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url: https://www.wattpad.

com/story/43627070-unsent-emails-wattys2015
title: Unsent Emails {#Wattys2015}
author: storiesandtea
First published: July 3, 2015
status: Completed
description: he broke up with his supposedly true love, her.
she can't seem to do anything but write.
highest: #5 in short story
Copyright & Summary
UNSENT EMAILS
C O P Y R I G H T
This story, 'Unsent Emails' including all chapters, prologues
& epilogues and associated content is copyrighted. All rights are reserved by th
e owner and creator of this work, Leigh Parks, and any unauthorized copying, dis
tribution, manipulations, broadcasting or selling of this work constitutes as an
infringement of copyright. Any infringement of this copyright is punishable by
law.
S Y N O P S I S:
he broke up with his supposedly true love, her.she can't seem
to do anything but write.
he was her everything.
she was his love.
he made her happy.
she wished he'd stayed.
D E D I C A T I O N:
This short story is dedicated to Alexia (alexthymix) for all t
he support!
A U T H O R 'S N O T E:
Because of the nature of this book, updates will consist of mu
ltiple chapters and will be relatively frequent! Please show your love for this s
tory by leaving a vote or comment! x Leigh
o n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " broken promises "
you broke up with me today.
i don't know why, but the funny thing is, i'm the one who made
you promise me you wouldn't leave.
then again, i guess some promises are meant to be broken.
~~~Draft saved 12/26/15 at 7:43 pm
t w o
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " the center of my universe "
you used to be the center of my universe.
and now, because of you, that universe has crashed and burned.
~~~Draft saved 12/27/15 at 11:39 am
t h r e e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " missing you "
i miss you.

sometimes i wonder if you miss me too.


~~~Draft saved 12/29/15 at 3:09 pm
f o u r
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " avoidance "
i'm starting to think your avoiding me.
your locker is right behind mine, and yet, i didn't see you th
is morning.
~~~Draft saved 12/29/15 at 8:16 am
f i v e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " moving on "
in science class, you sat with someone else
i understand, though, maybe you're trying to move on.
but when i saw you laugh and smile, i couldn't help but think
that should have been you and me...
~~~Draft saved 12/29/15 at 4:45 pm
s i x
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " good times "
i keep thinking about the past.
even though it's sad to think about the good times, i can't ge
t you out of my head.
i don't know how hard it's going to be to let go, but it seems
like you already have.
~~~Draft saved 12/30/15 at 6:59 pm
s e v e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " starbucks "
you kissed her.
i was watching, but you didn't see me. or maybe, you didn't wa
nt to see me.
it was passionate and slow, like the way you used to kiss me.
you paid for her frappuccino too.
she got the kind i hate.
did you notice?
~~~Draft saved 12/31/15 at 1:38 pm
e i g h t
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " new years "
it's new year's eve today.
i wasn't invited to your annual party, but that's okay. nikki
took me with her.
you saw me there, and yet you didn't say a word.
you looked away and pretended not to see me, but i know you di
d.
happy new year...
p.s. we should have spent it together.
~~~ Draft saved 12/31/15 at 12:59 pm
n i n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " absence "
your absence is killing me.
you don't seem to care.

~~~ Draft saved 1/1/16 at 12:59 pm


t e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " coincidence "
i heard your dating her, brenna.
is it just a coincidence my name begins with an 'a', and hers
is the letter right after mine?
~~~ Draft saved 1/2/16 at 7:13 am
e l e v e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " kind "
i fell down and dropped my books today.
she helped me.
i see why you like her.
~~~ Draft saved 1/4/16 at 12:59 am
t w e l v e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " forever "
i still wear the bracelet you gave to me.
i don't think i'm ready to take it off just yet.
it has the words forever engraved in it, because you told me y
ou would love me forever.
liar
~~~ Draft saved 1/5/16 at 2:37
t h i r t e e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " apologies "
you told me you were sorry.
thing is, i don't believe you.
~~~ Draft saved 1/6/16 at 11:01
f o u r t e e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " love & hate "
i want to be able to tell you i don't love you.
but i can't, because if you asked for me to come back to you,
i would.
maybe that's what's wrong with me.
~~~ Draft saved 1/6/16 at 11:01
f i f t e e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " overhearing "
you said bad things about me.
i heard you talking to her.
you said i was ugly.and unappreciative.and needy.
but you know what hurt the most?
you said you could never love a girl like me.
that's when the tears rolled down my cheeks.
~~~ Draft saved 1/7/16 at 1:24
s i x t e e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " dreaming "
i had a dream about us.
it was good.

i didn't want it to end.


~~~ Draft saved 1/8/16 at 4:49
s e v e n t e e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " deleted "
today i deleted your number from my phone.
i know it probably won't help though.
~~~ Draft saved 1/10/16 at 1:24
e i g h t e e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " fire & ice "
we came together like fire and ice.
i was cold and lonely.
you were warm and outgoing.
in the end, i was bound to get burned.
~~~ Draft saved 1/12/16 at 1:24 pm
n i n t e e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " missed calls "
i called you.
you didn't answer.
why?
~~~ Draft saved 1/9/16 at 1:24 pm
t w e n t y
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " out "
my parents think i should do something.
they tell me to stop writing these, but i can't.
it's the only way i can get my feelings out.
~~~ Draft saved 1/10/16 at 4:12 pm
t w e n t y - o n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " smile "
today i sat next to a boy in science.
he smiled at me, and i smiled back.
it's funny how a gesture so small, can mean so much.
~~~ Draft saved 1/11/16 at 9:47 am
t w e n t y - t w o
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " gone "
where have the days gone
when you and i
loved one another?
~~~ Draft saved 1/12/16 at 4:12 pm
t w e n t y - t h r e e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " spam "
i've been thinking about sending these to you.
i don't know what you'd do if i did.
maybe you'd come back to me.
or they'd just go strait to junk.
~~~ Draft saved 1/24/16 at 9:47 am
t w e n t y - f o u r

To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " fallen star "


i saw a shooting star today.
can you guess what i wished for?
the answer is you.
~~~ Draft saved 1/25/16 at 1:24 pm
t w e n t y - f i v e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " date "
remember the boy who smiled at me?
he asked me out.
i cried when he did.
then, i told him about you.
he said he understands.
i just hope i don't lose him too.
~~~ Draft saved 1/26/16 at 1:24 pm
t w e n t y - s i x
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " carnival "
he took me to a carnival.
you were there too,
with her.
we had so much fun
riding the ferris wheel,
and playing games.
but you know what,
it felt so good to smile
and laugh
again
~~~ Draft saved 1/30/16 at 10:02 pm
t w e n t y - s e v e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " theories "
he thinks i still like you.
i do too.
~~~ Draft saved 1/26/16 at 1:24 pm
t w e n t y - e i g h t
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " skip "
my heart skipped a beat
when you walked by.
i thought you were walking up to me
for a split second.
but you walked right past me to
her
~~~ Draft saved 1/27/16 at 2:33 pm
t w e n t y - n i n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " memories "
i have a picture of us on my dresser.
we were both smiling.
now your the only one.
~~~ Draft saved 1/26/16 at 7:52 pm
t h i r t y

To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " unanswered question "


why did you leave me?
~~~ Draft saved 1/27/16 at 10:13 am
t h i r t y - o n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " now "
i remember the days when i couldn't imagine someone like me,st
anding next to you.
now i can't imagine someone like me,wanting to stand next to s
omeone like you.
~~~ Draft saved 1/28/16 at 6:45 pm
t h i r t y - t w o
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " kiss "
i kissed him.
i went to his apartment with tears in my eyes.
he sat with me for what seemed like hours.
and then before i left i kissed him.
and he kissed me back.
~~~ Draft saved 1/29/16 at 10:13 am
t h i r t y - t h r e e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " damaged "
i love him.
and i love you too.
but i don't know if i can
do it anymore.
you broke my heart
and i don't know if it will ever be fixed.
~~~ Draft saved 1/30/16 at 3:54 pm
t h i r t y - f o u r
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " feel "
what am i supposed to feel when you smile at me?
love
or
hate?
i don't know anymore...
~~~ Draft saved 1/31/16 at 12:36 am
t h i r t y - f i v e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " loved "
he asked me out again.
i want to say yes.
but i can't.
although, it is nice to know someone else could love me.
~~~ Draft saved 2/1/16 at 4:28 am
t h i r t y - s i x
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " nave"
i used to think that we were forever.
and you used to say we were.

and i was nave and believed you.


~~~ Draft saved 2/2/16 at 5:01 pm
t h i r t y - s e v e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " alone"
you were in the coffee shop alone today.
where is she?
~~~ Draft saved 2/3/16 at 7:47 pm
t h i r t y - e i g h t
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " fairy tales"
fairy tales make me sick.
there is always a happy ending.
i just didn't get mine.
~~~ Draft saved 2/2/16 at 5:01 pm
t h i r t y - n i n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " nave"
i used to think that we were forever.
and you used to say we were.
i was nave and believed you.
~~~ Draft saved 2/2/16 at 5:01 pm
f o u r t y
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " changes"
you and her got into a fight.
she said you kissed another girl at a party.
i don't even know if i know you anymore.
the old part of you is gone.
and the part of you that loved me is too.
i'm afraid it will stay that way.
~~~ Draft saved 2/3/16 at 6:00 pm
f o u r t y - o n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " staring"
you stared at me in class today.
i stared right back at you.
but you were the one who looked away
first
~~~ Draft saved 2/3/16 at 6:00 pm
f o u r t y - t w o
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " him "
he laughs at my jokes even when they aren't funny.
he is there for me when no one else is.
he loves me no matter what.
that's why i love him.
i don't even think i deserve a friend like him to be honest.
~~~ Draft saved 2/4/16 at 9:28 am
f o u r t y - t h r e e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " partners "
we were partnered together in english to translate romeo and j

uliet.
i thought it would be a disaster.
but it did not crash and burn like my universe did.
actually, i enjoyed spending time with the old you again.
~~~ Draft saved 2/5/16 at 11:04 am
f o u r t y - f o u r
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " friends? "
i wonder if we will ever be friends again.
~~~ Draft saved 2/6/16 at 11:04 am
f o u r t y - f i v e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " realizations "
i love him.
between the fact that i get butterflies in my stomach when he'
s near me,
and all my problems drift away when he holds me close
i figured it out.
and i hope he still loves me too.
~~~ Draft saved 2/7/16 at 8:46 pm
f o u r t y - s i x
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " love "
i called him.
and i was the one who asked him out.
he said yes!
~~~ Draft saved 2/7/16 at 11:47 pm
f o u r t y - s e v e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " lovely "
we went to the caf.
you weren't there.
it was nice, though.
and best part is that it's nice to be in love again.
~~~ Draft saved 2/8/16 at 2:12 pm
f o u r t y - e i g h t
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " flower "
he send me a flower bouquet.
they were beautiful,
every single one was perfect.
~~~ Draft saved 2/8/16 at 3:47 am
f o u r t y - n i n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " monday "
you and her were making out by the lockers.
even though we broke up, doesn't mean i don't feel a pang of j
ealously when your with her.
~~~ Draft saved 2/9/16 at 3:17 pm
f i f t y
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " forgotten "
at least we're both happy now.

she
and
but
~~~

makes you happy,


he makes me happy.
you don't realize that because you've forgotten about me.
Draft saved 2/9/16 at 6:41 pm

f i f t y - o n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " reply "
i send him an email.
he replied.
i've written so many unsent ones, it's strange to get a reply.
~~~ Draft saved 2/10/16 at 4:35 pm
f i f t y - t w o
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " helping "
being with him is helping me move on.
that doesn't mean i don't miss you too, because i do.
~~~ Draft saved 2/11/16 at 5:12 pm
f i f t y - t h r e e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subje
ct: " moment "
we kissed again.
but in that moment,
everything around me just stopped.
and i let myself go.
just for a second.
~~~ Draft saved 2/14/16 at 4:59 pm
f i f t y - f o u r
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " collided "
i found the new center of my universe.
~~~ Draft saved 2/16/16 at 12:43 am
f i f t y - f i v e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " months "
the months i spent with you,
we're some of the best in my life.
and i wouldn't trade them for anything.
~~~ Draft saved 2/17/16 at 7:01 pm
f i f t y - s i x
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " pictures "
i'm still going to keep the picture of us on my dresser.
next to it, though, i put up a picture of him and me.
~~~ Draft saved 2/18/16 at 3:47
f i f t y - s e v e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " times change "
i guess times change.
~~~ Draft saved 2/19/16 at 6:41 am
f i f t y - e i g h t

To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " afraid "


sometimes i think he'll break up with me.
but i don't want to believe i think that.
because that means i don't trust him
as much as i trusted
you
~~~ Draft saved 2/20/16 at 12:34 pm
f i f t y - n i n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " looked "
i looked at you and smiled today.
because i thought of us.
in a good way
this time.
~~~ Draft saved 2/22/16 at 3:00 pm
s i x t y
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " don't "
i made a wish again.
i wished that you don't hate me.
because i don't hate you.
~~~ Draft saved 2/23/16 at 4:57 pm
s i x t y - o n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " disappointment "
i've decided to not be afraid of getting my heart broken.
because i would rather assume the best in people,and be disapp
ointed.
than expect the worst of people,and not be disappointed at all
.
~~~ Draft saved 2/24/16 at 7:01 pm
s i x t y - t w o
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " certain "
it's been a while since you left me.
one thing is for certain, though.
we aren't the same as we used to be
at the start.
~~~ Draft saved 2/25/16 at 9:45 pm
s i x t y - t h r e e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " hello "
i said hello to you today.
you said hi back.
i guess sometimes we have to say goodbye before hello.
~~~ Draft saved 2/26/16 at 3:32 pm
s i x t y - f o u r
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " always "
he said he will always love me.
i wish it were that simple.
~~~ Draft saved 2/27/16 at 5:21 pm
s i x t y - f i v e

To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " stories "


remember the story, of two star crossed lovers who couldn't be
together?
that reminds me of me and you.
~~~ Draft saved 2/28/16 at 4:21 pm
s i x t y - s i x
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " every day "
every day i think of you.
and what we used to be.
~~~ Draft saved 2/30/16 at 3:32 pm
s i x t y - s e v e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " cheating "
she's cheating on you.
~~~ Draft saved 2/29/16 at 2:12 pm
s i x t y - e i g h t
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " faults "
if i tell you i saw her cheating on you,
with someone else,
who's fault would it be when you break up?
mine
~~~ Draft saved 3/1/16 at pm
s i x t y - n i n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " what i like to see "
i like to see you happy,
even if it's fake and you don't know it.
~~~ Draft saved 3/2/16 at 9:42 pm
s e v e n t y
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " told "
i told you,
but you already knew.
and broke up with her today.
you yelled at me because i didn't tell you sooner.
and i yelled right back at you.
i told you i didn't want to hurt you,
but you were already driving away.
and i was already crying.
~~~ Draft saved 3/3/16 at 7:34 pm
s e v e n t y- o n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " not my fault "
he told me it wasn't my fault when we went to the cafe
after he found me crying in the parking lot.
i didn't say anything.
if it wasn't my fault,
then why do i feel so guilty?
~~~ Draft saved 2/4/16 at 4:32 pm
s e v e n t y - t w o

To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " lonely lunch "


at lunch you were alone.
i would have sat with you,
if you weren't so mad at me.
~~~ Draft saved 3/5/16 at 6:32 pm
s e v e n t y - t h r e e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " deserve "
she never deserved a guy like you in the first place.
~~~ Draft saved 3/6/16 at 7:32 pm
s e v e n t y - f o u r
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " just maybe "
just maybe if she loved you a little more,
she wouldn't have broken your heart.
~~~ Draft saved 3/7/16 at 9:12 pm
s e v e n t y - f i v e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " how? "
how does it feel,
to have your heart broken?
~~~ Draft saved 3/8/16 at 1:21 pm
s e v e n t y - s i x
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " this time"
this time you didn't
move on and get over it
right after it happened,
like you did with me.
~~~ Draft saved 3/9/16 at 4:23 pm
s e v e n t y - s e v e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " love hurts"
she's now dating the boy who she was secretly dating.
i think all of her kindness was fake.
~~~ Draft saved 3/10/16 at 1:21 pm
s e v e n t y - e i g h t
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " bowling "
he took me bowling.
i actually scored a strike.
sometimes it nice to get your mind off of everything for a lit
tle while...
~~~ Draft saved 3/12/16 at 1:21 pm
s e v e n t y - n i n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " too "
i went to the cafe again.
you were there, alone.
this time it wasn't just me.
~~~ Draft saved 3/13/16 at 2:12 pm
e i g h t y

To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " late "


you came to school late.
and the thing is, i was actually concerned for you.
~~~ Draft saved 3/15/16 at 1:21 pm
e i g h t y - o n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " barely "
you've barely talked to anybody.
and you haven't even looked at me.
as if it's my fault you two broke up.
~~~ Draft saved 3/17/16 at 4:52 pm
e i g h t y - t w o
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " you are "
remember when you left me,
and all i could think about was you,
and i hated myself for not being good enough for you?
they say what goes around comes around.
and i'm finally seeing it's true.
~~~ Draft saved 3/18/16 at 6:12 pm
e i g h t y - t h r e e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " boyfriend "
he's sick.
nothing major,
but i'm sort of lonely without him here.
~~~ Draft saved 3/19/16 at 5:32 pm
e i g h t y - f o u r
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " one last time "
sometimes i just want you to hold me,
before all the probability of us
is gone.
~~~ Draft saved 3/20/16 at 6:23 pm
e i g h t y - f i v e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " i wonder "
i still wonder,
when you looked into my eyes after we broke up,
and you saw my heart shatter,
did your heart break too?
or just crack a little bit?
because my heart cracked for you.
~~~ Draft saved 2/21/16 at 3:37 pm
e i g h t y - s i x
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " our story "
these emails are more like our story.
after we ended.
~~~ Draft saved 3/22/16 at 8:43
e i g h t y - s e v e n

To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " project "


we have to do a lab in science.
we were partnered together.
you smiled and laughed.
it was nice to see you happy again.
~~~ Draft saved 3/23/16 at 5:04
e i g h t y - e i g h t
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " cheat "
she's a cheat too.
she copied my answers on our history test.
~~~ Draft saved 3/24/16 at 2:30
e i g h t y - n i n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " rewind "
i wish i could just rewind time,
to when you and i
we're happy together.
~~~ Draft saved 3/25/16 at 6:51
n i n e t y
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " not a single heart broken "
i was sitting on the porch reading.
it was one of those sappy romance stories where everyone falls
in love and doesn't get their heart broken.
i may not believe in soulmates,
but i do believe everyone has a chance at a happy ending.
~~~ Draft saved 3/25/16 at 3:21 pm
n i n e t y - o n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject:
he and i might actually
lol jk,
but i can see us having
~~~ Draft saved 3/26/16
n i n t e y - t w o

" he and i "


be soulmates. <3
a future together.
at 5:37 pm

To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " sunday "


it's sunday.
you're probably asleep.
and i'm crying from a nightmare.
~~~ Draft saved 3/27/16 at 1:07 am
n i n e t y - t h r e e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " bent "
people always say they're broken,
when they're really just fractured.
~~~ Draft saved 3/29/16 at 5:31 pm
n i n t e y - f o u r
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " feels like "
it's been a little over three months,

since you kissed me.


but it feels like years.
~~~ Draft saved 3/30/16 at 2:57 pm
n i n t e y - f i v e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " gravity "
love and gravity
go hand in hand.
the more you love someone,
the harder you
fall.
~~~ Draft saved 3/31/16 at 3:47 pm
n i n t e y - s i x
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " try "
i know high school relationships
probably won't last long.
but i'm dumb enough to try
for the people i love.
~~~ Draft saved 4/1/16 at 6:48 pm
n i n t e y - s e v e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " the rule of break-ups "
someone is always going to get hurt.
~~~ Draft saved 4/2/16 at 5:21 pm
n i n t e y - e i g h t
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: "update on us "
we are doing just fine,
me and him.
we're happy.
and that's all that matters, right?
~~~ Draft saved 4/3/16 at 6:21 pm
n i n t e y - n i n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " you on the other hand "
these past few months,
have changed you.
you're sitting with your popular friends,
but there's a faint sadness in your eyes,
that even the smiles and laughs can't conceal.
~~~ Draft saved 4/4/16 at 6:56 pm
o n e h u n d r e d
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " another date "
we had another date.
it was very nice.
we ate at one of those overly fancy restaurants.
it was the best food i every had.
~~~ Draft saved 4/5/16 at 7:32 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - o n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " love "

love takes sacrifice.


i guess we both learned that the hard way.
~~~ Draft saved 4/6/16 at 12:11 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t w o
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " talks "
remember when we used to talk?
i miss that.
~~~ Draft saved 4/7/16 at 9:21 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t h r e e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " perfection "
i used to talk about you
like you were perfect.
i realized you weren't when you broke my heart.
no one is.
we are all flawed.
~~~ Draft saved 4/7/16 at 2:45 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f o u r
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " now "
i still can't help
but notice
how fake your happiness is now.
and how forced your smiles and laughs are at lunch.
~~~ Draft saved 4/8/16 at 5:21 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f i v e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " wave "
i waved at you,
but you just walked right past me.
do you really still hate me?
~~~ Draft saved 4/9/16 6:09 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - s i x
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " regret "
i regret not telling you about her
every day.
and you still won't forgive me.
why?
~~~ Draft saved 4/10/16 at 4:57 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - s e v e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " past tense "
i used to be able to say i love you.
now, i don't know what we are.
friends? enemies? all just labels to describe you and me...
~~~ Draft saved 4/13/16 at 6:42 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - e i g h t
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " scars "
there are still scars,
on my heart from your knives.

o n e

~~~ Draft saved 4/11/16 at 6:42 pm


h u n d r e d - n i n e

To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " realize "


when will you realize,
it's not my fault you guys broke up?
~~~ Draft saved 4/14/16 at 6:42 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " end "
i don't want to end high school
on bad terms with you.
but if you don't want forgive me
there's noting i can do.
~~~ Draft saved 4/15/16 at 2:43 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - e l e v e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " believe "
it's hard for me to believe
there used to be love for me
in that ugly heart of yours.
~~~ Draft saved 4/16/16 at 7:11 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t w e l v e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " still? "
would we have still been together now if you hadn't broken up
with me?
i don't know...
~~~ Draft saved 4/17/16 at 4:32 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t h i r t e e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " totally"
i can never be totally happy
without you.
but i have to.
~~~ Draft saved 4/18/16 at 7:54 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f o u r t e e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " fight "
we had a fight.
it was stupid really,
but him yelling at me
reminded me of you.
one day i will look back on this and laugh,
but until then,
i'll cry.
~~~ Draft saved 4/29/16 at 5:18 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f i f t e e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " call "
i called him.
he didn't answer.
is he going to leave me too?

~~~ Draft saved 4/20/16 at 5:51 pm


o n e h u n d r e d - s i x t e e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " make up "
he didn't leave me.
when i called
his phone was dead.
at school he apologized
and gave me and apple strudel.
he knows me so well.
~~~ Draft saved 4/21/16 at 6:47 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - s e v e n t e e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " moving "
we're moving this summer,
my mom got a new job
in california.
i don't want to leave.
my home is here,
with him.
~~~ Draft saved 4/22/16 at 3:02 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - e i g h t e e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " secrets "
i can't tell him.
but is it a lie,
if i act like everything is okay?
~~~ Draft saved 4/23/16 at 12:32 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - n i n t e e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " guilty "
i feel so guilty,
but should i can't just can't break his heart,
like you did to me.
i could never forgive myself,
either way.
~~~ Draft saved 4/24/16 at 9:07 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t w e n t y
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " rocks & hard places "
i'm stuck between a rock & a hard place
with no way out,
unless someone gets hurt.
~~~ Draft saved 4/25/16 at 7:59 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t w e n t y - o n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " noticed "
he noticed that
i was acting strange.
i lied.
told him i was stressed for a test.
~~~ Draft saved 4/26/16 at 8:16 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t w e n t y - t w o

To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " right way "


there is no 'right way'
to tell the love of your life,
your moving over 1,000 miles away.
~~~ Draft saved 4/27/16 at 4:31 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t w e n t y - t h r e e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " used to be "
i used to be a happy-go-lucky girl.
now i'm a damaged girl who's going to be forced to break someo
ne's heart.
~~~ Draft saved 4/28/16 at 7:19 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t w e n t y - f o u r
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " could it? "
do you think a long distance relationship,
could work if we're willing to try?
~~~ Draft saved 4/30/16 at 6:04 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t w e n t y - f i v e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " harder "
it's getting harder to hide the truth from him.
my mom was telling all these other parents and she nearly told
his.
when he asked me today what i was doing for the summer,
i didn't even know what to say.
and then i told him i was going on vacation to california.
it is sort of true though....
~~~ Draft saved 5/1/16 at 7:21 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t w e n t y - s i x
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " tomorrow "
i'm going to tell him tomorrow.
i already know what i'm going to say,
where i'll tell him and everything,
but there's still this knot in my stomach about it.
~~~ Draft saved 5/2/16 at 4:50 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t w e n t y - s e v e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " truth comes out "
that popular girl told him at lunch.
she probably thought it was funny because everyone at her tabl
e laughed when right before he walked by them.
he was walking to our table and she whispered something in his
ear,
then he sat down with me.
and he had this sad look in his eyes,
but i didn't say anything.
~~~ Draft saved 5/3/16 at 6:04 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t w e n t y - e i g h t
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " bucket list "
since this might be the last year

we spend
together,
we're going to make a bucket list.
of what we want to do together.
before i leave.
~~~ Draft saved 5/4/16 at 7:19 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t w e n t y - n i n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " coming to an end "
all good things,
must come to an end.
but i don't want them to.
~~~ Draft saved 5/5/16 at 2:21 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t h i r t y
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " what if? "
what if,
i never fall in love again?
i want to feel the butterflies in my stomach when he's here,
and i want to get kisses that will make me melt.
and i don't want to spend my life
alone
~~~ Draft saved 5/6/16 at 12:56 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t h i r t y - o n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " selling "
mom talks about selling the house
like its a broken toy.
she keeps finding these nice beachside homes,
but to me californa will never be home.
no matter how big our house is.
~~~ Draft saved 5/7/16 at 5:43 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t h i r t y - t w o
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " gift "
my going away gift to you
is going to be these.
i'm going to mail these to you,
every last one if them.
~~~ Draft saved 4/8/16 at 5:21 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t h i r t y - t h r e e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " last "
this is our last year,
before we go to college.
and go our separate ways in life.
and we probably won't even remain
in contact.
do you want to forget about me?
~~~ Draft saved 5/9/16 5:26 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t h i r t y - f o u r
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " photographs "
at least i'll still have pictures

of us
when we were happy,
and everything between us was perfect.
~~~ Draft saved 5/10/16 at 7:39 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t h i r t y - f i v e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " heartbreak "
sometimes i want to thank you
for breaking my heart,
because if you didn't,
it would have hurt more when someone else did.
~~~ Draft saved 5/11/16 at 3:12 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t h i r t y - s i x
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " love "
everyone has a chance to fall
in love,
but do we ever fall for the right person?
~~~ Draft saved 5/12/16 at 6:09 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t h i r t y - s e v e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " check off "
we did the first thing in our
bucket list - cliff jumping.
it was very fun,
but it made me sad to know this
was one of the last things we do together.
~~~ Draft saved 5/13/16 at 9:47 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t h i r t y - e i g h t
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " never "
i should have never
been so nave as to think i could have found
love again,
and keep it this time.
~~~ Draft saved 5/14/16 at 3:38 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - t h i r t y - n i n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " powerful words "
here are three lovely words:i love you
here are four heartbreaking words:i love you, but
wasn't it funny how that's what you said to me the day we brok
e up?
~~~ Draft saved 5/15/16 at 7:43 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f o u r t y
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " answers "
please just tell medid you break up with me, because of me?
~~~ Email sent 5/16/16 at 3:18 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f o u r t y - o n e
To: ana.williams@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " [blank] "
No, it wasn't because of you.

~~~ Email sent 5/17/16 at 5:32 pm


author's note:it's funny how all of you skipped over one of th
e biggest plot twists in the last chapter...
o n e h u n d r e d - f o u r t y - t w o
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " let it go "
i told him i want to break up with him today.
not right now,but before i leaveso he can move on.
and so he can find someone elseto laugh with,and cry with, and
complete him.
because if you love something,you have to let it go.
~~~ Draft saved 5/18/16 at 6:54 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f o u r t y - t h r e e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " special "
i need to do something special for him.
to thank himfor everything,but i don't know what...
~~~ Draft saved 5/19/16 at 4:32 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f o u r t y - f o u r
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " gifts and memories "
i want to give you somethingmore too,than these emails.
but what?
~~~ Draft saved 5/19/16 at 4:18 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f o u r t y - f i v e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " end "
this is going to be hardto end.
the school year will be overin a few days.
and with it so will me & him.
eventually i will have to write the last email to you,and i do
n't know what i'll say.
but whatever i say, i hope when you read ityou might feel some
thing for me besides bitterness.
~~~ Draft saved 5/20/16 at 6:32 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f o u r t y - s i x
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " check "
we are still doing the bucket listso we can have great thingst
o remember each other by.
i decided to give him a boxof polaroid pictures of uswith capt
ions i wrote on the bottom.
but i am keeping one of usso i get a photograph where our love
will be kept safelyforever.
~~~ Draft saved 5/21/16 at 7:43 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f o u r t y - s e v e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " hopes "
i hope this year won't be the last timei see you.
or him.
because there may be hundreds of miles between us,but you two
exist in my memories.
~~~ Draft saved 5/22/16 at 2:57 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f o u r t y - e i g h t

To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " strangers "


at school were strangers,like we were at the start.
~~~ Draft saved 5/23/16 at 5:02 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f o u r t y - n i n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " before i go "
before i goi will deliver these to you.
every singleo n e.
and i will leave you a little piece of me.
~~~ Draft saved 5/24/16 at 4:28 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f i f t y
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " party"
i went to a party.
you were there,he probably wasn't.
i talked to youbut you were drunk.
and you tried to k i s s me.
and when i pushed you awayyou called me a slut.
and then i left.
but i think you saw me crying.
~~~ Draft saved 5/24/16 at 6:41 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f i f t y - o n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " secrets "
you're bipolar.
~~~ Draft saved 5/25/16 at 9:45 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f i f t y - t w o
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " hiding "
you never told me,
why?
it may not have even been your fault
when you did all those horrible things to me.
and all i did was hate you for it.
~~~ Draft saved 5/26/16 at 7:28 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f i f t y - t h r e e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " helping hand "
i could've helped you.
you knew i would have,so why didn't you let me?
~~~ Draft saved 5/27/16 at 3:21 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f i f t y - f o u r
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " apologies "
i'm sorry that i justcrossed you off as a jerk,without even kn
owing why you broke my heart.
~~~ Draft saved 5/28/16 at 4:31 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f i f t y - f i v e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " days away "
school ends in a littleover a week.

him and i are fine.


i didn't tell him what happened at the party,or what i found o
ut about you.

o n e

i wish i didn't have to go.


but we would have gone our separate ways by college, right?
~~~ Draft saved 5/28/16 at 5:12 pm
h u n d r e d - f i f t y - s i x

To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " stargazing "


i went stargazing with him today.
the thing that makes stars beautifulis because the shinetogeth
er.
because no oneis beautiful alone.
~~~ Draft saved 5/29/16 at 12:47 am
o n e h u n d r e d - f i f t y - s e v e n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " numbers "
how many people actually end upnever getting their heart broke
n?
~~~ Draft saved 5/30/16 at 4:23 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f i f t y - e i g h t
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " high school "
these years in high schoolwe're some of the best in my life.
i hope they were yours too.
~~~ Draft saved 5/30/16 at 7:17 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - f i f t y - n i n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " plane rides "
we're actually flying to california sunday.
this week isthe last of school.
but i don't want it to be so soon.
~~~ Draft saved 5/31/16 at 9:58 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - s i x t y
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " surprises "
i have your gifts.
i'll send it to youwhen i send you these.
he gave me mine already.
it's a locketwith a picture of us in it.
i love it.
~~~ Draft saved 5/32/16 at 4:13 pm
o n e h u n d r e d - s i x t y - o n e
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " box "
i gave him the polaroid box.
he said he would forever keep themon the shelf in his room.
and i will wear the locket.
don't worry, your gift is coming.
~~~ Draft saved 5/33/16 at 5:24 pm
e l f i n
To: nathan_hill@gmail.comCc/Bcc: Subject: " el fin "

i could ask you why,you broke up with meor do some digging and
find out why(since i finally read that email)but it doesn't matter.
besides,that's your story to tell.
not mineand every storyhas at least two sides.
this is only one.
what does matter is that i leaveon good terms with you and him
,and stop dwelling on the past.
all i needed to know is that it hopefully wasn't my fault.
we may never make fullamends,
and that's okay.
but i want to say something i should have said,a long time ago
.
goodbye & i'll miss you
just because i'm leaving you, doesn't mean my journey ends her
e.
because it won't.
i'll laugh, cry, and experience my whole life ahead of me.and
you will too,just not with me.
and that's okay.
because we will be okay.
we are okay.
and i am going to leave youbecause i will not be the girlwho y
ou left behindfor her.
i will be the girlwho left you behindafter all this time.
and even though it might seem like it,i promise you i'm not cr
ying.
with love,ana j. anderson
~~~ Draft saved 5/34/6 at 10:39 pm
a u t h o r 's n o t e:who else is actually crying right now
besides me?i hope you guys enjoyed this story, my first every wattpad completed
story!!!! and i hope you will enjoy new stories i will write later on. i love yo
u all and your support has been incredible, i never imagined i'd end up #5 on th
e hot list with over 200 thousand reads, but you made my dreams reality, so than
k you very much! <333~ Leigh

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