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Nowwhat?
Aftertheringingapplauseofvictorysubsides,manyOlympicathletesfindthemselvesin
depression.Somehaveapsychologicalmeltdown
ArghyaGanguly|MumbaiAugust18,2012LastUpdatedat00:16IST
TheWaltherriflewaslyingicecoldinthesafe.Scoresofpelletboxeswerekeptunopened.Abhinav
Bindrawasfeigningsleepwhenthefivea.m.alarmrangforpractice.Itwasananomaloussituation.For
14years,Bindrahadbeenwakingupatthreea.m.topracticeathishomerangeifanideasuddenly
dawnedonhim.Now,theshootingrangewaslockedup,indefinitely.WhenImethimthreemonthsafter
hisBeijingtriumph,Bindrawassportingacheerlesslookonhisface.Ihadthoughtitwasasimplecase
ofmotivationalproblem.Iwaswayoffthemark.ItwasanotsosimplecaseofPostOlympic
DepressionSyndrome(PODS),ashewouldlaterconfessinAShotatHistory:MyObsessiveJourneyto
OlympicGold.Thestruggletobecomeachampiondoesntendin9.67seconds.Thestruggleinvariably
beginsthedayafter.
Hesinafunnymoodthesedays,BindrascoachGarbrieleGabyBuhlmannwouldtellmethatday.
Sometimeshesaysyes[toshooting]andattheverynextmomenthessayingno.Heschanginghis
mindeveryfiveminutes.AsfarasIcanseeheisnotreadytotakeupshootingoncemore.Everyday,
sincetheageof12,Bindrahadwokenuptojustoneobjective.HewantedanOlympicmedal.Hegot
one.Nowwhat?ThisquestionhauntsmanyOlympiansaftertheyreachtheirgoals.Inshort,thisis
PODS.VariantsofNowwhat?pileupasathletesgetthatnauseatingsensationofathousandbees
buzzingintheirhead.
FewdaysbeforeIhadmetBindrain2008,hehadfallenapartinahotelroominBhopal.Oscillating
fromeuphoriatosadness,heputhishandsonhisfaceandwept.Hedidntrecognisethisherothathe
hadbecomeintheeyesofhiscountrymenaftertheOlympictriumph.NowIcouldsleeplatebutIdidnt
knowhowto.Iwasdressedbutwithnowheretogo,hewroteinhisautobiography.InmyrangeI
foundmyselflost,mygunIdidntwanttotouch.Ihadgonefrom100percentobsessiontozero
obsession,likesomeonehadputabreakonmyacceleratedlife.PreBeijing,Buhlmannwouldyankhim
outoftheshootingrangeasopposedtootherstudentswhowouldgivefalseexcusestoescapetraining.
*****
Inanotherpartoftheworld,inBaltimore,aroundthesametimeasBindrawasgoingthroughhispost
Olympiccrisis,AmericanswimmerMichaelPhelpswashavinghispsychologicalmeltdown.Phelpshad
returnedwitheightgoldmedalsfromBeijingOlympics.Butinsubsequentmonths,whenthetimecame
toprepareforLondonOlympics,hestartedtoshirk.AfterBeijing,Imean,therescountlesstimes
whereIvejustwantedtobelike,Idontwanttodothisanymore.Idontwanttogotothepoolevery
day,PhelpstoldaTVchannelthisyear.Hisday,postBeijing,beganat11:00oclockintheafternoon.
Mostofthetimewasspentindoorsplayingvideogames.Anotherthingwhichcaughthisfancywas
Marijuana.Hewasclickedsuckingonabong.Phelpswentthroughahugedepressionphasewherehe
keptaskinghimselfthatpatentPODSquestion:WhatamIdoing?Forsubstanceabuse,Phelpswas
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suspendedfromcompetingforthreemonthsbyUSASwimmingin2009.Accordingtoaresearch
publishedinawebsiteconcerningthe1982CzechOlympians,eightintensufferedserioussubstance
abuseandemotionalproblemswhiletryingtoreadjustthemselvesontheirroadbacktoregularlife
postthemassivehighofOlympics.InanotherresearchconductedbyTuftsUniversityintheUS,
researchersfoundthatdepressionisdirectlycorrelatedwithinactivity.Olympiansareknowntogooff
theirrigoroustrainingscheduleaftertheOlympics.Thiscreatesakindofwithdrawalsymptom
associatedwithdrugaddicts.
Ittooknearlyeightmonthsafterthe2008OlympicsforPhelpstogetbacktothepool.Bindra,onthe
otherhand,gotbacktohisartafterayearofdrifting.Yet,Phelpswouldfrequentlyskippractice,take
offonaroadtriptoLasVegasonawhimwithhisfriendsorplaygolfwhilehiscoachBobBowman
wouldbewaitingtoputhimthroughaspecialpracticebeforetheNationals.Asateenager,forsix
consecutiveyears,Phelpsnevermissedasingledayoftraining.Iwasntintunetoeverythingthatwas
goingoninthepool,washowPhelpssummeduphispostOlympicblues.
*****
PODSdoesntnecessarilywaittostrikeaftertheOlympics.Itoftencomessoonerattimes,inthe
middleoftherace.SuzyFavorHamiltonwasthefavouritetowinthewomens1500matthe2000
SydneyOlympics.TheAmericanhadclockedthefastesttimeintheworldthreemonthsbacktomakea
strongcase.Onthestartingline,though,shehadtroublekeepingherequanimity.Shestartedtothink
aboutherbestfriendMary,dyingofcancerherparentscomingtotermswithherbrotherssuicidethe
yearbeforeandhersponsorswhohadspentamilliondollarsonanadvertisementfeaturingherright
beforetheevent.Shebecameafraidoflettingthesepeopledown.
Yet,asthegunfired,shetookofflikeachamp.Forthreeroundsshefrontedthegroup.Andthen,her
mindcollapsed.With100mremaining,tworunnerspassedher.Inhermind,shesawnooneelseasthe
winner.Andthentwoothersleapfrogged.AndinthatsplitsecondItoldmyselftojustfallonpurpose,
andIfellreallygood,likeItrippedorsomething,saidHamiltoninLearningtoLose:AnOlympic
Confessional,aBBCdocumentary.Shepulledoutofthenext2004AthensOlympicsatthelastminute.
Andin2005,sufferingfromdepression,contemplatedsuicide.
PeterHaberl,aseniorpsychologistwithTeamUSAfortheOlympics,willbeworkingwithathletes
whovesufferedcrushingdefeatslikeHamiltonattheLondonOlympics.Toacertainextentitcanbe
likestagesofgrieving,Haberltoldawebsite.Inthatmomentitisimportanttobepresentwithan
athleteandtohelpthemunderstandthatthemoment,thoughitisextremelypainful,willpass.
Haberloftenuseshumourtodriveoutnegativity.Anathletessobstoryusuallystartswithaclich:Ilet
mycountrydown.Haberlmakesthembelievethattheyreoverestimatingthemselves.Yesyoulostbut
whenyoureturnedhome,Haberlasks,werealltheflagsathalfmast,wasthecountryinmourning,and
didtheyclosetheschools?
Youreprobablyaskingyourselfifsuchadisorder[PODS]evenexistsorifwerejusttryingtobe
funny,writesjudokaTarajeWilliamsMurrayinhisblog.MurrayWilliamstookayeartorecoverfrom
hisBeijingOlympicloss.Andhetookanotheryeartofigureouthisfuturegoal.Everythingseems
sickeninglymundane.Ordinarylifeisalotdifferentthanviewingtheworldfromtheloftyvantagepoint
ofMountOlympics.Backouthereintherealworld,nothingfeelslikeitcanevergobacktonormal.
Butitdoes.AnditdidforBindraandPhelps.Againtheyfoundobsession,againnormalcy.

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