Female

4 main issues
One uppermost is movements of body uncontrolled since birth of (3 rd?) babycan control with conscious movement but if start to relax or meditate if can
can focus ni like neck will rotate shoulder will go up down and legs jerk fast or
slow and rhythmical demos so with the movement I almost feel on guard all
time not good ot have socially bec ppl think have epileptic fit so have to find
way to interrupt by slightest movements of body fingers and body
Second lot of MIGRAINES I have to lie down and bec if they stay will vomit
have to be in quiet space- no stim no sound just quiet
3rd lot of IRRITATION BEFORE URINATION no feeling in bladder that need to go
but irritation top fo legs and perineum skin tells me need to go then irritation
continues 10-15 mins after have to scratch x3 to try to relieve it but does not
Irritation or itching? Irritating makes you scratch Before and after? before and/or after not during genitals and in pelvis wear
holes in clothing from scratching so much
Lot of backache en sciatic
Depression since 17 gloomy suicidal depression still get the thoughts but do
not act on them let them come and go
So at home feel long time working constantly looking after kids if want to
work find it diff to do what I want to find self putting everyone else before me
and forgetting myself and what I need to do
Invol movement effect on you? I feel I AM NOT NORMAL
You feel? There is a disturbance in my body that I DONT WANT TO TAKE
ANYWHERE AND BE WITH OTHER PEOPLE WITH DOTN FEEL COMF WITH OTHER
PEOPLE BEC OF THIS MOEVEMTN
DOTN FEEL COMF WITH OTHERS DOTN WANT OT BE WITH THEM LBM? DONT
want others to see th movements FEEL LIKE HIDING THEM ALL TI E- HAVIN GTO
HIDE WAHAT BODY WANTING TO DO AND HOW BODY WENTING OT MOVE
Desc I m hiding all the time? Constantly thinking if people wer looking at me w
ath would they thingk if they saw the movement they would nto understna
what they ar e- woudnto be comf with tha t- would want them to understand
What feel when they looking at me? I feel I WANT TO HIDE BEHIND S.T THAT
WILL PROTECT ME FROM THEM LOOKING AT ME HG LIKE IF CHIDL HDIES
BEHIDN S.T SMALLER LIKE SMALL TREE CHILD THINKS HIDIGN BUT CAN STILL
BE SEEN
Lbm wanting to hide hide behind s.that is protecting tell about this/
Feeling I get is MY M IS THERE and she is SCARED OF WHO I AM FRIGHTENED
OF WHO I AM
Mean? She only wants me to do what she wants me to and not be who I am
Why she frightened of who you are? Dont know
She does not like it if I am different from her

What is her feeling? Dont have answer

So what is your exp in this sit she does not like who you are etc? I have to be
WHO SHE IS otherise will be told off and PUNISHMENT IS TOO SEVERE
Desc? Will be HIT DONT WANT TO BE HIT
Just HURTING where I am hit
Desc process to be hit?
Taking a BEATING
Desc whole process?
Gone BLANK cant think of anything
Desc going blank?
Feels like there is pressure to answer q that not you thing from my m there is
right way of doing things and behaving
What mean going blank/ dullness I am feeling in my medulla my neck top of
the neck going BLANK
Desc this going blank?
Kind of confusion not feeling clear what to say not knowing what to say
Stuck in my expression in my words
When say punishment is too severe what mean?
That it not going to end t eh punishment will continue be over- the
condemnation will continue
What means condemnation? The attitude my mother had
Sometimes it is BEING PUT IN A PRISON
DESC? WHERE I CANT MOVE
FEELING PARALYSED by the HG by my MS GAZE at me
What he feeling? Worried doing things right- getting it wrong feeling I am BAD
WHAT I DO IS WRONG
What can happen? If get it wrong? Will be ISOLATED FROM EVERYBODY
Means word ISOLATED? Having nobody to love and not having ANY LOVE GIVEN
TO ME
Lbm re word ISOLATED? Being PUT APART BEING TAKEN AWAY FROM THE
GROUP THE FAMILY GROUP being PUT IN MY BEDROOM AS A PUNISHMENT
NOT BEING ALLOWED FOOD NOT BELONGING NOT BEING A PART OF
What the exp there? That there is s.t wrong with me that everybody in my
family is not allowed any contact with me that I am not allowed any contact
with them
What exp to be in that sit? It is very LONELY
Lbm re the punishment is too severe- what mean by severe punishment/ after it
is over it is not relay over bec is never forgotten it is not moved on from
What comes to mind spontaneously when you say SEVERE PUNISHMENT/ MY
BEDROOM
Tell? Looking out window off my bedroom at the sky and the house next door
and wanting to be out of my bedroom
Disconnect from you what is severe punishment? Not connected to you? A
HANGMAN

Tell? Image of the game play when kids word game draw lines (mimes)
draw structure of the wooden frame first
Lbm re hangman? Feeling of A CONVICT a CRIMINAL
Feeling of WHAT I HAVE DONE WRONG IS A CRIME OR SORT OF A RELIGIOUS SIN
SINFUL
Then what so? Dont know what to say now
Dreams? Hospitals at night time quite lot re that
Tell? Usually either px or even nurse working if nurse usually a urinary
catheter or some urinary system catheter bag on side of bed or s.t like that or
am outside hosp looking at lights in the building the STRUCTURE HG of the
hosp s.times I am going in s.times coming out
S.times friends and rels in the hosp in the beds
exp to be there (in that sit)?
Feels FAMILIAR dont have much feeling connection with it
Feels familiar means/ familiar environment to me
I know what I am doing
Exp? Feel a sense of purpose DOING S.T USEFUL FEELS IMP
EXACT OPP of this sense of purpose- doing s.t useful? USELESS I AM NOT
DOING ANYTHING TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE I AM A PIECE OF RUBBISH ON SCRAP
HEAP
How it feel? Not good
Other dreams? Not good at dreams
Only other dream I rem is childhood waking and TIGER IN ROOM
Exp? V FRIGHTENING RANINTO PARENTS ROOM
EXP OF THAT FIRHGT/ THOUGHT IT REAL THAT TIGER REALLY IN ROOM what
scary is that I believed it
Exp of tiger in room? Cant rem except frightening
What things had fear of as child? Was not esp fearful did not like walking
upstairs bec passage alongside it did not like it DID NOT KNOW WHAT WAS
THERE
What could be? DID NOT KNOW
In your imag? Dont rem
What could happen in imagination? [It] could come get me and EAT ME UP
EXP TO BE EATEN UP LIKE THAT? WOULD NOT EXIST ANY MORE- END OF ME
Other fears in childhood/ that Parents SPLIT UP AND DIVORCE LOT OF
ARGUMENTS
Effect? Wanted to stop them arguing scream stop hated the discord feeling
of the argument felt RESP FOR THEIR relship THEM NOT GETTING ON I TOOK
ON THAT RESP.
ANY kind of incidents or sits that had big impact on you?
Main one I rem was when about 8 my father was traumatised in the war.
He was v aloof he did not give any of his children or wife any of his contact t
here was no touch as conseq as child I SOUGHT ATTENTION OF OTHER MEN AS
ZERO ATTEN FROM MY F- he used to sail as hobby- me on river bank walkedalong came man v friendly- attempting to abduct me luckily ppl on river
could see and man from sail club came rescued me by this time I was on this
mans shoulders and going to go with him

He was GIVING ME PHYS CONTACT from that point of view and lack of phys
contact had led me to that place- luckily the man came along and intervened
and did not happen but then SEVERE PUNISHMENT FOR TALKING TO STRANGERS
WHEN I GOT HOME (near tears) and was SENT TO BED IWHT BOOK TO READ RE
FACTS OF LIFE DI DNOT UNDERSTAND BEC could not relate book with pictures
of naked ppl to the exp bec not old enough to understand the connection hg
Exp? CONFUSED as adult can look back and understand but as child did not
had been WILFULLY DISOBEDIENT going off on my own against instruction - I
felt I WAS BEING PUNISHED
Exp for you in this sit/ felt could never speak to my mum re this man and what I
had done so no comm bec mother only interested in telling off
Exp in that sit how it feel for you?
Takes me back to my bedroom again really bec that where I have been sent
there is kind of expectation from m I should know how to behave but she has not
told me so there is CONFUSION not knowing where to put self
Desc this confusion? How to behave not sure when what I am allowed to do
when allowed to do it feel I have to do what pleases her and if do not I get
PUNISHED if dont want punishment have to do that so I compromise on what I
need to do.
The other time relay my mother was not she always ben figure of
CONDEMNATION OF WHAT I DO never rem feeling comf with her- opp feeling of
one asking earlier is WANTING TO FEELING COMF
WATH WANT TO FEEL? YOU COULD NOT JUST GO AND BE LOVED AND HELD IN
UNCONDITIONAL WAY FEELS I AM FREE TO BE WHO I AM THAT I DONT HAVE
TO BEHAVE IN PARTICULAR WAY I CAN BE MYSELF
What is exp to be like this to be who I am and dont have to behave in
particular way?
Feels like can be SPONTANEOUS and NOT GUARDED AND HELD and it feels
that I AM IN MY OWN MOVEMENT
Feel I can be LOVING AND IT OK Usually not ok to be loving if think how mother
was to me
What is love to you?
Being open
Not holding onto things not withholding so flowing freely.
What mean by holding?
Holding back what I am thinking and feeling
What means holding back? Going away
Removing myself going away
The loving side is.. if ask what is love WANTING TOUCH THE WARMTH OF
PHYSICAL TOUCH
DESC THIS WARMTH OF PHYS TOUCH? I have GONE BLANK AGAIN
Desc this gone blank? Feeling like I know there is no it feels just a confusion
but getting that sens in medulla again slightly buzzing feeling in medulla again

What feel there buzzing? Where feel exactly (left side of occiput)

What exp there?

(obs one hand holding other)
If focus on that area nd brought attn. to it felt GOING AWAY WITH FAIRIES
GOING AWAY S.WHRE ELSE
WHERE? (HG GOES BACK) into kind of like HYPERSPACE WHERE NOTHING
HAPPENS EMPTY SPACE INSIDE interests and hobbies dont have many apart
from gardening dont really have time for them dont feel interested in things
so much I struggle to read a book that sort of things dont have any
enthusiasm no imagination no drive to do that
How that feel? Very DULL AND BORING and I feel I SHOULD BE DOING S.T BUT
NOT SITTING IN THIS SPACE FEELING SHOULD BE GETTING ON WITH
EVERYTHING AROUND ME but not doing that like going throughthe motions
like NOT INHABITING YOUR BODY PROPERLY when have expxx of being in my
body I feel I PROPERLY INHABIT MY BODY most of time I am not but AM OUT
S.WHERE ELSE
Desc? My essential exp is I AM BIT CUT OFF HG FROM MYSELF CANT FEEL MY
SEX DESIRE OF NEEDING GO TOIELT IN NORMAL WAY I am not in touch with
my own sense of touch (HG rubs palms) NO WANTING TO BE IN TOUCH
WITH MY OWN MOVEMENT OF MY HANDS SO CAN WORK WITH MY HANDS ON
PPL
Desc this BEING IN TOUCH ? Feels nice - alive I WANT TO FEEL EVERYTHING
ALL THE COLOURS ARE BRIGHT I can see everyone elses colours too.
Lbm cut off from self not inhabiting body cant feel anything etc? feels v
PAINFUL
To not be able to love my h way I want or he wants to not be connected to
myself
How does it feel? Just feels VERY ALONE
Desc this very alone feeling? There is NOBODY THER E- NOONE WILL COME IF I
CALL SO NO POINT CALLING DESPAIR WITH BEING ALONE
You have h/a desc? Currently in menopause- used to com START AND END OF
EACH MENSES
Now dont know when will come bec periods v irreg now
Start and end means/ day before
Or during? Day before period start RIGHT ON LAST DAY AS ENDING strong
feeling of wanting to LIE DOWN HAVING TO ENDURE TIL OVER NOT EATING OR
DRINKING TIL IT IS OVER
Obs LEG JERKS
It not til now I feel able to relax with you
h/a want to lie down what sens in h/a?
SHARP ACHING
Wanting to put hand over the forehead trying to find comf position where
slightly less pain in bed
What makes it more or less? Things that make it more are STANDING BRIGHT
THINGS
LIKE/ ANYTHING LUMINOUS LIKE REFLECTIVE HG COLOURS
LIGHT/ ANY LIGHT DAYLIGHT OR ELECTRIC ANY SOUND

What kind? Of the children TALKING TOO LOUDLY

Effect? SHUTTING SELF AWAY TIL IT OVER FINISHED
MEANS SHUTTING AWAY? GOING TO BEDROOM AND SHUTTING THE DOOR SO NO
STIM NO CHILDREN NO DEMANDS ON ME NO LIGHT
Also sound/ noise/ ANY NOISE we live in quiet place
In gen w.o h/a noise bothers or not? Depends on the sound like REPETITIVE
MUSIC ON RADIO HAVE TO MAKE IT START
WHAT? RAVE MUSIC
How desc? Quality? REPETITION- GRATES ON ME diff to desc
Any other sound disturbs? Like music w.o harmony
Forget music? Sudden sounds like with sound system here
Desc? Feels like SHOCK TO EAR SUDDENNESS like son not turned down phone
and sound comes quick in the car feel v cross with him and feel like he TRYING
TO BEAT ME UP BATTERING ASSAULT ON EARS ESP LEFT SIDE
WHAT KIND OF SOUND IS THAT? SHOCK IN THE EARS SUDDEN NOISE
How desc that sound? Dont know how to desc like a SCREECHING
Desc screeching? Like a BIRD that is in distress.
Whatever comes? Just think of SCREECH OWLS
Forget owls what is screeching? SHOUTING
Screeching means exactly? SHRILL
LBM SCREECHING OR SHRILL? Sharp - Like sound of chalk on chalk board
buzzards where we live
What happened with sound of chalk board? Feels like have to PROTECT MYSELF
(BG RECOIL AND SHOULDERS UP)
WHAT HAPPENS IN YOUR MIND/BODY WHEN THAT SOUND IS HEARD? FEELS
TRAUMATIC
Movements? INVOL MOVEMENTS TRIGGERED BY TOUCH GO TO HUG PARTNER
AND LEGS START SHAKING FEELS ORDEAL TO GO HUG S.O AND HAVE PHYS
TOUCH TRAUMA IN ITSELF
What exp/ NOT SMOOTH energy not going through me smoothly like short
circuit in system electrical going through me and no earth no earthing of the
electrical current FEELS BIT LIKE ELECTRICAL CURRENT RUNNING THROUGH ME
LIK NO EARHTING ANO EARTH WIRE IN PLUG
No earthing means/ the energy is JUMPING CAN BE QUITE VIOLENT
MOVEMETN VIOELTN CAN LIFT UP LEGS ND ARCH THEM INTO BE D- UP 3-4 FEET
AND COME DOWN BANG ONTO BED tha thte other thgan that trigger S LYING
DOWN AND TOUCH.
Electrical current/ sense of ELEC MOVING THROUGH SHOOTING ELECTRICAL
SENS
Desc some more ? no comm between nerves and muscles
What can trigger? Going for medical exam or sitting here showing s.o makes
me feel APPREHENSIVE UNCOMF
Apprehension? Uncertainty
Uncertainty? Worry what other going to think

Uncertainty? NOT SURE INSECURITY

Nothing is coming
So what is that? That I am giving you wrong answer that BLANKNESS AGAIN
What is blankness? Not able to think not being able to conc CANT FOLLOW
DISJOINTED - DISCONNECTED
FROM? NOT RESPONSIVE like no back and forth in conversation bec there this
What is DISCONNECTED? Just go BLANK EACH TIME NOW WHEN ASK Q
Why go blank? Dont have reply response anything to say to you
Not feeling my body exp? Harshness no connection to my heart
How if this exp to be not connected cut off? UNPLEASANT if think about it
start wanting to cry but cant even do that tears almost too far away it is over
ther e- tears are over there ( points ) not in me
Means/ cant connect to my emots fully and allow them to FLOW THROUGH ME
ALLOW THAT FLOWING (hg) COMING AND GOING
What are the sits that cause max stress or tension?
Arguments with my f
Giving talk in front of others
DESC ARGUMETNS WITH F? have argued lot mainly re money END UP JUST
WOUNDING EACH OTHER WITH WHAT say to each other
In this sit what you exp? Fear
How feel within you ? apprehensive- NOT KNOWING WHAT GOING TO HAPPEN
NEXT- UNSURE UNCERTAIN not sure doing right thing
UNSURE UNCERTAIN? FOCUS WHAT EXP? TIGHTNESS FEEL SLIGHTLY SICK in
the sens now but cannot give word to it dont have any words for it not
getting any words or images of anything
What is the exp? Feeling uncomf cant relax S.T IS GOING TO HAPPEN that I
am not going to like
What? s/t unpleasant
Thing that comes to mind is I rem threatening .. rem in parents relship threat of
parents might separate that partner might leave me
How that threat feel within?
Feels a big worry.
Just sits there all time does not change
What is sitting there? The uncertainty of that sit
Which may END IN BEING LEFT
REACTION TO THAT EXP? Almost want the certainty of creating the sit of partner
leaving me bec that more certain
What you do? REJECT HIM
Then why you reject him? Bec it feels more certain I know if go to him I wont
be rejected

CANT BEAR THOUGHT OF BEING REJECTED FEELS MORE CERTAIN

Opp? TRUST TRUSTING
Opp of certainty? Feeling secure
BEING LEFT ALONE? Feeling like I dont know
Desc I dont know in gen? like I feel I dont know the answer to the qq or the
rem when px comes to me
Exp of I DONT KNOW? Anx
Exp of I dont know? Desire to know want to know
The exp I dont know? It is uncertain? Just tension with it
Reaction to that tension?
I am not aware of a reaction to that tension
Food and drink?
Only craved when preg lemons but ate too many sore stomach
LIKE SALTY
Keeping things in order? Since been alone been NOT CLEAR IN MY THINKING
MEANS? NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO WHEN
MEANS/ HARD TO PRIORITISE
NOT CLEAR IN THINKING MEANS? I HAVE HAD EVERYONE ELSE TO THINK OF so
cant think of self at same time so spent lot of time with attn. on other ppl then
forgetful re s.t q imp
Suicidal feeling?
After arguments with h- or STUCK AT HOME
What feeling? World would be better off w.o me WORTHLESSNESS OR LOW SELF
ESTEEM
Your exp of worthless etc? heavy HERE IN CHEST (TOP ) out breath
Desc lbm? Not being able to change my domestic sit
Sleep ok? Tend to wake in the night just to go toilet or 1-2 in night then can
get back to sleep q easily like to lie on front when sleeping - one LEG OUT
SOME POINT IN NIGHT HAVE TO HAVE LEGS OUT TO SIDE
Ms preg? Fathers br was paranoid schizo would come to kill his mother with a
knife in flat above mother was fearful he would come and kill her and
children he committed suicide shortly after
M tell you what her state? Later very fearful of this happening
When preg with own son in yoga class had IMAGE OF MAN COMING AT ME
WITH KNIFE OUTSIDE ROOM CRYPT IN CHURCH WHERE DOING IT that v strong
Exp for you? I did not really understand or make sense of it so at time ALARMED
Exp inside? Dont rem- knew it was a fear
How exp in you? Dont rem can picture self exp it cant rem how I exp it at
time

Woke up once hospitalised with a dream that I STABBED MY PSYCHIATRIST - 3

times woke up believing what done though had killed him fortunately came
to my senses and had not
What rem of exp? Had stabbed him 3 times to kill him REACTION WAS TO WANT
RUN AWAY ND KILL SELF
Why? So escaped form hospital got train and was about to go kill self then came
to sense
Bec? Could not bear though I had killed him either had killed him and he was v
dear to me
Exp to think had killed him? Horrified I had done such a dreadful awful thing
How feel ? could not bear to think had MURDERED S.O FELT V GUILTY
TREMENDOUS GUILT- I HAD KILLED THIS MAN
DESC GUILT? USE ANY OTHER WORD? (NOTHING)
CONSEQUENCE OF ACTION in your imagination?
That I would BECOME A CRIMINAL AS WELL AS MURDERER THAT I WOULD BE
PUNISHED
HOW? BEING LOCKED UP MAYBE BEING HANGED BEING PUT TO DEATH
How would that exp be?
Unbearable
How that exp? Feel NEED TO GET OUT FEELING TRAPPED NOT ABLE TO MOVE
How feeling eg now? Ok
Was not sure re being videoed.
What exp? Not knowing what to expect
Exp? Being IGNORANT.
NOT KNOWING can you use another word?
When you ask that the tinnitus BUZZING AND RINGING IN EARS INCREASE.
BUZZING AND RINGING? SINGING striplight buzzing sound
ANALYSIS:
Dream : eg in preg going to be STABBED WITH KNIFE
Preparing for such an attack. UMBELLIFERAE stupefaction, dullness
LEPROSY: CICUTA CONVULSIONS
No not!
[Aside re participants suggestion: MAG-P in particular is a Mag with
convulsions]
Other features:
INVOL MOVEMENT
URINATION IRRITATION BEFORE AND AFTER
SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

What works is preciseness exactness so what look for is what can be SURE
OF CLEAR PRECISE FIRST ANCHOR
Effect
Dont want to be with others dont want them to see movement hiding all
time constantly thinking want to hid behind s.t that can protect me- (can be
mollusc or Row 2 or plant)
What to do? She does not expand on this but connects to mother
So idea of protect and want to hide behind s.t is NOT CENTRAL TO CASE dont
see anywhere else
Then come to the mother she does nto like it if I diff from her
If not? PUNISHMENT IS TOO SEVERE WOULD BE HIT or HURT
ROW 3 COMPOSITAE?
EXP TO BE HURT AND TAKE A BEATING? I HAVE GONE BLANK A DULLNESS A
CONFUSION NOT FEELING CLEAR
This KEEPS COMING OVER AND OVER
When ask her re this desc lit bit more later
But here says: I am ISOLATED - this COMES AGAIN AND AGAIN
So just identify the things COMING AGAIN AND AGAIN start looking for s/t to
hang case on then go from there up to there just looking at different things
looking for s.t CAN TAKE FOR SURE AND GO FROM THERE
Sever punishment? Prison cant move paralysed.
Gaze. Confused
Dream of hospitals at night catheter urination.
Exp? FAMILIAR sense of purpose doing s.t useful useless piece of rubbish.
Could you imagine s.o saying a FAMILIAR ENVIRONMENT this is the most
PECULIAR THING HERE (she used to be nurse)
Fear as child: I did not know what was here ie WHEN DID NOT KNOW
UNKNOWN
Felt responsible
Started talking to STRANGER took me then mother sent her to room with sex
ed book THEN EXP: CONFUSION not guilt. (so again repeated)
Only 8 given a book not ready for it.
REPEATED WORD: BLANKNESS DULLNESS CONFUSING
I AM NOT IN TOUCH NOT FEELING EMOTS NOT INHABITING MY BODY - NOT IN
IT CUT OFF
DULL CONFUSED VERY ALONE.
At this point I realised this is what coming again and again in case
though no clue what it is.

Now want one solid thing to ANCHOR SELF so ask re h/a the second clear sx.
At START AND END OF MENSES just before and just when it ends strange not
v common to have both and not during.
Have to LIE DOWN cant take light or sound.
Here I find my ANCHOR. Rep splits up sxx into component parts scatters the
proving sxx.
Here RW useful: headache 3 menses 3 before 2 after
8 remedies. Only in Asarum says violent h/a before AND after menses (and not
during).
EXCESSIVE NERVOUS SENSIBILITY CANNOT BEAR TO HEAR SOUND OF
SCRATCHING ON LINEN.
HEAD:
Pain Light agg.
Pain lying amel.
Main reaction is TO WITHDRAW
Bec the outside world so confusing feels ISOLATED AND NOT A PART OF THINGS
AROUND HER NOT FULLY THERE.
What noise affects her? SUDDEN NOISE- SUDDEN SHRILL SHARP- have to
PROTECT SELF too traumatic this sx of SCREECHING NOISE (in RS case in
Plants vol 2) it is a PENETRATING SOUND have to withdraw
V strong AGG FROM TOUCH so when look at this Asarum is v strong
Like SHOCK or JERK (Plants 2: type of shock or jerk passes throughout my body in
millisec)
What makes you tense or worried? UNCERTAINTY when DONT KNOW WHAT
WAITING FOR YOU (IE UNKNOWN)
WHAT HAPPENS: I DISCONNECT
ANX IN STOM is in Asaram
When see forsaken feeling in mind also the forsaken feeling is given FEAR
FROM NOISE AND TOUCH
DISORGANISED. (Rep: Chaotic) [CANCER MODE]
CONFUSION OF MIND
ON ATTEMPTING TO CONC HAS VACANT FEELING MIND GOES BLANK CANT
FOCUS
OPPRESSION OR HEAVINESS OF CHEST v strong
Ms story fear of being stabbed and killed in preg.
Dream/del: stabbed psychiatrist felt v guilty ASAR HAS DREAMS OF GUILT

Interesting is the miasm: CANCER

Believe this her exp in childhood- at age 8 mother gives her s.t totally unknown
to look at and read go figure yourself
The exp is here I am in totally consuming exp with no help and I HAVE TO GROW
UP V V QUICKLY AND KNOW AND UNDERSTAND THINGS TTHAT ARE IMPOSSO FOR
ME HUGE JOB AND WITH PARENTS STOPPIGN THE FIGHT S- HUGE RESP SO
MUCH KEEP CONTROL EVEN IN VERY (OVERWHELMING) CIRCUMSTANCES
APPREHENSION BEFORE COMING: NOT KNOWING WHAT TO EXPECT s.t not used
to [ie will I be able to adapt to this or will I go blank]
Produces buzzing ringing SINGING in ear Asarum has
NERVOUS SYSTEM DISTURBANCE NO LOCAL SX SOME GENERAL BUT MAIN
THRUST IS MIND AND NERVES: PNEI: LEVEL 4 ASARUM 1M.
Touch agg is big rubric here
One of main effects of the ailment is that she CANNOT BE IN TOUCH OUT OF
TOUCH ISOLATED.
She spontaneously said forgot to say invol movements agg touch when talking re
the sens to shrill
So connects this sensitivity
MAGNOLIANAE: like ALIEN
What is this strange world come to reaction is to get out of touch and go in own
little world based with any kind of exciting sit her reaction would be blankness,
dullness, buzzing, rather than face any unfamiliar reality
Urinary sxx? Tried to look but could not find in the rx [but reflects out of touch]
THIS IS case of REACTION NOT AM I CAPABLE OR DO I NEED A PARTNER OR S.O
TO DEPEND ON.
Her reaction is to get out of touch become dull and blank.
SENS SCRATCHING OF S.T ON LINEN ON CHALK IS EXACT CONFIRMED SX
STOP BEING CLEVER OBSERVE ACUTELY.
See www JUST FOR LAUGHS.
Most has to do with MAGNOLIANAE sensation level you see Solanaceae too.
In one: one guy going in street - guy with measuring stick asks s/o just walk
towards the engineer measuring suddenly the engineer runs away and police
with guns all coming towards him looks back and sees 150 people with red
flags shouting revolution and police with guns pointing at him confusion
whatever happened all of sudden that is MAGNOLIANAE.
Another heavy sleeper lift bed and put in middle of park- guys dressed as NA
natives all around him looking at him pointing spears down- it is totally different
world confusing and bewildering go into kind of shock like Camphora when
they do that they DONT WANT ANY TOUCH OR NOISE COMING FROM OUTSIDE GIVES THEM SHOCKS OR V V SEVERE FEELINGS JUST WANT LAYER OF

ANAESTHESIA AROUND THEM like could be how she reacts to touch and hugs in
this px.