Introduction to Formal Style of Writing

Style and clarity

What does style and clarity in academic writing involve?

precise use of formal language

impersonal style
clearly constructed sentences
care with abbreviations and acronyms
logical and systematic development of ideas.

Formal language
When writing or speaking, we choose the words which seem most suitable to the purpose and
audience. In academic writing we use formal language, avoiding the use of slang and colloquial
language.
Try to learn a range of appropriate language for expressing your opinions and referring to those of
others.

Some of the language in the following examples is more appropriate for speaking than
writing. Identify which expressions are too informal.
1. When I look at the situation in emergency wards, with many staff leaving, it's hard not to worry
about how many doctors will be available to treat patients in the future.
2. If we consider the situation in emergency wards, with increasingly low staff retention rates,
there are concerns about the capacity of hospitals to maintain adequate doctor to patient
ratios.
3. It's so obvious that people were given jobs just because they were male or female. I don't
think that is an acceptable approach and is even against the law.
4. It appears that in a number of instances jobs were assigned on the basis of gender. Given the
current anti-discrimination laws, this raises serious concerns.
In contrast to spoken English, a distinctive feature of academic writing style is for writers to choose the
more formal alternative when selecting a verb, noun, or other part of speech.
English often has two (or more) choices to express an action or occurrence. The choice is often
between, on the one hand, a verb which is part of a phrase (often verb + preposition), and a verb
which is one word only. Often in lectures and in everyday spoken English, the verb + preposition is
used (eg speak up, give up, write down); however, for written academic style, the preferred choice is
a single verb wherever possible.
For example
Informal: The social worker looked at the client's history to find out which interventions had previously
been implemented.
Academic: The social worker examined the client's history to establish which interventions had
previously been implemented.

Exercise 1
Rewrite the sentences in a more academic style using verbs from the list below. Note that you may
need to change the verb tense.

investigate
assist
raise
discover
establish
increase
eliminate

1. Systems analysts can help out managers in many different ways.

2. This program was set up to improve access to medical care.

3. Medical research expenditure has gone up to nearly $350 million.

4. Researchers have found out that this drug has serious side effects.

5. Exercise alone will not get rid of medical problems related to blood pressure.

6. Researchers have been looking into this problem for 15 years now.

7. This issue was brought up during the coroner's inquest.

Impersonal style
Compare the changes in these sentences from informal to academic style.
Comparison of sentences from informal writing to academic writing

Informal writing

Academic writing

When I look at the situation in emergency wards,

with many staff leaving, it's hard not to
worry about how many doctors will be available
to treat patients in the future.
It's so obvious that people were given jobs just
because they were male or female, don't think
that is an acceptable approach and is even
against the law.

You will notice that, in general, in academic writing we:

minimise the use of the personal I in the text: avoid writing 'When I look; I don't think this is an
acceptable approach'
use formal verbs, and fewer verb phrases (verb + preposition), use consider rather
than look at
use impersonal expressions: there are, this raises
use more nouns than verbs: concerns, rather than to worry
avoid emotional expressions, such as it's so obvious ( it appears is preferable); just
because ( assigned on the basis of is preferable)
aim for concise, often abstract expression, gender, rather than male or female.

Objective writing

In general, academic writing aims to be objective in its expression of ideas. Therefore

specific reference to personal opinions, or to yourself as the performer of actions, is usually
avoided.

Expressing opinions

Expressing opinions

Personal

In my opinion
I believe that
In my view

'Objective'
It has been argued that
Some writers claim
Clearly,
It is clear that
There is little doubt that

Avoiding too much reference to yourself as agent in your writing

Avoid reference to yourself as agent in your writing

Agent or performer

No agent or performer

I undertook the study

The study was undertaken

I propose to

It is proposed to

In this essay I will examine This essay examines

There are times when it is important to emphasise authorial stance ie that it is

specifically your position or view. Check with your tutor in the unit as to how much
of yourself as the author it is appropriate to acknowledge and include in your writing.

Clear sentences
For clarity, it is also important to keep a check on sentence length. If sentences are too short, your
writing will sound childish; if they are too long, the reader will lose track.

Sentence length not too long and not too short

Note: A skilful writer can produce much longer sentences which remain clear and effective. Some
topics and some tasks may tend to require longer sentences. What is important is not that you count
up every sentence, but that you think about sentence length when writing, monitor your own writing to
ensure that the meaning is always as clear as possible, and explore opportunities to vary sentence
length when appropriate. Short sentences aid coherence, whilst longer sentences aid cohesion.

Look at the three texts below, all on the same topic. Which is the best text? Which is the
worst text? Why?

Two canine cadavers with orthopedic abnormalities were identified which included a first dog that had
an unusual deformity secondary to premature closure of the distal ulnar physis and a second dog that
had a hypertrophic nonunion of the femur, and the radius and femur of both dogs were harvested and
cleaned of soft tissues.
(54 words)
Text 2
Two canine cadavers with orthopedic abnormalities were identified. The first dog had an unusual
deformity. It was secondary to premature closure of the distal ulnar physis. The second dog had a
hypertrophic nonunion of the femur. The radius and femur of both dogs were harvested. They were
cleaned of soft tissues.
(51 words; average 8.5 words per sentence)

Text 3
Two canine cadavers with orthopedic abnormalities were identified. The first dog had an unusual
deformity secondary to premature closure of the distal ulnar physis; the second, a hypertrophic
nonunion of the femur. The radius and femur of both dogs were harvested and cleaned of soft tissues.
(46 words; average 15.3 words per sentence)

What are the problems with each text? You can tick more than one.
Text 1
Two canine cadavers with orthopedic abnormalities were identified which included a first dog that had
an unusual deformity secondary to premature closure of the distal ulnar physis and a second dog that
had a hypertrophic nonunion of the femur, and the radius and femur of both dogs were harvested and
cleaned of soft tissues.

What are the problems with Text 1?

Your answer:
sentence too long
too complicated
unclear what 'which' refers to
the and' in bold doesn't express a logical connection
unconnected sentences
not clear what 'it' and 'they' refer to
theme of paragraph not clear

Text 2
Two canine cadavers with orthopedic abnormalities were identified. The first dog had an unusual
deformity. It was secondary to premature closure of the distal ulnar physis. The second dog had a
hypertrophic nonunion of the femur. The radius and femur of both dogs were harvested. They were
cleaned of soft tissues.

What are the problems with Text 2?

Your answer:
sentence too long
too complicated
unclear what 'which' refers to
the and' in bold doesn't express a logical connection

unconnected sentences
not clear what 'it' and 'they' refer to
theme of paragraph not clear

Text 3
Two canine cadavers with orthopedic abnormalities were identified. The first dog had an unusual
deformity secondary to premature closure of the distal ulnar physis; the second, a hypertrophic
nonunion of the femur. The radius and femur of both dogs were harvested and cleaned of soft tissues.
Adapted from Matthews, J., Bowen, J. & Matthews, R. (1996) Successful scientific writing, CUP, Cambridge.

Use of acronyms and abbreviations

Explain any terminology which you think may not be familiar to the reader or which they may not
necessarily know you know.
Always write a long name in full the first time you use it, regardless of how well known it is.
For example

The World Health Organisation (WHO) is affiliated with the United Nations (UN). The UN
provides funds which help the WHO perform its role effectively.

Research into weapons of mass destruction (WMD) has increased the potential risks from
bioterrorism. Agencies involved in the development of WMD have on occasion failed to
maintain adequate levels of security, and this has led to potentially hazardous materials falling
into the wrong hands.

Abbreviations should generally be avoided. However, it is appropriate to use standard abbreviations

sometimes in scientific writing. For the first reference to a term in the text, the term should be used in
full with the abbreviation included in brackets. For the remainder of the text the abbreviation should be
used. However, abbreviations should not be used in the abstract or in the title.
For example

Where the patient exhibits these symptoms it is appropriate for the doctor to request an
electrocardiagram (ECG). An ECG may help to establish

Adapted from Peat, J et al, (2002) Scientific writing, London: BMJ.

Note that, in academic writing usually the full form is used rather than contractions, as follows

Avoid abbreviations in academic writing

Full form

Contraction

do not

don't

cannot

can't

will not

won't

must not

mustn't

he would

he'd

Logical development of ideas

Coherence
In writing which is coherent the ideas are expressed clearly and logically, and supported with reasons
and examples. These factors make it easy for the reader to follow the argument and intentions of the
writer.
Cohesion
In writing which is cohesive, the writing flows, and is linked together well at the:

sentence level
paragraph level
whole text level.

Some features of cohesive writing are:

a range of sentence structures

using punctuation correctly
well-constructed paragraphs
effective use of linking words
transitions between paragraphs and sections of the assignment.

Structure
What does structure in academic writing involve?

Explicit organization
Conformity to required formats and conventions

Logical presentation of sections and paragraphs.

Organisation in academic writing involves putting yourself in the reader's position and thinking about
what is the best order and presentation for your work to make sense to them. Once you have thought
about this, you need to signal to your reader throughout your piece not just what you are saying
but what you are doing. This enables them to see where you are going, follow your direction, and
therefore be more sympathetic to your writing.
To keep your reader on your side, you also need to follow carefully the specific format and particular
application of academic conventions for your subject which you will find set out in your unit guide.
For structure of particular types of assignments, look at the features of these sample assignments
in Writing for Subjects.

Structuring an argument for English

Structuring for Philosophy
Structuring an argument for Sociology
Report Writing
Case Study Report
Structure in Marketing
Writing Technical Reports for Engineering
Report Structure for Business Systems data analysis
The Lab Report for Science

Writing effective paragraphs

An important key to good essay writing is effective paragraphing. Basically, when you start a new
idea, you should start a new paragraph. A paragraph is 'a self-contained expression of a single
main idea.' (Higgs et al 2005:49)
A paragraph generally consists of 3 parts:
1. topic sentence
o not just mentioning the topic but presenting the controlling idea (what you are saying
about the topic)
2. supporting sentences
3. concluding sentence ('clincher').

paragraphing in science

Paragraph length not too long and not too short

Paragraphs that are overly long can be tedious to read, and reduce coherency in your writing. On the
other hand, paragraphs that are overly short (consisting of only one or two sentences) can be
distracting for the reader, making your writing appear disjointed and less cohesive. The following is an
example of an essay with good content, but poorly constructed paragraphing.
Patient self care, lifestyle and stress
There are a number of lifestyle factors that have an effect on the health of an individual, particularly
when suffering from a heart condition.

Following the onset of his heart condition, Eric became aware of the need to modify his lifestyle. In
particular he realized that he had to reduce his consumption of alcohol, as he was previously a heavy
drinker.
Eric did a very stressful job, so occupation was also a significant factor affecting his health. He worked
long hours and describes his job at that time as extremely demanding.

Read the text below. Notice how the first paragraph introduces the broad theme for the
section, and the topic sentence in the second paragraph continues that theme.
Patient self care, lifestyle and stress
There are a number of lifestyle factors that have an effect on the health of an individual,
particularly when suffering from a heart condition.These include diet, exercise, social habits,
occupation and stress levels. In Eric's case, his social habits were particularly significant, as prior to
the onset of his condition he was accustomed to spending almost every night at his local hotel. In a
typical night he would consume several alcoholic drinks and smoke a number of cigarettes. At his
doctor's advice, he has now modified this behaviour, and only visits his local hotel once a week.
Another significant lifestyle factor affecting patients with heart conditions is
occupation. Clearly problems can arise where an individual with a heart condition has a high
pressure, stressful occupation. At the time of his first heart failure, Eric was working as an editor on a
national newspaper. He worked long hours, did shift work, had irregular meal breaks and sometimes
worked to very tight deadlines. In his own words, his job had 'an adverse effect' on his health it was
a significant cause of stress in his life at that time.
Although it is not possible to have a firm rule on the ideal length of a paragraph, what in your
view is a reasonable range to aim for in terms of the number of sentences?

Exercise
Choose a text that you have written previously, and examine your writing, focusing on the
paragraphing. Are your paragraphs of a reasonable length, or are they tending to be too long or too
short? Do your paragraphs have effective topic sentences? Note your writing style and what
modifications you need to make to produce more effective paragraphs.

Signposts
Imagine trying to find your way around a new city if there were no street signs or traffic signs. In
academic writing, signposts are very important. In a longer essay, it is not sufficient to simply outline
the intended essay structure in the introduction you need 'signposts' throughout the essay to remind
the reader where he has come from and to tell him where you plan to go next. Signposts can take the
form of words signalling the order in which ideas are presented or sentences explaining the transition
from one section of your writing to another.

Transition sentences
Example 1
Having examined the role of the liver in breaking down alcohol within the body it is now necessary
to consider the effects of excessive consumption of alcohol on other parts of the digestive system.
Example 2

To this point the focus has been on the potential health benefits of genetic modification of foods,
particularly in addressing specific dietary deficiencies. However, it is important to recognize
that genetic modification is not always motivated by a desire to address health issues. I will therefore
now consider some examples of genetic modification which appear driven more by marketing than
health considerations.
Example 3
In the above discussion several advantages of the proposed new surgical techniques have been
considered. It is important however to also examinesome potential disadvantages. In terms of
patient recovery times, for instance, there are real concerns regarding
Example 4
Clearly bioterrorism presents a number of serious challenges for law enforcement agencies in
Australia, and these have been outlined above. However, dealing with bioterrorism is even more
complex in regions where the impact may affect populations in several countries at once. This
requires agreements on jurisdiction and a high level of cooperation between enforcement agencies
from the different countries. Issues related to this situation will now be considered, with a focus
on Western Europe.

Reminders
Often in discussing a particular point within an essay we list several factors, sometimes using
'sequence markers' ( Firstly , Secondly, Thirdly). If there are a number of factors to consider, it is
useful to remind the reader of the point to which they relate. In the examples below the particular point
is underlined.

Firstly,
Secondly,
A third factor in healthy liver function is
You will notice this involves a linking word or phrase + restatement of particular or central point.
If there are several factors then a suitable phrase can be used to introduce additional ones:
Firstly,
Secondly,
Thirdly,
Another significant factor in assessing the risks of bioterrorism is
Another key implication of the shift to new surgical procedures is
A further factor to consider in the debate on genetic modification is
Finally,

An analytical approach
By setting essays as an important mode of assessment, universities are not simply aiming to assess
the ability of students to understand and recall information. Essay tasks are intended to assess your
ability to:

analyse concepts and arguments

synthesise ideas and evidence drawn from different sources
construct consistent and well-supported arguments
discuss an issue in a balanced way
evaluate the ideas and arguments of others
makejudgements and express informed opinion.

Lecturers often complain that students tend to write essays which demonstrate lower level thinking
skills, whereas what they are seeking is evidence of more complex thought.

Cognitive level of your response

From simplest to most difficult, the six key 'cognitive domains' (or thought processes) are:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

recall
comprehension
application
analysis
synthesis
evaluation.

It is important that your essays do not simply describe or reproduce key facts, or only outline the
perspectives of various writers, but that they go beyond that, introducing elements of analysis,
synthesis and evaluation.

What you need to do

When you plan an essay, and as you are in the process of writing an essay, check whether you are
addressing levels 4 to 6, or only the first 2 or 3 of the 'cognitive domains' listed above.
Adapted from Greentham, B 2001, How to write better essays, Palgrave, Houndmills, pp. 63-64.

Attribution of references
Careful thinking and note taking underpin good academic writing and appropriate acknowledgement
of sources. Keeping good bibliographic records of the texts you have read will save lots of time when
you are citing sources in your assignment later on.