the movie Black Swan? Lets
call that what it is: hot Jew-on-Jew action.
Chelsea Handler, Elizabeth Banks, Gene Simmons, Jennifer Connelly, Scarlett Johanson:
Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew. And, I havent even mentioned O.J. [slide of O.J. Simpson] No,
not that O.J. O.J. Obvious Jews. [slides of Einstein and Woody Allen]
So, please, consider voting for me. Im Bernie Sanders, andyou could do worse.
MAHER: All right, he is the writer-director of the Anchorman movies and Talladega
Nights and everything else in comedy. His new, Oscar-nominated film is The Big Short.
Adam McKay is over here! Adam! [McKay joins the panel]

ADAM McKAY: Sir. Thank you for having me back.

MAHER: You are always welcome here.
McKAY: Oh, thank you.
MAHER: And, you are not Jewish, right, Adam?
McKAY: I am not Jewish.
MAHER: [overlapping] Look at that. A
McKAY: [overlapping] Although, my wife is Jewish and my daughters are Jews.
MAHER: [overlapping]see.
McKAY: [overlapping] Oh, yeah.
MAHER: [overlapping] All right, all right. So, Adam
McKAY: [overlapping] Yes.
MAHER: [overlapping]sit, first of all.
McKAY: Thank you.
MAHER: Second of all, congratulations. Your movie, The Big Short, up for five Oscars,
including, Best Director, Best Picture.
McKAY: Thank you.
MAHER: [overlapping] Youyes. I mean, youre known for lots of, like, just super funny
stuff. And, now, it seems like youre having your Annie Hall moment.
McKAY: [he laughs]
MAHER: You are moving into that place where youre doing movies that are seriously good
andyoure close to not being funny at all. No, Im kidding.
McKAY: [overlapping] Ohoh, no. Thats terrible.
MAHER: [overlapping] No, this is its its a great entertainment, this movie.
McKAY: Oh, thank you. Thank you.
MAHER: And, yes, no, it is. And, you make something that is very hard to understand very
accessible. That is your gift.
McKAY: Thank you. Thank you.
MAHER: All right, moving on.
McKAY: That was the praise part of the program, yes.

MAHER: [overlapping] There are there are so many hate-able people in the movie,
because it is about Wall Street.
McKAY: Yes.
MAHER: But, you know who I hated the most? The ratings agencies.
McKAY: Yeah.
MAHER: Because, you know, when the ump is corrupt, thats almost worse, dont you
think?
McKAY: Yeah, I think the ratings agencies were, like, really flagrantly out of bounds. I
thought it was, like, crazy that they were just taking money from these banks, AAA-stamp,
all fine, and it really, like the Europeans, especially, really believed our ratings agencies.
MAHER: [overlapping] Yeah.
McKAY: [overlapping] I mean, they really
MAHER: [overlapping] Yeah, they would be the first people I would put into jail, would be
the ratings agency people.
McKAY: The CDO companies were pretty bad, too. Like
MAHER: [overlapping] Theyre everybodys bad.
McKAY: [overlapping]yeah, yeah.
MAHER: [overlapping] Yeah.
McKAY: [overlapping] Theres a lot of them.
MAHER: Its lucky you had a very charismatic cast to play all these assholes.
McKAY: Yeah.
MAHER: But, it also struck me watching it that it was kind of amazing that that only these
one or two guys saw this coming. Because, when you look at it in retrospect, its kind of like
what Dr. Sam was saying about, you know, why didnt anybody else see this? Really?
Nobody else except a couple of smart guys could see that this was a sham, that we were
building this on a house of cards?
McKAY: Itsits crazy. I mean, you look at the housing numbers. They are flat for, like, 90
years. Like, they are like this. And then all of a sudden, they go WHAM! And, like, we were
all like, Hey, this is a great tune. Like, I love that movie. Like, vines have come out. Like, it
was incredible. And, yeah, no one else saw it.
And, like, you know, Christian Bales character in the movie is really amazing. Hes a guy
whos on the spectrum, loved heavy metal, and sat in his office all day long just reading
numbers. And he saw it four or five years before anyone else. And, it really raises the
question about American culture and our 24-hour sort of information cycle
MAHER: [overlapping] right.

McKAY: [overlapping]how broken is it? You know, what are we really being told about
climate change, about banking, about income inequality. And, thats why I loved the movie.
It wasnt just about banking, but its about what are we being told, what do we need to
know.
Dont get me wrong. I love hearing about, you know, how Kawhi Leonard for the Spurs has
been playing great defense. God bless him. But but, there needs to be a shift that needs
to happen in our culture. And, thats why I love the movie, yeah.
MAHER: The character you are referencing there, Christian Bale, the real one in life is now
only focused on investing in water. What does that tell us?
McKAY: [he laughs]
MAHER: What does that tell Flint, Michigan?
McKAY: We should be terrified.
MAHER: Right.
McKAY: Yeah, when water comes into question. I mean, you think about, like, 1890, if you
said, like, Water, theyd be, like, What are you talking about?
MAHER: Right.
McKAY: Thats like sweat.
MAHER: Yeah, it falls from the sky.
McKAY: Thats like the sky, yeah.
MAHER: Yeah, we collect it.
McKAY: Yeah.
MAHER: But, I mean, Flint, Michigan, is not the only place with water problems. I mean,
rusty pipes? Because America because of the Republicanswont spend on improving
infrastructure, Im sure those are not the only lead-laden pipes in this country. Ohio is
having problems.
McKAY: Ohio is now on board. I saw that, yeah.
MAHER: [overlapping] Right, yeah.
McKAY: [overlapping] I mean, the Flint, Michigan, thing is really, like, typical. And, if you
look at Kansas, whats gone on with, like Brownback just cutting taxes and
MAHER: [overlapping] The governor, yeah.
McKAY: [overlapping]and, losing their highway system.
MAHER: [overlapping] Right.

McKAY: Their, you know, educational system is dipping. You look at Walker in Wisconsin
cutting all these taxes. They have this beautiful state, you know, university system that is
just dipping. I mean, this is the Republican sort of recipe, is that the hell with everything,
you want one billionaire on top of a mountain whos like playing with army men in his room.
And, everything is great, you know.
MAHER: Andwellfar be it from me to bash the Republicans.
McKAY: [overlapping] Iand believe me
MAHER: [overlapping] Excuse me, Im going to recuse me on my
McKAY: [overlapping]bank bank reform is a right-left issue. It really is.
MAHER: [overlapping]thats true. Absolutely.
McKAY: But, yeah, yeah.
MAHER: But, you know, we kind of have our own Flint, Michigan, going on right here.
Because, there is methane gas Im sure our audience knows about this that is leaking
into the sky and has been for a month, and will be for another couple of months, tons of it
every day. Theres a leak from this methane well.
And, heres what the California Environmental Health Hazard Assessment says, word for
word: Overall, the available air sample data does not indicate that an acute health hazard
exists. Thats not good enough for me. An acute health hazard.
McKAY: [he laughs]
MAHER: And, I really wonder if they would even tell us. Because, if they told us it was bad
for us, what are they going to do? How are they going to evacuate a city of 15 million?
McKAY: I also think, like, they cant really assess macro health threats, like, do you find it
disturbing that that may destroy mankind? Or, is it just, like, the next week we wont cough?
MAHER: [overlapping] I find it disturbing
McKAY: [overlapping] Like, as far as, like
MAHER: [overlapping]it may destroy my gall bladder, first.
McKAY: [overlapping]yeah, yeah.
MAHER: [overlapping] I mean, I love mankind. But, me some more. All right. So, you
brought up Republicans. Im going to now question a Republican. And, I appreciate you
being here, as I do any Republican. But, youre from Florida. You mentioned Florida. And,
Florida does basically not let black people vote.
In Florida and I said and, youre out of Congress I mean, Im not Im not trying to
insult you, but you got caught with some of the booger sugar. I mean
RADEL: [overlapping] Thats one way to put it, I think, yeah, yeah.
MAHER: [overlapping]right, and, look, Im certainly a libertarian on drugs.

RADEL: [overlapping] Sure.

MAHER: You know, I think whatever you like
RADEL: [overlapping] Yeah, so
MAHER: [overlapping]you off that shit now?
RADEL: [overlapping]so, you knowyes, II made a really terrible, terrible, terrible
decision
MAHER: [overlapping] All right, all right.
RADEL: [overlapping]I did it and you move on.
MAHER: [overlapping] Okay, all right, you dont have to do that for me.
RADEL: [overlapping] Well, look
MAHER: [overlapping] Our audience is okay with the booger sugar. All right, but anyway

McKAY: [overlapping] Or a really funny decision. A really fun, fun decision.

MAHER: [overlapping]but, you I think what people objected toyes, a funny decision.
McKAY: [overlapping] Or you had a great night.
RADEL: First rule of Fight Club: Dont buy cocaine from a federal agent.
MAHER: [overlapping] Yeah, I meanright.
RADEL: Im just saying.
MAHER: Andand, whos kidding who? Drugs are popular for a reason. Theyre fun. Okay.
But, you do
RADEL: [overlapping] Oh, boy, here we go.
MAHER: [overlapping]you did vote for drug testing-RADEL: [overlapping] Did I? Tell me what I voted for.
MAHER: [overlapping]food stamp food stamp recipients.
RADEL: Did I?
McKAY: Oh, boy.
MAHER: Well, thats what I read in every newspaper.
RADEL: Thats what the headline said. So
MAHER: [overlapping] Okay.

RADEL: [overlapping]a real quick explanation on that.

MAHER: [overlapping] Okay.
RADEL: [overlapping] I would have never ever, ever taken a vote, a stand-alone vote to
drug test food stamp recipients.
MAHER: [overlapping] Okay.
RADEL: [overlapping] What I voted on
MAHER: [overlapping] Oh, it was okay, all right
RADEL: [overlapping]was a massive a farm bill
MAHER: [overlapping]again
RADEL: [overlapping]and, within it was a provision that was put in by both Democrats
and Republicans
MAHER: [overlapping] But but, look, all right
RADEL: [overlapping]I would have never voted on it. I was vocal against the war on
drugs.
MAHER: [overlapping]but but, Florida
RADEL: [overlapping] Sure.
MAHER: [overlapping]dont like black people. I mean
RADEL: Come on, man.
MAHER: [overlapping]wait. Felons there cant vote. In Florida, 31% of otherwise eligible
black men are permanently disenfranchised. Jesse Jackson calls it taxation without
representation. I think thats accurate. Thats a third, almost, of
HARTMANN: [overlapping] Hes hes absolutely right. And and, by the way, with regard
to black people voting in Florida, talk to Katherine Harris. I mean, we had an election stolen
because
MAHER: [overlapping] Right.
HARTMANN: [overlapping]both Katherine Harris and Jeb Bush knocked 90,000 African
Americans off the polls.
MAHER: Jeb Bush, who was a pot dealer in college, his daughter did cocaine. I dont know
if he does cocaine. But, he certainly served Florida to his brother on a silver platter.
McKAY: From the way hes debating, I think hes on ludes, but
MAHER: No, thats Ben Carson.

HARTMANN: But, Im in favor of the Vermont solution, the you know, the Bernie Sanders
Vermont solution: in Vermont, you can vote from your jail cell.
MAHER: Right. Felons can
HARTMANN: [overlapping] Because you are still a citizen of the United States.
McKAY: [overlapping] Wow, wow.
MAHER: Right.
ANDERSON: I think another thing thats important to point out is that you have a lot of
things that are considered felonies that maybe shouldnt be. In California, last election, you
had folks from both sides of the aisle Newt Gingrich and Jay Z agreeing on a bill,
agreeing on a proposition that passed with 60% of the vote, I think, to change a lot of nonviolent felonies into misdemeanors. It wound up letting a lot of people out of jail. And, it
means for the rest of your life, you dont have to check that box that says that youre a
felon.
HARTMANN: Yeah.
ANDERSON: You dont have that label attached to you, for committing a crime where you
didnt hurt anyone else.
MAHER: But, shouldnt that change in Florida?
RADEL: Yes, look, this is all part of the decades ago, the bipartisan war on drugs, we
were locking up non-violent offenders and disproportionately affecting minority communities
throughout the country. There has to be criminal justice reform. And thats where the
libertarians
ANDERSON: [overlapping] And, look, and you say that Republicans are all evil on this, but
you watched that debate and you said it was boring. The one thing that was new in that
episode was Rand Paul had a really great moment
McKAY: [overlapping] Yep.
ANDERSON: [overlapping]had a really great moment where
MAHER: [overlapping] Yes.
ANDERSON: [overlapping]when he was asked about what happened in Ferguson
MAHER: [overlapping] Sure.
ANDERSON: [overlapping]and he came out I mean, hes one of those candidates that
the Trump tornado has sort of pushed aside he had an opportunity to shine last night with
this answer that I think
MAHER: [overlapping] I love that were actually referring to it as an episode.
ANDERSON: [overlapping] I was going along with what you said. [voices overlap]
MAHER: [overlapping] Dont tell me how it ends. I taped it!

HARTMANN: [overlapping] There is one giant there is one giant caveat in this whole
Republican
McKAY: [overlapping] Can I can I say one thing about the voter restriction thing?
MAHER: [overlapping] Yes. Please, sir.
McKAY: [overlapping] Like, to me this is one of the craziest issues in America. Like, the
idea that we dont let people vote, the idea that, like, you have to show I.D. even though
you were born in our country. Like, my grandfathers fought in World War II, like, to not let
this happen. And, that one party, the Republicans, would be behind this, is, like, amazing to
me.
MAHER: [overlapping] But, the but, the Roberts court has ruled that racism is an urban
myth.
HARTMANN: Thats true. Problem solved.
MAHER: [overlapping] Doesnt exist anymore.
HARTMANN: [overlapping] Thats true. Problem solved.
MAHER: [overlapping] Right. Yeah.
McKAY: But, its crazy to me, like, that were even talking about this is, like, insane.
MAHER: All right, lets talk about something else then. Well, we have yes, sir?
HARTMANN: If I could, just with regard to criminal justice reform, beforebeware of
Republicans talking about criminal justice reform, because its now coming out that theres
a couple of very large, very wealthy billionaire industrialists who are pushing a criminal
justice reform proposition that includes drug reform, but it also includes making it much,
much harder to prosecute white-collar criminals.
MAHER: Okay. So, heres my idea of a feel-good story this week. If youve been following
whats been going on recently with Planned Parenthood, there were some sting videos
made some months back. Right-wingers who dont like abortion went into Planned
Parenthood and were basically saying -- and were heard it repeated by all Republican
politicians to this day, all over TV that they were selling body parts, because theyre Igor
and Dr. Frankenstein, theyre selling body parts.
So, in 12 states, this was investigated. Not only was this bullshit that thats what was
happening, but listen to this in Texas, the judge is going to put the other people in jail!
Not Planned Parenthood. The people who made the video, because they were fraudulent,
they were faked, and they were bullshit.
This is like in dodgeball, remember, where you throw the ball and the guy catches it and
then throws it and hits you in the nuts?
So, how about a hand for Texas getting one right. Texas! Of all places! Texas.
McKAY: I just love that you just said, How about a hand for Texas?
MAHER: [overlapping] Well, really

McKAY: [overlapping] I think that should be frozen. Thats a meme.

MAHER: [overlapping]well, yeah, but thats I mean, but, maybe things are changing in
America. This was a conservative judge, pro-life judge, and he did the right thing. He does
deserve a hand.
ANDERSON: Well, in this case, the indictment wasnt for making videos. The indictment
was actually for purchasing human body parts. So, you have some folks on the right in the
pro-life movement who are saying, How do you purchase body parts if no one is selling
them? And, so the thought is that, look, this is an indictment; its not a conviction, lets let
this play out.
HARTMANN: [overlapping] And we know, its for trying to purchase them. If you walk up to
a federal agent and offer to commit a crime, thats a crime. And these guys were offering to
commit crimes. I mean, this
MAHER: [overlapping] Right.
HARTMANN: [overlapping]they were trying to
MAHER: [overlapping]youre a pollster. What is your theory why Donald Trump is liked by
a majority of Republican women? Because, youd think he blew it with women: the Megyn
Kelly thing and all the statements hes made, and, you know, the three wives and
ANDERSON: [overlapping] I come to this question with a lot of humility, because the last
time I was on this show, I was a Trump denier. And, you had it right, and he was only at 4%
in the polls
MAHER: [overlapping] No, no, hes
ANDERSON: [overlapping]and, the moment that I it was my wake-up call, that this was
real and this was this is happening is when he fought Fox and won the first time. He
has an appeal that is just different. He plays by a completely different set of rules
MAHER: [overlapping] Absolutely.
ANDERSON: [overlapping]than most politicians than any politician does.
MAHER: [overlapping] Its a
ANDERSON: [overlapping] And, so there are lots of people that say, I dont care that hes
offensive, I dont care that he says these things about women, I dont care that he says
these things about minorities; hes a winner and hes strong. And, until somebody attacks
that part of his persona
Other people have been saying, Oh, hes not conservative, or hes kind of a jerk.
Nobody cares about that. Trump supporters dont care about that. They care about the fact
that hes a winner. And a lot of these women, particularly older Republican women who
really like him, they think hes a winner, hes going to finally make America start winning
again.
MAHER: And, confidence. Dont women like confidence above all?
McKAY: Ill be honest with you, Im a man

ANDERSON: [overlapping] Hm-mmm.

MAHER: [overlapping] No, what? Youre all groaning at that like I just made that up? Oh,
no!
ANDERSON: No, Im but, Donald Trump does well
McKAY: [overlapping] Im a man. Im a man.
MAHER: [overlapping] Donald Trump doesnt have confidence?
ANDERSON: [overlapping] No, I
McKAY: [overlapping] Ill be honest. I find him very sexy. He.shes out there. He doesnt
care.
MAHER: Right.
McKAY: [overlapping] Theres, like, a sort of beefy
MAHER: [overlapping] Right.
McKAY: [overlapping]ox heart to him.
MAHER: [overlapping] I mean
McKAY: [overlapping] That hair is insane. Hes just likehe doesnt say anything. Im drawn
to him. Im totally heterosexual.
MAHER: [overlapping] Well
McKAY: [overlapping] I would I would spend a night with him. I really would.
MAHER: [overlapping]thats that is quite an endorsement, Adam.
RADEL: [overlapping] Arent we seeing Bill, whether its Bernie or Donald Trump, I think
that todays society, were going from its not what you say, its how they feel.
MAHER: [overlapping] Exactly. Right.
RADEL: [overlapping] And people are pissed. People are angry.
MAHER: Right.
RADEL: And I think were getting a lot of it from the rise of Bernie on the left and Donald
Trump on the right.
MAHER: [overlapping] But, also, Im
RADEL: [overlapping] Again, Im not talking policy here.
MAHER: [overlapping]I just want to say that for years people have been asking the
question, Why do women like assholes? Why are they attracted to the asshole? Because
the asshole has confidence, thats why.

McKAY: Trump is
MAHER: [overlapping] Theyd rather have an asshole with confidence than a shy guy who
doesnt tell them theyre beautiful, I think.
McKAY: Can we also say, the oldest game in the book is that when theres economic
trouble and people dont understand the economic
MAHER: [overlapping] Well, thats yes. Sure, sure.
McKAY: [overlapping]dynamics behind it, guys like this rise. So, I mean, thats really
whats going on, is people are pissed.
MAHER: [overlapping] All right. Thank you, panel. Time for New Rules, everybody. Oh, and
you have to go.
McKAY: I have to go.
MAHER: Great to see you. Great movie.
McKAY: [overlapping] Thank you so much.
MAHER: [overlapping] Good luck at the Oscars.
McKAY: Always a pleasure. Thank you, guys. [he leaves]
MAHER: [overlapping] Okay. All right, New Rules, everybody!
New Rule: Ted Cruz has to stop doing the Pledge of Allegiance with his hand in his jacket.
Its an oath, not a breast exam. Its like he loves America so much, hes going to second
base.
New Rule: Now that the city of Whitesboro, New York[slide of Whitesboro logo]is
finally getting rid of its culturally-insensitive logo of a white settler choking a Native
American[reactions]
RADEL: [overlapping] Oh, my gosh.
MAHER: [overlapping]is there anything you would like to say, Aisle 7 at the grocery
store? [slides of Uncle Bens rice, Aunt Jemimas syrup, Cream of Wheat package logo]
New Rule: Woodford Reserve has to stop bragging that their bourbon has 200 distinct
flavors. People dont drink bourbon to taste subtle hints of marzipan, pear and nutmeg.
They drink it to forget that their life peaked in high school.
New Rule: Cauliflower must admit it is really broccoli just trying to get an Oscar nomination.
New Rule: Now that McDonalds all-day breakfast menu has boosted their sales by almost
six percent, they must start calling it what it really is: the All-Day Stoners Menu. You can
always tell the stoners at the drive-through. When theyre told to drive around, they spend
the next few hours driving around. Theyre just so
And, finally, New Rule: We can all stop asking the question, why isnt our government
functioning? Why? Because truth is dead and the Internet killed it.

Now, remember back in the early nineties when we read about this new thing called the
Internet that could put the totality of world knowledge right at our fingertips. And, then
someone discovered it could deliver free porn and we quickly had something else at
our fingertips.
Butbut, bare breasts on the net are not the problem. At least some of those are real. The
problem is that somewhere along the line, the information superhighway became bullshit
boulevard, and truth was roadkill.
Now, of course the world has always had a lot of gullible people who will buy anything.
Have you been to Salt Lake City? But, at least Americans used to get their news from
actual news organizations. Now, they get it from chain emails and chat rooms and
Facebook posts written by lunatics and sadists.
Before the Internet, you only had to put up with your right-wing uncle on Thanksgiving.
Now, hes forwarding you proof, 24/7, that Hillary led the Benghazi attacks and Obama was
Bill Cosbys pharmacist.
The street corner nut with the sandwich board used to be laughed at. Now, hes linked to.
And, thats whats so great about Facebook: youre not telling lies, youre just sharing
them.
And, anyway, lies are the new truth. Yes, more than ever, people today are living an entirely
fact-free lifestyle. Which is great news for the Republican candidates, because when they
are confronted on their lies now, they just say, Oh, I see what youre doing by factchecking me. I just dont care, because my fans dont care.
A couple of years ago, we did a piece here where I introduced the term Zombie Lies,
which are Republican talking points that cannot be killed, despite being disproven time and
time again. Things like voter fraud being rampant or tax cuts paying for themselves, or
Lindsey Graham just hasnt met the right girl.
But, in a very short time, Republicans have gone beyond even the Zombie Lie tojust
making shit up.
[slide: Ted Cruz] Ted Cruz says, The federal government is going after school districts,
trying to force them to let boys shower with little girls. [reactions from audience]
[slide: Carly Fiorina] Carly Fiorina is one of a new breed of politicians who claim to see
things that arent there. She said, she watched a Planned Parenthood video of quote a
fully-formed fetus on the table, its heart beating, its legs kicking, while someone says, We
have to keep it alive to harvest its brain.
But, that video doesnt exist, unless you subscribe to Nut-flix!
[slide: Donald Trump] And, of course, Donald Trump said he saw thousands of American
Muslims cheering after the 9/11 attacks. It never happened. But, Trump doesnt deny it. He
owns it. He doubles down. Hes like Pinocchio, except when he tells a lie, his balls grow
bigger. [slide morphs with sound effect as Trumps balls swell]
Sofolks, this is new. Really, listen to hear me now and believe me later this is new,
that liars have stopped caring if they get caught. Bill Clinton had to get all weasel-y when
he got caught. But, in todays world, hed just say, Nope, Ive never even heard of a blow
job. That woman sucking my penis right nowI was bitten by a snake; shes getting the
venom out.

Ive got to admit, this tactic never even occurred to me. I kind of wish it had. It might have
it might have been useful. Like, in 1989, I did a movie called Cannibal Women in the
Avocado Jungle of Death. [slide of poster]
[CLIP SHOWN: MAHER IN CANNIBAL WOMEN IN THE AVOCADO JUNGLE OF
DEATH]
MAHER IN FILM: Hey, whats up, Doc? Hey, whatoh, my God, youre marinating me!
[back to live]
MAHER: Its on film. I cant deny it! But, if I was a Republican, you could show it on a loop,
and I would just say, I dont know what youre talking about. I I played Maverick in Top
Gun.
Hashtag: #AllLiesMatter.
All right, thats our show. Ill be at the Schnitzer in Portland, February 13th, the Paramount
in Seattle, March 27th, and the Comerica in Phoenix, April 10th.
I want to thank Trey Radel, Kristen Soltis Anderson, Thom Hartmann, Andrew McKay and
Dr. Sam Chachoua.
Join us now for Overtime on YouTube.
Thank you, folks!
[ROLL END CREDITS]
*
OVERTIME on YouTube
BILL MAHER: We here on Overtime. Thom Hartmann, will you support Hillary Clinton,
should she get the Democratic nomination?
THOM HARTMANN: In a heartbeat.
MAHER: Of course.
HARTMANN: Absolutely.
MAHER: Right.
HARTMANN: Yeah.
MAHER: Yeah.
HARTMANN: Yes.
MAHER: And, youll tell your listeners

HARTMANN: I I tell my listeners that every day.

MAHER: [overlapping] Right, I keep I said it, too. I said, Eat the chicken.
HARTMANN: Yeah.
MAHER: You know, fish may be your first choice, but eat the chicken.
HARTMANN: Its not even that shes not terrible. I mean, shes really good in a lot of ways.
MAHER: Yes.
HARTMANN: Shes just not, in my opinion, shes not as really good as Bernie is.
MAHER: I think were on the same page on that. Andbut, you know, lets also remember
a lot of the reason is that she has been demonized for 30 years. Nobody gets beat on like
Hillary Clinton. She really does have a Kick Me sign on her back. So
HARTMANN: Well, the Republicans taped it there.
MAHER: Yeah. Democrats arent too nice to her, either.
TREY RADEL: No.
MAHER: I mean, theres just something about her that people want to just take a shot. All
right. Kristen, did Donald Trump make a mistake by skipping last nights debate?
KRISTEN SOLTIS ANDERSON: Well find out in three days. I think the problem is that, you
know, first of all, the ratings for his rally were only a quarter of what the debate got.
MAHER: But, it wasnt a
ANDERSON: [overlapping] So, butbut, really
MAHER: [overlapping]apples
ANDERSON: [overlapping]if you in the debate, there was this moment when Megyn
Kelly did the old, like, Tim Russert move from Meet the Press, where he pulled old clips
and quotes from people and say, Hey, you said all these things. Whats going on? By not
being there, Donald Trump avoided having what would have inevitably been
MAHER: [overlapping] Absolutely.
ANDERSON: [overlapping]like, a ridiculous montage.
MAHER: And, also, can I can I tell you I think what he also knew instinctively, because
hes a media person, a television person, is that this show has gotten boring. I mean, when
I started to watch the part about the immigration debate between Cruz and Rubio, I was,
like, wow, Ive seen this five or six times, this exact debate, and I know what comes next:
its Chris Christie coming in. I know his line: Hey, this is whats wrong with Washington!
Elect me, a fat governor!

ANDERSON: [overlapping] Im sorry, Im interrupting your debate on the Senate floor!

Like[she laughs]
MAHER: [overlapping] Right, I meanwhen the thats what they call jumping the shark.
ANDERSON: [overlapping] Well, and if if you look at Donald Trumps poll numbers,
theyve gone pretty consistently up. Theres only twice that theyve dipped, and its after
debates where Donald Trump wasnt the big headline, where he was just one guy on a
stage.
MAHER: Right.
ANDERSON: So, he knows that by being just one guy on a stage, thatsbored people is
the biggest enemy of him.
MAHER: Right. HesI keep calling him the natural. Hes a natural politician.
RADEL: Yeah.
MAHER: Hes right not to
HARTMANN: [overlapping] You know what?
MAHER: [overlapping]have advisors.
ANDERSON: [overlapping] Well, he gets entertainment in a way that politicians just dont.
HARTMANN: You know, back in the twenties, Oswald Spengler said that you know when a
civilization is in decline when when its leadership and its structure becomes a caricature
of itself. Here we are.
MAHER: Okay. Trey, what kind of revelations will you disclose in your forthcoming book
about your time in Congress? Ooh, good question. What are we going to be in store for
there?
RADEL: Paul Ryan is a secret Muslim, number one. No, no. The beard, the beard! Wait,
no. I will show actually how things can get done in Congress, and how some Republicans
and Democrats are working together. But, I also want to show one example would be the
influence of money or lack thereof.
So, for example, with the gun control debate, people are, like, Oh my gosh, the NRA, the
own Congress. The reality is this: a $5,000 check to your campaign from the NRA means
nothing. It means nothing. Five grand is what somebody wipes their butt with in a morning
of fundraising in Washington, D.C.
The reality is that the NRA has a large membership and those members are people who
vote, et cetera.
But, these are some of the subjects Ill get into, how legislation has become like a big turd
sandwich. The omnibus bill which is 3,000 pages
MAHER: [overlapping] A very scatological book you have. Very, very ass-oriented book.
RADEL: [overlapping] Andthere you go. How money may or may not influence

MAHER: Okay.
RADEL: See, Im still writing it. I need to pull it together.
MAHER: All right, yes, I would cut take that out. How worried should we be about the
spread of the ZIKA virus? Well, here in I mean, its a mosquito-borne virus. One thing Ive
always loved about Southern California: no mosquitoes.
RADEL: Yeah.
MAHER: Ive Ive never been bitten by a mosquito.
ANDERSON: Florida, where were from
RADEL: [overlapping] Yeah. Uh-oh.
MAHER: [overlapping] Has lots of mosquitoes.
RADEL: Yes.
HARTMANN: Yeah. [voices overlap] Heres a particular irony. The big problem with this
virus is it causes horrible birth defects.
MAHER: Horrible.
HARTMANN: The state and and the state that has the highest population of the Aedes
Aegypti mosquito that carries it is Louisiana, where theyre aggressively trying to stop
Planned Parenthood from passing out birth control.
MAHER: Wow.
HARTMANN: I mean, its almost like, you know
MAHER: [overlapping] Right.
HARTMANN: [overlapping]karma, or, you know, God talking to us, or something. Well,
you know, our imaginary friend in the sky. You know what Im talking about.
MAHER: Those are both bullshit.
HARTMANN: Yeah. Yeah. Youre right.
MAHER: [overlapping] Okay, I take your point. What are the chances that a third-party
candidate like Michael Bloomberg, who was talking this week about maybe entering the
race, will enter?
RADEL: Bloomberg will destroy Democrats. I mean, this becomes
MAHER: [overlapping] Right.
RADEL: [overlapping]he will destroyI, again
MAHER: [overlapping] Hell split the same vote.

RADEL: [overlapping]yes, the area that I live in tends to have sort of moderate, very
fiscal conservative Republicans who might be considered someone who would support
Bloomberg. Bloomberg has now just been sort of relegated to this nanny state, liberal, hide
your Big Gulp sodas, hide your guns and hide your cigarettes, because hes going to come
and take care of everything.
MAHER: Okay, I mean, thats a little of his resume. But, other than that, 25 years ago, he
would be a down-the-line Republican who could be the nominee. I mean, hes fiscally
conservative, a law-and-order guy
RADEL: [overlapping] A bit of a neocon.
MAHER: [overlapping]a bit of a neocon, strong on Israel. I mean, theres a lot of him
thats old-school Republican.
ANDERSON: [overlapping] Imagine an election, though, where you have either Hillary
Clinton or Bernie Sanders, you have somebody on the Republican side whos not Donald
Trump, and then you have both a Donald Trump and a Bloomberg independent run.
Then you start having an election that looks more like those European countries, where,
instead of trying to keep everybody into these two very overly-large buckets, in a way, you
have four different choices that represent very different things that different voter blocs
MAHER: [overlapping] Lets have Trump and Bernie Wall Street and Denmark lets see
who wins. Lets have it out!
Thank you, panel. You were great. You were a great audience. I appreciate you coming
here! See you next week