The Ballad of Arabella in Two Tongues!

Written
in English, transduced in Romanian, she lives
forever!
THE BALLAD OF LITTLE RABID ARABELLA
Little Arabella Miller
Drove a yellow Caterpillar.
And she drove it round and round,
Razed her village to the ground.
Arabella did her best,
Her machine did all the rest.
The surviving population
Ground their dentures in frustration,
Seeing what a sorry sight
Was their village left and right.
All said: Arabella Miller,
Youre a nasty little killer.
Arabella kept her cool
And replied: I guess Yet wholl
Ever stop me? Up your matrix!
Youre a bunch of geriatrics
Second-rate you are, and third
And she cutely flipped the bird.
They converged upon the Mayor
And requested him to slay her.
The Lord Mayor got his gun,
But twas easier said than done
Cat was knocked into reverse
And the crowd had to disperse.
Then up spoke the Brigadier:
Got a situation here
Judging by the damage done,
We might need a bigger gun.
My old friend, Admiral Bruiser,
Is a Captain on a cruiser
H.M.S. The Friend Indeed
Bet he has just what we need.
Ill liaise with him a.s.a.p.,
Put an end to all this crap.
Teach the damsel some respect,
Bruiser will, I should expect.
In the meantime, Arabella
Gave the creeps to every fella,
As her yella mean machine
Crept across the grass so green.
Well before the crack of dawn,

Locals prone to contemplate

The iniquity of fate
Put the blame on Arabella,
Urged the Admiral to shell her,
Blow her up, dismember, waste her
(They themselves no longer chased her.)
Yet she managed to escape
And she kept in perfect shape,
Sheltered by her yellow armour
All the bombing couldnt harm her.
She shoved dirt into the bay,
Locked the ship and drove away.
I have done my very best
To eradicate the pest,
Said the Admiral But, cor,
She looks tougher than before
My old friend, the Wing Commander,
Might be just the man to land her.
I will radio the chap
To liaise with me a.s.a.p.
And I bet my sailors ass,
We will terminate the lass.
Wing Commander Frigidaire
Wasnt long in getting there.
To avoid undue delay,
He commenced bombing away,
Hoping hed manipulate her
Into some resulting crater.
Carpet bombing was hed claim
Best adapted to that aim.
(Twas a marvel to inspect
Its precise, moon-like effect.)
Arabella, nonetheless,
Wasnt easy to impress.
Neither did she lose her nerve
She would calmly dodge and swerve,

With amazing intuition,

Till there was no ammunition
Left for valiant Frigidaire
To pursue his mission there
And she would have won the duel,
Had she not run out of fuel

When the locals came to get her,

She was waving her white sweater.

She had ruined every lawn.

BOOOOM! The Admiral attacked
Thus begins the final act
Of this most horrendous thriller
Starring Arabella Miller
The environment was sacked,
Not a thing was left intact.
None of them was apt to quit
Now youve had it, little shit,
Said a member of the crowd,
Icily and not too loud
Further proof they were intent
On a murderous event.

Little Arabella Miller

Sensed their purpose was to kill her,
Didnt wait for them to warn her
She kick-started her Husqvarna,
And the locals, once again,
Broke formation, cussed and ran
BALADA RABIATEI ARABELLA

Arabella lu Glucoz
i-a fcut rost de-un buldozer
i-a luat-o cu el prin sat,
Chitit pe demolat
N-a fost col s nu dea iama
Cu enila i cu lama...
Vai, supravieuitorii,
Cum i mai treceau fiorii
Cnd priveau n jurul lor
La prpdu-ngrozitor.
-Arabella, Arabella, I-au spus ei, mhnii, - acela
A fost dragul nostru sat,
Iar tu ni l-ai demolat.
Ce ne facem noi acum?
Ne-ai lsat ca protii-n drum.
Eti o plag social!
i-ar fi luat-o la poceal...
-Arabella, ia aminte, I-au zis ei scrnind din dinte Punem noi mna pe tine,
F, i n-o s-i fie bine...
Arabella, din cabin,
Le-a rspuns: -M doare-n splin.
Vrei s m intimidai?
Suntei nite sinistrai!
Nu m prindei voi pe mine,

They approached with utmost care,

Eager fingers poised to tear
They ignored the waving token
Not a single word was spoken

-Arabella? Nu se poate, Zise Preedintele,

Dezvelindu-i dintele
ntr-un zmbet echivoc, O vom lichida pe loc!
Trimit Garda Personal
i-o termin c-o rafal,
C-avem arme din import,
Care mic-n front, e mort!
Arabella lu Glucoz
ntre timp schimbase-n proz,
Din manet i pedal,
Poezia ancestral
A ctunului Sciei.
-Ai s-o ciuruim, biei, Ordon, privind cu jale,
eful Grzii Personale.
-Armele la ochi i FOC!
Arabella-ntoarse-n loc
i-o porni ctre flci
-Rupei rndurile, i!
Ordon, fugind din cale,
eful Grzii Personale.
La comanda nainte!,
S-au ntors la Preedinte.
-Ce ne facem, Excelen?
-Declar starea de urgen,
Mama ei de paceaur,
Mi-e c d iama-n natur
De nu lum nici o msur.
Azi d gaur n mediu,
Mine chiar la noi n sediu
Se impune un remediu.
Daia zic eu c nu stric
S-o exterminm de mic.
Cnd e vorba de dezastre,
Intervin Ctile Albastre.
Deja i-am solicitat
S fac ordine-n sat.
Deci ducei-v degrab
Ca s-i ajutai la treab,
Cot la cot s combtei
Fenomenul din Sciei.
Descindei n teritoriu
i luai fata la omoriu,

Nici n vi, nici pe coline,

Nici la es, nici n zvoi
Pun buldozeru pe voi
Dac facei vreo figur.
-Mama ei de paceaur, Zic stenii nciudai, Pi s nu-i vin s-o bai?
Las c-o nvm noi minte...
i s-au dus la Preedinte,
Preedintele Ulise,
Maistru-n jocuri de culise.
-Excelen, s vedei,
Arabella din Sciei,
Satul nostru de-obrie,
Ne-a distrus din temelie
Acareturile toate.
-Mama lor de Cti Albastre,
Stau ca florile n glastre,
Ei i Garda Personal
N-au fcut nici o scofal, Zic stenii strni ciopor,
Cu glas amenintor.
-Mama ei de paachin,
Occidentul e de vin
C-o las s se desfoare
Cu buldozu prin ponoare,
De nu scap nici o floare.
Bietul spaiu mioritic
A ajuns n stadiu critic...
-O, oameni buni, da pn cnd
S-aud materia plngnd?
S-a ridicat un orator,
La rndul su, din rndul lor.
-O, mama mamii ei de fat,
Pe ea acum ori niciodat!
M duc s-mi iau destinu-n mn...
E trdtor cel ce amn!
Vom sta de straj n cmpie,
Cu propria anatomie
O vom opri pe Arabella!
O, pn cnd s umble lela?
Ct va s ne mai cotropeasc
Ea nou vatra strmoasc?
Cnd vede totu-n jur ca-n palm,
Cum ar putea rmne calm
Societatea din Sciei?
O, nu simii, O, nu vedei
Srmanul sat cte ndur?
O, mama ei de paceaur!
Din cauza la o punkist
E azi ntreaga obte trist
i-i sufl nasul n batist...
Nici nu putem iei n strad,

C ne face de fecal
Pe arena mondial...
Arabella demolase
Cu succes hambare, case,
Mai pe scurt, infrastructura,
i-acum ataca natura,
Precum bine intuise
Preedintele Ulise.
Manevrndu-i utilajul,
Se juca cu peisajul,
Se juca de-a uite-l, nu-i
i pe vale i pe grui.
Chiar i cte-o Casc Albastr
Murmura: Parc-i de-a noastr,
Admirnd cu ct talent
Modeleaz-n ambient...
Cum cere datina strbun
i-au dat nval mpreun,
Toi narmai cu furci, cu coase,
Strignd: -Pentru Sciei, la oase!
(Au mai scandat un epitet
Pe care nu voi s-l repet.)
-Luai-v destinu-n mn,
Culcai buldozeru pe-o rn!
Se ndemnau ei reciproc,
Cnd Arabella-ntoarse-n loc
i o porni cu vnt din pup
Spre ei, pornit ca s-i rup.
i i-ar fi rupt, fr-ndoial,
Prini cum erau la-nghesuial
Cci retrgndu-se spontan,
Czuser cu toi morman.
Dar chiar atunci, n mod penibil,
Rmase fr combustibil...
Mulimea repliat zbiar:
-Acuma ne-ai picat n ghear!
Fata, ghicindu-le mnia,
i-a fluturat spre dnii iia
Brodat cu miastre ace,
Iia cea alb-n semn de pace.
Mulimea ns, ca la ar,
I-a replicat: - Te-am spart la nar!
i strns-au cercu-n jurul ei,
Cu ochii scprnd scntei...
-F, i dezafectm maina,
Te fugrim ca pe Nadina,
Ca s te saturi de rscoal
Civilizaia rural
E conceput ca s ie
Din moi-strmoi ntru vecie...
Da vorba lung srcie
Pe ea, Vandam! Pe ea, Ilie!
Ai s-o defenestrm, biei,

C-a apucat deja s-o rad.

Ce ne ramne de fcut?
S ne reintegrm n lut?
O, ce destin umilitor...
Eu, unul, dac-a fi s mor,
Voiesc s mor cu ea de gt!
Voi ti atunci mcar att
C generaii viitoare
Vor fi scpat de sub teroare...
E necesar s se jertfeasc
Pentru rna strmoasc,
Din rndul nostru un flcu
i vom cinsti numele su...
Sunt gata s fiu eu acela
Zic muie, deci, lu Arabella!
i-acestea zise, cu curaj,
S-a repezit spre utilaj
i-n urma lui a dat nval
i populaia local.
ncurajai de al su glas,
Au njurat de parastas,
De patrafir i de prescur
i ce le-a mai venit la gur,

S rzbunm satul Sciei

i s-i redm un bun renume
n ar i-n ntreaga lume...
i chiar aa s-a i-ntmplat
Reporterii-au ajuns n sat,
Cu aparate de filmat,
La timp s-o vad pe-Arabella
Cu i plea cu manivela
Pe scieeni, care fugeau
Strignd ba Nu mai da!, ba Au!.