Confusing words - Relations, relatives and relationships

These three nouns often have very similar meanings, but are sometimes used in slightly
different ways. Judging by the number of questions asked about them on forums, learners
can find them quite confusing. In fact I think it's even difficult for a native speaker to explain
the difference; we just trust our instincts. So let's try to work them out.

1. Relations and relatives - members of the family

1a. When both relation and relative can be used
When we are talking about people who are in the same family as somebody else, these two words are
interchangeable (and countable):
They've invited all their friends and relations / relatives.
She's a relation / relative by marriage.
He's a close relation / relative of my wife's.
1b. Only relation (uncountable) used
In the following type of sentences, with no and any, we use relation, not relative:
She may look like me, but we're no relation.
Is Mary any relation to you?
1c. Only relative (countable) used
When we think of a family as a group of things, for example types of animal or plant, we use relative, not
relation:
The lion is a close relative of the tiger and the leopard.
Despite their names, strawberries and raspberries are not close relatives.
Exercise 1 - Choose between relation, relative or either
1. I have several .......... in the Unites States.
relations

relatives

either

2. Debby is not any .......... to me, we're just good friends.

relation

relative

either

3. Peter isn't a .......... of mine, we're just classmates.

relation

relative

either

4. The newt is a close .......... of the frog.

relation

relative

either

5. Sammy often plays with Tommy at his house, but they're no ...........
relation

relative

either

6. She's a distant .......... of mine.

relation

relative

either

7. Mojoceratops was a .......... of the triceratops which lived 75 million years ago.
relation

relative

either

It's interesting to note that while relative is a fairly recent word, it seems to be gaining ground over
relation, especially it would seem, in more formal writing.

2. Relations and relationships - the links between people, groups and countries.
2a. More general - relations

We use relations (plural) to talk in general about how countries and groups etc behave towards each
other:
The Senate Committee on Foreign Relations
Relations between the UK and the rest of the EU can get a bit strained.
Teacher-pupil relations in this school are very relaxed.
Much work is being done to improve doctor-patient relations.
2b. More specific - relationship
Relationship (usually singular) is more about a specific connection between two people and/or groups:
British politicians like to talk of the special relationship with the US.
The close relationship between France and Germany is at the heart of the EU.
This teacher has a particularly good relationship with his pupils.
The relationship between doctors and nurses is a crucial one in running a hospital.

Nouns and adjectives which collocate with relations

The following words are used with relations, but rarely with relationships, at least not in these contexts.
Exercise 2 - Complete the sentences with the appropriate words.
community race diplomatic press public investor industrial human
customer labour
1.

When referring to the relationship between management and workers generally in a country, we usually
talk about industrial
relations.

2.

But when we are talking specifically about management and trade unions, the term labour
relations is often used instead.

3.

After its embassy was attacked by government-sponsored demonstrators, the British government broke off
diplomatic

4.

relations with the Middle-eastern country.

relations legislation to counter discrimination against

Many countries have introduced race

ethnic minorities.

5.

The oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico was a(n) public

6.

Most retailers have (n) customer

7.

Some organisations employ a(n) press

8.

Helping different ethnic, religious, cultural, political, or linguistic groups live together is sometimes called
community

9.

relations disaster for BP.

relations department to deal with queries and complaints.

relations officer to deal with the media.

relations.

One particular way of studying of how people interact with each other, especially in the workplace, is
known as human
relations.

10. Many public companies have a(n) investor

relations department to give information to existing

and potential shareholders.

It would seem that with the expression between the two countries, relations is used more than
relationship.

But as soon as we start talking of a close connection, relationship is now more usual.

3. Relations and relationships - the way in which things are connected.

3a. Either relation or relationship can be used (but see graphs below):
The relation(ship) between smoking and lung disease is well understood.
The relation(ship) of the fisherman to the sea.
He's studying youth unemployment and its relation(ship) to crime.
3b. Expressions with the verb bear
The low salary bears no relation(ship) to the long hours.
The French we were taught at school bore little relation(ship) to the language spoken in
France.
If what he'd said had borne any relation(ship) to the truth, he might have got off.
3c. The expression in relation to
This expression can mean 'about / concerning' (rather formal), or 'compared with':
We have some doubts in relation to the wisdom of this move.
The giraffe's legs are very long in relation to its body size.
In this meaning, relationship seems to be taking over from relation.

But in expressions with the verb bear, relation seems to be more common.

The verb bear is often used with relation. It also collocates with certain other nouns.
Exercise 3 - Complete the expressions with the verb bear with suitable words from the box. Use
the underlined prepositions to help you.
blame thought cost scars comparison way thinking grudge
resentment repeating resemblance responsibility
1.

I can't bear the thought

2.

It just doesn't bear thinking

3.

She had really hurt him, but he bore little resentment

of losing you.
about.
towards her.

4.

In fact he never really bore a grudge

5.

I can't bear the way

against anybody in his life.

he's always smoking in the house.

6.

His latest film bears no comparison

7.

That joke just doesn't bear repeating

8.

He bore a distinct resemblance

9.

He had borne a lot of responsibility

with his brilliant early work.

, it's so awful.

to his father.
in his previous job.

10. We were all in the wrong, you shouldn't have to bear all the blame
11. They had to bear most of the cost
12. He still bears the scars

of their son's school fees.

from his last, disastrous relationship.

4. Relationships - friendship, love and sex.

4a. The way in which two or more people feel and behave towards each other
He has a very close relationship with his uncle.
It's a typical father-son relationship.
She has a very good relationship with her employees.
4b. A close romantic friendship between two people, which is often sexual
She's in a new relationship.
Have you had any serious relationships in the past year?
He's not really looking for a relationship right now.
he would love to have a relationship with her.
4c. The family connection between people
What's your relationship to Sandy? We're second cousins.
Note - Look at the difference between these two sentences:
The judge asked the witness what the relationship was between her and the defendant.
The judge asked the witness if she had had sexual relations with the defendant.
The second question is very specific, but the answer to the first question could be any of the following,
and many more besides:
I don't know him from Adam.
We're old school chums.
He's my husband's best mate.
We're just good friends.
He's my husband.
He's my brother
We're lovers

Collocations - adjectives often used with relationship.

Exercise 4 - Complete the sentences with the most appropriete adjectives. Be careful with casual
and causal.
causal love-hate stormy steady blood- casual caring business
on-off strained failed working
1.

I think they have quite a(n) casual

2.

Britain and France have a bit of a(n) love-hate

relationship, they both see other people.

relationship. Historically they've been both allies

and bitter enemies.

3.

We have a good working

4.

They'e in a(n) steady

5.

Do you think there's a causal

relationship with our suppliers.

relationship and have been going out for a few months now.
relationship between computer 'shoot-em-up' games and street

violence?
6.

Ours is a strictly business

7.

He's a bit fragile. He's recovering from a failed

8.

It's a bit of a(n) stormy

9.

We're related by marriage, but we don't have a blood-

relationship. We hardly ever meet socially.

relationship.

relationship; they're always having rows.

10. They seem to have rather a(n) on-off

relationship.

relationship. One week they're seeing other, the next

it's all over. And the next thing you know, they're back together again.
11. He has rather a strained

relationship with his parents. They don't really approve of his life

choices.
12. She has a very caring

relationship with her granny and spends a lot of time with her.

Idioms connected to relationships

Exercise 5 - Complete the sentences with appropriate words from the box.
spot terms on trousers wing under foot in loggerheads
length house call
1.

We got off on the wrong foot

2.

Tim and the new chap are getting on a like a house

3.

I think you're well in

4.

It's a stormy relationship; they're always at loggerheads

5.

He's got a bit of a soft spot

6.

But unfortunately for him, she's keeping him a bit at arm's length

7.

Paul and Ryan don't often see eye to eye on

when we first met, but now we get on really well.

on fire. They'll make a great team.

there, mate. You can see that she likes you.

with each other.

for the new girl.

.

things.

8.

Everybody has to be at the boss's beck and call

9.

They've had an argument and aren't on speaking terms

; it's no way to run a department.

at the moment.

10. Martin has taken the new starter under his wing

and will make sure he doesn't have any

problems.
11. It's not difficult to see who wears the trousers
12. She keeps him totally under

in that relationship.

her thumb. Poor bloke!

Collocations - verbs to talk about relations and relationships.

Certain verbs are often used to talk about international and business relations, relationships etc.
Exercise 6 - Decide whether these verbs are positive or negative when talking about relations
and relationships.
Positive Negative

Positive Negative

1.

break off

11.

foster

2.

build up

12.

jeopardise

3.

cement

13.

maintain

4.

cultivate

14.

promote

5.

cut off

15.

restore

6.

damage

16.

resume

7.

develop

17.

sever

8.

disrupt

18.

sour

9.

encourage

19.

strengthen

10.

establish

20.

undermine

Which two of those verbs suggest starting relations again after some sort of break? Enter them in the
same order as they appear in the list.
1.

restore

2.

resume

Which four verbs suggest that relations were stopped, even if only temporarily. Again enter them in
order.
3.

break off

4.

cut off

5.

disrupt

6.

sever

Which four verbs suggest that good relations are in danger. Again enter them in order.
7.

damage

8.

jeopardise

9.

sour

10.

undermine

Exercise 7 - Choose the correct options to complete the sentences.

1.

We are trying to cultivate

good relations through regular contacts with our opposite

numbers.
jeopardise - cultivate - cut off
2.

Relations between the two countries were disrupted

when a spy plane was shot down.

cemented - disrupted - established

3.

We like to maintain

close relationships with all our key clients.

maintain - sever - sour

4.

Relations between management and unions have soured

as both sides have increasingly

retreated into their own corners.

strengthened - developed - soured
5.

After a year's break they have resumed

their relationship with their previous supplier.

fostered - resumed - undermined

6.

Although this is a new market for the company, they have already established

close

relationships with local suppliers.

severed - established - damaged
7.

Any more anti-British actions will seriously jeopardise

relations between the two countries.

cement - break off - jeopardise

8.

They cemented

their new relationship by announcing a joint venture.

cemented - soured - undermined

9.

Diplomatic relations between the two countries have been restored

after a two-year break.

broken off - restored - fostered

10. Cancellation of some debt as well as increased investment has helped
foster

good

relations with this part of Africa.

sever - foster - damage
11. Relations between the UK and the rest of Europe are constantly undermined

by the anti-EU

section of the British press.

restored - undermined - cultivated
12. The company has severed

relations with the star of its advertising campaign after

complaints about his drunken behaviour in public.

damaged - severed - encouraged