Acclaim for Unbound Intelligence

Unbound Intelligence is a compelling, thought provoking book

that weaves thousands of years of civilization into a beautiful
tapestry of ideas and concepts, telling a story which embodies
the most fundamental questions we all seek.
Shakti Chionis, www.365daymiracles.com

Expect to be inspired and get closer to who you truly are. I

resonate with the authors philosophy of true knowing from that
deep place within versus the intellectual knowing that we can
gather from scientific or philosophical texts, and agree that nature
is a powerful ally to knowing our true self. If youre looking for
a book to stimulate your mind and awaken your soulthis is it.
Tova Payne, Author of Eat Think & Live Rich:
A Guide to Health and Happiness, www.tovapayne.com

Dr. Kurapati has brilliantly bound the threads of the timeless

spiritual traditions, the theories of science, and the nature of
biology in Unbound Intelligence; to unravel the confusion and offer
a common clarifying thread that can unite us all by discovering
the God within, so that we may live boundlessly.
Matt Schweppe, CEO of Integral Productions
Co-Creator of Equanimity Partners

I very much enjoyed Unbound Intelligence. I found it to give a

unique perspective. It is very insightful. It sparked in me new
ways to think about things than I previously had. I think this
book appeals to a diverse group of readers.
Sally Jordan, COO and CFO of Healthpoint Family Clinic
The writing itself is rich yet fluid, astounding in its complexity
yet simple to grasp. It is almost immediately clear that this work
is as much an emotional endeavor as it is an intellectual one and
so we are constantly learning whilst relating to the experience. If
you are searching for answers and are yet to find any that satisfy
your need or curiosity, I highly recommend Unbound Intelligence.
Siobhan Harmer,
Lifehack.org Contributor

Unbound Intelligence by Rajeev Kurapati is a thought-provoking

insight into what it means to be both intelligent and deeply
spiritual, which can often be a difficult combination as much
about spirituality cannot be calculated, tested, or proven.
Madeleine Dee, Executive Chef, actress, and writer
NoPlaceLikeHomeLouisville.com

The author offers a series of reflections on love, religion,

marriage and the scriptures of various faiths. In each, he
questions convention, offering rhetorical queries such as: If we
all believe in a transcendent, formless ideal and speak of universal
brotherhoodwhy is it that we denounce all religions except our
own? The authors untethered style of inquiry respects tradition
but is not restrained by it. For the adventurous reader, Unbound
Intelligence offers insights into several weighty matters of human
concern.
BlueInk Reviews
Unbound Intelligence
A Personal Guide to Self-Discovery

Rajeev Kurapati, MD
Copyrighted Material

Unbound Intelligence: A Personal Guide to Self-Discovery

Pranova Publishing
Copyright 2014 Rajeev Kurapati
All Rights Reserved.

No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any form or by any means
without written permission from the author. Unauthorized duplication is
prohibited.

ISBN 13: 978-0-9911712-1-7

Cover design: Rakesh Ala; illustration by Yana Fefelova

The purpose of our life is to be useful. Happiness is
a byproduct of such an act.
Rajeev Kurapati
Contents

Part I: The End of Delusion, the Dawn of Enlightenment

Chapter One, Why the Book?
Chapter Two, The Day My World Changed

Part II: Lifes Driving Forces

Chapter Three, God: What is God?
Chapter Four, Love: Will I Ever Know Unconditional Love?
Chapter Five, Universe: What is This Place, and Why am I Here?

Part III: Timeless Traditions

Chapter Six, Religion: What is the Truth Behind Faith?
Chapter Seven, Rituals: Are There Steps to Truth?
Chapter Eight, Scripture: What if I Cant Find Answers in the
Holy Texts?
Chapter Nine, Marriage: Is Marriage the Key to Happiness?
Chapter Ten, Way of Life: How Did We Become Trapped in a
Cage of Our Own Making?

Part IV: The Power of the Mind

Chapter Eleven, The Mind: Who is My Mind?
Chapter Twelve, Survival: How Do I Ease the Dissonance of
Death?
Chapter Thirteen, Perception: Is the World Merely What I
Perceive It to Be?
Chapter Fourteen, Permanence: Going Beyond the Mind
Chapter Fifteen, The Purpose

Acknowledgments
About the Author
References for Unbound Intelligence
 Part I

The End of Delusion, the Dawn of

Enlightenment
You have been waiting
waiting all of your life for that consummate moment. Waiting
to become that someone, that person who is liberated from the
ordinary, disenchanted by lifes many inconsistencies.
You dont want to fear life,
but in the face of adversity, it is nearly impossible to stay content.
For the most part, life appears to be more of a predicament than
a fulfilling experience, a mix of fleeting contradictionslove
and hate, hope and sorrow, anger and elation.
You constantly search, hoping that the next milestone will
bring with it that sense of completion. But as the growing
achievements leave you discontented, the state of happiness
you seek seems more and more like a torturous mystery. People
become dissatisfiednever finding an identifiable cause of such
restlessness. Some blame genetics, others point toward social
struggles, but the fact is that suffering remains. Its hard not to
wonder: Is the ladder to happiness one of infinite rungs?
On this path to bliss, most of us ponder the basic questions:
What is my true purpose in life? Will I ever experience unconditional love?
What is this place we call the universe, and why am I here? How do I ease
the dissonance of death? Is the world merely what I perceive it to be?
We continue to seek the answers, hoping that someone,
somewhere will enlighten us.
 Chapter One

Why the Book?

 Is the ladder to happiness one of infinite rungs?

The worlds major religions provide us with many explanations

about why we remain dissatisfied. We accept any doctrine or
tradition that promises answers, and we adhere to it with fierce
conviction, allowing beliefs to register as matters of fact: That
man is imperfect because he has sinned or that human suffering
is the result of misdeeds from our past liveswhat goes around
comes around and so on. The centuries roll on and new doctrines
are created, new religions in the name of God are born, but our
problems remain more or less the same.
When faith fails to adequately offer people a sense of security
and purpose, we look to science for guidance. Many have stuck
to scientific explanations all along. But we cant ignore that
methodical study has definitive limitations. While science may
teach us about the physical worldmatter, processes, functions
of the mind and bodyit tells us little about why there is so
much suffering.
As the world becomes a melting pot of various belief systems
and scientific theories, all of which promise to provide comfort,
we are left confused and divided. The questions remain: Where do
I find the answers to the fundamental questions of human suffering? How
do I put together the fragments of myself to create one complete whole?
This is where the book comes in.
This book will impart to you how to look at yourself and
the world around you through a clear lens, devoid of outside
influences. It will serve as a guide for navigating your true
desireswhat it is that you really want in life, how you should go
about getting it, and, ultimately, what lifes greater purpose is for
you. Throughout these pages, I will take you on a journey that
explores what makes us who we are, alongside a brief history of
all that weve become.
Each one of us is the product of an entire existencethe
universe contributing to our survival. We are the legacy of past
traditions carried on across generationsessentially making us
the almanac that offers the answers weve been searching for.
Along the way, you will realize that weas individuals and
collectivelyare the key to the quintessential questions of
mankind. The series of inquiries and reflections that follow
intend to illuminate some of the misconceptions and misguided
ways of thinking that cause people dissatisfaction and suffering.
Writing this book has been a meditative process for me,
one that established discipline in my daily routine. Id wake up
every morning at 4 AM and submerge myself in inquiryideas
flowing through me onto paper. At times, I felt as if a guiding
hand was leading me to write. I felt like the book was meant to
be written, and I was merely an instrument to communicate the
message. The ideas already existed, they just needed a medium
through which to be expressed.
This is how it all started

Chapter Two

The Day My World Changed

 Within the question lies the seed to its answer, for
without questions, there are no answers.

Mom, I dont want you to go. Please, dont leave us.

My patients sobbing son is crying out to his dying mother.
His mom, a 55-year-old woman, is plagued with a cancer that is
defeating modern medicines attempt to combat the disease.
Mom, youre the strength in my life, he weeps. Please, please
dont go, he pleads with vigor, as if his passionate appeal will be
answered if only he begs hard enough.
The cancer has stolen the mothers womanly beauty and
elegant dignity. Her bald scalp, which has no more than a
few strands of thin hair left on it, drips with sweat as she
occasionally opens her dry, chapped mouth to gasp for air. She
inhales as hard as her tumor-laden lungs will allow, and with each
exhale it is as if we can feel the life exiting her frail body. Her
son ignores the smell of death and the seemingly filthy state of
her body as he hugs her as tightly as he possibly can. His sister,
unable to make it to the hospital, listens to the painful sounds of
her mothers final breaths over the phone.
 With one last desperate petition, the son yells, Mom, please
dont go.
In a faint, diminishing voice, my patient breathes the last
words her children will ever hear their mother say, Dears, I am
going
Imagine watching the worst day of a persons life
the most heartbreaking moment they will ever experience as it
unfolds right before your eyes, and being utterly helpless.
That was me as my dying patients son begged, Please, do
something.
But there was nothing that I or anyone else could do. His
mother was gone. This experience left me thinking deeply about
the life within us. Later that day, after the intense emotions
and sorrow waned, a question sprung from deep within my
consciousness. I wondered, What is it that dies?
Almost every part of our body periodically dies and is then
regenerated as fast as it perished. Cells within our body die every
day, but this death goes unrecognized, as the cells are simply
renewed again. But when total death ultimately strikes, all ability
to regenerate comes to a sudden halt. What is the exact factor that
causes a vibrant human body to lose its ability to regenerate, leaving it to
become a mere motionless corpse? What is this force keeping the delicate
teeter between life and death in balance? These were the questions I
needed to ask, but it took me until this experience to pinpoint
what I needed to know.
As an adolescent, I was unable to articulate what I was looking
for. I would spend the bulk of my youth searching aimlessly
for that intangible something. After years and years of reading
the texts of great prophets and listening to the gospels that I
believed were supposed to provide me with the answers to lifes
fundamental questions, I realized that I had been searching in all
the wrong places, asking myself all of the wrong questions.
For once, I didnt reach for the books of scripture, famous
philosophies, or medical literature. That day, I allowed my mind
to dwell deep within itself to search for answers. This became
a practice of inquiry that I would rely on from that moment
forward.
It all began more than 30 years ago.
While growing up in India, I routinely accompanied my
parents and grandparents to temples. Over time, I developed
a profound fascination with the many epics and myths I heard
theretales that had been passed on from generation to
generation. As a young boy, I was enthralled by the consummate
orators, known for their enthusiastic delivery and the dramatics
of their recitations of Indian scriptures. At the time, the whole
ordeal of attending religious shrines was more intellectually
entertaining and emotionally appealing than anything else. But
it didnt take long for me to develop an unwavering passion for
interpreting the deeper meaning behind the seemingly matter-of-
fact scriptural messages.
I was uneasy about blindly accepting those gospels as
factseven as a child.
Although, Ill admit, I never protested or rejected them. Like
many children of parents who are active participants in religious
traditions, I simply did what I was told to do. I sincerely
memorized the gospels and recited the hymns.
But all the while I was questioning who it was that I was
really praying to.
 Over time, this discomfort with mere memorization and the
practice of accepting prevailing philosophies without question
became unendurable. I realized that the great books were filled
with actual experiences and revelations of prophetsGautama
Buddhas claim to have discovered the end of suffering,
Jesus inviting us to the kingdom of Heaven, and Indian
prophets describing their experience of liberation. Rather
than just reading about the experiences of those prophets or
unquestionably believing in those ideals,
I needed to know what they knew.
As I became an adult and a doctor-in-the-making, I submerged
myself in the aspects of the human bodyamassing as much
knowledge as I could about how the body operates. All along,
while attempting to establish myself in medicine and focusing
on only the worldly facets of existence, another side of me
needed to go beyond the facts of biology. I was ready to find
answers to the more transcendent nature of life.
The two sides of my identity, the rational and the spiritual,
were parallel characters and, at times, were in complete opposition
with one another. Unlike my study of the human body, which
required endless memorization of seemingly indisputable facts,
I couldnt satisfy my spiritual pursuit by mechanically reciting
hymns.
Performing rituals seemed more like a distraction than
an enlightening experience.
While trying to maintain balance between my work at the
hospital as a full-time doctor and my personal life, I spent every
ounce of available time looking for answers. After intense study
by way of drowning myself in any scriptural text I could get
my hands on, I realized that I was essentially reading the same
thing over and oversimilar ideals draped in different flavors
and languages.
Then, in one day, my life changed forever.
It wasnt until the fall of 2007, at the age of 31, that I
experienced a profound epiphany that can only be characterized
as illuminatingas if a switch was turned on and the darkness
suddenly disappeared.
Every day that the weather permitted, I made time to enjoy
a relaxing, long walk. On this particular day, I decided to rest
under a tree, perfectly adjacent to a small lake near our home,
deep within the woods. I had passed by this lake hundreds of
times before, but on this day, it was far more magnificent than
anything in nature I had ever seen. When I took the time to
gaze at the water, it dawned on me that so much life existed
here that I had failed to notice until now. The fish, plants, ducks,
birds, bees, and insects performed a coordinated routine, and I
watched as the tight-knit ecosystem danced before my eyes. This
marvelous cooperative enterprise was only a minute piece of an
even greater puzzle, a puzzle only complete with the help of
every facet of nature. From the sun and rain to the wind and soil,
each component is as vital as the next.
In this silence, I felt that I was in deep conversation with
every aspect of nature.
I was able to feel myself in communion with the gentle
tides, the fluttering leaves, the chirping birds, the golden sun
all were a part of me, and I a part of them. I was completely
free from the bounds of the person I was. For the first time, I
was liberated from the authority of time. This was a pinnacle
moment. No verbal expression could ever adequately describe
this magnanimity.
I felt a humbling privilege to be an observer of this incredible
display. So many individual entities within this lakes ecosystem,
each seemingly concerned with nothing more than its own
welfare, was systematically working to maintain the whole.
There was no authority governing this network, yet it seemed to
function in perfect harmony.
I realized then that it abided to the same cycle of life as all
nature: It was created and operating, but it was also doomed by
natures curse of mortality. Just like you and I, the life at the lake
was bound to the greater forces of nature and would one day
disappear.
I couldnt help but realize the similarities between the
lakes ecosystem and my own body, and this was perhaps my
most profound revelation. I saw my body for what it was: An
ever changing ecosystem with thousands of elements working
in unison. Each one endures an explicit origin, a period of
maintenance, and then an imminent disintegration. I realized that
this life cycle is a universal phenomenonwhether the simplest
cell or a gigantic star in a far off galaxyeverything is bound to
the same cycle of nature.
I felt as if another dimension in my consciousness, one that
had been dormant until this point, opened itself up, allowing me
to observe the life both within and around me.
I found myself asking:
What is the track on which each life form rides through these cycles?
Could it be possible that the life force within me thats responsible for
governing these cycles is the same force powering all existence?
For me, this was the consummate moment in my search for
that ingredient upon which my existence depended. With this
epiphany, I realized that just as I was able to watch the lakes
ecosystem in action, I had the ability to watch my own mind and
body work together as a magnificent team. This wasnt an out of
body experience, as I was in complete control of my being. This
wasnt an illusion of a wandering mind, either. This was, instead,
an introduction to the source within. But despite how powerful
this experience was, it was short-lived.
I tried to recapture the bliss I had experienced.
As quickly as the pure joy stormed in, it passed. Within a day,
I was back to my busy life, balancing the trials and tribulations
of work and home. My mind occupied itself once again with my
monotonous routine. I came to understand that this experience
at the lake was not an object of knowledge to be remembered,
but an experience to be lived. With this in mind, I began to visit
the lake again and sit in contemplation. I would sit in complete
absorption of the stillness of being in the bosom of nature
only then would I feel totally at ease.
While I was experiencing a new level of inner serenity, there
was still something that I needed to know.
What is the role of my intellect in this distinct experience?
With its prolific abilities, in the seventh grade my mind could
memorize and reproduce the entire Periodic Table to perfection
the atomic numbers, weight, and element name includedall
arranged in their proper place on the colorful grid. My mind
could remember and impeccably recite a 75-digit number front
to back, and then again back to front when challenged by a friend
in college. Yet despite my minds bountiful abilities, its content
my professional triumphs and challenges, my wonderful house
and family, the plans Id make for the weekendnone of it had
a place in my blissful state, not even the spiritual concepts I had
accumulated over the years.
All of the knowledge I had prided myself on knowing for so
long had absolutely no role in this profound period of contented
joy. In this state, I was free from all thoughts. In this period
of ultimate bliss, I wasnt distracted by doctrines I had been
conditioned by all of my life. This experience transcended all
means of symbolic expression. I wondered:
Is it possible that the content of my mind is actually
hindering me from experiencing such an epiphany?
Not long after my time at the lake, I came to realize that a
humans intellect, reason, and logic were only a few tools (albeit
important ones) in the expansive toolbox of our mind. These
qualities of mind are important, but only to a point. Once our
survival needs are met, it is our unique gifts of insight and
intuition regarding the sublime qualities of our existence that
offer meaning to life. If pursued earnestly, this awareness takes
us into an entirely new dimension, beyond the framework of our
conditioning.
From that point on, I embarked on a journey to learn the
nature of the human mind. I started examining all aspects of
my identity that cluttered my thoughts and acted as barriers to
knowing my core self. For the next three years, I spent
countless nights internalizing various sacred scriptures, modern
philosophies, and scientific theories. As I started actively taking
notes and recording my own brief revelations, this book,
Unbound Intelligence, was born.
 To write Unbound Intelligence, I picked the most significant
facets of human life: love, God, religion, faith, and various
social constructs. I analyzed how each of these influences affect
and inhabit our minds. By systematically inquiring into these
identity-defining traits, I was able to better understand reality.
For once in my life, I was able to see things for what they were,
not for how I had been conditioned to see them.
Through a process of intense negationstripping away
falsitiesI arrived at the core of my true being. The center
within me, my true self, declared itself. The foundation of my life
was shaken. Only by the creative destruction of my own identity
was I able to evolve into the whole person that I longed to be.
I arrived at this realization not by way of conviction imparted
by any particular religious or spiritual indoctrination,
I arrived by way of actual, personal experience.
From that moment on, instead of merely looking at the
sickness within the patients Ive encountered, Ive developed
a great respect for the life within every person. Ive found
that no matter how different the exteriors of our beings may
be, the force within us is one and the same. Along with the
advanced medical knowledge I offer my patients, a large dose of
compassion is now part of my prescription.
This revelation, enlightenment, or whatever you want to call
it was such a beautiful experience that I had to share it. I want
everyone to achieve such a state of liberation. I yearn for
everyone to experience that Unbound Intelligence within each
of us, hidden by our ego-based identity traits and a lifetime of
conditioning.
On this journey, Ive come to grasp as truths the meaning
behind the fundamental spiritual concepts of holy texts, not by
memorization of concepts, but through an internalization of
personal inquiry. All of the clichs of religions that I used to
pass off as utopian ideasenlightenment in Hinduism, salvation
in Abrahamic traditions, or awakening in Buddhismbecame
crystal clear to me.
It marked the end of self-delusion and the dawn of
self-realization.
Enlightenment, as it is popularly known, is often a state
placed on a pedestal, as if only great men and women can achieve
such revelations. Most of the time, our creative inquiry into the
transcendent is handicapped by the inertia left from past
generations. Goethe, the prolific, 17th century German poet
says it best, America, you have it better than our old continent.
You are not troubled by useless memories and vain strife. As
you read through this book, youll see how anyone with sincere
dedication can come to know the core reality of all life.
While you will gain great insight into the Truth within,
sustaining the epiphany requires disciplined practice until it
becomes your true nature. Only then is it unshakable. Once you
attain this state, all of your seeking will end. Your purpose, where
you fit in the puzzle of nature, will become clear. Youll see that
most religious texts arent merely gospels to be memorized, but
profound truths waiting to be experienced. Religious rituals
will regain meaning. Youll see why you do the things that
you do, and human tendencies will now appear strategic and
meaningful.
Through the eyes of a formalist, everything other than the
orthodox ideal appears wrong, including this book. I want
readers to, for at least a short time, imagine how it feels to think
without fear and past influences. This involves an altered way
of understanding, comprehending, and questioning, not based
on what you were told to think or believe. Pushing beyond the
comfort zone of accepted notions can open doors to a clearer
world that has been present all along. Dont be alarmed by this
prospect.
It will turn out to be one of the best things youve ever
done.
You probably cant help but wonder what faith helped bring
me to such an unequivocal clarity. While my upbringing was
deeply rooted in Eastern spirituality, my path to realization
transcended cultural and traditional boundaries. Weve been
conditioned to believe that understanding transcendent concepts
is a spiritual exercise, and if the work is not associated with an
established tradition, then it is not a valid practice. Try not to get
distracted by this misconceived presumption.
If you look at all of the prophets and philosophers who have
experienced enlightened revelation, youll see that they didnt do
so by accepting the status quo. As Shankaracharya describes in
his treatise, Vivekachudamani, Amassing scriptural knowledge
is useless so long as the highest truth is unknown, and it is
equally useless when the highest truth is already known. These
men and women found truth through a method of self-inquiry
it is for this very reason that spiritual texts like the Upanishads
are written in question-and-answer format.
Only by questioning the status quo will you experience
the real you.
This book does not intend to hand out ready-made answers,
nor does it set out to dazzle readers with linguistic distraction or
new, decisive theories. Through an emphasis on personal inquiry
and reflection, it intends to help readers avoid the trap, the
narrow confinement, of adopting doctrines or other closed
systems of belief. While it may increase your desire to study
science, for instance, if your only lens for looking at the world
is through theory, much will be lost. Likewise with any other
perspectiveintellectual, religious, or philosophicaleach
limits our ability to truly see that which is actually before us.
Within the questions lie the seeds to their answers, for
without questions, there are no answers.
 Part II

Lifes Driving Forces

We begin with three sublime forces guiding our being: God
the transcendent, abstract force that countless beliefs attempt
to define; lovethe force driving our relationships that we cant
seem to live without; and the universewhich we have defined
and redefined since the beginning of our days as we strive to
discern our place in this infinite arena. With these three distinct
facets, we characterize ourselves, our behavior, and the great
world around us.
 Chapter Three

God: What is God?

 God is a verb.
Richard Buckminster Fuller

Prophets and spiritual gurus proclaim happiness to be a

desireless state. To them, this state is a product of spiritual
liberation in which we are no longer burdened by our wants.

What we are seeking, though, is not necessarily a

desireless state, but a state in which all of our desires are
fulfilled.
Ive asked a handful of people from different walks of life
what happiness really means to them. The responses, across the
board, were fairly consistent. To many, happiness is reached by
obtaining something. Marrying that dream somebody, landing a
stable job, amassing wealth and power, and living healthy, happy
lives. While the details defining happiness varied, one factor
remained consistent across cultural and geographical
boundariesthat physical and psychological needs must be met.
Then I asked this same question of a few very accomplished
peoplepeople who most of us would consider to be successful,
who have lived a good life. I asked a well-respected doctor, a
successful businessperson, and a well-off, retired grandparent
what it means for them to be happy. Their responses were quite
interesting. These men and women appeared to have all of the
variables that would theoretically result in happiness according
to the first group I asked, yet still they were not completely
satisfied. These so-called successful individuals continued to
seek happiness just like everyone else. Whats more, they each
said something that the others hadnt even seemed to consider.
What they desired was happiness for its own sake, unlike the
happiness that occurs as the mere product of achieving tangible
accomplishments. They yearned for happiness that was not
dependent on extrinsic factors.
In life, one bitter fact runs consistently throughout all
circumstances we encounter:
All things that we associate with happiness will, at some
point, lead to disappointment.
Even the healthiest of relationships are transitory. The fact
is that one of the involved parties will eventually leavebe it
purposefully or by way of inevitable mortality. Because of this
fragile tether between happiness and disappointment, we seek
the only thing that holds the magic key to everlasting bliss:
Permanence.
Burdened with the reality that no earthly possession embodies
the everlasting, weve found comfort in an ideal that we lean on
heavily, a promise of ultimate happiness. We call it by various
namesHoly Spirit, the Divine, or the Almighty. When we
attempt to visualize our description of that which is timeless, a
personal God invariably emerges.
This topic isnt written to make you believe in God, nor is its
purpose to make you denounce Gods existence. But it is only
after inquiring into the nature of what it is we dearly revere as
timeless that we will come to know its truth.
For most of us, God occupies a distinguished position.
We are here on Earth, and God is up there, somewhere
higher, someplace better.
While this polarization between us and God is a widely
accepted means of idealizing the eternal, some traditions
proclaim that God is not found in the heavens, but within us.
People of Chinese faiths, for instance, believe that there is no
separation between Heaven and humans. As the tradition has it:
Heaven and humankind are merged in one.
With varying descriptions of God available, navigating
the overly complicated images of a higher power is no
simple task.
Human intellect is trying to grasp this obscure idea of God
by searching restlessly in countless scriptures and following
the guidance of spiritual gurus. To bring the idea of God into
our minds reach, our sages and saints developed mentally
conceivable characters, a conclusion of their own inquiry. Even
though Islam denounces giving a character to God, attributes
are still utilized to describe Him. The characters appearing in
scriptures have been given an infinite number of characterizations
meant to condition us with readymade descriptions of who and
what God is.
After we have accumulated these descriptors in an attempt
to grasp the ideal we call God, we work to experience it. This is
the very reason many of us regularly go to places of worship.
Prostrating before deities in Hindu temples, kneeling in the
mosques, and praying before the cross, we see that all worship is
merely the human minds attempt to realize the infinite.
Imagine God.
Chances are, you envisioned a gracious superhumanan
elderly man with flowing white hair and a white beard. This
image of God is ubiquitous even in those cultures where many
different versions of God are expressed. Why is this superpower
sitting in the sky considered by so many to be the universal character of
God?
First and foremost: Why up? This is because it has been
ingrained in us to consider the direction up as one that is
superior to down. Naturally, God is up in the serene sky, and
demons exist only in the dark underworlda belief that runs
across many religions as an analogy conceived by selectively
using reason and logic to justify our beliefs.
Second: Why a man? While many religious authorities
denounce giving a gender to the transcendent, the male version
of God is undeniably prevalent. Because we are unjustifiably
conditioned to believe that man is superior to all other creations,
including women, we tend to imagine God as male.
Third: Why old? Elderly individuals are considered the wisest
throughout almost all cultures. And, because the color white
is universally accepted to symbolize purity, our vision of God
often has attributes reflecting his pristine wisdom.
All faith-based traditions, from the East to the West and
from Judaism to Hinduism, have created their picture of God to
mirror their unique versions of the Almighty. When cultures
were geographically isolated in the ancient past, traditions were
separated and a very limited migration of ideas took place.
Now that the world is far more integrated, we are faced with an
overwhelming number of variations.
Which version of God is the Truth?
With many of these individualized depictions of God, is there
one right observation? The answer, or lack thereof, evokes
conflict and sparks a never-waning struggle to decide whose idea
of the Almighty holds the infinite Truth.
The ultimate meaning of what or who God is may be shared
across all faiths, but each religion strictly instructs their followers
to worship only its version of a higher powerAllah for
Muslims, Yahweh for Jews, Father in Heaven for Christians,
Ishvara for Hindus, and so on.
Prophets proclaimed that they themselves were God, or
Gods direct and only representative on Earth.
This adds an entirely new layer of complication in terms of
comprehensively defining the infinite. I am the way, Christ is
quoted as saying in the Christian Bible, in response to a disciple
who asked: Lord, we know not wither thou goest, then how can
we know the way? And Jesus replied, I am the way, the truth
and the life; no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
We find similar statements in other religions as well. Sri
Krishna says, Relinquishing all Dharmas take refuge in Me
alone, I will liberate thee from all sins, grieve not. Likewise, the
Quran declares, There is only one God and Muhammad is His
messenger.
Many of us believe in a higher power of some kind that exists
beneath the surface of our daily lives.
Where people differ is in the attributes they use to define
that power and the relationship between that power and
themselves.
To define our relationship with the higher power, again,
two basic conflicting ideals exist. The first is that this power is
merely a guiding agent, coordinating our lives from a great
distance away. The second is that the higher power is not an
external agent but is right here within each and every one of us.
As Richard Buckminster Fuller observes, God is a verb.
The sages and prophets whom we so devoutly idolize
dedicated their lives to discovering the key that would solve
our uncertain relationship with God. We see a recurring theme
running through all traditions and religions: To know God,
we must first recognize what we have immediate access to
ourselves. As Muhammad once said, He who knows himself,
knows God.
The Egyptians spiritual beliefs mirrored Muhammads
theory that God resides within. Egyptians concluded that man is
the microcosm of the universe, the macrocosm, and that within
man, depicted visually by a five-pointed star, is the divine essence
of the Creator. Within Egyptian texts youll find the instruction
to know thyself The kingdom of Heaven is found within
you; and whosoever shall know himself shall find it. The
importance of inner understanding is reflected in many
scriptures:
The kingdom of God is not coming with signs to be
observed, nor will they say, Lo, here it is! or There! for behold,
the kingdom of God is within you.
Christianity: Bible, Luke 17.20-21

For he who knows his own mind and sees intuitively his own
nature, he is a Hero, a Teacher of gods and men, Buddha.
Buddhism: Sutra of Hui-Neng 1
 The purpose of the one true God, exalted be His glory, in
revealing Himself unto men is to lay bare those gems that lie
hidden within the mine of their true and inmost selves.
Bahi Faith: Gleanings from the Writings of Bahullh

When you pursue your original mind, you should be able to

hear moral laws and see divinity in your minds eye. You should
be able to feel and touch the heart of God with your mind.
Unification Church: Sun Myung Moon 4-14-57

The eye cannot see him, nor words reveal him by the senses,
austerity, or works he is not known. When the mind is cleansed
by the grace of wisdom, he is seen by contemplationthe One
without parts.
Hinduism: Mundaka Upanishad 3.1.8

These quotes, mirroring similar sentiments throughout all

traditions, tell us that knowing what we call God is consistent
and undeniably linked to knowing ourselves. Attempts to
describe myriad of Gods attributes have sparked passionate
feuds across many cultures. Yet no conflict or contradictions
have developed from the assertion that self-inquiry is the key to
comprehending the Almighty.
Achieving enlightenment: Where do I begin?
The journey begins within. No matter your religious tradition,
your quest will not only begin within, it will end within as well.
Is it even possible to contemplate such an idea of knowing thyself? It
may seem like an enigma. When we look within, all we find is
emotions, feelings, desires, and fears. The challenge here exists
in watching our own minds.
 To know something, we use our minds internal faculties such
as intellect, experience, memory, and rationality. Understanding
our minds naturally involves the same tools. You might ask: How
can my mind watch itself?
Prophets, sages, and saints mastered the complex task
of watching their own minds in action.
They delved into their own consciousness to fully understand
their minds complexities. For some, it took decades; others
experienced the revelation instantaneously.
The end result is an enlightened state in which the divine
and the experiencer become onethe ending of duality.
This is the process of becoming conscious of your own true
self. This state of realization cannot be passed on to others like
material possessions or accumulated knowledge. It is neither a
craft nor a tradeit is a state of being. To attain this state, one
has to start not by amassing more knowledge, but by under-
standing all of the external interference that prevents us from
seeing our own true selves. Only then will one be able to see false
as false, and truth will shine on its own.
What role does mediation play in discovering our true
selves?
Once, after a workout at the local gym, I went into the sauna
and sat with my legs folded in silence, allowing my rapid heart
rate to decelerate, taking deep breaths in an attempt to become
completely relaxed. A 20-something-year-old guy entered the
room and sat directly across from me on the wooden bench.
Having noticed my relaxed position, he said, I should meditate
too. My mind is always racing with thoughts of work, my
girlfriend, school, and whatever else. Do you think you could
teach me how?
Before I could even utter a word, he had already busied
himself with texting away on his cell phone. It seemed to me that
meditation has become more of a romantic ideal than an actual
practice for which we carve out time.
The contemporary usage of meditation is characterized by
a preparation of the mindto gain its undivided attention.
Only when your mind is calm are you able to focus on any job
attentively, only then can you act without haste.
The mind, by its very nature, is generally unsteady.
Prophets and sages have developed ways to bring stability
to the ever-flickering mind. Effective calming strategies include
regulating breathing, keeping the body flexible and active by way
of exercising, healthy dieting, and restorative sleep. Keeping a
healthy lifestyle prepares your mind to attain a state of mental
equanimity.
Meditation is not meant to halt your thought process.
The very purpose of the mind is to constantly process
information. The ultimate purpose of meditation is to holistically
watch the mindto engage in a study of the minds entire
construct. Our conditioning burdens the mind with the inherited
legacy of the past. Meditation allows you to lift the veil of such
falsities and look beyond all but the true self.
Why do I need to spend so much effort and time to know
my real self ?
Whether consciously or subconsciously, we all seek an
everlasting bliss. We search for a fountain of eternal happiness
filled with peace and undying love. We look for it in many places
family, faith, careers, better social positions, and possessions.
Even when you have all the ingredients for a happy life, you are
still searching for something morethe missing link in the chain
of completeness.
Of all of the elements necessary to achieve a state of
contentment, knowing your true self is the most important. Once
you know your true selfcall it liberation or enlightenmentyou
will feel freed from the bondages of conditioning. Creativity will
flow through the barriers of class, culture, and ethnicity. Ideas of
God and religion will come and go, but as an enlightened person,
you will maintain mental poise. You will be filled with energetic
life, enjoying each momentno longer feeling victimized by
your circumstances, whatever they may be. No longer will you
worry about what others think or even if others recognize your
new, reveled state. You will develop clarity of thought and charity
of action. When you abide in this state of bliss, you will have
total awareness of who and what you areyou will embody
Unbound Intelligence.
Some readers may find themselves thinking: I have heard that
scriptures speak of knowing thyself. I read scriptures, attend lectures and
study groups, and visit many religious services. Still, the satisfaction I get
from this is temporary. Why?
You can spend your entire life searching for love, God, Truth,
and reality, but unless you first find your true self, all of these
efforts will be in vain. Your mind is the instrument of thought
that has been conditioned to think in a particular way. It is
forever hindering your ability to go beneath the surface and
discover what is beyond that which is immediately perceivable.
If your lens is clouded, you cant see clearly. Prepare your mind
to look deeper than your fragmented self, only then will you
open the gates to discovering what is true and, perhaps more
importantly, what is not.
When reflecting upon the nature of our true selves,
many questions may arise:
What is the true self and where can I find it? Is it in the love toward
my family and friends? Is it in my faith? Is it in my wealth? Is it by
accumulating knowledge that I come to know my true self? Is it through my
relationship to the world around me that I get to know my real self? What
is my real nature? Is it the role I playbe it as a parent, son, daughter,
brother, sister, friend, boss, subordinate, or believer in a particular faith? Is
my true self my cultural identity?
To recognize our true selves is to know the entire nature of
the human experience and all of its many trials and tribulations
religion and secularism, friendship and betrayal, hope and
despair, love and hatred. Without knowing ourselves, our time is
occupied by struggling to find a balance between these polarities.
After we come to know our real selves and see things as they
arevoid of ideologies and philosophieswe cut ourselves
loose from the burdensome chains of these contradictions.
 Chapter Four

Love: Will I Ever Know

Unconditional Love?
Faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest
of these is love.
Saint Paul

The ancient Greeks used to host philosophical get-togethers

attended by some of the most renowned thought-leaders in
history. One of the most infamous discussions, The Symposium,
was transcribed in great detail by the prolific philosopher Plato,
who moderated the nights discussion on the nature, purpose,
and evolution of love. The attendees were each required to take
the floor to describe their thoughts on the emotionally complex
topic.
The fourth speaker of the night, Aristophanes, was said to
have painted quite a dramatic picture of the reason people so
passionately seek a mate. His theory was that primitive humans
were descendants from the moon and were androgynoushalf
male, half female. These sexually ambiguous beings set out to
climb to the heavens to be one with the gods. As punishment,
Zeus, the god of all gods, chopped each person in half, separating
the bodies into two separate beings. From then on, people would
spend their lives looking for their other halfattempting to
recover their primal nature. While the tale may be a quixotic
interpretation of mutual attraction, it shows that love, in all its
glory and despair, has captured our imaginations and dominated
our conversations since time immemorial.

For many people, love is the most important thing in

their lives.

This is exemplified throughout both ancient and modern

literature. In his book, The Psychology of Love, American psycho-
logist Robert Sternberg explains, Without it, people feel as
though their lives are incomplete. Similarly, Faith, hope, and
love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love, says
Saint Paul in a letter defining love to the Corinthians. He goes on
to say, Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things. Additionally, the poet Robert Frost expresses,
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
While spiritual gurus proclaim that love is the ultimate
ground of all life, some philosophers and literary masters are
unsympathetic in their expression of the sentiment: Love is
a serious mental disease, says Plato. The author Oscar Wild
calls love an illusion. John Dryden, an influential British poet,
describes love as a malady without a cure.
What is this love that captivates the imaginations of so manysages,
prophets, philosophers, scientists, and you and me alike? Is love merely a
physiological response that is born somewhere in our brains, or is it something
more, something deeper and enduring?
To love and be loved is a fundamental and involuntary
yearning.
But despite our obsession with this lureand the affection,
passion, and rejection that often accompanies itscholars and
scientists struggle to this day to define what it is.
Our day-to-day connotation of love embodies a deeply
passionate yet enigmatic feeling toward another person.
Hippocrates proposed in 450 B.C. that emotions emanate from
the brain and, since the dawn of scientific inquiry, researches
have feverishly searched for the seat of love within the human
brain. The science of biology describes love, matter-of-factly, as
an emotion of evolutionary significance, a result of chemicals
transmitting across neurons.
The type of love we experience is dependent on two factors:
(1) The phase of our life in which we find ourselves, and (2)
the type of relationship at hand. This might be a romantic love
between partners; a nurturing, parental love; or an affectionate
love between friends. But no matter how we categorize the many
facets of love, true love is always described as deeply unconditional.
Love is the kind of magic that people believe in.
From the moment puberty strikes, we are overcome with the
longing for that exclusive, interpersonal connection felt by one
person for anotherromantic love. Our world revolves around
this sentimental experiencewe sing songs about it, write novels
to tell its tale, and lust over its appeal in movies.
Two strangers meet and discover that they can no longer live
except in the comfort of each others arms. When individuals
experience that inexplicable, intangible spark, an intense
romantic relationship can ensue.
This spark is distinctive and rooted deep within our
biology.
Were intrinsically attracted to some people and not to others.
As it turns out, the clich chemical attraction isnt so clich after
all. That spark is initiated by pheromones, biological chemicals
that bring partners even closer. And whether its caused by
pheromones or some other factor yet to be discovered, romantic
attraction is exclusive, intimate, personal, and seemingly tangible.
As Neil Gaiman writes in The Sandman:
Have you ever been in love? It makes you vulnerable.
It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means
that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
Love takes hostages.
The presence of uncertainty, unpredictability, and
uncontrollability serve as the trinity of attraction.
This unease evokes in us a sense of arousal and a desire to
engage. Coupled with that, a sense of anxiety about whats to
come is responsible for the initial euphoric phase that romance
is so well-known for. The connection is exhilarating. The
uncertainty about our potential partners feelings toward us, the
unpredictability of the relationship, and the uncontrollability of
our emotions establish a hormone-driven course of excitement.
While the level of arousal can seem overwhelming, the right
doses of anxiety hormones may actually allow us to function at a
much sharper level. This experience of a better self increases
the level of attraction toward the object of our affection.
We crave the high that only romance can offer. This marks
the introduction of an inexplicable emotional connection that
renders us vulnerable.
For the first time in our lives, being vulnerable is seen as
a desirable trait.
 We begin to think: This must be love. During the initial phase of
attraction, we have the option to pursue this potential partner.
Factors like personality; cultural, political, and religious values;
and upbringing all come into play.
Is this potential lover good enough for me? If we choose to move
forward with the possible relationship, our hormones will kick
into high gear, further escalating the sensations of attraction.
Biology continues to pull the couple together with the magnetism
of the first kiss. This inaugural physical intimacy will increase sex
drive, thus inducing feelings of lust, which continue to grow as
the partnership develops.
This hormone-driven excitatory phase we call casual dating
allows us to appreciate the supposed perfection of our new
mate, as we have yet to discover the flaws that will eventually
rear their ugly heads. We embark on a phase during which we see
our mate through rose-colored glasses. Love is, as the old adage
goes, blind at this stage.
For a short time, we are oblivious to the inadequacies of
our lover.
The novelty of a fresh relationship enables us to cherish
even the most mundane events we encounter with our new
love. Grocery shopping, walking the dog through the park, even
reading next to one another in bed acts as a sort of emotional
foreplay to form the foundation of the relationship to come.
Research behind the biology of romantic love has shown that
this feeling of euphoria lasts somewhere between a year and a
half to three yearsroughly coinciding with the length of the
average dating period.
An even more powerful pleasure follows physical
attraction: Romance.
The initial romantic phase is instinctive and often uninhibited.
The playfulness of a new relationship offers temporary freedom
from duty and necessity. But, quickly after igniting a relationship,
a pair often craves sexual union and exclusivity.
Well start to experience a level of obsession as our partner
becomes the center of our universe. Remember the words
of Shakespeares Romeo? Juliette is the sun, he says. She is
the epicenter around which all things revolvethe thing that
makes life possible. The lines between self and the object of our
affection become blurred.
At this point, well deny nothing to the power of romance.
Next comes the intrusive thoughtsno matter what we are
doing, we find this person invading our minds at every moment.
If youve danced in the rain together, every time it rains, you cant
help but to think of them. We dream about them. Even the most
arbitrary conversation presents a reason to mention their name:
I bought a new lamp, a friend might say. Oh, my girlfriend
loves lamps! youll respond, looking for any opportunity to
have the present conversation, like your universe, center on your
new love. Paul Coelho writes of this phenomenon in his book,
By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept:
Ive been in love before, its like a narcotic. At first it
brings the euphoria of complete surrender. The next day
you want more. And just as addicts steal and humiliate
themselves to get what they need, youre willing to do
anything for love.
Oddly enough, this level of obsession is present in not only
mutual love but also rejected love.
We beg to have our feelings reciprocatedthis is our
nature.
We become needy and insecure whenever we believe the
feelings in our relationship have become unbalanced. Who hasnt
waited by the phone, over-analyzing every word said by the
sweetheart who promised hed call? Our desperate actions, such
as incessant phoning, awkward spying, and full-blown stalking,
are often enough to push away the object of our intensity.
Likewise, the initial arousal responsible for our attraction
morphs into anxiety when we perceive a threat. Irrationality sets
in, and this causes us to become hypersensitive to behavioral
cues. This hyper-arousal was once only triggered for our
ancestors by predator threatsthe kind that could result in
death. Today, the chances of us being chased by a wild animal
are slim to none, but our bodies have yet to distinguish a physical
threat from an ego threat. In fact, scientists have found that the
emotional pain from rejection in love can activate the same
neural pathways in our brain as physical pain, which is why:
Love, if not reciprocated, hurts.
Separation and tribulations within a romantic relationship
can sometimes reignite that trinity of attraction: Uncertainty,
unpredictability, and uncontrollability are again what stir us.
By shaking up the monotony, this intense adversity within a
relationship can actually work to heighten passion. Romantic
love, although erratic and at times highly volatile, has the power
to perish and rekindle over and over again.
This early bond shared between the couple continues to
heighten the level of emotional dependency in proportion
with the looming threat of separation. I want to be with you,
becomes, I need to be with you. The weight of our happiness
is now carried on the shoulders of our partner, as their bliss rests
on ours.
At this point, the couple is often convinced that they are in
love. They have yet to realize how the relationship has evolved
and will continue to develop as the attachment matures.
An interesting psyche develops during the bonding
processa sense of ownership.
We feel possessive over our lovers, and the importance of
my girlfriend or my boyfriend starts to trump the actual loving
relationship. When our possessions are violated through loss, we
agonize over it, our reaction mirroring that of personal tragedy.
Through this obsession, we become increasingly attached to our
role as a partner, and we see our beloved as an extension of the
self.
At the same time, we develop a sense of empathy toward
our partners as wellwhen they laugh, we laugh; when they cry,
we cry. This bond may take weeks or months to grow, but the
fact remains that it is universally transcendent and fundamentally
inescapable. With enough mutual encounters, empathy develops
naturally and almost unconsciously. No matter how strong or
stubborn we may be, we deny nothing to romantic love. Ibn
Hazm of Cordova, an ancient leader of Islamic thought, calls
love, A most delightful malady, a most desirable sickness.
We see this even in cases of infidelity. When two people begin
an extramarital affair, they usually do so strictly for pleasure, with
the plan to keep it casual. But the relationship will most likely
evoke an empathetic bond and lead to a heartrending decision:
Should I disengage from one relationship to pursue a new one?
 Eventually, from the early romance and empathy blooms
the beginning of yet another stage of romantic lovethe
notion of soul mates.
During the romantic-empathy phase, couples enjoy a state of
intense, blissful ecstasy. The pair feels and often behaves as if
they are one entity, inseparable.
Often, romantic passion culminates in sex. In a partnership,
sex serves as one of the deepest ways to express romantic love
and increases the couples satisfaction. The pair exalts sexual
intercourse as a necessary part of love, completing the circuit
and allowing the current of love to flow freely into the soul, as
Ibn Hazm explains. Sex acts as the reward for love and establishes
the ideal of soul mates. For a couple at this stage, sex is not a
mere union of senses, but an extracorporeal experience.
And, at its climax, sex is the closest the couple will ever
come to a state of pure bliss.
The glorified concept of soul mates results from the unique
and addicting level of satisfaction experienced during physical
or emotional intimacy. The pair, brought together by the powers
of proximity, becomes one soul. Now, the new couple craves a
paradise of love and relies on their sexual union as the means to
this endto stay united forever. Sex speaks what words cannot
say and momentarily allows the couple to lose their sense of
individual identity. Through this union, people come to idealize
their partners. No longer do we see our mates as individuals, but
as gateways to exhilaration.
Our egos fadethus we feel as one, a sort of mystic
experience.
 We experience a similar self-less state during mindful
meditation. According to a recent, well-regarded neuroscience
study, Orgasm and meditation dissolve the sense of physical
boundary.
A couple experiencing such physical and emotional intimacy
interprets the euphoria in this way: Because Ive reached a level of
ecstasy that Ive never experienced before, this person must be my soul mate.
In reality, this elation is simply the result of our ego-less state,
even if experienced just for a moment.
Whether the idea of soul mates is undeniable or not, at this
stage the couple establishes a firmer bondone typified by not
only an emotional connection but a physical union as well. No
one can separate us because we are in love, the couple is convinced
beyond any doubt. Reality, though, will soon paint a different
picture.
The intensity of romantic love can seem unsustainable.
And studies have shown that this is, in fact, the case. Over
time, those key triggers for our initial romanceuncertainty,
unpredictability, and uncontrollabilityfade away. Without the
specific challenges that new relationships can bring, our arousal
fades, and we become increasingly complacent in our affairs. The
qualities of our mates that initially attracted us may later become
our partners most obnoxious features. The rose-colored glasses
come off during this phase, and we see our partners now in a
more unbiased light. The person who once seemed strong-willed
now appears stubborn and unreasonable. That fun, outgoing
type morphs into a nonstop nuisance who never shuts up. The
exciting risk-taker is now simply irresponsible. The gorgeous
babe becomes a high-maintenance brat, while the laid-back
boyfriend turns into a lazy dependent.
 Fading romantic attraction is as unavoidable as that
initial spark.
Heres why: While similarities between partners are key to
growing a relationship, many couples initially feel excited by
the diversity between them. They believe that their differences
make it possible for them to help each other explore, together
and separately, those things they would not normally attempt on
their own. Curiosity is the binding force between themtheyre
intrigued by this new world and lean on their partner for support
while navigating uncharted territory.
Unfortunately, like any other human behavior, even mutual
exploration is short lived. When the journey becomes pass, the
foundation of the union crumbles and passion runs dry. What
the couple at first lusted over as an unmistakable mutual bond
seems to quiver.
And when they see that their passion is starting to dim, they
take measures to protect their love.
Now, instead of using their emotions, they use their
intellect to counter the waning passion they feel.
They try to introduce new, exciting activities into the
relationship to reignite the novelty of the connection. Riding
roller coasters, watching horror movies together, skydiving, any
thrilling activity helps simulate the lustful chemicals from the
relationships earliest days.
The couple might come to the realization that, contrary to
the popular notion that real love should be without effort,
they have to work to keep the fire of romantic love alive.
Unfortunately, sooner or later, the boredom within the
relationship seeps into the bedroom. During the earlier phases of
a relationship, keeping romance exciting can mean the difference
between a lasting relationship and one doomed to fail. Once
sex becomes predictable, it is no longer seen as a reward for
love. The mind begs for newness and punishes monotony with
lowered physical stimulation.
When it comes to feeling turned on, love simply isnt
enough.
Married women report that a stable, caring relationship is
essential, but not enough to get them in a sexual mood. Many
women are turned on by feeling like they are their lovers chosen
one. With marriage, sex can become a routine, and perhaps most
disheartening, an obligation. Once the bond has been cemented,
the intrigue of choice is goneremoving the sensation of
feeling uniquely desired.
Committed, long-term relationships eliminate the trinity of
attractionunpredictability, uncontrollability, and uncertainty.
By this point, the couple relies on their shared interests and
values to survive the relationship. While in the beginning of our
relationships its our differences that add to our attraction, its
actually our similarities that serve as the glue once those initial
sparks dim. Studies show that people who partner within their
own culture tend to have a lower divorce rate than those in
cross-cultural relationships. One reason for this might be that
the fading of early euphoria is replaced by the convenience of
similar and familiar lifestyles.
By now, romance (if there is any left at all) between the pair
is no longer a product of the adrenergic hormones but is now
one of nurturing hormones. To biologically counteract the loss
of passion and risk losing that necessary empathy, the hormone
responsible for feelings of caringoxytocinkicks in. Known
as the cuddle hormone, oxytocin is responsible for nurturing
behavior and also plays a role in the experience of childbirth
and parenthood. Having a baby can increase the presence of
oxytocin and evoke a new bond within the relationship.
A new type of love now ensues from stable fidelity. Lasting
companionship and, for some, parenthood become the
cornerstone of sustainability. The foundation of love is now
based on our roles as caregivers, not only to our children, but to
each other.
In some long-term partnerships, couples stay in love
out of mutual necessity or social convenience.
They remain together to share resources or simply to maintain
habituated lifestyles and established family structures.
Sometimes the arrangement is a bargain: Ill be there for you if,
and only if, you become who I want you to be.
I asked the staff at the community hospital where I was working
at the time a simple question: Why do you love your spouse?
The response was overwhelmingly similar, My husband/wife
treats me well. A clear theme exists among committed couples:
Within almost every relationship, love is given only as far
as it is received.
An 86-year-old patient of mine admitted for terminal cancer
seemed to be handling his condition quite peacefully. He told me
that his wife of 55 years made most of his treatment decisions.
I asked if he had always deferred such major choices in his life
to his wife, and instantaneously, in a cheerful demeanor, he
answered, Ill let you in on the secret to marriage. If you let your
wife be your boss, youll stay married forever. His unambiguous
response indicated that he felt he had officially cracked the code
to a long-lasting bond.
Over time, love evolves from an initial period of irresistible
force typified by physical intimacy, then to a period of emotional
dependency, and later to a relationship bound by conditions.
Instead of asking each other, Are you still infatuated with me? The
questions become, Do you still interest me? Stimulate me? Help me,
comfort me, and care for me? Can I still do the same for you? We focus
on matters such as these: Can you allow me to become the person I
want to be? Can you be my best friend for life? Can you appreciate the
choices I make, stand by them, and encourage me to achieve my goals? Can
you help me when I can no longer care for myself? Only if you stand by all
of these commitments will I know that you truly love me. This implicit
cooperative agreement between the couple is what keeps the
relationship alive.
With will you still need me, will you still feed me, when Im
64 the Beatles poetically describe the mutual dependence and
tacit compliance required in any lasting relationship. While we
romanticize unconditional love, it is the unwritten contract
Ill love and care for you if youll love and care for methat
keeps relationships strong.
The rollercoaster of romantic love is one of lifes greatest
mysteries. We crave it constantly. Without intimate connection,
we feel hollow. In a sense, until we feel attached, we live in a state
of need. But once we acquire this love, we still dwell in a state of
fearthe fear of losing that bond.
I once encountered a patient who, accompanied by her
husband, was admitted to the hospital due to an illness. Despite
her condition, she and her husband struggled to focus on her
needs; instead,
the couple was distracted by the needs of their child.
Their child, a 40 year old on a downward spiral to rock
bottom, had recently moved back in with his parents after he
lost his money in bad business deals, became an alcoholic, and
separated from his family after a nasty divorce. The parents love
for their son caused them to become consumed by feelings of
helplessness mixed with unrivaled determination to help better
their sons circumstances. It was after meeting this family that I
first thought: Why is parental love toward a child so noticeably stronger
than that of a childs love toward his or her parents?
The fact is that a childs love for his parents is stifled by a
much higher regard for personal survival. On the other hand, a
parents love toward their child is boundless. But why?
Our survival-first mentality powers unequivocal love
toward our offspring.
A strong, evolutionary advantage is hidden behind that fierce
parental love. In seeing our children as biological extensions of
ourselves, our concern for our childrens well-being rivals even
our desire to look out for number one. The adage: The child is
worthy of the parents sacrifice, holds true because it is the child
that embodies the parents immortalitythrough biological
legacy.
For many parents, attending to their childrens needs gives
them a fulfilling sense of purpose. How much children love their
caretakers, however, is often based solely on what they provide
for them. An Australian study of 2,000 primary school children
showed that kids almost unanimously define the role of a parent
as someone who cares for you, buys you things, spends money
on you, and protects you.
While a mother and father seem to both share unbound love
toward their children, motherly love is so biologically driven that
most would agree:
No relationship in the world can compare to the bond
between most mothers and their children.

In fact, the bond starts right from the earliest cell division of
the embryo. The relationship between the fetus and the mother
is so connected that to avoid the risk of miscarriage or preterm
labor, the developing fetus modifies some of the moms genes
that would otherwise trigger an immune response and reject it. A
fetus already knows how to talk to mom at the most basic
level, even before he or she is born. The process of reproduction
represents the unbroken chain of life.

While the structure of family has expanded to include

children raised by caregivers other than biological parents,
biology proves that we instinctively care for our progeny as much
as we care for ourselves. Perhaps as adoptive parents or blended
families grow to love their children as if they were their own, a
similar instinct kicks in as the desire to carry on a legacy is
expressed through their non-biological sons and daughters as
well.

While parents consider their children as their legacy,

children dont feel such an instinctual connection.

As we become adults, our definition of family evolves. For

an adult, the image of ones family is usually made up of the
individual, their partner, and their children. This picture excludes
parents, who are more or less seen as guardians of the young
family. Why? Because our parents are not part of our legacy
now; instead, our children are. Life passes on from parents to
children, but not the reverse; thus, the parents investment in
their childrens well-being is not equally reciprocated.
To counteract our seemingly self-centered attitude toward
providing for our parents, society and religious cultures have
instituted codes of conduct that promote elder care. At one time,
taking care of our parents was simply a part of life, a duty in
which sons and daughters happily obliged. But as society moves
from communal thinking to more of an individualized focus, an
elderly parent is now seen as a burden. Today it seems that the
desire of the adult child to be burden-free supersedes any feeling
of obligation to care for his or her parents. Some cultures have
even instituted a type of reward system to ensure that elders are
cared for by offering material property to adult children who
care for them.
Religious ethics also play a role in encouraging children to
care for their parents when they can no longer do so themselves.
The Ten Commandments demand that we honor thy mother
and father. Hindu practices mandate the care of elderly parents,
and Jewish scriptures instruct children to take care of their elder
parents physical and psychological needs.
Where biology fails to create altruism, religion
compensates with its promotion of benevolence.
In the Chinese tradition, the first virtue is filial pietytaking
care of ones parents. As an extension of that notion, this concept
encourages participants to engage in good conduct outside of
the home as well, in order to bring a positive name to ones family
and ancestors. While China is known for its religious diversity,
filial piety is common to almost all of the cultures beliefs. In the
Classic of Filial Piety, Confucius writes, In serving his parents, a
filial son reveres them in daily life; he makes them happy while
he nourishes them; he takes anxious care of them in sickness; he
shows great sorrow over their death; and he sacrifices to them
with solemnity.
I once treated a 67-year-old patient who had been admitted
for pneumonia. With each treatment shed get better, but her
apathy toward life remained. She didnt seem to care whether
or not she recovered. Finally, I asked her what was causing her
detachment.
Its not my illness that gets me down, she replied.
Its the fact that after my husband died two years ago,
I became a burden to my son and his family.
Even though she remained fairly active and could still
contribute to the household, she felt badly for staying with her
son.
I let her know that had she been born into an Eastern culture,
shed realize that it is nothing out of the ordinary to move in
with your children as you agein fact, its widely expected. Only
in the West does it seem to be considered a weakness to need to
move in with your children. The next day during my rounds, she
was more cheerful than ever. She thanked me not only for the
treatment, but for easing her mind about being a burden. She
went home with renewed energy to enjoy the rest of her life with
her son and his family.
Simply relying on compassion may not be enough to spark
our willingness to spend the time and energy necessary to care
for aging parents. We dont see our future in them; they are our
past.
 Just as parental love is reliant on the power of genetics to
increase the bond, sibling love is also determined by genetic
similarities.
Altruism is most often displayed in relationships with
family members.
Because, at the core, there is still a bit of personal survival
benefit due to shared genetics. In his book, The Selfish Gene,
Richard Dawkins explains the importance of altruism in genetic
bonds, The more two individuals are genetically related, the
more sense it makes for them to behave selflessly with each
other.
We possess an innate bond with any biological relative.
Parents, siblings, and first-degree relatives share a considerable
percentage of genes. Biology dictates that sharing genetic legacy
with someone evokes a natural bond in which we have a vested
interest in that persons well-being.
Champion heavyweight boxer Wladimir Klitschko, a fierce
fighter in the ring, was once asked about fighting his brother,
who is also a professional boxer, What would it take for you to
fight your brother?
He replied, There is not enough money in this world.
Our yearning to protect our siblings is rooted deeply in our
genetics.
After examining our interpersonal, loving relationships, be
they romantic, parental, or sibling, we come back to our original
question:
What part of this relationship that we call love is
unconditional?
 Once any relationship is established between two people,
our minds subconsciously pose a question: How beneficial is this
relationship to me? I am not saying that every loving relationship
is driven by a selfish motive, but love is contingent upon mutual
compliance to relationship-specific expectations. A bond
between partners is considered loving if, and only if, both agree
to fulfill their intended dutiessimilarly for a friend, sibling, and
sometimes even a parent. How well both parties perform their
role determines the ultimate strength of the relationship.
What we know for sure is that love ultimately serves a
quite organic purposea survival mechanism for ensuring our
emotional and physical contentment.
If our love is essentially defined by expectations, is
unconditional love nothing more than a utopian idea? Can
you love someone without being in a relationship? If you can
experience this, how do you describe it? What name could you
give to such an experienceempathy, sympathy, or some other
arbitrary marker?
What we call love in our day-to-day life is relationship-
dependent and kept alive by the thread of memory.
Our love toward our partners is reliant upon reciprocation,
mutual understanding, and dependency. Our love toward our
family is rooted in our shared legacy. Our love toward friends is
based upon the mutually beneficial roles we play to enrich one
anothers lives. The moment we fail at any of those tasks, the
stability of our relationships are threatened.
Love is too abstract for words.
To realize unconditional love, we always seem to start with the
puzzling, open-ended question: What is true love? You can write an
unabridged dictionary attempting to comprehensively describe
all of the meanings of love. Still, the attributes we ascribe fall
short of capturing all that love is.
Here is the key to the great mystery of love:
To know what love is, we must know all that love is not.
Love cannot be defined as a feeling. If we were to say, I feel
love, wed really be referring to emotional descriptors such as
happiness, sympathy, and empathy. Love is also not a state of
mind, as true love cannot be dependent on our ever-changing,
circumstantial mental status. It becomes very difficult to define
what love is based only on positive attributes.
In chapter 13 of St. Pauls first letter to the Corinthians, he
goes on to describe love beautifully in this way:
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels,
but have not love,
I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have prophetic powers,
and understand all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains,
but have not love,
I am nothing.
If I give away all I have,
and if I deliver my body to be burned,
but have not love,
I gain nothing.
Love is patient and kind;
love is not jealous or boastful;
it is not arrogant or rude.
Love never ends;
as for prophecies, they will pass away;
 as for tongues, they will cease;
as for knowledge, it will pass away.
So faith, hope, love abide, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.
Because words fail to adequately encompass all that true love
is, it serves us better to define what love is not. This is exactly
what St. Paul does in his letters. After negating all that is not
love, whatever remains must be it. Love is not greed; love is not
jealousy; love is not dependency. If you keep going through this
deductive reasoning, the only thing that will be left is what we
call true love.
To attain knowledge, add things every day. To attain wisdom,
remove things every day, advises Lao Tzu. Use this quintessential
approach to define true love. Ancient Indian sage Yjavalkya
famously referred to this approach in the Upanishads as neti,
netinot this, not that. This method of deduction transcends
all cultural boundaries and has been used throughout history to
define the indefinable.
True love is a basic sense of compassion, void of
mutually beneficial agreements.
Compassion toward others is our natural stateto help
others when we see them in need. When someone is injured or
suffering, be it a stranger or an animal or even a broken tree,
most of us will experience a sense of yearning, an irresistible
urge to help.
Compassion is universal.
Nearly everyone recognizes suffering and instinctively
reacts. While our reaction to suffering is the intangible glue
that connects us all, we sometimes often go to great lengths to
prevent compassion from interrupting our daily routines.
Weve attempted to limit compassion only to so-called
desirable persons. We restrict benevolence by carefully choosing
whom (and whom not) to feel empathetically toward. We also
organize this impulse by creating groups with endless rules and
regulations that determine when to feel compassionate and even
how much to feel. Some people act compassionately because it
offers an ego boostan opportunity to be perceived as generous
and caring.
Religious institutions have played a vital role in creating a
philosophy based around the idea of rewarding compassion.
Some cultures attempt to make compassion a duty, while others
call it a virtue. Ultimately, followers of many religions are led to
believe that being altruistic is a path to salvation.
For most of us, compassion never has and never will be
freely reciprocated.
But despite the many barriers weve imposed upon ourselves
to inhibit compassion, ever-so-often an individual breaks the
stoic mold and boldly shows empathy not only to his or her
family, but to strangers as well. For them, relationships and
expectations have no role in expressing these acts of kindness.
Because as humans we are programmed to maximize our
survival, we inherently lack altruism. We will only help others
only if we are benefited in some way. All living entities are
programmed like this to ensure their legacyand there is nothing
wrong with that. However, when someone breaks all the barriers
to compassion and demonstrates true altruism, he is considered
to be beyond human. Those men and women throughout history
who abided in this compassion and overcame survival-first
mentality became our heroes and the founders of our religions,
traditions, and cultures. This is how men become God-menby
being truly compassionate, with no strings attached.
We often feel that this unconditional, unbridled love lies
beyond our capabilities.
We rely upon spiritual handbooks or religious authorities to
reach this level of compassionate love. We have the greatest holy
texts and epics ever written, but none of them have been able to
explain with complete satisfaction what true love is.
By knowing what is true and what is false about our under-
standing of love, well be able to distinguish what true love is and
what true love is not. We will become fully aware of the force of
compassion that connects us to all that is.
 Chapter Five

Universe: What is This Place, and Why

am I Here?
 We are the universe experiencing itself. Thats why
were here.
Carl Sagan

Carl Sagan, who first expressed his fascination with the vast
universe while in elementary school, writes, The scale of the
universe suddenly opened up to me. It was a kind of religious
experience. There was a magnificence to it, grandeur, a scale
which has never left me. Like many of us, he was curious about
nature. His unwavering inquisitiveness led him to become one
of the greatest enlightened scientists in modern history. Perhaps
nothing captures his capacious understanding of the universe
better than his climactic conclusion after a lifetime of inquiry,
We are the universe experiencing itself. Thats why were here.
All skepticism and curiosity occupying human nature is
rooted in our urge to know our own place in the world. We feel
compelled to identify how we are related to that unknown entity
responsible for this great enterprise we call the universe. Some
study the universe as scientists, like Carl Sagan, searching for
the unknown through the laws of nature. Others inquire as
progressive thinkers, like Jiddu Krishnamurthy, who declared,
In oneself lies the whole world, and if you know how to look
and learn, then the door is there, and the keys in your hand.
And then there are theists who believe in an invisible force
responsible for the origin, maintenance, and dissolution of our
world.
On our journey, were tasked with starting at the point of our
current understanding and seeing where that leads us. Are there
any unconcealed facts or hidden clues that the universe offers on the path to
ultimately knowing ourselves?
But our first question is perhaps the most simple, and yet also
the most complex:
Who created this place we call home and all that expands
beyond it?
Regardless of our faith, nationality, or era in which we live,
each of us yearns to know if there is such a thing as a creator.
While we often ignore our inquisitive tendencies, distracted by
our busy lives, but we cant escape our curiosity. When we take
the time to direct our focus skyward and see millions of stars
lighting up the dark night, we cant help but wonder what our
place is in this infinitely vast space.
We should first consider the birthplace of the universe and
the story of its transformation, because ultimately knowing its
history offers insight into the intricacies of ourselves, as well as
into the mysteries around us with which we are so complexly
intertwined.
Because there is no direct way to know whether there is or
isnt a creator, we start by examining what we do have immediate
access to: the createdthe tangible, perceivable universe.
Searching for the source of the cosmos unfolds many aspects
of both nature and mankind. If we agree that the universe is
the product of somethingbe it creation, gradual evolution, or
something else yet to be discoveredthen where did it come from?
For centuries we have sought to solve this eternal, cause-
effect riddle.
Our inquisitions have given rise to innumerable religious
doctrines, mythological commentaries, and scientific theories.
Astronomers and theologians have long attempted to explain
how the world as we know it evolved from its fiery origins to the
galactic zoo we live in today.
Because our current understanding of total existence is often
defined by scientific methods, the term universe may take on a
technical connotation. In recent years, scientific theories and
investigations have garnered much attention. If this book were
written 500 years ago, however, it would focus almost solely on
mythological explanations.
Today, we have the ability to couple scientific inquiry
with ancient philosophical and theological wisdom in order
to gain a more comprehensive understanding of how the
universe came to be.
The over-arching goal of scientific investigation is to break
down the nature of the universe to its most fundamental parts
its biology and its chemistryand to look at the physics behind
it. Scientists will tell you that we are made of two things: matter
and energy. But the theories regarding the nature of this matter
and energy have undergone many transformations over the years.
What we once knew as the macro concept of four elements
(earth, fire, water, and air) evolved into the micro concept of
atoms and molecules.
 After their discovery, we believed atoms and molecules to be
the simplest form of matter, but scientists later smashed atoms
to find that we are comprised of even smaller aspects: electrons,
protons, and neutrons.
And that was just the beginning.
Later, man outdid himself once again and built bigger and
more sophisticated machines to break down these particles.
At the beginning of the 19th century, scientists claimed to have
discovered 55 elements that, together, make up all of nature.
But since the invention of the spectroscope, 37 more elements
have been added to the list of fundamental building blocks that
comprise our existence.
It seems as though the moment we assume we have discovered
the tiniest, most basic element of life, we immediately find a way
to prove otherwise.
Our picture of the universe evolves at the same rate as
our technology.
Looking at a clear sky with the naked eye, about 2,500 stars are
visible. At one time, we believed those stars to be the only ones.
Yet after the invention of telescopes, we discovered billions of
never-before-seen galaxies. Again, our increased perception of
the universe challenged our prior conclusions.
With never-waning advances in technology, is it even possible to fathom
all that is the universe? On our road to breaking down the components of
life, where does it end, and what does it get us?
We seldom have a definitive answer to some of the most
basic questions perplexing humanity.
Chances are, youve dealt with this widespread malady
approximately twice a year. No matter where youre from, its
the most frequent infection affecting those around you: the
common cold. Despite its prevalence, we have yet to discover
what exactly causes this infection. All we know is that common
colds are most often caused by one or more of some 200 viruses.
Each virus comes with hundreds of subtypes, numbering the
span of potential triggers into the thousands. Thats not the
only complexity plaguing microbiologists, either. Viruses only
account for about half of the cases of a common colda
wide variety of bacteria and fungi can also be culprits. Scientists
constantly discover new microbes to add to the already seemingly
infinite list of common-cold triggers. The more sophisticated
instruments we invent, the more microbes causing this trivial
ailment we discover.
Our ancestors were not exempt from this quest either;
they too proposed countless theories regarding its causes and
cures. Greek physician and philosopher Hippocrates believed
colds were caused by a buildup of supposed waste matter in
the brain, the overflow of which resulted in runny noses. Other
explanations included the presence of evil and bad bloodthe
recommended remedy for which was leaches. Many of these
theories were eventually discarded as lunacy, but some are still
used as legitimate treatments to this day. In ancient China, the
cold was combated with tea containing ephedrine, which is used
throughout the modern world. A more classic, edible cure,
chicken noodle soup, was recommended by an 11th-century
Jewish scholar, and medical research still considers this to be
sound advice.
Weve tried everything to solve natures riddles, but what we
find is that many of the solutions lay beyond our grasp. The odds
of discovery may be against us, but this shouldnt discourage our
search efforts. The process itself has proven again and again to
be of tremendous utility and value. Countless scientific theories,
though none are definitive, have allowed us to better understand
the universe. Each theory seems to fill the gaps of its predecessor
and complement the capacity of the technologies of its time. As
a result, throughout history one theme has loomed over the field
of science:
The more we learn, the more we realize how much we
dont understand.
More than 400 years ago, Galileo first aimed his vision
skyward, forever changing our view of the world and accelerating
the pace of cosmological studies. While there were many
attempts to scientifically explain the universe, it was Galileo who
bravely denounced geocentrism and proclaimed that the earth,
along with all of the other planets, revolves around the sun
birthing a major era in the Scientific Revolution. For the first
time, humanity had to digest that the earth is not the center of
the universe.
Later, building upon his scientific predecessors, Isaac Newton
assumed that the universe is static and finite. He utilized his
inventionthe refractor telescopeto help further explore the
nature of the world. During this time, scientists believed that
just one galaxy existedour galaxy, the Milky Way. Weve come
a long way since then, and today it is estimated that up to 200
billion galaxies comprise the universe.
The 19th century saw the birth of yet another cosmic revolution.
In the late 1920s, Edwin Hubble used increasingly sophisticated
telescopes to discover that galaxies are constantly moving away
from each other at a rate incomprehensible to mankind
concluding that the world we inhabit is ever expanding.
It is the nature of the human mind to explore the
beginning and the end, the alpha and the omega, of all
things.
The Big Bang theory gave us a brief glimpse of hope that
perhaps wed cracked the mystery of the birth of all that is. We
quickly realized, of course, that assuming this theory was the
correct one only brought about new challenging questions: If
there is a beginning to the universe, is there an end? Do other universes
exist? Is it possible that big bangs are still occurring today? The cycle
of inquiry never ends, and, most often, only grows increasingly
complicated.
Adding to the confusion is the fact that after years of
accepting that our universe is the one and only, new theories arose
in the scientific community postulating the presence of multiple
universes. Assuming this has forced us not only to reevaluate
how we define the term universe but also to restructure our
theories to more comprehensively explain what occurs beyond
the realm of our scientific-measuring capabilities. If we accept
that multiple universes exist, then we must ask ourselves: Does
each universe have its own laws of physics and chemical properties? Are
these properties beyond our perception?
The inquiries become overwhelming.
While one theory suggests that many universes exist beyond
our own, another takes this a step further and assumes that
universes are born and then fade out, thus existing at different
epochs of time. The theory postulates infinite, self-sustaining
cycles of the universe exploding into existence not just once, but
repeatedly. Others suggest that additional universes are present
within our own space but exist in a dimension that we simply cant
perceive. Some recent theories even suggest that perhaps certain
creation-of-the-universe observations can never be predicted
absolutely, meaning there may be no end to the mystery.
Ultimately, our ideas of the origin of the universe are,
like the universe itself, ever-expanding.
While science is spotlighted as the all-knowing field able to
explain the nature of our existence, some of the most popular
scientific theories today bear similarities to explanations embraced
by ancient philosophers, mythologists, and theologians. Ideas
such as multiple levels of existence, cyclical theories of the
universe, and the idea of the earth spawning from a single mass
were present far before methodological testing occurred.
I am not suggesting that we use ancient myth and mysticism
as the basis of our current understanding of the universe, but
it is worth looking at how our ancestors grappled with such
existential questions. While all these scientific theories are
intellectually satisfying, they lack one important element: They
fall short of emotionally satisfying the human mind.
Ancient mythologies filled this gap by explaining the
unexplainable.
Call it insight or myth or metaphysics, its hard to ignore the
notable theories put forth by various religions and mythology
throughout history. Ancient Greeks used mythology to explain
the world, thus developing the creation myth. According to them,
out of a void of nothingness, earth emerged. The Babylonian epic,
Enma Eli, tells of how the people of Mesopotamia explained
the beginning of the world thousands of years ago, with the
universe in a formless state. For the Maori of New Zealand, the
union of Father Sky and Mother Earth bore all things. Across
these diverse cultures, many explanations of creation involve
the actions, thoughts, and desires of a supreme being. A creator
produces existence. The Bible tells of this creation, lasting seven
days, in the Book of Genesis in the Old Testament.
Other cultures believe that the universe emerged from a primal
chaosa state of utter disorder. Native Americans believe that
life appeared on earth by climbing out from a wild, primitive
underworld. Norse mythology paints a scene of creation in
which wind and mist harden into a frost giant known as Ymir,
from whose body the entire world was made.
Another theme in creation myths is the idea of a flood or
massive body of water from which everything was created.
Ancient Egyptians believed that a great flood was the basis for
life. The cultures reliance on the Nile River helped to support
this legend. Some flood myths explain water receding as land
rises; others describe a life form diving into water and bringing
up the earth.
Buddhist mythology describes how the universe came into
being and will later dissolve in a way thats similar to other Indian
beliefs: It assumes an infinite span of cycles. No cycle is identical,
and the ending of one cycle is always greeted by the beginning of
another. Ancient Hindu philosophy considers the universe to be
in a perpetual state of flux; the universe as we know it is simply
the current version, which will continue to adapt overtime until
it no longer exists. At that point, a new universe will arise in its
place.
The Hindu scriptures bear certain similarities to cosmology
when explaining the birth of our universe like this, The universe
as we know it evolved from an emptiness. And according to the
myth of Pangu of the Taoist philosophy, the universe began as
an egg, born of formless matter.
Over centuries, humans have struggled to explain their place
in this vast cosmic arena. Without an educated understanding of
whats out there, it is too easy for us to simply pick a side or a
story. Its easy choosing to identify with the most popular theory
of the time or follow the beliefs of our forefathers, regardless
of their validity. Instead, we must challenge ourselves to realize
this:
Whether scientific or theistic, it seems as though most
theorists agree that there may not be one single conclusion,
or perhaps there is no conclusion at all.
An endless bounty of theories about the origins and fate of
the universe is at our disposal. Each claims to be the highest
truth, especially those supported by a faiths doctrine. The next
time you think of how strongly you feel about your version of
the way the universe came to be, remember that there are millions
of people like you, all with completely different beliefs and
claiming their explanation to be the ultimate authority.
Regardless of what physicists prove or what mystics believe,
both thinkers and believers are inherently limited by their
incapacity to ever perceive and imagine all that is and all that was.
Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is
stranger than we can imagine. Like the brilliant British physicist
Arthur Eddington explains, even the most expansive minds are
no match for the boundless oddity of nature.
This accessible universe is only a crumb of an infinite
existence.
Only a transient portrait and a fragment of all that has
ensued within the universe is immediately available to us. If
the history of science has taught us anything, it should be the
shortsightedness of believing that what we see is all there is,
observes Lisa Randall, a renowned Harvard theoretical physicist.
The term universe tends to connote everything or all
that is.
Scientific revelations have certainly blurred the meaning of
the term universesometimes the term is used as an absolute,
sometimes to define only what we have access to, and yet other
times to acknowledge worlds outside of our tangible realm that
remain permanently inaccessible.
Indeed, our most reliable method of interpreting the universe
through scientific explanations is limited by the reach of our
imaginations. But because scientific studies are performed under
managed conditions, their scope is inherently inadequate.
Consider when a scientist tests the effects of a drug on
the human mind. Even with so many of the variables tightly
controlled, there are still many important factors that are not
taken into consideration. Factors like cultural influences and
state of mind are almost impossible to isolate.
We deconstruct nature for our studies and then piece it
back together with our theoretical constructions.
The outcome of even the most expensive and detailed scientific
undertaking is solely determined by the variables chosen for the
study. Because variables are dynamically interdependent, these
isolated studies are restricted in how much they can say about
the totality of nature. Bill Bryson expresses these inadequacies
in A Brief History of Nearly Everything:
We live in a universe whose age we cant quite compute,
 surrounded by stars whose distances we dont altogether
know, filled with matter we cant identify, operating in
conformance with physical laws whose properties we
dont truly understand.
Christians once explained these limitations in terms of
our original sin.
According to this idea, we are born with limitations.
Overcoming these limitations means admitting the shortcomings
of our perceptions and opening our minds to the idea that much
of the universe exists beyond our mental capacities.
The Bible, as with many other holy books, offers insight into
the problems that arise because our limited perceptions. The
revelations of the Book of Joel seen in the Hebrew Bible allude
to the peculiarities of the universe. Joel asks profound questions,
such as: Why does God allow good people to suffer? What have human
beings done to make you subject them to tireless scrutiny?
God eloquently explains to Joel that his understanding of the
universe and its inner workings is narrowly limited. God tells
of the vastness of the universe, most of which is not known to
the human intellect. It is because of this restriction, the Bible
explains, that we are limited in our understanding. Ultimately, all
religions emphasize that the world is vastly beyond our mental
capacity to comprehend.
Even with the inherent inadequacies of religious beliefs and
scientific theories about the origin and extent of the universe,
the ideas remain in vogue. Its worth asking ourselves:
Why do we continue to invest in the exploration of ideas
that seem beyond our understanding?
The answer is simple, albeit emotionally unsatisfying: We have
to make peace with ourselves and accept that there are certain
elements of nature beyond human reason. Our inquisitiveness
does not go unrewarded, though, because no matter what our
reasoning for so passionately inquiring about the origins of
our universelearning its history indirectly offers us a glimpse
into the story of mankind, leading us to technologies that have
helped us thrive in our everyday lives.
The digital thermometer, for instance, is a standard tool in our
medicine cabinets. NASA had created an instrument to quickly
measure the temperature of stars with infrared technology,
and this became vital when a company called Diatek was
looking to shave down the time it took nurses to read mercury
thermometers. Together, NASA and Diatek used the intricate
technology to invent an infrared sensor that could read a human
temperature in less than two seconds, forever changing the way
we assess the sick.
The Internet, which has become an essential part of almost
every persons life, is also a product of scientific inquiries into
the origins of the universe. Scientists at CERN, the European
Organization for Nuclear Research, invented and developed
the computer language and basic concepts that would later
serve as the foundation for the World Wide Web to facilitate
communication between scientists around the globe as they
contributed to local experiments.
In the same way, mythological insights open up a wider
awareness of our creative intellect.
Buddhism, for instance, played a vital role in shaping Japanese
art. Bronze Buddhist sculptures inspired artists for centuries to
come, and the Buddhist idea of Zenthe personal expression
of experiential wisdom in the attainment of enlightenment
has taken Western art and dcor by storm with its minimalist,
less-is-more aesthetic.
Why is understanding all of this important to knowing
ourselves?
We tend to identify with one of the two polarizing views,
creation or evolution. One is emotionally satisfying, while the
other is intellectually stimulating. This ideological separation
forever influences how we treat the inhabitants of nature. Unless
we have a clear consensus of our place in our continually growing
existence, we will remain divided by our contradictory views.
How do we reconcile the two ideas of thought: evidence
and belief ?
From religion comes a mans purpose; from science, his
power to achieve it, explains William H. Bragg, a Nobel-prize
winning British physicist, who compared the idea of reason and
intuition being in opposition to the likeness of his thumb and
fingers.
To best utilize both evidence and insight, it is essential to
understand the purpose of these two inquiries and what each can
and cant address. While we may no longer accept the thoughts
of the days when the ancient mythologies were written, their
suggestions about the ultimate questions of philosophy are still
of value to us today.
While a religious individual devoutly clings to his
scriptural versions of creation, no true scientist ever just
believes in a theory.
For a scientist, if a theory is disproven, then it is discarded
and replaced with a fresh, new theory. Unlike religious insight,
scientific study is self-correcting in nature. Its constantly working
to disprove its latest findings and fine-tune what it previously
accepted as fact.
In the 1930s, the Nazi Party ridiculed Einsteins theory with its
book, 100 Authorities Denounce Relativity. Einsteins response
was this: You dont need 100 famous intellectuals to disprove a
theory. All you need is one simple fact.
A religious fundamentalist, on the other hand, is not as
quick to amend his beliefs.
To a fundamentalist, beliefs are permanent, all important,
and non-negotiable. A scientists theories are subject to change
with advancements in technology, but a fundamentalists beliefs
stand the test of time. A fiery debate stems from the argument
about who is more rightthe scientist or the devoutly religious
individual. The scientist accepts all things of this world, while a
religious follower believes that a holy book is infallible.
A common thread runs throughout all fundamental religious
beliefs: Each religion claims that its holy book is not only a
composition of moral values but also an all-telling narrative
of the universes past, present, and futurea history book of
existence. These beliefs have become vantage points from which
the followers view the world.
Ardent followers of a religious authority must accept all
that is mentioned in the scripture, just as scientists accept
the laws of nature.
Each is governed by the all-or-nothing principle. If we
disregard one area of the scripture, then we open the floodgates
to neglect any idea we find inconvenientbe it sin, salvation, or
morality. Like any authority we agree to follow, we must accept
all of the rules, not just the ones of our choosing. Ultimately,
our beliefs concerning a holy books account of the origin of
the universe sets the tone for how we will regard the rest of the
book, including its views on life and our means of salvation.
The purpose of holy books is not to be a reference
against which scientific theories are checked.
Using knowledge and logic, a scientist seeks to study
the universe through reason. Whereas, the ancient mystics
developed a deeper understanding that was based on more than
purely perception, using intuition and deeper insight to develop
conclusions about the origins of life. For instance, Neil deGrasse
Tyson suggests that we do the following:
Recognize that the very molecules that make up your
body, the atoms that construct the molecules, are
traceable to the crucibles that were once the centers of
high mass stars that exploded their chemically rich guts
into the galaxy, enriching pristine gas clouds with the
chemistry of life. So that we are all connected to each
other biologically, to the earth chemically, and to the rest
of the universe atomically.
This is essentially what the spiritual icons have been preaching
to us for centuries. While Tyson came to this conclusion by way
of reason and evidence, our revered religious prophets came to
this understanding through intuition.
Utilizing religious insight and scientific theories to develop
a broader understanding of the universe will lead to a new
dimension of awareness. It was not by accident that the
greatest thinkers of all ages were deeply religious souls,
explains Max Planck, a German physicist noted for his work
on quantum theory. Incorporating scientific information into
your understanding of the universe does not mean you are
undermining the thoughtfulness of our sages and philosophers.
Unfortunately, the passionate arguments that drive the
great science and religion debate divide our thought
processes and, ultimately, how we define ourselves and our
cultures.
All too often we are forced to choose a side, and like with
any battle, no flirting with the opposition is allowed. Those
who attempt to blur the lines are ridiculed for fence-sitting, for
attempting to pass off religious ideas as scientific, or for being
anti-science. Ultimately, religious insight could fill in the gaps
for circumstances in which the universe seemingly outsmarts the
capacity of science.
What science cant explain is our reaction to beauty or
disarray, the idea of God and the infinite. Nor can it explain
that transcendent force that connects all inhabitants of nature.
This search is our minds attempt to seek out what is responsible
for the origin and maintenance of this playground we call
the universe. We crave to know the force responsible for this
interconnectivity and the relationship between the created and
the creator.
In our attempt to understand the universe and the all-powerful
essence of its creator, we tend to regard the two as separate
entities. We consider the created to be ephemeral, with an exact
beginning and a definable end. Separately, we view the creator
as an eternal guiding handan entity that always is, always was,
and forever will be.
This habit of assuming polarization is not unique to the
idea of creator and created. Its how we think. Its how we
survive.
What we often neglect to acknowledge is the merging of all
thingsnot the stories that exist within the entities themselves,
but in the intangible relationships between them.
In August of 2011, 30 Americans were killed in Afghanistan,
including Navy Seal Jon Tumilson, after a grenade took down
a US helicopter. Roughly 1,500 people attended the funeral
service, along with Jons dog, Hawkeye. Jon and Hawkeye shared
a father-son-like bond. Without being conditioned to know that
Jon was inside of the casket at the memorial, Hawkeye felt his
presence and dutifully lay by the caskets side for hours.
Compassion transcends physical boundaries. Just as pets rely
on humans, people depend on pets for emotional satisfaction. We
depend on life around us for both physical and emotional well-
being. We consume plants and animals for physical sustenance
and raise pets to satisfy our desire to nurture companionship.
Over the years, healthcare professionals have noticed the
therapeutic effects of animal companionship on humans,
such as relieving stress, lowering blood pressure, and raising
spirits. Nurses have noted that after a therapeutic dog visit,
patients sometimes have slower heart rates and require less pain
medication.
Our mental tendency to create distance between
ourselves and nature, ourselves and others, proves illusory
when examining our undeniable physical relationship with
the natural world.
 Our use of nature for its resources, for better or worse,
presents an irrefutable physical bond that not even our strongest
mental notions can argue.
Our literal consumption of the natural world makes our
connection with it that much more undeniable. Just as oxygen
fills our lungs and travels through our blood, reaching each cell
in our bodies, our muscles and bones are built and strengthened
via nutrients from the grains, vegetables, and meats we eat.
Our inseparable connection with nature, which is often
clouded by our modern, technology-powered lifestyles, is more
obvious than we might think.
We are constantly craving a return to our natural roots.
We spend our vacations with our toes in the sand and our
eyes on the ocean. We build fountains in our homes and plant
flowers in our gardens. Subconsciously, we are always looking to
be one with our world. This type of dependency is not something
that can be taught. We arrive in the universe with an inherent
understanding of how to interact with the world around us,
and this sense of cooperation is the very reason we are able to
survive and prosper.
When we look at a tree, for example, in all its magnificent
glory, we marvel at its massive trunk, graceful branches, beautiful
flowers, and enticing fruits. The almost tangible appreciation
between us and the tree cant possibly be one sided.
Gazing at a tree in its natural beauty is one thing; observing
nature at the deepest level is another. Have you ever thought:
Is the tree looking back at me just as I am gazing at it?
Now, that is a question to ask.
Our senses serve as our gateway to our surroundings
conjuring up a vibrant feast of visuals, sounds, tastes, smells, and
feelings. Our minds ruminate on these senses and then develop
appropriate reactions. The world as we know it is nothing more
than what we perceive it to be.
While trees appear to share very few similarities with humans,
they, like us, are endowed with specific sets of sensory tools that
allow them to soak up their environment.
Plants seduce us with their elegant flowers so that we come
nearer, while their sharp thorns barricade us from getting too
close. This sophistication serves as a brilliant survival technique.
Flowers entice us, Come closer, take a look, touch and smell our beauty.
Subconsciously, we appease the plant, bending down to take it
all in. As we smell the scent of the flower and ingest its pollen,
we adhere to the plants silent demand and sneeze. By sneezing,
weve allowed the plant to spread its seeds. While the plant needs
us for this life-spreading task, it punishes us with a prick of a
sharp thorn if we get too close. The plant warns us with silent
cleverness, You can look, but dont touch.
Plants and trees know that fruits, which are both tasty and easy
to consume, will better attract animals and birds to help scatter
seeds. Not only that, plants somehow know that to survive the
guts of birds, rodents, and monkeys in order to later spread the
genes they contain, their nuts and seeds must be hard to digest.
The plant is not only able to recognize natures variety,
knowing the differences between humans, birds, and bees but
also must be able to decipher how to interact with each specific
creature in a way that is mutually beneficial. The tree has an
agenda of its ownunable to relocate physically, this type of
plant uses other creatures from nature as a means to leave its
legacy. The private world of each species overlaps at some level
for mutual cooperation and sustenance. Each is a world within
a world, a universe within a universe, all communicating in an
intricate network of interdependence.
What is this intelligence within us, powering the
connectivity between all inhabitants of the universe?
Think of a seed. Would you consider it to be complicated?
Would you consider the seed to be intelligent? Watch the seeds
response to sunlight, soil, water, and air, and the answer is
clear. The seed knows exactly how to interact with the nature
that surrounds it. All life forms bear such an immaculate
intelligence. This intelligence, which is our very essence,
permeates every living thing and is responsible for that
mysterious interdependence seen throughout the world. It is
this intelligence that draws seemingly different entities together
to work as a whole. If we set aside this human-centered mentality
for just a momenta more comprehensive picture emerges.
If all of these ecosystems function in a marvelous
contingent, you may wonder why we encounter natural
calamities from time to time.
After years of research, geologists have discovered that what
we humans consider to be natural disasters are actually justifiable
acts from natures viewpoint. These eventsfloods, hurricanes,
and tornadoesserve to redistribute natures great resources.
Like any enterprise working in a contingency, redistribution
of resources is absolutely essential. Unfortunately for humans,
this natural distribution can result in utter devastation of our
microcosm, all the while serving to protect and provide for the
universe at large.
 The intertwined nature of the universe is grounded in
the fact that everything, from the smallest atoms in our
bodies to the largest galaxies, goes through life cycles.
The cycles can be characterized by phases: startup, growth,
expansion, maturation, and dissolutionthe cycle of life is
ubiquitous.
Because we are recycled from elements of the universe, we
share an extraordinary number of similarities with all of its
inhabitantsboth living and nonliving. Looking at a mountain,
it is hard to fathom that we have much in common with the
monstrous landmass. But we have more likeness than meets the
eye. Mountains are made up of limestone, a calcium carbonate
that also exists to form the building blocks of our bodies, our
bones.
As a physician, I am constantly amazed when I prescribe
ferrous sulfate (an iron supplement) to an anemic patientat the
fact that something we find in soil becomes so vitally integrated
into our life that it powers us to survive. An endless recycling
of resources works to recreate the possessions of this universe.
The new is granted life only by dissolution of the old.
What makes up you and me is nothing more than loaned
material from nature. When our life cycle is concluded, we
refund everything that nature has loaned us to birth new life.
Our bodies encompass the result of the universes history, the
lessons it has learned, and the solutions that have evolved to
ensure our survival.
From the largest ocean to the tiniest insect, all things are
merely elements assembled in unique patterns using existing
resources to create millions and millions of specific life forms.
This spectacular transformation, this recycling between one
living entity and another, has been called many names throughout
history, including reincarnation and the proverbial rebirth.
This endless continuum gives the many forms of life an
immortal entitlement.
The famous mystic Rumi expresses this idea poetically:
I died as a mineral and became a plant,
I died as plant and rose to animal,
I died as animal and I was Man.
Why should I fear? When was I less by dying?
The more we continue to peel away and isolate the layers
of nature, the more we realize that something is missing
something that connects all of these layers. We obsess over the
search for this ultimate equation, a theory of everything.
But the complete equation is right in front of our eyes,
wherever we look.
After digesting the many accounts provided by science,
religion, mythology, philosophy, and the like, we come to realize
that perhaps the cause is the effect. Perhaps the answer doesnt lie
beyond us, but within us. The key to understanding the universe
is much less complicated than comprehending complex theories.
A childlike naivety is the tool needed to crack this mysterious
casethe ability to see things simply for what they are.
The universe represents the creators timelessness, and its
beginnings and ends are merely transformations from one form
to another. In this context, Lao Tzu observes, The reason why
the universe is eternal is that it gives life to others as it transforms.
 In the Venn diagram of life, the universe and the creator
dont dwell in opposite circlesthe creator takes on many
forms to become the created.
Here, the term creator connotes the intelligence within
each of natures beings that is responsible for the magnificent
interworking of this enterprise we call the universe.
The life force powering it all, within each of us, is limitlessly
reflected throughout the tangible universe. Because you and I
are very much a part of this universe, an essential part of this
immortal whole, we are a direct echo of that sublime essence.
Each of us, everything out there, is a reflection of that Unbound
Intelligence, the reality of which we exert tireless energy trying
to comprehend.
Look for the life force, the essence of creation, within you.
Looking outside of yourself in an attempt to experience this
Truth will only result in distractions from dogmas and theories.
When Carl Sagan said, We are the universe experiencing itself,
or when Jiddu Krishnamurthy said, You are the world, this is
exactly what they meant.
Whether you are a scientist, philosopher, theist, atheist, or
whatever you may consider yourself, the search for the Truth
starts and ends within.
 Part III

Timeless Traditions
On our quest to find our true selves, weve delved into three
aspects of our lives that we consider to be timeless: God, love,
and the all-encompassing universe.
The next step on our journey to self-discovery is the study
of our manmade influencesthe systems that weve established
during the process of evolving from hunter-gathers to the
civilized people we are today. From a world of eat or be eaten
to a time legislated by established norms and traditions, we have
come a long way since the dawn of time.
Behind every norm, there is a somewhat logical justification
for how it once came into existence. Its our job to first
understand those rationalizations so that we have sufficient
information to decide whether or not wed still like to adhere
to those traditions. What we make of other people and how we
see ourselves depends on what we know of the world, what we
believe is possible, the memories we have, and the way our minds
have been conditioned to perceive our surroundings.
Our abilities to cope with the uncertainties of life are
majorly influenced by the context in which we view these
reservations.
Each civilization, each religion, each nation, each family, each
profession, each gender, and each class has its own historically
established frame through which it views the world. We are
conditioned to look through this lens and, in essence, back to
the past to develop our understanding. These lessons act as a
guidebookand while the intention is to help us along the way,
sometimes these preconceived notions do nothing but cloud our
ability to view circumstances through an unbiased perspective.
Through this reliance on ideologies of the past, we carry on
the traditions and the deeds left by the deadin many cases,
subconsciously. For better or worse, we absorb the prejudices,
the beliefs, and the values of those who have come before
without our own internal review or, more often, without ever
even being aware of them.
In order to go beyond our limited view of the world, we
first have to reflect on the origins of our own perceptions, for
example, our familial and social conditioning. Our frame of
reference is shaped not only by our memories, habits, and
experiences but also by our parents, communities, places of
worship, education, and popular mediaall of the cultural
systems to which we belong.
This complex construct we refer to as our personality or
identity is something so dear to us that we passionately
protect and nourish it.
However, instead of unifying the many facets of our identity,
social conditioning has created conflict, stress, and isolation. If
you look at our environment through the lens of these manmade,
arbitrary divisions, the world appears at odds and endlessly
conflicted.
By earnestly dedicating time and energy to the inquiry into
our own creation of social constructs, we will be able to look at
the reality beyond our conditioning.
 Chapter Six

Religion: What is the Truth

Behind Faith?
 Dont waste your time with explanations:
People only hear what they want to hear.
Paulo Coelho

Of all of our self-identifiers, perhaps none is more pertinent

than religion.
We characterize ourselves through the descriptions dictated
by our faith or lack of thereof: I am a believer in Christ, my
savior, I believe in Atman, I am submissive to the will of
God. These concepts are passed down from generation to
generation, serving as the foundation of our faith.
To deal with the uncertainties that life throws our way, we
seek answers from an array of sources. Science, which often
provides answers that appeal to our superior logic, falls short
when lifes calamities grow beyond reason.
Uncertainty is the enemy of everyone.
We crave relief from the insecurity of the unknown and will
cling to any authority willing to provide a sense of clarity and
comfort.
This is exactly what separates humans from all other life on
earththe concept of belief. For most of us, an acceptance of
something supernatural gives a sense of purpose and direction.
This is the very foundation of all belief systems: Hope of a
better future, either in this life or the next.
Followers are expected to turn to lessons from their scriptures
when faced with lifes many challenges. For instance, followers
of Abrahamic traditions are told:
When you are hurt by the people who share blood
relations with you, recall Yusuf, who was also betrayed
by his brothers.When you find your parents opposing
you, recall Ibraheem, who was made to jump into a
blazing fire by his father. When you feel lonely, recall
how Adam felt when he was created alone. When you
cant see any logic in whats going on and your heart asks
why this is happening, recall Noah, who built the biggest
ship without questioning
By accepting the ideals, we gain a newfound ease in the
face of uncertainty.
Often, this belief will root permanently in our minds, and
a non-negotiable faith in our transcendent ideals emerges. But
some of us cling so strongly to these ideologies that we act
against our survival instinctswilling to put our lives on the line
to defend our beliefs.
To a large extent, how we view the world is significantly
influenced by our faith and almost always determined by what
we believe. If we adopt a new faith, we are merely changing the
prism through which we look at the world.
Observing the origins of a belief system can be an eye-opening
experience for even the most devoutly religious individual. What
youll often find is that religion today is not quite what many of
the founders had hoped it would be.
Across cultures and throughout history, we see that few
individuals have been able to sufficiently understand the deep
spiritual questions that connect the worlds many religious
traditions. Likewise, few spiritual leaders have stepped up to
the plate and proclaimed the possibility of a single, universal,
sublime entity and laid down pathways toward this unity for
their followers. Those who have are regarded either as radicals
or reformists, depending on the sentiment of the masses and
the opinion of the ruling class. But one human characteristic has
transcended across all cultural boundaries:
We rely on enlightened leaders to navigate through the
mysteries of life.
During the ancient Roman rule of Israel, the society became
segmented into two distinct groups: Every person was born
either a Jew or a Gentile. Those of the Jewish faith worshiped in
the temple of Jerusalem and followed the laws of Moses. All the
rest worshipped many gods and did not embrace the beliefs that
could unite them. The Jewish people faced hardship imposed by
a dual tax structure, in which they were taxed by both the Temple
and the Roman monarchy. Faced with religious polarization, the
people longed for a force to reconcile the different practicing
faiths so that the fragmented society could be guided as one.
Around this time, a young man traveled the land spreading
a spiritual message based not on prevailing practices but on his
own direct experience. He excited the people with a message
of hope that a kingdom greater than Rome existed. He gave a
promise that a merciful God would provide even the poorest
members of society with relief.
Unlike leaders of the past, his message was not blanketed
with political promises, quoted from scriptures, or written down
by him or his followers. He didnt identify with any existing
religion, practice, or cult.
This new inspirational leader challenged everyone to think
hard about the nature of a transcendent God and to ponder
ethics and moralitya task often reserved for the religious elite.
When he spoke, people simply listened and remembered.
This man: Jesus of Nazareth.
He intrigued people with his belief in the kingdom of Heaven
and the promise of salvation. Romans were quick to cast out his
ideas as irreverent abominations, rebellious, and nave.
Jesus refused to follow the masses. He sought solitude. In
fact, half of Jesuss life goes undocumented, perhaps attributed
to this extended absence. It is noted that he filled 40 days and 40
nights with nothing more than internal questioning. He refused
to accept both the prevailing authority and the popular faith, and
only then was he able to realize the Truth he had been seeking.
Undeniably, despite the powerful Roman push against Jesus,
his message profoundly affected those who were looking for
that unifying force. People believed in his idealsand their
commitment only strengthened after his death.
Buddha, Muhammad, and Moses take root.
During the time that Jesuss influence spread across most of
the West and Middle East, another historical work was taking
shape. A collection of teachings and discourses by another man
who had lived about 500 years earlier was first being committed
to writing.
Born into a royal family, Prince Siddhartha began his
search for spiritual wisdom by attempting to follow the rituals
and practices of the prevailing traditions. After failing to find
gratification within these models, he discarded established ideas
completely; instead, he embarked on an inward journey of
self-inquiry. Through internal reflection, Siddhartha found true
peace and wisdom.
He became Buddha, the enlightened one.
Although Hinduism was already acting as the great unifier at
the time, people were lost in its complex rituals. While he did
not identify himself with any particular religion, Buddha distilled
the very essence of Hinduism into a simple and organized set
of instructions. Rather than offering empty political promises,
he provided a new belief in the power of morality and ethics.
Buddha was not interested in being the head of any organized
sect, nor did he call himself a god. Compassion toward all living
beings was his focused message. After much contemplation and
internal searching, Buddha concluded that Truth could only be
realized by forsaking the heavy weight of mindless rituals and
fossilized conditioning.
Similarly, a merchant named Muhammad who was discontented
with his life craved answers to his many doubts. Failing to achieve
fulfillment from the testaments of the popular faith or from the
accumulation of material possessions, he sought solitude in a
cave. Here, Muhammad (who was later deemed a prophet) found
the light and finally discovered satisfying answers within.
After the era of inspiration led by these enlightened men,
pathways to spiritual wisdom were established in every culture
and religionwith the masses mirroring the journeys of these
devout leaders in hope of attaining similar liberation.
Irony lies in the legacy of these great prophets.
 Almost all of the founding prophets had in common their
refusal to accept the practices of the masses. The aim of these
icons was not to produce wise Hindus or Jews or Christians or
Buddhists or Muslims, it was to produce wise, self-aware men
and women. Ironically, their insights laid the groundwork for
religious institutions consumed by non-negotiable doctrines.
The beliefs of faith-based establishments laid the
foundation of our morality.
To govern the individuals of each group, a system of rewards
and punishments was put into place. There are consequences
for actions that dont align with the tenets that curtail such
free-spirited behavior.
Many religious tales recount the establishment of these
morally guiding commandments. One particular Judaist belief
explains that God gave Noah seven commandments to obey
after he saved Noahs family from a flood, which go something
like this: Establish courts of justice; dont commit blasphemy;
dont commit idolatry; dont commit incest or adultery; dont
commit bloodshed; dont commit robbery; and lastly, dont eat
the flesh of a living animal. While these principles are considered
holy by some, most of them actually serve a greater, non-secular
purpose and have functioned as the foundation of many legal
and ethical codes throughout history.
Along with establishing a moral compass, the religious groups
worked hard to rationalize their beliefs.
Groups constructed testimonials to support their ideals
and discarded conflicting evidence.
The bulk of each group adhered strictly to the majority
rule, while others questioned the facts and logic behind the
ideology. For instance, in Judaism, the traditionalists are known
as Sadducees, those who adhere to the original interpretation of
the belief systems, while Pharisees differ in some of the ideologies
by modifying orthodox trends.
What makes us incapable of seeing the oneness of God
across religious boundaries?
If we all believe in a transcendent, formless ideal and speak
of universal brotherhood, why is it that we denounce all religions except
our own?
As Orson Scott Card observes in Speaker for the Dead, We
question all our beliefs, except for the ones that we really believe
in, and those we never think to question. We view all other ideals
as pretentious, no matter how similar the underlying attributes
of each higher power may be. Although many religious cultures
share one transcendent ideal, this almighty entity is meticulously
personalized by each major religion.
Christians describe God in terms of a union of three perfect
persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, which comprise the Holy
Trinity. Bound by perfect love, the Trinity is the ultimate model
of true personhoodone entity embodying many beings.
Another belief defining Christianity is the resurrection
of Jesus Christ. The acceptance that Christ was crucified for
our sins, died, and was resurrected is not to be argued within
Christianityyou either believe or you are not rightly Christian.
To Christians, the belief in certain concepts like the Holy Trinity
and resurrection is absolute.
Metaphors and symbolism give life to and reinforce our
preferred justifications.
 Hindus believe in an atman, for instance, as a permanent soul
centered within each of us. Believers have built many rituals and
metaphors around this ideal. The individuals who are able to
achieve such high understanding are considered pious, earning
the title of guru. Those who question the ideals are labeled as
skeptics and considered to be void of spiritual knowledge.
The consequences of doubt within religions lead many to
accept such premises as a matter of convenience and as a means
to avoid criticism. I am not attempting to question the legitimacy
of religious beliefs. I am merely revealing how ideals become
accepted within a society.
You are what you believe.
Each religion tends to develop areas of focus that make
its ideology unique. The concept of karma in Hinduism and
Buddhism, the donning of a hijab (veil) for women in Islam, and
the staunch anti-abortion stances in Christianity are all salient.
Meanwhile, issues like corruption, dishonesty, infidelity, domestic
violence, child abuse, and bullying are more tacitly accepted.
Under the influence of any religious entity, the beliefs become
strongly imprinted into the psyche of each individual involved.
So strongly, in fact, that it becomes one of the first characteristics
that individuals use when asked to identify themselves. Each
ethnic and religious group develops a special identity that
inherently separates itself from others.
These beliefs become an almost tangible authority to
which all of the members are bound.
By being a good Christian, I will attain salvation; or, by strictly adhering
to the Buddhist dharma, I will reap the benefits in my next life. The
promise of a better life for following the prescribed sacraments is
the underlying reward. When accepted by the masses, the beliefs
and perceptions become the prevailing ideology. This sense of
loyalty excites the members with an unrivaled passion, to the
point that some followers will willingly sacrifice their lives or the
lives of others to uphold the groups beliefs.
What is so appealing about actively participating in religion? Sharing
faith helps people to cope better in extreme circumstances.
Research has revealed that people with strong religious or
spiritual identity have longer life spans and better coping
capabilities for lifes unexpected surprises. Just as described by
Euclids common notionsthings which coincide with one
another equal one anotherpeople subscribing to common
faiths see themselves as part of a brotherhood. Shared faith
fulfills various human emotional needs, such as being loved and
belonging to homogenous groups.
People with faith have something to lean on in times of
uncertainty.
Faith provides strength to the living when their loved ones
passa promise that they will be taken to a better place, an
alternate realm of existence. This is the very reason that those
of us with faith in a transcendental force are less cynical about
lifes challenges. Faith gives hope. It offers comfort.
We dont believe just to believe.
We believe in an ideal for the fear of what would happen if
we were to live without faith. But our passion for our strongly
held ideals doesnt stop there.
With the establishment of a groups beliefs comes a
phenomenon exclusive to the human psyche: Holiness. Any
ritual, symbol, or text directly related to the core belief is said
to be holy. The water used during Christian baptisms, the paper
upon which the words of the Quran are written, the coconut
offered to Lord Shiva, the meditation beads in Buddhism
all of these seemingly arbitrary objects at some point became
consecrated and declared sacred.
We are convinced that we will be rewarded with a type of
salvation.
As humans, we consider ourselves incomplete. To compensate
for our inadequacies, we perform rituals in an attempt to close
the gap between ourselves and the divine.
Although a majority of people will forever run through
the motions of so-called holy practices, once in a great while,
someone comes out of the imposed belief system and sincerely
questions its idealssetting out in search of the Truth by way
of self-inquiry. Then, if enough people trust in this newfound
wisdom, these fresh ideals spawn a new belief system.
This cycle typifies our state of affairs.
Unintentionally, all of the founding prophets attempts to
unify humanity resulted in the creation of organized systems
of strict rituals, polarizing comparisons, and life-threatening
competition. The goal of self-inquiry into the marvelous creation
was lost. The results included a hefty price of persecution,
execution, and bloodshed, with scores of people exiled and their
communities destroyed. Through this process, some creeds
became oppressed and eventually perished, while others took on
the role of the oppressors.
As with any strongly held conviction, defending our ideals
becomes a passionate priority. Once a group establishes its own
doctrine or core belief, the next tasks are to safeguard it from
attrition from outside influences and to spread it to the masses.
For this, individuals within each group are selected, trained, and
entrusted to protect and communicate those values. These men
and women are the custodians of the quintessential ideals that
form the groups foundation. As defenders of the faith, they
are expected to uphold the customs and rituals with utmost
reverence.
For Hindus it is the Brahminsthe scholarly class
that leads the way.
This group spends a significant portion of their lives studying
scriptures, performing rituals, and rigidly practicing the moral
codes specified within the holy books. These spiritual leaders also
occupy positions within society like ministers and counselors for
political rulers and kings. Brahmins study the distinctive features
of Hindu heritage and work to hold fast to tradition to keep
the culture alive. Over time, the Brahmins role as guardians of
Hindu culture has diminished, but they are still entrusted with
priesthood within the Hindu community.
In Christianity, it started with the apostles.
The 11 messengers of Jesus were commanded to spread
the gospel during his final days on earth. The apostles set out
to teach the Christian ideals to the succeeding generations and
to pass the torch, if you will. From the seed of the apostles
ministry grew the Catholic Church.
For Jews, its the high priests.
In Judaism, the traditionalists formed the priestly aristocracy
entrusted to safeguard and spread the Jewish doctrine.
Extremely orthodox, the High Priests accept only the written
Torah. The Sadducees (the righteous ones) were also extremely
influential politically. The priestly responsibilities reinforced their
social status; in fact, the Sadducees represented the highest class
in early Judean society.
Within every faith-based tradition, each member of the group
agrees to forego certain personal freedoms, sacrifices a level of
free will, and adheres to the rule of religious authority. This
sacrifice uplifts the groups esteem and the members wear the
ideals as a badge of honor. Anyone questioning the ideals is
deemed a threat, an attempt to limit the groups uniqueness, and
dramatic efforts are taken to counter such doubt. Self-proclaimed
superiority often brews between differing faiths.
The passion becomes stronger than any other virtue,
even that of patriotism.
Although principles such as treat others as we wish to be
treated abound in all religions, some followers are all too willing
to kill or be killed to protect and uphold their religious ideologies.
American psychologist Abraham Maslow explains that once our
basic needs are taken care of, we crave a sense of belonging.
Yet a fine line exists between identifying with a group and
becoming irrationally obsessed with its ideals. Fundamentalism
has introduced many challenging psychodynamics, leading to
excessive loyalty and passionate prejudice.
All other ideals are considered direct opposition to a groups
established doctrine. In the Middle Ages, opponents were called
heretics, which simply meant to choose a different position in
debate. Over time, however, the term began to carry the added
connotation of denial and rejection of an established doctrine.
Thomas Aquinas, an influential Catholic priest, philosopher, and
scholar explains:
Heresy is a sin, which merits not only excommunication,
but also death. For it is a much graver matter to corrupt
the faith which is the life and soul than to issue counterfeit
coins, which supports temporal life.
Faith: A weapon of mass destruction?
Believing in a common ideal usually functions to the benefit
of societyallowing for an operative whole and systematic
organization of societal members. When beliefs become too
powerful, however, they can easily be misused and potentially
become detrimental.
Throughout history, faith-based authorities have risen
(and fallen).
Many gained extraordinary amounts of power and some
eventually lost it all. Take, for instance, the position of the Catholic
pope. Upon taking the role of pope, Gregory VII (10731085)
worked to reconstruct the entire political landscape in his
short, 12-year reign. In tracing back the history, we can see how
Pope Gregory VII rationalized his claim of power. Using the
established belief as his weapon, he asserted that his authority
came not from the earth but from God Himself. With such a
declaration, the people denied him of nothing, believing that any
abuse to his authority would be a direct act against God. Pope
Gregory argues:
The pope can be judged by no one;
The Roman church has never erred and never will err till
the end of time;
The Roman church was founded by Christ alone;
 The pope alone can depose and restore bishops;
He alone can make new laws, set up new bishoprics, and
divide old ones;
He alone can translate bishops;
He alone can call general councils and authorize canon
law;
He alone can revise his own judgments;
He alone can use the imperial insignia;
He can depose emperors;
He can absolve subjects from their allegiance;
All princes should kiss his feet;
His legates, even though in inferior orders, have
precedence over all bishops;
An appeal to the papal court inhibits judgments by all
inferior courts;
A duly ordained pope is undoubtedly made a saint by the
merits of St. Peter.
Before the tragic reign of Pope Gregory VII, Catholics
considered popes to be mere successors of Peter, the first Bishop
of Rome, who Catholics considered the first pope. During that
time, popes were not considered equal to God, they were only
considered superior to all bishops. It wasnt until Pope Gregory
VII that the role shifted from that of Vicar (representative) of
Peter to Vicar of Christ. After that, even kings and emperors
were considered the popes subordinates.
The pope stood at the top of the leadership hierarchy.
Gregory VII assumed sole power over all facets of life: law,
church, and politics and inherited the right to appoint and depose
of rulers. The power, which captivated the lives of many, took
the next 200 years to gradually decline.
 When misused, religious power is as dangerous and
uncontrollable as wildfire.
But there is no denying that it is by far the strongest unifier
of people. There were, of course, leaders who attempted to
unite people using tactics apart from beliefspolitical promises,
nationalism, and brute force. Without a belief as a foundation,
history has shown us that leaders struggle to unite people. Because
of this, even today, all nations have a belief system upon which
their laws, reforms, and constitutions are based. Nationhood
may be a type of territorialism that unites people, but without a
set of beliefs as a foundation, patriotism is short lived.
A trailblazer originally known for his leadership ability,
Genghis Kahn (born Temujin), set out to unite a fragmented,
seemingly unsatisfied society in the 12th century. But unlike prior
religious and political leaders, Khan lacked a belief that people
could get behind. Instead, he initially united many nations to
form one massive empire, the Mongolian Empire, using brute
force.
Before the rule of Khan, the Mongolsa nomadic tribe
suffered from poverty, food shortages, and vengeful violence.
This somber setting provided an opportunity for a new leader to
take control and attempt to unify and save the people.
Khan was the hope theyd been looking for.
When Khans reign came to fruition, he developed a new set
of laws called Yassa in an attempt to save the failing society.
Like most laws, his were designed to counter criminal behavior:
theft, violence, kidnapping, and the like. Yassa encouraged a type
of socialism in which all food was to be shared. Freedom of
religion was enjoyed. For men, joining the army was mandated,
as was the practice of fair war tacticseven enemy corpses were
to be treated with the utmost respect. Additionally, children of
conquered nations were to be adopted by surviving Mongols and
treated as equals, not as slaves.
At first observation, it appears as though the Torah (the
Jewish code) and the Dharma (the Hindu code) are no different
from the Yassa. But what the latter lacked was a core spiritual
ideal upon which the code was built. Moreover, this lofty code
lacked a role model that could live up to its ideals. For Mongols,
inspiration didnt come from the idea of compassion, eternal
love, or the promise of everlasting salvation. Instead, motivation
came from their trust in Khan and nationhoodan animalistic
drive to protect their territory. During this time, Mongols were
more successful than any of their Asian predecessors in erecting
a tribal-based state. They had set out to conquer the then known
world and ultimately created the largest-known empire in history,
which lasted less than 150 years.
If nothing more, Khan knew how to organize. Among Khans
accomplishments was his creation of a standardized Mongolian
alphabet, which led to the formation of a systematized delivery
system comparable to the current postal service. Thanks to the
messengers, communication took place on a massive scale
with the capacity for a message to travel more than 200 miles in
a single day. The delivery system served as a highly efficient army
of apostlesspreading nationalistic ideals.
What Khan accomplishedthe unification of fragmented
tribes into a powerful military strength, the creation of a written
language, and an organized postal serviceis shadowed by his
failures. All told, the Mongols, driven by pure patriotism, would
be remembered for little more than the murder of 50 million
people, a third of the conquered nations inhabitants.
 Without a principle ideal to unite the nations, Mongols
diminished shortly after Khans reign. After a period of brutal
violence, the Mongol Empire faded into nonexistence, proving
that attempting to unite using leadership and force alone can
produce only short-lived triumph.
Once a belief is absorbed into a groups psychology, the
identity overshadows the significance of the belief.
It becomes the focus of its members time and energy. If only
one ethnic or religious group existed on the planet, the obsession
with group identity wouldnt be an issue. But the world is an
ever-evolving melting pot of extremely fragmented divisions.
Groups instinctively guard their identity and defend their beliefs.
This mindset breeds tension between groups and, often times,
even confusion between individuals within the same sect.
History has shown that humans justify their acts in the
name of faith.
We justify wars in many ways. We call them wars of necessity
or the most just wars. As Neil Gaiman observes in American
Gods:
Theres never been a true war that wasnt fought
between two sets of people who were certain they were
in the right. The really dangerous people believe they are
doing whatever they are doing solely and only because it
is without question the right thing to do.
Our merciless acts and compassionate mindset can happily
exist side-by-side without any conflict when we justify our
behavior from the vantage point of our belief system. We learn
to be merciless to those who dont stand by our convictions and
to be compassionate to those who honor our faith.
 The initial cause of such conflict lies in a misunderstanding
of our own convictions. When it comes to faith, we rely solely
on someone elses experience and intuition. Instead of setting
out to find what true love is or what God is, we depend on
ready-made, memorized responses, some of which are seemingly
contradictory, yet we still fail to question.
Truth is closer to your jugular, Muhammad once said.
But memorizing a quotation such as this will not bring us any
closer to fully digesting its significance. We have to set out to
experience that revelation. Only then will we realize something
as true, instead of simply deciding whether or not to believe in it.
Some of those who were discontent with the prevailing
faith-based institutions turned to denial. The most vocal of
them became the prophets of secularism. While an underlying
apathetic trend appears to have increased throughout the years,
it is not accurate to refer to all of the individuals who say, I am
not religious, as atheists.
A man approached an Eastern spiritual master and said
sternly, I dont believe in your God.
The prophet asked, And what is this God you dont believe
in?
The man replied: The all-powerful being who sits atop the
heavenly clouds, controlling the world below.
The spiritual master replied:
And neither do I. I dont believe in that version of God.
Most of us assume that atheists are lacking in faith. But
atheists, like the followers of any other religion, are also believers
they believe, often absolutely, that there is no higher power.
They denounce the existence of a God. But they cant rightly
ascertain this with rock-solid conviction because they are
without tangible proof, much like their religious counterparts.
Silently, many of them are also searching. They simply dont
agree with the existing versions of God. A skeptical atheist is
one who is searching for answers. In her heart of hearts, she
yearns to know what God is. A cynical atheist, on the other hand,
is one who declares that there is no such thing as God merely
because he cant find one. He cant see past the metaphor, so he
fights it, ignoring the truth behind the ideal.
They take the metaphor literally.
We needed to describe God in a way that we could understand
using our limited perceptive capabilities. When defining
the transcendent, we use our human attributes with added
superlatives.
Consider the way the Quran describes Allah:
And if whatever trees there are on the earth were pens, and
the sea were ink with seven more seas to help it, the words of
Allah could not be exhausted; verily Allah is Mighty, Wise. Our
language falls short of adequately describing the transcendent,
which is the very reason we have so many descriptions and
metaphors attempting to at least touch on all that is God. As
Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu puts it, The Tao that can be told
is not the eternal Tao.
A visitor once asked the revered Indian sage Ramana
Maharshi, Have you seen God? And if so, can you enable me
to see Him?
He replied, No, I cannot. For God is not an object to be
seen
God is the subject within you. Dont concern yourself
with objects.
 Its nearly impossible for us to imagine divinity without an
object of reverence. Naturally, a personalized image of God
emerges in our thoughts. While it seems logical to view God as
an object for the sake of convenience, there is vulnerability in
this practice. We become too attached to our self-constructed
images. Almost all the wars between religious groups are because
of this empirical misattribution.
We are stubborn, self-destructive conformists.
As humanity evolves through years of natural, cultural, and
social influences, so too does our image of God. Just as old
religions fade into the past, replaced by newer beliefs, antiquated
concepts of the sublime become shadowed by contemporary
depictions. This explains the number of gods and the multitude
of corresponding ideologies. We generally ignore these evolutions
because we are afraid of the consequences for questioning the
ideals weve been conditioned to accept as timeless truths.
Other animals fight to the death over matters of territory and
food. Unique to humans, however, is that we fight for our beliefs.
Why? Because we identify with our beliefs so strongly that we see
tremendous survival significance in our convictions. We feel that
our beliefs have to be protected from the influence of others.
No one expresses their anguish about this attitude better than
Michael Crichton in The Lost World. He explains his discontent
with our inability to think for ourselves because we find it too
uncomfortable in this way: But at a time when our behavior
may well lead us to extinction, I see no reason to assume that
we have any awareness at all. We are stubborn, self-destructive
conformists.
Weve become mere survival machines.
 Weve caged our intellect and insight into narrow frames,
following sets of instructions all in the name of salvation or, at
the very least, the promise of a better future.
As for believers, if we feel that our ideals and doctrines
are indispensable and everlasting, we are blissfully ignorant to
what history has taught us. None of our beliefs are immune to
attrition when we examine the spiritual space of our minds, we
find conditions, doctrines, fear, submission, and authority. All of
these mental roadblocks work to cloud our abilities to find the
answers we are actually looking for. Occasionally, someone like
Jesus, Buddha, or Muhammad will come along to lift this veil of
ignorance, but we attempt to cage their insights within a belief
system and an abundance of rituals.
With authority comes restriction of free will.
Looking at how humans have struggled to protect their ideals,
well notice how the mind plays various tricks in an attempt to
protect a group identity. As a survival tactic to defend our groups
distinctiveness, our concentration on better understanding the
Truth shifts to merely defending our religions authority. Think
of freedom of expression, which today is considered a right and
often conflicts with religious authority. In general, anyone who is
submissive to an authority, whether voluntarily or involuntarily,
has imposed upon themselves certain restrictions. And in such a
mindset, we naturally feel threatened when anyone questions our
faith and convictions. While acting defensively, we inadvertently
succumb to uneasiness, an irrational fear of losing salvation.
This fear breeds resentment. What began as an attempt to seek
spiritual enlightenment has now become egotistical warfare
between two belief systems.
 The cure for this malady of religious conflict is
transforming faith into fact.
Perhaps the most prominent similarity between the religious
leaders like Jesus, Buddha, and Muhammad is this: None of
these men believed in anything; they knew what they preached as
Truth. A belief is a blind faith in an ideology, but enlightenment
is the transformation to actually knowing. These men graduated
from believing in an authority to experiencing the quintessential
Truth that no particular institution can claim ownership over.
If the Truth behind these traditions and religions is subject to attrition or
is dominated by rituals, then how do we revive the Truth behind the belief?
Do we need a new religion?
Certainly not.
The Truth that claims to be universal must be continually
re-created and re-evaluated in our minds. In every generation, the
beliefs have to be experienced, otherwise they become fossilized
dogmas.
For instance, about 800 years B.C., Adi Shankara emerged
from the wreckage during a period of a morally void India. The
collection of scriptures, the Vedas, was in vogue, but its message
had been lost on the people who made the ritualistic practices a
habit while ignoring the insights of the text. By consolidating the
Vedas into a more digestible and meaningful piece of writing,
Adi Shankara was able to revive the philosophy of the text and
unite its followers once again. Along with his loyal disciples,
he traveled South Asia debunking the myths of religions and
enlightening the people with his transcendent interpretations.
In his timeless interpretation of the Upanishad philosophy,
Shankara powered men and women not only to make sense of
the Vedas, but to live by its message of Truth, love, and hope.
By actually inquiring into the Truth behind our beliefs, we are
free from fear and submission of ideals and doctrines. The best
part is that all of us are equipped with all that is needed for this
inquiry and eventually we will discover the answers weve been
searching for all along.
The origin of any religion is always the same.
Somewhere, a particular individual sets out to question
currently established, fixed beliefs and rituals and then embarks
on a journey to find the Truth through a path of personal
inquiry. If that person succeeds and finds the Truth that he or
she was yearning for, then that message is spread to the masses
in an attempt to enlighten them. By spreading messages of
hope and compassion, the leader unites otherwise fragmented
societies that are disheartened by their current failing or corrupt
systems. The belief in this newfound ideal roots itself strongly
into the consciousness of the peopleand they become devout
followers. The subjective experiences of these prophets become
the non-negotiable ideals upon which a religion is based.
Believers have gone against the hopes of their founders
and become so complacent in customs established by their
forefathers that they have never ventured out to discover the
Truth for themselves.
And so the cycle continues.
 Chapter Seven

Rituals: Are There Steps to Truth?

 Of all things to which the people owe their lives, the
rites are the most important.
Confucius

A speaker at a capping ceremony for young nursing students in

1938 spoke these inspiring words:
The nurses cap means to you what the soldiers uniform
means to him. When this cap is pinned on your head, it
means you have become a member of one of the noblest
professions and have subscribed to its ideals of service.
In the early 19th century, the nurses cap was placed on a high
pedestalto a nurse, the cap meant everything. The seemingly
trivial accessory embodied pride, sentiment, and hard work. To
emphasize the importance of this noble profession, capping
ceremonies functioned as a rite of passage that celebrated and
welcomed new nurses to the field.
The cap also held a symbolic authority. Nurses worked under
threat of losing their caps if they transgressed against hospital
policy. As the hallmark of a profession, it confirmed social status
and that a goal had been achieved. With its embodiment of
strong, independent womanhood, the cap became an inseparable
part of a nurses identity.
On the other side of the globe, a different capping
ceremony helped mark another milestone.
For more than 2,000 years, people of China have performed
the Coming of Age Ceremony, welcoming adolescent boys and
girls into the next phase of their lives. The ceremony is marked
by classic cultural costumes and historic capping ritualsall
performed before elders who ultimately deem the recipients old
enough to now take an active role in household responsibilities.
An honored guest delivers a congratulatory speech to the capped
adolescent, after which the youngster offers a traditional formal
bow.
Most of us are accustomed to similar rituals marking our
major milestones and achievements, many of which are passed
down from a long heritage, some even thousands of years
old. These rites of passage mark arbitrary transitions in our
life, though weve been conditioned to consider them timeless
traditions. The rituals tend to be associated with good fortune
and even promises of a celebrated afterlife, especially in Eastern
cultures. Some rituals have become so ingrained that they are
viewed as a means to attain salvation or divine blessing. To see
the truth in these traditional practices, we must understand the
role and purpose of rituals in our daily lives.
We live within the confines of established norms.
In Irinsh (Selected Writings on Ethics), Matsunaga Sekigo writes:
Between Heaven and Earth, there are three major ways:
the Confucian, which is the way of Confucius; the
Buddhist, which is the way of Shakyamuni; and the
Daoist, which is the way of Laozi.
 By subscribing to a particular way of life, we conform to the
beliefs and ideals prescribed by those practices, forever altering
the way we treat people and respond to life-changing events. This
strict adherence to customs ensures a level of uniformity among
all members within a given cultureeach sharing the same goals
and guidelines, and thus prospering more efficiently.
In the East, there is Hindu Dharma, Buddhist Dharma,
Confucianism, and Taoism; in the West, there is the Talmud
of Judaism, Sharia of Islam, and the Commandments of
Christianity, among many others.
The norms are devised to maximize survival by
regulating animalistic instincts.
The Torah, the collection comprising the first books of the
Old Testament, guides the Jewish community. Whether legal,
ethical, or spiritual, the issues of life are spelled out in the
Torahs 613 commandments. The most prized of these, the Ten
Commandments, form the core of two Abrahamic religions:
Judaism and Christianity. Conduct like relaxing on the day of
the Sabbath, prohibition from taking Gods name in vain, and
honoring elders is mandated of its believers.
In pre-Islamic Arabia, the introduction of Islam united
separate tribes into one cohesive community. Islamic doctrine
served not only as a set of spiritual convictions but also as a new
standard for conducting oneself. The religious laws of Islam,
called Sharia, are derived from the Quran, as well as the life of
the religions founder, Prophet Muhammad. These laws address
topics such as crime, politics, and economics alongside personal
issues like sex, hygiene, diet, and prayer. In fact, Sunnis, who
belong to the largest branch of Islam, derive their name from
Sunnah, Arabic for custom or code of behavior.
These codes serve as lifes playbook, our societys
established protocols.
Through the established norms, laws, and customs inscribed in
our scriptures, we express our cultural identities. Matters ranging
from conduct of warfare, ethics of commerce, protection of
the environment, human relationships, and religious rituals are
instructed in our written testaments. Before the era of modern
civic codes (constitutions, written laws, and even things like
employee handbooks), civilizations were essentially governed by
these religious principles.
In every scripture, no matter the faith, youll find suggestions
for all of lifes circumstances: mothering, fathering, financial
struggles, wealth, mourning, grieving, and so on.
Along with personal matters, religions in many parts of the
world also regulate matters of societal justice and contractual
agreements. Sharia, for instance, addresses taxes, trade,
inheritance, marriage, and divorce. Such laws include rules
against adultery, incest, and rape. The Ten Commandments
forbid theft, murder, and forgery. Similarly, the Laws of Manu
(written by ancient sages) established the instructions for society
by providing guidelines for all social classes in ancient India.
By conforming to these behavioral guidelines, each society is
permanently influenced, creating a lasting, cohesive view about
the world and how to both survive and prosper in it.
The problem: The rate of our modernization outpaces
that of our established norms.
These social standards continue to evolve over time into
culture-specific behavioral patterns. Modern people, however,
frequently find themselves unable to reconcile antiquated
norms and rituals promising a pathway to salvation with their
contemporary lifestylesthus dissonance sets in.
Why must I eat certain foods while being forbidden to eat others?
Why must I go to church or temple for service and worship when I can do
that in the convenience of my home? Why must I wear a veil covering my
face? To ease the friction, we act out against them, developing
elaborate reasoning for why we dont have to, or dont need to,
partake in such severe conformity. Our rationalizations arent
without consequences or their own complications, however,
resulting in thinking like this: I am a Christian, but I dont conform to
many of the principles of Christianity.
If you have such convictions, you are not alone.
Throughout history, many individuals have attempted
to customize and cherry-pick religious norms to suit their
temperament, to simply break away from the antiquity, or because
they felt called to steer themselves or others in a new direction.
If these individuals were able to enthuse the masses, then a new
denomination would arise, which (more often than not) still
retained the fundamental spiritual message of its predecessor.
A group of believers who didnt agree that a high priest should
act as Gods messenger, but who still accepted the Christian
scripture as the ultimate religious authority spilt from mainstream
Catholicism to form the Protestant faith. A group who shared
the core Jewish beliefsthe idea of one God and the sacred texts
of the Torahdeveloped a modified code of social conduct and
emerged as Ashkenazi Jews. The denominations within Islam are
primarily set apart by politics. Buddhism became a movement
when a new path to enlightenment gained traction, but the core
spiritual ideas of Hinduism, like Karma and Samsara (the cycle
of birth and death), remained as its foundation.
If you feel personally discontented with certain norms dictated
by your religious authority, youre like the rest of mankind.
Youre probably hoping that someone, somewhere will emerge
to provide the right solution. You may also realize that it takes
a unique, rare personality to dedicate their life to developing a
more palatable version of an existing faith and its standard codes
of conductand an even more charismatic individual to excite
the masses to elicit that change.
Either you identify as religious and thus subscribe to
ritualistic practices, or youre an agnostic who dismisses
the role of religious rituals and rites of passage. In reality,
though, most of us personify facets of each.
How do we resolve this dissonance? If you understand the
justifications for rituals, your awareness should sufficiently
dissolve this conflict. A more adequate solution is to analyze
different aspects of regulated conduct for what they are and
what they are not.
A word of caution:
Do not simply replace your dedication to ritualistic practices
and spirituality with irreverence or, even worse, another set of
habitual behaviors. To step out of ritualistic reliance, you must
seek a long-lasting and perhaps hard-to-find reasoning.
Religious norms comprise a description of acceptable
conduct coupled with a spiritual component, which communicate
matters regarding the divine essence. These two practices jointly
serve as a guide for our way of life and set the paths that we
will forever follow. The uniformity unites society at large while
simultaneously reinforcing the bonds of family.
 When we think back to our first exposure to any religion,
we usually envision some type of prayer ceremony.
Regardless of the system of belief, when someone calls for
prayer, the majority of us will bow our heads and fold our hands.
Hindus ritualistically chant mantras. Catholics begin with the
sign of the cross, touching first their foreheads, then their hearts,
and then each shoulder. In Islam, a muezzin announces a call
to prayer five times a day, and the prayers are said in several
different postures, varying from standing to kneeling.
On the surface, prayer seems to be an opportunity to ask a
super-human force to grant our wishes and help us escape pain
and harm. This is often carried out by praising the Lord in our
prayers. But theres a far deeper meaning behind the seemingly
ritualistic act of prayer.
Perhaps the purpose of prayer is best understood through
the Hebrew term tefilla, meaning introspection. Prayer is meant
to evoke self-examination and reflection, leading to a better
understanding of ourselves and our relation to the rest of world.
It allows us to acknowledge and pay homage to the source of
our existence.
Setting a time to participate in the ritual each day gives you
the space you need to stop and reflect during your busy schedule,
ensuring the practice doesnt become neglected. If we dont
dedicate the time and energy necessary to learning the meaning
behind the act of prayer, it becomes merely a habit, a clich
protocol.
The recitation of mantras or psalms is central to prayer.
A mantra is the melodic and rhythmic expression of spiritual
ideas. By repeating a mantra, our minds internalize and become
conditioned to the imagery associated with the language. Sounds
only become meaningful if we give them meaning. It isnt the
words themselves that matter, but the specific imagery they
evoke. This imagery varies widely among cultures. Understand
that forcing your prayer or mantra onto another culture is futile,
as the meaning behind the holy words will be lost.
Rituals organize and celebrate lifes most important
moments.
In the life of a Hindu, for instance, all major milestones
completion of education, marriage, childbirthare highlighted
and sanctified in Vedic rituals. In fact, Hindus celebrate 16
sacraments, which begin at the time of conception and end at
the funeral, the last rite of the dead.
Catholics celebrate seven sacraments: baptism, Eucharist,
reconciliation, confirmation, marriage, holy orders, and anointing
of the sick. Jews celebrate similar rites of passage and offer strict
guidelines for handling death. Many Chinese cultures look to
the Analects of Confucius, conversations regarding ritualistic
acts, for similar life guidance. Rituals throughout all religions
celebrate similar life milestonesevents that would otherwise
cause anxiety without the safety net of proper moral guidance
and social support.
Monotony of rituals can transform a once meaningful
act into a mindless routine.
Repetition lets us execute a task while using less focus and
brainpower. It makes things automatic. Brushing our teeth,
getting dressed, turning on the television and scanning through
the channelsall of these actions are learned behaviors that
initially involve mental training. But as we become adept at these
tasks, they become habitual and dont require effort to perform.
To get the most out of a ritual, we must understand the
logic behind it.
Being a medical resident can be grueling, as your time is
swallowed up by tending to emergencies, code situations, and
general patient care. Residency leaves little time for breaks, let
alone a moment for self-reflection.
During my year as a senior medical resident, my colleague
Dr. Ahmed, a Syrian immigrant, would habitually ask the other
resident physicians, including myself, to respond to the hospitals
on-call pager during his daily prayers. Balancing this five-
times-a-day ritual, called the Salah, proved no easy task, but he
stuck to the prescribed routine even during his busiest clinical
rotations. Not even a medical emergency kept Dr. Ahmed from
partaking in the practice of Salah. As time went on, co-resident
physicians grew discontented with his dedication to prayer and
felt slightly taken advantage of every time hed hand over the on-
call pager, even though each Salah lasts less than seven minutes.
Immediately following each prayer, Dr. Ahmed would quickly
resume his duties, and hed always return the favor at a later time.
If all of the resident doctors had been Muslim, then everyone
would have understood the significance this action held for our
colleague.
Seeing that Dr. Ahmeds loyalty for his faith would not wane,
I couldnt help but wonder:
Why would a well-educated individual devote himself so
rigidly, so passionately, to a seemingly tedious practice?
Even coming from an Eastern culture known for its strict
ritualistic behaviors, I dismissed such practices as meaningless
and considered the Salah to be equally nonsensical. However, I
eventually concluded that if Dr. Ahmed committed himself so
fully to a ritual it must be somewhat worthwhile and decided that
these practices deserved a second evaluation. I began researching
the latent meaning behind these routines and ultimately realized
that they do serve an important macro-purpose.
Heres a basic primer on the Salah:
Every adult Muslim is required to pray five times a day.
Preparation for the prayer includes a quick cleansing, known
as Wudu. Muslims will rinse out their mouth and nose, hands,
hair, the nape of their neck, and their feet. The Salah is to be
performed facing the direction of Mecca during particular times
throughout the day, based upon the cyclical pattern of the sun.
The routine consists of four main physical elements among its
verbal components (all recited in Arabic): standing, bowing,
kneeling, and prostrating. When breaking down the components
of such rituals, I realized that a misunderstanding plagues many
of us.
We believe that rituals arise from myths, thus they are
inherently meaningless.
But when really looking at the act of the rituals, the logic
becomes clear. The cleansing takes into account that people in
any particular society are diverse in nature and the professions
of its members vary greatlyfrom construction workers to
doctors, janitors to politicians. Before one can revive themselves
psychologically, it serves best to refresh themselves physically.
The movements of the Salah stretch out and awaken the body.
The poses closely mirror those performed in yoga, proving
again the physical and also mental benefits. The verbal aspects
additionally aid the practice of meditation. Even when done for
just a few moments, meditation has a tremendous impact on
a persons overall well-being. Ultimately, all parts of the Salah
prepare individuals to return to their respective duties with more
concentration and vigor.
I understood that there is also a logical reason for strictly
imposing the Salah on its followers. The unfortunate fact
of the matter is that we tend to become lackadaisical toward
tasks that arent enforced. Apart from personal benefits, some
rituals aid in affirming a sense of group identity, creating bonds,
and nourishing interpersonal relationships. Ensuring that this
practice remains consistent is important.
What I realized from Dr. Ahmed is that we should always
look for the logic in what we believe. Our rational side should be
able to question our spiritual side, just as our spiritual side should
question our rational side.
Religious codes exist because they have to.
They are necessary barriers to combat our animalistic instinct,
which seeks to fulfill instant gratification and doesnt always
appropriately cope with life-changing events. Life constantly
presents us with situations that pit our rational thinking against
the promise of immediate pleasure. When faced with temptations,
we inherently experience three responses: impulsive action, gut
instinct, and learned response.
We are persistently scanning the environment seeking
pleasure.
Our choices regarding what we deem pleasurable and how
this influences our thinking are completely situational and
vary from person to person. Overpowering urges confuse our
inhibitions and can lead to embarrassingor worse, damaging
consequences. Although our instincts work wonders when we
may find ourselves in a fight-or-flight situation, they can some-
times prove detrimental in terms of long-term consequences.
Social norms aim at strengthening our reflective thoughts rather
than our impulsive nature. These codes work to achieve long-
lasting fulfillment rather than short-lived gratifications.
When faced with tough decisions, we tend to rely on our
self-proclaimed gut feelings.
Our rationalization for this is often unclear, yet we rely on this
knee-jerk technique for some of the most significant decisions
we make. Gut reactions can either be a useful ally or our own
worst enemy. In terms of nudging us to make decisions in which
we lack a more rational process, our gut responses work wonders.
But they can lead to costly and dangerous mistakes when used in
lieu of the logical solutions that are readily available to us.
Scientific research shows that the outcome of our gut
feelings is partly determined by the physiological state of our
bodies. This type of reliance on our own physicality may lead
to detrimental misinterpretations and poor choices. Not only
that, this type of intuitive decision making can result in a lack of
uniformity within a specific culture. It compromises the ability
of the group to effectively cooperate. Social norms combat this
behavior by presenting conduct codes as a more logical tool
readily available for use. This leads to our third characteristic:
The learned response.
When circumstances present us with challenges, most of us
do our best to react accordinglyin a civil and rational manner.
Throughout life, we develop habitual reactionslearned
responses, if you will. Systemized by norms, we react to many of
lifes hardballs in a predictable fashion, utilizing these ingrained
behaviors. Our scriptures offer hundreds of scenarios and
solutions to such experiences, customized for the society and
times in which they were written. They take into consideration
the far-reaching consequences of our actions, which is
something our instinctive decision-making tactics fail to do.
Withstanding temptations in life takes effort, and therefore
we seek a higher reward that trumps instantaneous (and often
short-lived) pleasure, such as the spiritual liberation or personal
salvation that many religions offer. Such results are considered
holy and beyond anything that earthly pleasures could ever
provide. This reinforcement of good behavior inseparably links
civic code to the spiritual essence of religion.
The interesting thing about conforming to these codes is that
even if you dont believe in any personal salvation or spiritual
liberation, you still reap benefits. Thats the beauty of how some
of these practices are organized. If you behave in a manner that
aids society at large, it most often benefits everyoneincluding
you.
In the Book of Rites, Confucius insists that, Of all things to
which the people owe their lives, the rites are the most important.
Confucius saw the purpose of ceremonies as a means to show
respect and subscribe to a social order. Adhering to these
standards forces people to recognize their responsibilities for
one another.
Although such habitual decision making aids in
rationalizing, it is not void of inadequacies.
A misunderstanding of societal norms can lead to illogical
reactions when we rely too heavily on these ingrained practices.
I once had a patient with depression who was personally seeking
admittance to the psych ward. About 10 years prior, her young-
adult son had passed away in an accident. Though devastated, she
accepted the nature of the circumstance as just that, an accident.
She mourned alone and later tried to move on with life. But as a
Jew, she was expected to grieve with her family in a specific way,
by gathering with them for seven days to mourn the death in a
ritual called Shiva. She was accused by her friends and family
members of not adequately mourning her sons death.
She carried an accumulated burden of not being
devastated enough.
Unable to deal with such accusations, she repeatedly requested
admittance to an in-patient psychiatry ward in an attempt to
prove to her family, friends, and the world that she was indeed
mourning enough.
As a society, we have adopted predictable grieving
patterns.
Because my patient dealt with her pain in her own way, she was
seen as violating the norm. As a consequence, she experienced
harsh and unnecessary judgment. Despite the fact that my patient
felt deep sorrow over the loss of her son, she was criticized for
leaving the established grief cycle too soon.
The primary reason behind practices such as Shiva is to
comfort and help the mourner overcome the devastating feeling
of loneliness that leaves the bereaved wondering how they can
possibly go on.
Ultimately, death hurts only the living.
Mourning is a time to reflect upon what it means to be alive
and what it means to die. Adequate mourning brings about
wisdom and an appreciation for life. Family and friends are
expected to lend a helping hand while the bereaved go through
this vulnerable phase. Dedicating substantial time to the grieving
process is encouraged by religious norms so that a new level
of awareness of life arises, and we are then able to spring back
with renewed wisdom. It is important to realize that the length
of grieving is not a reflection of the depth of love, and that
everyone grieves in their own way, independently of what society
expects.
Scriptures set such behavioral guidelines with the sincerest of
intentions, but in many cases the masses habitual practices have
lost all meaning and are no longer able to accomplish what they
were originally designed to achieve.
Mechanically turning beads, emotionlessly reading scriptures,
or dispassionately chanting mantras consummates nothing.
Why patterned behavior?
Orderly harmony in society is a necessary part of efficiency.
There can be no physical life without order and rhythm. This
systematic behavior is seen not only in humans but also in
various animals. Look at insects: ants, honey bees, etc., as they
work rhythmically to support each other and keep their worlds
in harmonic motion.
Without codes of conduct and habitual routines,
individuals cant unite to form a cohesive society.
Reminding ourselves of the logical justifications for these
ritualistic patterns opens the door to the comprehensive
machinery of habits. Simply breaking the pattern of these habits
is not an adequate solution. Instead, we must first understand the
futility of resistance in breaking a pattern. If that is clear, then
we will develop the ability to decipher what is good for us and
what is good for society at large. We must learn to differentiate
between untruth (staying in an endless cycle of conditioned
responses and routines) and truth (understanding the actual
reason behind such habitual behavior).
Problems arise when religions become so burdened by
numerous rituals that the practices become a barrier to
experiencing true love and compassion. Rituals need to be
re-interpreted, modified, or sometimes even eliminated from
daily routines so that we are not stuck in mindless monotony. But
when this order is changed, it must be in tune with the rhythm
of life.
By taking the time to learn and understand the nature of
rituals and customs, we come to realize that every tradition has
regulated human behavior by creating a norm. Some of these
instructions are designed with a macro-purposeto run the
community as a whole. Others celebrate lifes milestones or work
to bond the more micro-unit, the family.
We make a fundamental mistake by assuming that those who
are ritualistic are consequently more spiritual.
We erroneously assume that these customs alone are
the gateway to salvation.
Remember, you can be spiritual and not perform any rituals;
you can be secular and perform religious rituals; and you can
perform rituals of other religions while still believing in the
spiritual tenets of your own faith.
Sometimes, these customs can even be a hindrance to fully
experiencing the beauty in life. Dont let these customs define
who you are. After all, you are the one who created them in the
first place.

Chapter Eight

Scripture: What if I Cant Find Answers

in the Holy Texts?
 Only two kinds of people can attain self-knowledge:
those who are not encumbered with thoughts borrowed
from others; and those who, after studying all the
scriptures and sciences, have come to realize that they
know nothing.
Ramakrishna Paramahamsa

Nearly every human empire that has arisen in the world,

material and spiritual, has found some of its greatest crises on this
continent of Africa, writes W.E.B. DuBois, a prolific historian.
DuBois describes the impact of this religious influence, It
was through Africa that Christianity became the religion of the
world. It was through Africa that Islam came to play its great
role of conqueror and civilizer. But this distinction came at a
huge cost to the African natives he mentions.
The cultural landscape of Africa is inhabited by some of
the oldest civilizations in the world. The magnificent landmass
evolved from a tribal nation to one largely influenced by
European conquests. In the ancient past, African tribes were
content with the traditions that had been passed down from
their forefathers. Native explanations regarding matters of life
and death, moral values, and social norms for handling lifes
challenges were enough to appease the people of the great
nation. Until European cultures began to seep in, the indigenous
people of Africa spent a great part of their lives almost entirely
isolated from the influence of the rest of the world.
Over time, the tenets of the Abrahamic faiths spread to Africa
by way of Christian missionaries and Islamic activists.
These preachers came to the land with one goalto
spread the doctrines of their respective faiths to every
corner of the globe.
The first arrivals of Muslims and Christians to Africa paid
little attention to the native religions. Like many faith-based
institutions, these Abrahamic religions treated their holy books
as an authority. The traditional African religions, on the other
hand, produced very few formal written works, thus no final
spiritual authority was established. All reverence was paid to oral
history and ritualistic practices by religious leaders, kings, and
any other person deemed adept in spirituality.
The lack of scriptures led to the assumption that the
natives werent capable of legitimate religious observance.
The foreigners took advantage of the native peoples informal
religious atmosphere and used their own scriptural authority as a
means to convert the tribes to their respective faiths. Over time,
the natives willingly accepted these holy books as their authority
and devotedly subscribed to the ideals put forth in those texts.
In fact, these indigenous groups adopted the newly accepted
faith at the expense of their former beliefs, causing the former
beliefs to dwindle with seemingly less and less resistance.
Without scripture, an entire nations heritage fell
vulnerable to foreign religions influence.
 Now that is the power of scripture.
Similar spiritual invasions have occurred throughout history
in ancient Eastern civilizations such as India and China. Indias
native faith was able to survive the test of time and attrition to
a large extent, though the Abrahamic religions managed to exert
their influence on China, which lacked a scriptural manuscript
to serve as an authority at the time. The influence of Indian
scriptures was so strong that indigenous spiritual traditions like
Buddhism couldnt gather sufficient followers, even after they
flourished beyond the borders of their birth lands.
Serving as the source of our moral, spiritual, and ethical
values, religions have been one of the most compelling forces to
determine our thoughts and behaviors since civilization began.
But it is through our scriptures that our spiritual heritage is
immortalized.
The things we create, create us.
History reveals that scriptures molded our lives and thoughts,
our duties, and our conduct. A world void of such sacred manuals
would be a society stripped of its foundation. In the ancient past,
though, written scriptures as we know them today didnt exist. In
fact, scriptures traveled for years through no other medium than
word-of-mouthas a passionate and intense dialogue about
spiritual wisdom between a teacher and his students.
All faith-based traditions were built by prophets or sages
who spread their message through direct interaction with their
followers (and the followers of their followers). In Hinduism,
these traveling words of wisdom were called sruthi, which
translates to that which is heard. Upanishads (which are excerpts
from Vedas, the holy grail of Hindu scriptures) literally means to
sit down near the teacher.
 This verbal dissemination of spiritual wisdom wasnt relied
upon simply because of a lack of writing capabilities, but more so
because the sages and prophets understood the shortcomings of
the written word. Yet as populations expanded and civilizations
began to spread across territories, there became a dire need to
record the teachings in order to disseminate the message to the
masses.
Scriptures of the surviving belief systems were born.
Over time, the intimate exchange of spiritual wisdom
evolved into memorization and recitation of written words. The
practice resulted in a transformation from a once individualized,
enlightening experience into a collective affirmation. As religions
were immortalized through scriptures, two common threads
continued throughout the respective traditions:
First, the claim that each religions scripture is Gods
final word.
All religions seem to assert that their scripture is not just any
manual of codes and ethics, but the direct word of God and
the final authority for all aspects of human life. Because of this,
followers deem their scripture the absolute authority and leave
no room for any reasoning or inquiry into its message. Even the
thought of questioning whats mentioned in scriptures can be
considered utter blasphemy.
Second, all religions confidently assert that their own
prophet was the one and only true prophet.
These include Adam, Buddha, Jesus, Muhammad, the Bab,
and Bahullh, among others. From the oldest religions such as
Hinduism and Judaism to the most recent Bahi faith, it is easy
to find the recurring theme of each religion proudly proclaiming
that only it holds the ultimate word of God.
Another theme that has emerged throughout the worlds
religions is this:
The use of symbolism to compensate for the inadequacies
of the written word.
Describing abstract spiritual concepts is hard no matter what
the medium, but attempting to communicate such immaculate
ideas on paper is seemingly impossible. So, to help place these
concepts in a context that our minds could better understand,
the authors involved symbolismthe practice of associating
meanings and perceived inherent value with a word, phrase,
image, or object to express an ideal.
When trying to explain an abstract concept such as love or
compassion, we inherently use various forms of expression to
make the listener understand our intentions. We adapt written
narratives, metaphors, poems, symbols, acts, rituals, and hand
gestures in an attempt to adequately convey our ideas. Symbols
and imagery spawn from our creative urges. Likewise, the sages
and prophets had to use various forms of communication to
explain the transcendent concepts within the scriptures.
Spiritual expression through symbolism has given rise
to various artful traditions in religious practices.
Symbols are used to channelize our minds and to deliver
complex ideas in a mentally digestible fashionnot merely to
gratify our aesthetic sense. For Muslims, there is no symbol to
depict the One, but the Quran itself has become the sacred
symbol of God. Muslims ritually wash the pages of the Quran
and, once the pages become worn, dispose of them by floating
them peacefully down a river, burning them, or burying them.
Similarly, Jewish law commands that no document containing
the name of God be destroyed, including routine family and
business correspondence.
Hindu belief is based on the ideal that a Universal Spirit
manifests itself in all life forms. Using a trinity-esque symbol,
Hindus depict this underlying force in a way that resonates with
many followers. The Hindu trinity is comprised of three gods:
Brahma (creation), Vishnu (maintenance), and Siva (destruction).
These different expressions of one Absolute Reality have been
represented throughout history by many artistic symbols and
imagery.
The same concept of the transcendent is reflected with
symbolism in Islam. Of the 99 names given to Allah, there are
three characters in particular that represent multiple attributes
of this one nameless, divine ideal: Al-Khaliq (the creator),
Al-Mughith (the sustainer), and Al-Mumit (the causer of death).
Religious individuals project their faith onto these tangible
symbols; in turn, these objects become as highly revered as the
ideas they represent.
From childhood, we are trained to associate words with
concepts or objects.
These associations become so ingrained in us that we can
no longer detach the word and its meaning from its visual
counterpart. Imagine the word blue in your mind. Thinking about
this word immediately elicits the color blue in your thoughts. You
know what blue is, thus instinctively it feels like youve always
known. But an object reveals its color only in the presence of
light. People who are born blind live in a world devoid of color;
therefore, the word means absolutely nothing to themeliciting
a completely different mental response, or none at all.
Similarly, people who are from different religions are
essentially blind to our religious conditioning and dont
share the same spiritual imagery.
This mental conditioning is culture specific. Hindus, for
instance, associate gold not just with material wealth but also
spiritual prosperity. The association is so passionate and
widespread that India is by far the worlds largest gold consumer.
India utilizes gold more than China, the United States, Saudi
Arabia, and Russia combined. Why? Because when Hindus see
or hear about gold, they dont merely think of it as another
precious metalto them it is the unequivocal symbol of spiritual
abundance.
This type of conditioned imagery sticks with us throughout
our entire lives, usually only becoming stronger over time.
We are seemingly over-zealous toward our cultural
symbols and equally indifferent to symbols of other
cultures.
Just as the word blue elicits a distinct image in our minds, the
word God evokes a specific response based on what weve been
taught.
Because we feel so passionately about our own religious icons,
it is easy to take for granted the meanings we place upon these
arbitrary symbols. Imagine not knowing the symbolic reverence
of the Quran. To a non-Muslim, the pages might equate to
nothing more than those of another book. But once people
were taught the symbolic representation, they would experience
a conditioned revelation. Rather than viewing the symbol as
irrelevant, the enlightened person would instead regard the ideal
with high esteem.
Similarly, consider the image of the Goddess Kaali, which
embodies many symbolic representations. Unless a person is of
Hindu faith or has been taught its meaning, the image may seem
surprisingly unfamiliar. Kaali is a female figure in a dancing pose
wearing a garland of human skulls. She bears four outstretched
arms and a third eye on her forehead, each symbolizing something
specific and sacred. To a devout Hindu, the dance represents the
whole universe with its ever-changing diversities, the four arms
represent the four Vedas of Hindu scriptures, and the third eye
represents knowledge of the absolute Truth.
Religious symbols serve as our holy Pavlovs bell,
triggering a learned reverence for the ascribed object of
worship.
If youre a Christian, imagine visiting a Buddhist temple for
the first time. Depending on the strength of your conviction
in Christianity, you may feel like a complete outsider. Trying to
blend in would feel unnatural, and such discomfort often elicits
unwarranted opposition. In your own place of worship, however,
you likely feel at home. This is merely a matter of habituation.
Unless you lift the veil of conditioning, you will be looking at the
world through a religiocentric lens, permanently tainting your
view.
With an open mind, it becomes clear that symbols used to
depict the Almighty equate to nothing more than an individuals
most revered and preferred expression of one unified and
sublime ideal.
 All of the forms of God idolized in religions were born
of a universal experience.
Religious founders described how they envisioned the
omnipresent. Then others quickly followed in an attempt to
experience a similar revelation.
When we understand the birth of symbols, we cant fault
anyone for not holding our unique symbols in the same esteem.
Although we are conditioned to experience emotional responses
to these depictions, we cant use them to completely replace
the Truth they represent. An intellectual explanation cant
adequately express an actual experience. Once you truly come
to know the spiritual concepts without the burden and instability
of established knowledge, you will forever know the futility of
such symbols.
This has resulted in fictitious boundaries between human
beings. Because each religion chooses its own unique way to
depict one ultimate Truth, followers of one faith often feel as
though they are at odds with followers of different beliefs. This
division, in turn, breeds tensiontension that often leads to
passionate feuds.
The meaning behind the Sanskrit word Brahma and the
Arabic word Al-Khaliq, for instance, signify the exact same thing
creator. Yet Hindus and Muslims are reluctant to acknowledge the
sameness behind these attributes. Why?
Because we are conditioned to believe that any view
contrasting our own must be untrue.
What sets apart symbolic understanding from discovering the
Truth is that the reality is not tainted by the attributed symbols.
No one will ever have to teach you true love, nor can any person
deny its existence. A person born free of religious influence is
still capable of feeling and acting in unity with all life, as well as
expressing compassion, freely and unconditionally.
To help bridge the gap between our transcendent
experiences and our linguistic limitations, we often use
metaphors to structure our thinking and lend a visual aid to
explain our ideas.
When we strive to define a sublime concept such as God or
Truth, naturally there is room for misinterpretation. Spiritual
ideas in the scriptures are also limited by the same inadequacies
as any written form of creative expression.
One major shortcoming of the written word is that the
communicator inevitably lacks control over the mind of the
reader, so interpretations will always vary. Think about yourself
reading my book now. When you interpret my work, your
understanding is uniquely framed by my choice of words, the
source of my language, my rationality, your rationality, and how
you were conditioned to comprehend these particular words or
the style of writing. Ultimately, each reader will innately interpret
a piece of writing through a narrow, individualized lens. The fact
is that no matter how clear we attempt to be in the linguistic
expression of our thoughts, we can never guarantee that others
will fully comprehend our intentions. The authors of scriptures
were not immune to such limitations. For this reason the Indian
mystic Osho observes, Buddha will be misunderstood.
Another shortcoming is the manner in which the message
is delivered. In the case of scripture, we are told to believe the
words without question. In essence, these scriptures claim to
have answers to all of the inquiries we introduced earlierthe
many existential questions of humanity. All religions, without
exception, proclaim: If you really want to know who you are, what to do,
what not to do, and the path that your life should take, read our scripture.
We sometimes fear thinking critically about holy texts because
we are presented with consequences for doubting the validity
that religions claim to possess.
People are basically coerced to believe.
You can see the true meaning of these scriptures only by
reading each passage as if there were no consequences for
questioning their words. With the understanding of the Truth
being the ultimate goal of reading scripture, it is up to us as
readers to utilize these texts as a tool for our own personal
journeys, not as a map that we follow without question.
St. Jerome once said, Every translator is a traitor. Each
scripture has its own vocabulary, which highlights yet another
inadequacy: translation. The beauty and essence of these works
is largely a result of the flavor of the language in which they
were originally written. Although they are translated into many
languages, reading and learning a scripture in its intended dialect
has a certain melody and symphony of its own that cannot
otherwise be achieved. As Robert Frost writes, Poetry is what
gets lost in translation.
Consider the text of the Tai Te Ching. It is written in classical
Chinese, which even the most highly educated, native, modern-
Chinese speakers fail to fully comprehend. Much of the verbiage
in these ancient languages has multiple layers of meaning, making
them especially difficult to translate.
As a result, these mistranslations are passed on to followers,
locking believers into religious dogma that may not even be
accurate. Consider the word repentance. This word is roughly
translated to mean forgiveness. When traced back to its source
language, though, a whole new meaning unfolds.
The New Testament uses two words that share many of the
same connotations as repentance, but they have two separate
meanings. One is metamelomai, meaning after regret, a natural
feeling. The other, metanoeo, literally means to perceive afterward,
hence signifying the act of changing ones mind or purpose
for the better. What the word repentance actually means is to
forsake old patterns, habits, priorities, and all things that have
controlled you. This speaks about a revolutionary change in our
thinking. It results in a shift in our understanding of reality, a
change of values, goals, purpose, and relationships. This is much
more inclusive than simply seeking or engaging in the act of
forgiveness. Without knowing the full spectrum of loaded words
like this one, we are inherently unaware of the most important
aspects of the meaning they bear.
Along with the confusion associated with mistranslations
comes an entirely new dilemma when reading into religious
scriptures: context. Because scriptural texts are written with such
specificity according to the time period and culture, one must
not only be able to navigate through the native language but also
have an appropriate understanding of the background of the
text.
Some fanatics, for instance, misinterpreted the Quran.
Through this glaring misunderstanding, misplaced
violence and brutality have been justified in the minds of
extremists.
The acts of these extremists prompted a mass misinterpre-
tation of the good-intentioned scriptures as a justification for
hatred and war. These individuals, conditioned to distrust all
non-muslims, have used isolated verses of the Quran written
more than 14 centuries ago to support their hostile and intolerant
actions.
When read outside of its intended context, many passages
from the Quran seem to encourage violence against non-Muslim
believers. Consider: Kill the idolaters wherever you find them,
and capture them, and blockade them, and watch for them at
every lookout Quran 9:5.
Careful analysis of the Quran in the societal climate in which
it was written will reveal that such quotes in no way suggest the
murder of those who simply refuse to accept its belief system.
What contemporary extremists fail to read (or perhaps
deliberately overlook) is not only that imperative context but
also the blatant fact the Prophet Muhammad never encouraged
the execution of non-believers. Instead, Muhammads message
instructed Muslims to defend themselves, as a measure of
protection, against those who had declared war on the Muslim
community many centuries ago. The message of the Quran
has been so grossly misinterpreted that, ironically, fundamental
extremists became the very violent persecutors that Muhammad
warned against.
Ultimately, to transcend these limitations, we must accept the
inner message of these manuscripts and also know why and how
these scriptures were put together in the first place.
Each scripture abounds with numerous affirmations
describing the divine visions of prophets and sages.
Such revelations are described throughout the Quran, which
is said to have been revealed to Muhammad by a higher power,
just as the Ten Commandments were revealed to Moses and the
great Indian epic Ramayana was revealed to the sage Valmiki.
 What are these revelations? Is there validity in these self-proclaimed
declarations? Who or what is the source of such enlightenment? Who is
revealing whatand to whom?
Scriptures attempt to depict these revelations as an expression
of what is otherwise beyond our ability to articulate. These
discoveries are often recorded in one of two formats, and
each helps shine a light upon the meaning and source of these
declarations. The first is as a dialogue between a teacher and a
student; the second is as an internal contemplation.
In a dialogue between an enlightened master and a student,
the teacher verbally expresses abstract ideas regarding our
innate, existential inquiries, and the student attempts to digest
such concepts. Knowledge is transmitted from the teacher to
the student, but the enlightened wisdom is not. Wisdom is only
achieved through the second experienceinternal contem-
plation.
After basic knowledge is achieved, an internal dialogue
may occur.
This may lead to what we call a revelation. These dialogues
are described as wisdom literally being shown to man.
A revelation is the product of our inquisitiveness,
contemplation, and discovery of answers to spiritual
inquiries.
However, when this internal dialogue is described in books
and scriptures, these epiphanies are construed as a dialogue
between two separate entitiesa God in the heavens and a man
on earth. Thus says the Lord is a recurring phrase throughout
the scriptures.
Yet the source of these revelations is, in reality, our own inner
wisdom revealing itself through deep contemplation. These
discoveries are the result of internal observation that begs to be
expressed through an external, often creative medium.
Because of our religious conditioning, we may never be
able to experience a true revelation.
For most of us, the moment we attempt to sit in silence and
contemplate the divine, we immediately project our conditioned
knowledge of Godthe God weve been taught to know. If
one billion followers believe in this ideal, it must be true, we convince
ourselves.
If you believe in it, you can experience it.
Once we internalize any belief as fact, we are conditioned
to have these beliefs color our experiences. For most of us,
when a religious experience seems out of the ordinary, we call it
spiritual.
We can only inquire into the real nature of God when
our thinking is not burdened by the images and descriptions
we are conditioned to believe.
If your mental space is already filled with religious rituals, sacred
commandments, and wondrous stories of divine intervention,
all of the transcendent experiences are mere projections of what
you already knew. Your epiphany is nothing more than a recycled
observationa copy of a tale you once heard and a product of
others memories and experiences.
It is only in complete silence, without any outside
influence, that you can come to understand the true nature
of the divine.
 Only when you understand the entirety of your thought
process can your mind make sense of all the noise that influences
it. This state is not induced by any ritualistic practices. This silence
isnt a thought, but a gap between thoughts. This is exactly what
occurs during true meditation. It is not a state of sleep or an out-
of-the-body experience, nor a trans-like state.
It is here, in this pure silence, that an internal revolution
can occur.
Here, our deepest questions regarding the nature of existence
are revealed. In this state, we may directly experience the life
source within. Trying to study the science behind such an
experience is of no use, because no objective experimentation
can validate this type of enlightened condition. It was in this
moment of utter silence by the side of that lake that I was first
able to experience the oneness of all beings when nature revealed
itself to me in its immaculate grandeur.
Although much of the focus is on the revelations of prophets
and sages, religious icons are not the only people who have these
experiences. From Democritus, the ancient-Greek philosopher
who many consider the father of modern science, to Richard
Feynman, the modern-day scientific genius, countless ordinary
people have experienced and documented these defining
moments of clarity.
Throughout history, the most celebrated scientists,
philosophers, and prophets who have shared their revelations
have warned against the superficial knowledge born of relying
solely on these written texts to obtain wisdom. Void of clear
insight, this is a source of conflict across cultures, and it results
in an ignorance-driven struggle. Many scriptures also warn
against the accumulation of merely superficial knowledge: He
that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow, Ecclesiastes 1:18.
Democritus elegantly described the inadequacies of
transcribed revelations in this way:
Of knowledge there are two forms, one legitimate, one
bastard. To the bastard belong all this group: sight,
hearing, smell, taste, touch. The other is legitimate and
separate from that. When the bastard can no longer see
any smaller, or hear, or smell, or taste, or perceive by
touch, but finer matters have to be examined, then comes
the legitimate.
In our life, memorization is our tool for training to
become someone.
We train to become a doctor, a professor, a musician, or a
lawyer by learning endless facts, skills, and practices. In a scientific
experiment, if a researcher makes a discovery, she documents
all of the steps that will lead to her conclusion. By following
those steps, one by one, we can make the same conclusion as
the original researcher. Similarly, in an attempt to overcome
existential challenges that life throws our way, we struggle to
follow the so-called formula of scripture to experience the same
blissful state as our spiritual icons. Various religious centers
encourage this formal studying of the sacred manuscripts to
train people in accordance with the words in the scriptures. The
Tablets of Bahullh instruct:
The sanctified souls should ponder and meditate in
their hearts regarding the methods of teaching. From
the texts of the wondrous heavenly Scriptures they
should memorize phrases and passages bearing on
 various instances.
Most religions claim: The more verses you recite, the
more spiritual you become.
In actuality, the written word is the result of someones deep,
inner contemplation, but we assume the opposite. We were told,
and so we believe, that the words of the scripture are the key
to enlightenment. The written word of these sacred texts is the
product of another individuals discovery of the Truth.
The words themselves will not lead to enlightenment.
Imagine that youve just met your soul mate and, in a state
of pure bliss, you dance with joy, shout with glee, and creatively
attempt to capture all of your enthusiasm with a pen and paper
because your elation cant be contained. Think of the proclaimed
phrases of love throughout history, like this one from Alfred
Tennyson: If I had a flower for every time I thought of you,
I could walk through my garden forever. Imagine a time that
youve creatively expressed that unalloyed happiness.
Then, try to picture others using your creative output in
an attempt to recreate your exact experience.
Sounds impossible, doesnt it? But that is what weve been
doing for hundreds and thousands of yearshopelessly
attempting to recreate a blissful state through the process of
futile memorization, recitation, and endless practice. We live in a
perpetual state of hope that, by forging in the footsteps of these
prophets, one day in the future we will be emancipated from all
suffering. Imitating the spiritual experiences of our predecessors
may seem intellectually satisfying, but to truly digest such
wisdom, it must ultimately be experienced ourselves. When
it comes to spirituality, we assume that the various forms of
spiritual expression are pathways to enlightenment when in fact
they are merely byproducts of enlightenment.
If you expect to attain spiritual liberation by adhering to
habitual monotony alone, you will be disappointed and
stuck in an endless, unfulfilling routine.
By conforming to the ideals laid down in scriptures, the
followers are habituated to the practices and rituals instructed
there. These form the followers routine, which establishes a
sense of comfort. But the natural consequence of any habit
is mindlessness. We stop thinking about the act. For mundane
tasks, this is essential for our survival. Charles Duhigg observes
in his book, The Power of Habit, Without habit, we would
spend inordinate amounts of time tending to the mundane but
necessary tasks of cleaning, clothing, and feeding ourselves.
For abstract concepts, however, mindless routine is counter
intuitive. By reciting and memorizing, your mind becomes
mechanical and stifleda state in which creative thinking has
no place. Such blind faith is exactly what these spiritual icons
warned against. We see the world through the experiences of
sages and prophets and assume that it is the only way. Indian
sage Ramakrishna expresses this truth in a simple yet profound
statement:
Only two kinds of people can attain self-knowledge: those
who are not encumbered with thoughts borrowed from others;
and those who, after studying all the scriptures and sciences, have
come to realize that they know nothing.
We limit ourselves to a light we see through a keyhole, while
the entire sun is right before our eyes.
Imitation is not spirituality.

Chapter Nine

Marriage: Is Marriage the Key to

Happiness?
 Marriage is called all sorts of things, a haven, and a
refuge, and a crowning glory, and a state of bondage,
and lots more.
Agatha Christie

On mankinds list of whats important, the institution of

marriage ranks highly among our many priorities. For hundreds
and hundreds of years, societies have used the institution of
marriage as a major characteristic to define who we are and
what our lifes purpose is. Almost all cultures consider the union
of two people in marriage as a holy sacrament and a divine
covenant, treating it as an immaculate, timeless tradition.
Being that we treat marriage with such high esteem, allowing
the tradition to dictate much of our lives, we cant ignore this
institution during our journey toward self-discovery.
The idea of marriage originally grew out of necessity.
It was a way to ensure the care of oneself and the protection
of ones legacy. Over time, however, this original construct
outgrew these practical intentions and became merciless to those
who failed to fulfill its rigid obligations.
In our first step toward building a life we deem complete, we
attempt to find a companion who fulfills many rolesa friend,
a counselor, an intimate partner, a lover, and a caregiver. We set
out to find a perfect match who is compatible with us on all
levels. Once we feel as though weve found that special someone,
we forge a relationship defined by many expectations. To further
solidify the bond, we enter into a marital contract. The concept
of marriage is lusted over by many as a quixotic key to happiness.
The first few years of marriage seem like a utopian bliss.
But as years go by, couples may find themselves unpleasantly
tangled and their freewill restricted. Many married partners live
either by compromise or bargain, which leaves the lure of true
happiness as nothing more than a distant promise. Couples
eagerly come to sip the honey, but eventually they find themselves
stucktrapped by responsibilities and expectations. Agatha
Christie touches on this in The Secret Adversary when she writes,
Marriage is called all sorts of things, a haven, and a refuge, and
a crowning glory, and a state of bondage, and lots more.
When two people decide to live together, they either cohabitate
informally or enter into a formal contract of marriage. Societies
tend to encourage a formal, contractual obligation in order to
solidify a family unit.
The act of cohabitation is natural to all living creatures
as a means of mutual cooperation.
This act helps all living creatures meet certain individual
demandsboth physical and emotional. Today, cohabitation is
often seen as a transitional phase before a couple enters into the
contract of marriage.
Many animals that form pairs to mate and raise offspring
regularly engage in sex outside of their primary relationship.
Naturally, many of these affairs result in offspring, which
are then reared by the cohabited male partner of the mother.
Here, fatherhood is recognized as a social rolethe male partner
nurtures the offspring, even those that dont belong to him. But
a father has more interest in the well-being of his biological
child, in his own legacy, than in someone elses. Therefore, such
an arrangement is not the best option for the offspring produced
outside of the cohabited pairing within the animal kingdom.
In the human world, this commitment to sexual exclusivity
can fall vulnerable to situational demands. Because of this, the
concept of formally organized family units with two biological
parents is given high importance in most societies.
To this effect, people have created a social framework to
ensure biological partners remain committed to one another in
rearing a child into adulthood. The contract of marriage began
to include regulations to further strengthen the family unit,
such as age limits and licenses. Some societies have empowered
citizens who marry with benefits ranging from property and
inheritance rights to tax breaks and even visitation rights in
prisons. Anyone who has gone through the legal process of
extricating themselves from a marriage understands how hard it
is to dissociate from the contract.
All living beings of nature have two things in common:
self-preservation and a fundamental instinct to leave a
legacy.
What is unique to humans is our contractual monogamy
supported by ethics and religion. How people have decided to
engage in such relationships has evolved over time. In recent
centuries, before monogamous marriage became the norm,
polygamy prevailed. An emphasis on monogamy grew out of
polygamous societies not by chance, but by necessity.
One social drawback of polygamy is a scarcity of available
women, which leads to an increase in competition among men.
The intense competition for wives increases the likelihood that
men will resort to criminal behavior in and outside of the home
to gain women and resources.
Monogamy, on the other hand, offers a more democratic
distribution of both genders and can help ease social tension
and crime. In monogamous cultures, men are able to shift their
focus from seeking multiple wives to successful child rearing.
Monogamous marriages result in improved child welfare, as well
as lower instances of child neglect, abuse, accidental death, and
domestic violence.
The earliest tribal societies that populated Great Britain
during the prehistoric age are one such example of a culture
that shifted from a polygamous to a monogamous society. After
the Celtics conversion to Christianity during the 6th and 7th
centuries, polygamy was no longer accepted. As the institution
of marriage became the norm, several versions of marriage
evolved to suit the different sects within the culture. Nine types
of marriage were created in total, all largely focused on a contract
merger of property and the establishment of a family home.
The first form of marriage involved a man and woman of
equal financial position, and an inventory of assets was created
and shared between the two. In the second, a woman brought
less or no property to the union. In the third, called caradas
from the word meaning to lovea woman welcomed a man into
her home with her familys consent, usually when the man had
no wealth to contribute. In the fourth form of marriage, the
union was formed between two people only by the marriage of
their parents. Today, wed call them step-siblings.
 A fifth type of union, a type of present-day common-law
marriage, was formed when two people lived together without
the consent of the womans family. In the sixth type, a woman
had relations with a man without her family knowing. The
seventh form was due to impregnation, perhaps as a result of
the sixth type of marriage. The eighth form translates to mean to
join by color and by light, a euphemism at the time for abducting a
woman without her consent and forcing her into marriage. The
ninth was a marriage by rape.
While some of these concepts of Celtic marriages may seem
distressing, they reflect the tone of many versions of marriage
still present in other cultures. By trial and error, each nation,
tribe, or culture created a system of contractual agreement
that is explicit and unambiguous between two people. In many
parts of the world, more free-spirited individuals have been
conditioned to subscribe to the practice of monogamy.
Arranged marriages: The right idea?
For many cultures throughout the world, even in this day
and age, arranged marriages are the norm. These societies have
institutionalized marriage to the point of verging on mandating
the practice, largely removing its romantic lure. In arranged
marriages, the father often chooses the best suitor for his child.
After a celebratory wedding during which the bride and groom
might be meeting for the very first time, the couple is escorted
to consummate their marriage. While each partners free will is
restricted by obedience to the clans choices of a mate, this
type of arrangement seems to have better odds at ensuring
long-lasting bonds than do marriages that involve romantic
choice. But how?
Originally, when ancient societies shifted from polygamy to
systematized monogamous relationships bound by a contractual
obligation, parents of prospective partners took elaborate
measures to reduce a mismatch between couples. This process
sometimes involved first seeking the majority of the clans
consent, akin to a modern day background check. It not only
assured the reputation of the bride or groom but also confirmed
the character of the respective families. What better way to
ensure compatibility and reduce discord between not just two individuals, but
two entire families?
Initially, marriages were arranged from as early as birth, often
as a treaty between royal families and nobles. For the commoners,
though, by the time an individual reached reproductive age, the
young person was not only under pressure to select a mate but
also expected to have learned the skills necessary to sustain and
rear a future family. Arranged marriages helped to ensure that
both goals were achieved. These couplings fulfilled the first
challenge of adolescent lifemate selectionso that more of
an individuals time could be spent on learning survival skills.
While this arrangement may have removed the burden of finding
a husband or wife, it also removed the romantic attraction
between the pairmaking the relationship a mechanical, albeit
durable, merger.
Within these early arranged marriages, the established roles of
husband and wife were strictly defined: Women were homebound
and expected to keep the household, raise the kids, and care for
both the husband and her in-laws. Men, on the other hand, were
educated and granted political rights. Although marriages were
to be monogamous, it was not uncommon for men to turn to
prostitutes for sexual pleasure outside of the home; for women,
extramarital affairs were strictly forbidden. Divorce, although
available upon the husbands request, was extremely complicated
and so stigmatized that is was often avoided. In some parts of
the world, these norms unfortunately continue to typify the
practice of marriage.
As more and more societies shift in attitude from collectivism
to individualism, the mate-selection process is further evolving
and expanding from obligatory arranged marriages to an
experience that focuses on a couples desire for romance.
Today, the idea of family life is, for the most part,
structured around marriage or permanent domestic
partnership.
After all, as Confucius says, The strength of a nation derives
from the integrity of the home. But the responsibilities that
come with thissexual exclusivity, contractual obligation, and
complete dedication to a single matecreate a lifestyle that was
virtually unheard of in primitive societies.
Ancient monogamous unions were referred to by some
as a pleasant necessity.
If a man and a woman desired to be together, they moved in with
one another and remained committed without any contractual
conditions. Just as easily as the pairing was established, it could
be dissolved. The couple merely made an agreement to part ways
and split the property and children. Men took the older sons,
women kept the daughters and infants. Among Apache Indians,
for instance, the dissolution of this type of partnering was easy
to execute and thus was extremely common. To divorce, a wife
simply put her husbands clothes outside of the home, which
conveyed that the husband should return to his parents. If the
man sought the split, hed tell his family he was going hunting
and never return.
 The well-being of primitive societies depended on safeguarding
offspring from predators and forces of nature. Protection of a
clans legacy in this manner became far more important than the
choice of a mate. The expansion of social circles depended fully
on families marrying into one another, which provided security
and allowed a couple to add to their own family. The purpose
of marriage was strictly to grow the ancestral line and create
alliances between groups.
No room was left for irreconcilable differences or
incompatibility within a pairing.
In modern times, most marriages are strictly a private affair
between the couple. When outside parties, even parents or
in-laws, attempt to intervene in our relationships, we demand
that they stop the invasion of our privacy. Conversely, in ancient
societies a couples marriage was everyones affair. Each family
member played an integral role in even the most personal
matters, and even children belonged to the community rather
than solely to their biological parents. There is an old adage, It
takes a village to raise a child. In some cultures, it literally did.
As civilizations modernized and more of an emphasis has
been placed on individualism, a fine line has developed between
the acceptable amount of external family involvement in a
couples relationship and an invasion of privacy. Families
continuously struggle to maintain balance regarding such a
delicate and important issue.
Most religions have glorified the practice of marriage as
sacred and consider the institution as divine intervention.
Each religion has its own version of sanctity and expectations
for how a married couple is to behave under the watchful eye of
their creator once they are bound in matrimony.
Islam carved out its concept of marriage based on the
life of its founding prophet.
Muhammad is said to have declared, By Allah! I am the most
God-fearing amongst you! Yet I marry! Whoever turns away
from my Sunnah (inspired way) is not from me. Declarations
such as these led to the sanctity of marriage in Islamic society.
Muslims consider marriage to be an integral part of their religious
devotion to this day.
Christians analyze the words of the Bible to proclaim
that marriage offers not only a unique relationship with
ones spouse but also a supernatural connection with God.
The faith considers sex to be Gods great idea. Quite
systematically, two people leave their parents to be united in
marriage, and through the consummation of that union, the two
will become one flesh. To increase the lure of this commitment,
some Christians vow to save sex as a reward for matrimony.
Sexual sin does more damage than other sin, says Saint Paul, as
written in the Corinthians. We must not pursue the kind of sex
that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us lonelier than
everthe kind of sex that can never become one.
Hindu culture constructed its ideal of marriage based
on the life of the deity Lord Rama.
How Lord Rama behaved as a son, husband, brother, and
friend served as the foundation for the roles in every Hindu
household. Similarly, in many religions, the spiritual icon of the
faith serves as the role model for couples bonded by marriage.
Is marriage a contract or a sacrament?
 Most religions idealize marriage as a sacrament, not a contract.
But the fact remains: Marriage is a mutual contract, a life-long
commitment, and a strong interpersonal bond. The institution
of marriage was created out of survival-based necessity.
Fundamentalists wouldnt agree with this statement and would
be unable to reason any sort of truth from this rationale. Most
of us dont agree with this progressive, logical view of marriage
either. We find great comfort in viewing marriage as a holy
sacrament, which is why most people with deep faith tend to stay
married longer and even report being happier.
Just like any activity regulated by religious institutions,
the newly formed contract became consecrated as a
sacrament.
To further glorify the holy union, religions established
ritualistic observances. Rituals like funerals, reunions, and
weddings are so ingrained in our religions holy books that it is all
too easy to mistake these celebrations for timeless traditions. But
ceremonies like the ones built around marriage are somewhat
recent additions in the context of the long span of human
history.
Trace history back far enough, and this becomes clear.
All traditions were established with a greater purpose,
but as time passes, the original intentions are forgotten.
In ancient India, for example, weddings featured multiple,
day-long ceremonies focused on reflection and educating the
new couple about the nuances of family. Now, those rites have
been traded in for a set of mechanized rituals, ignoring the once
important purpose of learning and growth.
Psychologically, for our minds to register an event as a highly
important milestone, the activity must be associated with a
celebrationconsider graduations, birthdays, and of course
weddings. In the past, mutual love alone (no matter how deep)
was considered insufficient. Because establishing a home
required more resources than any ordinary couple could provide,
the support of family and friends was enlisted through elaborate
ceremonies, rituals, and rites.
Friends and family serve as active participants in the
ceremony to bear witness to the union.
An elaborate wedding ceremony is a clever ritual that evokes
a feeling of guilt within the couple if they attempt to annul their
bond, considering that so many of their closest friends and
family witnessed that bonds enactment.
This encourages the couple to try harder to make the
union work.
Mandating witnesses adds another layer of checks and
balances to keep the agreement strong. Most people arent blind
to the fact that problems are inevitable in relationships and that
nullifying the contract is not the only, nor the most suitable,
solution to many of the couples differences.
Whether or not wed like to admit it, we care immensely about
what other people think. That was the idea behind weddings: If
we make such a big deal about the act of entering into a marriage,
it will be an equally big deal to exit the relationship.
The celebration of marriage serves another purpose as
well. The experience is geared toward creating a sentimental
environment for the couple, as well as a nostalgic event for those
invited. Even the most unromantic couples, given the right time
and place, will feel at least a hint of mutual affection during a
ceremony. The visiting couple embarks on a sentimental journey,
remembers their own affectionate moments, and feels passionate
about the experience theyre witnessing.
It is important, however, not to get too lost in the rituals
of marriage.
We tend to see elaborate weddings as the gateway to happy
marriages. But take a look at the world outside of your own. The
goal of marriage is not to become consumed by rigid rules or
glorified celebrations but to form a mutually understanding and
cohesive unit in whatever way works best for the couple. The
marital unit will still function as the fundamental component of
society with or without dramatic festivities.
Our preoccupation with fitting into traditional molds
limits our ability to see the original intention behind the act
of marriage.
The idea of family in the contract of marriage results in a
sophisticated division of laborestablished roles are entrusted
upon different members of the family. By entering into the
contract, we gain a slew of relationshipsin-laws, nieces,
nephews, aunts, uncles, and so on. Kinship is our social support
to share in both joy and hardship. This union, in theory, makes
perfect biological and social sense.
Marriage means giving up one way of life and adopting an
entirely new one. Through a process of contractual agreement,
marriage locks partners into a particular lifestyle, to which both
individuals promise to conform. The contract, whether tacit
or explicit, is an agreement not only between the couple but
all related parties. By agreeing to participate in the system, you
assume all roles involved: wife, husband, son-in-law, sister-in-law.
Eventually, the role becomes second nature and is no longer an
act, but a newfound reality.
Marriage, while helping to ensure the survival of all
those involved, defies many of our natural instincts.
Humans are not intrinsically monogamous creatures, so we
must learn to adopt such behavior. Our animalistic instincts and
the societal constructs that ensure our biological survival are
forever at odds. Our instincts pull us constantly toward free will.
This free will obviously causes friction within marriages and the
many restrictions this bond places on the individual.
If this mutual, interpersonal love is too weak to sustain the
ups and downs of marriage, then there has to be some other
bond that provides a permanent commitment between couples.
Where interpersonal love seems inadequate, religion steps in to
require that a lasting bond is based not solely in romantic love,
but in morality and responsibility as well.
Is marriage the key to happiness?
By adopting socially defined roles, we expect to find bliss.
We become euphoric when entering into this contract and often
devastated when we have to sign out of this system that we
ourselves created.
With marriage, our basic needs for food, shelter, sex, and
security are often or more easily met. But most couples in
marriage lack the fulfillment of another prominent needto be
unconditionally loved and treated with high esteem. Today, the
idea that a relationship can survive on mutual affection alone
seems to be fictional rather than an attainable reality.
A misconception leads to ultimate disappointment:
 People have come to believe that happiness is found in
marriage, a social mold we passionately nurtured for
thousands of years.
When the bliss of marriage or life-long partnering falls short
of such unrealistic expectations, apathy sets in. The result: Instead
of being a tool for happiness, for many, marriage has become a
source of oppressive frustration. This ideological conviction of
marriage has taken a permanent position in our minds. We even
tend to stigmatize men and women who dont marry as much as
we cast judgment upon those who get divorced.
People continue to marry because they believe it will
better their lives to do so.
The key to happiness in marriage is finding the ultimate
balance between enjoying a loving relationship in which one feels
comfortable and understood and maintaining a level of latitude.
You must ensure that the needs of your loved ones are fulfilled
while obtaining the right to be left alone. Such balance takes
more than instinct and emotion. This equanimity can only be
achieved when the couple understands their mutually supportive
roles and responsibilities and adopts necessary lifestyle changes
to make the marriage a purposeful bargain.
We assume the role of husband or wife and become insepa-
rable from it. However, when we take these positions for granted
and assume that the roles we play in our marriages are reality, the
result can dishearten us.
The solution is to passionately dissociate ourselves (even
if for just a moment) from the roles we play.
 This allows us to look at our relationships from beyond the
contract and to love and appreciate our life partner void of the
limiting conditions imposed by the institution of marriage.
Recognizing that our animalistic instincts will never
disappear also helps to ensure a successful relationship.
Novelty fires up our brains. No matter how attracted we are
to our spouses, our human nature will tempt us to seek someone
new, which is the very reason a contract of marriage, backed by
morality and responsibility rooted in religious tenets, has to exist.
It helps restrict our animalistic instincts.
Like any other species, the goal of humanity is to produce
more humanity. Having a stable relationship between parents
ensures that children are raised with the proper skills needed
for survival. Creating smaller subsets of society built upon the
institution of marriage allows for individuals to be self-sustaining
in order to optimize the survival of the greater good.
In recent decades, societies have experienced an increase in
couples choosing cohabitation before, or in lieu of, the formal
contract, resulting in an increase of children born outside
of traditional marriages. After examining the evolution of
matrimony, it seems as though history is beginning to repeat
itself. But the question looms:
Is there a better way to organize human societies than
through the institution of marriage?
We have tried strategies like cohabitation, courtships, and
polygamy. The marital system as it exists today may not be the
logical conclusion for how to best build society, but it is our
best effort. Part of what makes it so effective is its flexibility; its
adaptable to each family and has been for thousands of years.
 The bottom line is that a contracted partnership exists
to facilitate the most optimal survival.
Use it well. Use it void of ideologies and dogmas. Allow it
to work with and not against nature, and you will achieve the
bliss you have always hoped to find. And, if it doesnt work,
realize that marriage is only a social construct, not a permanent
sacrament. Ultimately, if you define who you are based on the
social constructsI am a husband or I am a wifeyou are
identifying yourself based on nothing more than a social role.
You are more than an identity created for social
convenience.
 Chapter Ten

Way of Life: How Did We Become

Trapped in a Cage of Our Own Making?
 In social institutions, the whole is always less than the
sum of its parts. There will never be a state as good as
its people, or a church worthy of its congregation, or a
university equal to its faculty and students.
Edward Abbey

After inquiring into the aspects of our lives that most define us
faith and relationshipswe now turn our attention to the world
that man himself created in the name of social organization.
We have, over centuries, built a societal framework to fulfill
basic physical and emotional needs. While our organization has
resulted in substantially increased productivity, weve lost sight
of the fact that weve cast ourselves into molds we can no longer
controlbecoming victims in a world of our own creation.
During our evolution from hunter-gatherers to the more
sophisticated men and women we are today, we created various
institutions such as marriage, religion, law and order, codes of
conduct, financial markets, and universities in order to achieve
civilized, more uniform communities.
We began to identify ourselves using these social constructs
and, over time, became unable to dissociate from them. Ask
anyone how they define themselves, and the answer is usually
very forthcoming: I am a husband, wife, Christian, Buddhist, professor,
doctor, lawyer, etc. We ignore the fact that these identifiers are
merely one part of our social agendanot who we actually are.
By looking at how, at some point, we began to mistake cultural
constructs for timeless traditions, we come to know our true
nature apart from how we fit into these societal frameworks.
How have these culture-specific lifestyles evolved? How
do they now work together?
Understanding our cultural boundaries allows us to open our
minds and see life outside of these prisms.
Since civilizations first began to form, humans have
been a species of organizersconstantly structuring
societies into systematized entities.
As hunters and gathers, we settled around riverbanks where
fertile soil was readily available and began to loosely organize
ourselves into a sort of farming community. Later, people
crammed themselves into confined living spaces. Clans started
to dwell in honeycomb-like quarters, a far cry from our nomadic
beginnings. There was initially no concept of land ownership,
or, for that matter, ownership over anything other than a few
loincloths and hunting tools. All possessions were considered
communal.
Settlements survived using a few primitive tools for hunting
and farming. These early farming techniques evolved, eventually
requiring more complicated tasks such as irrigation, storage, and
trading. As a result, the division of labor became a vital element
of society.
Population growth began to outpace the acquisition of the
resources necessary to sustain it. With scarcity looming, survival
became competitive. Consumption of limited resources was
regulated equitably, in a way that benefited both the individual
and the society.
Such organization ensured that people within a group or tribe
received the fruits of their labor. Man developed the clever idea
of taking exclusive ownership of natural resources like land,
water, and livestock, none of which truly ever belonged to
anyone in the first place. Modern man brags so proudly about
his possessionsbut the idea of ownership actually evolved
as a survival adaptation. Ownership of land progressed to the
right to property, which formed the cornerstone of present-day
society. With this, it became (and remains) absolutely essential
that all members of a society participate in the cooperative
venture in order to obtain the necessary resources to survive.
Devoid of property ownership, our civilized society as
we know it wouldnt exist.
With the laws of personal property firmly established, the
focus shifted from the protection of the individual family unit to
the act of sustaining the community at large. Each group staked
claim over their chosen territory to safeguard any surplus of
resources. As people began to value their land as treasure, the
arbitrary territorial boundaries became that much more defined.
Restrictions on migration were put into place as a matter of
preserving cultural traditions and an areas supplies. Over time,
ardent ownership of territory grew into a zealous sense of
nationalism.
These boundaries essentially led nations to war, and these
communities grew or split apart as the stronger territories
conquered the weak.
 Inhabitants of these new territories developed an
unbridled pride in the name of patriotism.
One would willingly die or kill to defend his land. Formal
training programs were developed to strengthen defenders, who
were rewarded with privileges and the utmost appreciation for
protecting the tribes most important possessionits land. The
nations we know today are the result of hundreds of years of
barricading these territories, driven by the existential demands
of humans.
Unlike other animals, which freely migrate in a world
without borders, man was caged by his own doing.
As the settlements continued to populate, societies were
presented with more complicated issues unique to crowded
and confined spaces: Controlling rampant disease outbreaks,
disposing of human waste, and protecting the territorys
resources from theft. To deal with such challenges, niche skill
sets evolved into present-day professions.
While the concept of a division of labor is fundamental to
human survival, it is not unique to our species. Consider colonies
of ants, schools of fish, and herds of elephants, all of which
systematically divide the communitys workload to ensure its
success.
What is unique to humans, however, is the idea of the
complicated medium of exchange.
Originally, man relied on the barter system, the dawn of trade.
One person might train to hunt or gather food in exchange for
another person to prepare it. One man would extract grain from
chaff while another would make food from the grains, another
would package the food, and still another would transport it
to the location of consumption. At each stage of this process,
individuals labor was rewarded.
As populations expanded, so too did the demand for goods
and services. Humans needed a better way to efficiently utilize
available resources. Man stumbled upon the brilliant idea of
allocating assets by assigning arbitrary value to all services and
commodities. This was the birth of currency, which eventually
became the reward for labor.
With time, the reward systems grew more sophisticated.
Precious metals such as gold and silver became the common
means of transaction for goods and services. The reliance on
metals eventually led to our current concept of money. The
invention of currency would prove to be one of the most
important developments of modern society, and it quickly
became the new axis on which the world turned. A systematic
layout of trade allowed for goods and services to be exchanged
internationally. No longer restricted by borders, an interesting
cultural melting pot of resources arose. In his book, A Splendid
Exchange, an extraordinary chronicle of how human trade evolved
to present day, author Bill Bernstein writes:
What better symbolizes the epic of global trade that my
apple from the other side of the world, consumed at the
exact moment that its ripe European cousins were being
picked from their trees?
Initially, currency had no intrinsic value apart from its
arbitrary worth, which was decided upon by the governing
members of each particular society. But as the exchange of
commodities expanded beyond territorial borders, the value of
currency was no longer solely determined by individual societies.
In the past, the nation with the strongest armies ruled over the
weakest civilizations, but with the evolution of global trade, it
was the nations with the strongest influence over the market that
held the power. The strongest nations determined the value of
currencythe new benchmark for our standard of living.
We depend on a monetary system not only to reward our
unique talents and contributions to society but also to ensure
that all of our needs are met. Because our survival is completely
based on our ability to earn this reward, it has become, in essence,
the center of our universe. We cant escape the influence of this
social construct. Our very livelihood depends on this reward.
History of trade is the history of humanity.
Trade is what holds communities together and is simultaneously
what breaks societies apart. In the end, just about everything is a
bartera product for a product, an emotion for an emotion, or
a mix-and-match of the two.
The things with which we identifyoften wealth and
possessionsare ultimately a product of a system we ourselves
created through a process of trial and error in the name of social
organization.
From this organization came wealth, and from wealth, power
and influence were born. As human populations exploded, a
scarcity of resources led to violent competition among citizens.
As a solution, man made a conscience decision that left the
deepest mark on the human psycheto create a social divide.
Despite the fact that we created this polarization, we fail to
recognize that the seemingly unjust system is one of our own
making.
While social division arose among communities as an
adaptive strategy to maximize survival, along came the
ugly side of this structured division: Inequality.
Since the system was based on the notion that each gender
and each age group would be given labor roles tailored to
their abilities, inequality mitigated the adverse effects of tribal
members competing for limited resources.
The creation of a pecking order facilitated and improved
group productivity. While hierarchy brought about power
struggles, it also had a tremendous utilitarian value. Ancient
Indias division, for instance, was comprised of four major levels
of society based on peoples intellectual and physical capabilities.
The caste system assigned each individual his own duty to
society. This profession was passed down from generation to
generation. The son of a goldsmith would become a goldsmith
automaticallyno ifs, ands, or buts. Freedom of choice was
highly restricted. For some, this meant power as a birthright,
while others suffered from the inability to work toward a higher
class.
What began as role-playing in the name of division of
labor became a non-negotiable chain of command.
At the time, the caste system was developed with the best
intentions by ancient Indian legislators. Their core principle was
this: All people must contribute to the greater good of society.
This type of stratification created the social fabric that held the
nation together. Many believe that this systematic distribution
of people actually prevented a state of anarchy and worked to
preserve the cultural heritage.
The caste system was in no way limited to ancient India. In
fact, some of the most idolized people in history, such as Moses,
believed that the institution of the caste was a viable means to
prevent the outbreak of rebellion. Egyptians also utilized the
caste system and forbade any man from having more than one
profession or changing his current position. The justification for
the systems inflexibility was that it allowed for each individual
to master a particular skill and, in turn, become an expert within
his field.
The result, however, was a social separation that became
difficult to bridge. For the first time in history, physical strength
didnt matter as much as personal wealththe physically strong
were now lower in the social echelon. The financially wealthy
employed the physically strong and thus held all the power.
The price for this is an epidemic of self-defeat. Many feel as
though the cards they were dealt will forever dictate their lives,
and, more importantly, their ability to achieve happiness. Because
of this manmade polarization, a gap has survived the test of time.
Any attempt to narrow this divide has proven seemingly futile.
Since the creation of these fictitious boundaries, those labeled
as lesser-than have been utterly fascinated with the more fortunate.
The system of royalty, a tradition of status and power, grew
from this resources gap. The ruling class claimed to cater to the
needs of the poor, but, in actuality, most took advantage of and
disenfranchised the needy, receiving far more than they gave
to those beneath them. The superior status of royalty was one
for many commoners to dream about but never achieve. This
captivation was so strongly rooted in the masses that the lure of
royalty still lives on today.
Weve accepted affluence, royalty, and fame as birthrights.
Weve restricted human creativity within the confines of our
barriers of social organization. Some of us have made it our
purpose to revolt against social divisions such as religions and
nationalities, while the rest of us see it as a virtue to kill or die in
the name of these constructs.
Can there be a society without this stratification?
A question that we may never be able to answer is whether
or not a truly equal society can, or will ever, exist. History tells
us probably not. Social class is an unavoidable consequence of
organized civilization. Even in communities where democracy is
intended to work as a possible equalizer, social class continues
to serve as a great divide. In the past, status was determined by
who you were, but today, its what youve got that matters most.
An individuals place in the hierarchy determines much more
than a career path or an opportunity for wealth. It influences
personal decisions, from issues as big and life changing as
marriage all the way down to daily behaviorwhat we wear, how
we think, what choices we make, what defines our happiness, the
value of our material wealth, and even our health.
We have become what our society has trained us to
become.
While early civilizations proclaimed social stratification to be
a divine instruction and a timeless tradition, history proves that
such divisions are arbitrary. Our minds have come to accept this
division as the status quo, as timeless, divine interventionbut
these constructs are manmade.
Ironically, we now constantly struggle to bridge a social
gap that we ourselves created.
Social stratification aims to establish specific roles for societys
members, and we attempt to fit accordingly into these strategic
molds by learning the necessary skills to complete our chosen
vocations. We dedicate the first third of our lives to mastering
these skills through our education, and we spend the rest of our
lives putting these skills to use to serve our livelihood.
In an attempt to create a level of uniformity throughout all
aspects of life, various manmade systems like education have
acted as the backbone of civilization.
Without proper education or training, individuals are
unable to participate meaningfully in the division of labor,
thus compromising their well-being.
Formal training through education is an ever-evolving
process by which society deliberately transmits its accumulated
knowledge and skills from one generation to another. Obtaining
a college degree is one way to signify that you have attained
certain skills to contribute to society and are thereby eligible to
receive a particular reward for your mastered skills.
Educational systems have been around for centuries, but
the academic system as we know it today did not develop until
recently. The idea of a university sprung from the Medieval Latin
church. The word universitas, meaning cooperation, was originally
a system created as a collection of teachers who ran it, controlled
it, and communally argued with city officials, bishops, and princes
over how it would work. Until the 12th century, teaching above
the elementary level was limited only to monasteriesplanting
the religious influences that most universities see even to this day.
But as society modernized, individual choice replaced traditional
communal authority. As a result, religion became more of a
private matter.
As societies became more culturally divergent, the
attempt of a nation to unify a society with varying principles,
customs, and beliefs has become challenging.
Education in our early years creates the foundation of our
outlooks for the rest of our lives. As our educational systems
change, our values and ethics evolve in tandem. In this feedback
loop, we modify our systems to meet the challenges of our times,
but the modified systems cycle on to influence who we are and
what we believe.
By identifying yourself in the context of social class,
profession, or ideology, you are tacitly agreeing to
participate in a constructed system, subconsciously
keeping the wheels of society turning smoothly.
Social divisions are such an integral part of us that we dont
see them as our own making; therefore, we dont see that we
have the power to liberate ourselves from these polarizations.
We defend against any attempt to question the legitimacy or
permanency of these organizations. Our reactionary mentality
has become an almost instinctual, automatic response. As Sir
William Osler puts it, Life is a habit, a succession of actions
that become more or less automatic.
Ultimately, the history of social organization is our
storythe story of each of us.
Weve caged ourselves in frameworks within frameworks
within frameworks. Structures become shackles unless we see
the facts of life as they really are, not as they are according to
arbitrary boundaries. If we cannot acknowledge this, we will
forever be restricted to and victims of our own social barriers.
Love and compassion can only flow freely if our creativity is not
restricted by class or culture. As American author Edward Abbey
observes:
In social institutions, the whole is always less than the sum
of its parts. There will never be a state as good as its people, or
a church worthy of its congregation, or a university equal to its
faculty and students.
Its only an illusion birthed from these social systems
that our purpose in life is to become someone.
Eastern wisdom traditions call this maya, an illusion resultant
of social conditioning. Prophets understood that ones purpose
in life is not simply to follow a set of practices, but to recognize
the complete structure from which the practices were created in
the first place.
If you believe that your purpose in life is to become a true
Christian or ardent Muslim or sincere Jew or spirited Buddhist
for the aim of attaining salvationyou are misguided. If you
feel defensive after reading that statement, that reaction is exactly
what I am talking about.
On our quest to follow in the footsteps of these idealized
prophets, weve made a mistake in linking an adherence to codes
of conduct or established norms to the promise of salvation or
some sort of spiritual liberation.
This could be perhaps the most misunderstood and
misinterpreted concept in the history of humanity.
We ignore the evolution and purpose of religion. We forget
that religion, like marriage and education, is an institution that
was formed as an all-encompassing system for the creation of a
harmoniously functioning society.
We have two related goals powering our survivalsocial
goals and biological goalsboth of which we often
mistake for our purpose.
Marriage, for instance, is a social construct created to
ensure we are surrounded by physical and emotional support,
and this works in conjunction with our biological needs for
companionship and reproduction. But we shouldnt let these
goals distract us from our true purpose in life, which is timeless
and beyond the boundaries of social frameworks and survival
struggles.
If you declare that your purpose in life is to become a lawyer,
a doctor, or a political leader simply because you want to be
rich and famous, then you are not delving deeply enough. You
are confusing social and biological goals with your purpose.
Accomplishing social goals is not unimportant, but true joy lies
beyond ones societal role. It is the compassion that we put forth
in our work; the love that we give as parents, siblings, spouses,
and friends; and the creativity and passion that we foster during
our pursuits that will lead us to happiness.
It is who you are that is importantyour innate qualities and
how you use themnot what you become that will guide you
down a path of satisfaction toward a life truly fulfilled.
 Part IV

The Power of the Mind

Who are you?
Try to answer this question without using social constructs
in your description. Im not asking for your role in your family,
your faith or religious ideology, your academic or professional
achievements, or the details of your personal relationships.
All of these identifiers are transitory.
Yes, in the scope of the entire history of mankind, even faith is
transitory. Over thousands of years as civilization has modernized,
religions have come and gone. People have switched or departed
from their faith in search of something more fulfilling. Young
people today are far less likely to affiliate themselves with a single
belief system. According to Pew Research, one in four adults
under the age of 30 label themselves as unaffiliated in terms
of religion, describing their faith as atheist, agnostic, or
nothing in particular. If this were 2,000 years ago, the cultural
landscape would look entirely different.
Labeling yourself within the social strata is a fleeting,
impermanent means of identification.
Consider who YOU are apart from associations with any
particular faith, culture, tradition, nationality, social status, or
personal relationship. Your answer might look something like
this:
I am a mind confined by a body and fated with a finite
lifespan.
The father of modern philosophy, Ren Descartes, spoke
these famous words: I think, therefore I am. Some spiritual
gurus and mystics undermine the very nature of our minds by
describing the real you with words like love or spirit or soul.
One Eastern mystic even describes the mind as a garbage bin,
although a useful one.
If, in fact, our minds determine who we are, its worth asking
ourselves: What is my mind and what is its ultimate purpose?
 Chapter Eleven

The Mind: Who is My Mind?

 Biology gives you a brain. Life turns it into a mind.
Jeffrey Eugenides

We often consider the mind to be an exclusive space inside our

heads that we utilize to make sense of the world. A space where
all of our thinking happens. The mind represents the impalpable
domain of our physical presence. Without our minds, we are
nothing but a mere bundle of moving parts, absent of feelings
and emotions, and lacking in the ability to reason and formulate
creative ideas. In his book, A System of Logic, famous philosopher
John Stuart Mills calls the mind, a mysterious something, which
feels and thinks.
Our brains and nervous systems serve as conduits of
perception. Yet the sum total of all of these abilitiesmemory,
reasoning, and decision makingcomes together within the
intangible space, the overarching control center that we call our
minds. Jeffrey Eugenides writes in his book, Middlesex,
Biology gives you a brain. Life turns it into a mind.
We tend to think that only complex life formshumans and
animalspossess a mind. But even the single cell, the simplest
unit of life, has an intelligent mind. Each of our cells breathes
and digests, exhibiting a remarkable endurance.
Just like an animal body has organs, each individual cell has
its own tiny, organ-like entities, its own defense system, and
interacts directly with its neighbors. Each individual cell houses
a capacity of consciousness, as well as memory and reason. Our
cells instinctually seek whats beneficial for their survival while
avoiding that which could be potentially jeopardizing.
Each cell is a mobile unit capable of sustaining itself, a
chemical factory cooperating to form a self-contained mini-
ecosystem.
Our body is a collection of trillions of such mini-
ecosystems.
Each cell, from its conception to its demise, embodies the
four driving states of mindthe four Fs: feeding, fleeing,
fighting, and reproduction.
We all started our lives as a single cell. From that single cell
we divided and developed into this complex formour present
selves. This fact is not hard to fathom, but the questions are
these:
What triggers a single cell to develop into such a
complex form? Is there a purpose behind this exercise?
Perhaps, by multiplying and developing into complex forms
with a distinguished division of labor, the cell increases its
survivability. And perhaps that is why our minds exhibit the same
tendencies that our progeny cells possessedthose four Fs. This
is the fundamental reason why the minds of all living species,
from the most basic single cell to the most complex life forms,
constantly toggle between these four primal needs. How we go
about accomplishing these needs, though, differs greatly.
The moment a cell is conceived, a mysterious
phenomenon happenslife takes form and springs into
action.
Along with the form, its function is also pre-determined
either to divide into more cells, simply cooperate to achieve the
well-being of other cells, or both. Once the life form firmly
establishes its existence, a property almost as mystical in nature
occurs rather spontaneously. The life form becomes conscious
of its surroundings. The actual meaning of the word conscious is
to be able to recognize. Each cell, from its inception, recognizes
the world around it and begins to move to its own rhythm
syncing with nature to survive.
Its easy to understand that we can only recognize that
which we already know.
But, mysteriously, a new life form is able to recognize the
world without being primed to it. Each cell comes with an ability
to make sense of the world and adapt accordingly. Its as if the
survival wisdom acquired over millions of years of evolution is
packaged into the single embryo. Through these life-encapsulated
vessels, the universe becomes conscious of its own existence, as
though the universe is looking at itself through the eyes of these
new life forms. Maybe its because of this undeniable connection
that we crave the knowledge of natures secrets, its origin, and
the depths of its wisdom.
Perhaps even more mystifying than the consciousness
within each cell is the question of what or who imparts
such intelligence into each living entity.
 Since the dawn of time, weve been trying to explain the
mysterious cause of this marvelous effect. A word of caution:
Dont get consumed by the scientific communitys argument
that DNA is the absolute life material of your body, the be-all,
end-all. The truth is, while DNA may contain the genetic code
to build an organism, it is not itself the bearer of life. It only
contains instructions to manufacture life forms. DNA can even
be recovered from dead cells. Ultimately, it is not DNA, the
gene, or even the genome that brings about life. It is that sublime
intelligence that renders life into DNA.
Philosophers describe the cause of life in terms of universal
love, while theists associate life with the doctrine of the soul
or the spirit. Biologists describe the living in terms of organic
forms, and physicists do so in terms of particles of atomic dance.
Despite ones beliefs, theories, or conclusions, the origin
of life remains an enigma.
No one knows why the spark of life happens and what its
ultimate purpose is. There are those who call life a fluke of cosmic
randomness in which humans are just lucky to survive against
extinction. Humans are here today because our particular line
never fracturednever once at any of the billion points that
could have erased us from history, describes Stephen Jay Gould,
renowned American paleontologist and evolutionary biologist.
Then there are those who believe that God miraculously
created the universe and all of its inhabitants. While the latter
belief can seem more like a lofty fantasy, it is far more emotionally
satisfying. The former idea of cosmic randomness is less
romantic, appealing only to our logic.
Whether a physicist, philosopher, or a theist, we are each trying
to connect with the underpinnings of the universe. But regardless
of the various scientific theories or religious affirmations, in the
end, we may never know why life emerges or what its purpose is.
There is, however, one thing we know for sure:
Life is stubborn.
Life is all about function. When life takes a form or appears
in a form (or however you want to interpret it), it has to create
robust solutions to the complicated challenges ahead. Within
cells, life develops innumerable strategies to divide, spread,
self-heal, and collaborate with other forms. Albert Claude,
Nobel-prize-winning biologist, explains,
The cell, over billions of years of her life, has covered
the earth many times with her substance, found ways to
control herself and her environment, and ensure her
survival.
Famous American architect Louis Sullivan was known for
his widely accepted philosophy that form follows function.
Decades later, another famous architect, Frank Lloyd Wright,
expanded upon Sullivans law, saying, Form follows function
that has been misunderstood. Form and function should be one,
joined in sacred union. Our bodies follow this principle down
to each individual cell, where every component of our being
serves a specific function, supported by its form.
A cell, which is nothing but a tiny drop of fluid guarded by a
thin membrane, is suited to thrive in its own distinct world from
day one. The world of each of our red blood cells, for instance,
is a pool of blood that it shares with other cells. It knows not
any other world, nor can it survive outside the bounds of its
territory.
Similarly, a hair follicle resides is the surface of the skin in
which its embedded. Like a grass leaf, it lives in its place of birth
until its inevitable mortality. Every living entity, from the simplest
cells to the most complex life forms, goes through difficult trials
in order to survive. Each living entity is endowed with its own
control center which coordinates its functions and makes this
survival possible.
We dont arrive in the world, as the clichs of birth are so
often described, as empty vessels or blank slates.
Even as mere infants, we house the driving force that is the
survival instinct: arriving with a primitive arsenal of survival tools.
Recent research shows that even before birth we understand
things like the difference between night and day; we innately
recognize sounds of voices; and instinctively, we sense emotions.
Our newborn minds have tremendous potentialwaiting to
evolve and adapt.
The original content of our human minds is a set of basic
survival tools, our primitive reflexes. A newborn will suck on
anything that touches the roof of its mouth. Sucking isnt
a conscious act, but an involuntary one, giving the infant the
innate ability to intake milk.
Babies also inhabit the palmer graspgrasping anything that
strokes the palm. Another survival instinct: The swimming reflex.
Place a four-to-six-month-old baby in water, and he will begin to
paddle and kick. Even void of a teacher or any external condi-
tioning, babies have means (although limited) to survive. This
loaded state of survival creates a potential for greater learning, a
framework to be built upon.
While the brain and its intricate connections serve as the
portal, it is the infants mind that actually makes sense of
the world.
Coupled with reflexes are inherited survival tendencies,
which we possess from day one. Moths and butterflies lay their
eggs where they know their offspring will find the sustenance
to survive, such as on cabbage leaves. Even with no personal
attachment to cabbage, the butterfly instinctually understands
that the caterpillar born of her egg will draw food from the
vegetable. Instincts and adaptations are passed on from prior
generations to promote successful survival of offspring.
These inherited tendencies are a result of cellular memory.
Memory is that intangible domain of our minds that ensures
protection of life.
Our memory is more powerful and runs more deeply
than we can imagine.
Our cells house information dated all the way back to the
time of our ancient predecessors. Some of this information is
immediately accessible, while the majority of it is latently stored,
revealing itself only when provoked.
Evolutionary biologists are discovering how the human body,
powered by this incredible memory, has resculpted our physical
and mental capacities over millions of years. Using our extensive
memory, we have evolved both mentally and physically to
survive the challenges of current times. Our modern sedentary
lifestyle has caused our cells to modify, and thus we now possess
less muscle mass, smaller bones, and dissimilar hormone levels.
Scientists estimate that bone strength has fallen by approximately
30 percent since the documented start of the human race.
Such changes are a complex interplay between nature
and nurture, a web that is impossible to disentangle.
 Although less active lifestyles have made us physically weaker,
our cellular memory houses the capacity to respond to exercise
quickly, with an increase in bone and muscle mass. Take tennis
players, for example: Scientists have found that the forearm bone
of a tennis players dominant playing arm is 40 percent stronger
than their opposite, non-playing arm. Our bodies are also able
to regain lost bone strength after weve worked out. Due to this
astonishing power of memory, we retain our ancient capacity for
physical strength.
Our bodies are filled with memories down to their cores,
each of which works to determine our physical and emotional
behaviors. In 1988, a young woman by the name of Claire Sylvia
received the heart of an 18-year-old man who had been killed in
a motorcycle accident. Shortly after the operation, Sylvia adopted
many new characteristics: She became more masculine, and her
attitude, habits, and tastes changed dramatically. She frequently
had dreams about a man named Tim whom shed never met or
even heard ofbut still she felt they shared a deep connection.
The man in her dreams turned out to be her donor.
Upon meeting the donors family, she learned that her new
attributes mirrored many of Tims behaviors. While some may
dismiss this as mere coincidence, many consider these types of
cases to be cellular-memoryproof that every cell in our bodies
does, in fact, have a mind of its own.
While many of our minds original survival features are
instinctual or inherited, we acquire even more techniques
through experience to further maximize our survival potential.
All of these tools and the associations we accumulate throughout
our lives become the content of our minds, which continue
to expand as we age. Our minds feed on every experience we
endure, so much so that they crave new experiences constantly.
Our dynamic minds change endlessly from all of the input they
receive, whether from direct experience or through learned
information. Without this conditioning, our minds would be
limited to the few basic skills we need for survival but would
remain lacking in the necessities for actually thriving.
When we arrive in the world as infants, we dont exit our
mothers wombs alone.
We make many friends along the way who stay within us
throughout our lives. These friends are complex communities of
microbes that enter our inner world, inhabiting our skin and lining
our digestive system. Through breastfeeding and interaction
with our surrounding environmentsparents, blankets, and
petsbabies continue to host an ever-expanding collection of
microbes. By late infancy, one of the most complex microbial
ecosystems on the planet inhabits our bodies.
Scientists call this ecosystem a microbiome, and it is an integral
part of our human physiology and anatomy. From digestion to
immunity, our microbiome is largely responsible for ensuring that
our body functions properly. The microbiome far outnumbers
our own cellsby ten to one. A thousand species of bacteria
occupy our gut alone. No two people, not even identical twins,
share the exact microbial makeup. Our native cells, along with
those of our microbes, inherently know how to interact with one
anotherintegrating to power the complex life form that is the
human body.
Our body is more or less like a rainforest filled with incredible
diversity. Its a complex mix of trillions of cells, both native and
foreign, forming a sophisticated pattern. A seemingly infinite
number of interdependent mini-ecosystems packaged into life
forms inhabit the planethumans are merely one of them.
Life is filled with countless examples of nature uniting to form
complex patterns of functioning interdependency.
All life forms are not just influencing nature but are also
being influenced by nature.
In the broadest sense, we humans are no different from any
other being. The question is this: Whats the driving force powering
these interdependencies?
Consider a bee colony: Thousands upon thousands of bees
miraculously divide and conquer innumerable tasks to keep the
colony and its inhabitants functioning. Bees respond intuitively
to the needs of the hive. They leave the colony when outside
resources are required, stay in when the hive needs maintenance,
and adapt almost seamlessly to any abrupt change in circumstance.
Each willingly collaborates without ever being able to see the
environment in its entirety.
How is it that such a large collection of living entities
can achieve this level of integration and civility without any
supervision or centralized authority?
If we observe the bee colony as a whole, one thing becomes
clear: At its core, the aggregate colony parallels human behavior
by sharing a common goalsurvival and multiplication of
its own. Like the colony, our bodies are magnificent vessels
with cooperative ventures of innumerable systems. They are
comprised of small, medium, and large task-units, each of which
aggregates to form larger, more comprehensively functioning
organizations. Cells amass to form working organs, organs work
together to establish organ systems, and so on. The human body
is one giant community with an astonishing division of labor.
Although each individual player within this mini-ecosystem
has a very short lifespanour red blood cells, for instance,
live only 120 days and a platelet only fivewhen these cells
collaborate, the body survives much longer. Within our bodies,
organs function with a marvelous contingent:
Each element only functions as effectively as its coun-
terparts.
The organs work in precise harmony, with self-correcting
feedback. Our systems abilities to communicate are so
sophisticated that when one system seems weak, another will
compensatean intricate method of checks and balances.
The brain and nervous systems serve as the channels of such
communication. But if one link in the chain breaks, the entire
body suffers. Faulty wiring within our hearts, for instance, will
result in a devastating domino effect, causing many other organs
to endure the reperc-ussions. All aspects of our organs function
must communicate seamlessly to work properly.
As with any collaborative venture, some players are more vital
than others. If an ordinary individual entity is unable to perform
its duty, the ecosystem will find a way to continue functioning
as it did before. If that particular entity is a key player with
irreplaceable skills, however, then the entire team suffers. In the
case of our senses, when we lose sight, our hearing becomes
much more fine-tuned. But when a more significant organ like
the heart or the brain suffers irreparable damage, our entire body
is at risk for decay.
What is it that powers this sophisticated teamwork?
We tend to automatically assume that our brains act as our
bodies control centers. But consider when an image appears in
the retinawe may not even consciously be aware of this if our
minds are busy fielding other thoughts. Even though the brains
connections are perfectly intact, the mind is able to remain
oblivious to stimuli upon which it is not fully focused.
While the sophisticated network comprised of the brain and
nervous system coordinates a bodys activities, it is actually within
the ethereal space of the mind that the magic really happens. Im
not dismissing the brilliance of the brain, but in the span of
human history, we have often appropriated the seat of the mind
to the more tangible structures of our body. Take the ancient
Egyptians, who thought the heart to be the source of good and
evil and considered the brain irrelevant, even discarding it when
mummifying corpses.
Weve come a long way since then, and today we understand
that the brain is at the core of our ability to adapt and survive.
With its sophisticated methods of interpreting the physical
world and translating it into neural impulses, the brain is the
reason behind the continued existence of those beings that have
survived the test of timeincluding us.
Our brains embody something uniquea sense of purpose
and an all-encompassing consciousness. While we know that
our genes created the tangible facets of our body, it is worth
questioning:
Who or what created the intangible mind that seems to
coordinate it all?
Studies on animals like ants, birds, and fishes swarming
behavior have proven how a collective intelligence within the
group causes thousands of organisms to move as one. There
is a purpose behind the genesis of such an esoteric epicenter.
This collective intelligencethe overarching control center
of the enterprisefunctions to collaborate, accommodate,
and exchange information between individual entities. But this
intricate connectedness emerges only when an optimal minimum
is reached. As living entities collaborate to reach a critical mass,
synergistic thinking begins. Just as pixels on the screen can express
themselves as a recognizable image, the synergistic thinking of
different elements expresses itself as the control center of the
enterprise. This is not a hypothetical philosophy but the basic
property of all co-existing entities in a thriving network.
One particular study of locusts found that once the number
of locusts reaches a certain threshold, they begin to move
together, each attempting to move in line with its neighbor.
Sharks, too, form interconnected clusters known as modules.
Sharks within a specific module are more interdependent than
those outside of one. To avoid competing for fish, many modules
team up to form an even larger superpower within the sea.
Many of natures creatures navigate as modules, make collective
decisions, and form united survival strategies.
This intangible control center emerges in all instances
of teamwork. Consider soldiers at war.
Veteran Harold Macmillan admits to fearlessly facing the
enemys brutality while surrounded by his men in the battlefield
during World War I. One day, separated from his troops and
overcome with fear, he realized that the poise he had in the face
of danger was dependent on the group confidence imparted by
his troops. He explains:
When one is in action, especially when one is responsible
for men under ones command, proper behavior, even
 acts of gallantry, is part of the show. One moves and
behaves almost automatically, as a member of a team or
an actor on the stage.
On the battlefield, guided by a collective intelligence derived
from uncompromising teamwork, soldiers unite for a common
purpose and act as one brave super organism.
Team sports are another easily recognizable act of collective
intelligence, and this teamwork results in far more than just wins
or losses. As the team herds up and down the playing field, a
mysterious phenomenon occurs. The pack starts to intuitively
act as one. When the team initially forms, each player has his or
her own input. But with successful teams, all of the input forms
one collective mind that fully takes over the players individuality.
Former coach of the Chicago Bulls, Phil Jackson (who is
considered one of the greatest basketball coaches of all time),
writes in his book, Sacred Hoops:
Basketball is a sport that involves the subtle interweaving
of players at full speed to the point where they are
thinking and moving as one a powerful group
intelligence emerges that is greater than the coachs ideas
or those of any individual on the team.
By forming teams, we commit to work together for a common
goal. In the case of sports, our goal is to win. In the case of life,
the goal is to survive.
Each player need not do anything extraordinary or make
any significant sacrifice to participate in these cooperative
ventures.
By understanding the internal collaboration of such intricate
ecosystems and teamwork, we come to better know ourselves.
Each entity, be it the individual cell of a human body or a single
bee in a colony, is powered by its own intelligence.
The individual intelligences of these smaller entities
collectively form a greater super intelligence that ensures the
groups well being.
What we ultimately refer to as the human mind is the result
of a collective intelligence made up of the innumerable elements
that comprise the body. This collective intelligencethe mind
is thus an elusive space where decision making, memories,
thoughts, and feelings create a separate identity.
Here is where the me emerges.
It is because of this collective intelligence that all complex life
forms on earth have an identity and a distinct self. Humans are
merely more refined at expressing their sense of self than many
other life forms.
By creating intangible layers of identity, our minds
distinguish between the self and the rest of the world.
For any physical entity to exist, it has to exhibit the ability to
separate itself from its environment. Everything, down to the
tiniest parts of our DNA, couldnt exist without some sort of
capsule to contain it. Our skin is our most obvious outer barrier,
shielding us from external threats; each of our organs is likewise
protected with layers. Without a membrane, life forms could not
survive against myriad outside dangers.
Apart from our physical barriers, our minds add proverbial
layers of association to further create a distinct sense of self,
which serve as survival tools and help the physical body thrive.
In order to survive, we rely on these physical and mental
boundaries to ensure balance and to protect against
disintegrationhousing our self-identity and maintaining our
self- preservation.
What we know as an individual is actually a dynamic
product of a lifetime of lamination, creating a unique
cornucopia of identifying layers.
This psychological layering begins right from birth. We are
born into a particular way of life chosen for us by those we
depend on most, our guardians. Our upbringing is affected by a
multitude of factors, the majority of which revolve around the
circumstances of our caregivers. Influences like the education
level of our parents, their income bracket, parenting style,
popular media exposure, and personal associations all work to
dictate what we are influenced by and, consequently, who we
become. Those born into monarchial royal families, for instance,
are trained to add certain defining layers to strategically mold an
image of royalty. The associations work to maximize survival,
providing royals with an abundance of necessitiesso it
makes sense that royalty works hard to protect their established
identities.
One of the first external influences we are exposed to is
perhaps the most powerful shaper of our identityreligious
culture (or lack thereof). Most religious indoctrination occurs
well before our ability to comprehend the circumstances and
make a decision based on any sort of substantial understanding
or rationalization. For most of us, religious indoctrination
actively conditions our minds and shapes the lens through which
we will forever view the worldeven before we are aware of its
consequences. Religion, or lack thereof, will continue to dictate
our ways of life far beyond our childhood years.
After we exit adolescence, we gain more personal freedom
in what we choose to expose ourselves to and in what layers of
the self wed like to obtain. Thus we embark on one of the most
important survival journeys. We begin to systematically adopt
ourselves into societal frames, adding layers of associations to
create our distinct roles within our environments.
By entering into these roles and fulfilling the imposed
requirements, we each become someone.
Simply by being a part of civilized livingan active participant
in social constructswe tacitly agree to live within arbitrary
boundaries and become captive to these layers of identity. This
ego-self becomes who we define ourselves as, which determines
every aspect of how we behave and interact with others.
If we look carefully, we will see that subscribing to a role,
and thereby associating ourselves with a title, is a tool used to
organize and achieve harmonious and civilized living among all
people within a society in order to thrive. Despite the artificial
legitimacy of such identifications, we become mired in the scripts
we have written.
We grow blind to the fact that our ego-selves are only
creations powered by our mindsa mere survival strategy.
This ego-selfa collection of transitory titles, relationships,
associations, opinions, and expectationsis in constant flux.
Today, I am a student. Tomorrow, I am a graduate. I am employed. I am
unemployed. I am single. I am married. I am divorced. I am widowed.
After we find ourselves bound by the very layers we have
created, we ask, Is there a way out? We attempt to find solace in
replacing one title with another; weve all heard tales of individuals
taking a risk by leaving an established career for an entirely new
path, changing their identity in the process. This identity is
so strong that even if we release ourselves from many of the
associations into which weve been inducted, the question
remains:
Can we give up all of our ego-possessionsall of our
mental associations?
Take the story of Sekhar:
A young man in his mid-twenties, Sekhar was set to marry
and, being born of Brahmins (a priestly caste in India), had an
inclination toward a spiritual journey ahead. At a crossroad,
Sekhar flirted with the idea of leaving it all and, after deep
contemplation, decided to abandon his marriage and family and
escape to the woods for penance. Now bound to nothing, Sekhar
felt like a free man, void of any role or responsibility. He even
gave up clothing in exchange for a piece of deerskin he wore as
a loincloth.
After weeks in the forest, Sekhar faced his first obstaclerats
were eating away his loincloth while he slept. He fetched a dried
pumpkin to protect it during the night, but unfortunately the
pumpkin was no match for the pesky rats. In an attempt to ward
off the rodents when his other methods failed, he decided to
raise a cat. But this solution created a new set of problemshe
needed food for his new pet. Sekhar quickly realized he couldnt
feed the cat by himself, so he found a nearby tribe and begged
for a cow so that he could provide the cat with milk. Then he
needed to learn how to milk the cow, and when a young tribal girl
was tasked with offering him lessons, Sekhar once again found
himself dependent upon others.
The girl was of marrying age and eventually could no longer
dedicate time to Sekhars needs. Unwilling to sacrifice the
company of the girl, Sekhar agreed to marry her and promised her
father that he would care for her in sickness and in need. Shortly
after they married, the cow became sick and died, which meant
Sekhar needed to obtain another one from the tribe. In exchange
for this second cow, the tribe demanded that Sekhar teach the
communitys children how to read and write. Now, Sekhars time
would be spread between teaching the kids and caring for his
wife and animals. Despite Sekhars plan to escape the bounds
of family life and material possessions, he found himself back
where he starteda busy man with endless responsibilities.
Like Sekhar, we find it exceedingly difficult to escape the roles
that society imposes upon us. These roles serve a purpose: to
create an organized living structure that promotes the survival
of everyone involved. As real to us as our own physical forms,
our ego-selves serve as the framework that encourages us to
participate meaningfully in our communitiesto thrive. It is this
ego-self that creates robust solutions to every challenge that we
face in life.
Our lives revolve around the constructs weve built.
Consider a social encounteryou meet a stranger in whom
you are interested. How are you? you might begin. Then the
conversation shifts to something banal, perhaps traffic or the
weather. We say anything and everything except what it is that
we are really wondering: What do you do? How much money do you
make? Whats your ethnicity? Are you married? Are you religious? Are you
kind to your siblings? What are your passions? Are you educated? This is
whats important, what actually matters to us at the end of the
day. Whether or not wed like to admit it, our ego-selves
determine partnerships, marriages, friendships, business deals,
and essentially all of the day-to-day interactions we have with
others. As humans, we cling to the act of role-playing because it
is the only way we know how to engage in organized living.
The key to freeing yourself from the binds of such roles
is the understanding that these things are merely what we
do, not who we actually are.
Because they are nothing more than mental constructs, our
ego-selves start to fade away as our memories weaken. As we
approach the last stages of our lives, after years of layering
identity-defining traits, our associations with those labels begin
to fade. Our children move out of our homes, we retire from
our jobs, we lose our spouses to old agewe begin to dissociate
ourselves from all of the things that at one time made us, us. As
critically acclaimed writer Haruki Murakami puts it in A Wild
Sheep Chase:
Most everything you think about me is nothing more
than memories.
At age 84, a man by the name of Joe lived in a residential
nursing home and received visits from his wife and daughter
almost every day. During one particular visit, the pair brought
him a card.
He read the cover of the greeting card aloud. 48? he asked.
Whats that about?
His daughter reminded him gently, Dad, you and mom have
been married for 48 years today.
His response was disheartening as his wife and daughter
stood by, Oh, Im married?
His mind had lost all of its associations as the thread of
memory slowly began to loosenall of his lifes milestones had
vanished into thin air. What happened to all of the roles that Joe
playedhusband, father, grandfather, retired contractor, skilled
musician? The content of his mind vanished, one identifier at a
time.
The life of the dead is set in the memory of the living,
expresses Marcus Tullius Cicero, a prolific Roman philosopher.
All of our associations are based in our memory, and as it fades
with age, so too does our capacity to maintain our roles within
those complex relationships. As our lifespans have become
much longer, many more years are spent in various states of
diminishing memory.
Our inability to comprehend our former associations isnt
only emotionally devastating, it also puts our identitiesour
uniquenessat stake. This is a direct threat to our survival.
We have become oblivious to the fact that, from the days of
hunter-gatherers, humans have methodically trained themselves
to assume roles within society in order to perform important
survival tactics. This is why its nearly impossible to let go of
the social roles we assumethey are hardwired within us. This
is also what makes the inevitable phase of life when we can no
longer remember our defining roles so troubling. As Mark Twain
aptly observes, Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind
the most.
As our memories wither away, other faculties like rationality,
judgment, and creativity quickly follow suit. The closer we get to
our imminent mortality, the less energy our minds exert on trivial
matters that once consumed us. As we approach our last phases
of aging, the pace of our minds disassociation only quickens.
From birth, our minds content expands. Eventually, though,
these associations begin to contract, making us infantile and
dependent once again. We tend to treat the very old like children,
referring to them as cute and so sweet, often refusing to take them
too seriously. As we age, we exchange our adult roles as care givers
for the role of care receivers.
While the layers peel away as we age, one association
never wanesthe instinct to survive.
In a desperate attempt to combat mortality, our minds resort
back to their most basic, primitive skills. Even when unconscious,
our bodies retain traces of these reflexes and resort to them
when our learned habits fail. Doctors, for instance, check for
primitive reflexes to evaluate an adult in an unconscious state,
such as a coma. Those same reflexes surface again as our
accumulated intelligence and higher functions fade. But this
basic arsenal of primitive reactions is no match against the
forces of nature. As the capacities of the mind diminish, the
physical form starts to degenerate. As our minds disintegrate,
nothing is left to power the bodies they inhabit.
When death approaches, we exit the world as we entered
itas nearly empty vessels, equipped only with the most basic
means for our survival.
 Chapter Twelve

Survival: How Do I Ease the Dissonance

of Death?
 After the bare requisites to living and reproducing,
man wants most to leave some record of himself, a
proof, perhaps, that he has really existed.
John Steinbeck

I once asked a patient who was admitted to the hospital for a

serious infection, What makes you keep going? Even after
dozens of hospitalizations, a heart transplant followed by a
kidney transplant and frequent infections, I wanted to know
what powered him to persevere against all odds.
His reply was not surprising. I just want to live, he said. I
dont know what keeps me going. My children are grown and
have moved on with families of their own. My wife died years
ago. But I want to keep living. He is not alone in his unwavering
desirethe persistence for survival lies deep within us all.
The primary actions of our bodiesfeeding, fleeing, fighting,
and the instinct to leave a legacyserve as a means to one end:
maximizing survival. What makes us responsive to change, what
keeps us striving, is our prodigal minds.
This impulse to keep going in the face of all adversities,
to endure all insults and hardships, is built into each one of
natures inhabitants.
When algae in the Gulf of Mexico dont get enough nutrients,
they focus their remaining energy on becoming more and more
poisonous to ensure their survival. By producing highly toxic
chemicals, the algae defend themselves by harming other life
in their surroundings. When it comes to survival, struggle for
self-preservation trumps even the concern for the well-being
of nature. As Bill Bryson describes in A Short History of Nearly
Everything:
Disassemble the cells of a sponge (by passing them
through a sieve, for instance), then dump them into a
solution, and they will find their way back together and
build themselves into a sponge again. You can do this to
them over and over, and they will doggedly reassemble
because, like you and me and every other living thing,
they have one overwhelming impulse: to continue to be.
This will to be governs the behavior of all creatures. Even
though we know that nothing is permanenteverything breaks
down, wears outwe still strive for permanency. We yearn to
leave a testimony of our existence. Our homes, our spouses, our
children, and our achievements are all attempts to leave a lasting
legacy. To this point, John Steinbeck in The Pastures of Heaven
writes:
After the bare requisites to living and reproducing, man
wants most to leave some record of himself, a proof,
perhaps, that he has really existed. He leaves his proof
on wood, on stone or on the lives of other people. This
deep desire exists in everyone, from the boy who writes
dirty words in a public toilet to the Buddha who etches
 his image in the race mind.
When were young, we like to think that were going to
last forever. But death is as true as life itself.
To accommodate our desire to live forever, our minds have
developed their own exquisite interpretations of immortality.
Every culture throughout history has created its own beliefs
regarding eternity. These beliefs are then treated as facts,
despite the absence of any direct, observable evidence.
Consider this ancient Greek custom: A proper burial was
regarded not only as a sign of respect for the dead but also a way
of ensuring that the body entered into the afterlife. For Greeks,
death was merely a souls journey from one world to another. For
this reason, the dead were laid to rest in lavish tombs equipped
with goods for the soul to use in the afterlife.
All that we regard to be true about resurrection is based
entirely on faith.
Why? Because a belief surrounding the idea of life after
death, regardless of its validity, gives us a sense of comfort in
the face of our mortality. While striving to ease the dissonance
of death through explanations that seem to rely on transient
notions, we are drawn into our faith with such fortitude that
its as if each belief is permanently absolute. If we believe in an
ideal that promises salvation, we will conform to that ideal more
readily. Our minds treat this ideal as the absolute truth and will
use countless rationalizations and justifications as the means to
this end. As a result, all that we perceive, conceive, experience,
and feel about our beliefs becomes almost tangibly real to us.
And while these beliefs about immortality remain outside
the realm of hard facts, biology has provided us with a form
of immortality that is irrefutable: genetic legacy, or the act of
extending ourselves into the future.
Regardless of innumerable life-after-death myths, we know
one thing is certain: All life forms achieve a state of continuity
by the recycling or re-creation of their elements.
With procreation, its as though we dont die at allwe
simply vanish into our progeny.
Continuous regeneration helps life forms achieve their
ultimate desire: To maintain a state of both permanency and
diversity. Permanency is achieved by passing on genetics and
creating an infinite bloodline; diversity is accommodated by
breeding new, unique forms of life.
Each creature is ingeniously equipped with the ability to
re-create itselfits lifenot in the theistic sense of resurrection,
but by passing on its characteristics and acquired wisdom
to its offspring. We survive forever through our children and
our childrens childrenimmortalized through this legacy. Bill
Bryson observes, We are all reincarnationsthough short-lived
ones. When we die our atoms will disassemble and move off to
find new uses elsewhereas part of a leaf or other human being
or drop of dew.
Our life cycle is characterized by seamless stages, each of
which allows our minds to develop different strategies with one
overarching goal:
Keep living.
Butterflies, for instance, experience a larval stage. The
caterpillar, after hatching from its egg, doesnt stop eating for
about two to three weeks, during which time it grows trem-
endously.
 When physical maturation is achieved, the caterpillar
enters adulthood, and numerous hormonal changes lead to a
biochemical disassembly of its current form, transforming it
into a beautiful butterfly. The creative destruction of one form
births another. The young butterfly will now seek out a mate and
allow the cycle of life to repeat once again.
Bernard Heinrich, an eminent biologist, writes:
The radical change that occurs does indeed arguably
involve death followed by reincarnation.
It appears as though one form (the caterpillar) completely
transforms itself into another form (the butterfly) in a blatant
example of how the core of life devises many survival strategies
in order to actively participate in this web of creation. Like
human infants, caterpillars possess a strong capacity to thrive,
specialized for little else but feeding during the period of
preparation before the next phase of life. Butterflies are
fine-tuned for flight and reproduction, comparable to an adult
leaving the nest and gearing up for procreation.
The human life cycle is less blatant, but we can still see
how our survival strategies are typified at each stage. The first
is comprised of our feed and grow stage, the second is our
procreation stage, and the third is our reproductive-capacity
stage. Separating these first two distinct periods is the transient
phase of puberty. While this time is considered to be simply
transitory, it is actually a prominent point with its own unique
physical and mental characteristics.
Puberty is meant to be a phase in our lives during which we
blossom from small, dependent creatures into prepared, self-
sufficient adults capable of propagating life. From a biological
standpoint, this is the most important juncture in the life of
humans. Any malfunction in this process means the organism
may lose the ability to pass on its genes.
Because of the evolutionary pressure involved in
preparing us for reproduction, puberty is probably the most
tumultuous phase of human life.
Our minds, at this time, are constantly obsessed with instant
gratification, persistently seeking the promise of immediate
pleasure and psychological security. This is our minds way
of pressuring us to reproduceby forcing us to make sexual
gratification our top priority. For this reason, the desire to
breed remains the most powerful impulse in all of nature.
Friction ignites between teens and their parents when parents
fail to recognize the teenage minds pleasure-obsessed makeup,
particularly because an adult, whos already exited puberty, will
often have long subdued these seemingly juvenile attachments to
transitory and immediate pleasures.
The incapacity to empathize with our pubescent children is
an example of the stark evolution of the mind throughout the
different phases of life. Our minds desires run the gamut at each
stage of the aging process. As we grow, our priorities shift from
the need for instant gratification (brought on by the necessity to
spread our legacy) to the desire to nurture our offspring.
Our cravings are entirely strategicthe minds sophisticated
way of preserving its form. When we reach the phase of
reproductive capacity and essentially copy ourselves into our
children, we experience a level of caring for our offspring
previously foreign to us.
We care for our children even more deeply than we care
for ourselves.
 Having a child is one of the most marvelous things that can
happen to anyone. Its not because it is a rare event but because,
through our children, we are given the opportunity to live
ona legacy immortalized by our progeny and their progeny.
Nearly every parent experiences joy from the birth of their own
child because that child is their footprint on this universe. This
gratification is the minds way of rewarding us for ensuring our
own fate.
Our children are also often our future caregivers for when we
are no longer able to care for ourselves. In ancient Greece, men
desired procreation to ensure that their names and traditions
would be carried on and that someone would be able to make an
offering at their graves. Those who didnt father children often
adopted orphans to fill the void.
Our innate, undeniable craving for immortality causes
those of us who cant reproduce to feel internal conflict
an intrapersonal agony.
Those unable to procreate tend to feel emptiness or, perhaps
on some level, even embarrassment. These powerful emotions
are yet another strategy of our prodigal mind to pressure us into
trying every means possible to reproduce.
Why is nature so cruel?
Because unless the mind creates an internal crisis, the organism
may simply choose not to produce offspring. Remember, the goal
of any life form is to make more copies of itself. To compensate
for the feeling of inadequacy triggered when we cant or choose
not to procreate, we search for other means of living on after
our time. We strive to leave a legacy with a lustrous career, a
fascinating personal memoir, or a breathtaking monumentall
alternative routes to a sort of immortalization.
While our goal is to leave a lasting legacy through our progeny,
we dont want to leave just any impressionwe want to leave our
very best. To ensure that our children have an even better life
than us, we are equipped with a fine-tuned sexual selector.
Our mating behavior is driven solely by our survival-
focused minds.
Behind the faade of romance, at the end of the day, we want
to mate with the most attractive, successful individuals so that
we produce the most attractive, successful children. A struggle
exists in balancing the importance of compatibility while
focusing on quality genetics.
By understanding our minds tendencies, we know why a young
woman might seek a tall and handsome man. Its a preferred
survival adaptationfrom an evolutionary perspective, being tall
helps protect against predators and good looks ensure attractive
offspring. Attractiveness helps increase the likelihood of mating,
thus ensuring the longevity of a bloodline.
But, after a womans reproductive years, her priorities often
shift againsometimes automatically. Driven once more by our
survival tendencies, our desires for an attractive, successful mate
give way to longing for a more caring partner. This explains the
assertion often made by long-married couples who divorce later
in life: We grew apart.
Unfortunately, despite our tireless quest for that perfect
someone, we never actually attain that utopian relationship.
Why?
Because our mating behavior seeks newness, and, as
mentioned earlier, nature desires diversity. Notice how no two
things in the universe are identicalsimilarly, our minds crave
such fluidity.
We reflect natures love of diversity in our own personal
preferences. Think to yourselfwould you ever wear the same
outfit to the office two days in a row? Most likely not unless you
had to. Do we want to eat the same exact food more than a few
times in a row? Probably not. Unless you deliberately make an
effort to achieve uniformity, youll innately tend to seek diversity.
So, even when we settle down with a partner, our animalistic
desires for diversity never wane. Because men have the seemingly
infinite capacity to pass on their seed, they crave diversity in
mates even more so than women. From a purely evolutionary
standpoint, men are inclined to maximize their opportunity for
procreation and, in turn, the success of their own biological
legacy. This behavior is innate everywhere in nature.
As social beings, humans attempt to regulate such
animalistic instincts; we control these behaviors by forming
codes of conduct.
We struggle to find balance between our innate need for
sexual diversity and socially acceptable behavior in the name
of monogamous ideological contracts. To a large extent, the
structure of marriage is built upon this idea of regulating the
animalistic instinct inside of us.
Ultimately, by understanding how our minds lure us into
seeking newness, we transcend our minds temporal influence.
We are either driven by fear or desire.
At the crux of these is the preservation of self. Ironically,
most of our fears are based on desires. First its the fear of not
being able to obtain something or someone. Then its the fear
of losing what we now possess. Socrates describes the ever-
changing nature of our minds in this way:
If you dont get what you want, you suffer; if you get
what you dont want, you suffer; even when you get
exactly what you want, you still suffer because you cant
hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament.
Fear and desire are often one and the same.
All of our thoughts and actions are driven by our fear of death
and our desire to live on. Our minds sole purpose is to keep it
that way. Ask a person who was just diagnosed with cancer what
it is they fear and what it is they desire. If we can grasp the power
of these qualities, we will know why we do the things we do and
why we make the decisions we make.
No one is immune to the power survival has over our
behaviornot even the spiritual dignitaries we deem as
being near perfection.
Confucius, for instance, underwent a period of major
depression following the death of his most prized student.
Behind his love for the student and the sadness of his passing,
there laid a deep agony of not being able to pass on his legacy
through his beloved pupil.
Few men and women throughout history have successfully
transcended their minds limitations as mere survival machines.
Few have put their lives and legacy at stake for others outside of
their gene pool and successfully defeated their own basic survival
instinct. Those who have are a rare breed.
The rarity of true benevolence is the reason men like
Jesus are so highly revered.
Jesus isnt worshiped because of what he gave, but for what
he gave up. He is adored for his sacrificethe sacrifice of self.
Ironically, only by giving up himself did he become immortalized.
He lives forever in the minds of the many followers who worship
him to this day. Those who solely work for their own survival are
easily forgotten.
We must understand the nature of our minds and the power
of our survival instincts, not to become the next Jesus, Moses,
Buddha, or Muhammad, but to appreciate why and how we make
decisions at the most mundane levelgoverned by biological
urges for self-preservation.
 Chapter Thirteen

Perception: Is the World Merely What I

Perceive It to Be?
 The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns
to its original dimensions.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

There was once a farmer who had a careless son, Jos. The farmer
tells Jos that each time the boy does something wrong, hes going
to drive a nail into a post as a reminder of the boys thoughtless
actions. Each time he does something right, the father will draw
out one of the nails instead. It took a long while, but after seeing
so many nails in the post, the son finally resolved to be more
mindful and productive. As the weeks passed, he watched his
father remove the nails one by one. When it was time to pull
the final nail, the farmer called his son over to congratulate him.
He was surprised to find that Jos did not seem to share his joy.
When he asked why, the boy sobbed,

The nails are gone, but the scars are still there.
This adapted fable sumptuously paints the picture of our
minds willful memory. Just like the scars on the post, our
minds are constantly saving many life experiences, especially if
the experiences have any level of survival value. Some of these
experiences are stored subconsciously and, despite our best
efforts, are incredibly hard to erase.
How do our minds prioritize events and experiences? What powers our
minds to give more importance to one experience or event than another?
What guides our minds to seek pleasure and avoid pain? The answers
lie in understanding the actual functioning mechanism of our
minds.
As the control center, our minds function is to absorb
information using the organs of perception, transform that
information into knowledge, and lead us to action.
These abilities are known as qualiathe specific ways things
seem to us and how we interpret the world. Each minds qualia
are unique; therefore, our views of the world are based on what
we perceive, what we are aware of, and how we process that
information. Our nervous systems are merely physical conduits
that are reinforced by chemical transmitters for processing
information. It is within the intangible mental spaces of our
minds where cognition is actually realized. Not all experiences
and events are readily available to our surface cognition, though.
Our minds prioritize our experiences based on the affect
the circumstances have on our personal lives.
A house fire in a remote region of Guatemala may have
destroyed a family, but because it doesnt directly affect us, it
remains essentially irrelevantcompletely off of our mental
radars or perhaps given only momentary consideration. Or so
we think. In actuality, the awareness of this event will inevitably,
however subconsciously, alter the way we behave. Without even
being fully aware of why, we may suddenly notice ourselves
taking extra care to prevent a fire of our own. Why? Because our
minds use the subconscious to trigger our behavior and ensure
that we are doing everything possible to protect ourselves.
Consciously or subconsciously, because the event became a
part of our awareness, our minds will never again be exactly the
same. With each experience, the content of our mental spaces
are rearranged and the mind itself is reprogrammed. As Ralph
Waldo Emerson expresses:
The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns
to its original dimensions.
Much of our minds content is accumulated not by choice,
but by simply absorbing all of the information to which it is
exposed. Try this mental exercise: Take a five-day break from all
mediaunplug yourself from the incessant noise of the news.
Youll notice that void of all the distraction, your minds constant
chatter quiets down. This is the very reason religions prescribe
the practice of pilgrimages and contemporary gurus recommend
retreats and meditation. Outside of a religious context, sports
professionals also deprive themselves of all external stimuli for
short periods to prepare for important games. By being away
from the non-stop din of our routines, we see things more
clearly and can better organize our thoughts.
By allowing ourselves moments of silence, we will make
better sense of the disturbances around us.
What makes an experience really stick in our minds? Think of big,
life-changing events. When we call something life changing, we
arent only referring to the fact that our daily routines are now
different; we are alluding to the fact that our actual minds, which
process everything and act as the lens through which we view the
world, are forever altered.
Our minds processing is a unique blend of various factors
playing a complex symphony and producing different solutions
to handle each situation. No one besides you actually knows
exactly what is going on in this private mental space of your
mind.
Our minds are an evolving narrative constructed from
accessible information, plausible observation, and changing
interpretations. Through these routines, our memories of the
past are always shaping our present. For the most part, this is
beyond our conscious control. Because our identities are based
on this process, we are in essence constantly in flux, a new person
after the occurrence of each and every life event we experience.
No man ever steps in the same river twice, for its not the same
river and hes not the same man, Heraclitus, a gifted Greek
philosopher, once said.
How does the mind prioritize events and experiences?
With any calamity, be it the death of a spouse or a natural
disaster, our minds will evaluate how much our survival is
affected, which in turn will determine how we react.
The more our lives are affected, the more passionate our
reactions will be.
A father and his son spent two years building the familys
dream home. Over time, the father grew especially attached to the
magnificent house. But then he went on a six-month pilgrimage
and, upon his return, found that his beloved home had burned
to the ground. He was devastated. A short time later, his son
came home to tell his father that before the fire occurred, he had
sold the home and made an excellent profit. Almost immediately,
the fathers agony eased and was replaced with relief. In a mere
flicker, his attitude changed. It was not the house that really
mattered but how the house affected the life of his family that
influenced the mans state of mind. What is important to us can
change in an instant based solely on how our lives are impacted.
What is the use of knowing our minds purpose?
Because survival plays such an intricate role in our evaluation
of importance, the purpose of our lives is often defined by how
much we are worth in regard to the survival of those around
us. There are at least two instances that helped me to realize
this truth, both of which happened while I was working as an
attending physician at a community hospital.
The first is the case of a 49-year-old Down syndrome patient
named Josh, who succumbed to a bad case of pneumonia that
ultimately led to respiratory failure. No matter what we did to
treat him, he was unable to survive the illness. His family finally
came to terms with the futility of treatment and advised palliative
care. Josh passed away two days later.
Josh had lived in a nursing home for most of his adult life. He
was visited weekly by his family, which consisted of two brothers
and a sister, each in their fifties and all in good health. A few days
after his death, I ran into Joshs sister in the hospital and asked
how the family was coping with their loss. She responded that
a sense of peace and calmness, not devastation, came from her
brothers passing. The family was relieved that Josh no longer
had to endure agonizing life-prolonging treatments. The health
complications he experienced as a result of his disability caused
him to become increasingly dependent upon others as he aged,
preventing him from enjoying many of the things he loved to do
and that once brought him joy.
 His death brought a type of solace to his familyJosh
was now free from his suffering.
A few weeks after Joshs death, I encountered what I thought
was a similar scenario. This patient was a 55-year-old man named
Rick who had become a paraplegic after a motorcycle accident
some 30 years ago. Since then, he had been dependent on his
wife and children for even his most basic needs. As the result
of an indwelling urinary catheter, he suffered frequent urinary
tract infections that required multiple hospitalizations. This
time, the infection led to severe sepsis. Despite maximal medical
treatment, Rick didnt survive, leaving his wife and two children
behind. A few months after his death, I called his wife to see how
she was coping and to set up a time to meet with her.
What I found was that his wife was still as devastated by
his passing as she had been when the news was first
delivered.
I wondered why she was so overcome by his loss even when
Rick had been bedridden and completely dependent, unable
to provide for his family or to engage with life in the way he
had before his accident. I had assumed that, though of course
the death of any loved one is extremely painful, she might also
recognize that, in another way, the burden of her husbands
around-the-clock care and the struggles Rick faced from the
physical limitations of his body had been lifted. Instead, she told
me:
Rick was my mental support. Even though he was
physically disabled, he was my source of strength. Now
that hes gone, I feel a void; the only source of strength
in my life is missing. Even from his bed, he advised us
 about some of the most important decisions we had to
make as a family. I always followed his advice, and it
almost always worked. He was constantly there to listen
to my feelings. He was a great emotional support to our
entire family.
Although this was not the reaction I was expecting, it made
complete sense to me. Despite Ricks physical limitations, he was
emotionally strong and a source of psychological support for his
loved ones, which provided an immense survival benefit.
At the end of the day, our value is based on how useful
our contributionswhether emotional or physical,
intangible or tangibleare to society.
The death of Steve Jobs, for instance, was felt across the
world, not because the life in him was any different than that of
Ricks or Joshs, but because of his legendary contributions.
Dedicating all of our time to ourselves can lead to unhappiness,
dissatisfaction, and depression. Once our survival needs are met,
we must shift our focus from the needs of the self to the needs
and care of others.
Ultimately, every life form on this earth is merely trying to
thrive.
So, what makes people different from other life forms on
this planet?
It is humans ability to rationalize, to organize through the
creation of societal norms, and to master complex survival
techniques that makes us feel superior to the rest of earths
creatures.
Because of our superior cognitive abilities, we have
stratified the inhabitants of nature into a hierarchy of
importanceputting humans just behind God and placing
all other creatures beneath us.
While we are endowed with an enriched ability to civilize
ourselves, our animalistic instincts are never completely
suppressed. When faced with a life or death situation, our desires
to adhere to societal norms go out the window. Even the most
obedient person will find that his or her basic instincts take over,
making us no different than any other animal in nature.
When panic strikes, all bets are off.
Shin Dong-hyuk was born the son of two Korean prison
labor camp inmates and spent his childhood inside the walls of
Camp 14. Shin lived with his mother and older brother until his
early teens, knowing little of his father. With his entire life spent
in a prison camp, Shin lived in constant survival modefighting
against starvation-level food rations, painful labor, and brutal
violence. Without adequate sustenance available, Shins life was
focused solely on one goal: Survival. This meant no time for
emotional bonds or societal norms. The only thing that mattered
was his instinct to live.
At 22, Shin escaped Camp 14 with the help of a new inmate
who had become an ally. Shins partner was killed while climbing
the electric fence surrounding the camp. Without hesitation, Shin
scrambled over his partners corpse to freedom. With no regard
to moral codes, it was stealing, lying, and fighting that ultimately
led Shin to freedom. Although Shin remains free, adjusting to
life outside Camp 14 has been anything but easy. Controlling his
survival instincts is challenging, as he explains in the book Escape
from Camp 14, I am evolving from being an animal.
What separates man from other animals is not his
survival tactics, but his ability to look at the entirety of his
mind and inquire into its quintessential purpose.
When asked if he is ever attracted to women, for instance,
the Dalai Lama once said, Yes, good looking women catch my
attention, but I quickly remind myself that I am a monk.
By knowing all about our own minds, we can understand
the logic behind our fears and desires. We develop the unique
capability to examine all of the tricks our minds play for self-
preservation. Only then can we train ourselves to outsmart many
of our animalistic survival instincts.
 Chapter Fourteen

Permanence:
Going Beyond the Mind
 A man who knows himself can step outside himself
and watch his own reactions like an observer.
Adam Smith

Our thought processes are wrought with seemingly contradictory

ideas and opinions. Our cravings for greasy food are at odds
with our unwavering desires to be healthy. Our longings for
community conflict with our urges to dominate others. Our
yearnings for relaxation are trumped by our obsessions with
stimulation.

It is the need of the moment that dictates our states of

mind.
Our feelings, decisions, and emotions reign king. We hear an
endless voice within our heads driving us to seek that which will
fulfill our urges at any given time. Can you calm a mothers mind
whose child is sick in bed? What about a person experiencing a
financial crisis? Or, on the other end of the spectrum, someone
who has just won a hefty jackpot? While our struggles and
glories seem all-important and unique to us, most of our life
experiences are recycled and repetitive.
 As primitive individuals, we were hunter-gatherers struggling
to survive in the face of adversities. As modern humans,
we are doing the same, but under a different disguisea
construct created over thousands of years in the name of social
organization. But our ultimate struggle has remained more or
less unchanged.
Our minds today have the same purpose as the minds of
our ancestorsto seek pleasure and avoid pain.
As a means to this end, our minds add numerous associations
throughout life to accomplish the many tasks necessary to thrive.
The result: a vast, exclusive world created within our mental
spaces. In light of this, Rabindranath Tagore, a Bengali, Noble-
prize-winning poet, expresses:
Most people believe the mind to be a mirror, more or
less accurately reflecting the world outside them, not
realizing on the contrary that the mind is itself the
principal element of creation.
The job of our minds is to take care of our bodily needs:
Seek out help, prepare for the future, and build dependable
relationships.
To this end, our mind-created ego-selves say, I am
incomplete. I need love, I need pity, I need attention.
To appease our minds, we pursue an endless number of ways
to satisfy our needs for sustenance and love. A baby bemoans his
mother if she is late for feeding and expresses anger and fear if
his needs go unmet. This needy attitude continues throughout
our lives, and while it may seem somewhat immature, it is actually
our minds distinctive strategy to optimize our well-being.
 Is there anything within me that is beyond the mind?
Everyone seems to agree that within each persons mind is
the space where all thinking occurs. If this space vanishes, the
entire human experience disappears. This essentially makes me
merely the sum total of all of the experiences happening in this
mental space. Held together by the thread of memory, the me
appears and disappears with the mind.
But the quintessential questions are these: What is the
background upon which all of our experiences rise and fall? What is the
substratum upon which our ever-changing minds function?
These answers will crack the code of all existence.
All forms of nature, from their origins to their demise, have
various life experiences that come and goall processed in our
mental spaces. Each of us is a pattern of nature bundled into a
physical form and equipped with a control center: the mind. The
inner world of each of us is different, but our experiences are
not ours alone.
We influence and are influenced by many factors ranging
from the time of day, what foods we eat, our past and present
experiences, and the people with whom we associateeach
working constantly to transform our minds. We are influenced
not only by our immediate vicinity but also by the universe at large
(through cosmic events like the cycles of the moon and seasonal
variations), making our mental spaces far more expansive than
that which is contained in our heads.
Even before you know the world, the world already
knows youthe many factors responsible for your origin
and sustenance are set in place.
 Each individual mind is capable of sensing and responding to
events and experiences through a field of consciousness, not only
those within the body but also those in the expansive universe.
This all-embracing consciousness is the medium through which
life forms become cognizant of one another.
The world of a plant is different from that of a human, but
both work together for the survival of one another. To us, a
flower is an object of admiration, but to a plant it is the means
of reproduction. The myriad shapes, colors, and flavors of each
flower are part of a plants strategy for successful propagation.
The fact that humans share many chemical reactions and
biological functions with so many other species within nature
proves that all life shares a common essencea profound
testament to the oneness powering the life force within
everything. To this end, Tagore writes:
The same stream of life that runs through my veins
night and day runs through the world and dances in
rhythmic measures. It is the same life that shoots in joy
through the dust of the earth in numberless blades of
grass and breaks into tumultuous waves of leaves and
flowers.
This invisible force that joins all players of nature has been
termed universal consciousness. Consciousness, in our customary
usage, simply means a wakeful state of being, an awareness of
the world by way of perceptions, feelings, and thoughts. But
universal consciousness in this context refers to the pervasive
intelligence that comprises the essence of all beings, connecting
and sustaining life within each inhabitant of the world. It
permeates all elements of the universe as the force behind every
individual life forma collective intelligence that oversees and
ties together all living things.
 You, as a collection of experiences, are an integral part
of this universal consciousness.
You are not just a drop in the ocean, you also represent the
ocean in that drop. If you set out to explain or prove what this
consciousness is with scientific or philosophical explanations, you
are only luring yourself into confusing theories and conflicting
theistic ideals. What you are endlessly searching for is actually
your very essence.
To acknowledge the true essence of your own being, you
have to observe your mind in action.
To watch your mind, take a deep breath and revisit how we
first began, by asking yourself who you are. Be aware of all of
the responses that your mind pulls from its vast contentsthe
many definers that dictate, I am this or I am that. Now, take another
deep breath and shift your attention to the center within you that
is actually asking the question. If youve sincerely rendered this
exercise, youve accomplished an amazing feat. Youve witnessed
the real you in action. Youve experienced a brief glimpse of
realitythat unchanging background upon which the mind
projects its experiences.
Unfortunately, before you can even catch the meaning of
this profound revelation, your mind once again takes over by
pulling the various self-definers from its expansive knowledge
base, which are nurtured by culture, tradition, and conditioning.
Your mind intervenes, instantly passing off the ordeal as an
out-of-body experience or delusion. Or, even worse, your mind
dismisses this pursuit as a pointless preoccupationso you stop
before inquiring fully into the act of watching your mind.
There are three states of observation: The first is being
conscious of the worldyour mind is alert and active by
recognizing and making sense of the universe around you; the
second is being conscious of your mind in actionyou know
that your mind is active. In this state, you catch a glimpse of the
fact that you, as an observer, are watching your own mind. But
you may not make sense of this observation, and thus might stop
short of reaching the next state; the third is being the observer
of your own mindin this state, you are able to observe the
mind-created ego-self as the product of social and biological
conditioning. Its here that you will realize that the real you
your inner voiceis the observer of your mind.
To this effect, Adam Smith expresses,
The first thing you have to know is yourself. A man
who knows himself can step outside himself and watch
his own reactions like an observer.
Sages and prophets succeeded in the act of watching the
mind because they were persistent; they stayed in this state of
perceptual observation and watched their minds engage in all
of the mischief. Through earnest inquiry, they were able to pay
attention to their real selves apart from their experiences.
These thought leaders have done an immense favor to the
rest of us who cant dedicate an eternity to the introspection
necessary for discovering our truest selves: They have instituted
the act of prayer into our daily lives. By dedicating a specific
time and place in our busy days for prayer and reflection, we
allow moments of committed time for looking deep within
ourselves. During prayer, even if we are unable to abide in our
true selves, we at least acknowledge that there is an essence
within each of us apart from our mind-created egos. These
acts of daily reflectionChristians bowing their heads and
folding their hands, Hindus chanting mantras and performing
rituals, Sufis dancing in exhalation, Muslims practicing Salah, the
Jewish performing Tefilahare all various means to one end:
Acknowledging the source within and without, the all-pervading
transcendent.
What about self-improvement programs and various
spiritual training practices?
When we embark on a journey of self-improvement or
personality development, we are actually cultivating our ego-
selves to meet social and biological necessities. We strive all
of our lives to better ourselves emotionally, intellectually, and
psychologically in order to deal with society, our desires, and
our urgesall by disciplining our minds. Most of the time, we
confuse self-development programs with the actual process of
knowing our true selves.
Watching the true self shine within allows you to
appreciate your mind and body as bearers of life, not
sufferers of circumstances.
Attempting to find our real selves within our mental spaces
through popular self-improvement exercises is futile, because
the ground upon which the mind projects itself isnt located
within the content of our minds. Dont get trapped in some of
these so-called spiritual practices that do nothing but appease
our mind-created ego-selves.
Its only our ever-changing minds and our social
constructs that need to be organized and regulated. The
true self needs no improvement because the real you knows
neither future nor past.
 Youthe real self, that center within you, the true definition
of who you areexists only in the present. The ego-self needs the
aid of memory to categorize experiences and to act accordingly.
The real self is your very being. Accumulation of knowledge
about the real self does nothing but add content to your mental
space, a mere knowledge warehouse thats tied together by the
thread of memory and offers no sense of enlightenment.
The 13th century Muslim poet and theologian Rumi expresses
this distinction between the ego-self and the real self in the
poem Two Kinds of Intelligence:
There are two kinds of intelligence: one acquired,
as a child in school memorizes facts and concepts
from books and from what the teacher says,
as well as from the new sciences.

With such intelligence you rise in the world.

You get ranked ahead or behind others
in regard to your competence in retaining
information. You stroll with this intelligence
in and out of fields of knowledge, getting always more
marks on your preserving tablets.

There is another kind of tablet, one

already completed and preserved inside you.
A spring overflowing its springbox. A freshness
in the center of the chest. This other intelligence
does not turn yellow or stagnate. Its fluid,
and it doesnt move from outside to inside
through conduits of plumbing-learning.
 This second knowing is a fountainhead from within you,
moving out.
To go beyond our minds and access this second knowing
is to realize our limitations, distractions of desire, and
consequences of fear.
A cell in our body may recognize that it is a part of a greater
whole, but it may never be able to define all that is beyond it
simply because of its limited perceptive capacity. Likewise, all
that makes up the universal consciousness will always lie just
outside of our capacity to define it. To define is to limit, Oscar
Wilde explains.
Ancient seers of the East called this universal consciousness
the param-atman, and Judeo-Christian traditions called it the
Universal Spirit. When Lord Krishna said, I am the way, Jesus; I
am the light, Allah; I am the one, he wasnt referring to himself
in the limited way that his body was squeezed into the span
of a lifetime. He was speaking of the essence in which all of
existence is immersed, an intangible dimension where all beings
communicate, a realm without limitsthe Unbound Intelligence.
Once you recognize this, humility instinctually sets inyou
will feel the desire to express your reverence using all means
available. When prophets, sages, and seers recognized this
Unbound Intelligence, their reverence of this essence evolved
into prayers, songs, and spiritual stories. When these expressions
were transcribed into written form, they became scriptures and
treatisesthe holy testaments that we sincerely subscribe to and
idealize today.
All prophets proclaimed the same idea about the
existence of a universal consciousness.
 Why is it that the rest of us tend to divide, discriminate, and
disagree? Our minds purpose is to maintain identity by the act
of discrimination. Our mind-created identities preserve our
forms. Our minds organize information by grouping like ideas
and polarizing opposites. To divide, segregate, and discriminate
is our minds very purpose. To ensure a unique identity, we
must separate ourselves from the pack and consider ourselves
and our groups different from the rest. But in being aware of
our minds goal to accomplish this polarization, we can see the
greater connectedness behind the mask of division. Now, we can
clearly acknowledge that we are merely one particular life form
embarking on a specific experiencethe human experience.
Our bodies are the quanta and our minds are the qualia
together they form a physical entity capable of interaction with
many forms in the universe. The mind follows form, appearing
with its creation and disappearing with its demise. Behind this
changing quanta and qualia is the unchanging background, the
Dao, Spirit, Atmanall refer to the same unifying force.
Chapter Fifteen

The Purpose
It is said that God has created man in his own image.
But it may be that humankind has created God in the
image of humankind.
Thich Nhat Hanh

The crux of self-inquiry lies in seeing the truth for yourself.

Perhaps no one expresses this better than Gautama Buddha:
Do not believe in anything simply because you have
heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is
spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything
simply because it is found written in your religious books.
Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of
your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions
because they have been handed down for many
generations. But after observation and analysis, when
you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive
to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and
live up to it.
By understanding your mind, you will understand the entire
framework and mechanisms behind human expression. By
witnessing your mind in action, you will essentially acknowledge
your mind for what it isa tool to govern the care of your body.
You will find that the problems of every living being (and not
just human beings) are essentially the same: The desire for stress-
free survival.
The mind confines our outlooks to a mere bundle of
desires, pleasures, prejudices, and fears to safeguard the
body it inhabits.
To explain the nature of our existence and to rationalize
our suffering, human minds have created abstract ideals, and
the believers of those ideals congregated to form religions.
Then, to externalize those transcendent concepts, we developed
metaphors as a mental aid. Dan Brown writes about this in his
famous novel, The Da Vinci Code:
Every religion describes God through metaphor,
allegory, and exaggeration, from the early Egyptians
through modern Sunday school. Those who truly
understand their faiths understand the stories are
metaphorical.
While acknowledging God as a formless entity, you will see
how the human mind has created various names and forms to
characterize this transcendent being. As Zen Buddhist Thich
Nhat Hanh observes, It is said that God has created man in his
own image. But it may be that humankind has created God in the
image of humankind.
By way of watching your mind, you will see life beyond
a mere set of habits, emotions, and beliefs.
You will realize that, throughout history, each culture has
created barriers around it as a means to safeguard its patrons.
These proverbial barricades have managed to withstand the test
of time.
 Despite our instinct to polarize ourselves in the name
of survival, an indescribable connectioncall it love or
compassionpervades and dissolves our apparent separation.
This oneness transcends physical and emotional relationships; its
a deep connection that surfaces only when the ego-laden barriers
are lifted. When you recognize this irrefutable connection, you
will be able to love without conditions, without the expectation
of reciprocal support. The idea of soul mates comes to life.
Realizing your true self apart from the mind-created ego-self
is profoundly liberating, and when you do, suddenly the universe
appears immensely blissful. That formless essence within each
of us is reflected in every pattern of nature, just as the reflection
of the sun appears in every drop of morning dewfresh and
pure.
We become distracted from this Truth by the minds
obsession with an accumulation of knowledge.
The act of accumulating knowledge about transcendent
concepts and the ability to actually experience the inner essence
that these concepts signify are two very different things. For many
of us, God is understood by adding more and more content to
our mental spaces.
You will realize that, in actuality, the Truth, Spirit, or
Soul is not something to be externally sought outit is
something within you to be realized.
A sense of connection to all of existence comes with this
understanding, as well as clarity of thought and integrity of
action. Arbitrary boundaries erected by cultures and religions
will no longer be barriers to your instinct to act for the greater
good. Youll realize that marriage, social status, nations, money,
and education are merely social constructs created by human
minds to aid in the survival of self and community.
By seeing the world through a clear lens void of these mind-
created cultural and societal influences, you will see your true
self as the direct witness to all that is transient and ephemeral.
You will directly experience the Unbound Intelligence.
 Acknowledgments

Eternal thanks to my precious family for believing in my idea

from the very start.
I am deeply thankful to Britney Alexandra for working
diligently as my editor in the three years during which this book
took shape, particularly for her help in enabling me to share my
thoughts with the world. It has truly been a blessing to have you
as part of the development of Unbound Intelligence.
I extend my gratitude to my teachers and mentors, both
past and present, for serving as a guiding light and providing
inspiration for shaping my thoughts into a meaningful collection.
Finally, Id like to thank every reader of Unbound Intelligence,
without whom this book would not be possible. I hope that you
find what youre looking for and realize once and for all that the
ladder to happiness is not one of infinite rungs.
 About the Author

Dr. Rajeev Kurapati is American Board Certified in Family

Medicine and holds an MBA from the University of Missouri.
He currently works as a full-time, hospital-based physician in the
Greater Cincinnati area.
Practicing medicine as a physician is his passion. His calling,
though, transcends the confines of medical practice. By uniting
the wisdom of spiritual traditions, the theories of science, and
the nature of biology, he strives to empower readers to better
understand the complex workings of humans and their minds.
Born and raised in India, he now resides in Cincinnati, USA
with his family.
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