Issue 915 - Weekly Friday 10th October 1997

Murdoch calls for

resistance to privacy laws
upert Murdoch, speaking at

R the end of his News

Corporation annual meeting
in Adelaide, called on the world’s
media to resist calls for tougher pri-
vacy laws following the death of
Diana, Princess of Wales. He
defended the record of the Sun and
News of the World, both owned by
News Corporation subsiduary
News International, suggesting that
“we were by no means the worst
offenders.”
He added that the Princess “gener-
ally worked with the photographers
to her satisfaction.” He was react-
ing to the Press Complaints
Commission’s proposals, to include
a ban on pictures taken by freelance
paparazzi photographers. Privacy
laws, he said, “are for the protection
of people who are already privi-
leged, they are not for the ordinary
man and woman.” He had “no
regrets” about using paparazzi pho-
tographs, except to say that he felt
his newspapers had sometimes
“paid far too much for them.”

Photograph: Mike Pantrey

University Scout & Guide Club on camp

he University Scout and Guide Club Guiding or Scouting. Now, assum- offers you the chance to carry on with take part in the national SSAGO rallies where

T will be going away for our first week-

end camp of the semester on Friday
17th October. We are staying at the Normandy
Scout campsite in Surrey and all members are
welcome. Those of you who signed up at the
sports or societies’ fairs should be receiving
further information very soon. It should be a
fantastic weekend and it will be a great chance
for you to get to know better everyone else in
your society. Of course, not everyone reading
this will be in the Scout and Guide club. But
why not?
For those of you who are into statistics, he are
the facts. Ten percent of all the people in this
country have, at some time, been involved in
ing a normally distributed popula- Mike Pantrey your interests whilst you are here. To
tion, taking a 95% confidence inter- Steve Ellul
val for the replicated Latin Square
meet like-minded people who want to
do the same things as you and who can
Scout and Guide Clubs from Universities
from Plymouth to Newcastle meet up once a
term for a joint weekend camp / piss-up. In the
Model, and applying Mackensie’s log theo- offer you the opportunity and facilities to do past we have also arranged activities such as
rem twice to allow for the high residual those activities. “But what if I’ve never been microlighting. We can do whatever our mem-
caused by a stratified student population, we in the Guides or Scouts?” I hear you ask. Well bers want. We meet every Monday evening,
get that fifteen-thousand people at this that doesn’t make a jot of difference. The club and this semester’s programme is in our
University should be in the Scout and Guide is open to anyone who thinks they may want Union pigeonhole.
Club. And statistics don’t lie.... so what does to take part in what we do or who wants to If you think you may be interested then please
this tell us? arrange an activity that they want to do. First do contact us!
Well, for a start, many of you reading this and foremost we are a society which gives For more information you can e-mail Mike at
have been heavily involved in Scouting or students the chance to meet socially and do mt41mp. (You don’t have to memorise this -
Guiding before. You obviously enjoyed it and something other than study while at just press your hand firmly down on this arti-
were probably forced to stop when you start- University. We do canoeing, hiking, climbing, cle and get it transferred to your flesh courtesy
ed University. The Scout and Guide Club and camping amongst other things. We also of those kind people at Bare Facts.)

News 1 n Letters 2 n Features 3 n RAG 4 n Music 6 n Entertainments Guide 7 .

RAG 8 n RAG 9 n Notices & Personals 11 n Sports 11 .
2 News
Rag takes Dear Editor,
over
The Bootleg Beatles - an excellent
gig, but what were the security
guards doing?
As final years, my friends and I are
veteran USSU party animals, well
known for being at the front of the
ext week is rag and the risk that years of
N
stage when bands are playing.
week, and so this Editorial work in building rela- Friday night was no exception, we
week’s edition of tionships with the local were a row from the front.
BareFacts has been ‘taken over’ by community might soon be undone However, the behaviour of the
the rag team. This is a group of trou- has this week become very real. crowd was ridiculous with surges of
blemakers who, for one week each Whether the advice issued by the people trying to get to the stage
year, encourage students to do Security service and - soon - the from at least twenty minutes before
strange and eccentric things in order Union President and Vice the band appeared, to the end of
to raise money for charity. The Chancellor, is followed, remains to their set. The force of the pushing
events, such as the beer drinking be seen. Simmilarly, nobody can be caused people to fall over and, after
contest and the blind date, always sure about the length of time it will several songs, we had to leave the
turn out to be amusing even for now take to repair the damage that stage are and dance at the side
those restrained, right thinking stu- has already been done. The only watching the screen.
dents who don’t actually join in. certainty is that if the disruption
Anyone who senses, however, that continues for much longer, the Dear Editor,
they have the spirit of rag in their University will start to suffer a
bones should get involved, because harsh reaction from the local town.
On returning from the summer hol-
as the rag section reveals, there is The licence that allows the
idays it was nice to see the Austin
fun to be had for all. The more peo- Students’ Union to serve alcohol is
Pearce
ple that decide to join in, the more granted by the local council, and is
open for business and looking good.
fun they’ll have, and after the hours subject to regular review. The line
The thought of computing in a clean
they’ve put in, they deserve to have to be taken by police patrolling the
and cool enviroment (Mullens was
a laugh. Lastly, if you’re one of the area around campus can change
neither) was attractive.
contributors expecting to see your from week to week. Planning per-
work appear this week - don’t worry mission that the University will
As a computing student I had to per-
- it has been held over for next need in order to build new facilities
form an assessment of a piece of
week. can be withdrawn. Local business-
software by comparing the experi-
es, being asked even this week for
ences of users of the software. The
Rag prizes and sponsorship, can
thought sprang to mind that the new
Noise at night will cost turn their backs on the Students’ AP building would be the ideal
Union.
us all There are still University towns
place
where students fight pitched battles
This week, complaints have contin- with ‘townies’ outside pubs at clos-
ued to flood in to the University ing time, and while the prospect of Dear Ed,
from local residents upset by noisy this might still seem unthinkable
students waking them and their chil- here, any deterioration in the rela- I have reason to believe the
Accommodation Office are trying
dren up at night. The Head of tionship the University enjoys with
Security, and now the Vice- the local town will come at a price to mislead UCAS applicants.
Chancellor and Union President none of us can afford to pay. Evidence of this can be seen in a
photo taken from the
have begun express their concerns,
Accommodation handbook which
appears to show a Hazel Farm resi-
dent smiling.
Conservative Party goes back to basics again
The Conservative Party was
last night in disarray again, as
arguments erupted over immi-
gration, Northern Ireland,
and, as usual, membership of
the European Single
Currency. The official line,
Row erupts over ‘absurd’ environmental taxes
In a review of VAT on energy-
saving products, the Treasury
has so far resisted moves to
cut VAT on energy-saving
products. The VAT rate on
gas and electricity is now 5%,
and and environmental cam-
paigners have complained
Friday 10th October 1997 n
Letters
My complaint is with security.
Throughout all the pushing, shoving
and even fights that were taking
place, the security guards around
the stage did nothing. I was
squashed against the railings in the
front row of the D-Ream gig in my
first year, but I did not feel as unsafe
as I did on Friday night, because the
people were not surging forward
and back, and security were very
attentive and asked several times if I
wished to be pulled from the crowd.
It may not be security’s fault
because the Union is no longer
designed for watching bands. They
can only be seen from the dance-
floor in front of the stage so more
people are squashing into a smaller
area than the old Union design
where the stage could be seen from
to conduct the necessary interviews.
The interview day dawned and our
team
of interviewers arrived at AP to find
that ALL of the three PC labs had
been booked for classes, there was
not a PC to be had!
I understand that labs are needed for
classes, and that for some
departments AP is the only option,
but all three labs at once? Surely, as
the central computing facility for
the University it would be reason-
able
to keep at least one (preferably the
biggest) lab open all of the time and
This is clearly misleading as:
1. There is nothing to smile about
at Hazel Farm
2. All Hazel Farm residents are
miserable gits anyway.
Yours sincerely,
Hugh Janus
(Name and Address Supplied)
In The News
that the cabinet would be
whipped to vote against mem-
bership, while the back-
benchers would be allowed a
free vote, started to fall apart
at the same time as Party
Chairman Cecil Parkinson
that the relatively high VAT
rate on fuel-saving measures
such as insulation has created
an anomaly, where energy
conservation is actually dis-
couraged. The Director of the
Association for the
Conservation of Energy,
the balcony, dancefloor, stairs, and
underneath the balcony. I am only
glad that the Union was not full to
capacity on Friday night. The quali-
ty of the big screen was rubbish
with the Beatles appearing as ghost-
ly white shadows. Also the DJ did
not try to calm the crowd down
before the band came on but instead
encouraged them to jump around.
We have seen in recent years the
injuries and tragic deaths of people
due to crushing and poor crowd
control at large events. I would hate
to think that the next victim might
be a Surrey student.
Karen Swales
ensure that it can’t be booked for
classes. I thought that the idea of AP
was to increase the facilities avail-
able, yet I don’t remember ever
finding all of the PC labs in Mullens
used for classes at the same time.
Come on UCS let the ordinary stu-
dent have access to at least one lab
at
all times - stop booking them all out
to classes simultaneously!
Yours sincerely
Chris Handy
CIT
rebuked Alan Clarke (“If you
haven’t got anything better to
say than that, then just shut
up”) over his ill-judged
remarks on the Northen
Ireland peace talks.
Andrew Warren, said that the
present system “makes a non-
sense of any attempt to use
the tax system to help the
environment.”
 n Friday 10th October 1997 Features 3

GAIALIVE Labour luvvies in

student stich-up
Matthew Beal chats with Mr. C about ‘Gaialive’, a new
internet radio station broadcasting dance music from 33 top
DJs across the world wide web.
hilst students slumbered over the summer, government seemed to change their plans more often

W Ministers were busy dreaming up ways to

give the lazy sods a fright when they got back
to a new semester. Fees, you see - but you’re the lucky
ones. Starting next year all new students, possibly
including your younger brothers and sisters, are going
to have to pay a hefty £1,000 a year for the pleasure of
being a student.
But how much do you know about the proposals? The
news reports told a different story every day, and the
than Imelda Marcos changes her shoes. We have put
together a quick questionnaire to gauge Surrey stu-
dents’ awareness of the issues.
You may even want to join in the anti-fees protests -
and disprove the myth that Surrey-ites are apathetic
sloths.....
Andy ‘politically independent’ Gale

What do you feel most strongly about - the removal of maintenance grants or the introduction of fees?
[ ] Grants
[ ] Fees
[ ] Equally strongly about both
[ ] Not fussed about either
DJ Redz and Mr. C at the launch of ‘Gaialive’
How did ‘Gaialive’ start out? trance or whatever, but I think it’s all
starting to cross. I think it’s quite inter- Are you aware that students may have to pay fees even during their industrial year?
Mr.C. - Gaia started after my partner in esting the way the music scene is [ ] Yes
the project, DJ Redz, a DJ on pirate developing with all these new genres [ ] No
radio station ‘Freak FM’”, was doing coming through and I think that’s real-
an interview with The Face magazine. ly healthy for the music, and for open-
Our technical advisor said that we ing up people’s minds to electronic
Would that put you off doing an industrial year?
should think about using the Internet, music. You can see it on ‘Gaialive’. We [ ] Yes
that it’s the whole world, not just the have people like Giles Peterson doing a [ ] No
one city. DJ Redz contacted me imme- jazz-funk show, Leah Paskin and
diately, knowing that I’ve got some Matthew.B. doing everything from
Some estimates suggest that students starting next year could expect to leave university with up to
knowledge of the Internet. I said that it downbeat to breakbeat and funky tech-
was a good idea, but that we would no; Colin Faver, Brenda Russell and £15,000 debt. Is this fair, considering the potential benefit a degree brings?
have to do it properly. We formed a Colin Dale sharing their shows over a [ ] Yes
partnership and started it. month doing techno stuff. We have [ ] No
trance DJs, the UK speed garage peo-
What about when you first started out? ple like EZ, and techno people like
I’m assuming that you were a “bed- myself and Dave Angel and
What do you feel would be the fairest way of funding higher education?
room DJ” to start off with. drum’n’bass people like Project 23, [ ] Students pay a fixed fee per year
Rugged Vinyl or Toy Records. So [ ] A graduate tax system
No, actually. I didn’t get a pair of there’s quite a cross-section of elec- [ ] Contributions from businesses who employ graduates
decks in my bedroom until I was tronic music.
[ ] Partnership approach involving students, parents, tax, & business contributions
already at top level, which is quite
bizarre, but I was one of those natural- Which DJ do you most admire?
ly talented mixers. I found it really If it were possible, would you pay higher fees to buy a place at a more ‘prestigious’ university than
easy to put records together. So I start- Probably Laurent Garnier, because of Surrey?
ed DJing, doing my own parties, get- his versatility. He’s got a lot of attitude, [ ] Yes
ting the best house DJs that were avail- which is really good for the music.
able to work with me, and within six He’s a brilliant technician who’s not
[ ] No
months I was working at (one of) the frightened to move between different
best clubs in London. genres of music. Does the fact that the Government is thinking of selling the student loan debt off worry you?
[ ] Yes
What was the first venue you played? What do you think is the way forward?
[ ] No
It was my own house music party, back I think at some point in the next one to
in ‘85-’86. I used to do a party with four years we’ll see more open-minded Do you understand the Government’s fees/funding proposals, or is the whole affair a bit confusing?
one of LWR’s DJs, and we used to do people within different genres and [ ] Clear and simple
rare groove parties where everyone we’ll start to see music genres cross [ ] Confusing
was made to dress up in flares. It was within one night, but it’s still going to
hilarious, but I wasn’t mixing, just take a long time. Even though the elec-
playing track after track - all the tronic music scene is 15 years old, it’s
groove and funk stuff. But that’s not in still in its infancy. Thanks for you time! Just return the filled-in questionnaire to the Student Affairs Officer, or pop it in
the same context as this. My first DJ the Bare Facts box. Cheers, luv.
outing as far as ‘Gaialive’ is concerned Where can we see you play nowadays?
was organising my own club and get-

ting in amongst it.
What, in your opinion, is the influence
of the internet on clubs and DJs? Does
it increase the attendance at the clubs?
I don’t think it’s even about that. It’s
about pushing information out, and the
fact that we can actually broadcast the
music that we believe in and love to
people in remote corners of the world
that would otherwise not have any
access to it.
The Marches....
I’m playing all over the world, but the
best place to see me is at ‘Sub Terrain’,
which is my residency at The End.
That’s “Sub” being an area of bass, and
“Terrain” being an area. So it’s a sort
of double connotation being as The
End is in a basement. ‘Sub Terrain’ is The Students’ Union will be organising transport to an NUS demonstration on fees and funding in Southhampton
the first Saturday of every month, and/or Brighton. If you are interested in going, please add your name and contact address/Email.
where I play alongside Darren
Emerson.
Name:
I’ve heard that you’ll be playing on
Kiss FM, is this true?

How do you think the scene has actual-
ly changed over the last couple of
years?
A few years ago, people would be into
just house, techno, drum’n’bass or
Yeah. I’ve just been given my own
Contact Address:
show. I’m now on every Tuesday night
between 1 am and 4 am, broadcasting
live on The End website every week.
Preference: [ ] Sounthampton [ ] Brighton
http://www.gaialive.co.uk/
4 RAG
Welcome to RAG
BARE BREASTS!
The Bare Facts Editor would like us
to mention that he and the editorial
board have nothing to do with the
material enclosed in this edition of
our marvellous student newspaper.
We would like to stress that all com-
plaints should be addressed to Rag,
via their pigeonhole - so we can
send them on to Matt, after all,
someone has to answer them!
Cheers.
This will be the silliest and most
useful edition of your newspaper
that you will ever read, especially as
it’s in it’s
NEW BIG TABLOID
FORMAT
(Oh dear!)
If anyone wants to hire out our mate
Hari Hit to flan anyone who they
believe to be annoying (especially
lecturers) - go ahead, the order form
is in the next few pages (some-
where). He will risk life and limb to
place a small - or rather large -
amount of foam upon the person of
your choice. The forms need to be
handed into the RAG pigeonhole at
least “ days before the expected Hit.
Anyhow, we want to raise loads of
money this week for our worthwhile
charity’s - but we need YOUR help.
Just come along to all our mega
events and donate loads of your
grant cheque (if there is any left!) to
RAG. There are also Rag Mags and
Limited Edition Rag T-Shirts to
spend your well earned dosh on, but
it’s all for charity - mate!
Finally, thanx to all those people
who have had anything to do with
Rag Week - to the Sab’s and Union
Officials for making fools of them-
selves for charity; to Crew who are
wonderful; to the rest of the Rag
Committee for being Fluffy; to the
volunteers for volunteering; to you
for coming to the events and giving
us your money; to anyone I may
have forgotten; and to those nice
men in white coats who are walking
in my direction to take me to a nice
padded cell.
Cheerio, and enjoy Rag Week!
Wendy Bowater
(Rag Chair)
Charities Supported by University of Surrey’s Rag Appeal
1997/98
Duncan’s Fund
On March 3rd, 1987, a first year
Economics student, Duncan
Bloomfield, tragically died at a
band practice.
This band had originated as the
RAG BAND, who played at the
‘ALL DAY BLUES’ in 1986. His
enthusiasm and ability to play bass
was well noted by all in Rag during
the preparation for Rag Week 1986.
His death came as a heartbreak to
his many friends and family so his
band and other members of Rag
started a memorial fund in his name.
The monies collected shortly after
his death totalled £600+ from which
a trophy was bought, which has
been presented at all Free Fest Band
Competitions since.
Part of the money which follows
from this year’s Rag Week will be
donated to a charity of his parents
choice.
PHAB Keepers - those needed for this Appeal will be
Guildford
This is an independent body affiliat-
ed to the National PHAB
Organisations for the physically
handicapped and able bodied per-
sons. It is a new club forming in the
area, and by supporting them
through this year’s Rag Week we
will be able to help them with the
purchasing of equipment, from cof-
fee mugs and teaspoons, to games
and sports equipment.
The Guildford
Macmillan Day Care
Centre Appeal
The Guildford Macmillan Day Care
What if the Spice Girls had been an
invention by the pornography
industry? Of course their names
would be different: Scarey Spice
would be S&M Spice; Baby Spice
would be school uniform Spice;
Sporty Spice would have to be
nympho Spice and Posh Spice
would be Amex Spice and what
about Ginger Spice? Easy Spice
obviously!
But what of their songs? “Three
becomes fun” would be a classic,
yet their new release “Spice up your
wife” could easily be a chart topper.
Other bands may well follow suit,
Friday 10th October 1997 n
Centre is to be purpose built in the
grounds of The Royal Surrey
County Hospital by Macmillan
Cancer Relief in partnership with
the North Downs Community
Health NHS Trust and West Surrey
Health Authority. It will provide an
innovative range of community
based clinical services and therapies
to help help with cancer and other
serious illnesses from the time of
diagnosis. These services will be
interpreted with those provided by
GP’s, Community Nurses and
Voluntary Organisations in the com-
munity.
The new Centre will serve as a focal
point for a team of specialist staff
where pain and symptom control.
Relaxation and complementary
therapies will be provided along
with a range of recreational activi-
ties.
All the money raised by this appeal
will help cancer patients in the local
area. Any funds over and above
spent on Macmillan’s work in the
region.
The British Institute for
Brain Injured Children
For the last 25 years BIBIC has
been challenging the popular myth
that brain injury is untreatable.
Children nation-wide with a variety
of problems - CP, Down’s
Syndrome, injury caused by acci-
dent or trauma - have benefited.
The charity receives no government
help, relying entirely on voluntary
donations for it’s existence. FREE
information pack available from Dr.
Stephen Wood, MB ChB, , Medical
Director, BIBIC (The British
Spice Chat
although the Backstreet Boys might
cause some concern. In fact once
your imagination is set free over a
few pints of beer ‘those’ magazines
could well sponser and have a field
day on Gina G, Let Loose, Shaggy,
Take That and of course Juice. For
alternative magazines Boyzone is a
must.
Anyway it’s all food for thought.
The practicality of the Spice Girls is
great though. I mean, we all at
some time ‘Wanna Wee’ and how
many times have you heard ‘Say
you’ll wee there’ on the way back
from the pub.
Institute for Brain Injured
Children), Knowle Hall,
Bridgwater, Somerset TA7 8PJ.
The Emily Appeal Fund
The Emily Appeal Fund sends a
lifeline to those damaged by severe
abuse in childhood. It aims to
improve knowledge and under-
standing of abuse in childhood and
its effects.
The fund was set up because of the
lack of specialist therapy and coun-
selling provided through the NHS
people for people suffering the
long-term effects of abuse in child-
hood. Fortunately, abused children
are now more able to get the help
they need but, sadly, the suffering of
‘yesterday’s children’ still tends to
go unrecognised. We know that not
all those abused in childhood need
to overcome it. Our concern is with
those who were severely damaged
and who are least able to cope with
their traumatic legacy.
British Red Cross
Surrey
The British Red Cross has been car-
ing for people in need and crisis for
more than 125 years. In local com-
munities up and down the country
they provide essential services
every day of the year.
All fund s raised will be spent in the
county on the provision of medical
equipment, passenger carrying vehi-
cles and equipment for first aid
duties.
The whole Spice thing is a load of
rubbish anyway isn’t it. Girl Power
is all very well but let’s face it guys,
they still can’t wire a plug!
 n Friday 10th October 1997 RAG 5

RAG WEEK - THE FULL LINE-UP

RAG WEEK - THE
FULL LINE-UP
Sunday
The start of RAG WEEK!! The
week commences with the RAG
opening ceremony where we’ll be
presenting cheques to last years
charities. This will be followed by a
spectacular performance from the
RAG Spiceless Girls.
Monday
Have you ever watched Blind Date
on TV and thought “I could give a
much better answer than that?”
Then this is the chance for you to
use your best chat up lines in our
very own version of Blind Date in
the Helyn Rose Bar. The general
format is the same: One guy asks
three questions to three different
girls and then decides, on the basis
of the answers given, who he’ll go
on a blind date with. Then a girl
gets the chance to do the same thing.
Obviously the dream date is not
quite up to the standards of the pro-
fessionals but after a few beers, the
local curry house can begin to seem
like a romantic meal for two.
Afterwards, there will be the chance
to take part in some mad ‘party’
games, usually involving a battle of
the sexes to see who really are the
stronger sex! If you’ve ever been
on a lads/girls only holiday, you’ll
have an idea of what’s in store.
Tuesday
Once again, we nick a idea of the
TV. Due to the success of it last
year, ‘Vic and Bob’s’ bar quiz
makes a welcome return to Rag
Week. Things have changed slight-
ly since last year, with Bob now
being Students Union president and
Vic having left the university but
still coming back for RAG Week.
Popular rounds like ‘Dove from
above’ will be making an appear-
ance along with some novel new
ones. Random prizes will be thrown
into the crowd during the rounds
and the top three teams go into final
showdown to discover the brains of
Surrey.
Top prize will be £60 to the winners
and entry is £2 per person. A maxi-
mum of ten people can be in one
team but the more people you have,
the more points will be deducted
from your final total.
Wednesday
During the day RAG will be dressed
up and collecting in the town centre.
This is our chance to mix with the
locals and take their money for a
chance. We need as much help as
possible so anyone interested should
contact us in the usual way.
Those of you who have been
around for a while, especially the
sports clubs (and the notorious
Sport Sab Cazza), will know all
about this event. Freshers may have
heard the rumours and believe me,
they are true. The annual beer
drinking competition IS the drink-
ing event of the year. With pints
going for a measly £1, you just
know things are going to get messy.
Events include:
- Fastest pint (both men and
women).
- One, two, three and even four pint
wibbly wobblys.
- Everyone’s favourite, the boat
race.
- Most disgusting/erotic pint. .
All money spent on beer will go off
to charity so the more you drink, the
more we raise for good causes.
Charlie, from Disability Sport
England will be in charge of the cat-
tle market, held during the beer
drinking competition, where you
have the opportunity to buy your
very own sabbatical officer or union
official for the day. Once you own
them you can then do whatever you
want with them.........within reason
of course!
Thursday
This is when the week starts to get
tough. When your hangover starts
to wear off, grab what money you
have left, put on some fancy dress
and head on down to the Forger and
Firkin on Woodbridge Road. We’re
having an all day drinking session
with cheap beers and lots of prizes
to be given away. Entry will be £4
which may sound steep but you do
get a free chip butty and entry into
‘Jump the Pump’, where the winner
will have the chance to pull as many
pints as they can in an allocated
time for their own consumption.
The Firkin are generously donating
50p to RAG for each pint of beer
sold and you might even win your-
self a T-shirt! If you’ve got friends
who are wimping out, get yourself a
sponsorship form from Rag and
make them sponsor you per pint
drunk.
In the evening there is the RAG
international event in the Helyn
Rose Bar, an opportunity for all the
overseas societies to get together
and learn about each others cultures.
Different music from around the
world will be played all night and
the evening will have an interna-
tional theme about it. This is not
just for international students,
everyone is welcome but be pre-
pared for a bit of a culture shock!
Entry £2.
Friday
This is basically your usual Friday
Night Out but with a band supplied
by RAG. This year we have the
band Supersonic playing. As
you’ve probably guessed they are a
tribute Britpop band who mainly do
Oasis hits . Those you who saw
them play last year will remember
the atmosphere in the union.
Tickets will be selling for £4 before
the gig so buy one early or you
might miss out.
Saturday
This is the last main night of RAG
week. (sob, sob) so we’re going out
in style with the Rag Shag Traffic
Light Disco featuring the infamous
snogathon. The rules for the traffic
light disco are simple, you dress up
in the colour which fits your mood
for the evening:
Red - Stay away, I do not want to
pulled thank you very much!
Amber/orange - You won’t know
until you ask. Maybe I will, maybe
I won’t.
Green - Pull me please, I’ve been
waiting for this all year.
You have to have at least one distin-
guishing item in the colour of your
choice. For those of you in
amber/orange and green, there’s
also the snogathon. This is where
you collect a sponsorship form from
the reception and go around the
union snogging people in the name
of charity. If you think this is dis-
tasteful and degrading, and the only
people who go for it are desperate
for a snog, then you’re quite right
but we’re having a damn good time
doing it. If you think, I’m lying and
it can’t be as easy as that then you’re
very wrong. It was a trial last year
and trust me, it worked. The current
RAG Chair holds the record with
around £70 raised!
Sunday
If you’re still alive, come along to
the closing ceremony where we’ll
be announcing how much we’ve
raised and other RAG events being
held throughout the year. This will
be followed by the Sunday night

TO HIT AND RUN FOR FUN!

HARI HIT IS BACK!
The Legend....
Deep in history, about the time that Eve bit the
snake and sort of when King Arthur beat the
French at Hastings, a small dwarf with a large
carbuncle on his forehead said “Oi!”
Next he scratched his bum and said, “Hit
squad to collect money for charity by flanning
people with shaving foam or custard........what
a jolly good idea, I must tell King Arthur”. He
went to the King at tea time and said “Oi,
Arf...” but before he could tell of his good
idea, a big hairy knight smashed him with a
mallet...
A few years later Universities around the
world started flanning people for charity,
showing that they too have the mentality of
freshly squashed Dwarfs. And thus the HIT
SQUAD was formed....
ER & FIRK
G IN
“Why I Flan People.”
Hari Hit will consider any subversive, devi-
ous, vaguely malicious and insidious actions
as means of gaining funds for RAG’ s chari- FO R
ties. The sole aim of the Hit Squad is to raise
money for RAG and if, perchance, fun, hilar-
ity and whatever occur, all well and good.
Possible activities include :-
KIDNAPPINGS, EXTORTIONS, EDUC-
TION, PILLAGE, PLUNDER............
And then there is always FLANNING!!!
Hari Hit will be available for the whole of
RAG Week so, be there or be........
ENSHRINED IN HOG’S TURD,
WRAPPED IN PLASTIC AND STRUNG
FROM THE ANGEL.
Please return the completed forms back to the
RAG pigeon hole with payment (cheques to
Uni. Of Surrey Students Union) at least 2 days
before the Hit.
6 Music
SINGLES
CECIL - Hostage In A Frock
(Parlophone)
Cecil continue to splice their aggres-
sion with melody. This is their best sin-
gle yet brooding with Mansun-style
emotion. 8/10 R.W.
FEEDER - High (Echo)
Interesting harmonies for a band who
sound like the bastard son of Oasis and
Longpigs. Strangely however they pull
it off, managing to create a song that
infests your head and will have you
humming it in the most embarrassing
places. 7/10 E.C.
SINGLE OF THE WEEK
THE SUPERNATURALS - Prepare
To Land (Food)
A nice indie tune from the Food stable,
tends to get a bit too unfocused at
times but a interesting ditty neverthe-
less. 7/10 F.F.
CARRIE - Breathe Underwater
(Island)
Bright and poppy, indie Beach Boys
with a twist of Perry Farrell’s weird-
ness... imagine Weezer on drugs and
you’ll be close to what this is like. 7/10
R.W.
HOWIE B - Switch (Polydor)
This is an interesting single with some
good mixes, but the sound reproduction
sounds flawed, with interference on the
bass line. That aside the tune that
messes up all preconceptions about
dance music. The addition of
‘Hopscotch’ is welcome, and is famil-
iar to those in the right circles. It’s a
shame that the vinyl was not available,
as the Billy Nasty/Chemical Brothers
mix would have been nice to hear. 6/10
M.B.
JAGUAR - Nothing (WEA)
At times this 4 track e.p sounds like
Northern Uproar/Gigolo Aunts particu-
larly on the title track, although things
do get better on tracks 2 and 3 it is just
standard heavily influenced guitar
based pop, which is in itself not a bad
thing but it’s been done before and it’s
been done better. 6/10 N.W.
2K - F*** The
Millennium
(Mute)
This one, as well
as having a
funny title,
sounds very
familiar. That’s
because it the
old KLF tune
‘What Time Is
Love’ with dif-
ferent words. A
funny tune that
will make you
wonder the fuss
about the year
2000 is all
about. 8/10 F.F.
This weeks music bought to you by -
Paul Amani, Matthew Beal, James Bloomfield, Gabriel-Oliver Chamero, Emma
Clarke, Gemma Decent, Frank Fraulo, Daniel Jones, Samuel Lawal,
Alastair Mooney, Denise Nicholson, Ikaraam Ullah, Nick Walsh, Rob Winder
HAWKWIND - Love In Space
Remix (EBS)
Drunken Eric Idle with a shot of David
Bowie’s new shit. Proving for fans of
their classic ‘Silver Machine’, “the old
ones are the best”. Except for the unde-
niably weird last song, which ends up
sounding like ‘Karma Sutra” for
Daleks. 5/10 E.C.
LUNA - Bobby Peru (Beggars
Banquet)
Another REM soundalike band from
the US. Radio friendly gumby-pop;
cute, whispered vocals backed up by
lots of piano and E-bow guitar.
Nothing is allowed to overshadow the
“song”... pity. J.B.
WILDHEARTS
- Urge
(Mushroom)
Fuzzed guitars,
sub-bass boom,
distorted vocals,
the second single
from the revi-
talised
Wildhearts.
Totally uncom-
mercial, wholly
uncompromising,
thoroughly fuck-
ing brilliant. 9/10
R.W.
DAWN OF THE REPLICANTS - All
That Cheyenne Caboodle (EastWest)
Second EP from DOTR following the
‘Violent Sundays EP’ which was sup-
posedly acclaimed by John Peel (prob-
ably a different one). A new wave
sound complete with Mansun-esque
vocals. Unfortunately the songs aren’t
even up to this low standard. 3/10 J.B.
PIZZICATO FIVE - Mon Amour
Tokyo (Matador)
This is almost laughable....The
Japanese group have tried to emulate a
European approach to dance music and
have created a dance ‘Frankenstein’,
don’t bother, unless you want to have a
laugh. 2/10 M.B.
FIGBOY- Sensitive (Gut)
Despite collaborations with Tricky and
the singer/songwriters Deddi Madden’s
claims of absorbing all different cul-
tures into his essentially English music,
just listening to the song, what he talks
is clearly nonsense. It is just crap
singing, a crap calypso beat and scarily
it has an uncanny resemblance to
‘Yellow Submarine’. Don’t bother.
2/10 N.W.
ROLF HARRIS - Sun Arise (EMI)
If you’re one of those people who
thinks that Rolf Harris is an insane
bumbling old fool who should stop
making records and piss off, then let
me tell you something : you’re
absolutely right. 0/10 A.M.
ALBUMS
BJORK - Homogenic (One Little
Indian)
If ever there was a record which could
be labelled contemporary this is it, a
record which sounds so unique and dis-
tinct you can only dream of finding out
what’s going on in Björks head. On
this album there are no songs like ‘Big
Time Sensuality’ or ‘It’s Oh So Quiet’
instead Björk has made an album
which combines weird Björkbeats with
classical string arrangements in a new
experimental style helped along by
dance maverick Mark Bell of LFO.
The first single from the album ‘Joga’
serves as a felicitous taster, showcasing
her fantastic voice and lyrical abilities.
Better tracks however are
‘Bachelorette’ a tense, yet sweeping
beauty of a song and ‘Alarm Call’
which is the most poppy track on the
album. The only downpoint on the
album is ‘Pluto’ which is the only one
bereft of a decent tune. On the whole it
has a more cohesive sound compared
with her other albums about it and will
undoubtedly sell less. A very good
album. 9/10 N.W.
CHINA DRUM - Self Made Maniac
(Mantra)
Initially I thought that this China Drum
album was somewhat disappointing
compared to their previous album.
However, the songs lodge themselves
in your brain and you just keep return-
ing to listen again and again. China
Drum write such great pop songs and
wrap them up in punky hardcore so
that they can batter their way through
your skull. The singles ‘Somewhere
Else’ and ‘Fiction Of Life’ along with
‘All I Wanna Be’ are the outstanding
tracks. Turned out to be a good album
after all. 8/10 R.W.
VARIOUS ARTISTS - Visitation 2
(Magick Eye)
It’s so nice to have a really good dance
label which isn’t up it’s own arse.
Magick Eye constantly and quietly
hand out prime quality sounds without
pigeon holing them into genres or
offering free spiritual advice, some-
thing so many trance labels seem duty
bound to do. Children Of Dub’s rare
‘Electronic Meditation’ kicks it off, a
mellow but acidic dubby trancey track
and it’s a good start. Astralasia’a awe-
some ‘Alien Love Song’ makes an
earned appearance and Swordfish is
also there with the very rare ‘Slap
Tongue Squeeky Bonk’ and new pro-
ject Under The Honeytunnel.
Spiralhead offer ‘Beyond The Blue 2’,
a no holds barred tweeky trancey trip
(alright!) and Another Green World’s
magnificent storybook piece ‘The Big
Fish’ rounds it off a treat. Not trance,
not ambient, not post-dub-fusion-smeg-
techno. Just Magick Eye. 8/10 A.M.
THE DAWN - 5 Days Wiser (Rough
Trade)
What an impressive debut record.. this
is true to the bone rock that very few
bands nowadays can produce! Kerrang!
has already put in a mention for these
guys saying they’ll make it to the top,
and if their next albums are as good as
this, they will. The bands influences
range from anti-style bands from the
70’s such as Led Zeppelin, Black
Sabbath to hot buttered soul a la James
Brown and Stevie Wonder to singer
song writer artists such as the late Nick
Drake. On the whole, simply impres-
sive rock. 8/10 G.C.
STEREOLAB - Dots And Loops
(Duophonic)
A cool blend of jazzy vibes that gently
flow, with a touch of ambiance and
maybe just a mere hint of soul...this
record is beautifully mixed and should
prove a success! The music is rather
like Deus’ instrumental pieces- if you
have heard anything by this magnifi-
cent Belgian band (tracks like ‘Via’ or
Friday 10th October 1997 n
ALBUM OF THE WEEK
LOOP GURU - Loop Bites Dog (North South)
Have you ever noticed how everything sounds the same nowadays? Have you
ever stood still at Bojanglez and wondered why they’ve been playing the same
tune for the past two and a half hours? In the next life, they won’t be playing Puff
Daddy or Los Del Rio. They’ll be playing Loop Guru. I want to use words like
“complexity” and “intelligence”. I really want you to know what it feels like to
listen to ‘Karma Manga’ in a dark and incense filled room, and I’d love to be able
to describe the closing bars of ‘Tam Duugi’ in a sentence. But words just aren’t
good enough for music like this. Only if the CD was given away free with this
newspaper could you appreciate it’s greatness now. All I can suggest is you spend
an extra thirteen quid this week on an album of indescribable power and beauty.
Imagine if bloody Leroy played this. 10/10 A.M.
‘Hotel Lounge’) you will know what POLVO - Shapes (Touch + Go)
this CD is like. This album features Polvo first came to our attention in the
more instrumental music than its prede- post-Nirvana “grunge”-wave. However,
cessor, the magnificent ‘Emperor make no mistake, this is no grunge
Tomato Ketchup’. Miss Modular is the album, this comes from somewhere out
first released single...watch out for it! in the left field of U.S. rock music.
8/10 G.C. This is a weird album from the opening
car engine turning over through mellow
V/A - Food 100 (Food) twisted melodies through to full on
A collection of songs from Food Sonic Youth style noise and through
Records, the label started by Dave the fantastic full on 12 minute instru-
Balfe after the Teardrop Exploded, mental ‘El Rocio’. Weird but fascinat-
ranging from earlier signings The ing. 6/10 R.W.
Woodentops, Zodiac Mindwarp and
Voice of The Beehive, all of which left SLEEPER - Pleased To Meet You
for bigger labels, through Crazyhead, (Indolent)
Jesus Jones and Diesel Park West, who Following last year’s Platinum selling
established the label with their first album, ‘The It Girl’, this eagerly await-
albums. With Blur, the previously unre- ed album does sound disappointing on
leased ‘Never Clever’ is included, and it’s first hearing. Although there is fun-
Shampoo who brought cross over suc- damentally nothing wrong with this
cess and sale of the label to EMI, to album many tracks do sound much like
Dubstar, Strangelove and the one another and track 11 does sum the
Supernaturals (the unreleased ‘It whole album up with the title ‘Nothing
Doesn’t Matter Anymore’ is here). Is Changing’. In defence of Sleeper
Possibly not essential, but enjoyable if there are a couple of good tracks,
only for the memories. 7/10 R.W. namely ‘Miss You’ and the mellow
‘Because Of You’. Thus after a couple
CHARLENE SMITH - Life Is High of hearings each track becomes distinc-
(IndoChina) tive in it’s own right, therefore making
‘Life Is High’ is pop soul at its best. their audience work. However in my
This is the kind of album you could opinion none of the tracks on this
play when you wanna get your mack album live up to the brilliant ‘Sale Of
on or just to chill to. The production The Century’ or ‘Statuesque’. This
here is top notch and crystal clear. The album probably won’t be as successful
live vibe Charlene says she wanted to as the last, but no doubt will create a
achieve has worked out great. In terms few hit singles. 6/10 G.D.
of vocals, Charlene is an A-class vocal-
ist and she truly excels on the Disco - TRAUMA CLUB - Headology (Just
Funk of ‘Feel The Rhythm’ and the Create)
mellow ‘You Are Everything’. Overall, Their album gets off to a dodgy start,
there’s little going against this album. but progresses to something pleasing.
It’s essentially a celebration of life (as The album is composed of chilled reg-
on the title track) and love (on the gae, calypso dub, soft trance and more
majority of the album). Worth checking inspiring styles. The punchline is cool
out if you are into Janet Jackson, too.....”take a
Eternal, you know, that sort of thing. stress pill and think things over”. The
And for the (hip hop) sample spotters track ‘Unrational’ is something to lis-
out there, see if you can recognise the ten out for. A good album to spin,
piano intro on the closing ‘A Taste Of when all you want to do is switch off.
ChardonNay’ (answers on a post card 5/10 I.U.
to...). 7/10 P.A.
STEVE
EARLE -
El Corazón
(Warner
Brothers)
The third album
from Steve
Earle since he
got out of jail
and quit the
drugs takes
pages from its
two predeces-
sors by mixing
acoustic folk
like ‘Christmas
In Washington’,
he is joined by Emmylou Harris for ‘Tameytown’ and more aggressive country-
rock on ‘NYC’ where he is backed by the Supersuckers. Steve Earle writes sings
and plays with the spirits of Woody Guthrie and Townes Van Zandt guiding him.
Songs for the hearts and songs from the heart. Magnificent. 9/10 R.W.
 n Friday 10th October 1997
21:30 Dangerfield
Friday
21:00 Red Dwarf
10th
21:30 Shooting Stars
21:00 Friends
22:00 Frasier
18:00/23.35 TFI Friday
Saturday
20:10 Casualty
23:45 Clive Anderson All Talk
11th
21:00 An Audience with Freddie Star!!
21:30 Drop the Dead Donkey
22:00 ER
England v Italy live: doors open 7pm
20:00 Full Circle with Michael Palin
21:55 French and Saunders
Sunday
12th
21:00 London’s Burning
23:10 Japanese Grand Prix
21:00 Absolutely Fabulous
Monday
22:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks
13th
23:40 Nash Bridges
22:00 NYPD Blue
23:25 FILM: Legal Eagles
Thursday Wednesday Tuesday
23:15 Seinfeld
14th
23:35 The Larry Sanders Show
20:30 Paul Merton in...Being of
Sound Mind
21:00 Soldier, Soldier
20:00 University Challenge
15th
22:00 Prime Suspect
20:00 Animal Hospital
16th
20:30 Top Gear
21:00 3d Rock from the Sun
21:00 Medicine Man
Entertainments Guide 7
Phone 01483 578017 for more
details of films and bookings
Friday to Saturday
Hercules ( U ) 12:15, 14:40, 17:05, 19:30
The Game ( 15 ) 12:45, 15:45, 18:45, 21:45
Fathers Day ( 12 ) 13:10, 15:40, 18:10,
20:40
Nil By Mouth ( 12 ) 13:15, 16:15, 19:15,
22:15
Volcano ( 12 ) 13:55, 16:45, 19:15, 22:05
The Full Monty ( 15 ) 13:00, 15:30, 17:50,
20:15, 22:35
Contact ( PG ) 12:15, 15:35, 18:50, 22:10
My Best Friends Wedding ( 12 ) 14:00,
16:35, 19:10, 21:45
Face ( 18 ) 16:00, 22:00
Spawn ( 12 ) 13:45
Air Force One ( 15 ) 21:55
Austin Powers ( 15 ) 13:15, 19:15
Career Girls ( 15 ) 23:05
Saturday Only
Space Jam ( U ) 11:00
The Lost World( PG ) 10:45
Jungle 2 Jungle ( PG ) 10:50
Batman & Robin ( PG ) 11:10
The Fifth Element ( PG ) 11:10
Sunday to Thursday
Hercules ( U ) 13:15, 15:50, 18:05
The Game ( 15 ) 14:00, 15:15, 20:20
Fathers Day ( 12 ) 13:10, 15:40, 18:10,
20:40
Nil By Mouth ( 12 ) 13:45, 17:05, 20:10
Volcano ( 12 ) 12:35, 15:10, 17:55, 20:30
The Full Monty ( 15 ) 13:30, 15:55, 18:15,
20:40
Contact ( PG ) 13:15, 16:35, 20:00
My Best Friends Wedding ( 12 ) 12:40,
15:20, 17:55, 20:30
Face ( 18 ) 15:30, 20:50
Spawn ( 12 ) 13:15
Air Force One ( 15 ) 20:20
Austin Powers ( 15 ) 13:00, 18:10
Projections - Focus on Film ( 15 ) 12:45,
15:15, 20:50 ( Wednesday 15th Octoner
Only )
Dead Presidents
Sunday 5 pm & 8pm
Monday 8pm Lecture Theatre G
Touch of Evil
Wednesday 8pm LT G
8 RAG
The Rules Of
Bedroom
Golf
1. Each player shall furnish his own
equipment fore play - normally one
club and two balls.
2. Play on a course must be
approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf the object is
to get the club in the hole and keep
the balls out.
4. For most effective play the club
should have a firm shaft. Course
owners are permitted to check stiff-
ness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right
to restrict the length of club to pre-
vent damage to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take
as many strokes as is necessary until
the course owner is satisfied that the
play is complete. Failure to do so
may result in being denied permis-
sion to play the course again.
7. It is considered bad form to play
the hole immediately upon arrival at
the course. The experienced player
will normally take time to admire
the whole course , with special
attention to well formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to men-
tion other courses they have played.
Upset course owners have been
known to damage a players equip-
ment.
“Somewhere over the rainbow...”
Alan, Jez and Steve would not be singing.
9. Players are encouraged to have
proper rain gear on.
10. Players should assure them-
selves that their match has been
properly scheduled, particularly
when playing a new course.
Previous players become irate if
they discover someone else playing
on what they considered to be a pri-
vate course.
11. Players should not assume a
course is in shape for play at all
times. Some players may be embar-
rassed if they find the course to be
temporarily under repair. Players
are advised to be extremely tactful
in this situation. More advanced
players will find alternative means
of play when this is the case.
12. Slow play is encouraged howev-
er players should be prepared to
proceed at a quicker pace, at least
temporarily at the course owners
request.
13. It is considered outstanding per-
formance to play the same hole sev-
eral times in one match.
Friday 10th October 1997 n
A Misplaced Pair of Gloves
A Young man wished to purchase a birthday present for
his sweetheart and, after much consideration, he decid-
ed on a pair of gloves. Accompanied by his sister, he
went to a ladies ready-to-wear shop and purchased a
pair of white gloves; his sister bought a pair of under-
pants. In delivering the packages they became mixed
up. His sister receiving the gloves and his sweetheart
the underpants. Unaware of the mix-up, and without
examining the contents, he sent the package onto his
sweetheart with this note attached.
My Dearest:
This little gift is to show you that I have not forgotten
your birthday. I chose these because I noticed that you
were not in the habit of wearing any whenever you go
out in the evening. If it had not been for my sister, I
would have chosen longer ones with buttons, but she
said short ones are more in fashion. These are very del-
icate in shade but the saleslady from whom I purchased
them showed me a pair that she had been wearing for
The First Rag Volunteer 1997/1998.
Rag 1997/1998 saw a pioneering new volunteer who
was exceptionally enthusiastic and outstandingly silly.
Here follows the interview of the century with CHIP
L’ORANGE.
NAME: Chip L’Orange
AGE: 14 days
OCCUPATION: Ringleader of the infamous Orangy
Tang Gang, now posing as a student so
as to be involved with RAG
MAJOR AMBITION: To become Communications
Officer for Surrey University Students’
Union
WHY: To take over Bare Facts, and ultimately....THE
WORLD!!
WHY DID YOU JOIN RAG?
Why not?
WHAT DO YOU SEE YOURSELF ACHIEVING
THROUGH RAG?
Lots of Fun, Frolics and Frill’s (with capital F’s)
That warm gooy feeling you can only get from raising
money for charity and helping those worse off than me
Maybe a free beer (!?!)
Meeting a nice orangy girl tang as insane as myself
WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE SPORTS?
Eating the smashing orangy bits from the Jaffa Cakes
for Great Britain...I hope to get to the Olympics some
day!
three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try
on the pair that I had selected for you and she really
showed them to the best advantage. How I wish I could
put them on for you when you first wear them. No
doubt, many other men’s hands will touch and caress
them before I have the chance to see them once again.
I wasn’t certain of the size, yet I should be capable of
judging better than anyone else. And darling, when you
take them off, blow in them before putting them away
as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.
And, be sure to keep them on while you clean them,
otherwise they might shrink. I do hope that you will
like them and wear them for me on Friday night.
PS Just think how many times I’ll kiss the back of them
during the coming weeks and year! Incidentally, the
saleslady said that the latest style is to wear the unbut-
toned and hanging down.
My love.
DO YOU THINK RAG HAS A PLACE IN THE
CONSERVATIVE SOCIETY OF SURREY UNI-
VERSITY?
Of course, insanity is needed everywhere, especially in
such a laid back place as this!
WHY ARE YOU SO ORANGE?
Because I eat too many smashing orangy bits from the
yummy Jaffa Cakes.
WHAT DO YOU THINK THE RAG TEAM
SHOULD BE MANDATED TO DO?
To eat Jaffa Cakes for the whole of Rag Week (and
donate the orangy bits to me!)
WHICH OF THE 6 CHARITY’S THAT RAG ARE
SUPPORTING IS YOUR FAVOURITE?
I don’t know, they are all so worthwhile, probably
Duncans’ Fund.
IF YOU WERE GIVEN £50,000 WHAT WOULD
YOU DO WITH IT?
Buy myself lots of orangy bits, without the rest of the
Jaffa Cake around them!
DO YOU HAVE ANY FURTHER COMMENTS?
Yes, there are non-believers, but us orangy tangs are
more abundant than you think, so guard your Jaffa
Cakes with your life!
THANK YOU CHIP, AND LEAVE RAG’S JAFFA
CAKES ALONE!
 n Friday 10th October 1997
This House Knows:
That the bar is open, and we need a
drink.
The Power of RAG during Rag
Week is Omnipotent.
The Rag Committee is deranged.
Well, we actually wanted to do this
in the first place.
The Rag Chair is so stressed, that by
the end of Rag Week she will be a
gibbering heap in the corner talking
with “the voices”
This House Believes:
Beer should be free.
If beer isn’t free, when people see
us at the bar, they should automati-
cally buy us a drink.
In Fun, Frolics and Frills with capi-
tal F’s.
This House Considers:
The Union Constitution (we aren’t
saying we will obey it to the letter,
just consider it).
We have a wonderful team of Sab’s
and Union Officials to embarrass
themselves as they will in the name
of charity.
That we are the only sane ones in a
completely mad world!
That the thought of free beer is the
best in the world.
This House Ponders:
On life, the universe and everything
- for about 30 seconds and then
worry’s about where the next pint is
coming from.
On what would happen if
Mr.Blobby took over parliament,
and the Spice Girls ran the Union.
On what fun we could have with the
badges that hang around the neck of
every sabbatical and Union Official
(Ha! Ha!)
This House Wants:
Free beer!
Revenge!!
More free beer!!!
Sanity to come home, as we didn’t
mean it, and we love you really.
This House Demands:
The Union President (BOB) has to
start each sentence with: “It’s your
Union”
The Student Affairs Officer (SAM)
has to end each sentence with:
“Education, Representation and
Welfare”
The Sports Officer (CAZZA) has to
yell every 10 minutes: “Sport for
Surrey!...Does anyone want to hire a
minibus?”
The Communications Officer
(MATTY P) has to do a cheer-leader
impression using the words “BARE
FACTS” on RAG’s demand (see us
for further details)
The Liaison Officer (KAM) has to
end each sentence with: “Nurses,
Midwives, Mmmm!”
The Internal Affairs Officer (MATT
L’FLUFF) has to sing instead of
speak, especially in Union exec.
The External Affairs Officer
(WENDY F) has to speak without
using her hands.
Every Sabbatical and Union Official
must wear a badge - but not their
own. No Sab can wear another Sab
badge, and no member of the Rag
Committee can wear a Rag badge.
RAG MANDATES 1997/1998
This House Demands
Profusely:
All the Sabbaticals and Union
Officials must be auctioned as
slaves for 24 hours at the Cattle
Market (Wednesday). This includes
Rag Chair in her official capacity.
Each Sab must attend the Guildford
Rag Raid at some point during the
day. They must sell 10 Rag Mags
and 2 T-shirts during Rag Week.
The Sab’s must do a song and dance
at the Rag Closing Ceremony. This
will be “Cabin Fever” from
“Muppet Treasure Island”. Words
and music will be provided on
request.
Each Sab and Union Official must
sponsor one of the Rag Team mem-
bers who will be doing the “Skydive
for Charity”.
On Saturday afternoon, each
Sabbatical has to take up the RAG
CHALLENGE! Be there at 3pm
sharp in Hari’s Bar, to await further
instructions.
The Union President has to look
after the electronic pet given to her
that week. If it is not 6 days old
when we get it back, a forfeit will
have to be undertaken.
The Communications Officer has to
be a contestant in the Rag Blind
Date. If he fails to attend he will
have to donate £50 to Rag.
The Sabbaticals has to have a boat
racing team (of 5) to challenge the
Rag Committee team (5 members)
at the beer drinking competition.
This House Requires:
During Rag Week, the
Sabbaticals and Union Officials
are mandated to dress as the fol-
lowing whilst in the union:
Union President (Bob)
CATWOMAN: Rag Chairperson (Wendy
must wear leather from head to toe,
carry a whip and meeow seductive-
ly at Batman.
Student Affairs Officer
(Sam) POISON IVY:
has a tight green body suit and must
carry a potted plant at all times,
which she will name and introduce
to us all.
Sports Officer (Cazza)
WONDER WOMAN:
must wear tights (with underpants
over the top), cape and dodgy head-
band. She must also keep spin-
ning around on the spot regardless
of how drunk she is. Every time she
sees superman they must discuss
wearing tights and underwear the
wrong way around.
Communications
Bare Facts Secretary, and
Officer (Matty P) other BF related bods
SUPERMAN: (Sarah, Rob, Jeff) THE
has to wear red underpants over his
tights and a dodgy red cape. Blue
tights are essential , and on meeting
wonder woman, has to discuss the
advantages of wearing tights
and underwear the wrong way
around. He also must not complain
when Rag
a)sell his computer and b) give him
RAG Mandates 9
the most menial tasks to do in Rag and climbs around in the roof all the Technology Officer
Week. time (the latter wont be a problem, (Warren) BANANAMAN:
Liaison Officer (Kam) the former could be amusing). has to wear a blue body suit with a
Equal Opportunity’s yellow cape and hood. Must carry a
BATMAN:
must wear a funny mask, tights and
Officer (Nick) CAPTAIN banana (or a bunch of) at all
times and needs a stuffed crow.
a cape. Most importantly must have SCARLET:
moulded chest and utility belt. must walk around as a puppet - Entertainment’s &
Every time he sees Catwoman he preferably with strings, and wear a Marketing Manager (Alan
has to pick her up, throw her red suit - especially the dodgy hat. Roy) MAD HATTER:
over his shoulder and take her to his Community Action must wear a hat and dress with
bat cave. Chairperson (Jo) LADY green trousers, chequered waistcoat
External Affairs Officer PENELOPY: with a clock. Must carry a
(Wendy F) JUDGE needs a chauffeur to take her for a teapot at all times and wish every-
DREAD: ride occasionally. Has to wear her one a very merry unbirthday. Must
hair up and wear a lovely frantically encourage everyone to
has to have huge shoulder pads,
pink dress. Must also walk around attend all the events in Rag Week.
wear a helmet and dread badge.
as a puppet. General Manager (Adrien
Has a dark blue body
Professional Placements Officer Fieldhouse) JAMES BOND:
suit and goes around saying “I
(Sophie) ROBIN: has to wear a dinner jacket and
am the law” every 2 minutes. needs a dodgy cape, tights and a bow tie all week. Has to intro-
Internal Affairs Officer black band around his head with
duce himself to EVERYONE
(Matt L’Fluff) CAPTAIN holes in for his eyes. Every time
he sees batgirl (doing the arms)
with the words “my name is
PICARD:
must shout “to the bat cave” and Bond, James Bond - licence to
must be bald (which wont be a prob-
run off film style. kill” and on requiring a
lem), wear a tight red top and black
trousers. Has to have a badge Entertainment’s drink must ask at the bar for a
communicator and go around saying Chairperson (Cerise) martini - shaken, not stirred.
“make it so” (it is the only thing
SUPERTED:
he is allowed to speak) This House Warns:
has to have fuzzy ears and paws;
Union Treasurer (Tania) If help is needed with any of the
needs a pillow down her front and a
BATGIRL: red body suit with a red cape. above, the Rag Committee will be
willing to help, but not necessarily
has to wear a tight black body suit, Must say to everyone “I’ll say my
secret magic words” and whispers able to help.
dodgy mask, utility belt and kinky
quietly to herself. If this is not complied with, there
boots. Every time she sees
will be a huge fine, or the person in
robin (doing the arms) must shout Union Chairperson question will be subject to a Hari
“to the bat cave” and run off film (Harriet) ALICE IN WON-
Hit.
style. DERLAND:
Sports Chairperson (Dan) must wear a blue knee length dress,
RESISTANCE
BUZZ LIGHT YEAR: white socks and a blue hairband.
believes he really comes from outer- Must pretend to grow very IS
space. Must wear cardboard wings small on drinking anything. FUTILE.
and a fake laser and shouts
“to infinity and beyond” all the
time, and must walk around as if he
was a toy.
B) THE RAG SUPER-
HERO:
wants to be part of RAG as it is
RAG alone who seems to under-
stand her insanity a n d
gives her the rest and recuperation
that her condition requires.
Stage Manager (JB) THE
INCREDIBLE HULK:
has to have green skin and rip off his
clothes repeatedly. Also has to go
“Grrrrrrrr” all the time.
Stage Crew: THE ASSAS-
SINS GUILD from TERRY
PRATCHETT FANTASY’s.
must wear black all week, with lots
of concealed weapons (!?!). They
also have to enter and leave
the Union any way but using the
door.
AVENGERS:
have to wear turtle necks and try to
solve the problems of the world
(especially those of Bare Facts).
Club Committee
Representative (Wilf) SPI-
DERMAN:
must wear a blue and red body suit
10 Even More of RAG Friday 10th October 1997 n

Wibbley-Wobbley - will he get there or wont he? Alan (Rag Chair 96/97) and Bob putting signs on bins,
whilst having a laugh in true RAG style.

Rag Appeal 1996/97 Update

Last year’s Appeal raised £3,000 which was evenly distributed to the following Not very surprisingly, one of the most popular and best supported of last year’s
charities: events was the Beer Drinking Competition which took place in February,
whereby a concoction of alcoholic beverages had to be consumed in the fastest
Anthony Nolan Bone Marrow Trust possible time! For your enlightenment we have included a few pictures taken
British Institute for Brain Injured Children (BIBIC) by our roving photographer (who was probably blind drunk) to give you a taste
Duncan’s Fund in preparation for the next competition.
Guildford AIDS Line
Marie Curie Cancer Care Don’t forget the date - WEDNESDAY, 15th OCTOBER.
Number 5

ELEMENT: W02
WOMEN: CHEMICAL ANALYSIS.
DISCOVERER: ADAM
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 53.6
Kg, but known to vary from 40 to
200 Kg
OCCURRENCE: Copious quanti-
ties in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
Surface usually covered with paint-
ed film
Boils at nothing, freezes without
any known reasons
Melts if given special treatment
Bitter if incorrectly used
Found in various states ranging
from virgin metal to common ore
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Has a great affinity for gold, sil-
ver and a range of precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of
expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously
without prior notice for no known
reasons
4. Insoluble in liquid, but activity
increases greatly by saturation in
alcohol
5. Most powerful money reducing
agent known to man.
COMMON USES:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in
sports cars
2. Can be a great aid in relaxation
3. Very effective cleaning agent
TESTS:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink
when discovered in natural state
2. Turns green when placed
beside a better specimen
HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in
experienced hands
2. Illegal to process more than
one, although several can be main-
tained at different locations as long
as specimens do not come into con-
tact with each other.
It’s a weird World
In Bangkok, 54 year old Chao
Boonchu was featured in the
press as Thailand’s champion
chain-smoker, claiming no-
one could beat his record of
120 fags a day for 30 years.
Shortly afterwards, he col-
lapsed with breathing difficul-
ties and heart problems and
went into a coma.
In Seattle, Rocky, a dog sen-
tenced to death for his part in
a robbery, was released and
told never to return to the city.
Timothy Day was hospi-
talised when the wind blew
into his face the contents of a
sack of cocaine he’d seized as
evidence.
“I was never much of a
churchgoer, but this has
provedto me that there is a
God,” said Weston-super-
Mare window cleaner Alan
Puddy after a vision of the
Virgin Mary and Jesus appar-
ently appeared on a crisp he
was eating while watching

Important
television. The father-of-four
Cody Schreiber, 29, an was attacking a packet of Nik
escapee from a Montana men- Naks, reports the Sunday
tal hospital, was convicted of Independent, when he felt a
It has come to the notice of the management that employees have been found dying on
killing and dismembering his shiver down his spine. “You
the job, and either refusing (or neglecting) to fall over.
room-mate after an argument can see Mary’s nose, mouth
This practice must cease forthwith and employees found DEAD in the upright position
over some missing Playboy and shawl,” he said. “Her
will be immediately stopped from the payroll.
centrefolds. head is slightly bowed as she
In future if a foreman notices an employee has made no movement for a period of one
cradles the baby Jesus. I know
hour, it will be his duty to investigate as to the cause, as it is almost impossible to distin-
South Korean Foreign I had stumbled upon some-
guish between death and natural movement in some employees. Foremen are advised to
Minister Lee Bum Suk com- thing special. Its not every
make a careful investigation by holding a pay packet in front of the suspected ‘corpses’ as
plimented the few British day you come across a reli-
this is considered to be a most reliable test. There are many cases, however, where the
officials who had the courage gious crisp.” Mr Puddy said
natural instinct has been so deeply ingrained that the hand of the Corpse has made spas-
to pronounce his name the people may laugh at his
modic clutches even after rigor mortis has set in.
proper way instead of trying claims “but these things come
The most successful test is to whisper ‘Sunday work’. This has been known to restore
to convert it into “Boom to us as a sign I’ve been given
animation to the body which has been motionless all week.
Sook”. an opportunity to find my true
The foregoing test should not be applied to FOREMEN and SUPERVISORS, as in these
path in life.”
cases movement of any kind is UNNECESSARY.
Indianapolis police officer
 n Friday 10th October 1997
Sports Standing Meeting Tuesday
14th October at 6pm in LTE, com-
pulsary attendance for 2 representa-
tives from each club.
Sports Exec Meeting Friday 10th
October at 1pm in the Sports
Office
Canoe Club White Water Trip To
Wales: 18/19th October. £5
deposits required now!!
Tennis Club AGM Tuesday 14th
October at 6pm in the Grant
Mitchell Room
Mountaineering EGM Wednesday
29th October at 2.30pm at
Campusport Climbing Wall
Chess Club - we exist! Meet on
Thursdays at 7pm in LTK, matches
against locals, contact Dan
(ee41de) or Pete (me41ps)
Judo Club meet 2pm every
Wednesday at campusport centre,
everyone welcome from beginners
to blackbelts
Notices
Islamic Society AGM Tuesday
October 21st at 7pm in Lecture
Theatre A.
Thai Society AGM Friday 24th
October at 6pm in Lecture Theatre
A Motor Club AGM Wednesday
International Tamil Society
AGM Wednesday 22nd October at
6.30pm in LTA
FOAS AGM Tuesday 28th
October at 7pm in TB14
Unplugged AGM Tuesday 21st
October at 7pm in Helen Rose Bar
Green Society AGM Tuesday 21st
October at 6.30 pm in TB 21
Lawsoc AGM Wednesday 22nd
October at 6:30pm in LTA
Electronic and Amateur Radio
AGM Tuesday 21st October at
7.30pm in 9BB21
Duke of Edinburgh Society AGM
Monday 27th October at 7pm in
LTE
Economics Society meeting
Tuesday 30th October at 5pm in
4AO17
15th October at 6pm in the Grant
Mitchell Room
Science Fiction and Anime
Society AGM Sunday 19th
October at 2.30pm in LTA
Bare Facts Editorial Board
Meetings 6pm every Monday in
the Office in Union House
Laser Printer For Sale - 300 dpi 4
ppm Ideal for essays Good condi-
tion - phone 504629
The Running Club will be holding
a novice/beginner evening at 6pm
on Friday 10th October.
If you didn’t sign up, don’t worry,
just turn up. We meet in the foyer
of Campusport; bring trainers and
lungs!
Classifieds
Personals
n Sir Woolhouse, Everton
sucks!!!!! - Ken
n SSQ Your new nickname is
now S-P!!!! - T.L.O.
n Giggle and Girls - no more
fires or men, next time it’s just
Pizza’s - S
n MR.DREAMY EYES
(LUNCH STAFF IN HELYN
ROSE), do you know you have had
admirers for a year now? L + P
n UNCLE FESTER, reply to
baby PP and Lolo .. NOW.. you
give too much attention to Duracell
bunny!! XXX
n So Helen, How many
‘Jonny’s’ have I got left in my cup-
board?
n Ero Tinky Winky, Your ariel is
amazing and your little hamster
sneezes aren’t bad either!!!! yours
forever Po xxx
n Anyone had a session in the
Austin Powers building ?
n Kristian og Jens! Rock ‘n’
Roll - Ken
n Ahhh... he’s lost his goatee...
we won’t have anything to tease
him about now... :(
n Rag, so far so good but every
step you take, every move you
make, we’ll be watching you....
n To ‘The Dragons’ - you know
who you are! Thanks for every-
thing. I really appreciate you both.
The bollard returns
n Nick, that last sentence was
for you
n Desperately seeking Helen
Philpott
n JUDO CLUB COMMITTEE -
Where are you? Contact us on
Wednesday
n Babybird’s up for it if you are!
RMP
n I’m a bit concerned mmmm
n Grandad pulled a fresher
nurse!!
n Que tal, chicas? -Ken
n Rec Road Arachnid Removals
n You got a spider? Just call us,
ANY time!!!!
n Sparky. Nice surprise for you
in the AP building. Wasn’t it. The
11
legend lives on.
n MR. DREAMY EYES.......
please R.S.V.P....... L + P.
n How many SOMS students
enjoy ‘Location Management’
then? Pigeon Hole Phillipos?????
n Austin Pearce building - that’s
really not my bag, baby
n So, Max forgot to “pick up”
Nina, then!! “ohh err missus.”
n This week I ‘ave mostly been
eating Virtual Pets!
n Nick, that last sentence was
for you!
n To Damien, why has Karen
not stopped smiling?!!
n Duracell Bunny, you excelled
yourself on Monday!! - From
Warren
n Sport Spice, white knickers
with frilly bits
n H & C students can cook-We
only burn things occaisonally, but
at least we do it in style!!!!
n It’s Gary Wilmot...no, no. I
meant the song!
n The SOFA, which now comes
in LEATHER, takes up to SIX peo-
ple in any ONE session.
n How are the new postgrads,
A?
n Sam - Happy Birthday for the
16th, Bruises
n Bootleg Beatles - Paul
McCartney...or...Jimmy Krankie
n A very big thank you to all the
members of the Trampolining Club
who helped out at the sports fair
and who have helped coach the
Freshers. Thanks! Love Jane
n Dear Dean. Please will you
fix it for me to be evicted.
n Following the success of the
Bootleg Beatles, may I introduce
the Sockfoot Stones. !!!
n Final Year OR- Whots with
awl these quews ? - Bob M
n Cory, what no message from
you!
n To the bloke who wants rid of
his mobile phone - you got it from
Orange Direct Sales, Solihull -
Matt
12 Sports
Never trust Tich (Canoe Club)
t was all planned weeks in
I advance, Tich was to drive
down after work on Friday
night, pick us up and then drive to
Wales. First mistake: never rely on
Tich!
Having decided to meet at the
Waterside Centre at half-past-seven,
Alistair picked me up and after giv-
ing his wife a long kiss goodbye, we
were left stranded in the rain.
Luckily I had the keys, so we were
forced to go inside and have a beer.
An hour later Martyn had turned up,
but no Tich. Another hour passed
and still no Tich, so we decided to
give him a ring to see if he had for-
gotten us. No, he hadn’t, but in try-
ing to get home quickly he had man-
aged to interface the car with the
central reservation, writing it off.
Second mistake: never trust Tich’s
driving!
After running around like canoeists
with the threat of a dry world, we
were lumbered with the fact that
Alistair could not get a car and
Martyn was not prepared to lick
enough ass to get us a minibus at ten
o’clock at night. A few more irate
phone calls later, we found out that
he did have another car but he was-
n’t insured on it till Monday. Having
The Column
t is almost getting boring writing
I about the considerable success
of British Sport. Once again
over this last week we have proved
ourselves across the board with
stunning victories, most notably in
the European Cup, boxing and ten-
nis.
The midweek football was a joy to
behold. Manchester Utd beating the
Italians in what has surely laid the
precedent for this Saturday’s match
in Rome; Liverpool, Chelsea and
Aston Villa also won. The enjoy-
ment of these results was enhanced
enormously by the Greeks beating
Arsenal despite the presence of one
of the greatest players in world foot-
ball at the moment - Bergkamp.
Let’s hope that he does move to AC
Milan or Arsenal are in serious dan-
ger of winning the championship! I
will not say anything about Scottish
football anymore, especially as
none of them are involved in the
second rounds. Well done Rangers
for setting one record - that of losing
Chess Results
6th October versus
Haslemere
University Of Surrey 1-3
Haslemere
given up on the whole idea a long
time ago Martyn and I decided to go
and drown our sorrows in the
Union. Twelve pints later we decid-
ed that they were sufficiently
drowned and collapsed! Third mis-
take: never give up and resort to
drink!
After getting in at three a.m, I was
not too amused to be woken up at
eight o’clock by someone banging
on the door. But there was Tich with
a stupid grin on his face, telling me
to look outside. And there it was,
the curse of the Estate-Agent-Class,
a B.M.W. 3-series. I was amazed at
his ability to do something right for
a change, but I did not want to
enquire about how he had got it. It
looked alright from the outside and,
if you ignored the knackerd seats
and a bit of rust, it was the perfect
car - or so we thought. Fourth mis-
take: never trust Tich!
Tich’s right foot never left the floor
and our knuckles were white as we
gripped the hand rails for dear life.
OK, we got to Wales in less than
two hours but on the way we had
made seven fuel stops and put more
than £50 pounds of fuel into this
Richie Saulet
Sports Editor
in two European Cups (in the first
rounds) in one season.
The other major events of the week
turned on our great “British” ath-
letes. There is always criticism of
these guys until they start winning.
Well, Lennox Lewis, raised in
Jamaica, and Greg Rusedski, born
and raised in Canada, have done
England proud. How long before we
find out that Shane Warne has an
English uncle, three times removed
and thus could play for us?
Although it is unlikely he would
want to- which brings me onto the
point, why did Lewis and Rusedski
choose to box/play for us? We hard-
ly have the greatest of traditions in
either sport. Still keep going so we
can claim the plaudits.
Maybe our English ballroom danc-
ing team should start poaching the
Italian dancers in that highly com-
1. D Erichsen ( 159 ) a - a Inglis (
162 )
2. A Garcia-Delento ( e90 ) 0 - 1
Bice ( 142 )
3. P Shing ( 92 )0 - 1 Sobey (124)
petrol-guzzling monster. The look
of amazement on the face’s of our
instructors was worth it though as
we turned up at Symonds-Yat fash-
ionably late by a day! Fifth mistake:
never trust Tich!
After the instructor had finished
drooling over the canoes we pro-
ceeded to show him how to canoe
properly and, in the end, he had no
choice except to pass me, Martyn
and Alistair with flying colours.
Unfortunately Tich failed because
he hadn’t paddled for a while.
A good time was had by all but if
you ever go up there don’t expect
any decent white water, and defi-
nitely no night life as they all cross-
breed with sheep and the women are
built like brick shit houses! So we
advise getting take-outs from a pub
and then going back to your youth
hostel room and getting wankered
there instead.
There will be a beginners’ trip there
in week 7-ish so all you Freshers
can come along and have your first
experience of white water on a
smaller scale.
Andy Haigh
petitive sport of ballroom dancing.
Now, personally why ballroom
dancing competitions? The only
other sport that I would not watch
on TV is horse racing, but at least
you can bet on that. The problem is
that with the funding that BBC’s
Grandstand is currently receiving,
ballroom dancing is liable to trip
onto our screens on a Saturday
afternoon and we will all become
concerned that Cecilie Rygel has
retired and that Alessandra
Buccialrelli is threatening our very
own Chris Hawkins. Bollocks.
Somebody pay a licence fee so
Grandstand can provide entertain-
ing sports again.
On the University front, the Rugby
team has done it again with an easy
win in the league on Saturday. Other
teams that have done well
include.....no idea as no-one can be
arsed to write anything. If you do
have an article, you can e-mail it to
me at li41rs@surrey.ac.uk. If you
want some publicity, then write!
4. Y Hav ( e85 ) 0 - 1
Adams ( 115 )
5. P Hawtin ( e85 ) 1 - 0 Conquer
( 95 )
a=adjudicated ( We are claiming
victory! )
P. Shing
Friday 10th October 1997 n
CAMPUSPORT
AEROBICS
The semester has started with a
fling with some classes being full to
the brim while there are spaces still
AEROBICS DURING OPEN UNI-
VERSITY EXAMINATIONS
Please Note CHANGE OF TIME
on the following dates for ALL
classes IN THE UNIVERSITY
HALL:
6.30 p.m. on Mondays 13th October
& 20th October
6.30 p.m. on Wednesdays 15th
LUNCH TIME SOCIAL SPORTS
PROGRAMME
AUTUMN SEMESTER 1997/98
Programme & Entry Form
20th October - 5th December
Tel Extn 9201 for further informa-
tion
Social Sports Programme is com-
petitive sport at a fun pace.
Everyone is welcome - students and
staff of all ages.
Experience is immaterial.
Entry is FREE with a Sports &
Classes or Campusport membership
card.
Contact your Department sports rep
or nominate a rep from your
house/floor to enter.
Entry forms must be registered at
the Sports Centre reception by
Thursday 9th October.
An overall PARTICIPATION TRO-
PHY is awarded at the end of the
year!
DIARY DATES
Thurs 9th Oct - Last date for entries
(by 2:00pm) to Sports Centre
Reception.
Sun 12th Oct - University Sports
Day.
Mon 20th Oct - Starting date for fix-
tures.
Wed 17th Dec - Xmas Presentation
at the V.C.
PROGRAMME
5-a-side Football
Mixed Netball
Ladies Soccer
CAMPUSDANCE -
LATIN AMERICAN TASTER
COURSE
TUESDAY 7.00-8.00
& 8.00-9.00 PM TB10
For those of you who turned up last
week and found yourselves
in some of the evening sessions - do
join in - all standards are welcome!
October & 22nd October
6.30 p.m. on Thursdays 16th
October & 23rd October
Anyone arriving early or starting
later could perhaps help with chair
and table clearing!!
BUT BEFORE YOU ENTER,
MAKE SURE:
1. Your team can play each week if
necessary - non appearances will
result in ‘minus’ points & disquali-
fication.
2. A maximum of 2 team sports per
academic year can be made.
3. A maximum of 2 University or
league team players can be included
(1 team player for pairs events).
4.Departments may combine but an
individual can play for ONE TEAM
ONLY.
5. Participation points will be
awarded for all team sports with a
maximum of 4 for squash, bad-
minton & dance.
6. Remember to bring a spare clean
pair of trainers for use on the Sports
Centre floors.
Indoor Cricket
Evening Soccer
Uni Hockey
Mixed Volleyball
Team Squash
Ballroom Dancing
The Social Sports Programme is
another free benefit for Sports &
Classes/Campusport card holders.
All players must ‘swipe’ at
Reception or pay the casual sports
attendance fee (Students - 50p/Staff
- £1.00)
squashed in a room full of students
trying to move to some latin beats,
there is an extra class from 8.00-
9.00 pm. So come on down to
Campusport and sign up as quick as
possible.