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The grass is always green on the other side but Alma felt the walls of her apartment in
Trieste were much less limiting then any Sarajevo open space.
She was spending days there, on Via del Bosco 20, 3rd floor. She went out in the late
afternoons or evenings without leaving her neighborhood, just to visit her friends living
two streets away or to nearby coffee shop.
Her stay permit expired two years ago and this was her way of hiding.
It was a very comfortable space for her tiny body. She fed that tiny body with wine and
joints, some meal from Turkish fast food and sometimes she would cook a plate of pasta.
Alma moved to Trieste with her boyfriend Paolo.
Paolo and Alma met each other while Paolo was on vacation in Sarajevo.
Alma wanted to study English and Italian literature but she left out her plan quickly
because ,,party like rock star lifestyle seemed more attractive.
Everything was nice while they were spending money from Paolos family business.
It lasted for two years of their life together. They lived in such abundance that they could
afford cocaine.
Then after two years of their life in heaven, the co-owner of Paolos family business
embezzled almost all money from business investments and vanished. Later, as they have
heard , he escaped to Portugal.
That is how their ,,La dolce vita Triestina ended. The next thing they have to start to
think about was : To survive.
They were surviving with some money rests from family business, Paolo worked as doorto-door solar panels salesman, their friends would lend them money but they would never
return. Alma would got some job but was never able to keep it, since she was getting sick
all time. Of course, all her jobs were ,,black. Undeclared work.
Nights of partying became nights of fights.
Paolo, had chunky shape, bald headed. Alma used to saying how bald headed man look
sexy because they have dangerous look.
Their night fights were almost had the same scenario. Everything looked like cheesy
theater show.
On the wall of the corridor Paolos and Almas shadows had almost always the same
shape and same scene.
He would pulled her shirt with his chubby hands, putting her above the couch bed and
returning her back to couch, yelling in his bad Bosnian language: ,,Stronza, Slava from
Giulio and Fareed Andrea worked railway ticket checks that day. Their regular job was
train driver job but that day they were transferred to ticket checks. After a short chat,
Giulio, Fareed Andrea and Alma decided to return home together. They found out they
are neighbors.
Giulio and Fareed Andrea had the same hobby. Fucking. Some people fuck out of
enjoyment, some out of entertainment but Giulio and Fareed Andrea fucked to feel
accomplished. Fucking for them was the accomplishment!
Fareed Andrea asked Alma to go for a drink. To piazza Reppublica. ,,One more easy
woman to fuck. After they had two drinks, they took promenade along seaside path.
And just under the stairs, couple of meters away from the seashore. After a bit of her hand
job and rubbing against each others, he fucked her. He used all of his strength to hit her
interior. The fact that someone could see them in that half-darkness aroused him even
more.
In one moment, memories started to haunt Alma. The memories of her eighteen birthday.
She only had two vodkas mixed with orange juice then the water who worked for her
father raped her in toilet of the restaurant run by her family.
In the toilet , with his hand over her mouth. The fact that someone could caught him out,
made he feel more aroused. No, he was not scared. Alma feels the same guilt. Even today
She thinks how if she only have had one vodka instead of two , things would ended up
differently. The waiter later confessed everything, to Almas father. He said he is not sorry
and how he will repeat everything . Almas rape has not been reported to the Police. As
her mother said: Lets not shaming out family.
Alma and Fareed Andrea became friends. The situation looked perfect.
In front of that poor Alma, Fareed Andrea seemed to himself A GREAT MAN.
He taught Alma to speak Italian language. He was buying to her gifts and everyday
things.
They were spending their afternoon naps together, listening Shopens music .In the
evening would returned to Via del Bosco 20, two streets away.
Alma knew she could not move with Fareed Andrea. Fareed Andrea has always thought
how he deserves better. He deserves the best. He did not liked immigrant women. He
knew immigrant women just wanted to get marry to an Italian man. Fareed Andrea was a
son of Iranian men and Italian woman. He had a clear vision of his future with welleducated , rich Italian woman. Despite a clear vision of his future , he was spending most
of free time enjoying hot asses of Brazilian men and women and other Latin American
people. He enjoyed sex with those people in his town or when he could not find them, he
would just travel to some of Latin American countries.
Alma fell in love with his Savior. Her hope to move in his apartment started to grow.
They were spending their weekends together. They were isolated for two days, drinking a
bit better wine the usually and smoking joints . He did not fuck her anymore. He entered
her relaxed. She was the one who dictated the game. Skin pores of his light mocha bold
head were releasing drops of sweat and looked more transparent then on Paolos bold
head. During ,,the game with Alma those dropes were traveling from a top of his head
After she entered in seventh months of pregnancy, Alma decided to return home. Her
family will accept her. It is of great honor to take you a hand of your grand child and go
for a walk. Almas friend, an Italian women , was trying to explain Alma why decision of
keeping the child should be just her decision. Not decision of her family. Not Emins
decision.
The only answer Alma gave to her friend was : Now, you are speaking like feminists.
Feminist dont shave their legs and they hate men. They are disgusting.
Almas body stopped to be her body since her 18. birthday. The waiter put his hand over
her mouth that day and unzipped his trousers that day. Since then, the others decided
about her body.
The reasons for her leave was the same as for her arrival. The people. If there is the spirit
of province , persons live their lives accordingly to the people. If there is a spirit of
liberty, persons live their lives accordingly to themselves and without: ,,What the people
is going to say?
Fareed Andrea made the going away party for Alma. He even painted a very good
portrayed for her. In his mind, he was repeating a mantra : ,,Go, Alma, go and dont
return.
Paolo shed a couple of tears while he was packing Almas things. He knew this time , she
is defiantly leaving. For the citizens of Bosnia and Herzegovina , EU countries approved
no visa stay up to three months. The last time Alma went home, she reported the lost of
her passport and got a new one. She does not have to hide herself inside of Paolos car
trunk as she usually did when she was returning home. Paolo was driving her home for
the last time. It was a goodbye gift. Although she was leaving the country of her dreams.
She felt happy. She was about to become a mother. That is a serious thing.
She was hoping that Emil will divorce from his wife and she will move to Germany.
In late October morning, Alma was checking her things. Everything was packed in three
middle size suitcases. Paolo is now instead of Alma putting , Almas suitcases in the
trunk.
Alma took a backseat and was watching the gray buildings and each and every street
corner. She was trying to memorized them as much as she could. Paolo was trying to
make his mind empty and just to drive.
Fareed Andrea was watching from the window of his room, how Paolos car is slowly
disappearing in the distance. He opended the window and yelled the loudest he could:
,,Go, Alma. Go and dont return.
During next ten days Fareed Andrea was sitting in the angle of his room. He could feel
his beard growing so fast.
He was repeating for nine days : ,,Go, Alma, go and dont return.
On tenth day he exhaustively pronounced: ,,Alma, please return. Alma, please return and
please stay! Alma dont go away!