How to Treat a Woman

1 Peter 3:7
May 9 & 10, 2009
Intro
In honor of Mothers Day, Im going to dissect a single
S cripture that describes how m en are to treat wom en. Then
Michelle Snook will speak on how women should treat
themselves. The principles in both halves of todays
message are applicable to ev eryon e and in every
relationship.
While preparing, I heard a song that provides a stark
contrast to how m en are to treat wom en. In fact, its called,
Things You Dont Say to Your Wife. The lyrics are from Tim
Hawkins and the tune is from Green Day. The song is
great, but greatly offensive - but that is the point. It paints a
picture of how we shouldnt act that will get us ready for
what the Bible says about how we should treat others. So,
here it is: SONG HERE (capo 4)
That pretty well illustrates how not to treat a woman.
Guys may talk to each other that way, but we cant get
away with assuming our mates are just like we are.
Many people have trouble seeing others as distinct from
themselves. Picture looking out a window at s om e on e and
s e eing your own reflection on the glas s. If youre lined up
just right, you can look through yours elf at others. We
actually view things that way all the time. We s e e our world
through our personal, subjective filters, expecting others to
operate as we would. We mak e judgm ents with ours elve s
in view.
Nowhere do we experience this more than in marriage.
Women might think, Why hasnt he c alled m e today? I
would nev er treat some on e I cared for that way! Men might
say, I ask ed a simple question; why do e s sh e insist on
b e ating all around the bush giving ev ery detail of the story
without simply getting to the point? We do differ in some
ways and yet we share the sam e value. Thats what well
see in 1 Peter 3:7, so lets get into it:

You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an

understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a
woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of
life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
The first phrase gives us
1. The connection: (to the context. This tells us how it
fits into the flow.)
You husbands likewis e In the s am e way as whom?
In this letter, Peter has just been pointing everyone to the
selfless example of Christ. He addresses citizens, servants,
wives and now husbands. All are to follow Jesus. Hes
calling us all to Christ-likeness.

2. The first command:

live with your wives in an understanding way
The form shows that it is to be continual, not just something
you do once. NIV translates: b e c onsiderate as you live...
but its lit: According to knowledg e. Many of us pride
ourselves on our knowle dg e about various things, but we
remain oblivious about women. Men must become students
of their wives. To know her, you must listen! You need to
understand her nature and peculiarities. Recognize how
shes different from you. Take that into consideration. One
difference is mentioned in

3. The corresponding comparison:

as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman
We ak er in what way: emotionally, intellectually, or
spiritually? Well, we get a hint when we learn that the word
ve s s el means jar or vas e and refers to the physical body as
a container of soul. This terminology makes me think of a
crystal vas e: precious, d elicate, and fragile. The point is
that she ne eds sp e cial attention, consideration, and
protection. Look out for her. Does she want to ski as fast as
you do? Or hike as far? Sh es not another you.

4. The second command:

and grant her honor

Giving honor means you show her respect. Grasp and

convey her high worth! Its dishonoring to squash others
into our mold. I asked women: how can he honor you? Be
proud of m e, dont put m e down, build m e up. Notice
things. I look nic e? In what way?
T - While women have a distinct identity, they have
absolute equality. This is shown in

5. The corresponding comparison

as a fellow-heir of the grace of life
This phrase describes our equal access to God. We have
e qual standing spiritually. This is a way in which we are the
same. But what about the verses concerning submission?
To rank under has to do with a position of authority, not
worth. Husbands and wives may have different roles, but
they dont have different value. Many verses make this
clear. No one is more important than anyone else. Were
equal where it counts: our value! R verse.

6. The consequence:
so that your prayers may not be hindered.
What is this saying? If we consistently fail to take into
account the ways in which we differ and the way in which
were the same, that sin will distance us from God. If your
prayer life is pitiful, ask yourself: Am I a jerk to my mate? If
you dont know, ask your wife. When we obey we have
unhindered acc e s s to God. But disregard Gods
instructions and youre on your own.
Conclusion: So, we need to see others as they are and
take into consideration how they differ from us, honoring
them as valuable. You know, this is how Jesus Christ
treated people. He took into consideration how people
differed from him and yet treated sinners like they had
value. His kind of love is what we need in our families and
that is the love that leads to new life in Jesus Christ.
Michelle will be talking more about that in a moment, but
lets bow now for

Prayer: connection between our horizontal relationships

with one another and our vertical relationship with you.