COMPLIMENTARY

AUGUST 2016, VOL. 14 ISSUE 7

SEE PAGE 24

COVER PHOTO BY BLISS PHOTOGRAPHY

Publisher / Editor
Mike Strong

Table of Contents
LSU FOOTBALL .......................4

Sales Manager
Dottie Godberry

LAYNES JEWELRY ..................9

Staff Photographer

CHAMP OF CHAMPS..............10

Jimmy Dunkley

SWEET EYES W/ TANYA.... ....12

FOR MORE INFORMATION

COUNTRY KITCHEN............................24

www.riverparishfoods.com

225.622.3262

Contributing Writers

JAMMIN WITH GOOSIE........ 29

Bill Delaune
BILL DELAUNE........................ 30

Linda Melancon
Calvin Bessonett

THOUGHTS FROM BULLY.....36

Bully

PELICAN POINT.......................38

Goosie Guice
Orhan McMillan
Mireworks
Kellie Seymour
Tanya Stilley
Jimmy Dunkley

For Advertising
Information Please call:
225-622-1324

E-Mail Comments
to Stronggraphics1@cox.net
www.ascensionmagazine.net

Note: Features in this

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All Rights Reserved.
Opinions expressed are not
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publisher, editor or staff of
Ascension Magazine

18386 Little Prairie Rd.

Prairieville, LA 70769

TIGER TIME
2016
FOOTBALL PREVIEW

PROVIDED BY LSU SPORTS INFORMATION

LSU football preview for 2016,
including keys to success for the
Tigers, best players and season
prediction.

to do it. The big difference is

experience at quarterback with
Brandon Harris having been
through the wars.

What You Need To

Know About The
LSU Offense

Harris will never be Tom Brady,

but he should be a positive after
a good offseason. Of course, the
offense will mostly work around
Leonard Fournette, but he
might not have to carry as much
of the load if the passing game
does its part. The offensive line
is strong enough and good
enough to make life easy for
No. 7.

Yeah, LSU might have the best

player in college football to run
the ball, but its going to have a
passing element, too. Offensive
coordinator Cam Cameron
knows how to get an air show
flying, and hes got the receivers

PHOTOS BY STEVE FRANZ

Biggest Key To The

LSU Offense
Its not going to be all Leonard
Fournette. Of course the Tigers
are going to feed the guy who
should currently be a multi-millionaire starting in an NFL
backfield, and when push comes
to shove, the offense is going to
go with the power running
game. But after finishing 105th
in the nation in passing, this
time around the Tigers will be
more efficient and should add
far more pop through the air.

Malachi Dupre and a healthy

Travin Dural form a terrific receiving punch thatll finally start
getting used more. Brandon
Harris is a decent enough passer
to get by, and now hes got the
experience. As long as theres
more of a threat of Harris pushing the ball deep, the running
game should be even deadlier.

What You Need To

Know About The
LSU Defense
New defensive coordinator
Dave Aranda isnt going to necessarily ramp up the pressure
like all new coordinators say
theyre going to do, but hes
going to implement his 3-4
alignment at least as much as
possible while making the
scheme as easy as possible for all
the veterans to quickly adapt to.
All four starters are back to a
line that can switch up the
alignment when needed, and
while losing Deion Jones and
Lamar Louis from the outside
of the linebacking corps hurts,
theres a ton of speed and
young talent to work into the
fold. Jamal Adams should be
among the best safeties in the
country as the star of a loaded
secondary.

Biggest Key To The

LSU Defense
Dave Arandas 3-4 should be
fantastic. The new defensive coordinator will use a variety of
sets and schemes, but at its base
will be a 3-4 alignment that
should crank up the production
from the defensive tackles and
4

start to add up in the bigger

battles. For an offense that
thrives on third-and-short, flags
were drive killers last season.

Best LSU Offensive

Player

theyre jacked about it.

The linebackers will be turned
loose from all four spots, while
the front threes job is to dominate between the hashmarks and
crash into the backfield. With
superstar line coach Ed Orgeron
handling the front three, expect
it to be an absolute killer.

RB Leonard Fournette, Jr. Theres no real argument

against Derrick Henry winning
the 2015 Heisman, and theres
no beef against Deshaun Watson and Christian McCaffrey
being finalists, but Fournette
deserved to be in New York. He
had one bad game, and it was
against a frothing-at-the-mouth
Alabama defense that held him
to 31 yards and a score on 19
carries. Fournette's 1,953 yards
and 22 touchdowns were special, and now the spotlight and
pressure are on to do it all again
- and even more if the Tigers
are going to win the SEC title.

LSU Will Be Far

Better If
The penalties slow to a crawl.
Flags have been a problem in
the past for LSU, but after
doing okay in 2014, the Tigers
were hit 97 times last year. The
team should be good enough to
overcome some bad outings,
but eight penalties a game will

44253 Hwy. 42

(1 mile from Port Vincent)

Best LSU Defensive

Player
S Jamal Adams, Jr. - The Tigers
are loaded with potential all-star

and NFL defenders. TreDavious White (CB/S), Kendall

Beckwith (LB) and Christian
LaCouture (DT) are just a few
of the returning rocks for what
should be an improved defense.
But its Adams who should be
the best of the bunch, thanks to
prototype size and next-level
range.
The pass defense was just okay
last season, but it should be fantastic this time around with all
the returning talent and experience. Adams should be an AllAmerica lock and a first round
draft pick next year if all goes
according to plan.

Key Player To A
Successful Season
QB Brandon Harris, Jr. - With
Anthony Jennings transferring,
theres no looking over the
shoulder Harris is the LSU
quarterback wholl be the difference between a good offense
and a fantastic one. Everything
else around him is there to succeed, and now its his job to be
more efficient, more effective

The LSU Football

Season Will Be A
Success If

and even more of a playmaker.

Last year he only completed
54% of his passes for 2,158
yards, 13 scores and eight picks,
while also rushing for 226 yards
and four touchdowns. He doesnt have to carry the team or the
offense on his shoulders, but for
LSU to play up to its potential,
hell have to come up with at
least one big game and pull out
at least one huge win.

Last year, LSU was 7-0 before

going to Tuscaloosa, and the
Crimson Tide pitched a defensive gem. The Tigers have lost
their last five games against
Bama starting with the 2012
BCS Championship but if all
goes according to plan, this
should be the game of the year.

They win the SEC title. Theyre

actually going to be good
enough to get to the College
Football Playoff and play for the
national title, but for a team
coming off a disappointing season, and after all the drama,
winning the SEC championship
would be fantastic. Theres no
real excuse for it not to happen
considering all the returning talent and experience set the expectations very, very high and
look for the return of a superpower.

Key Game
Nov. 5 vs. Alabama Any team
worthy of being talked about
for the CFP and maybe even the
national title should be able to
beat Wisconsin and Florida on
the road, and at least go 3-1
against those two, Arkansas and
Texas A&M on the road. Ole
Miss has to come to Death Valley; so does Alabama.

Fun LSU Football

Stats From 2015
First Quarter Scoring:
LSU 83 Opponents 33
Penalties: LSU 97 for 784 yards
Opponents 72 for 600 yards
Sacks: LSU 34 for 236 yards
Opponents 17 for 119 yards

St. Elizabeth Physicians Opens St. Amant Clinic

Sean deBarros, MD
St. Elizabeth Physicians opened
its 11th clinic in St. Amant on
July 18, 2016. The clinic located at 13489 Highway 431
will provide primary care. Sean
deBarros, M.D., a family
medicine physician, along
with Family Medicine Nurse
Practitioner, Hollie Ortis,
FNP-C, and Pediatric Nurse
Practitioner, Holly Schiele,

Hollie Ortis, FNP-C

Holly Schiele, CPNP

Physicians. The St. Amant
Clinic will provide better access
to basic, quality health care to
the growing population in the
eastern portion of Ascension
Parish. Medical services from
check-ups and physicals to
treatment of minor illnesses or
injuries and chronic conditions
such as diabetes and high blood
pressure will be provided to

CPNP, will staff the new

2,500 square foot clinic.
The opening of the St. Amant
Clinic signifies St. Elizabeth
Physicians continued
commitment to provide convenient access and exceptional care
to our growing community,
said John Fraiche, M.D.,
President of St. Elizabeth

children and adults of all ages.

The clinic will be open from
7 a.m. to 7 p.m. from Monday
through Thursday, and from
7 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Friday.
New patients are being
accepted. To schedule an
appointment,
call (225)647-8511 or
visit www.stepdocs.com.

St. Theresa of Avila Catholic Church in

Gonzales recently hosted a two-day Appreciation
Lunch for the Men and Women in Blue who
serve in Ascension Parish. Officers and staff from
the Ascension Parish Sheriffs Office and the
Gonzales City Police Department were invited to
come by between 11:00am and 1:00pm and were
treated to a delicious meal of crawfish etouffee
and all the trimmings. For those who were
unable to leave their posts, volunteers delivered
meals to them at their various work stations
throughout Ascension parish. As they departed
from the luncheon, honorees were given treat

30 Years of Top Notch Services

Braud Company Welding & Industrial Supplies

has been providing material to industries for over
thirty years. Our emphasis is on service.
We take pride in same day delivery and
customer service is always our number one
priority and we deliver ontime, everytime.
We have a well stocked walk-in sales counter
where you can purchase any quantity of an item.

Abrasives
Adhesives, Sealants & Tapes
Chemicals, Lubricants & Paints
Display Units
Electrical & Lighting
Electrical Tools
Fasteners, Clamps & Straps
Hand Tools
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Marking Tools
Material Handling
Measuring & Leveling Tools
MRO Supplies
Plumbing Equipment
Pneumatics
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Power Tools
Safety & Security
Welding Supplies

225.673.3370 Toll Free 888.269.4315 www.braudco.com

8

Knights of Columbus
Council #2657, the
Baton Rouge Marriot
for its preparation of
the food, and
volunteers young and
old from St. Theresa
parish ministries.
Everyone, hosts and
hostess, enjoyed
themselves so much
that a second event is
being planned around
Thanksgiving time.
bags prepared and decorated by
the VBS children.
All told some 300 meals
were served over the two-day
event. A big thank you to all of
the loving hands that came
together to host our law enforcement family including the

Congratulations to Scott Duplechen and his wife Kellie for winning

the Champ of Champs Cook Off at the Jambalaya Festival 2016.
Apparantley he was excited because he danced a jig across the floor.

10

set with colored diamonds and colored gemstones. Currently, many

three stone rings feature a white
diamond center stone flanked by
two colored diamond side stones
with the added dazzle of white
diamond pav.
The most popular fancy diamond
shapes for todays brides include
the elegant cushion, the square
Asscher or princess cut, and the
oval. But the classic round brilliant
diamond shape is still the leader.

New Bridal Jewelry

Designs Offer
Many Exciting
Options

Todays favorite colored diamond

is canary yellow with pink coming
on strong. When surrounded by
white diamonds, these make an
exciting and different engagement
ring. And many wedding rings are

Jewelry Doctor
Summertime
Jewelry Care
Hot summer days and nights are
often dangerous times for precious
jewelry. Pearls, diamonds, gold
rings and tennis bracelets are
frequently victims. Active sports,
perspiration, pool water, and high
humidity can dim the luster and
even cause the loss of valuable
gems due to weakened settings.
Here are some tips to protect your
jewelry this summer.

with Layne Gautreau

Perhaps the biggest news in bridal
jewelry is the prominence of three
major trends: three stone rings,
fancy diamond shapes, and rings

Diamonds are magnets for grease

which can reduce their
brilliance. Remove greasy residue
that builds up from skin oils, soap,
and airborne particles by soaking
diamonds regularly in alcohol.

featuring diamond center stones in

all shades of pink as well as deep
blue, or gray-blue surrounded by
round brilliant diamonds for
added dazzle.

11

Pearls should be worn touching

clothes not skin. Perspiration can
weaken silk cords. Wipe pearls
after every wearing. Avoid
chemicals. Put pearls on after hair
spray and perfume. Let us check to
see if restringing is needed.
Karat Gold can be damaged by
the chlorine in swimming pool
water as well as in many household
products. Always remove gold
jewelry before swimming or doing
housework.
Tennis bracelets containing many
gems are at risk if prongs are worn
or weakened by wear or rough
treatment. Now is the time to let
us do a safety check on your
bracelets, rings, and necklaces
before any gems are lost.

Id like to take this moment to

honor all those who put their
lives on the line to protect and
serve our community BR and
Gonzales Police Departments,
Ascension Parish Sheriffs Office,
State Police and all the local

firefighters and the supporting

administrative personnel that
work tirelessly to keep our
homes and streets safe.
My friend and APSO
Major Lee Anderson
He's always willing to
lend a helping hand!

Thank you for all you do!

My prayer for those who serve our community - Heavenly Father,

Thank you for Your love and Your presence.
Thank you that Your plans for us are good.
Thank you for all those who serve and protect our community.
I ask that you bless and protect all those that serve.
Loose your angels around them, and bless them in their going
out and their coming in.
Surround them with your favor like a shield, and give them
wisdom and discernment in all they do.
Give their families a peace that surpasses all understanding.
Lord, I pray our community honors those that serve, and I pray those
that serve know they are placed by God in positions of
authority to do Your will.
Thank you in advance for uniting our community.
In Jesus name, Amen.

7th District Volunteer Fire Department Left to right: Alden Gautreau, Rusty LeBlanc,
Dillon Broussard, Kristi Raines, Derrick Abney, Ricky Moran, Jr., and Michael Soniat

Classmate and hero,

Matthew Gerald

To my lefttLt. Jeff LeGrange and

Lt. Joey Meyers
Giving to the community
during 2013
Christmas Crusade

Nathaniel "Nat" Stephens - Fire Chief Geismar Volunteer Fire Department

12

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Knights of
Columbus
Hosts 41st
Annual
Firefighter
Appreciation
Banquet
Knights of Columbus Councils
within Ascension Parish honored firefighters throughout the
parish during its 41st Annual
Firefighter and 18th Junior
Firefighter Appreciation
Banquet Wednesday night at the
Black Bayou KC Hall.
The event was sponsored by the
Councils of St. Theresa of Avila
#2657, Fr. James Clement
#6389, St. Mark #8147 and St.
John the Evangelist #8324.
St. Amant Fire Department Fire
Chief & Constable James E.
LeBlanc served as the master of
ceremonies and the 4th Degree
Color Guard along with Boy
Scout Troop #69 led the pledge
of allegiance. Father Joseph

2016 7 officers loss their

lives
Out of these 15 deaths, nine
loss their lives to gun fire, one
by a heart attack, one by an
auto accident, four were killed
by vehicles striking them, two of
these four were vehicles driven
by drunk drivers.
We in the law enforcement
community, firefighting
community and Knights of
Columbus community are all
family, although our uniforms
may be a different style and vary
in color, our badges, shields and
stars are all pinned upon our
chest stated LeBlanc. Our
missions may vary but our goals
are the same, to Serve and
Protect our communities,
LeBlanc said.

Sonia from Holy Rosary

Catholic Church led the
invocation.
LeBlanc led the night off with a
complete dedication to the 15
Law Enforcement Agents that
have lost their lives in the past
two years in the State of
Louisiana.
Our hearts are filled with great
sadness after learning of a total
of 15 Louisiana Law Enforcement Officer Deaths in the past
two years, stated LeBlanc.
2015 8 officers loss their
lives

We know that evil roams these

streets and at any moment in
the course of performing our
duties the ultimate sacrifice
might be required of us in the
service to our community, for
Law Enforcement is not a job
but a calling and only a few will
make the decision to commit to
that calling to serve for some
will give all that they have.
MY FRIENDS, ALL LIVES
MATTER - LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS SHOULD
BE RESPECTED - If they
don't respond to that call for
help, or investigate that suspicious subject, or stop for that
stranded motorist, or rush to
that call of shots fired then

who will?
The Knights of Columbus is a
fraternal service organization
established in 1882, according
to Ricky Villar Sr., Grand
Knight of Council #6389.
We are so blessed to have the
Emergency Response Agencies
across our Parish, serving our
communities so well, stated
Grand Knight Villar.
Louisiana State Fire Marshal H.
Butch Browning served as the
guest speaker and spoke about
telling our story.
Browning explained to the
group, that Volunteer
Firefighters are becoming
harder and harder to find, and

that we should continue leading

the way of explaining to our
community residents, what it
means to continue to Serve and
Protect our Communities.

Lake, and Firefighter Shane

Rojas from St. Amant.
The area Grand Knights also
recognized Junior Firefighter
Brady Thibeau and Firefighter
Timothy Mayeau as their Junior
and Firefighter of the Year for
2016.
St. Amant Fire Department
Chaplain Ken Spivey closed out
the banquet with the benediction to all our firefighters and
law enforcement agents across
the State of Louisiana.
Lord, tonight and every night
we ask you to please be with all
The large crowd inside the
Black Bayou KC Hall also heard
from State Representative
Johnny Berthelot, Parish
Councilman Benny Johnson
and Ascension Parish Sheriffs
Office Chief Deputy Bobby
Weber, who all spoke about the
friendships and the unity we
treasurer in Ascension Parish
when it involves all our
Emergency Response Agencies
in Ascension Parish.
Each area fire department chose
one junior firefighter and one
firefighter of the year from their

departments to be honored at
the banquet. Winners included
Junior Nicolas Garon from
Sorrento, Junior Connolly
Carriere from 7th. Dist., Junior
Brady Thibeau from GalvezLake, Junior Blake Broussard
from St. Amant. Firefighter
Tarrell Milan from Fifth Ward,
Firefighter Timothy Mayeux
from Prairieville, Firefighter
David Williams (DW) from
Geismar, Firefighter Derrick
Abney from 7th. Dist., Firefighter Tristin Dominque from
Sorrento, Firefighter Bryce
Broussard from Gonzales, Firefighter Sam Colon from Galvez-

The Solid Choice in

Ascension Parish

Baton Rouge 225.761.1117 Prairieville 225.677.7177

Alexandria 318.442.6420 Bunkie 318.346.6900

15

law enforcement officers. Keep

them safe and free from harm.
They are our soldiers on the
front line of the battle against
evil. If one should fall this day wrap their family in your loving
arms. Surround them with Your
angels, loving family, friends,
neighbors and caring people to
comfort them. Ease their pain.
Help them to mourn well. In
Jesus' name and for Your Glory,
Amen.

Lorna C. Bourgeois and Dustin M. Delaune are very excited to

announce the newest artists to our arts collective. Our fall curriculum
has begun, and Drama Kids starts on September 12, so go online to
register or call 225-210-7404. We have classes Tuesday- Saturday, so
we are sure you can find a slot for yourself or your child to explore
Voice, Guitar, Photography, Visual Art or Theatre or Film Arts.
We invite all ages to take part!

The Hall for

All Occassions!

LA ARTS Newest Faculty Members:

Jennifer Esneault:
Photography Artist

Accommodates up
to 300 guest.

Photographs
have always
been a pretty
big deal in
Jennifers
family. In her
parents and
grandparents
houses, the
walls are
adorned with portraits and
albums and photo boxes line
the end tables and book shelves.
Jennifers mom taught her an
appreciation for those photos,
showing her that they connect
her to a time and place and a
generation beyond whats
right now.
When Jennifer was 9, she
asked Santa for a camera, and he
did not disappoint. Jennifer has
been a shutterbug ever since.
After spending some years in a
middle school classroom, she
left to pursue my artistic dream
of being a photographer.
Jennifer is excited to join with
the other artists at LA ARTS
and work with young people
looking for a way to flex their
creativity and make moments
last forever.

Full catering menu

Outdoor Pavillion
for Weddings
Space for seminars
Business meetings
Birthday parties

Call to set up an appointment

to view our venues.
225.677.5545

17425 Airline Hwy Prairieville

Catering Coordinator Jena Guidry

Tad Kivett:
Instrumental Artist:

16

Tad is a
resident of
Baton Rouge
LA. and a
native of
Gonzales LA.
He was
introduced to
music by his
father who gave him a ukulele at

the age of 5. He quickly took to

the instrument and entered a
talent show at the age of 6 and
won grand prize. He joined the
elementary school band at age
nine and learned to play the
saxophone. He founded the first
Jazz band at East Ascension
High School and arranged and
transposed all of the music.
At the age of 16 Tad began
teaching guitar lessons at the
local music store in Gonzales
LA. He graduated from LSU
with a bachelor of music degree.
During his college years he
learned to play many instruments and after graduating, he
remained teaching and
performing. Tad teaches
stringed instruments from
guitar to violin, woodwinds
and brass instruments.

Celeste Vellion:
Performing Artist in Residence
Celeste
Angelle
Veillon is an
award
winning
performer
residing in
the Greater
Baton Rouge area. For those
who have heard her sing or
witnessed her magic on the
stage, Celeste has won the
hearts of fans in theaters from
New Orleans to Baton Rouge
and arenas and venues from the
West Coast to the East Coast. In
addition to her stage career, she
maintains a solo performance
career by giving concerts,
recitals and one woman shows
and uses her angelic voice to
sing for funerals, weddings and
other sacred celebrations. Her
vocal versatility enables to her
to sing any genre of music.

17

YOUR ESTATE MATTERS

By Linda Melancon

No Good Deed
Goes Unpunished:
The (Often Unintentional)
Unauthorized Practice of Law
in Medicaid Planning
In previous months, weve
discussed Medicaid planning and
the importance of planning ahead
for the possibility of nursing
home care. But you dont want
to take planning advice from just
anyone. You need to make sure
the person putting your plan
together is someone who actually
has the knowledge and the
authority to come up with a
plan that will achieve your
objectives.
A determination of eligibility
for Medicaid is, at its core, a
financial determination. If the
applicants resources and income

are below specified levels, the

applicant qualifies for Medicaid.
However, qualifying for Medicaid
will often require that assets be
transferred or otherwise made
not countable to get a person
below the strict resource limits
that Medicaid imposes. That
kind of planning can often move
from the realm of financial advice
to the realm of legal advice. If a
non-attorney advisor crosses the
often murky line between the two
and engages in the unauthorized
practice of law, it can have disastrous consequences for everyone
involved.
But what is the unauthorized
practice of law? The criteria for
the unauthorized practice of law
varies from state to state. In the
broad sense, it can include giving
legal advice, representing
someone in court, and selecting
and preparing legal documents.
In a recent advisory opinion, the
Florida Supreme Court stated
that it is the unauthorized
practice of law for a non-lawyer
to participate in preparation of
personal service contracts
between Medicaid applicants
and caregivers, preparation and
execution of qualified income
trusts, and giving legal advice
regarding how to qualify for
Medicaid under Florida law.
So what would the
unauthorized practice of law look

like in real life? Uncle Cosmo, a

former financial advisor, offers to
help you with a few things to get
Mom qualified for Medicaid.
Hes seen a lot of documents,
hes worked with a lot of lawyers,
and he knows a thing or two
about Medicaid planning. You
might want to rethink that.
The penalties for unauthorized
practice of law apply to a family
member just like they would to
any third party advisor, and they
can be steep. For an individual in
Louisiana, the unauthorized
practice of law can carry a fine of
up to $1,000, up to two years i
mprisonment, or both. In
Louisiana, the unauthorized
practice of law specifically includes preparing documents that
purport to transfer title to
immovable property, which is
an issue that may come up
frequently in Medicaid planning.
Uncle Cosmo, offering to draw
up the donation of Moms
timberland in West Feliciana
Parish for you, for a lot less than
a lawyer will charge, may find
himself facing fines and jail time
for his troubles.
It is true that Uncle Cosmo
may not run afoul of the penalties
for unauthorized practice of law if
no one reports him. But another
very significant problem may arise
when that document Uncle
Cosmo drew up for you is called
into question. His well-intentioned efforts may cost you more
time and money to qualify for
Medicaid in the long run, or may
cost you the ability to qualify at
all. Suppose you get the

Medicaid application filled out

and submitted, and Medicaid
comes back and says, Mom has
too many assets, application
rejected. At this point, you go to
your attorney and learn that
Mom still owns that $500,000
piece of property in West
Feliciana Parish because the
donation Uncle Cosmo drafted is
invalid. And now Mom has
Alzheimers and lacks legal
capacity to sign a new donation
or a power of attorney letting you
act on her behalf. At this point,
you may be looking at a much
more involved and costly process,
such as interdiction, to obtain
authority to act on Moms behalf.
Further, once you qualify as
Moms curator, Medicaid
planning to preserve assets will
not be possible.
Planning for the possibility of
needing nursing home care can
be a crucial factor in helping
seniors meet the financial burden
of long-term care. If you are
looking into Medicaid for
yourself or a loved one, be sure to
seek advice from an attorney
qualified to provide that advice.
Not only may seeking advice from
your financial advisor, CPA, or
Uncle Cosmo constitute the
unauthorized practice of law, it
may well prevent you from being
able to protect assets at all.
Mrs. Melancon has engaged in the practice of law in Louisiana
for the past 17 years. The primary focus of her practice is estate
planning, special needs planning, elder law and probate. She is
also accredited by the VA to give advice regarding veterans
benefits. For more information, please contact her at
225-744-0027. You may also visit her website
at www.LegacyCenterLa.com

Cheer up
at the Pub

PELICAN PUB
6473 hwy 44 suite 120
Gonzales, La.
extra shot
FREE
with every daiquiri

225-257-4153

WE ARE THE SEAFOOD SPECIALIST

Open daily 2pm til

Oysters By the Sack

Fresh Shrimp
A Wide Variety
of Fish and Seafood
Snow Crabs
Turtle Meat

Ask for Sallys stuff crabs.

Youll love them.

Shuffleboard Table
Golden Tee

Non-Smoking

Doug & Sally

18

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK

Join Us For the

LSU and Saints
Football Games

lead. Once these new followers hear

the information on your podcast
theyll visit your website, blog, and
other platforms, in search of more
information.

4 Media Trends To
Know In 2016

Instagram:Visual stimulation has

somewhat taken over society, so
there is no shock as to why
Instagram is now one of the top
social media apps. Instagram is now
catering to the business world, by
offering paid advertising. This can be
done in a 3 second video or with a
carousel ad.

by Orhan Mc Millan
dezinsINTERACTIVE

Lets be honest consumers are no

longer only exposed to services or
new products simply from browsing
the internet or walking into a store.
We live in a world where we are
constantly consciously and
subconsciously being advertised to.
This is done through a variety of
devices and social media platforms.
This has lead to digital marketing
evolving to ensure that messages are
getting to the right people. Here are
4 trends of 2016, proving that digital
marketing is surely evolving.

Live Video Streaming: Mobile

technology as well as connectivity is

constantly improving leading to more

and more time being spent on
mobile devices. Consumers are
spending 162 minutes of their day on
mobile devices. Of those 162
minutes 86% of that time is being
spent on apps and 14% browsing.
With those numbers in mind many
businesses have been concentrating
more on advertising via mobile apps.
Lately theyve been experimenting
with live video streaming apps. This is
a good platform for businesses to
host Q&As. Which is a great way not
only to communicate with your
audience but also have them
communicate with you.

19

Pinterest: Like many other social

media platforms after noticing its
popularity started cashing in on it by
catering to businesses in some way
or another. Though we may not all be
fully used to buyable pins, Pinterest is
giving us more. They are now
allowing brands to target a specific
person based on their interests.

Podcast: Though podcast have been

in existence for years now it wasnt
until 2015 that podcast listeners
grew significantly all over the world.
This growth is simply because
technology has finally caught up with
the medium. Mobile apps such as
iTunes and Stitcher for android allow
users to subscribe and sync new
podcast directly to their phone.
Podcast are great for amplifying the
personality of you or your business.
It also allows for your audience to
listen while multitasking. A good
podcast will build a following. For
every new follower you have a new

Ninety percent of information

transmitted to the brain is visual.
Visuals also are processed 60,000
times faster than plain text in the
brain. All four of the above trends
have a visual aspect to them, which
explains why all are trending. We
dont want to lose site of the role
written content plays but we most
definitely want to always make sure
that whatever were putting out
there is visually appealing. Draw
them in with the visuals and keep
them there with interesting content.

Microscopes
in Dentistry

clearly see all the areas within

that tiny space and remove
debris until the root canal area
is truly clean. If any debris or
nerve tissue is left behind in
those canals, the root canal
will not work and the tooth
will either have to be retreated
or extracted.

Because Bad
Things Come in
Small Packages
By Calvin Bessonet, DDS,FAGD

Precision is
Perfection

Dr.Bessonet is among only

1% of dentists in the world who
use a surgical microscope in
his practice.

Seeing is Succeeding
The human mouth isn't a very
big place. And the structures
within your mouth that are of
concern are even smaller.
Furthermore, most of the
things that affect your oral
health are just plain tiny.
Sometimes the causes of
problems are invisible to the
naked eye. Areas of decay on
the teeth start small, so if your
dentist uses a microscope he can
find and treat the decay with a
small filling that will not only be
invisible, but will preserve the
maximum amount of tooth
structure ensuring the health
and stability of that tooth. It is
very common for teeth with
large fillings to develop cracks

in them. If the cracks go

unnoticed by your dentist, they
will eventually result in the need
for root canals. Sometimes, if
the crack progresses too far
before treatment, the tooth will
become hopeless and have to be
removed. The key to
conservative treatment is
finding and treating the
problems early, but you cant
treat what you cant see! And
the better your dentist can see
these things, the better work
he'll be able to do for
you-whether its preventive,
restorative, or cosmetic.

Bigger is Better
That's exactly why Dr. Bessonet
uses a microscope in so many of
his cases. Consider a root canal
situation, for example. Thorough cleaning out of debris and
decay in tooth itself is absolutely critical to the
success of the treatment, and to
the long-term health of the
patient. The task in such a case
is to completely clean out all the
harmful Bacteria in the root
canal system that is made up of
multiple, tiny canals within the
roots that are about the size of
pencil lead sometimes. Using a
high-powered, illuminated
dental microscope, he can

Another advantage of
microscope use is that it
enables Dr. Bessonet to
perform restorative and
cosmetic procedures with
unbeatable precision. Teeth
surfaces and areas needing
repair are seen for what they
really are, so that materials and
methods can be chosen
accordingly. There's nothing
left to guesswork or chance.
And the result of this attention
to detail is accuracy of fit,
beautiful shaping, and a perfect
smile. Many times the key to
successful and long lasting
cosmetic treatment is preserving
as much enamel as possible.
By using a microscope,
Dr. Bessonet can be ultra
conservative in the way he
shapes the teeth, ensuring
beautiful, stable results.

HEALTHY
SMILES FOR
THE WHOLE
FAMILY
EMERGENCIES WELCOME
IV Sedation
Invisalign Certified
Laser-Assisted Decay Detection
Porcelain Veneers
Implants
Wisdom Teeth

Ascension
PREMIER DENTAL

Calvin G. Bessonet, DDS, FAGD

13375 Hwy 73, Suite 1 Geismar, LA 70734 Call:

20

225.673.6910 www. AscensionDentist.com

DUTCHTOWN PRIMARY SCHOOL SCHEDULE SPONSORED BY DUTCHTOWN PHYSICAL THERAPY

Welcome Back to Dutchtown Primary Eagles!

We are excited to SOAR into a new year!

Sandra Alfred
Assistant Principal

Patricia S. Espinoza, M.Ed.

Principal

Welcome Back to
Dutchtown Primary Eagles!
We are excited to SOAR
into a new year!
Parents, if you have never
registered for black board
please do that this year, so
that you can follow your
Eagles progress. Simply
write a note to your childs
home room teacher and we
will send the information
home!
Mark your calendar for
these important dates
EARLY DISMISSALS**

September 8, 2016 / 1:30

September 9, 2016 /
(Staff Dev Day)
NO SCHOOL FOR STUDENTS

October 18, 2016 / 1:30

November 15, 2016 / 1:30
November 18, 2016 / 1:30
December 6, 2016 /1:30
December 21, 2016 / 1:30
**Subject to change

January 12, 2017 / 1:30

January 13, 2017 /
(Staff Dev Day)
NO SCHOOL FOR STUDENTS

February 7, 2017 / 1:30

March 7, 2017 / 1:30
May 9, 2017 / 1:30
May 23, 2017 / 2:30
May 24, 2017 / 1:30
May 25, 2017 / 12:30
(Last Day for Students)

Holidays
September 5, 2016

Labor Day

October 10 and 11, 2016

Fall Break

November 21-25, 2016

Thanksgiving Holidays

November 8, 2016

Election Day

December 22, 2016-January 4, 2017

Christmas Holidays

January 16, 2017

Martin Luther King, Jrs

Birthday

February 27-28 & March 1, 2017

Mardi Gras

April 13-21, 2017

Easter Holidays

"Your Community Physical Therapy

Provider" for 9 years.

Stephen Jackson, PT, DPT

(225) 744-3631 fax (225) 744-3647

DUTCHTOWN PHYSICAL THERAPY 13053 HIGHWAY 73, SUITE B GEISMAR, LOUISIANA 70734
21

Monday October 10th

Pelican Point - Links Course
2016 EA vs STA RYDER CUP
SHOOT OUT GOLF TOURNAMENT
All Proceeds Will Benefit
EA & St. Amant High Schools
For more information on the event,
call James E. LeBlanc at (225) 445-5766, Don Hanna at (225) 802-5450,
Derek J. LeBlanc at (225) 313-5775, or Tommy Trahan at (225) 572-2426.
You can also contact Sherri Jenkins at (225) 644-4820.

For More Information Contact:

Bret Hughes (EA) 571.0807
bret@hughesinsurance.org
Camile Trabeau (STA) 573-2530
camjoy@eatel.net
Format.2 Man Team/ Best Ball or Scramble/ Match Play
Lunch and Registration.11:00 AM
Tee Time.12:00 PM Shotgun Start
Mulligans.$10.00 Each Player, 1 Per Player
Handicap Slots.Team captains will determine matches within slots.
Each match is worth 3 points, 1 for the front 9, 1 for the back 9 and
1 for the total.
Awards Ceremony and Meal Immediately Following (Beverages on Course)
Ryder Cup Entry Fee.$100.00 per player
Hole Sponsorship for Golf Tournament.$100.00 donation
Forms can be dropped off to Loyson Portas office or Hughes Insurance or mailed
to Shoutout, 510 S. Burnside Ave., Ste. C, Gonzales, LA 70737
Can also Fax Form to 644-4940 or email it to bret@hughesinsurance.org
Player____________________ HCap_____ Team(EA/STA)_____
Cell_______________ Email____________________________

22

23

Skipper a few years younger

packages which you can get details on
our website.
Walking into The Country Kitchen
is like strolling into a real country
home. Antiques and collectibles adorn
the walls. I just love seeing patrons
showing their grandkids mementos
from their own childhood and hearing
their stories. Ive added items from my
own childhood memorabilia to the
collection. It is a real joy having a
place to showcase these items and
watch others share a trip down
The Country Kitchen restaurant in
Gonzales is the epitome of southern
hospitality and homestyle cooking.
For 30 years weve been serving up
southern favorites buffet style like fried
chicken, red beans, meatloaf, seafood
gumbo, cornbread dressing and fried
chicken livers. Therestaurant first
opened its doors on Jan 1 st of 1986
and we enjoy our town favorite
status to this day. The place just
keeps filling up duringthe three hour
lunch rush and we couldnt be
happier. We recently expanded our
hours of operation to include Friday
night dinner service.The Country
Kitchen is grateful to our longtime
patrons for making our wide selection
of comfort food offerings a success for
so many years. Its great to get new
customers in but nothing beats seeing
the same familiar faces day after day, as
well as watching families come
year after year and seeing their kids
grow up. says owner SkipperMcInnis.
The building that houses Country
Kitchen and the Horn of Plenty next

Skipper McInnis
door has been around for over 70
years. The structure was originally a
feed and hardware store, then a
furniture store before becoming the
notable homestyle buffet restaurant it
is today. When Country Kitchen
original owners, Jean and Jerry
Cannon, first made the decision to go
into the restaurant business back in
1985, they didnt know much about
it. They stuck to the principles of good
customer service coupled with great

Kimberly Moran, Jana Capiel and Lori Carmouche

food and managed

to find undisputed
success. In 2001,
Skipper McInnis
took over as owner
and continued the
tradition of great
recipes and rustic
atmosphere coupled
with great customer
service. Skipper put
a lot of personal
effort into remodeling the inside and
outside of the
building over the
last few years. The
This is Chicken is Country Style
authentic country
feel has been maintained while accessibility and overall
atmosphere have been enhanced.
Skippers oldest daughter, Amy
Shamburger, recently stepped in
helping to manage the store. I grew
up in the restaurant business and I
love the fast pace. Country Kitchen
has so much character and charm, its
been a joy to be part of its
growth. Im currently
working to establish new offerings like our banquet

Original owners
Jean and
Jerry Cannon
decided to go in to
the restaurant
business in 1985.

Skippers brother follows in the family footsteps

peach cobbler, and banana pudding with custard. We have a softserve

ice cream machine that
makes the perfect topping
for our peach cobbler!
On Sundays we feature
our biggest family favorite
dessert, apple crunch.
The Country Kitchen
serves our signature fried
chicken everyday, but our
other dish offerings vary
daily. If youd like to
know what else were
cooking up each day feel
free to check our weekly
menus on our website at
CountryKitchenGonzales.com . Our lunch
hours are 11am to 2PM
Sunday through Friday. We open for
dinner on Friday nights from 5:30pm
until 8:30pm and for a limited time
youll find BBQ short ribs!
Like the Country Kitchen on
Facebook and follow them to learn

Skipper with daughter Amy

memory lane says Ginger McInnis,
Skippers wife and owner of Gingers
Attic in the front of the store. Upon
entering the Country Kitchen you get
a warm welcome by one of our
friendly staff eager to get you seated
quickly. Two of our wait staff, Lori
Carmouche and Jana Capiel,
are the daughters of the
original owners and have been
serving customers here since
the doors opened over 30
years ago. Our two main food
bars serve up an average of 18
different dishes a day. We offer
a full salad bar with a
selection of seven different
dressings and two premade
salads. Everyones favorite is
our elaborate dessert bar.
Everything is homemade so be
sure to save room for bread
pudding with rum sauce,
Pete Fountain & Skipper

Ginger McInnis is owner of Gingers Attic in the front of the restaurant

about promotional dishes and enter to
serving the Gonzales community
win the weekly drawings for a Free
for many more years!
Meal for 4! We look forward to

Sunday - Friday 11am-2pm

Friday Nights! 5:30pm-8:30pm

615 East Ascension St, Gonzales 644-4661

Congratulations to the 2017 Seniors and

Students Returning to Classes

CountryKitchenGonzales.com

WHAT EVER YOU NEED WE CAN HELP

License Plates

IN OUR OFFICE

Duplicate Titles
printed overnight

IN OUR OFFICE

REGISTRATION
RENEWALS/LICENSE
PLATES SURRENDERED
Personalized & Specialty
Plates ALL PROCESSED

IN OUR OFFICE

Driver's License & ID

CARD Renewals
Handicap ID's & Plates

ALL PROCESSED IN
OUR OFFICE

Wildlife & Fisheries

Processing for
Boats/Motors

ALL TYPES OF
NOTARY SERVICES:

Bill of Sale Donations

Affidavits Wills Power of
Attorneys Successions
Real Estate Transactions
Provisional Custody
Business Sales
LLC & INC

AND MUCH MORE...

Whatever Your Needs,

We Can Probably Help!
Give Our Friendly
Staff a Call

TAGS & TITLES, LLC

Jamie FredericBraud PTA/Notary

644-1512

11296 HWY. 431, ST. AMANT, LA 70774

Parish Readies for Lift Off

of 2016 Ascension Hot Air
Balloon Festival Sept. 23-24
Parish President Kenny Matassa
and the Ascension Festivals and
Cultural Council, Inc. announced this week all systems
are go for lift off of the 2016
Ascension Hot Air Balloon
Festival at Lamar-Dixon Expo
Center on Sept. 23-24.

Each night after a day of festival

attractions, more than 30 hot
air balloons and three special
shape balloons will light up the
September sky at the expo
centers large green space
providing the young, and
young at heart, visual sensations
followed by majestic
fireworks shows.
Here we are, right around the

corner from another highly

anticipated Ascension Hot Air
Balloon Festival, said President
Matassa. And again the balloon
committee has put together a
great lineup of live music,
entertainment, food and many
attractions for the festival-goer
of all ages.
Festival admission each day is
$5 for ages 13-plus, and free
for children 12 and under.
Organizers are encouraging
patrons to bring their own lawn
chairs. Ice chests, pets, bicycles,
weapons, illegal substances and
personal motorized vehicles are
prohibited. Bags, backpacks,
strollers and wagons may be
subject to security checks for

your safety.
On Friday, Sept. 23 gates will
open at 4 p.m. and close at 10

p.m. Gates will reopen Saturday

at noon and close at 10 p.m.
Along with the balloon glows,

Families enjoyed the numerous carnival rides at last years Ascension Hot Air Balloon Festival.
The 2016 Ascension Hot Air Balloon Festival is set for Sept. 23 and 24 at Lamar-Dixon
Expo Center.

tethered rides will be offered

pending safe weather conditions.
Balloon officials are reminding
all patrons that windy conditions
may warrant suspension of both.

Ambeau said hot air balloon

tethered rides will be available
for $20 per adult (13 and over)
and $10 for children (12 and
under).

Carnival rides will open on

Friday from 4 p.m. till 10 p.m.
and on Saturday from noon till
10 p.m. Ride bracelets will be
available for $25 on Friday
from 5 p.m. till 10 p.m., and
$25 from noon till 10 p.m.
on Saturday.

Ambeau said this years event

will also include a Balloon
Museum display located in the
air-conditioned 4-H Building
conference rooms/lobby.

This year, the Childrens Village

will feature face painting,
fingerprinting, a fire safety
house, a magician and stilt
walker. Kids will also get to pet
animals at the Petting Zoo
in the village.
Flight Operations Chief Robert

The Hall for

All Occassions!
Accommodates up
to 300 guest.

Powered Parachute
Displays/Flights will take place
at the green space field on
Saturday. The display will be
from noon till 4 p.m. followed
by flights from 5 p.m. till
6:30 p.m.
A new feature this year is the
addition of Kewl Kites which are
extra-large kites in exciting and
amazing shapes. Kewl Kites will

Full catering menu

Outdoor Pavillion
for Weddings
Space for seminars
Business meetings
Birthday parties

Call to set up an appointment

to view our venues.
225.677.5545

17425 Airline Hwy Prairieville

Catering Coordinator Jena Guidry

ClawD the Crazy Crab strode across the Lamar-Dixon Expo Center green space during last years
Ascension Hot Air Balloon Festival. Festival organizers said this years event will include three
special shape balloons and more than 30 hot air balloons.

27

fly on Friday and Saturday

afternoons.
Live blues, and rhythm and
blues music will grace the
Mockler stage both nights.
Friday night, Louisiana Music
Hall of Fame alum and
multiple-Grammy nominated
artist Kenny Neal and the Neal
Family Band will play an all
evening performance on Friday
from 5 p.m. till 10 p.m.
On Saturday blues rock power
trio Don Berry and Rockin
Horse will kick off the days
music at 4 p.m., followed by
regional favorites Kenny Acosta
and the House Reckers at 6
p.m.
Saturdays headliner, The Chris
Duarte Group from Austin,
Texas, will take to the stage
from 8 p.m. to 10 p.m. Duarte
won Best New Talent in
Guitar Player Magazines 1995
Readers Poll. He also finished
fourth in the magazines Best
Blues Guitarist category that
year behind legends Eric
Clapton, Buddy Guy and
B.B. King.

This year the Barbecue

Competition will be open to all
teams. It will take place on
Saturday in Barn 7 from 8 a.m.
till 5 p.m. Entry forms are
available on the links below.
Rodney Dupuy, of Cajun Livin
and Cookin television show is
organizing the barbecue
competition, along with local
businessman/realtor and
volunteer activist Ken Firmin.
The Classic Car Show will again
feature the finest motor vehicles
from the regional area. The
show will be held in the air
conditioned 4-H Building on
Saturday from 9:30 a.m. till 4
p.m. Entry forms are available
on the links below. Ascension
Parish Assessor Mert Smiley,
himself a car and motorcycle
enthusiast, is chairing this
years car show.
Steinhauer Productions will
hold their Arts and Crafts Show
in the Trademart Building on
both days of the festival.
For more information about the
2016 Ascension Hot Air
Balloon Festival and entry

28

forms, visit http://ascensionballooning.com/ or

https://www.facebook.com/ascensionhotairballoonfestival.
Organizers said the websites

event schedule is being

confirmed and will be up
shortly.
For additional information you
may call Martin McConnell at
(225) 450-1035.

Living On The Edge

A young man told me not

allow for a better view of the

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long ago that he liked living on

surroundings. It doesn't matter

the edge because it's exciting

if you're hunting ducks, deer,

and it keeps you feeling young.

squirrels, rabbits, turkeys or

I agree, believe me I've been

quail you'll find that you will be

there. For the most of it I'm

spending a lot of time on the

done with living on the edge,

edge of something.

but that depends on how you

In most cases fish are no

define that term. I actually do

different than humans and ani-

spend a lot of time on the edge

mals. They're attracted to these

of something. As a matter of

areas for the same reasons. Most

fact, I live on the edge of a road.

fish are caught on the edge of a

Highway 42. Imagine that.

tree line, a grass line, a

Truth is, many humans, fish and

structure, a drop off, or where

wildlife are attracted to edges.

different currents lines are

Think about it. Most of us live

formed, even out in the

on the edge of a road, river,

deep blue sea.

field, lake or wooded area.

on the edge days are behind me,

that most snake encounters take

I look forward to those that are

place along different terrain

yet to come. I'm sure I'll see

changes such as fences, roads,

some of you there sooner or

swamps, ridges, water and forest

later, because we're all attracted

edges. This past hunting season

to those edges.....

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portable car wash and detail service.

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Till Next Time,

sightings on the edge of one

"Don't Fall Off",

Professional Reliable Experienced

fishermen spend a lot of time on

edges because much of the

225-644-7466 Ascension 225-924-7096 Baton Rouge

Website www.BeebesPest.com

WE COME TO YOU!

proved that statement to be true

thing or another. We hunters or

Local Licensed Insured Bonded

Although some of my living

My dad told me long ago

again with most of my snake

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game or fish that we pursue are

also attracted to edges. Most

Ascension Outdoors Air Times

deer are on the edge of swamps,

THE PELICAN - CHANNEL 113

SAT. - 9:00 - A.M.
SUN. - 7:30 - P.M.
MON. - 9:00 - P.M.

fields, ridges, roads, pipelines

and areas where new forest
meets old forest. These
separations of terrain often

EATEL - CHANNEL 4
SAT. - 6:30 A.M. & 1:30 P.M.
SUN. - 1:30 P.M.
WED. - 10:00 P.M.
FRI. - 8 - P.M.
IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED IN
ADVERTIZING PLEASE CALL
225-485-7997

29

Make an appointment by
calling Gucci at 504.417.5633

And NowThe Rest of the Story

by Bill Delaune
If you strictly adhere to the
Linus Van Pelt philosophy of
not discussing religion, politics
or the Great Pumpkin in mixed
company-then the most
prominent question heard
around town these days is, Are
you ready for some football?
Well, if youre expecting the
stock Man, I cant wait
answer from me, then think
again, Pigskin.
I have been perfectly content
watching USA Olympians like
the sabre fencer with the great
American name Ibtihaj
Muhammed parry and thrust
her way to a first round victory.
Now I do wonder how a
country that invented beach
volleyball-that would be our
California beach boys-can lose
to Austria-a land-locked country
with no coastline but maybe the
Europeans watched a lot of
Beach Blanket Bingo movies
growing up.
And how was Baton Rouges
own Meghan OLeary to know
when she told a local radio host,
Id row through excrement to
get to the Olympics, that she
might just get her wish in the
contaminated waters of Rio.
But seriously, Michael Phelps,
Katie Ledecky, and the US
swimmers and the womens
gymnastics team have provided
enough highlights to fill several
reels even though the mens
gym team slipped off more
equipment than kids at a
greased pole contest.
Now, there is one thing Ive
noticed about televisions
coverage of the Olympics.
Every individual-whether
he/she revels in the thrill of
victory or wallows in the
agony of defeat-has a touching
story line.
I dont care if hes the oldest
Olympian with the youngest
baby to ever win gold or if shes
the first swimmer to win the
breast stroke before actually
developing any breasts-everybody has a breaking news
story.
Okay, football fans, back to
you. If I apply this journalistic

the rights to their nickname

against their namesake from the
Plains. Actually, Auburn fans
would rather cheer War
Eagle!-one theory being that
the Saxon Indians warriors
would yell War Eagle when
the buzzards started circling
their dead victims.
The scavengers may be out
early in this contest if Auburn
doesnt tackle any better than
they did last year.

technique to LSUs upcoming

football season-and throw in a
little Don King/Ali promotional jive (Think Thrilla in
Manilla.), let see if we can
get some of those water polo
fanatics fired up about
football
1. WisconsinForget that stale angle
about LSU stealing defensive
coordinator Dave Aranda (Does
he have a day veranda at
home?) from the Badgers.
Call this one the Cheese and
Wine Classic featuring two
universities who perennially
rank in the top ten in lists of
party schools, alcohol
consumption per capita and
underage drinking. Sure its
probably more of a Chips and
Beer thing but we are in the
dairy state and the wine gives
the illusion that fans have some
semblance of class.
LSUs top draft picks
pour it on late and the Tigers
come out a-head in front of
Lambeaus Cheese Heads.
2. Jacksonville State
GamecocksA breather you say? Does
anybody else remember a

poultry-nicknamed team
called the Coastal Carolina
Chanticleers at the Box last
spring? It wasnt just Chicken
Little that thought the sky was
falling back then.
In a game billed as Rooster
Revenge, the Tigers prove
these Cocks arent quite
that hard.
3. Mississippi StateIn the first of several SEC
stops on the Daks Not Back?
tour, State begins life without
massive quarterback Dak
Prescott. Though it seems like
he was there forever, Bulldog
fans will assure you he was only
in school a couple of termsthey just happen to be Bushs
and Obamas.
To paraphrase former State
defensive tackle and great
American philosopher Jerry
Clower, Trying to tackle
Leonard Fournette is like
squeezing a watermelon seed.
Fournette slips away for several
long runs as LSU silences the
Cowbells.
4. AuburnIn the Which Tiger Will
Earn His Stripes? showdown,
the Bayou Bengals must defend

30

5. MissouriIf ever there was a game that

called for misdirection, its this
East Is East and West Is East
matchup. You see, Old Mizzou
plays in the Eastern Division of
the SEC despite being one of
the westernmost locations.
The only situation more
geographically confusing was
when the New Orleans Pop
Festival was held at the Baton
Rouge International Speedway
in downtown Prairieville and
that was in 1969 when we had
an excuse. We were all stoned.
The solution is elementary,
my dear Watson Brown. Move
Missouri and Vanderbilt to the
West, Alabama and Auburn to
the East and you havent
disturbed their precious Iron
Bowl or, even more holy to hear
some talk, Bama-Tennessee on
the third Saturday of October.
Of course, it wont happen because it makes too much sense
and the league office is in-all
together now-Birmingham!
In the meantime, LSU tames
another group of toothless
Tigers-even if Mike doesnt
make an appearance.
6. FloridaThe Which D.B.U. Do
You Be? battle to settle once
and for all which school gets
to call itself Defensive Back
University.
The halftime show features
music by the Doobie Brothers
and legendary hijacker D.B.
Cooper parachutes into the
stadium, throwing $100 bills to
the crowd.
LSUs Tre Davious Whites

interception saves the game and

the Tigers retain the rights to
the D.B.U. title.
7. Southern MissIn this Remembering
Curley clash, the two teams
join forces to honor Curley
Hallman who coached at USM
before coming to LSU in 1991.
Hallman was one of the most
successful coaches in Eagle
history-thanks in a large part to
a lightly-recruited quarterback
from Kiln named Brett Favre.
Curleys career at LSU didnt
leave anybody Brettless and
his 1994 squad even lost to
Southern Miss before one of the
smallest crowds in Tiger
Stadium history. There wont
be many left in their seats after
the half this year except those of
us who want see the unfortunate Eagle kicker who will lose
his job to St. Amants Briggs
Bourgeois next season.
8. MississippiPity poor Ole Miss. They
cant play Dixie anymore,
they cant wave Rebel flags and
now, after one of their best
seasons, they get blindsided by
the NCAA for multiple

violations. Thus this contest

gets labeled the Freeze Out
rivalry to commemorate Coach
Hugh Freezes rapid rise to
fame in Oxford and his
impending decline.
LSU helps hasten his
departure with a game-winning
89-yard punt return in the
fourth quarter by Fournettereminiscent of the Tigers last
Heisman winner Billy Cannon.
9. AlabamaNick Saban claimed his two
players who were caught in a
West Monroe park at 3 a.m.
with drugs and a stolen gun
were just victims of some
disgruntled LSU fans.
A sold-out stadium of not-sodisgruntled fans watch
deliriously as the Tigers upset
the number one Tide in the
Just Once bloodletting.
James Ingram belts out the
theme song as long-suffering
LSU patrons have their prayers
to beat Bama just once are
answered.
10. ArkansasNew First Laddie and former
governor Bill Clinton throws
out the first ball in the Bouree

Bowl. When asked why this

title was chosen instead of the
Battle for the Boot, the
ever-smiling Clinton said,
If you bouree, you have
No Trump.
Alas, despite the Presidential
victory by Arkansass native
son-oops, daughter-its just not
in the cards of the Hogs this
year as LSU holds all the aces.
11. South AlabamaSince Halloween weekend is
now an open date and since no
game has honored our Olympic
stars, this final home contest
serves a dual purpose. Dubbed
as the Night of Olympic
Heroes, fans come in costume
as their favorite Olympian.
And in order to include the
University of South Alabama
visitors, they are able to chant
U-S-A, U-S-A to honor
their team and the costumed
medalists.
Costume suggestions may
include Phelps, Ledecki or
any female beach volleyball
participant.
Couples may consider Bruce
and Caitlyn Jenner.
Unfortunately for the Jags,
Fournette comes as Usain Bolt

and sprints to several Purple and

Gold medals.
12. Texas A&MThe Aggies saved Les Miless
job last year with a lackluster
performance so they wouldnt
dream of ruining his teams
perfect season in this More
for Les finale.
The only glitch in the entire
evening comes in the post-game
press conference when the riddle-speaking Miles attempt to
explain what Hullabaloo, Caneck! Caneck! means in the
Aggie fight song.
So there you have it-a fearless
forecast of the regular season.
Ill keep for post-season picks to
myself for now so that the odds
in Vegas dont get driven down.
But I will give you one
hint-LSU will play a meaningful
game against Miless alma
mater.
In the meantime, my new
assignment is to come up with a
catchy story line to promote
the highly-anticipated TulaneWake Forest matchup on
September 1.
Talk about Mission
Impossible.

Hey Dr. Rob,

The cat wont stop
licking me.

Back to School
We Can Erase Your
Back to School Worries.

But it feels
so good.

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33

PUBLISHERS NOTE: It was great seeing everyone. I took many photos and tried to put as many different people in the magazine as possible. However there
were a number of photos that came out blurry and some folks had weird facial expessions so I did not run those photos to avoid embarassing anyone.

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HAI KARATE ... AUG. 26TH

with Kellie

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Useless Random Facts

DJ MUSIC & KARAOKE

Saturday mail deliver y in Canada was eliminated by

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In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for

most trips of less than 50 minutes!

Your body is creating and killing 15 million

red blood cells per second!

There is one slot machine in Las Vegas for

ever y eight inhabitants!

Its illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while

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Except for the windmills in Ireland!

Over 10,000 birds a year die from

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In the White House, there are 13,092 knives,

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suicide on the Golden Gate Bridge since 1994.

While children of identical twins are legally first

cousins, genetically, they are actually half siblings.

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$2.75 DOMESTIC LONGNECKS!"

Thoughts from Bully

ROC K Y
M O UN TAI N
HI G H
Running with Steve
This month I visited my sister
Janet in Colorado. Traveling
alone was peaceful and relaxing.
Get to the airport when I think
I should. No girl nagging. I
eased into the terminal only to
find the long term parking lot
FULL. Oh crap. Now I had to
hustle across the street to a
Park-N-Fly lot. Fortunately
my timing was perfect. After
catching a shuttle and going
through security I arrived at the
gate as the last person boarding
the plane. Girl nagging might
have helped.
I arrived in Colorado and my
vacation began. My nephew
Steve had plans for me the very
first night. We had tickets to see
Joe Bonamasa at Red Rocks.
Bonamasa is a 39 year old
rocker born 40 years too late. I
had heard of Red Rocks and its
wonderful auditorium in the
mountains. We left early to park
as close as possible however I
had been warned that a walk
will be involved.
We arrived early enough to
get a parking location and got
out and began to walk. Right
off Steve asked, Uncle Mike
we can stop anytime you need. I
told him Id be just fine. I play
golf, I can walk. Little did I
know it wasnt a walk it was a
mountain side trail marathon
that my old butt wasnt ready

for. We finally hit black top

again and the still had a
constant upgrade that
eventually I had to swallow my
pride and declare, I have to
stop. My hind end muscles
were in a spasm state of mind
and my legs were one twitch
away from a Charlie Horse
cramp.
We made it to our seat after
3 rest stops and a frisking for
weapons at the gate. I looked
out from this mountain side and
I was so high up the mountain,
I looked out over the valley and
could see lightning strike below
because we were higher than
the clouds. We were so high up
if God broke wind Id know it.
All-in-all Joe rocked and I
started my Rocky Mountain
High off with a bang.
Let me declare their was no
partaking of any legal
substances during my entire
trip. I was truly Rocky
Mountain High.

rubber duck with a bikini top

on the faucet blocking the knob
to allow the shower to work. I
eventually pulled this duck off
only to find the hat on the duck
could have been lifted to pull
the shower knob.
After a good washing with
yellow duck soap and baby
shampoo I made it to bed. I
had a tee time to play golf the
next morning and I was excited
to play a course with plush
fairways and perfect greens.
However during my slubber I
started dreaming of my golf
game in Colorado. It was a cool
breeze with low humidity when
a flock of rubber ducks flew
over sounding like Canadian
geese. I then walked to the tee
box where there were hundreds
of rubber duck dropping
covering it. It was like yellow
Cheetos everywhere and stuck
to my shoe. I woke from my
dream and played golf only to
find real Canadian geese
droppings stuck to my shoe.

Rubber Ducks Can

Be Spooky

Being the Good

Uncle has its
Advantages

We made it home late and I

needed to take a shower. While
using the visitors bathroom I
was bombarded with rubber
ducks everywhere.
The tooth
brush holder,
rubber duck. The
hand lotion
dispenser, rubber
duck. I looked on
the wall and there
was a painting I
did 25 years ago
for a Rubber
Duck fundraiser.
It was time to
get in the shower
and dont you
know, there was a

Being a Uncle has its

advantages. You can step up and
watch the kids at a restaurant by
taking them outside while the
parents have time to eat.
Your family brings you to see
major league baseball game and
wear Braves memorabilia to
support me and the worst team
in baseball because I am a big
Braves fan. In reality their team
is the San Fransisco Giants, a
team that has a chance to make
the playoffs.
The highlight of the game
was to see D. J. LeMayeux play
for the Rockies. He came to the
plate and I started yelling,
Tiger Bait,Tiger Bait!.Fans
looked around at my chant and

36

I spoke up and said, He is an

LSU Tiger, You are welcome. I
made friends and before the end
of the game I had 12 or 14 fans
chanting, Tiger Bait, Tiger
Bait.
Once the game was over ole
Uncle Mike stepped up an took
Addie, the tiny tornado, under
his wing and calmed her down
by showing her the bus that was
coming to pick us up. You see,
she gets excited about seeing
and getting on the bus. It was
fine with me to hold her at this
time because she was so
mesmerized she was calm and
manageable. Now being on the
bus no one knew the chili bean
cheese nacho cheese chips were
kicking in and I was having a
problem not breaking wind.
When you hold a baby in

diapers it is easy to not get the

evil eye from the folks around
you when you can blame it on
the baby. Just being a good
uncle. Just Saying.

Millie, My Little
Helper
When I visit I generally have a
couple of honey do projects
for her. This year I was asked to
paint and put an outdoor yard
bench together known as,
Millies bench. Millie and I

started doing this project with

her as the helper but it didnt
take long for this strong
minded, strong willed 4 year old
to realize I was the helper. I did
have the opportunity to explain
to her some simple terms us
adults use. She is so inquisitive
you have to explain new words
such as flush and torc. Not an
easy task. We were getting down
to the last bolt and nut to finish
the project when she was in a
hurry so she could watch
cartoons. I had to point out
there was day light between the
bolt and the wood and needed

to be tighten more. She looked

at me in disbelief pointing out,
Its night time Uncle Mike,
what are you thinking?

Fat Tire Beer

I played golf with Steve on his
birthday. After some coaxing I
encouraged him to enjoy a beer,
while playing golf on his
birthday, my treat. He ordered
several Fat Tire Beer.
I have been in advertising for
35 years and know name
recognition is very important. I

just let it slide with thoughts no

body in there right mind would
drink such a stupidly named
beer. Especially in Louisiana.
I have had a fat lip. I have a fat
belly. Im not stupid enough to
say Ive had a fat girl friend but
I can say I have never had a
Fat Tire beer.
Since I returned home I was
at the bar at Pelican Point when
a young guy ordered a Fat Tire
Beer. I couldnt believe it. Then
I went to Sammys for a break
when a guy ordered a Fat Tire
Beer. Whats the world
coming to?

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37

Shannon
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Call Us Today

225.644.5569

13310 Hwy 44 Gonzales, LA 70737

SERVICES WITHIN 24 HOURS GUARANTEED!

2016 MGA Pelican Point Golf Club.

T

Pelican Point MGA host its

Annual Chicago Points Golf
Tournament.
MGA members are heading
down the home stretch to
achieve points to qualify for the
Pelican Cup Tournament to be
held later this year. With a few
tournaments to go before the
Pelican Cup golfers turned out in

38

droves with hopes to post scores

that move them closer to the
final goal.
This unique format benefits
consistant play and managing
your score within
your ability with a
bonus for special and
sometime lucky
shots.

Like every day in South

Louisiana this time of year the
weather was hot and for some
golfers their scores were hotter.

Jeff Powell found himself

scoring great numbers for the
second year in-a-row. Russell
Williams and Mike Gill close

2016 MGA Chicago Points Final Results

Individual Division:
1st Place
2nd Place
3rd Place
3rd Place
5th Place
5th Place
5th Place
5th Place
5th Place
10th Place

Jeff Powell (+10)

Russell Williams (+9)
Mike Gill (+8)
Fred Leffingwell (+8)
Sam Lavigne (+7)
Jay Leblanc (+7)
Richard Young (+7)
Keith Albert (+7)
Darin Johnson (+7)
Ed Amedee (+6)

2 Players Team Division:

1st Place
2nd Place
3rd Place
4th Place
5th Place
6th Place
7th Place
8th Place
8th Place
8th Place

Sam Lavigne & Jeff Powell (+17)

Russell Williams & Ed Amedee (+15)
Keith Albert & Mike Waguespack (+10)
Trevor Adams & Jason Adams (+9)
Mike Sittig & Mike Gill (+8)
Richard Young & Frankie Schmitt (+7)
Brent Broussard & David Amedee (+5)
Chester Campbell & Sam Decoteau (+3)
Jason Humphries & Daniel Euhus (+3)
Joe OBanion & Doyle Philippe (+3)

39

behind in individual scores. Sam

Lavigne and Jeff Powell take
First Place in the team event
with Russell Williams and Ed
Amedee coming in Second and
rounding out the top three in

Third was Keith Albert

(akaThing) and Mike
Wasguespack..
After the tournament a large
crowd showed up to support
the golfers and enjoy a beverage

or two. Pelican Point has

transformed its club house that
entertains all its guest and
members with a great wine
selection and all the cold beer
that is needed.

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Call for Appointment 225.644.8473
40

Good Luck to all the golfers

that are on the edge of making
the Pelican Cup. Play well in the
tournaments to come guys.

2016 Seniors Club Championship

Overall Gross Champion:

Jim Livingston
Overall Net Champion:
Paul Davis

Championship Flight Results

1st Place Gross:
Jim Livingston
2nd Place Gross:
Paul Castro
1st Place Net:
Chad Braud

2nd Place Net:

Sam Lavigne

2016 JUNIOR CLUB

CHAMPIONSHIP
FINAL RESULTS

First Flight Results

1st Place Gross:
Jeff Powell
2nd Place Gross:
Pat Matherne
1st Place Net:
Michael Kulas
2nd Place Net:
Mike Sittig

Second Flight Results

1st Place Gross:
Ed Amedee
2nd Place Gross:
Randy Simon
1st Place Net:
Paul Davis
2nd Place Net:
Jim Whiddon

Pelican Point Junior

Club Champion: Cole Haase

Win you win the cup

and someone fills it
with beer one must at
least drink it all!

6 Holes (8 years old to 11)

Links Course
1st Place Cole Haase .... 33
2nd Place Drew Prieto ....33 (lost in playoff)
3 Holes (7 years old & under)
Links Course
1st Place Andrew Euhus .... 20

The Pelican Point Ladies Golf Association Honors the Olympics.

The members honored the American athletes with a fun Scramble with a complete
Red, White & Blue dress code requirement.

These ladies are rooting for medals for the golf teams in Rio.

Youth Fishing Rodeo

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and their Five locations is a solid community.

These Kids Rock!

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42

Youth Fishing Rodeo

The only thing better than Skid Marks Tire Pros

and their Five locations is a solid community.

These Kids Rock!

18562 HIGHLAND DRIVE, BATON ROUGE, 225-751-8473

1312 WEST HWY. 30, GONZALES 225-647-9631 11209 COURSEY BLVD., BATON ROUGE 225-368-1234 1015 WEST LEE DRIVE, BATON ROUGE 225-767-5008 1800 SOUTH RANGE AVE. DENHAM SPRINGS 225-664-8103

43

Youth Fishing Rodeo

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and their Five locations is a solid community.

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18562 HIGHLAND DRIVE, BATON ROUGE, 225-751-8473

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Cooking
Gourmet at Home
with SNOS SEAFOOD & STEAKS

Ingredients:
2 Lbs Pork Tenderloin
(Cut into 2 inch Cubes)
Salt & Pepper to taste
Cup peanut oil
Buffalo Sauce
1 Cups Lousiana Hot Sauce
1 Cups Melted Butter
Cup Ketchup
1 tsp Granulated Garlic
1 Tbsp Crab Boil
Generously season the cubed pork with salt and pepper. In a
cast iron skillet or Dutch oven add your oil and preheat to
350 degrees. Add your pork tenderloin to the skillet until
achieving desired color and temperature. (approx. 7-12
minutes) Remove the pork from the skillet and allow it to rest
for at least 5 minutes. This will allow the juices to redistribute
evenly in your meat. While the tenderloin is resting combine
your Buffalo Sauce ingredients in a mixing bowl and whisk
vigorously until smooth. Finally, toss your pork with the
buffalo sauce and serve.
You can also pan fry, grill, or deep fry the pork depending
yon your preference.

Cajun Buffalo Pork Skewers

Executive Chef
Ben Jarreau

Prep Time:
10 Minutes
Cook Time:
20 Minutes
Yield:
4 Skewers

Great for Tailgating .... GO TIGERS!!!!!!

45

46

Join Us to Support
Assisted Living Week

September 8
NaNaSha 6:30 pm

September 11
The Mick's - Music 6:30 pm

September 12
Crazy Hat Day
Cafe Azalea 2:00 pm
Winner of Crazy Hat contest
Deware Walker -piano
5:30 pm
September 13
Western Day
Kenny Cornett 2:00 pm
Pat Douglas-piano 5:30 pm

September 14
Pajama Day
Health Fair 9:00 - 11:00 am
Grandparents Tea 2:00 pm
September 15
Twin Day
R & R Band 2:00 pm

September 16
Game Day
T - Roy 10:15 am
River Rats 2:00 pm
Family Night Bingo 6:30 pm
September 17
Crazy Sock Day