Desiderium: The God Machine

By
Ted Gerard
#
"Soon, it'll be soon." I said it with a smile.
I knew something was wrong. I cant believe I was so stupid I thought I had compensated for the variance
in the temporal pathways. Not enough of an electromagnetic pull in the core to keep the tachyons stable. I
looked over and saw Peters remains spread across the terminal. I knew I would be next.
Im...dying! I could feel different parts of my body as they began to shift through various moments in the
tapestry of space-time.
It's not so bad. I thought.
Death can't be that bad. Life is hell. It's a beautiful bittersweet hell but hell nonetheless. The pain in my
chest had subsided again but only briefly. I thought to myself that the pain could return at any moment.
They were all I had left. Moments...coming one jagged breath after another, as the thrumming started in
the back of my head I could feel the exhaustion as it began to cover me like a thin opaque veil and set
into the creases of my bones forcing me into unconsciousness.
Id heard from the old vids of survivors of the Philadelphia Project that temporal sickness felt like this;
pieces of your body being torn away and transferred to another place in space-time. But none of the
survivors ever spoke about the affect it had on the mind. Your mind fractures along the edges of each
temporal plane simultaneously showing you random past, present and future occurrences and variable
alternate happenings. After a while your brain begins to drown in all of the information. I wasnt sure if I
could survive another jaunt much less the first one.
I blacked out. I do not know how long Id been unconscious. It could have been a moment or an eternity.
Once you realize that the human brain's process of perception is based on a neuro-chemical reaction to
what is really only subatomic matter in constant temporal flux then you understand that there is no such
thing as only subjective, objective or even relative truth but instead all truth is all encompassing.
Just then the oddest thought came to me. During our last few games Id begun to feel we were being
watched. Both Pete and I were chess grandmasters. He was the current champ and I was the reigning
champ prior for almost a decade before I retired. We played each other with a consummate passion.
Wed started a game before the readings on the meter spiked and sounded the klaxon in the underground
facility. At the very least we had averted the possibility of the experiment breaching the compound.
But all I could think about was that old Pete and I would never get the chance to finish our game. My body
shuddered violently as the room started spinning again. It was extremely painful. I literally felt my soul

being ripped out of my body. I had to laugh at the thought. My last game of chess...I think I would have
won. As the room spun I could see that someone was sitting in front of the chessboard at the far corner of
the room. I smiled at the thought before I blacked out.
Thats when it spoke to me.

#
So let me see if Ive got this right, irregardless of the fact that we as individuals are capable of generating
our own individual universe you're saying that our natural state is as pure energy propelled and made
cohesive by the existence of the electromagnetic spectrum and regulated through space-time with
tachyons. And that spectrum is constantly affected by our need to choose between good and evil. I said.
The Universe mumbled to itself for a second. It seemed to do that quite a bit since Id gotten here,
wherever here was. And then it said flatly.
Irregardless is not a word.
To which I replied "What?!?!"
It is a word. It's clearly listed in Merriam-Webster's 126th Edition and on its online galactic site. I
retorted.
Then I realized what or rather who I was talking to, but I felt as if I didnt have much of a choice,
all things considered. I mean I was talking to God for all intents and purposes. This was The God,
not some manmade fallacy of Zeus on a throne looking down at us and judging our every move,
like a piece in a chess game. At least I assumed that the disembodied voice that saturated the
emptiness I found myself in was the Almighty. But I had my doubts.
You should use regardless instead. Otherwise you'll look like a complete idiot. And to answer
your other question the answer is 'Yes'. It said.
"It was a statement, I was making a point!" I exclaimed.
Ill have you know that besides being a member of Mensa Prime Elite and a 12th level intellect...
You would do that; try to save face by hiding behind some kind of intellectual bullshit. Jesus
Christ, humans! It swore.
Although, I am not sure if the Creator as it were could be accused of such an act.
"It was a statement" I almost pleaded.

And yes it was right I had to save face somehow. I mean I was talking to God after all. And as one
of three 12th level intellects to ever have existed in the known galaxy I couldn't let it show me up.
I created you all the same, at the very core you are all the same; one bread one body. It
continued.
But I have my doubts about you humans.
The concepts of good and evil are only partial equations necessary to activate the God machine.
It stated.
The god machine...? I was lost but it made me wonder if I was really dead or just...
No youre not crazy and death does not exist nor does life! It exclaimed.
They are only variables in a greater equation; like good and evil. Think of the two concepts like
opposing magnetic forces. The more good an individual does the closer he is drawn to the
Universe, and conversely the more evil then the opposite is true.
It paused silent for a moment.
But in the end the redundancy variable of belief is all that matters. Every belief system whether
true or not was established to strengthen belief so that an individuals belief system becomes the
catalyst to the x-factor of faith.
But you humans are always quick to displace responsibility. So unlike the Martians, now there is
a species worthy of creation!
It began to ramble.
When you say you all do you mean all humans? I asked fearfully.
Yes. And no! All humans yes but not just humans. Everything... It quipped. It sounded annoyed
like I had interrupted it from watching the Yankees.
"Does that mean that anything in the Universe can create its own reality?" I asked.
"Yes...yes. Jeez...could you come back later I was actually just watching the 68 Yankees; its a
wonder they didnt make it to the World Series that year. At least in your temporal plane they
didnt.
You mean any and everything? I said trying to keep it focused on one subject.
You humans are so very annoying I see why the dominate species on Earth decided to leave. It
said.

So, if thats true, how do you explain death? I pondered openly.

You humans never did listen very well; or anything else for that matter. Maybe I should have
given you all five ears like I did with the Verillians. Thank goodness I DVRd the entire season. It
quipped again.
I heard a click somewhere in the distance like a remote was turning something off.
You are all energy that is poured into a container that container grows and when it is deteriorated
and becomes non-functional or useless you, the real you is poured out into another container. All
of you stem from the same. It huffed.
This energy you speak of where is the source of it all?
The source? it seemed to be turning the word over in its mind.
All things come from the... Word. The sea of creation is an infinite energy of birth, death and rebirth. As in the beginning there was the Word and the Word was God and was with God. We are
the Word.
Really? I asked.
Well thats what it said on the package for the last upgrade. It replied.
But it is a rare occurrence for one of you to come here.
Where is here? I asked.
That is a stupid question for a 12th level intellect. It was your experiment that placed you here.
You tell me. It said.
I was at a complete loss so I tried another question.
How many have gotten this far? I asked.
"Including you?" The universe paused, "Three."
You mean to tell me out of the billions possibly trillions of beings that exist that only three have
made it this far.
"I definitely have to give them more ears and a longer attention span when I make the next batch.
This is (ADD) thing is getting out of hand." The universe thought out loud to itself.
"I heard that" I said ruefully.

I could feel the thought as the universe considered actually telling me the number of inhabitants it
sustained. It decided against it since there wasn't enough time.
So instead it said.
"Yes..."
But...the machine is due for a maintenance check...and the machine did choose you...but... It
thought silently.
But what...what is it? I asked.
Lets see...how are you with chess...? Only grand master level...ohh...this is not good...
What? I asked distraught.
"Dont worry about it. It would be too far beyond your comprehension."
Beyond my comprehension... I thought it an insult.
Why yes. The maintenance of the machine itself is not too difficult a task even for a 12th level
intellect. But there are the emotional-temporal variances to consider. Those alone are enough to
make the brain of a 21st level intellect implode. And you havent even accessed the temporal
levels of chess. And I wouldnt expect you to...I mean youre not even a 3rd level Grand Master.
What are you talking about? I was furious.
And your species is still so very young. But all things considered you are still here. This in itself is
a very odd occurrence indeed.
You humans are insufferable and not extremely smart even the three of you that are beyond
super-genius level.
There was that one 24th level intellect though. But she disappeared in the continuum sometime
ago. Excellent chess player she was, but youre so unlike her.
It was rambling again.
Please understand that what your species considers genius is considered basic lower level
intelligence by most other species in the multiversal continuum including most form of plankton. It
continued.
It complimented me with another insult to my intelligence.
Jesus, I wish that I could punch you in the face! I blurted, Id had enough.

Really! The universe exclaimed. And just how do you intend to accomplish such a task?
Goddamn it!! I thought, with frustration.
You know for a scientist with a 12th level intellect youre pretty stupid...and with such a foul
mouth. How do you expect to beat me with moves like that?
Youre not even looking at the board. Mensa my ass... It said.
Just then, from the corner of my eye, I saw an old man appear in the distance. He was crouched
over one of those old outdoor concrete chess tables that were all over Washington Square Park
when I was a kid. The man looked at me as if he were looking at the air then returned to his
game.
I heard the universe whisper to me in the back of my head.
How about a quick game of chess instead...
#
I miss my wife. She would have known how to handle this situation. She was always so good at chess;
shed beaten me more times than I would like to admit. The thought of her brought up so many memories
and emotions. She was beautiful in every way but I could never stand to be around her too long. She told
me had a thing for pasty faced overweight geniuses.
The universe is beautiful in that way, pairing up someone like her with someone like me. And I resented
her for it; for being good to me and for loving me unconditionally. She said that I was still a creature and if
she stayed she would become one too.
So she left.
She told me that I had displaced her in a way that I couldnt fully comprehend until I understood the truth
of self-realization that could only be birthed from loss. She called it The Theory of Not, of not knowing
who and what we really are. The awakening that comes from losing the person you think you are.
The pain of loving someone can be a horrible thing to endure. But it was all I could do as her phantom
saturated my memories...random temporal equations first filling then pushing themselves to the forefront
of my mind. It created a familiar yet unique hum of memory that I was not ready to let go of. I do not know
how long I was lost in self pity and revelation. It could have been a moment or an eternity. It was both and
neither at the same time.
As the old man hunched over the chessboard he moved another piece, the machine sputtered a brief
breath of life and I poured out of temporal space again. I instinctively thought Rook to D7. The old man
sat up erect; shocked. It was then that I felt the universe smile. A vast all encompassing feeling. Not what

you would expect not heavy not even light just complete. It was effervescent. Yes it was, effervescently
perfect.
#
Temporal Chess is like a relationship in many ways. You start to give up pieces of yourself to create and
maintain a certain level of control. You give up what you believe are small insignificant pieces of your soul
at first. These pawns are put in place to justify your actions in order to continue the game.
You begin to give up little pieces of yourself for the sake of a loved one to keep the peace in a relationship
that has become a prison; to just get by, until one day you dont even recognize yourself. At least thats
what I thought. But love doesnt work that way, the universe doesnt work that way; like everything else in
the universe its all about balance and not letting go of one thing in order to maintain control.
Real love is honest and unselfish because it is synchronous. Like the universe it does not take without
giving back to the source of its existence. I could smell her in my memories the faint yet potent mixture of
sea salt and perfume. The scent of her skin permeated everything she touched. I still remembered the
spicy electricity that clung to my lips every time we kissed.
I had been uncompromising my entire life hoping to push myself beyond emotions. I felt such things
would only burden me. But I was always happiest when I was with my wife or when I was playing chess
with Pete.
They are both dead now. But the old man had said that we dont die. Like time we just shift in and
out of different states of being.

#
I phased out of the memory of my past, or was it just the past. It was all new to me, not so much the
concept of temporal surfing. That was simple to understand but the actual execution of the theory was a
bit much for my brain to grasp in the beginning.

In the beginning there was the Word and the Word was God.

The universe did not care it simply waited for me to phase back into our conversation. And there he was; I
could not fully comprehend what I was seeing. It was as if I was looking at person that did not look old but
felt ancient; timeless. He seemed to be constantly phasing in and out of reality, wherever and whenever
that was, surfing through space-time. And I knew somehow in the back of my mind that if I were to look
directly at it, I mean him that there was a good chance that he would disappear; possibly forever. The

thought of it filled me with an untainted fear not unlike that of a young child afraid of what may lay beneath
his bed after the lights are turned off and the darkness has taken dominion.
Besides he reminded me of holos Id seen on my childhood edu-vids of a twentieth century writer by the
name of Hemmingway. The first thing I asked when I regained my composure was:
"How was I to know this whole thing about choosing between good and evil wasn't a fallacy?
I mean any sane minded person would assume that the whole thing was a total fabrication. You
act like we knew. How are we supposed to know the mind of God?" I said.
I was trying to defend my position that humans were not arrogant, selfish idiots by nature, but were...well,
just human. The old man wasn't buying it.
You mean besides dreams, inspiration, the belief mechanism and the derivative faith value, fractals.
Oh...and the redundancy value of free will. I even left three manuals with specific detailed instructions.
He ranted.
It was obvious the old man had a thing about his instructions being followed to the letter.
Who knew!
Really? I said intrigued. Dont tell me you mean that contrived piece of literary nonsense called the
Bible. I retorted disrespectfully; bad move.
Dont you dare blaspheme! he scorned. Then, for a split second, I felt the true weight of the universe in
me. My atoms split and reformed a billion times in less than a second.
My stomach heaved as bile filled with stardust burned up my throat. I tasted a million dying suns as I
regurgitated a cosmos. It was not a good feeling. I felt the old man smile at having taught me the lesson.
Now where was I...oh yes... he continued.
I sent the Koran, the Torah, and yes, the Bible and not that abridged King James, Jimmy Baker
nonsense either. I sent you all mood rings and CHESS for Christ's sake!!
Mood rings? I mumbled, wiping crud from the side of my mouth.
I even sent messengers Jesus, Mohammed, Yoda, Oprah and that kid from the Facts of Life. It wasnt
just a sitcom you know. The kid wore a mood ring almost every episode. He said frantically.
Mood rings? I mumbled again at a loss for words.
Im getting to old for this shit! he had a thing for swearing, too; I was sure of it.

It's simple technology that records changes in a person's electromagnetic field. It's accurate by a
variance factor of .007%. He was ranting again.
Mood rings?!??! I was still puzzled and trying to get past it all.
But those things never work right. They're always changing color every two seconds. Or they just
remain a static blue. I stated feeling like the victim of some esoteric bamboozle.
Humans!!! he exclaimed in disgust.
You all were never able to see past your own wants. So you are never able to see what
you truly need even when its right in front of you. He said with a hard tone of disappointment.
Although he didnt move I got the strong feeling he was looking at me with a finger pointed in
gesticulation.
It soon became an abject lesson in disbelief on my part trying to swallow the fact that God does indeed
exist---and he's an asshole. I had long ago postulated that God was an amalgamation of various human
myth, legend, rhetoric and conspiracy. But what stood before me was the totality of every doubt imbued to
me from Sunday school about the existence of the almighty holy creator. Did I mention he seemed to be
going senile? Yeah God really is an old man, metaphorically speaking anyway. No wonder no one was
ever able to understand the mind of God.
I was tired of dealing with voices. So I left the old man to his own devices and followed the scent of
perfume and sea salt. I felt the God machine warm at my back as I phased out of space-time.
#
She moved with a subtle temperance...her skin tasting of sea salt and spice.
One bread one body! The Universe, the old man, had spoken and said One Bread One Body. He said
that in the beginning we all stemmed from the same race and because of this no one race could ever be
greater than another. It was a common pattern used throughout the spectrum of creation when inventing a
species. He would generate one template and then let that template loose giving the species autonomy at
some point and then based on the species and the environments they were placed in some members of
the species would decide to adapt to the environment and others would either move on or die off.
There I was speaking to God about Darwinism. It was mind blowing to find out that God
actually favored natural selection.
"How else am I supposed to keep track of everything? After the original control panel on the God Machine
was destroyed it was all I could do to hold the fabric of space-time together. He proclaimed.
The natural entropic progression of the Universe as we know it has been fast tracked...but what
am I to do. Only thirty-seven of the sixty-four dials on the control panel are active at a time.

And its so hard to find a decent tech AI these days. The old man trailed off.
But why dont you just activate them all at once. I mean you are God arent you? I was a bit confused at
this point.
God as you know it is an inter-dimensional algorithm perpetuated through the endless multi-verse. The
program taps into and monitors the electromagnetic spectrum of each. Each individual multi-verse
spectrum is regulated before being filtered through the God Machine and spit back out the other end;
keeping cohesion throughout all space-time.
So the machine is...God? I asked.
No you idiot! It's a tool like any other program. That reminds me I have to get the latest upgrade. I was
thinking of expanding a few sections of the macro-verse on Tilliage; maybe add a few more floating spiral
beaches." The old man said.
Then what are you? I asked.
Im tired and I need a vacation. He said. He mumbled something poignant as he walked out of
existence, lost.
#
She moved with a subtle temperance...her eyes full of love and innocence...
She stood timeless. She haunted my dreams and became my only passion...my obsession. And for the
first time I was happy...
Time shifted.
I was back again but the old man still had not returned. And for a moment I felt that he never would.
This life has taught me that honesty and truth are not synonymous. The former is usually a person's
attempt to either avoid confronting something either known or assumed or an attempt to rectify a past
wrong by relieving the soul. But very rarely is honesty utilized for the only true purpose for which it is
intended which is to openly connect with another being without falsehood or pretense. And the latter is an
illusion at best and an aberration of all that is pure and unique. At worst, it is a tossup between the things
we think we want to know, the things we actually need to know and the things we chose to accept. And
most of the time the truth is neither real nor imagined but instead what we have chosen to accept as
fact. He said just before he left.
He was starting to annoy me. But he had a point about the truth. And the truth...my truth was that I missed
my wife. I was tired and angry at being left behind. And I felt terribly alone. And the last thing I wanted to
do was deal with some delusion brought on by temporal sickness. It was bad enough that Pete was dead.
I didnt want to deal with any new revelations about God and the afterlife. If I was dead...then let me be...

Dead...
She smelled of perfume and sea salt. I felt the machine hum at my memory.
Recall +-27 (VNV)* 3.1466
I was caught in a temporal loop. I could recall and access the memories of the day we met on the
beach.
I...
Let go and let God!
Pete was always saying stupid things like that. Id always thought that as the only other 12th level
intellect in the known galaxy that saying such thing was pretty stupid. But letting go isnt so easy
once youve actually had a one-on-one with the All-Mighty. But God is something that we humans
created, right?!?! Something non-existent that we put a name to so we wouldn't be afraid of
ourselves in the dark. Isn't it? Is that not the truth?
I felt the Universe, the old man, looking not at me but into me with a sternness that was of a quality not
unlike that of a parents scolding eye. I could hear him whispering to me in algorithmic patterns.
Genius, true genius is not arrogant. It is when your heart, mind and soul are connected to the universe in
unison. Hubris is the belief that you where the one that made the connection. We are merely vessels born
of, to and from the creator any action greater than ourselves is not our own. Any reality we create out of
selfishness, greed and self-indulgence is only an illusion built upon quicksand with no real foundation or
source. A reality stemming only from petty wants rather than the singular need shared by everyone and
everything is an abomination. His voice was now a distant hum.
My wife told me once that We all yearn to stay connected even if we constantly pretend that we
do not.
That was when I felt the old man smile at me again.
Maybe youre not so stupid after all. He beamed.
#
I was worried...
Worrying does nothing for the soul. It immobilizes the spirit, seizes the consciousness and renders the
heart timid. Although like all emotions it is not without its place worrying without warrant is at many times
a useless undertaking.

I found myself wishing that the old man would just leave me to my own thoughts. As if by fate the flow of
information immediately stopped. Once I was able to think I found that the emotional variances were just
a catalyst to access the mathematical sequences that are locked away in our DNA. The alignment of each
emotion created a specific harmonic within the human body. Every emotion had a definitive harmonic
signature that helped to access these sequences. I soon found that this was true not just for human but
for all things in existence. The patterns often overlapped each other. On a quantum level we were all the
same.
One Bread One Body...
I looked up from the machine, as eons flew past me. The old man had returned and was sitting in the
corner at the chess table. Hed moved several pieces. But I could feel him hesitate on his next move. I
told him knight to King 7. He looked up and waived his appreciation having noticed the flaw. The
thrumming at the back of my brain that started when each harmonic sequence was activated creating
data feed into the machine had ceased. For the first time since Id gotten here my head was clear. It was
an odd feeling, again for the first time. It was not heavy not even light just effervescent...and complete.
I am...the nexus of here and now.
The voice of the Universe had risen and dissipated like the birth and death of a billion species throughout
the eons. I faintly heard the God Machine sputter as it ingested and regurgitated the electromagnetic
spectrums of the multi-verse.
My eyes now sanguine and ancient were able to scan through the tapestry of space-time.
Millennia flew by in an instant. Thats when I saw her.
My wife...
I was reliving the first time wed ever met on the beach on Mars in the year 2112. Her skin smelled of sea
salt and perfume. I missed running my fingers through her raven black rizos as they spiraled like strands
of DNA. Her memory infected my mind. She moved with a subtle temperance. This is how her memory
infected my mind; permeating thoughts of now and then.
I want the freedom to choose the person I love and to have the feeling be my own. The weightlessness
you feel from falling. To have that someone crash into me like the awareness of new found knowledge. I
want to love freely because God loves with indiscriminance. This is what she said to me then, now and
forever.
I saw her and my mind was infected.
I was caught in a temporal loop again. But I did not care anymore. She wanted to show me the new chess
set shed gotten me and thats all I cared about. She taught me how to operate the control panel on the
God Machine through accessing the mathematical sequences in our DNA through variables in our
emotions. We accessed these memories playing chess. If you think about it chess was the perfect tool.
Some grandmasters had theorized that by playing chess a handful of players were able to see the future

even after they were done playing. They all said that true mastery of chess was gained not by
concentrating so much as relaxing and letting go and just letting the game move you. After awhile these
players developed permanent precognition. But what they were really doing was accessing universal
knowledge. The memories of all creation were being tapped into through the synchronization of the
harmonic variances in their DNA by playing chess. They found true peace by foregoing everything they
thought they knew.
That's when I saw her.
My wife was not earth born. She was from Mars and the best grandmaster Id ever seen.
This is how her memory has infected my mind. I felt the old man staring at me again.
Presence...ad infinitum 360
It was an odd feeling not heavy not even light...it was effervescent. All I felt was...
Peace...
Resend 314.666...
All any of us really want is to exist freely.
Its all that matter(s)...
Anti-matter...Correlation 0,
Temporal Redundancy 360...continuum access denied...
She always said that the truth of the world lay within our ability to recall our memories. That our brains
held the capacity to recall instances in time that are not only, based on our own memories. But the past,
present and future memories of ALL things.
Recall 8, Infinity +-7...
She said that since knowledge was universal it was not learned only accessed.
Truth factor positive...
Causality +8...
As if it was kept in a constant reservoir in space-time and all we need do was let it out.
Let go and let God!

Presence -0, VNV +27, Memory accessed...

I remembered the poem Id written.
Desiderium...
The words expressed on that thin sheet of paper were born from the desperation that can only be
found in the longing for someone or something that youve lost.
Effect +7... Ad Hoc continuum accessed...
And since knowledge was only accessed it could never really be lost only forgotten and stored
away to be re-accessed at a later time.
Variance 3.1466...
I had never known that she read the letter, I'd written her after her death. How such a thing was
possible did not matter as much as the fact. People are silly, harmful wounded, selfish creatures.
But sometimes people are that way. And in the moment I realized it I wrote of my sorrow...of my
loss:
"My heart ignites as I reach for your rizos. They belay a cold, uncommon temperament revealing a
warmth, a gentleness that is so strangely unfamiliar that I can barely accept it as my own. They are
timeless in my mind's eye like strands of DNA creating life where there was none."
Those words were the truest most painful and unselfish thing Id ever written.
Recall -8...Infinity Spectrum accessed...
Knight to King 7
She thought that it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever done for her.
I couldnt imagine such a thing possible from any 12th level intellect much less myself. Feelings
are undeniable when love is so pure and unselfish...it could only be truth. True love is not
reciprocal its synchronous, because it does not take without giving back to the source of that
love.
Causality Effect +3...Ad Hoc Reality Spectrum accessed...
The temporal shifts left a quantum residue caused by accessing the knowledge of creation. In my
mind time was fractured but whole.
Resend...Error...

Infinity Spectrum access denied...

The fractured time theory Pete and I came up with was true. We were just wrong about just how
wide spread it really was. Every creature that ever existed and that would ever come into being
was creating divisions constantly reflected in reality. The insanity of it all is why the machine
worked so well. As the old man sauntered off to parts unknown I couldnt help but think that
maybe sanity was overrated.

I think I now understand the mathematical correlation of human emotions. The universe kept
referring to instances in my past and what were alternate futures; the roads not taken so to speak.
My wife kept telling me the importance of emotions and the truism of mathematics. She always told me
about the correlations but I never listened.
"Every human has the potential for self awareness with little to no knowledge of the process of extraction
from the source; save through our emotions."
She never got around to showing me the algorithms but I think I got it. If I'm right it's like an equation
creating speech through the light.
By igniting the right correlation of emotions centering us to become conduits for the both the external
Universe around us and internal Universe within us by aligning each we accept that which is, creating a
genetic harmonic variance within our DNA that can allow us to see the face of God. She called it "faith".
One Bread One Body.
If we are all God and God is part of each us as an infinite universal collective, then that would explain
karma, wouldn't it? I mean if we look at God or the Universe as a singular collective then when one of us
does something wrong, something really wrong karma could be God's way of healing itself and restoring
order.
I could see Pete at the far end of the room preparing the test run. I let the program run its course without
any outside interference. The old man didnt seem to mind. He said something about going to see a
regent by the name of Alastair whom hed sent to handle a level 15 genius who discovered how to create
wormholes in her washer-dryer. Gehrig was her name. He said he was finally going to go on vacation and
visit the spiraling beaches on Tilliage maybe check out the 1981 Yankees. He said hed be back soon but
I didnt care. I felt myself slipping away. I hadnt even finished the algorithms. I smiled at the thought.
Time looped one more time.

God please let this work.

#

I had returned a few minutes before the experiment went to hell. I could see the reflection of my past self
talking to Peter. It was strange feeling to see myself outside of my own skin.
You mean to tell me that no one had ever postulated or ever even made the connection that a galaxy
ANY galaxy not only looks but acts like an atom?!?! Pete exclaimed. He had a habit of sounding like he
was whining when he got excited.
"A Solar System." I retorted
"Hunh?!?!" he whined. Pete always whined when he read articles in the Quantum Physics journal that
sounded like nonsense.
"The article says its a solar system that acts like an atom actually the Planets within a solar system act
like atoms while the system itself is representative of a molecule. A galaxy is more like a giant neurotransmitter with all kinds of stuff going on centered on a nucleus."
And you based our experiment on this? he said flatly.
No not really! But it got me thinking that the thought process of the human brain would probably be a
better comparison. When I mapped the neuro-chemical events of an individuals mind I found that they
were very similar to informational hubs in everything from the internet and planetary communications to
mapping the quadrants of a galaxy. I heard my reflection say.
Whose brain did you use as an exemplar? Pete asked.
My reflection moved to the center of the room and was inspecting the containment unit for the tachyons
as Pete entered a sequence of algorithms to compensate for any output variance in the remaining
containment chambers.
Id been using both of our minds as base models. But the only time we seemed to be in synch was when
we were playing chess; stimulus of the gods. My past self said.
Pete smiled at the thought.
I looked over at the chessboard as Pete had moved his knight to D5.
"What about Einstein's theory and Swanzels Law of Quantum Polarized Variance" Pete was
always one to question the obvious.

I wonder how long he had been jaunting into the future.

"All still truisms." I heard myself say. "The only difference is that electro-magnetism binds everything."
"Everything?" Pete's whining increased.
"Thats right everything, from our thoughts to physical attractions to the opposite sex, which is based on
an EM specific tag, to our souls in our bodies! Even our attraction to specific foods is regulated and based
on a predisposed EM pattern specific to our genetic make-up.
So yes EVERYTHING!" My reflection stated.
"When a person dies there is a spike of energy this spike represents a shift in the EM spectrum.
The same is true when something is born only the spike is in the opposite direction creating an
equilibrium maintaining balance on a cosmic scale. This shift in energy affects the EM field of the
planet and that in turn affects the fields of the surrounding bodies, which affects the solar system
as a whole through solar winds and so on. That's my theory at least." I looked a little exhausted
after my schpiel. I smiled at the thought.
I saw my past self look in my direction when I did.
There must be an error somewhere." Pete inquired.
"Have you ever seen what happens to an atom when it splits in two?" I heard myself ask him.
He looked at me in a daze.
Are you kidding me? he asked. We work in a giant rail gun and splice atoms for living. Of course I
have.
"I dont mean the read outs and statistical data. I mean at the moment of impact have you ever seen what
happens every time? Believe me when I say it is truly a work of God and proof of universal good!"
I smiled.
"You mean like Hiroshima or Nagasaki?" he asked angrily. Pete besides being my best friend, Peter
Kimura, was also Japanese.
"No the A-Bomb was a man made bastardization of the truth of the universe. Let me show you the truth."
I felt time slipping away from beneath my feet as I moved a few pieces on the chessboard and opened the
door to the machine. Ill never forget the look on Petes face when he saw the both of us as we said.
"Please, just step this way."

#
My wife had augured the possible futures of the multi-verse as they played out on a chessboard. She was
recruited by a regent to be a replacement AI for the God Machine. This is how she has infected my mind.
One temporal fracture at a time. She infected me with memories of our love. I phased out of another
temporal loop. At least Pete was safe now. I never understood the human ability to love. I had always
thought it to be nothing more than a combination of chemical reactions that had nothing to do with free
will. I believed it to be more associated with a physical sense of lust as the catalyst for the human need to
procreate.
Karma Variance 360...
I was wrong.
#
Id searched for the missing strain in connection to the harmonic variance that dictates the awaking of our
inner self. The thing that would lead me to witness the face of God, I cannot understand why I can no
longer hear the hum of the algorithmic patterns. I looked for the old man the throughout the eons once I
was able to get the God Machine online again. I had to stop looking so I could find myself.
Resend 8...Infinity Spectrum re-accessed...
Causality Spectrum re-connected...
Multiple Ad Hoc Realities confirmed...
#
In the beginning I simply ignored the equations as they bounced around in my head. I was to full of myself
to recognize it as anything but noise in the back of my brain. I foolishly ignored epiphany when she came.
I wonder if the universe punishes people for such hubris. The answer was in our memories. My memories
that led to the equations...her memories were where the answers lay.

Redundancy +1, Objective +3, Catalyst = Passion3 + 3.1466(2) = VNV

Causality +8, Infinity -7, Redundancy +9, Infinity -7, Causality -8, Redundancy +-10, Causality 1
To find an end to the madness caused by my constant temporal surfing I was forced to make my next
move. I
accessed the control panel on the God machine and entered my next equation...a Luzhin Defense. The
old man

did say he loved chess. Every equation ever formulated led back to the God machine via non-linear
electro-magnetic pathways carved around the game of chess. Cosmic chess---the basic rules are the
same.
Causality 7...
End Chaos...Ad Infinitum, VNV+32
I finally understood the reason for it all, to initiate, Objective 8, to create, Effect +3...
Pause calculation, Resend 0, to love and live freely in the nothingness that is, was and will be.
Presence 360, Recall 0, Temporal Flux stabilized, Infinity 7.
All 64 dials on the control tablet flashed brilliant faded neon as my fingers became a blur across the fabric
of
space-time. With it I controlled past, present and future possibilities. I found that initiating the derivative
faith
value to be easier than I.d thought.
It was not separate, it was never separate; instead we are all one. One bread, One body, Variance
3.1466(2)3,
it is all found both without and within one.s self. I know I will see you again...
My love...lies within, the pain of...
Loss +6, I can replay the memories now, Recall TG -31, VNV +27...
I can see...her hair is a dark raven black, her rizos spiraling like columns of DNA. Her perfect smile born
from
the happiness of knowing, exposing a slightly crooked tooth; her skin, triquena, smelling of sea salt and
perfume.
I hear her words clear and radiant.
.If the Word is God and we are his words. Then all we need to do is speak our way into creation.
Truth Factor 8, Positive...Ad Hoc Infinitium...

Reality +-7, Infinite 9...As she passes in the temporal stream before me, all I can see is that she loves
me...
Redundancy -+7, and it gives me faith...Reprieve 7. God loves with indiscriminance.
I felt myself smile for the first and the last time.
Checkmate.