byJoshuaMacAran

What Is It?

DungeonsandDragons(henceforthD&D)isacooperativeimaginationgame,generallybestplayedwith48people.
Oneplayerservesasthefacilitatorandmoderator,orDungeonMaster(henceforthDM).Thisroleinvolvesplanning
outtheworldandcontrollingthewordsandactionsofthevariousinhabitantsoftheworld.Theplayersareeach
responsibleforthewordsandactionsofonecharacter.Thegamegenerallyassumesalargedegreeofcooperation
amongsttheplayersandaswordsandsorcerytheme,althoughvariationiscommon.IfD&Dwerecomparedtoa
computergame,theDMislikethecomputersysteminwhichtheplayersplay,andeachplayerislikeonehuman
playingthegame.Unlikeacomputergame,thereisnohardcodedinabilitytoclimbwalls,breakthings,usethe
environmentasaweapon,orchangethemindsofvariouscharactersintheworldthroughforce,deception,or
persuasion.

Who Is It Good For?

D&Disapowerfultoolforpracticingthemechanismsofsociallife.Toplaythegameastherulesarewritten,itis
importanttogatherpeoplewhoarespeakingandinteractingwithothers,abletodobasicmath(addingnumbersupto
25),andwhoenjoystorytellingandimagination.Itisparticularlypowerfulforthosewhohaveabasicunderstandingof
relationshipwebsandarereadytodeepentheirexploration,andalsoprovidesastrongavenueforthosewhoalready
understandthebasicsoffriendshipandarereadytoexperiencealongtermfriendship.Therulescanbeeasily
modifiedtoaccountfordifferencesinlingualandanalyticaldevelopment.Ultimately,socialcompatibilityisthemost
importantfactoringatheringagroupitisperfectlyacceptabletoignoreanyandallrulesinfavorofagoodstory,but
notallplayersareabletoenjoythiskindofgaming.

Inotherwords,imaginationgamesaregenerallyaverystrongpracticeforanyonewhodesiressociallearning.Ifthe
mechanicalaspectsofD&Dareintimidatingtoyouoryourchildren/students,donthesitatetothrowallthatoutthe
windowandcreateaworldtogether.

Why D&D?

AbetterquestionmightbeWhypracticesocialbehavior?.Ifyourereadingthisarticle,chancesarethatsomeonein
yourlifeisstrugglingtofindasmuchconnectionandcommunityastheywantorneedtobehappy,healthy,and
fulfilled.Manyofmystudentsarebothhungryforhumanconnectionandunabletomakeithappenbythemselvesat
thispointintheirlives.

Makingfriendscanbeaverycomplexprocessinvolving,butnotlimitedto:

Understandingyourowninterests
Travellingoutsideyourhousetopursuethoseinterests
Noticingthatothersarealsointerestedinsimilarthings
Talkingtonewpeople
Listeningtonewpeople
Voicingyourdesiretospendtimewithanewpersonoutsideoftheinstanceinwhichyoumetthem
Askingforcontactinformation
Subsequentlycontactingthatperson
Possessingmoney,resources,andaccesstotransit
Andofcoursemovingthroughanxietyinallofthesesteps.

Itsworthnotingherethatwehaventlistedanyofthefactorsyoucantcontrol,suchastheotherpersonssocialskill
levels,emotionalstate,andavailablefreetime.Evenskilledsocialbeingssometimesstruggletofindfriends,andeven
compatiblepersonsmeetingunderfavorableconditionsdonotalwaysbecomefriends.

Itismyexperiencethatthesinglebestwaytomakefriendsistospendlotsoftimewiththesamepersonoverthe
courseofalongperiodoftime.Aspeoplespendmoretimewithoneanother,anxietyrecedes,andtrueselvesbegin
topeekoutfrombeneaththeshell.

Evenafterallthat,friendsdonotalwaysstayfriends.Thisisespeciallycommonwithpeoplewhostruggleto
communicatetheirinnerprocessesand/orstrugglewithaveryinflexibleperspectiveonwhatkindofbehavioris
acceptable.

Thus,ourchallengeassocialeducatorsistocreateavenuewhereourstudentsspendlotsoftimetogetherovera
longperiod,andarewillingtocontinuecomingbackevenwhenthereisdiscomfortwithanothermemberofthegroup.
Itisourchallengetofostercommunicationandshepherdourflocktowardresolution.

D&Disonewaytocreatethisvenue.Itscloseenoughtoavideogametobeunusuallyengagingtomanypeoplewho
wouldotherwiseprefertobeplayingalone.Alloftheelementsoffriendshiparepresentinawaythatisoftenlesstrue
whileplayingvideogames.Thegameisbydesignaslowerpaceasinglecombatencountermaytakeanhour,while
anadventureoftentakesayearortwoofweeklyplaytocomplete.

5 Strong Practices Promoted by D&D

Practice #1: Talking and Listening
Creatingastorybetween3,4,oreven5peopleischallenging.Someofmystudentslovetotalkandforgettolisten
othersstruggletofindspacetospeak.AstheDMIcreatespacetoencouragethequietonestoexpressthemselves.
IndoingsoIbringtheattentiontothedesireofanothertospeak.Ialsomodelpowerfulandrespectfulspeechand
bodyposture.

Practice #2: A Complex Web of Relationships

Thegameitselfisacomplexrelationshipofrules,tables,andnumbers.Weusethoserulesasagroup,alongwitha
healthydoseofrandomgeneration,totellastoryuniquelyourown.Asthestorygrows,thewebofrelationships
betweenthecharactersandtheworldtheyaretraversinggrowsandthecomplexitymultiplies.Thereisalsoa
metarelationshipbetweentheplayersofthegame.Therelationshipbetweentheplayerssometimesdiffersfromthe
relationshipbetweentheircharacters.Asagroupwepracticeobservingcauseandeffect,andanalyzingthegrowthof
relationshipsbetweenvariousworldelements.

Practice #3: Facing Failure

AstheDM,Iputchallengesintothegame.Thecharacterscanapproachtheminanywaytheylike,andevery
challengehasalimitlessnumberofpossibleresponses.Becauseweuserandomnesstodeterminesuccessand
failure,sometimesthecharacterswillfailorbeoverwhelmed.Thisisagoodvenuetofacetemporaryfailurebecause
thestorymoveson,thecharactersdontdie,andtheyeventuallywillsucceedaslongastheplayersmaintaininterest.
PlayingD&Dteachesaboutthecycleofeffortandchallengewhilerevealingtherelationshipbetweensuccessand
failure.

Practice #4: Being Strong and Growing

Iseeinsomanyofmystudentsthattheyhavegrownaccustomedtopowerlessnessthroughbeingtoldwheretogo
andnottogo,whattodoandnottodo,whotobeandnottobe.D&Dcreatesaspacewhereeachindividualcan
reachfortheirownpowerandpracticeenactingtheirwillupontheworld.Eachplayeriscalledupontospeakinthe
voiceofadifferentperson,apersonwhoisfightingmonstersandsavingpeopleanddefyingdeatheveninthemost
direofcircumstances.

ThestructureofD&Disasubtleteacheraboutgrowingyourpersonalpower.Theexperiencepointssystem
determinesthestrengthofagivencharacter.Ascharactersdefeatmonstersandovercomechallenges,theygain
experiencepointsandlevelup.Eachtimetheyleveluptheygrowinability.Thispracticeisametaphorforgrowing
older,wiser,andstrongerinlife,andteachesaboutthecycleoflearningandgrowth.

Practice #5: Being in Relationship

WeveexstablishedthattherelationalstructureofD&Dismanylayered.Astheplayersplaytogetherlonger,they
experiencesuccessandfailure,bothindividuallyandasagroup,andslowlygrowinexperienceandpower.Aftera
fewyearsofplayingtogeherwehaveallgonethroughsharingcreativeandvocalspaceandbumpedupagainstour
strugglesaspeopleplayingtogether.Theimaginativeandmechanicalappealofthegamekeepsusengagedeven
whenwearestrugglingwithourrelationships.

Good Luck!

Educatorsoftenbecomefocusedongettingresultsthroughspecificmethods.Whilethereisvalueinthisapproach,it
ismyobservationandexperiencethatrawpracticeisthemosteffectiveteacherwhenitcomestosocialbehavior.
Somethingscantrulybetaughtanyonewhocanreadandoperateastovecanfryanegg,giveninstructions.Social
behaviorhasnosimplerulebook,andeachofuswillfindourownpath,integratingalltheguidancewechoosetohear
alongtheway.

Ratherthanfocusingontheresult,playingD&Dfocusesonthejourneythroughlife.Someplayersmaymakefriends
withtheirfellowsanddeepentheirsocialpracticeothersmaydecidethatsocialbehaviorisnotvaluabletothemand
choosetospendtheirtimeelsewhere.Myroletodrawoutthatwhichishidden(ie,thepowerful,adventurous,social
self)ratherthantocoercemystudentstochooseonepathortheother.

Ifyouhaveachildwhoisstrugglingwithfriendship,IhighlyrecommendfindingorstartingaD&Dgroup.Itsagreat
waytologinthosesocialpracticehours!ThebasicrulesareavailableforfreeontheWizardsoftheCoastwebsite.

https://dnd.wizards.com/articles/features/basicrules

HappyImagining!

Joshua

Resources:

DragonsLairPlaythroughhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cdg4J9_nes
ThisisnotD&D,butitsveryclosetowhataD&Dactionsequencemightbelikeifyouspeditupandplayeditasa
movie.Forthosewhoarentinterestedinfinnickymathematicsandhundredsofpagesofreading,Ivealwaysthought
thatagreatwaytoplayD&Dwouldbetotellastoryandthengiveyourchildrenachallenge.

Example:Ok,thedragonwakesupjustasyourestealingsomeofhistreasure.WeregoingtogooutsideandIm
goingtochaseyou.Ifyoucanevademeforthreeminutes,thenyouescapethedragonwiththetreasureandgetrich.
IfIcatchyou,thenthedragoncatchesyouandyouonlyescapebyleapingoffacliffanddivingintoariverfarbelow.
Youlosethetreasurebutmanagetosaveyourlife.

Thisapproachismuchmoreappropriateforthosestudentswhoarentreadytoreadormemorizerules,andwho
cravephysicalexperienceandactivity.Anotherfantasticwayofplayingistogocampingandtrampthroughthe
woods,imaginingallkindsofmysticalcreatures.