Family System

In Islam
By
Dr.ZeenatKauther

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Islamon
Islam -
#s
onSexuality)
Sexuality,Reproduction
and
and
Reproduction

Family System
Family System

PaperPresented
Paper Presentedto the
the
InternationalConference
International ConferenceofNGOs
of NGOs
Seoul,Korea
Seoul) Korea
10-16October
10-16 October1999
1999
By
Dr. Zeenath
Zeenath Kausar
Kausar

World Assembly ofMuslim youth"

Assembly ofMrnlim Youth,
(wAtvfY)
(WAMY)
Riyadh,
Riyadh) Saudi
Saudi Arabia
Arabia
 PREFACE
PREF ACE
As the
the title
tide of
of the
the paper
paper suggest
sugests,s, Dr. Zeenat
Zeenathh Kausar
Kausarhas
has
attemgted
attemp ted to presen
present the Islamic
t the Islamic perspec
perspective
tive on sexuality,
se<uality,
reproduction
reprod uction and
and family
family system
system..
Family
Family values
values play
play an
an import
imporantant role
rore from the Islamic
Islamic
point ofof view.
view. Islam
Islam seeks
seeks to create
create durable
durable bases
bases for
relation
relationship
ship within
within the familr,
family, which is
is the buildin
buildingg block
of
gf a society.
society. When
when each
each of these
of theseblocks
blocks is
is firmly
nrmlyilaced,
placed,
the " social
social structu
struch*ere ofof the
the society
society rests
rests on aa strong
founda
foundation.
tion. Where
wfhere the
the cohesiv
cohesive
e bond getsgets diluted
diluted,
, the
th;
society
societybegins
beginsto tumble
nrmble.
The Wester
westem n society
society present
presents s aa glaring
glaringexampleof
example of this this
phenom
phenomenon.
enon. The growingrovdng g numbe
tt.t*b.r r of
or single-
rittgt.-parent
parent
families in the wake
families wake of of rampant divorce
divorces s has created aa
has"created
sihration
situatio n in which uninhib ""*p*t
uninhibited
ited sex
ro has
has culmin
culminatedated in the
the
outbrea
outbreak k of ArDs and
of AIDs and other sexually
sexuallytransm
transmitted
itted disease
diseases.
s.
An import
rmporant ant factor for thethe breakd
breakdownown ofof marriag
marriageses in
the
the West
west is is the
the fact
fact that marital
marial relation
relations s in Wester
sTestem n
societie
societiess are
are govern
govemed ed by materia
material l conside
considerations,
rations, such
such as
as
wealth,
wealth' beauty
_beauty or fame. fame. These
These are are epheme
ephemeral ral values
values
doome
doomed d to self-ero
self-erosion
sion in the
the course
courseof time. When
of time. when that
that
happens,
happen s, the fragile relation
the fragile relationship
ship gets
gets swerve
swerved d and
and the
marriag
marriage e ends
endsin divorce
divorce.
By contras
contrasg t, marital
marital ties
ues in the
the Muslim society
society are
are on
firmer ground
Furner ground.. Familie
Familiess seeking
seeking alliance
afriances
s also
also look for
partners
partner qdth aa strong moral charact
s with character,
er, among
among other
things.
thirp. Thus
Thus ifif the
the married
married life of
of aa couple
couple become
becomiss aa bit
bumpy,, they
bumpy they still
still pull on for th~
the sake
sakeof their childre
oittt.ir childrenn to
whom they
- th.y owe
owe az religiou
religious
s obligat
obtigation
ion to bring up
properly.
properl y.
Let me
I-et me conclude
conclude with these words
with these words of wisdom from
ofwisdom from Cdiph
Caliph
Omar. Once
Omar. Once aa man
man sought
sought his
his advice on divorcing his wife.
advice on divorcing his wife.
When Cdiph
When Caliph Omar
Omar asked him for
asked him the reason,
for the the man
reason, the man
replied: "I'm
replied: "I'm no more in love with
no more with her."
her." Whereupon,
Whereupon,
Omar retorted:
Caliph Omar retorted: "Are families built upon love alone?
families built alone?
What about inter-family relationship
\X/hat shared life
relationship and the shared
with their children?"
with children?"

Dr. Maneh
Dr. Maneh FI.
H. Al-Johani
Al-Johani
Secretary General
Secretary General
Assembly of
World Assembly (WAMY)
of Muslim Youth CX/AlvfY)
Ftiyadh,Saudi~bi~
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
 ISLAM ON
ISLAM ONSEXUALITY,
SEXUALITY,
REPRODUCTION AND FAMILY
REPRODUCTION AND FAMILY
SYSTEM
SYSTEM

Introduction:
Introduction:

1.1.Life
Life an
anIntegrated
IntegratedWhole:
Whole:

Islam, which
Islam, which implies
implies willing
willing and and complete
completesubmission
submission to
to Allah
Allah
(tn"tl isis aa complete
(swt) completeway way of life embracing
of life embracingall all aspects
aspectsof lifelife
including sexual,
including sexual,reproductive,
reproductive, maritaland
marital andfamilial.
familial. It underlines
underlines
two important
two importantpoints:
points:
Firstly, Islam
Firstly, Islam perceives
perceiveslifelife asas an
an integrated
integratedwhole
wholeandandfor
for this
this
reasonsexuality
reason sexualityand and reproduction
reproductionare partsof the
areparts thewhole
wholeIslamic
Islamic
systemof life,
system life, not
not outside
outsideit.it.
secondly, Islam
Secondly, Islam which
which is is aa Divinely
Divinely ordained
ordainedsystem
systemof life,
life,
possesses
possesses injunctionsand
injunctions and regulations
regulationsin itsits texts
texts- the
the Qur'an and
eur'an and
the Prophetic
the Prophetic traditions
traditions for for the
the regulation
regulation of of sexuality,
sexuality,
reproductionand
reproduction andall
all that
that are
are related
related to these.
these.

Islamlc
Islamic philosophy
philosophy of Tawhid Tawhid integrates
integrates all all aspects
aspects ofof life
life.
Tawhid
Tawhid implies
implies unity
unity of of God,
God, unity
unity of of the
the prophets,
prophets, unity
unity of
of life,
life,
unity
unity of of mankind,
mankind, unity of the
unity of the purpose
purpose of of creation,
creation, unity
un,ity oiof
knowledge,
knowledge, etc. etc. The
The fundamental beliefs --
fundamental beliefs
i)
i) That
That there
there is no
no god
god but Allah (swt)(swt) and the prophet
and the Prophet Mohammad
Mohammad
(pbuh)
(pbuh) is is the
the last
last messenger
messenger of ofAllah
Allah (surt)
(swt) for
for the
the whole
whole mankind;
mankind;
ii)
ii) That
That man's
man's life
life in
in this
this rvorrd
world is is temporary
temporary and and he/she
he/she has
has toto
follow
follow Allah's
Allah's ordained
ordained wayway of of rife
life (Isllm)
(Islam) in in all
all aspects
aspects to
to be
be
successful
successful here
here and
and inin Hereafter and~
Hereafter and;
iii)
iii) That
That with
with Allah
Allah rests
rests all
all the final judgements
the final judgements of ofrewards
rewards andand
punishments
punishments in in the
the akhirah
akhirah (life,
(life, hereaftei;
hereafter) are all based
are all based on
on these
these
unity,
Unity, Tawhid.
Tawhid. Hence,
Hence, questions
questions on'sexuality'
on 'sexuality' and'reproduction,
and 'reproduction'
are
are also
also anchored
anchored on on the
the Tawhidic
Tawhidic paradigm.
paradigm.
 II.
II. Vicegerency -- PurPose
VicegerencY Purpose of
ofLife:
Life:

The very
The very raison
raison d'etre
d'etre of
ofman's
man's creation accordingto
creation according tothe
the Qur'an
Qur'an
is the perfonnance of the vicegerency
is the peribrmance of the vicegerency of
ofAllah
Allah (swt).
(swt). The
The Qur'an
Qur1an
says:
says:

Behold Thy
Behold Thy Lord
Lord said
said to
to the
the angels:
angels:
II will
will create
create aa vicegerent
vicegerent onon earth.
earth.

Hence, any
Hence, any thought
thought and
and activity
activity of man in
of man Islam, be
in Islam, sexual or
that sexual
be that or
reproductive, rhould
reproductiue, should be related to this purpose of
ultimately related
be ultimately to this purpose of life
life
vicegerency of
vicegerency of Allah (swt)
(swt).

Sexuality and ReProduction:

Sexualifyand Reproduction:

With this
this brief background
backgroundofIslamic easier now
worldview, it is easier
of Islamicworldview,
to look into the Islamic texts on sexuality
to look into the Islamictextson sexuality and
and reproduction.
reproduction.

Sexuality in
Sexuality in Islam
Islam is is not
not trivialized
trivializedas man'sanimalistic
as man's function
animalisticfunction
to be tackled by his own
to be tackled by his own whim whim and
and fancy.
fancy. Sexuality
Sexuality is
is perceived
perceived
as
as one
one of
of the
the essential
essentialparts
parts of man's life to
man's life to be and
regulatedand
be regulated
disciplined
disciplinedthrough
throughthe
theproper guidance.
properguidance.

A
A man
man and
and aa woman
woman in in Islam
Islamcan enterinto
canenter relationship
sexualrelationship
into sexual
'sign'of Allah (swt)
asaa 'sign'
only
only after
after marriage, reckonedas
which isis reckoned
marriage,which of Allah (swt)
and
andthe
theways
waysof of the
theprophets
prophets', ', The
TheQur1an says:
Qur'ansays:
And
And among
amongHisHis Signs
Signsisisthis thatHe
thisthat He created spouses
createdspouses for youfrom
for you from
yourselves,
yourselves, that
thatyeyemay dwellin
maydwell intranquility
tranquilitywith them.
with them.
We
We indeed
indeedsent
sentmessengers
messengers before you(0
beforeyou (OMohammad)
Mohammad)and andWeWe
assigned
assigned them wives and children.
themwivesandchildren.

ItIt implies
impliesthat
that inin Islam,
Islam,the basisof
verybasis
thevery themarital
ofthe relationship
maritalrelationship
between
betweenhusband
husbandand andwife throughwhich
wife through can enter
they can
which they into
enterinto
sexual relationship
relationship is
is 'love'. Furthermore,
'love'. Furthermore, Allah
Allah (swt)
(swt) implants
implants
sexual

2
this 'love'ininhusband
this'love' husband and
andwife
wifetowards
towardseach
eachother
otherso thatthey
sothat theymay
may
live
live inin peace
peaceandandharmony
harmony. . Such such an Islamic attitude
an Islamic attitudetowards
towards
sexualit
sexualityy goesgoes entirely
entirely against
againstthe the mere
mere lusty
lusty cravings
cravings in in
man/wo
man/woman man andand its itssatisfact
satisfaction
ion through
throughlegitima
legitimate orillegitim
te or illegitimate
ate
ways.
ways. In InIslam,
Islam,itit isisthe 'love' and
the'love' andthe
thestrong
strongcovenan
covenant (nikah)that
t (nikah) that
unite
unite manman and andwoman
womannot 'force'or
not 'force' or tempora
temporary arrangements
ry arrangem ents
outside
outsidemarriag
marriage e or
orcohabita
cohabitation.
tion. ForForthis reason,all
thisreason, alltypes
typei of pre-
of pre-
marital
marital andandextra
extramarital
maritalrelations
relationships,
hips, fornicati
fornication, illitit carnality
on, illicit
are
are complet
completely
ely condem
condemned ned isisIslam
Islamand
andman
manis is ordained
ordainednot "u*ality
nor ro go
to go
nearerto
nearer to adultery
adultery . TheTheQur'an says:
Qur'ansays:
Nor come
Nor comenigh nighto
to adultery
adultery
Foritit isisaashamefu
For shameful (deed)
l (deed)
And an
And anevil,
evil,opening
openingthe
theroad
road
(to other
(to otherevils).
evils).

Islam thus
Islam thus makes
makes aa distincti
distinction
on between
between sexuality
sexuality that
that is
is
constrained
constrai ned andand disciplin
disciprined
ed through
through marital
maritar relations
relationship
hip and
and
sexuality,
sexuality which transgre
, which transgresses
sses morality
morarity and
and spiritual
spirituality
ity and turns
andturns
animalism.
animalis Islam does
m. Islam does not
not overlook
overlookthe
the sexual
sexuardrive
drive in man
man but
but
institutionalize
institutio through marriag
nalize it through marriagee roto protect
protect man
man from
immorality.
immoral ity. The prophetMoham
TheProphet Mohammadmad (pbuh)
(pbuh) said:
said:
o young men!
o young men! Those
Thoseamong
among you
you who
-ftorwho can
can support
support a wife should
should
marry
marry forfor it restrains
restrains *y*r
eyes from casting
casting t.uir
(evil grunces)
glances) and
and
preserves
preserves one
one from
from immorality.
immorality.
Islam is quite
Islam is quite sensitive
sensitive in a[
all issues
issues pertaining
pertaining toto marriage
marriage and
and
sexuality.
sexuality. AsAs sexuarity
sexuality outside
outside maniage
marriage is iilegTtim"i.,
illegitimate, *u.riug*
marriage
without
without the
the proper
proper consent
consent isis declared
declared invar-id.
invalid. TheThe rrophet
Prophet
Mohammad
Mohammad (pbuh)
(pbuh) said:
said:
'A
'A widow
widow shail
shall not
not be
be married
married until
until she
she be
be consulted,
consulted, nor
nor shail
shall aa
virgin
virgin be'
be, married
married until
until her
her consent
consent bebe asked;
asked; and
and that
that aa woman
woman
rip^e
ripe in
in years
years shail
shall have
have her
her consenf
consent asked
asked i"in *--"g"
marriage and
and ififshe
she
refuses,
refuses, she
she shall
shall not
not be
be married
married byby force.,
force.'
Therefore, marriage
Therefore, marriage in Islam,
Islam, unlike
unlike radical
radical feminism neither an
feminism is neither an
imprisonment
imprisonment for woman
woman that
that is
is thrust
thrust or forced
forced upon
upon her as a
her as
punishment nor enslavement
punishment enslavement that
that makes
makes her subservient to man.
her subservient man.
Marriage is a covenant
Marriage covenant of
of faith
faith and
and consent
consent and
and a bond love and
of love
bond of and
concern.
concern.

Marital relationship
Marital relationship in Islam
Islam is neither
neither patnarchal
patriarchal and political nor
and political
economic and sexual
economic and sexual for its own sakesake as against the
as against the common
common
perception of gender
perception of gender feminists,
feminists, but moral
moral and spiritual. In fact,
and spiritual' fact,
husband
husbandandand wife complement
complementeach each other since husband
Islam since
other in Islam husband
provides
provideseconomic
economicand
and sexual security to his
sexualsecurity and his
his wife and his children
children
and
and his
his wife guards her chastity
guardsher chastity and
and her
her husband's possessions as
husband's possessions as
her
her moral
moralobligation. The Qur'an
obligation The Qur'an says:
says:

Men
Men are
arethe
the protectors
protectors
And maintainersof
And maintainers of women,
women,because
becauseGod
God
Has giventhe
Hasgiven the ones
onesmore (strength)
more(strength)
Than
Thanthe
the other,
other, and
and because
because
They
They support
supportthem
them
From
From their
their means
means
Therefore
Thereforethe
the righteous
righteouswomen
women
Are
Are devoutly
devoutlyobedient
obedientand guard
andguard
In
In (the
(thehusband's)
husband's) absence
absence
What
WhatGodGodwould
would have
havethem guard.
themguard.

Thus,
Thus, husband
husbandand and wife Islamcomplement
wife in Islam complementeach eachother anddo
otherand do
not
not compete
competeforfor domination
dominationand
andsupremacy.
supremacy.TheyThey are friends and
are friends and
co-partners
co-partnersinin their co-venture-vicegerency
their co-venture-vicegerency Allah(swt).
of Allah Both
(8wt). Both
enjoy
enjoy rights
rights and duties towards
and duties towards each other and
each other and both have
both have
obligations
obligations to (swt). This
Allah (swt).
to Allah is very
This is very clearly
clearly stated in the
stated in the
Qur'anic verse which
Qur'anicverse proclaimsequality
which proclaims in the
equality in the very
very creation
creationqf
of
man
manand pointingout
womaq pointing
andwoman, theircreation
outtheir from aa single
creationfrom singlesoul:
soul:

oO mankind,
mankind, be your duty
consciousof your
be conscious your Lord,
duty to your Lord, Who
Who created
created
you from
you from aa single
singlesoul,
soul,created like nature,
createdof like her mate,
nature,her mate,and from
andfrom
the two
the createdand
two created manymen
spreadmany
andspread menand women;and
andwomen~ andbe mindful
be mindful

4
of -your
of your duty
duty to
to God
God by
by Whose
whosename
nameyou
youappeal
appear to
to one
oneanother
another
andto
and to (the
(theties
tiesot)
of) womb.
womb. Verily
VerilyGod
Godwatches
witch.jouer you.
over you.
Even if
Even if the
the sexual
sexualsatisfact
satisfaction
ion isis perfonn
performed
ed by
by man
manandandwoman
woman
while being
while being mindful
mindful of
of its
itsetiquette
etiqurtti as
ur ordained
ordainedinin the
theQur'an
eur,anand
and
sunnah, itit is
Sunnah, is reckone
reckonedd as
as ibadah
tbadnh and andsadaqah
sadaqah(charity)
(charity),
. The
The
ProphetMoham
Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)said:
mad (pbuh) said.

Did Allah
Did Allah not
not make
makefor you that
for you thatfrom
from which
which you you can givesadaqa?
cangive sadaqdl
verily, every
Verily, every time
time you
you saysaySubhana
suhhanaAllah,
Alrah, there
ihereis is aJsadaqua-and
sadaqua_and
for every
for everytime
time you
you say
sayAllahu
Allahu Akbar
Akbarthere
thereis is aa sadaqa;
sa*qa;-
Every time
Every time youyou say
say Laa
Laa ilaha
irahaill
iil Allah,
Ailah, there
thereis is aaiadaqaand
sadaqat and for
for
you sayAlhamdu
lurry time you say
every time Alhamdulillah,
li/lah, there
thereisis aa sadaqa;
sadaqa;
Every act
Every act of enjoinin
enjoining.g what
what isis right
right there
thereis is sadaqa
sacraqaand
and inin every
every
act of
act forbidding
of forbiddi evil there
ng evil there isis ai sadaqa.
sadaqa, and and in in your sexual
fo.r, sexual
relationsalso
relations alsothere
thereis
is aa sadaqa.
sadaqa.

Thereupon
Thereup the compan
on the companions
ions asked:
asked:0o Messeng
Messengerer of Allah!
Alrah!Is
Is there
there
aa reward
rewardfor
for one
oneof us
us when
whenhehe satisfies
satisfieshis
his sexual
sexuardesire?
desire?
The
Thg.lpptet replied:Don't
Prophet replied: Don't you
you see,
see,had
had he
hesatisfied
satisfied ititwiththe
with the
forbidden
forbidde would there
n would there not haue 6een
not have been aa sin upon him?
sin upon him? TheThe
companions
compan said:"yes".
ions said: "yes".

r$ Prophet (pbuh)
The froghet (pbuh) said:
said: In the
the same
same way,
way, when
when he
he satisfies
satisfies it
with the
the lawful,
lawful, there
there is
is for him
him in that
that a reward.
reward.
Tlrus,
Thus, sexuality
sexuality is never
never perceived
perceived by Isram
Islam as
as a mere
mere carnar
carnal desire
desire
of
of man
man to be be fulfilled
fulfilled in any
any animalistic
animalistic *uy.r
way as tr*
he ft"ur*r.
pleases. eut
But
man
man in Islam
Islam is ordained
ordained to folrow
follow certain.tiq*tt.
certain etiquette in his
his se*uar
sexual
relationship
relationship soso that
that he
he shourd
should remember
remember Allatr
Allah trortl
(swt) euen
even uerore
before
this
this act
act and
and do notnot fall
fall a prey
prey to the
the satanic;;ill
Satanic trap. ihi,
This can
can be
be
easily
easily gleaned
gleaned tkough
through a careful
careful reading
reading of few prophetic
of iew Prophetic
traditions,
traditions, either
either practiced
practiced or spoken
spoken by him
him Jn
on these
these matters.
matters.

5
It is exhorted
exhorted that
that the
the husband should place
husband should place his hand on the
his hand the
forelock of her
forelock of her wife at the
the time of consummating the
of consummating marriage and
the marriage and
pray for Allah's
pray Allah's blessings.
blessings. The Mohammad (pbuh)
Prophet Mohammad
The Prophet (pbuh) said:
said:

When any
When of you
any of you marries
marries a woman
woman he he should hold her foreloch
should hold forelock,
mention Allah
mention Allah most
most high, and pray
high, and pray for HisHis blessings saying:0
blessings saying: O
Allah, I ask
Allah, the good
ask You for the good in her
her and
and the good with which You
the good
have created
have her; and
created her; and I seek refuge in You from the
seekrefuge the evil in her and
her and
the which You have
the evil with which created her.
have created her.

Furthermore, according
Furthermore, according to some
someother traditions, it is desirable
other traditions, if
desirableif
the husband
the husband presents
presents to his something to drink to show
his wife something show
kindness to her
kindness andto offer prayer
her and together to remain
prayer together remain closely ever
closely ever
after
after for the good and
the good and seek
seekrefuge (s.w.t) from the
refugein Allah (s.w.t) evil. It
the evil.
is also
also evidenced
evidencedfrom
from several
severaltraditions that it is
traditionsthat is commendable
commendableto
make 'wudhu' (ablution)
make 'wudhu' (ablution) after
after sex
sex before
before sleep obligatoryto
sleepbut obligatory
take
take bath
bath after
after sex
sexbefore
before or after
after sleep
sleepwhenever possible.
wheneverpossible.

It is
is quite
quite obvious
obvious from the the above
above discussion that sexuality
discussion that senrality in
Islam
Islam is neither perceived as
neither perceived as an
an objective
objective ofof life to bebe totally
immersedin it with no
immersed no other moral and
other moral and spiritual
spiritual considerations
considerationsnor
aa beastly
beastlyact be fulfilled throu,~
act to be throu,ghany
any way
way and meanfor its own
and mean
sake.
sake. Islam
Islamdisciplines
disciplinessexual manand
desireof man
sexualdesire andalso
alsoexpects from
expectsfrom
him
him that
that he
he should rememberAllah
should remember (swt) even
Allah (swt) evenwhile
while joining his
his
wife for sex sexand
andeven
evenpray (sw) to protect
pray to Allah (swt) protecthis
his child
child from
evil, if
evil, if he granted aa child
he is granted child after
after the
the sex. is clear
sex. It is clear from
from the
the
prayerand
following prayer andthe
the Prophetic
Prophetictradition:
tradition:

the name
In the name of Allah, Allah! Keep
Allah, 0O Allah! Keepus
us away
awayfrom the
the devil,
devil, and
and
keep the
keep the devil
devil away from that
away from that which
which You may grant us
may grant us
(offspring).
(offspring).
TheProphet
The ProphetMohammad (pbuh)said:
Mohammad(pbuh) said:

After that,
After that, if Allah
Allah decrees
decreesthat
that they
theywill have
haveaa child,
child,the
the devil
devil
will never
neverbebe able
ableto
to harm
harmthat
that child.
child.

6
ItIt also impliesthat
alsoimplies Islamnot
thatIslam notonly
onlyenjoins
enjoinsman
mantoto remember
rememberAllah
Allah
(swt) before
(swt) beforehis sexualrelationship
hissexual relationshipbut
butalso
alsomakes
makeshimhimconscious
conscious
of his
of his responsibility
responsibilitytowards
towardshis prospective
hisprospective child
chirdtoto protect
protecthim
him
fromthe
from thecunning
cunningSatan.
Satan.

Family: Parents
Family: ParentsObligations
ObligationsTowards
TowardsChildren
Children

sexuality, reproduction
Sexuality, reproduction and and children's
children's responsibility
responsibility are are
interconnected
interconnected in Islam
in Islam through
throughananinstitution,
institution,family.
family. Family
Familyis is
consideredas
considered as the frrstschool
the first schoolof
of children
childrenwhere
wherethey
theyare
arenot
not only
only
nurtured but
nurtured but also
also taught
taught basic
basic morals
morals and
and etiquette
etiquette sosothat
that the
the
childrencan
children can appreciate
appreciate Islamic
Islamicethos
ethosand
andvalues.
values.A stable
stabrefamily
family
will give
will give rise
rise to
to aa stable
stablesociety
societyand
andaa stable
stablecivilization.
civilization. All this
this
requiresthat
requires that both parentsand
both parents childrenshould
andchildren shouldbe mindful of their
be mindful their
obligationstowards
obligations towards each eachother
otheralong
alongwith
with their
their rights
rightssosothat
that they
they
may love
may love and
and respect
respecteacheach other.
other. Islam
Islam enjoins
enjoinsits
its adherents
adherentsto
love children
love children and
and to to be
be mindful
mindful of their
their responsibilities
responsibilities towards
towards
them from the
them from thevery
verybeginning
beginningof their
their inception
inceptionand
andeven
evenearlier
earlierto
it. The
it. TheQur'an says:
Qur'ansays:

And be
And be mindful
mindfulof your
your duty
duty to God whose name
God in whose name you
you appeal
appeal
to one
to oneanother
anotherand
andto the
the ties
ties of
of the
the womb.
womb.

Thus, Islam emphasizes

emphasizes that parents
that
Jhus, Islam parents should realize
should
'from that the proper
realizethat proper
development
development of of the
the child
child begins
begins 'from the
the mother's
mother's womb itself.
itself
FI:l*
Hence the
the parents
parents should
should be concerned
concerned about
about their prospective
prospective
child
child from
from the
the very
very beginning.
beginning.

It
It has
has been
been scientifically
scientifically proved
proved that a pregnant
pregnant woman
woman should
should
abstain
abstain from
from alcoholic
alcoholic drinks
drinks and
and narcotics
narcotics and
and avoid tensions. IfIf
avoid tensions.
she
she fails
fails toto consider
consider alr these precautionary
all these precautionary measures,
measures, anyany
complication
complication in in her
her own
own health
health andthat
and that of
ofthe
the child in in the
the wom6
womb
can
can hardly
hardly bebe prevent:d
prevented. ftIt is
is also
also pointed
pointed out "iito
out that
that the relationship
the relationship
between
between thethe prospective
prospective moth*r
mother and thethe prospective
prospective father
father should
should
not
not be
be conflict-ridden because itit"nd
conflict-ridden because advers*ty
adversely uiT*rt,
affects thethe mental
mental and
and

7
physical
physica l health the prospec
heatth of the prospective and eventua
mother and
tive mother lly the
eventually
tive
prospective
prospec child.
child. Islam
Islam through
through the
the above
above quoted
quoted verse
verse
emphati
empiratically makesit clear
cally makes parentsshould
that parents
clear that shouldbebe mindful of
of their
dutlestowards
duties their children
towardstheir children from the
the very inception.
inception'

commands
Islam comman
Islam ds its believer
believerss not care of
take care
not only to take physical
the physical
of the
upbringing
upbring of their
ing of children but also
their children educational,
also their educational, moral
moral and
and
spiritual develop
spiritual The Qur'an
ment. The Qur'an
development. says:
says:

o
o you who
you strive to protect
believe! Strive
who believe! yourselves
protectyourselv and your wives
es and
the fire.
children from the
andchildren
and fire.

Obvious ly, the

obviously, best way
the best ng children
protecting
way of protecti from the fire is by
children frol lhe
providinig adequat
providin adequatee educatio n and
education proper training.
and proper More than
training' .More the
than the
thi material
and the property,
materialproperty children
, children require
require best
best education
educatio n
wealth and
wealth
real success
for their real success here
heie and
ind in the
the Hereafter.
Hereafte r. The
The Prophet
Prophet
Moham
Mohammad (Pbuh)said:
mad (pbuh) said:

that aa father
all that
Of all give to his
cangive
father can the best
childrenthe
his children their good
best is their good
educatio
educationn and
and training.
training-

the contemp
In the contemporary age, where
orary age, Muslim Ummah
where Muslim Ummah is facing facing
multitud es of
multitudes intellectual
intellect ual challeng
challenges, es, the
the above
above Prophetic
Prophet ic tradition
tradition
gleater focus.
;."dr greater
needs childrenare
Unless children
focus. Unless mentally well fed
are mentally fed with
education and
proper"education
proper become
they become
skills, they
and skills, easily
easily ble to
susceptible
suscepti
culture and
alien culture
alien and s.
lifestyles.
lifestyle Today's
Today's children
children are
are tomorrow's
tomorro w's
future.
future. The
The strong
strong foundation
foundati on of the
the future
future prospects
prospec ts of
of Islamic
Islamic
and civilizat
culture and
culture dependson
ion depends
civilization educational
strongeducatio
on strong foundation
nal foundation
the children
of the children. deems
. It deems necessary
necessa ry for them
them to be
be well acquainted
acquainted
of the
the dominant
dominan t ideologi es,
ideologies, as
as well
well as,
as, Islam
Islam as
as the
the compreh ensive
comprehensive
systemof life so
system sothat shouldbe
they should
thatthey modelsin the
role models
the role
be the the future
future
takecare
to take
to Ummah's
the Ummah
careof the 's respons ibility
responsibility vis-a-vis
vis-a-vi s mankind'
mankind . The
The
teaches its
its adherents
adheren ts to pray
pray to Allah (sovt)
(swt) for their
their
Qu/an teaches
Qur'an
theseaspiratio
childrenwith these
children ns-.
aspirations-'

8
My Lord
My Lordmake
makememekeep prayerand
keepprayer and(also)
(also)let
letmy
myoffspring
offspring(do
(doso)
so)
Our Lord
Our Lord accept
acceptmy
my appeal!
appeal! Our
OurLord,
Lord,forgive
forgivemy
myparents
parentsand
and
me.
me.

our Lord!
Our Lordl Grant
Grant us
usininour
ourspouses
spouses and
andour
ouroffspring
offspringthe
thecomfort
comfort
ofour
of oureyes
eyesand
andmake
makeususaamodel
modelfor
forthe
theneedful.
needful.

ItIt also
alsoimplies
impliesthat that Islam
Islam completely
completelyrejects
rejectsthethe perception
perceptionof of
those who
those who look look to to women
women and and children
children as as burden
burdenor or asas an
an
oppressed
oppressed class. In
class. In fact,
fact,Islam
Islaminspires
inspiresmen
mento to look
look atattheir
theirwives
wives
and children
and childrenas asthethecomforters
comfortersof of their
theireyes,
eyes,asastheir
theirsource
sourceofjoy,
ofjoy,
peaceand
peace and solace
solaceand and not notaa suppressed
suppressed and
andoppressed
oppressed class
classtoto be
be
dominatedand
dominated andover-powered.
over-powered.Man's Man'sdomination
dominationand andsuppression
suppression
of woman
of woman and and children
childrengo go against
againstthe
thevery
veryspirit
spiritof Islam,
Islam,which
which
assertsthat 'commandis only for
that 'command
asserts is only for Allah',
Allah',not
not for
for man.
man. TheThetime
time
when aa child
when child is is born,
born,thetheIslamic
Islamicclarion
clarioncall
calrthat 'thereis
that 'there is no
no god
god
but Allah'
but Allah' is
is conveyed
conveyedinto into his
hisears,
ears,which
which implies
impliesthatthat he
he should
should
submit to
submit to none
nonesave saveAllah.
Allah. Besides,
Besides,it isis also
arsoevident
evidentfrom
from oneoneof
the traditions
the traditions that that whenever
wheneveraa child child in the prophet's (pbuh)
the Prophet's (pbuh)
householdbegins
household beginsto speak, speak,the prophet (pbuh)
the Prophet (pbuh)thought
thought himhim the
the
second verse
second verse of Surah surah al-Furqan
al-Furqanwhich
which gives
gives the
the message
message of of
Allah's Sovereignty
Allah's Sovereignty and and thethe Unity
Unity of of God
God (Tawhid).
(Tawhid). The The
translation
translatioJ:l of its
its verse
verse is as as follows:
follows:

He
He to Whom
Whom belongs
belongs
The
The dominion
dominion ofof the
the heavens
heavens
And
And the
the earth-
earth- no
no son
son
Has
Has He begotten,
begotten, nor Has
Has He
A partner
A partner in His dominion
dominion
It
It is
is He
He Who created
created
All
All things,
things, and
and ordered
ordered them
them
In due proportions.
In due proportions.

so
So from
from the
the very
very beginning,
beginning, Islam
Islam emphasizes
emphasizes that
that children
children should
should
be
be ingrained
ingrained with
with the
the Tawhidic
Tawhidic message
message and and that
that they
they should
should
willingly
willingly submit
submit to
to none
none but
but Ailah.
Allah. ItIt dols
does not
not however
however mean
mean that
that

9
they
they are
are not
not. expected
expected toto obey
obey their
their parents
parentsrather
ratherIslam
Islam enjoins
enjoins
children
childrento
to be
be good
goodto
to their
their parents
parentswhich
which shall
shall be
be discussed
discussedlater.
later.

Islam
Islam also
also encourages
encouragesthat that both
both parents,
parents,mother
mother and
and father
father should
should
express
expresstheir
their utmost
utmost love love toto their
their children,
children, give
give them
them time,
time, play
play
with
with them
them andand cheer
cheer them
them up up through
through many
many ways of of interaction
interaction
with
with them.
them. It It is
is reported
reported that
that Hadrat
Hadrat Amir
Amir (may
(may Allah be be pleased
pleased
with
with him)
him) whowho held held aa high position in
high position in the
the government
government during the the
reign of
reign of Hadrat
Hadrat Umar Umar (may(may Allah be be pleased
pleased with him) once once
visited
visited the houseof
the house of Hadrat
Hadrat Umar
Umar (may
(may Allah be be pleased
pleasedwith him)
and
and was
was surprised
surprised to to see
seethat
that few children had had mounted
mounted the chest
chest
of
of Caliph
Caliph andand were
were engaged
engagedin playing. Seeing Seeing the astonishment
astonishment
of
of Amir
Amir (may
(may Allah be be pleased
pleased with him) the Caliph enquired enquired
about
about his
his treatment
treatment to his his children?
children? Upon this, this, he
he replied:
replied: "Amir
"Amir
ul-Mu'minin,
ul-Mu'minin, as as soon
soon as as I enter
enter my househouse the people
people of of my
household
household are are struck with terror and and stand
stand dumb with
with fear.
fear. On
hearing this,
hearing this, the Caliph said: said: "Amir
"Amir (may AllahAllah be pleased with
pleased with
you) you are are a follower
follower of of the
the Holy
Holy Prophet (peace
(peace and
and blessings
blessings
be
be upon him) and and yet areare ignorant of of the important injunction that
Muslim should
a Muslim should behave
behave towards his family members with
familv members with
extreme love and
extreme and deep
deep tenderness.
tenderness."

It explicitly
It explicitly reveals
reveals that Islam is completely against
against the despotic
and tyrannical attitude of
and of father and
and male members
members of
of the family
family
over wives and
and children. Islam expects
expects from man a gentlemanly
behavior not harsh
harsh approach family. The prophet
approach towards his family. Prophet
(pbuh) said:
said:

The
The best of you is he who
best of who is the best to his family,
family, and II am the
the
best
best to my family.

The
The relationship
relationship between man and womanwoman inin Islam
Islam is not
not therefore
therefore
the
the relationship
relationship of
of master and servant but
but that
that of
of garments
garments to
to each
other
other and also protecting
and also protecting friends
friends of
of one another. The
The eur'an
Qur'an says:
says:

They are garments

They are garments for
for you
you and you
you are garments
garments for
for them.
them.

l0
10
Thus the
Thus very basis
the very family in
basisof family in Islam
Islamare faith, love,
arefaith, love, concern
concernandand
care for each
care eachother
other so that it turns
so that turns out groundfor
be aa civilizing ground
out to be
children. Husband
children. Husbandand peaceand
who live in peace
and wife who love with each
and love each
other can
other can concentrate
concentratewell over
over their
their children
children and
andcan
can bring
bring them
them
up with moral
up moral excellence,
excellence,best
besteducation
educationandand spiritual
spiritual orientation.
orientation.
Such children
Such children would
would not
not only
only contribute
contributetheir potentialities
their potentialities
towards the
towards the construction
constructionof society
societyin future,
future, but remainas
but will remain as aa
blessinglur
blessing ;br their parentseven
their parents even after
after the death of their
the death parents.
their parents.
Parentsof such
Parents suchchildren
childrenwill continue
continueto enjoy
enjoythe
the rewards
rewardsof their
their
best education
best educationand
andtraining,
training,which
which they
they imparted
impartedto their
their children.
children.
TheProphet
The (pbuh)said-.
Prophet(pbuh) said-.

The actions
The actionsof
of man
man cease
ceasewith his
his death. thereare
death. But there arethree
threedeeds
deeds
whose reward
whose rewardand
and blessing
blessingcontinue
continueto reach
reachhim even
evenafter
after death.
death.
One that
One that he
he should sadaqajariah
make aa sadaqa
should make (recurring charity);
jariah (recurring charity);
Secondly,he
Secondly, he should leave behind
should leave behind aa legacy
legacy of knowledge
knowledgefrom
from
which people may
which people may continue
continueto derive
derive benefit;
benefit; Thirdly,
Thirdly, pious
pious
offspringwho
offspring who continuously
continuouslyinvoke mercyof
invokemercy of Allah
Allah upon
upon him.
him.

Children are
Children are the
the blessings which Allah
blessingswhich (svw)bestow
Allah (swt) parents.
bestowto parents.
if these
But if these children
children are
are not
not educated
educatedandandtrained properly,they
trainedproperly, they
become nuisance
become nuisanceto the parentsand
the parents andthe society. Whereas,
the society. Whereas,if if the
the
children are
children are adequately
adequatelyeducated
educated and
andtrained,
trained,they
they shall
shall become
become
bearers Islamic mission,
bearersof Islamic mission, transmitters Islamicculture
transmittersof Islamic in the
culturein the
societyand
society andalso
alsobest
bestrewards
rewardsfor their
their deceased parents.
deceasedparents.

Islam forbidsabortion
Islamforbids abortionand infanticide.The
andinfanticide. The Qur'an
Qur'ansays:
says.

Slay not
Slay your children
not your childrenfearing poverty. We
fearingpoverty. We shall providefor them
shallprovide them
andfor
and you. Lo!
for you. Lo! The
The slaying
slayingof them
themis greatsin.
is great sin.

Those who
Those who kill their
their children
children out
out of their foolishnessare
their foolishness are the
the
greatestlosers.
greatest losers.

11
Thus,
Thus, abortions,
abortions,child-abuse
child-abuseand andinfanticide
infanticideare
areall
all considered as
consideredas
heinous
heinous sins
sins in lsiam.
Isiam. Islam
Islam byby its
its very natureis
very nature is against cruelty
againstcruelty
and
and barbarity.
barbarity. Any use use of
of contraception loop, shield,
contraceptionloop, plasticor
shield,plastic
anything
anything to cause
cause abortion
abortion is
is forbidden.
forbidden. Even
Even ifif abortion is done
abortion is done
in seven
seven days,
days,it is
is unlawful,
unlawful, since
sincethe fertilizedovum
the fertilized going to
ovum is going
be human being.
be aa human being. However,
However, only only on
on one
onecondition
conditionabortion
abortionisis
allowed -- to save
allowed savethe
the life of
of the mother.
the mother.

It is
is also
also important point out
important to point here that
out here that Islam
Islam is is not
not against
against
technology,
technology, but but misuse
misuse of technology.
technology. For instance, instance, ifif
technological
technological devices
devices help
help mothers lessensome
mothers to lessen some of theirtheir
complications
complicationsduring prenatalperiod
during prenatal periodand
andchildbirth, Islamhas
childbirth Islam hasno
no
objection.
objection. But,But, ifif the
the technological
technological devices
devicesarearediscovered
discoveredand and
used
used to letlet unmarried
unmarried women teenage girls to have
women or teenage havebabies
babiesif if
they
they wish
wish to,to, Islam
Islam strongly
strongly objects
objects it.
it. Similarly,
Similarly, if if such
such
contraceptive
contraceptive devices
devices areare invented
invented through which unmarried
through which unmarried
women
women or teenage girls can
teenagegirls canengage
engagein sexual relationshipswithout
sexualrelationships without
becoming pregnant,Islam
becoming pregnant, rejectsit completely.
Islam rejects completely.Likewise,
Likewise,Islam Islam
condemn
conderr.n high-tech
high-tech reproductive
reproductive aids aids developed
developed to produceproduce
artificial
artificial mothers,
mothers,fathers
fathers and children,as
and children, aswell
well as,
as,technological
technological
ways
way$ and andmeans
meansthrough
throughwhich
which lesbians
lesbiansand
andhomosexuals
homosexuals engage
engage
in their
their deviant
deviant sexuality
sexuality to getget children.
children. In fact,
fact, Islam
Islamis is totally
totally
againstall
against all deviant
deviantforms
formsof sexuality.
sexuality.TheThe Qur'an
Qur'ansays:
says:

Would you really

Would you reallyapproach
approachmen your lusts
menin your lustsrather
ratherthan
thanwomen?
women?
Nay, ye are
Nay, ye areaa people (grossly)ignorant.
people(grossly) ignorant.

Islam, no
Islam, no doubt
doubt encourages
encouragesmanman to beget
begetchildren,
children,but
but through
through
rightful
rightful mean not by
meannot by unlawful
unlawful act.
act. The
The Qur1an
Qur'anpoints
pointsout
out how
how one
one
Prophets Hadhrat
the Prophets
of the Hadhrat Zakaria (peacebe
Zakaia (peace be upon
upon him)
him) prayed
prayedto
Allah (swt) for the
Allah (swt) piousoffspring
the pious evenin aa very
offspringeven very old
old age:
age:

Lord! Bestow
Lord! Bestow upon me by
upon me by Thy
Thy bounty
bountygoodly offspring- Lo!
goodlyoffspring Lol
Thou art
Thou art the
the Hearer
Hearerof prayer.
prayer.

12
12
 As far
As farasasthe 'invitrofertilization'
the'invitro fertilization' (IVF)and
(IYF) andtest
testtube
tubebabies
babies are
are
concerned,
concerned, Islamallows
Islam allowsonly
only ififthe 'ova' comes from
the'ova'comes fromthethemother
mother
andthe 'sperm'from
the'sperm' fromthethefather
and fatherand
andthe embryoisistransferred
theembryo transferred into
into
theuterus
the uterusof of one's
one'sown
own wife.
wife. Any Any other
otherusage
usage of
ofthe 'invitro'
the'invitro'
fertilization'by
fertilization' byany
anywoman
womanor orman
manwhowhoarearenot
notmarried
marriedwithwitheach
each
otherbut
other but would
wouldlikeliketotofollow
followthis
thistechnology
technologyisisnot
notacceptable
acceptable in
in
Islam.
Islam.

Islamicstance
Islamic stanceonon artificial
artificial insemination
inseminationisis also
also quite clear.ItIt
quite clear.
forbidsthe
forbids the use
useofof the
the sperm
spermof of anyone
anyoneotherother than
thin that
that of
of the
the
husbandto
husband to be
beused
usedininthe process
theprocess of
of artificial
artificialinsemination.
insemination.Suchsuch
an act
an act tantamount
tantamountto to adultery,
adultery,from
fromIslamic
Islamicperspective,
perspective, sinceitit
since
-
fallsoutside
falls outside themartial
the martialunion
union ofof man
manand
andwoman.
woman.

Obligationsof
Obligations of Children
ChildrenTowards
Towardstheir parents:
their Parents:

There is
There is aa reciprocity
reciprocityof rights
rightsand
andduties
dutiesin
in Islam.
Islam. While
while parents
parenrs
are enjoined
are enjoinedto to be
be mindful
mindful of their
their children
children for their
their overall
overall
development,
development, childrenare
children arealso
alsoexhorted
exhortedto be
be obedient
obedientand kind to
andkind
theirparents.
their parents.

Both parents
Both parentsand
andchildren
childrenhave
have corresponding
corresponding duties
duties towards
towards each
each
other along
other along with their
their rights.
rights. There
There are
are several
several eur'anic
Qur'anic verses
verses
and
and Prophetic
Prophetic traditions
traditions which
which tkow
throw abundance of light on the
abundance irtigtt the
etiquette
etiquette of
of children
children towards
towards their
their parents.
parents. The
The eur'an
Qur'an saiys:
says:

Thy
Thy Lord
Lord hath
hath decreed
decreed that
that ye
ye worship
worship none
none save
save Him
Him andand (that
(that ye
ye
show)
show) kindness to parents.
kindness to parents.
Islam
Islam thus
thus ordained
ordained children
children to
to be
be kind and grateful
kind and grateful to
to his
his parents.
parents.
Good
Good conduct
conduct towards
towards parents
parents isis even
even regarded
regarded as as aa key
key toto
paradise.
paradise. The
The Prophet
Prophet (pbuh)
(pbuh) said:
said:

Your
Your entry
entry into
into Paradise
Paradise or
or Hell
Hell depends
depends on
on your
yourgood
goodor
orbad
bad
conduct towards your
conduct towards your parents.
parents.

13
Another tradition
Another tradition of of the
the Prophet (pbuh) also
Prophet (pbuh) also highlights the
highlights the
necessity
necessity of fair
of fair treatment
treatmentto parentsby
to parents by children:
children:

Let that
Let man be
that man be disgraced,
disgraced,and
and disgraced again and
disgracedagain andlet
let him
him be
be
disgracedeven
disgraced even more.
more. The peopleEnquired:
The people Enquired:"0
"O Prophet
Prophetof of God
God
(pbuh) who
(pbuh) who is is that
that man?
man? The Prophetaffirmed:
The Prophet affrrmed:"l
"I refer
refer to the man
the man
who finds
who finds his parentsold
his parents age-- both
in age
old in themor one
bothof them them -
oneof them
and yet did
and yet did not
not earn
earn entitlement
entitlement to
to Paradise
Paradiseby
by rendering good
renderinggood
serviceto
service to them.
them.

seemsalso
It seems pertinentto
alsopertinent point out
to point herethat
out here that although
althoughchildren
childrenare
are
exhorted to be
exhorted be obedient
obedient and
and kind
kind toto both parents, aa greater
both parents, greater
emphasis is
emphasis given for
is given for more
more better
better treatment
treatmentand and devotion
devotion to
mother. This
mother. This is
is obviously becauseof her
obviously because greatersacrifices
hergreater sacrificesand
and
sufferingsfor children.
sufferings children. The
The Qur'an
Qur'an says:
says:

And We
And We have
havecommanded
commandedunto mankindness
unto man kindnesstowards parentsHis
towardsparents His
mother beareth
mother beareth him
him with suffering
sufferingbringing
bringing forth
forth with suffering,
suffering,
bearinghim
bearing him and
andweaning
weaningof him
him in thirty
thirty months.
months.

This is
This is also
alsoillustrated
illustratedthrough
throughvarious
vruiousProphetic
Prophetictraditions:
traditions:

enjoinman
I enjoin man about
abouthis
his mother.
mother.
enjoinman
I enjoin man about
abouthis
his mother.
mother.
I enjoin
enjoinman abouthis
man about his mother.
mother.
enjoinman
I enjoin abouthis
man about his father.
father.

Thus
Thus motherhood
motherhood in IslamIslam is not not discarded
discarded as
as a burden,
burden, a
stumbling
stumbling block
block for woman's
woman's development,
development, a source of oppression
source of oppression
and
and suppression.
suppression. It isis looked
looked upon
upon with respect
respect and
and honor
honor and
al)d is
is
considered
considered as as a blessing
blessing from
from Allah (swt)
(swt) to man.
man. Motherly
Motherly
affection
affection and
and care
care deems
deems indispensable
indispensable for the
the proper
proper upbringing
upbringing
of
of children
children along
along with father's
father's affection
affection and
and concern.
concern. Motherhood
Motherhood
is regarded
regarded as
as an
an essential
essential institution
institution for human
human civilization.
civilization.

14
 As discussed
As discussed above,Islam
above, Islamattaches greatimportance
attachesgreat importancetoto the
themutual
mutual
Iove and
love and concern
concern for
for each otherin
eachother inthe family. As
thefamily. As father
fatherisisasked
asked
to prayto
to pray to Allah (swt)to
Allah(swt) to bring
bringinin his
hiswife
wife and childrencomfort
andchildren comfortforfor
his eyes,
his eyes, children
childrenare exhortedto
are exhorted to show glancesof
show glances of love
love and
and
devotionto
devotion parents.The
to parents. TheProphet (pbuh)said:
Prophet(pbuh) said:

liThe pious offspring

"The pious offspring who
who castes
castesaa single
singlelook
look of
of affection
affectionatat his
his
parentsreceives
parents receivesaa reward
reward from
from God God equal
equal to
to the
thereward
rewardofof an
an
acceptedHajj.1I
accepted Hajj." The peoplesubmitted:
Thepeople submitted:110 "O Prophet
Prophetofof Allah
Allah (peace
(peace
be upon
be you),if
uponyou), if someone
someone castsaa hundred
casts hundredsuch glancesof
suchglances of love
loveand
and
affection at
affection at his parents,what
his parents, what then?1I
then?"The
TheProphet
Prophetreplied:
replied:IIYes,
"yes,
indeed,even
indeed, even ifif one
one does
does soso aa hundred
hundredtime
timeaa day,
day,hehewill get
getaa
hundred fold
hundred fold reward.
reward. God Godis is far greaterthan
far greater you imagine
thanyou imagineandandisis
completelyfree
completely freefrom
from petty
pettynarrow
narrowmindedness.
mindedness.

Childrenare
Children arealso
alsoexhorted
exhortedto pray for their
to pray parents;
their parents:

O, our
0, our Lord!
Lord! Grant
Grantforgiveness
forgivenessto my parentsand
my parents andme
me and
and pardon
pardon
all the faithful on
the faithful on the
the Day
Day of Reckoning.
Reckoning.

Few Observations
Few Observationson
on the Above Discussion:
the Above Discussion:

1. sexuality,reproduction
I Sexuality, and parents
reproduction and parents and
and children
children relationship
relationship in
the
the family
family are
are all perceived
perceived in Islam
Islam as
as natural
natural and
and essential
essential
aspects
aspects of
of man's
man's life andand are
are not
not separated
separated from
from thethe whole
whole
Tawhidic
Tawhidic framework
framework ofof life and
and thought.
thought. Man is always
always reminded
reminded
to be
be mindful
mindful of
of Allah's
Allah's guidance
guidance all through
through these
these relationships
relationships
whether
whether sexual
sexual or parental.
parental.

22. sexuality
Sexuality and
and reproduction
reproduction outside
outside marriage
marriage areare rejected
rejected
downright
downright and
and considered
considered unlawful,
unlawful, no matter
matter all technological
technological
devices
devices make
make them
them possible
possible outside
outside marriage.
marriage.

A loving,
I3. A devoted, peaceful
loving, devoted, peaceful and
and harmonious
harmonious relationship
relationship
between
between husband
husband and
and wife is greatly
wife is greatly emphasized.
emphasized. Man,s
Man's
domination
domination and
and woman's
woman's subservience
subservience to
to man
man are
are completely
completely

l15
5
 rejected. Men
rejected. Men andand women
women complement other and
each other
complement each and not
not
compete against
compete against each
each other.
other. Islamic system is
family system
Islamic family is neither
neither
patriarchal nor
patriarchal nor matriarchal,
matriarchal, rather consultational, shura-based.
rather consultational, shura-based.

4. An
4. affectionate, cordial,
An affectionate, cordial, intimate
intimate and deeper relationship
and aa deeper relationship
between parents
between parents and
and children
children is
is strongly
strongly upheld in Islam.
upheld in Islam. AA stable
stable
family of
family of caring
caring parents
parents and
and devoted children is
devoted children expected for
is expected for aa
better society
better society and a healthier
healthier civilization.
civilization.

Conclusion:
Conclusion:

We cannot
We cannot afficrd
afford to be complacent and take comfort in the Islamic
complacent and
theories of sexuality,
theories of senrality, reproduction,
reproductioq husband and wife relationship
husband and relationship
and parents
and parents and
and childrtn relationship which are
children relationship based on the
are based
Qur'anic injunctions
Qu/anic injunctions and
and Prophetic unless we see
traditions unless
Prophetic traditions see these
these
theories are
theoriesare put into practice.
Practice.

instance,it is generally
For instance, generallyfound
found out
out that the relationship
that the patterns
relationshippatterns
between husband
between husbandand and wife and
and between
between pafents
parents and
and children
children even
even
in some
some Muslim societies
societiesare
are also not satisfactory.
alsonot satisfactory. Broadly there
Broadly there
are
arethree
threeproblems:
problems:

1.L Men
Men tend
tend toto keep
keep aa despotic
despotic attitude
attitude towards women and
towards women and
children.
children. There
There isis aa big communication
communication gap gapbetween
betweenthe male
the male
members
membersand andfemales
femalesand andchildren. Men expect
children. Men expectfrom womenonly
from women only
familial service
familial serviceof of cooking,
cooking, cleaning
cleaning and
and children
children care.
care. Exchange
Exchange
of
of thoughts
thoughts andand ideas
ideas on on any problem of
any problem theoutside
of the world, of
outsideworld, of
Muslim
Muslim Ummah,
Ummah, of of intellectual
intellectual oror of
of any
any other field isis almost
other field almost
absent. Insteadof
absent. Instead of aa loving
loving and
andcaring
caringenvironment, fearfuland
environment,aafearful and
tensed
tensedenvironment prevailsin
environmentprevails in the
the house becausemen
housebecause menusually
usually
maintain
maintain distance
distancefromfrom women
women and children as
and children markof
as aa mark their
of their
artificial
artificial honor.
honor. This sort of
This sort of honor
honorsometimes
sometimeseven turnsto
eventurns to be
be
horrific among
horrific among other
other family
family members
members and
and distorts
distorts all
all sorts
sorts of
of
relationships.
relationships. Although
Although itit goes
goesagainst
againstIslamic injunctionsas
Islamic injunctions as
described
describedabove,
above, sometimes
sometimes even
evenaareligious haloisisattached
religioushalo attached to itit
to

16
l6
 for which
for which reason
reason women
women andandchildren
children could
could hardly
hardly express
express
themselves and becomevictims
themselves and become victimsof
ofhorror.
horror.

2.z- In
ln some
somecases,
cases,women
women are arealone
aloneexpected
expectedtototake
takeover
overallallthe
the
responsibilities
responsibilities of of children
children and
and men
men completely
completelyexempt
exemptfrom fromit.it.
For the
For thebetter
bettereducational
educationalupbringing
upbringingof ofchildren,
chi-ldren,both
bottrmother
motherand and
father require
father require to play their
to play their important
important roles.
roles. InIn those
thosefamilies
families
where women
where women are are hardly
hardly educated,
educated,itit becomes
becomesall all the
the more
more
problematic
problematic for for children
childrento getproper
to get propereducational
educationalfeedback.
feedback.
whereas in
Whereas in some
some cases,
cases,where
where both parentsare
both parents are educated
educatedand and
working, again
working, again children
childrenbecome
becomethe thevictims
victims since
sincethey
theydo do not
notgetget
proper attention
proper attention from
from their
their parents.
parents.Men
Men claim
claim that
thatthey
ihey are
aretoo
too
busy and
busy andwomen
womenblameblamemenmenforfor non-eo-operation
non-co-operationin in house-chores
house-chores
and claim
and claim that
that they
they are
areover-burdened
over-burdenedwith double
doubleworkload
workloadand and
tend to
tend to neglect
neglectchildren.
children. Children
children feel
feel that
that they
they are
arealienated
alienatedfromfrom
parents.
both parents.
both

3. Due
3. Due to lack
lack of
of mutual
mutualunderstanding
understandingandand confidence
confidenceonon each
each
otheq the
other, the relationships
relationships between
between husband
husband and
and wife grows
grows tensed
tensed
and sometimes
and sometimesgives
givesrise
rise to divorce.
divorce. Children
children of
of divorced parents
divorcedparents
turn
tum out
out to
to be
be aggressive
aggressive and
and anti-social.
anti-social.

17
References:
References:

comprehensive and
l. For a comprehensive
1. convincing study-
and convincing Islam as
on Islam
study o_n the
as the
complete wai
complete way of see various
of life, see books of
various books Syed Abul Ala
of Syed
Mawdudi such
Mawdudi ruih asas -- Islamic Way of Lahore Islamic
of Life, Lahore Islamic
publications, see also
1992; see also
Publications, 1992; Let uS
us be
be Muslims,
Muslims , Kuala Lumpur,
Lumpur ,
Islamic
The Islamic
The Foundat ion,
Foundation, A.S.
A.S' n,
Noordeen'
Noordee l99l'
1991. For
For a
contemporary perspective
contemporary Islam, see
perspective on Islarq Ahmedullah
Mohammad Ahmedullah
seeMohammad
Islam-. A Contem
(ed),'Islam-. porary
Contemporary Perspec tive,
Perspective, chicago,
Chicago ,
siddiqi' (ed.),
Siddiqi
Publication,
NAA1\.1PS Publication,
NAAMPS 1994.
1994.

Ismaiel Raji al-Faruq

see Ismaiel
2,. See
2. i, Tawhid:
al-Faruqi, Implications for
Tawhid: Its Implications
and Life,
if,ougf,rt and
Though Herndon
Herndon" , lIIT,
IiIT, 1982;
1982; Moham
Mohammadmad Nejatull ah
Nejatullah
Siddiqui , Tawhid
Tawhid-- The
The Concep
Concept t and
and the
the Process,
Process, in Khurshid
Khurshi d
Siddi[ui,
Ahmed and
Ahmed Zafar Ishaq
andZafar Islamic
ed., Islamic
Ansar ed.,
IshaqAnsar Perspec tives
Perspectives Studies
Studies in
Honor of Sayyed
Honor sayyed Abul Ala Mawdud Mawdudi, i, Leiceste
Leicester' Islamic
r, Islamic
Foundat ion,
Foundation, 1979,
1979, pp.
PP. l 7-33.
17-33.

3. Al-Qur'
3. Al-Qur'an concreteundersta
2:30; For aa concrete
an 2:30~ understanding of the
nding of l
universal
the universa
mission ary role
role of
oi a
a Muslim
Muslim,, see
see Sayyed
Sayyed Abul
A!u! Ala Mawdudi'
Mawdud i,
mission:ary
unto Mankin
Witnessunto
Witness d, Leiceste
Mankind, Leicester, IslamicFoundat
r, Islamic Foundation' 1995.'
ion, 1995

4. Al-Qur'
4. an 30:21
Al-Qur'an 30:21

5. Al-Qur'
5. an 13:38.
Al-Qur'an l3:38.

6. Al-Qur'
6. an 4-.21.
Al-Qur'an4-.21.

7. Al-Qura
7. n 17-.323-
l7-.3?3-l alsoMoham
seealso
1 see med Abdur
Mohammed Islamic
Rauf,Islamic
AbdurRauf,
Al-Qut'an
View of WomanWoman and and the
the Family,
Family, Chicago
Chicago', Kazi
Kazi
Publicat
Publications,1996.
ions, 1996.

Sahihai-Musli
L Sahih
8. m, chapter,
at-Muslinr, The Book of Marriag
chapter,The Marriage' Ha
e, Ha

18
IE
i-;rTlpt-6r
p),lzlt.-i