Life Experiences

HD 489- Reflection on Life Experiences

Cherilyn Helguera
July 3, 2016

Life Experiences

This course was my first class of my first semester at Pacific Oaks College. I was
shocked when Professor Castellano said, We will dig deep into our different stages of
development and remember how various situations impacted you. It was difficult for me
to grasp this concept without thinking solely on negative experiences. I immediately
became panicked and vowed to myself that I would not write or share any private
experiences.
As the course moved forward, I wrote papers on fieldwork experiences, prejudice,
and diversity. I also wrote analysis papers on these reflective topics. It became somewhat
overwhelming remembering these difficult times of my life. I was able to remember
about the positive scenarios, but unfortunately, the negative ones overpowered my
thoughts. I still kept to my word and I did not open personal doors that I bolted closed
years ago. I was comfortable sharing easier topics, such as my fathers alcoholism and
gambling addiction. It was not difficult initially since only my professor was reading
these reflections.
As I reached the final paper, I felt comfortable with discussing a quite personal
topic. I needed Professor Castellanos assistance in creating a topic question. My question
was, How does being molested as a child affect a childs emotional well-being? I had to
relive this time in my life and I did not think that it would be as overwhelming as it was.
As I wrote the paper, I felt sick to my stomach reliving the accounts of the abuse. I could
not understand how almost thirty years later I am still feeling these emotions. Although I
was upset, I felt comfort knowing that only my professor would read it.
I did not take into consideration the syllabus regarding the expectations for each
paper. I was completely overwhelmed with returning to school, work, and writing

Life Experiences

continuous reflective papers that reading all the details of the syllabus was not a priority
during the semester. Since this paper was a part of my portfolio, I had to include it
amongst my other reflections in my presentation. I was concerned about having to share
this personal topic with the other women in my cohort. I was not sure how I would react
retelling this event, as well as how they would perceive me. Once I shared this, I was
surprised at how accepting and loving each one was to me. Writing this paper and sharing
it did more than I ever thought it would. I actually felt a true healing. I felt the release of a
burden I did not believe was still there.
I know that by going through this process it allowed me to reflect on how trauma
can stifle a childs emotional well-being. This made me more sensitive, and gave me the
desire to be a part of all the dynamics that comprise a childs development. I realized how
important a childs family is, and that supporting that structure can make a huge impact
for the child beyond just being in a school environment.