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Rag Week/ Ents Special Edition

3/2/00 Issue no: 975

SEMESTER 2 ENTS: PULL OUT plus

Alan
Alan D.
D. Roy
Roy dishes
dishes upup the
the new
new face
face ofof Union
Union Ents.
Ents.
You’ll
You’ll probably
probably think
think its
its crap
crap -- but
but at
at least
least you
you
can
can loath
loath it
it in
in glorious
glorious FULL
FULL COLOUR.
COLOUR. & other stuff

MINISTRY OF DEFENCE DENY

USSU CLAIMS OF UFO SIGHTING
The Ministry of Defence
have been quick to counter
claims by The University of
Surrey Students’ Union
that aliens are among us.

A photograph, taken by
Barefacts from the 28th floor
of the Center Point Building
at the end of London’s
Oxford Street clearly shows magnification
an unidentifiable object float-
ing in front of city smog.

Noticing the anomaly and

enhancing the digital image
on software at the University,
no explanation could be
found as to how the enor-
mous ‘disk-like’ object could
have appeared on the photo-
graph - especially as it
appears to be in front of the
cloud formations. The pic-
ture, taken through a window
was not exposed to a camera
flash and the object is clearly
reflecting the sunlight shining
from behind the photogra-
phers position (as can be
seen from the shadow cast
by the building itself).

In a letter to the Students’

Union from Steve Fowle, Air
Staff of the Ministry of
Defence, Whitehall - the gov-
ernment claims that they
‘received no other reports of
‘UFO’ sightings for 14th
January from anywhere in
the UK.’ Mr Fowle goes on to
state ‘that there is no corrob-
orating evidence to suggest
that the United Kingdom’s
airspace was breached by
unauthorised military air-

Elections ride the storm as

craft’.

Barefacts editor, Andy Blair,

who took the photograph
whilst covering the launch of USSU may have the UK’s
first Culture sabb - see
the Federal University agrees
with the other students and

page 3....
staff who pushed for it to be
submitted to the MOD, say-
ing ‘It’s a UFO - how f**king
funny’.

barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
News 1-3 n Features 4-6 n Barearts 7-14 n Surrey Pride 15-16
2 3/2/00

Editorial the UFO, I still can’t find any explanation

After the disturbing news this week about
the murderous tendencies of Dr Shipman
and yet another attack on a student, it
makes me wonder if you are safe to do
anything with anyone these days.
If even the simplest of social functions, a
Andy visit from your local GP, can turn into a
‘potential deathtrap’ situation - is it possi-
ble any of us to say that we are safe at any
time?
Also, after looking hard at the picture of
News In Brief
as to how the BF digital camera could
have taken that image. Photosoc - if you
can shed any light on it for me, I’d be glad
to hear it.
Well, the elections beckon so good luck
from all the Barefacts team to all the can-
didates, and remember - the word pubic
This week William Hague announced the Tory party reshuffle,
can be very funny when applied in the cor-
with the fast-track promotion of Michael Portillo to the top four
rect situation. I’ll be watching to see the
of the party.
candidate that adds it to their hustings
speech.
Portillo now takes Shadow Chancellor, just two months after
returning to Parliament after re-election. Likely to be the task
Cheers team & Rag - APIB
force for the next general election, Hague’s top team now has
Portillo to take on Gordon Brown, Francis Maude to oppose

Your Letters
Keren
Dear Barefacts,
With the looming prospect of the annual
sabbatical elections drawing ever closer,
one can often wonder what merit there is
to even bother voting at all, especially in
Honey the light of last weeks headline news i.e.
the resignation of Marcus Mayers.
It’s very easy to turn up to the voting booth
on the day, and go through the list of the
candidates - many of whom are uncontest-
ed in their post, and consequently general-
ly get voted in without any further thought.
In fact, as far as I can remember, only
Kev once ever has a lone candidate lost to
RON in a sabbatical election.
It’s very east too, to look through the list of
candidates, and vote for the only person
whose name you recognise, (sic) e.g. “Oh
yeah him, I’ve seen him (or her ) around
quite a bit”. Just because that person is,
say, a union official, doesn’t necessarily
Jenni mean that he or she makes a good presi-
dent. Consider for example, what would
happen if 6 months down the line, they get
offered a job for twice the salary - would
you turn it down if it were you?
The Union Constitution prohibits the cam-
paigning for RON in elections (to the unini-
tiated, RON stands for Re-Open
Liz
Nominations), but hey, it’s not election time
yet, is it. My message to you, and I hope
you take this on board, is that this pathetic
excuse for a place called the Students’
Union - and it’s policies, is run by a team
of people, some of which you elect. Now I
would suggest to you, that if you don’t
know who to vote for, then it’s probably
because you have not had the message of
who to vote for communicated to you prop-
erly, either because you’ve been locked in
your room for a year, because no-one’s
told you, or because the person standing
failed to give you his/her message suc-
cessfully. If this is the situation, I would
advise voting RON (unless you’ve been
locked in your room for the year, in which
case you probably couldn’t give a mon-
key’s who gets in)
Realise, please, that the people you vote
for WILL have some effect on things like
decorating the building and how the entry
system works on a Friday night, and also
how much money your sports club does -
or doesn’t get. If you don’t like the candi-
dates, don’t vote for them, vote RON!
If you feel really brave, then you could
always stand yourself!
Kevin Blain
Robin Cook, Archie Norman to counterpart John Prescott,
with Anne Widdecombe remaining to complete the front line.
The reshuffle ousts John Redwood, the last of the Tory Old
Guard and John Maples previously seen as one of the party’s
rising stars. It has been perceived as a ‘final clearout’ of the
party that Hague inherited to produce a party ready to tackle
the Labour spin machinery and regain much lost political
ground. Most notably, Portillo was one of the Tories most infa-
mous casualties at the last election, now he is brought back in
preparation for the next one.
His return also signals a distinctly anti- Europe stand, with the
promotion to the front of the prominent Euro-sceptic and
places the Tories back on their agenda for the build up to the
election. HBG
China is rumoured to have imminent plans for a manned
space flight. The country successfully tested it latest space-
craft in November. Regional newspapers have since quoted
several people hinting that the next rocket will carry people
into orbit.
A date of February 5th has been suggested for the launch
for the Shenzhou craft. The achievement would then mark
the beginning of the Chinese Year of The Dragon. It would
also make China only the third country capable of sending
its nationals outside the Earth's atmosphere.
The Shenzhou “Divine Craft” is an adaptation of the well-
proven Soviet Soyuz space vehicle. However western ana-
lysts have expressed doubt over whether it is truly ready to
support humans in space. They say that by our standards,
the quality of trials carried out to date would not be sufficient
to risk the lives of astronauts.
It has been clear for many years however that China consid-
ers creating taikonauts (astronauts) a very important goal.JB

The Millennium Wheel took its first passengers on Tuesday.

They came back down to earth saying the experience was
“unbelievable" and "magnificent".
Claire
The wheel sponsored by British Airways cost £35 million. BA
spokesmen avoided the subject of the attraction’s delayed
opening date due to mechanical problems. Instead they
anticipated that 2.4million people will see the wonderful view
from the top by the end of the year. 60,000 have already
booked a ride.

However, trouble continues to plague London’s newest land-

Lindsey mark. The computerised phone reservation service is a pre-
mium rate call. Well into the procedure the system suddenly
fails and tells customers to try again later.

Architect David Marks was very pleased his creation was up

and running. “It’s now the Londoners’ wheel” He grinned.JB

Bare Facts
Bare Facts is an editorially independent newspa-
per, published by the University of Surrey Students'
© USSU
Union House
Union Communications Office.
Communications Office
James University Of Surrey The views expressed within the 1999
Guildford
paper are those of individual Printed by
authors, and do not necessarily
Commercial Surrey represent the views of the Editor, Deadline for East End
Team: GU2 5XH the Editorial Board, the University
of Surrey Students' Union or the
Publication Offset (TU),
Hannah Jaynes University of Surrey. Monday 12pm Bow,
Tel: 01483 259275
Fax: 01483 534749 This publication may not be reproduced in whole or
in part, stored in any form, copied or distributed, London, E3
Orla without the express permission of the publisher. Submissions 3LT
email: All submissions must include the author's name
preferably on
Cousins barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
and Union or Staff Number. Submission is no
guarantee of publication.
Anonymous and Pseudonymous articles will not
be published.
disk
 3/2/00 3
The Vice-president Societies & Culture shall: Vice President Finance & Development
USSU may have the
1.) Be responsible for the co-ordination of all Union societies, The VP Finance & Development shall:
UK’s first Culture
amenities and cultural activity.
1) Be responsible for the continual development of the
sabbatical
2.) Promote both society and non-society based cultural Union committee structure and the committees con- For many people the being made aware that
activity within the Union. tained therein as set in the constitution. resignation of Marcus these constitutional
Mayers last week may changes will dramati-
3.) Co-ordinate all society and amenity events within the 2) Liaise with the Union and its members on matters have meant nothing at cally change the con-
Union. of Union finance. all, but it will in turn struct of the represen-
affect every single tative body of students
4.) In conjunction with the relevant Union Officials, promote 3) Co-ordinate the continual assessment of Union student at the and all candidates are
multicultural integration within the Union. Development Plans in conjunction with the President. University in terms of asked to make contact
the way the Students’ with the current sabbat-
5.) Be a member of Union committees as set out in Schedule 4) Co-ordinate all the Union training and skills devel- Union will run from ical team to find out
2 of this constitution. opment programmes. now on. how this will change the
nature of their election
6.) Be jointly responsible with the VP Finance & Development 5) Be a member of Union committees as set out in Following the resigna- campaigns.
for the organisation of large-scale non-commercial Union Schedule 2 of the constitution. tion, the current sab-
events. batical team have At Student Council
6) Develop and co-ordinate the generation of revenue pulled apart the current (tonight 3/2/00) there
7.) Advise the Finance & Services committee of the financial through sponsorship. job descriptions of VP will be a discussion of
situation of societies, societies standing committee, and the Finance & Societies the new job descrip-
overall societies budget. 7) Survey developments in the Student Movement and and VP Student tions taking place -
keep members informed of them. Support & Development looking at how these
8.) Be responsible for keeping student council aware of and along with jobs will affect multi-
issues affecting these societies. 8) Be jointly responsible with the VP Societies & Executive have cultural representation,
Culture for the organisation of large scale non-com- reformed them as two the development of the
9.) Survey developments in student society, and multi-cultural mercial Union events. new positions. Union as a whole and
activity in other educational establishments. Potentially, as of this what roles these new
9) Be jointly responsible for the organisation of semester, there will be sabbaticals will be
10.) Liaise with & represent students on placement and Freshers Fayre with VP Societies & Culture. a Vice President charged with. All clubs,
based at satellite sites, keeping them informed of the affairs Finance & Development societies, amenities,
of the Union. 10) Advise the Finance & Services Committee on the (currently VP Finance & officials, candidates
financial situation of non-commercial Union budgets. Societies) and the and more importantly
11.) Work with the VP Communications & Marketing to pro- introduction of a unique non-union orientated
mote multicultural participation in student media. 11) Be jointly responsible with the Elections Officer sabbatical role in the students are urged to
for the co-ordination of Union Officer and Sabbatical UK - Vice President attend this gathering in
12). Represent the Union on committees of the University, as Elections. Societies & Culture. the Lecture Theatre G,
set out in the policy statement. 6pm.
12) Represent the Union on committees of the The implications of
13.) Be jointly responsible with the VP Finance & University, as set out in the policy statement. these new roles are FOR MORE INFORMA-
Development for the organisation of freshers’ fair. wide reaching and TION ON ANY OF THE
13) Be jointly responsible for Introduction pro- could formidably JOB DESCRIPTIONS
14.) Be jointly responsible with other sabbaticals for the grammes. enhance Surrey to PLEASE CONTACT A
organisation of Introduction programmes. become a one of the SABBATICAL.
14) Deputise for the President when necessary leading thinkers in the
15.) Deputise for the President when necessary. way it tackles the cul- NOMINATIONS FOR THE
15) Be a sabbatical. tural diversity of a cam- 2000 ELECTIONS
16.) Be a Sabbatical Officer. pus based University. CLOSE THIS FRIDAY AT
Candidates for the two 4 PM.
existing positions are

Australia is preparing for a sex bonanza. The Millennium

Olympics in Sydney is expected to result in an explosion
in the number of prostitutes and brothels in the area.

While those in the sex trade plan advertising campaigns

and set up new premises, the authorities are gearing up
too. Maria McMahon manager of Sex Workers Outreach
Project said "The sex industry here in Sydney is in for its
busiest time ever.” They will be publishing leaflets, inform-
ing foreigners of the legal status of the regions 10,000
prostitutes. “We want them to enjoy themselves safely
here. I'm sure they will. Sydney's got some of the world's
best prostitutes!"

Madam Catherine O’Malley is thinking of hiring extra staff

from overseas to cope with the demand. 9 million visitors
are expected for the largest games ever. She feels the
sex trade is an Australian growth industry. "There are 24
pages advertising brothels and escort agencies in the
Yellow Pages today," she boasted.JB

A Chilean art student lived in a glass house in the centre

ofSantiago last week. Daniella Tobar, 21 ate, read, slept,
washed, and used the toilet in a specially constructed
transparent room - in full view of passers by.

Daniella’s escapade was part of a government back pro-

ject and it is sited just yards away from the Presidential
Palace. The story is all the more odd as Chile is a strictly
Catholic country where divorce is banned and the media
is censored.

A judge is now investigating whether the woman’s

actions have broken the constitution, which forbids
immoral and bad conduct. Although scheduled to run for
two weeks Daniella has now abandoned her abode.JB
 4 3/2/00

HOW MANY MORE EXAMPLES DO WE NEED

BEFORE WE REALISE THAT GUILDFORD
JUST ISN’T AS SAFE AS HOUSES?
Following the recent conviction in the Cindy’s murder case, another Surrey student is beaten to the floor walking along the route of two parts of
their department - UniS & The Royal Surrey. Has the time come that we stop asking for lights and paving and start asking for physical deterants.....

The issue regarding the safety of students who live and work
off campus has been raised again in light of a recent attack
on a student walking from the Royal Surrey Hospital to cam-
pus.
The student (who does not wish to be named) was walking
through the first underpass on their way home from work at
the hospital, when they were mugged and beaten to the
ground. This recent attack is only one in a long line of
instances which have provoked Bare Facts into making this
an issue.
The University and Guildford Borough Council have already
taken steps to improve the walkway between the two under-
passes connecting Tescos and Southway to the campus
with new paving and lighting. With all due respect this has
done nothing to protect the students walking on the only
routes between The Royal Surrey and campus. Surely any-
one can see that this is a major problem if students, as part
Life on the Outside
IMPORTANT SAFETY
of their degree, have to make this journey on a regular basis.
While the basic provisions for improvements have been
made, it is simply not enough.
The safety of students should be at the forefront of any dis- ANNOUNCEMENT
cussion; not money or provisions, but safety. Why should
we, the students, be made to feel unsafe walking from cam-
pus to the Royal Surrey, when it is an integral part of many A student was physically assaulted on
student’s degree? Sunday night on their way back to cam-
In the past, it has been advised that students do not take this
pus after going to Tescos.
route, or in fact any other route, that leads off campus. How The area is badly lit and although the
does the University propose that all students that live of Students’ Union and University are
campus get home after a night out, a night in the library or
even after a late lecture? It does not have to be two o’clock
looking into this it is not safe to walk
in the morning and the student to be pissed after a night out on your own or late at night.
in town for them to be attacked, it can just as easily happen There is a bus service available and we
at six thirty or in fact eight thirty in the morning.
suggest you use it when possible.
How many more people have to be attacked before the pow- Copies of the University bus service
ers that be realise that there is a problem regarding student will be available from Union reception.
safety off campus?

Company: Heartland As a student I am extremely grateful for the lighting that has Attack alarms are also available from
Job: Customer Satisfaction Support & Website for the been put up near the A3 underpass but still feel that more Union reception, Nightline and security
City Of London Sales Team needs to be done or should we walk every where in threes
with machetes in our pockets?
in Senate House for £1.
Continued from last weeks Barefacts… CB
Please feel free to contact Emma on ext
Week 27 9228 about this or any other safety
The New Year is a time for change at Heartland. It is a rule RAG WEEK 2000 GETS issues.
of thumb that no one should stay in same job for more than
three years. It helps keep everyone fresh, enriches skills, OFF TO A FLYING START
spreads knowledge and hence hopefully is beneficial to the
company. This time of year then always sees many people
switching roles, departments and sometimes even conti-
Monday night saw the
launch of RAG Week 2000
with the Human Auction.
meal with wine is going to
Alan Roy and co.
- Even our very own auc-
Rag Profile
nents! For my department the wind of change is blowing Name: Jonathan Penny
Our hearts sank as by 8 o’ tioneers Ms Maguire and Ms
even stronger than normal. We are joining forces with other
clock the union consisted of Noblet were able to give up Position: Chairman (I hope you meant
sales teams to form a combined sector. The meeting of
mainly bar staff and RAG their time and went for £30! that)
minds should make Heartland more competitive and avoid
helpers. As the starting time (a bargain at half the price).
duplication of roles.
of nine loomed closer the What ever will AJ do with Measurements: Waist 30, Chest
union started to fill out and them? 38DD, Feet – there’s 2 of them I think
My role in the proceedings is re-jigging the organisational
Sarah Maguire and Jo - Jules got down on the floor
chart and the Customer Satisfaction spreadsheet - both are
Noblet took to the stage as Sclub7 style to break dance Hobbies and interests: Charity
now twice the size they were. For technical reasons the
the evening’s auctioneers. to Fat Boy Slim fundraising is my main interest and I
later is a daunting task. I explored yet more facilities of
The audience were invited - And how can we forget our have started my own charity with a
Lotus 123 and Lotus Approach in the search of answers.
to ‘come on down’ to the random auctioneer that paid friend working with children in hopsi-
Sadly my computer continually crashed as I tried to use
dance floor to bid for the US to let him auction Sarah tal wards. Apart from that and my eternal desire for world
them. I'm now trying to think of relatively low-tech alterna-
willing (or perhaps not so and Jo – cheers Rolly. peace that pretty much takes up most of my time. Pubs, of
tives.
willing) volunteers. At first course, are also a major part of my life.
the auction got off to a slow As the night came to a close
This is an excellent example of what a placement is all
start with our poor RAG we had RAG people franti- Marital status: Currently seeing the love of my life (5 months
about. Given a problem you learn can much by researching
treasurer selling for just cally counting the pennies. if you are interested) (A sick bag is provided from the Health
how to solve it. If the solution is then found to be unwork-
£3.50. Drastic times called The total raised for the Centre if needed)
able, you must invent an alternative. The process begins
for drastic measures so we Human Auction 2000
again. The educational value comes from both the facts dis-
called on to the audience to exceeded £300. It just Favourite feature: I have been told I have a nice arse but I
covered and from seeing the suitability of the skills and
help us out. Whether this remains for us to say a huge can’t see it.
methods you used.
was through the kindness of thank you to everyone who
their hearts, or probably the auctioned themselves off, What do you go for in a woman:Friendship and a hot cup of
Some enterprising IT’s have taken their new skills a step
fact that Carling was just £1, stage crew, Alan Roy for cocoa.
further. They have used the to create a brand new IT
we had an influx of people donating 2 pair of tickets for
webiste. It’s very good. I kind of wish I had been involved.
wanting to be auctioned off. the Charter Ball, and not for- Favourite drink: A toss up between Cider and Vodka
getting our auctioneers
I got odd task given to me one day. As a joke for a forth-
Highlights of the night Sarah and Jo. Favourite music:All music really. I’m easy.
coming meeting. Mike Watts wants me to create some
included:
funny faces. I have photographs all the team members
- RAG committee members Don’t forget there are still 3 Favourite food: Cheesburgers and Chinese.
stored on my computer. I'm to fiddle with them and create
being auctioned off for mys- nights of amazing Rag
composite faces. It sounds like a fun job. Three or four
terious events escapades going on so be What does Rag give you: Self satisfaction and a warm feel-
should be enough. No rush.
- Athers being set up by sure not to miss them! ing inside.
Owen
Finally and most urgently I have been mandated to find a
- Stage Crew buying Owen Thursday: QUIZ NIGHT Most memorable moment at Uni: Freshers Week. And end-
staggering £8million of 'missing revenue'. That is money,
& AJ Main Union 8pm ing up singing New York New York in Royal Surrey Casualty
which has been paid to Heartland but not accredited to the
- RAG’s very own Chris at 3 am after the Club Crawl. Ask me about that one if you
City Of London Team - commission! I am scouring spread-
gave his services as a top- Friday: FNO – CELEBRITY ever see me.
sheets, faxes and reports for evidence of the claimed trans-
less ironer, whilst his buy- NIGHT (come as your
actions. I have also been telephoning several external com-
ers, Tracey and Naiomi favourite celebrity) Favourite person you would like to meet: I think Madonna to
panies as my search widens.
were bought by him to cook get her tips on looking young in old age. We all have to look
dinner – sounds interesting! Saturday: BOOZE CRUISE into the future you know.
I am starting to get concerned again about the amount I am
- Robin Harvey, our to Calais (Tickets £15 from
being asked to do. It's okay at the moment, just so long as
Chaplain, was revealed as a Union reception) Sum yourself up in 3 words: Wet, wild and horny.
I don't get given anything else.
mystery chef. A superb
 3/2/00
WHAT THE HELL IS RAG?
Ok, so you have probably
seen the posters, your
mates might even have
been talking about it. It just
might be possible that you
have actually attended one
of RAG’s events. The one
thing that everyone is ask-
ing though is ‘WHAT THE
HELL IS RAG?’
Unless you have been living
on Mars for the past week,
you would have probably
noticed that it’s that time of
year again, yes it’s RAG
WEEK. The week that has
lecturers and union staff
quaking in their boots as to
what is going to happen to
them, the week that sees
students actually giving
money away! The week
where we raise a whole load
of cash for charity and that’s
what it is all about.
Rag has been running since
the year dot and is a nation-
al society linking all universi-
ties in the United Kingdom.
The name RAG originated
from students collecting
rag’s for the poor and home-
less and like any good thing
has evolved to the fun
packed society we know
called RAG.
Each year the money raised
by Surrey RAG is split
equally to six very good
causes. This year, 1999-
2000, the charities are as
follows:
E.D.S. – Ehlers Danlos
Support Group
C.R.Y. – Cardiac Risk in the
Young
Crusaid – HIV/AIDS Charity
Breakthrough – Breast
Cancer Charity
BIBIC – British Institute for
Brain Injured Children
Duncan’s Fund – In memory
of Duncan Bloomfield
So remember have fun but
don’t forget about the caus-
es.
Charities supported by USSU
Rag Appeal
Duncan’s Fund
On March 3rd, 1987, a first
year Economics Student,
Duncan Bloomfield, tragical-
ly died at a band practice.
This band originated as the
RAD BAND, who played at
the ‘ALL DAY BLUES’ in
1986. His enthusiasm and
ability to play bass was well
noted by all in Rag during
the preparation for Rag
Week ’86.
His death came as a heart-
break to his many friends
and family so his band and
other members of Rag start-
ed a memorial fund in his
name.
The monies collected short-
to teach parents’ techniques
of increased sensory stimu-
lation that help hurt children
develop more normally.
Some of our results are
astounding.
Ehlers-Danlos Support
Group
Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome is
the name given to a rare
group of genetic disorders of
connective tissue. The dis-
order often involves the skin
which may be excessively
‘stretchy’, fragile and/or
prone to bruising. Joints
may be extremely loose
leading to repeated disloca-
tions. The walls of the blood
5
of people living with HIV in
the UK than ever before, the
calls for our help have never
been greater.
Breakthrough – Breast
Cancer
Breast Cancer kills more
than 1,000 women a month
in the UK. Breakthrough is a
research charity fighting to
reduce that to zero, but we
can only do it with your help.
Our supporters have
already helped us set up the
UK’s first dedicated breast
cancer research centre.
Here, we have brought
together some of the world’s
leading scientists to work on

Rag into the ly after his death totalled

£600+ from which a trophy
was bought. Thjis has been
New Millennium presented at all Free Fest
Band Competitions since.
For the past few years Rag has had its fair Part of the money which fol-
share of hiccups and was heading for severe lows from this year’s Rag
problems, but this year’s committee has Week will be donated to a
worked very hard to get Rag back on the map. charity of his parents’
choice.
The idea of this Rag Week is to get everyone
interested in joining up to make every event British Institute for Brain
bigger and better than the year before. Looking at other Rag committees, I have found that Injured Children
they raise as much as £60,000 in their Rag Weeks, and we can reach greater targets every Cerebral palsied, retarded,
year with YOUR support. backward, mentally handi-
capped – these are just
I cannot specify how much fun this is and it is worth every minute you put in. I wouldn’t be some of the labels common-
in Rag if I didn’t get more out of it than I put in. And to think that the money we donate could ly used to describe children
help cure a disease. with brain injury. And the
popular myth is that these
Hope to see you at the meetings, afflictions are untreatable –
that children with them can-
Jonathan Penny not improve. Our method is
Rag Chairman
vessels, gut and uterus may
be exceedingly fragile
sometimes with disastrous
consequences.
A cure for EDS is in the
future but this requires cost-
ly research. In the meantime
the support group aims to
help patients with EDS and
those around them. Another
key aim is to heighten
awareness of this largely
unknown condition among
health care and other rele-
vant professionals.
Crusaid
The leading fundraiser for
AIDS relief in Britain,
Crusaid has been dedicated
for over twelve years to
maintaining the dignity and
improving the quality of life
a focused programme of
breast cancer. So, with con-
tinuing support from people
like you, we can move
towards our vision of a
future free from breast can-
cer. Join us. We can do it
together.
CRY
Cardiac Risk in the Young
(CRY) is a self-funding char-
ity that is committed to
fundraising for ECG Testing
Programme working within
local communities – high-
lighting awareness of car-
diac abnormalities that can
endanger lives – and sup-
porting those families who
require more information or
have suffered a tragedy
from sudden cardiac death.

Review of the RAG’S NOT JUST A ONE-

Rag Raid WEEK WONDER!
The Rag Raids always proves to be a suc- Rag Mags. The magazines always prove to
cess with both the students and the local be popular with nearly 500 being sold in a
So RAG week 2000 is draw- Crawl doctors uniform! So what
community with them digging deep and this few hours. With around 10 volunteers this
ing to a close. Don’t be The London RAG raid are you waiting for? Get in
year raised year, dressed up as everything from doctors
fooled - you haven’t got rid Comedy Night featuring the touch and help out. It’s all
a r o u n d to rabbits, they all proved to be a hit with the
of us yet! RAG isn’t just for RAG pantomime for char-it-ee, mate!!
£750.00. For Wednesday shoppers.
one week, it’s for life. We Karaoke Night
those of you
are here all year round help- End of year Lakeside Event Contacting RAG:
who don’t After the shops had closed we descended
ing raise money for charity
know what a on the Union and managed to get lots of
both around campus and in RAG is constantly on the By email : HYPERLINK
Rag Raid is, it money from students who probably wont
the local community. look out for new and enthu- mailto:surreyrag@hotmail.c
involves stu- remember donating due to their drunkeness
siastic volunteers to help in o m
dents getting (No we didn’t mug them).
Even though we are still the organising and taking surreyrag@hotmail.com
dressed up
frantically organising RAG part of events, whilst at the Via our pigeon hole
and running The event, along with all the others, is
week 2000, plans are under same time consuming vast Or see the RAG notice
a r o u n d always so much fun and we celebrate with a
way for our next events. amounts of alcohol. Though board in the union for
Guildford town pint or 20 afterwards out of our own pockets
Things to look forward to the last point is not essential details.
centre con- I might add. Lets hope that all Rag Weeks
are: it really does help when you
vincing the events prove to be as or more successful as
have to parade around
public to buy the Rag Raid of 1999.
The RAG Guildford Pub Guildford high street in a

A PUB CRAWL – WITH A DIFFERENCE

Whilst sitting in Roots one
Wednesday afternoon,
when we should have been
doing something far more
constructive, we decided to
spend the remainder of the
afternoon visiting several of
Guildford’s finest alcohol
vending places. So after a
couple of pints in Roots and
kidnapping James from
Chem. Eng. (who I have to
say didn’t object to spending
the afternoon getting
pissed), we headed off on
our long walk to
Chancellors. Whilst in
Chancellors we noticed that
we were occupying one of
their superb sofas; suddenly
realising that we had rested
our rear’s on a sofa in Roots
we realised that our future
had been planned for us –
we would only visit pubs with
sofas and during our journey
we contemplated which
Guildford pub had the best
sofa. This is what we found:
Roots
There was no doubt that
their sofas were comfort-
able, but it was surprisingly
difficult to reach the table to
consume my Tex Mex
Plateful. 6.5/10
Chancellors
The ability to move these
sofas and to be able to lie
back was a definite improve-
ment. The comfort factor
was definitely higher.
However one noticeable
problem is that you can’t
reach your pint on the table
if you’re sitting back on in
the sofa – perhaps a handy
drink rest on the arm would
be an improvement? 9/10
Bar Med
Enticed in by 4 for 3 on
Fosters we occupied what
vaguely resembled a sofa,
which was surprisingly com-
fortable. 8/10
Bar Coast
On our journey to Scruffy’s
we couldn’t pass Bar Coast
without checking out their
leather sofas, which proved
to be our overall favourite.
However, the price of a pint
was a tad on the expensive
side. 9.5/10
Scruffy Murphy’s
It goes without saying that
we all partook in some
Guinness drinking in the pub
that had acted as RAG’s HQ
during last semester’s Rag
Raid. Once again, good
sofas with the additional
bonus of a TV. 8/10
Weatherspoons
Due to the fact that by the
time we arrived in
Weatherspoons we couldn’t
be arsed anymore we occu-
pied a normal table, but due
to past experience we’ll give
it 7/10
Following our last pub we
headed home to quickly
change for Wednesday
Night in the Union, but not
before a drunken incident
involving rolling down the hill
outside the Police Station –
sorry Matt and Damo – I
think that was entirely my
fault. All in all, an afternoon
well spent.
 6 3/2/00

Test your wisdom with Stars by RAG

Aries (21st Mar – 20th April)
this wordsearch A romance is full of surpris- Libra (23rd September –
RAG es this week, when Uranus 22nd October)
BREAK- moves to an unexpected A full moon early this week
THROUG position and encounters a makes you happy but you
H collision with a large foreign will have to remind your flat-
HUMAN object. mate to draw their curtains
AUCTION Unlucky object: Phallic when getting changed in
CRY shaped vegetables. future.
BIBIC Unlucky object: Hairy
BEER Taurus (21st April – 21st Flatmate
QUIZ May)
FAVOURI This weekend is going to be Scorpio (23rd October –
TE full of tension, yet still enjoy- 21st November)
CELEBRI- able when your chemist has You are the star sign known
TY a mix up with your vitamins for the sting in your tail and
CRUSAID and a bottle of Viagra. Don’t this week (as always) every-
SINGLED- worry, things should start to one gets it in the back.
OUT settle again by the 3rd term. Don’t be surprised that you
DUN- Unlucky object: Tight pair of have got no friends and your
Find these words if don’t be tight!
CANS swimming shorts. partners breath smells of cat
you can
food.
Don’t be scared, it’s If you can’t find them EDS
CHARITY Gemini (22nd May – 21st Luck Object: Whiskas Denti-
not a scam And feel weedy
GIVE June) Bits
If you get them all just You’ll feel better
You are going to feel glad
right If you give to the MONEY
PLEASE this week after getting your Sagittarius (22nd November
Give some money, needy
exam results, but don’t – 20th December)
worry, she won’t mind, in Watch out! You’re feeling
fact she will quite like it. The horny baby! But don’t
Problem Page - ‘Ask Rag’ only drawback is your fishy expect any this week as you
fingers. have some serious love
Dear Rag, Unlucky Object: Pack of decisions to make. Does
Since joining this university, I have felt that my time here as scampi and lemon Nik that sheep really look that
been great but there is something missing. A deep yearning Nac’s. good?
inside my body that I can’t understand. I am a kind, caring Unlucky Object: A Ram
young man and I need something to pass the spare time I Cancer (22nd June – 22nd
have whilst doing my postgraduate degree. I have tried July) Capricorn (21st December –
singing and although it proved popular, there is still a piece Unfortunately you live up to 19th January)
missing in my jigsaw puzzle. Do you have any suggestions? your star sign and this week Your sensible self lets rip
Dear Henry, is ruined when you get this week, when you run
I know just how you feel. My suggestion is this. A direction unwanted visitors moving in starkers through Tesco’s –
in life that is simple and you know it is right. CHARITY downstairs. Don’t worry, one oops sorry, wrong star sign.
WORK – Join Rag and help people to help others. A good visit to the health centre and Stick to what you know,
cause, and a guaranteed place in everyone’s good books. it can be cleared up. don’t try to be one of the
Life really is that easy. Unlucky object: Your pants crowd – be proud of being a
walking sideways. boring old fart.
Dear Rag, Lucky Object: Rare Inter
Nobody likes me. I mean, I’m not a nice person but i would Leo (23rd July – 22nd Aug) City 125
like someone to care for me. I know that people avoid me Being the best of all the star
but deep down inside there must be a molecule of good- signs, this week is bound to Aquarius (20th January –

Dear Russ ness in me somewhere. Can a person be this evil? I even

tripped an old lady up the other day. It was funny. What can
I do?
be great for all you good
looking, intelligent Leos. If
you are having trouble with
19th February)
You have got the right hump
this week, which is better
Dear Russ T. Devil your love life you were prob- than last week when you
I've been invited to an assessment centre. The letter didn't Dear T. Devil, ably a prematurely born had the wrong hump after
say very much about it. What exactly is it and how can I Well, you do sound like a nasty piece of work, don’t you? I Virgo. that dodgy night out at Bo’s.
best plan for it? mean, tripping up an old lady, that is really going a bit too Unlucky object: Empty Well never mind things are
far. But I am sure you are right, there must be someone out packet of Mates. on the up towards the end of
Dear Tim there somewhere who could like you. Put a poster opposite the week thanks to Mars, a
Despite the continued popularity of the interview as a your bedside that says ‘be a nice person today’ and say it Virgo (23rd August – 22nd bit of chocolate goes a long
means for selecting applicants, a number of studies have aloud 20 times every morning. I hope this helps. September) long weigh.
shown that it is not a very successful method. As a result, Well it looks like it’s going to Unlucky Object: Scales
some employers, particularly those recruiting for trainee Dear Rag, be one of those weeks,
management positions, have devised alternative assess- I like this girl and I don’t know if she likes me. We have a lot when you realise that you Pisces (20th February –
ment procedures. They usually bundle all these together of lectures together and whenever I smile at her she goes have run out of loo roll when 20th March)
and run them in what are called selection centres or assess- red. Does she like me or is she embarrassed by me smiling it’s too late, and someone It seems like everything you
ment centres. at her. I dream about her every night and the dreams else has eaten that pudding do is wrong this week, but
always have a happy ending. Does this mean something? you were keeping in the hey, it is no different to any
Although you haven't been told what sort of exercises they Rugby Lad freezer. The week is fin- other week. Don’t get excit-
intend to put you through, you can try to work it out for your- Dear Rugby Lad, ished off when the cleaner ed on the run up to your
self. The clue to it all is the job description. What sort of According to Freudian theory, dreams are a wish that you catches you in a compro- birthday ‘cos things are only
person are they looking for? If they want numerate appli- want to happen. It doesn’t necessarily mean that it is but mising position. going to get worse.
cants, it's not unreasonable to expect some sort of pencil have confidence and start up a conversation. I know how Unlucky Object: Monday Unlucky object: Everything
and paper test to measure this. If you need to display self- hard it is but just ignore fear and to quote from Nike. ‘Just night curry you touch.
confidence in the job, they may ask you to give a presenta- do it!’
tion. If assertiveness is a requirement, you are highly likely
to face some sort of group discussion to see how persua-
sively you communicate. If the job requires people who can
write clear and effective English, you may be asked to draft
a letter or précis a document.

Over the next few weeks I'll describe these exercises in

more detail in answers to letters from other students. There
is also a really good leaflet on assessment centres in the
Careers Service. I will be giving a careers talk on this sub-
ject on Monday 7 February at 1 pm in LT F. You might also
like to think about getting in some practice before the real
thing by coming to an Assessment Centre Workshop on
Wednesday 16 February. We still have places left if you'd
like to pop in to the Careers Service to reserve a slot.

Russ Clark
Careers Service
 LIVE Interview
Brixton Academy
8 th December 1999
It’s 6pm and already there’s people
milling about outside Brixton
Academy waiting to find out if there is any tickets for sale,
even though there’s a notice on the door saying Live sold
out. With that I enter the backstage of Brixton Academy
and go and meet Patrick Dahlheimer, bassist and one of
the founding members of Live.
Barefacts - So Patrick, how’s the tour going then?
“ It’s going really well, we played Leeds last night and the
crowd was fantastic. Our manager was slightly worried
about playing there, but it was amazing, a really good
show actually.”
Barefacts -In America, you are really popular but in Britain
you haven’t matched it as yet, why do you think this has
happened?
“It’s strange because in Britain the die hard fans turn up for
our gigs while in America, we play much larger venues
because most of the fans turn up for the singles not for the
other tracks on the albums. It is really nice to be able to
come to UK and play some different tracks.”
Barefacts -You played the Electric Ballroom in London
over the summer and that’s quite a small venue, how did
that go?
“It was a total sweat box, we previewed some of our new
stuff and that was really well received by the crowd.”
Barefacts -Your new album ‘ The Distance To Here’ has
had some great reviews from the British press, some even
saying that this is the greatest album of the year. How do
you feel about people saying that?
“Well, it’s obviously good to hear your do’s, but we’ve
worked as hard as we have possibly ever worked on a
record. There’s a certain energy on the record that we
haven’t had before. We’ve kinda got the Secret Samdhi
(Live’s 3 rd album) darkness out of the way, we did that
record and moved away from that phase. Things got more
positive. I think in general The Distance To Here not just
musically but the entire presence is more positive.”
Barefacts -Do you think it’s because of Ed’s beliefs that Barefacts -Who do
the album is more positive and lyrical stronger? you count as a true
“ I think that he took a little more thought on the lyrics, he rock band?
wanted to make sure that he was saying the things he “Ever since I’ve been
wanted to say and not look back and regret them in ten young child I’ve
years. So that its just honesty coming out and I think that respect R.E.M for
if you telling the truth then you can’t go wrong.” everything they have
done. I think they are
Barefacts -You first started under the name First Aid and artists and have
then Action Front, where did Live come from? always done what
“It was just before Mental Jewellery was released, we they have wanted to
were in the studios and we realised that we really didn’t do and care for the
like the name and it was time to change it. Live literally big picture. There
came out of the hat, it was the first one we pulled and are other bands that I
we’ve stuck with it.” like and listen to and Patrick Dahlheimer
appreciated but
Barefacts -What do you think of the name? there aren’t a lot of bands that I go wow to. “
“To me it was kinda of nice, it was a name it didn’t mean
anything, there was no connotations but when people saw Barefacts -So what do you think your influences have
it their first reaction was like who is that, what is that. And been over the last couple of years as a band and a
I still kinda like that factor but it’s a bit like naming your bassist?
band Free Beer. So when it up front its like who’s live.” “In my earlier years when I was at college I drew a lot of
my influence from Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, it
Barefacts -Do you think from your days as Action Front was at the time when their first album came out. But I now
that your music has progressed differently to the new think of it as the music as a whole not just looking at the
album? bassist role. I think that you learn more from about what
“Not really, sometimes wen we start to write a song I feel you don’t like than what you do because you know you just
16 years old again and I think that I don’t really know that don’t want to sound like something that bad. All of us in the
much about song writing. I feel that I should study more. I band know that Live are four parts it can’t be anything else
feel that innocence again which is good as it allows us to and this is represented in the music.”
stay fresh. I think the sound has changed slightly but it is
still the same spirit that was there to create new music.” At this point the dinner call was heralded up the corridor
and so it was the time for the interview to close. So thanks
Barefacts -Ed as been quoted as saying that ‘Rock ‘n’ to Patrick for his time and the only thing left for me to do
Roll’ has been a haystack wit a few needles over the last was to have dinner and wait for the show.
5 years’. Do you believe this?
“It seems that especially in America the bands which are Kevin Marston
played on the radio are limited by the genre or by being
very specific. I don’t see a lot bands that can venture out
and still maintain an identity without being or looking like
imitators. There don’t seem many bands that are true to The Distance To Here is out now
themselves. I see a lot of bands that go out and try to pick on Radioactive records.
up on the trend and capitalise on it. There aren’t many true
rock bands out there.”

Live And Let Live streamed it’s way to the inner conscious- can in skirts and suits
Live
Brixton Academy
ness with tracks like ‘The Dolphin’s Cry’, and
‘I Alone’, while ‘Waitress’ was effortlessly
Lyrics Quiz 15) You said my clothes were sexy, you
tore away my shirt
8th December 1999 breathtaking. It’s not every night that a cover Ahh, the smugness. Ben Mac’s chal-
John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’ is played but then lenge part II and I can still answer them And last week’s answers too
Before Live tonight Muse took the stage to again this is not every night, however it all on my ownsome.
perform a little taster of the debut album could have been done without all the talk 1) M People - Movin on up
‘Showbiz’, which was basically the that preceded the song. Obviously no Live 1) Don’t cry my precious one, cos I ain’t 2) Coolio - Gangsta’s paradise
Radiohead night could be without their radio song got no sympathy for you 3) They might be giants - Birdhouse in
sound filtered ‘Lightning Crashes’, a heart wrenching num- 2) Coming on like a seventh sense your soul
through a per- ber that was left to the crowd to sing. And so 3) I swear I left her by the river 4) Republica - Drop dead gorgeous
forator which finally all that was left to do was to ‘Dance 4) I’m the cream of the crop, I rise to 5) The Connells - ‘74, ‘75
just left a tight With You’. the top 6) EMF - Unbelievable
set but a 5) You have to wash the car, take the 7) Charles and Eddie - Would I lie?
rather dull Review & Photos: kiddies to the park 8) Shampoo - Trouble
monotonous Kevin Marston 6) Let’s plat twister, let’s play risk 9) 2 Unlimited - No limits
sound. A 7) You can’t win money at the horses 10) Billie Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky
shame really 8) Can I confess I’ve been hanging Heart
as it could around your old address 11) Chumbawumba - Tub thumping
have been so 9) That’s the way it goes, I guess 12) The Cure - Friday I’m in love
much more. 10) Beam me up , cos I can’t breathe 13) The Prodigy - Out of space
However, Live 11) If you should see her, please let her 14) Marc Almond - Jackie
don’t disap- know that I’m well 15) - Midnight at the Oasis
point, a set full 12) I ain’t got no future or family tree
of powerful 13) Make my soul trip, trip away
energy that 14) Hosing and scrubbing as best they
 a d v e r t i s i n g f e a t u r e
The Charter Ball 2000
Now the longest run-
ning event at the
University, the Charter
Ball celebrates the birth
of the University by the
granting of the Royal
Charter. This year we
have a killer double
headline for the ball.
Steve Lamacq best
known for The Evening
Sessions on Radio 1
will be doing a DJ set.
Coming on stage
straight after will be the
James Taylor Quartet
probably best known
for their rendition of the
Britains Best Comedy Starsky and Hutch
Theme Tune. Both will
The Carlsberg Ice Comedy Network, Britains biggest chain of come-
be backed up by our
dy clubs, returns for another season with another line-up of top com-
regular Friday boys
edy talent. The comedy network now encompasses over forty
Andy James & Leroy Wilson. As usual we will be putting together
venues, taking talent all round the UK. Due to the success of the live
something special to smarten up the main union. Also at the ball will
tour, Channel 5 now broadcasts acts from the network. Since the net-
be all the usual favourites. A specially extended Casino
work began coming to Surrey, We have seen the likes of Lee &
will be in Chancellors, Karaoke in the Helyn Rose Bar,
Herring, Al Murray the Pub Landlord, Bill Bailey, Boothby
Tattoist and Amazing Photographs in the main union,
Graffoe, Jim Tavare, and more. Coming up this semester..........
along with Kevin Whibley photographers. There will
also be a champagne bar, a cocktail bar, and some
Rob Rouse - Monday February 14th
surprise visitors on the
Last year saw the outstanding Rob Rouse burst onto the comedy
night!
scene as winner of both the Ha Bloody Ha New Act of the Year and
Friday 25th February.
the So You Think You’re Funny? competition at the Edinburgh festi-
Tickets £20 are on sale
val
now from reception
Julian Barratt & Noel Fielding - Monday February 28th
in 1998 Julian wrote and performed in The Mighty Boosh at the
Edinburgh Festival to great success. This led them to taking the
Perrier Award for Best Newcomer, previous winners have included
Harry Hill. The two are currently developing their own show for tele-
vision

Martin Bigpig (below) - Monday March 13th

Martin is one act you will not forget from the network, his act ranges
from juggling knives to eating insects and firing pistols with his nip-
ples. Those of you remember Martins’ previous appearance in the
Helyn Rose Bar will know that this is one act who deserves a repeat
performance

Dave Gorman - to be confirmed

Dave co-wrote the BBC series The Mrs Merton Show as well as 70’s Week 7th- and live sets. We’ll giv- second live night with
having a succesful career in stand up. He has appeared on several 13th February ing away two gradua- Edwin Starr (above).
tion ball tickets to the Appearing with his
TV shows including The Stand Up Show Celebrating the
best male and female eleven piece band,
decade of disco, we in 70’s gear that night! expect the best in
have some really spe-
The Comedy Network is held fortnightly in the Helyn cial nights set up. To
On Thursday, in the disco-soul. Saturday
Rose Bar. Admission is £2 and doors open at 8:30pm kick the week off, we’ll
brings us down with a
retro night of funk
have Carling at 70p
and jazz in the Helyn
per pint on Monday,
Rose Bar
Tuesday and Thursday
Tickets for Edwin
in the Main Union.
Starr and LuvBug are
C h a n c e l l o r s
on sale now. Priced
Challenge will be ded-
£5 each or £7.50 for
icated to the 70’s on
Main Union, we have both events when
Tuesday 8th.
the seminal disco epic bought together. On
Wednesday is the first
Saturday Night Sale from Reception
of our two big live
Fever, followed by the
nights this weeks, with
ultimate detective
LuvBug live on stage.
movie, Clint
LuvBug are like no
Eastwoods’ Dirty
other 70’s tribute with
Harry, both for free.
their DJ’s, stage show,
Friday brings us to our
UNION ENTS PLANNER
11 Music Reviews
Albums
IT’S JO AND DANNY - Lank Haired Girl
To Bearded Boy (Double Snazzy)
Welcome to the 21st Century, new styles of
music, new direction, less mainstream crap
(well, here’s hoping). O.K, think Belle &
Sebastian, think Ben & Jason. Got that
musical image? Right, hold it right there, It’s
Jo And Danny are not much different,
except maybe more experimental. It’s not
just nine, beautiful acoustic melodies
though. The opening ‘Solar Plexus’ is a
charged, sample-filled guitar romp, grabbing
one’s attention with it’s initial cool acoustic
riffage, before building up to an orgy of elec-
tric guitars, drums and the occasional elec-
tronic tweak. ‘Love Expression’ is Sneaker
Pimps meets ’Sixpence None The Richer’ -
WOLF COLONEL – Vikings Of Mint (K)
Since the advent of the CD many artists have taken it
upon themselves to use as much of the 70+ minutes
as possible. This is rarely if ever a good idea, many
great albums clock in at the 30 minute mark, artists
have realised that getting to the point works, every
time. ‘Vikings Of Mint’ sticks with the less is more for-
mula 15 songs in 28 minutes. 15 blasts of pure,
unadulterated, powerful pop-punk. 15 songs pared of
all the excess, exuding attitude with every line. A three
piece from Portland, Oregon, Wolf Colonel follow nice-
ly in the lineage from Hüsker Dü through Dinosaur Jr.,
Buffalo Tom and Guided By Voices. Sparse and mag-
nificent. 8/10 R.W.
GABRIELLE - Rise (Go Beat)
Occasionally a song reaches into you and
touches your rawest nerve. Dylan samples
and Artful Dodger remixes are completely
irrelevant when ‘Rise’ captures you and sub-
tly and simply feels for you. Absolutely
beautiful. 9/10 H.B.G.
REM – The Great Beyond (Warner
Brothers)
You have no doubt heard this on the radio,
it’s the one where Michael Stipe sings “I’m
pushing an elephant up the stairs’. From the
soundtrack to the Andy Kaufman biopic this
is REM at their slow and melodic best.
People seem to either love the band or hate
them. I go for the former. 8/10 R.W.
Single Of The Month
sounds weird, but this is a wonderful song
that reaches into the depths of your soul and
soothes with it’s delicate touch. Always plea-
surable, sometimes breathtaking, this is a
record that never lets go until after thirty five,
very short, minutes. Magical. 8/10 A.T.S.
LOUIS PHILLIPE – A Kiss in The
Funhouse (XIII Bis)
It is refreshing in these days where music is
dominated by mindless dance and the new
miserablism to occasionally discover an
artist whose music has thoughtfulness and
postivity at the same time. With sounds
ranging from ‘60’s theme music (“A Paris”)
to the pseudo-orchestral (“She Means
Everything To Me”), this anthology provides
a more than adequate introduction to the
work of this BBC sports reporter. 7/10
A.D.
SKINNY PUPPY – The Singles Collect / B-
Sides Collect (Nettwerk)
DIVINE STYLER - Word Power 2 (Mo
Wax)
Well it all started well with ‘The Andan’ with
a man singing in what sounded like Arabian
with no backing what-so-ever. It soon settled
into a more standard hip-hop affair, with a
sparse backing, however there is the occa-
sional unusual sample or subject matter. On
a few tracks it sounds rather similar to
Tricky. However there are a few tracks that
jump out and say what the hell am I doing
here, like the aforementioned ‘The Andan’
8/10 I.P.
THE BETA BAND – To You
Alone/Sequinsizer (Regal)
After their slightly disappointing eponymous
debut album, The Beta Band return to excel-
lent earlier form by throwing out an intrigu-
BUZZCOCKS – Spiral
Scratch ep (Mute)
Finally, a proper release on
CD for the classic debut ep
from the Buzzcocks.
Released in February 1977,
this was the third UK punk
record. The Pistols had the
hype, The Clash had attitude
a-plenty, but the Buzzcocks
wrote simple yet infectious
punk-rock’n’roll. You can see
why Kurt Cobain chose them
to support Nirvana on that
fateful ‘’In Utero’ tour. Their
influence on his song writing
is obvious from the off. Just
10 minutes of definitive
sounds that still sound mag-
nificent 12 years later. 10/10
R.W.
3rd February 2000
Album Of The Month
JACKIE LEVEN - Defending Ancient Springs (Cooking Vinyl)
With a minimalist approach to folk, Jackie Leven doesn’t so much write songs as tell
stories which project vivid images into your mind. In many respects tracks such as the
outstanding “Single Father” are the logical progression from greats such as Woody
Gutherie due to the level of social insight. If only all music could be this good. 9/10
A.D
No Picture Sorry (music ed)
appeal, such as the sexy ‘On the Beach’, but
Two CD’s packed with the sounds of the 13 they are let down by power chord overkill.
years career of Skinny Puppy, which encom- Potential is muffled by clinical arrangement
passes the pains, the hassle and the harsh- in a grunge-lite style. Disappointingly aver
ness of a band that influenced a multitude of age 5/10 H.B.G.
followers with their electro synth/ industrial
noise. A collection of the twisted origins of LAMBCHOP – Nixon (City Slang)
industrial music, so take a look at the ances- A weird collection of gently swaying
tors of NIN, Marilyn Manson and many melodies with mellow vocals and dreadfully
more. 7/10 K.M. scored strings reminiscent of The Divine
Comedy’s cheesier moments. I really would
GOODIE MOB – World Party (Arista) like to say something nice about this album,
According to Billboard Magazine 1999 was but its dreary, dated and what’s worse, it
the first year that hip-hop outsold rock in the seems to embody the worst facets of coun-
U.S. This trend is likely to continue if acts try, folk and easy-listening music all rolled
such as Goodie mob continue to regurgitate into one 50-minute slab. ‘What Else Could
what has been done by a thousand acts in It Be?’ sounds like a piss-poor take on the
the past three years. Although “World Party” vocal talents of Prince, whereas ‘The Book I
is interesting at first, curiosity declines as Haven’t Read’ would be carried off better by
the album progresses due a distinct lack of one of the famous old crooners. Whatever
variability. 5/10 A.D. the target market is supposed to be, I can’t
see Lambchop gaining favour with many
INHALE - Feed (Jam Inc) students. 3/10 L.A.
I really want to be positive about this; an
indie band on an independent label with real
instruments and new material. But it isn’t
enough. There’s nothing that screams orig-
inality at you, nothing that shouts come and
have some of this. There are moments that
ing, electronic-based double A-side. A
weird, yet strangely beautiful love song (‘To
Singles
You Alone’) paired with a surprisingly funky
dub symphony (‘Sequinsizer’). Let the good
times roll once again, great to have you
back lads. 8/10 A.T.S.
THE MOTORHOMES – It’s Alright (Epic) Apparently Carl Cox likes it. Maybe that’s
A fun filled number full of non Abba-esq because the opening beat from the ‘Joff
chirpyness from this five piece Swedish rock Roach & Mac Zimms Mix’ sounds like it has
band. Light and funky, see them in the union been stolen directly from his ‘FACT’ cd?
This will undoubtedly go far, but I’m afraid
on Sunday 6th Feb. 7/10 K.M.
my copy is going straight to Collector’s
Records. 5/10 L.A.
RAISSA – How Long Do I Get? (Polydor)
One look at this record and you really want
LYTE FUNKIE ONES - Girl On TV (Logic)
to hate it. You want her voice to sound ugly
LFO were a relatively good band making
and annoying, and the music to sound tacky.
quite good ambient tunes in the early
However, after repeated playing, it’s impos-
nineties, however how this lot have inherited
sible to dislike the sweet, natural vocals lay-
the acronym and they are a crap boy band
ered over a glimmering, catchy melody.
who populate the charts. A song about hav-
Even the remixes are good. Oh well, don’t
ing a crush on the unobtainable one on TV,
ever judge a book by it’s cover. 7/10 A.T.S.
which is even shitter than it sounds. Due to
not destroying the CD after the first track.
CLEARLAKE – Winterlight/Jumble
1/10 I.P.
Sailing (Dusty Company)
There’s a possibility of big things happening
for Clearlake. The debut single from this
psychedelic Brit four-piece is a double A-
side with a split personality, a good and bad
side. The estranged, guitar-fuelled brilliance This week’s reviews
of ‘Winterlight’ is far superior than the slight- by;
ly cheesy mariner mouth-organ banter that Ian Purvey, Honey Barter
is ‘Jumble Sailing’. We’ll keep an eye on Godfrey, Rob Winder, Kevin
them though. 6/10 A.T.S. Marston, Matt Ward, Andrew
Thomas, Ikraam Ullah,
STARFIGHTER – Apache (Neo/Ministry of Nikolas Michos & Lucy
Sound) Andrews
Track one, the ‘Radio Edit’ is so short and
useless as to not even be worthy of tapping
your foot to. Repetitive beats intermingle
with the sounds of distant helicopters and
that’s it. Luckily the ‘Original Mix’ is slightly
better, expanding the idea somewhat, but is
still unfortunately irritatingly facile.
 3rd February 2000 Live gigs 12
NA/the machines of god one of the defining moments of then I say long may it live, and long may
Unfriendly Halloween rock history. Pumpkins foray into their old material was
equally pleasing. To Sheila, the first track from the low
the Pumpkins live it.

Smashing Pumpkins
Dominion Theatre, London
22nd January 2000
A concert steeped amid a background of much controver-
sy. Yet what is considered controversy for a band like the
Pumpkins. Within the last year alone super-drummer
Jimmy Chamberlain has rejoined, founding member
D’arcy has left, ex Hole bassist Melissa Auf Der Maur has
joined, Ozzy’s wife Sharon Osbourne managed and then
sensationally quit claiming that head Pumpkin Billy
Corgan ‘made her sick’. This was just the last year.
Within the last week, Filter, the Pumpkins support for the
European Tour were alleged to have told the press that
the Pumpkins were to split. Due to the firebrand that the
Internet is, this was soon held to be gospel. However, just
as quick as this was truth, the Pumpkins fervently denied
it. Corgan, it was then revealed, was stricken by flu and
was told that performing would no less than permanently
damage his voice. This led to the cancelling of both the
Brussels and Manchester concerts. Tonight may have
been about the promotion of a new album, but it has just
as much become a night about the Smashing Pumpkins.
As most would have predicted, the Everlasting Gaze was
the first song of the night. Back once again to the sneer-
ing vocals, gnashing guitar riffs and bombastic drums that
established the Pumpkins sound in the first place. This
was fantastic. The new material was everything we had
hoped and more. Heavy Metal Machine, Glass + the
Ghost Children, I of the Mourning were the other standout
tracks which should serve to make the upcoming MACHI-
key Adore, was outstandingly rearranged to accommo- Gareth Nolan
date Chamberlain’s drumming ability. For those who
heard it, it will confirm that Adore was simply a very
beautiful shell of a Pumpkins album rather than a com-
plete work. An acoustic performance of 1979 was to be
the first encore. Yet it was this was a Pumpkins rendition
with a twist; a drum machine was employed to cover the
seemingly multi-talented Chamberlain on guitar.
Yet, what was the role of the aforementioned controversy
in the proceedings of tonight’s performance? Quite sim-
ply, it served to fuel the Pumpkins fire. Tonight, Tonight
was bearly recognisable played at increased speed to
make it practically thrash metal. Although at some points
the gig did appear to be a struggle for the ill Corgan. Half
way through the eclectic performance of Cherub Rock, as
if it was too much for him, he requested the crowd to help
him explaining he was ill. Once or twice we did catch a
glimpse that he was a tad jaded, yet he continued with
every ounce of energy he could muster. All this simply
served to create a truly unique and personal Pumpkins
experience. It seems after all that Corgan is flesh and
blood just like the rest of us.
But what of Rock? Corgan once claimed it was dead.
Tonight’s show has answered that with resounding con-
tradiction. Ironically, he and his Smashing Pumpkins are
the very embodiment of Rock. Perhaps there was a time
when it seemed the Pumpkins had died, and as such
Corgan’s ego equated that to rock’s death. Yet, all this is
in the past, and now, just as the Pumpkins have been
resurrected, so, it would seem has Rock. Ultimately, if
performances like tonight mean that Rock is in fact alive,

OFU - Semester 2
OSCAR FILM UNIT
RUSHMORE 6/2 8PM
LTG
TASTE OF
CHERRY
9/2 8PM LTG
F*ck a duck what an excellent season OFU
are bringing you to see in the new century.
On Sundays we bring you some blockbuster
bullshit to offer an alternate entertainment.
We have the likes of The Sixth Sense,
Entrapment and A Bug’s Life. Every
Wednesday we bring you a different taste
altogether with a broad selection of subtitled
films and
some classics such as Get Carter and My
Fair Lady.
This week’s OFU film is the little heard of yet
extremely fulfilling film that is Rushmore, its
headline star is Bill Murray with support from
the likes of Jason Schwartzman and Olivia
Williams. Many movie buffs have placed this
in their top twenty films of last year, which is
quite an achievement for a little heard of film.
The story centres around Max (Scwartzman)
who, as a fifteen year old at a private school,
gets expelled when one of his plans goes
wrong. Being academically stupid (due to
the fact that he consistently organises new
clubs and societies) means that when he
enroles in a regular high school he isn’t pop-
ular at all. Olivia plays Ms. Cross, one of the
teachers at the private school, who Max falls
for (and rightly so), so he tries to win her
over. He also befriends the local millionaire,
who also falls for Ms. Cross. Max finds this
out and seeks vengeance!
This is an enjoyable and entertaining film,
before last year’s Oscar nominations there
were even whispers that Bill Murray could be
on the list. This is a remarkable comedy with
few rivals, filmed in an exceptional style by
the director Wes Anderson. This is a good
film for the season to start with, come and
enjoy.
The Arts film this week is Taste of Cherry or
Ta’me e guilass. This is another foreign lan-
guage film, filmed in Iran using the Persian
language. It obviously includes subtitles so 2.50 per film, these are
that we can all enjoy its beauty. It was direct- available by putting your name on the list in
ed by Abbas Kiarostami and starred the union post room and
amongst others Homayon Ershadi as Mr
Badii and Abdolrahman Bagheri as Mr Baghi
giving us your money at the film, no reserva-
tion no entry.
the A full list of films is below;
Taxidermist.
OFU
The story revolves around Mr Badii who 6/2 Rushmore
13/2 Entrapment
plans to commit suicide but needs someone
to help him, he himself has already dug the 20/2 A Bug’s Life
grave up in the mountains but needs some- 27/2 The Faculty
one to bury him once he has commited the 5/3 Ten Things I Hate About You
deed. He 12/3 South Park
asks many people, most of whom refuse for 19/3 The Thomas Crown Affair
one reason or another. Finally he succeeds 26/3 The Sixth Sense
by finding the taxidermist who is willing, he plus two secret films after easter
had attempted suicide himself and knows
how Mr Badii feels. Arts
9/2 Taste of Cherry
This has been called one of the best movies 16/2 The Smallest Show on Earth
in the history of the big screen. You can not 23/2 Analyze This
disagree unless you come and see it next 1/3 The Man Who Knew Too Much
Wednesday. 8/3 An Ideal Husband
15/3 My Fair Lady
Season Tickets are available for eight 22/3 Sweet Hereafter
pounds before and after each film, 29/3 Get Carter
they also enable you to watch arts films for
free, what a bloody bargain. An excellent selection of films to watch
Single tickets are also available at a cost of Ben Price
13
SOCIETIES UPDATE
Welcome to the second Societies
Update. This feature exists for you to
find out what activities there are for you
to get involved in at Surrey. It doesn’t
matter that you didn’t sign-up to join at
Fresher’s Fair - any society will wel-
come new members with open arms, so
get in touch. If you want to tell Barefacts
readers what your society is up to, then
drop a note to the Barefacts editor, or
email barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
GREENSOC
Time: Tuesdays, 6.30pm
Place: Lecture Theatre K
Contact: mu91ev@surrey.ac.uk
Greensoc are organising GREEN
WEEK during week 6 of this semester
(28th Jan-3rd Feb). This will hopefully
be a series of events and activities to
raise awareness of ‘Green’ issues while
generally having a good time. To make
this a success we need your ideas and
help. We are hoping to include a Quiz
night in Chancellors, a karaoke evening
in the Helyn Rose Bar, a Green Fair
with stalls representing local and
national groups ranging from FairTrade
food to Environmental organisations.
If you have any other ideas, or can
spare some time to help organising any
events please email us at
mu91ev@surrey.ac.uk or come along to
our Greensoc meetings on Tuesdays at
6:30 in LTK - all contributions gratefully
received! We want to make this a week
to remember, as well as to encourage
more people to become involved in
‘Green’ and environmental issues.
Finally, a couple of Green pointers for
the New Year:
* Take your old Christmas cards (if you
still have them!) into the Post Office in
Guildford, where they are being collect-
ed for recycling.
* Take some action! Surrey Wildlife
Trust is looking for volunteer workers to
take part in some practical conservation
projects on Sundays until March. If you
are interested in giving a hand, please
contact them on 01483 488055.
Emma
PHOTOSOC
Time: Tuesdays, 6pm
Place: Lecture Theatre A
Contact: cs61ch@mcs.surrey.ac.uk
PhotoSoc are the people for all things
photographic. We have organised a pic-
ture taking expedition around the cam-
pus and are currently teaching mem-
bers to develop and print black and
white pictures. Plans are afoot to go to
see Photo Exhibitions in London.
Members who are competent darkroom
technicians are able to use our fully
equipped darkroom and use the FREE
paper and chemicals provided. If you’ve
never seen a picture processed before
come along to one of our regular
Tuesday evening meetings in LTA at
6.00pm. After a short chat we usually
then decamp to the darkroom to get on
with the printing and can show you what
you are missing.
For further information contact
cs61ch@mcs.surrey.ac.uk
Chris
BALLROOM
DANCING
SOCIETY
Time: Wednesdays, 7.30pm
Place: University Hall (may change at
exam time - please check with us)
Contact: bds@surrey.ac.uk
If your experience of “Balls” at
University has been one of discos in
dinner-wear, sports in the wind and rain,
or more nocturnal pursuits then per-
haps its time to quickstep over to the
Ballroom Dancing Society. Every
Wednesday night at the University Hall
we have professional teachers Mary
and Connie giving lessons in Ballroom
and Latin dancing - ranging from Waltz
and Tango to Jive and Pasa Doble
(sorry, we don’t do Salsa!).
We’ve heard all the excuses before, “I
can’t dance.”, “I’ve got two left feet.” -
the classes are taken at a pace with
which everybody can be comfortable.
First the teachers demonstrate, then
you copy and finally you partner up for
‘hands-on’ experience.
“I’ve got nobody to go with.” - most peo-
ple do not bring a partner, we normally
get a fairly even mix of guys and girls
and arrange it so that everyone gets to
dance. Besides which we encourage
people to swap round and dance with
as many people as possible - its the
best way to learn. “I go to the Union on
Wednesday nights.” Our lessons run
from 7.30pm - 9pm so there’s plenty of
time to get over to the Union afterwards.
So there really is no excuse not to give
it a go, you might even enjoy it. Just
before Christmas we had the BDS
SnowBall with guest DJ the legendary
Ross Mitchell (legendary in Ballroom
Dancing circles anyway). And it was an
absolute cracker. We hope to have
another ball around Easter time. This
semester we hope to take medals as a
formal recognition of our abilities and
also hope to compete in the SUDA
championships that take place next
spring in Guildford.
For more information about one of the
most active and sociable societies at
Surrey contact us at bds@surrey.ac.uk
or pop along to one of our lessons.
Andy
OSCAR
FILM UNIT
Time: Tuesdays, 6pm
Place: Lecture Theatre H
Contact: eep2ag@surrey.ac.uk
We have finally got our hand on our
new 16mm camera, and are ready to
start shooting some short films - you
may have already seen us looking like
berks doing Benny Hill scenes around
campus! Anyway, we need people who
are keen to help us
make a few short films to show before
our Sunday night films. If you’re inter-
ested, then please get in touch.
Andy
3/2/00
GREENSOC
(part deux)
Time: Tuesdays, 6.30pm
Place: Lecture Theatre K
Contact: mu91ev@surrey.ac.uk
EXPANSION OF THE MANOR
FARM CAMPUS
The university is currently seeking per-
mission to build on 75ha green belt land
at Manor Farm in order to cater for an
estimated student increase of 50%. In
1965 365 acres of land was allocated
for the relocation of Guildford polytech-
nic and long-term development of the
university. Stag Hill campus and the
Research Park were built and since
then the remaining area including
Manor Farm (adjacent to the Research
Park) has been made into green belt,
following a movement to preserve open
spaces in and around urban areas.
Now with the university is proposing to
build at Manor Farm, providing a range
of academic and research buildings,
and more accommodation. At the
moment the plans submitted are non-
specific, but could also incorporate
expansion of the Research Park with
it’s industrial and economic function.
This raises a number of issues:
1) Should the university be building on
Green belt land, or as an institution
should we be supporting the national
aims to restrict further greenfield site
development?
2) If it goes ahead, what functions and
facilities should the new campus have?
3) Why is a tripling of area required to
accommodate twice the number of stu-
dents?
4) The university says this will be the
final move of the greenbelt designated
area, but if we are allowed to develop
there then other companies are also
going to put pressure on the council to
expand, making the green belt status
meaningless.
5) There is also a further parcel of land
owned by the university beyond the cur-
rent extension - how do we know the
university won’t also push to develop
that as well later?
6) The university has an Environment
Policy (it can be found on the university
homepage) stating that it “recognises If you can spare just 1-2 hours a
week for 6 weeks then you can
its obligations to contribute to the reso-
lution of global and local issues by
reducing its environmental impacts and get the experience and a recog-
by taking a leading role in promoting nised certificate in management
competence!
environmental good practice”. Where
does building on the green belt fit into
this...?
For almost 2 years we have been
7) At what point do environmental con-
siderations become more important
offering this scheme to Surrey
than economic developments?
Last week Dr. Malcolm Parry from the students and many ex-student
managers have said it was picked
Research Park office gave an interest-
ing presentation to Greensoc on these
up at job interviews after they
issues. If anyone has an opinion we
would be pleased to hear from you. had graduated.
Drop us a note at the Union, come
along on Tuesday or email us at
mu91ev@surrey.ac.uk
Emma So if you think that you are good
with people, have a sense of
humour and want to find out
more, call Mary Dickinson on
01483 259920 or internal x 9920.
 3/2/00 14

Discounts for Students (£18 per hour)

Discounts on block bookings (£170 for 10 bookings)

ADI, D.S.A. approved female instructor

Door to door service from University

High Pass Rates

Experienced, friendly and patient tuition

Theory help available

Advanced and motorway tuition taught

1st Class lessons at a competitive price

20 years experience

NOTICES & AGMs

The Fencing Club will be holding an AGM on Thursday 10th February at
7.30pm Welfare and Support Committee Five pounds on shopping? How do you keep on going?
in the Campusports Hall. Contact daniel.kerr1@virgin.net for more info.
A new committee for this year. Hey Hopalong - Get your foot checked soon or you’ll need a
Trampolining AGM A chance for you to let us know what problems students are facing peg leg!
6pm at this University and an opportunity to help sort them out.
Campusport Hall aaaaahhhhhhhh! My knee hurts, Chris gave me the cold
Wednesday 9th February 2000 Everyone welcome! shoulder!
Sports Exec to attend: Caroline Smith
Grant Mitchell Room nnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
Oscar Film Unit AGM, 6pm, 8th February, Lecture Theatre H. Students’ Union
Everyone welcome to help run the society and use our new Harry, how’s your camel?
movie camera to make short films. 6 pm, February 10th 2000
Matt, learn how to play tennis!
Uni Talent Contest !!! For more information contact Emma on ext 9228
Jack,jack,jack,jack,jack,jack bonus points I feel!
Will be held in weeks 8 & 9 this semester. Entry forms (available near soci-
ety pigeon holes in the union) must be returned by the end of week 6. L.S Keep on protecting that lollipop from that funky pink
Stage Crew (EGM): Monday 7th Feb, 6pm HRB squirrel L.P
Any questions contact uni_unplugged@hotmail.com Iranian Society: Thursday 10th Feb, 5pm (venue TBC)
Uncle Bulgaria, what I want to know is, if one weighs 75g
Netgamer Society: Thursday 10th Feb, 7.30pm, LT H what the hell does the other one weigh?
Christian Union AGM will be on Japanese Society: Tuesday 15th Feb, 7.30pm, TB 18
Wednesday 16th Feb. Christian Union: Wednesday 17th Feb, 6pm, LT B Ma did you see what I did there Da!!
(wk. 4) at 18h00 in LT B.
Exec etc...Thanks for all your help & support this week -
Are you looking for experience in Welfare or remember things can only get better!
Social Sciences? A reminder all Clubs/societies to hand in their
Send 1-14 congratulates Claire M on her new title of
checked and signed accounts for semester 1 “Thrumper”
Do you have a couple of hours to spare per to Trish!!

week?
Uni, the Union Helpdesk, is looking to recruit volun-
teers to run this invaluable information and referral ser-
vice. You’ll only need to put in a couple of hours a
week, and will receive accreditation for your work as
part of the KSVA scheme. (a joint award between the
University of Surrey and Kingston University.)
Personals
Ducky + Robbo - USFC 4th XI in welsh tour comedy: we
expect a report for next weeks’ BF. PS how’s your driving wil-
son? handbrake off? Jonah
Have you heard the one about the jellyfish and the warm apple
pie?
gliding@surrey.ac.uk Try it, you might like it!
Mile High Club? Come Gliding. gliding@surrey.ac.uk
Rude Bird - 3 in 15! Let’s hope there’s something good on T.V.
this weekend!
Anthony (K.B.) welcome to the incestuous family!

For more information, contact Sarah Maguire

(S.Maguire@surrey.ac.uk), Rodney
(R.Bates@surrey.ac.uk), or just call into the Union
Offices.
TAIZE
Music & Prayer in the style of Taize
6:30 p.m. on Thursday 3 February in
Room 2 Quiet Centre
(Behind Cathedral Court)
ALL WELCOME
Bates
The five S’s can be done at the same time Keren!! And I can
prove it. PGA FORUM
Christina, you were definitely the best pull of the week! Love K.B. Wednesday 9th February
(WEEK 3) 6-7pm LTK COMPUTING FACILITIES
Ross, who needs toothpaste when you’ve got Guinness?
Does the University give
Pand - bought a floaty little number yet? Love two of the sexy You are all welcome to you suitable computing
bitches. attend the first PGA feed- facilities?
back and suggestions
Stumpy, remember, remember the 13th of December! forum which will be dis- LIBRARY SERVICES
cussing ACADEMIC Could the library hours be
Where’s Wally? Last seen at Gill Avenue cleaning his teeth! FACILITIES. We will raise extended?
and discuss the following Do you want more facili-
To all the Sexy Bitches, have loads of fun at the H&C Ball! that apply to research and ties out of semester time?
taught postgraduate stu-
Alro - I wonder if Avon will call this week - Bloody hope so, love
Poo xx dents : http://www.ee.surrey.ac.u
k/Societies/pga
Dave, what’s that on your neck? (Yes, I remembered to put it in DESK SPACE pga@surrey.ac.uk
this week!!!) Do you have enough desk
space?
Two pints of banana milkshake and a packet of gravy, that’s an Do you have any at all?
odd shop!
 3/2/00
SURREY PRIDE 15

Picking Up Waves
Although only a few of us
went to East Witterings this
weekend, it was great fun
and a good time was had by
all. The best surf for weeks
was decent enough (pic-
tured at low tide) and picked
up to some pretty big waves
when the tide was right in.
Despite having to make do
with a limited selection of
hire wetsuits nobody was
too cold and the water will
start getting warmer before
too long. I made a subcon-
scious sacrifice of my watch
to the ocean gods but had
such a great time (shown
putting the brakes on too
much and about to lose the
wave) that I didn’t really
mind. Two beginners were
initiated into the world of
surf and both Hasan and
Neil were starting to get to
grips with handling the
board at the end of it all.
Both have said how useful
the clubs training video is
and I was able to keep an
eye on them and offer a little
advice. All beginners should
try to come along to a meet-
ing before they first go surf-
ing to watch it, if you can’t it
may be possible for you to
borrow it. Having surfed
before Tom was quick to
head further out to sea for
the bigger stuff despite hav-
ing a board a little on the
small size for his height.
This Weekend.
Heading back to Witterings
or Bournemouth (host to a
Southern Surfing competi-
tion last week) we will be
making a full day of it to give
people ample time to have a
go in the calmer low tide
surf or the more vicious stuff
coming in at high tide.
Transport and equipment if
you share your board (you
will not physically be able to
surf all day) should be
around £7 (we hope to have
our own wetsuits by the
weekend). Due to predict-
ing surf it is not possible to
say which day we will go but
generally Sundays will be
easier for booking transport.
First Newquay Trip
The weekend of the 12-13 th
February should play host to
our first trip to Cornwall for
some world famous breaks
and a fantastic nightlife.
Again if you are interested
you should let me know by
next Tuesday so I can con-
firm minibus bookings and
accommodation.
Meetings/ Socials.
To prevent problems in the
future, the meeting venue
will be posted on our notice
board (towards the sabbati-
cal offices) either on or
before the day when possi-
ble. You can also contact
me for details by calling
54460 on a campus phone
(mobile 07941035843) or e-
mailing ce91dc. We are
now going to be holding reg-
ular meetings/socials on
Tuesdays to give people
lots of notice when some-
thing important is coming up
and they really need to
come along. They will start
at 6pm and for the next few
weeks will include a show-
ing of the training video
starting from 7.30pm.
General activities will cover
videos, surf predictions for
the weekend and exchang-
ing stories about those 50 TELEGRAPH COMPETITION
foot waves that we all
caught last year. Come
along to Chancellor today
from 8pm (by the sofas if I
can grab them) for a drink if
WIN £20,000
you fancy it. for sport at the University of Surrey

Aim of competition: For all those Universities involved in the competition to collect as
many Telegraph Mastheads as possible. These will be sent in to the Telegraph, and the
University collecting the most could win up to £20,000 for Sport at their University!

Why it would be nice for Surrey University to win: There are so many different areas of
sport at the University, catering for abilities and tastes. To win this money would mean a lot
to sport here. For instance it could go towards buying new equipment, funding new facilities,
upgrading old equipment, funding the ID Sports Programme and Union Sports Clubs, pro-
viding sponsorship towards our ESP (Elite Sports Persons) Programme, and generally pro-
viding more quality opportunities for students to take part in sport in all its shapes and forms
at the University of Surrey.

Dates of competition: 19th January - 9th April

What you have to do: Cut out and collect Telegraph Mastheads (the top of the front page,
including the date) and hand these into any of the Collection Points. Encourage your
friends, family, neighbours, etc. to collect them too.

Special Offer: Get the Telegraph for just 15p - with a valid Student Card and vouchers from
a special discount booklet. These are available from the Sports Office, Students’ Union,
Univeristy of Surrey, or either telephone 0800 181 222, write to Telegraph Discounts, PO
Box 7778, Colchester, CO2 8WH or email dpemail@gfm.co.uk and please quote reference
120.

Collection points: Students’ Union Reception Desk, University of Surrey

Senate House Reception Desk, University of Surrey
Campusports Centre Reception Desk, University of Surrey
Varsity Centre Reception Desk, University of Surrey

Campus Dance
Or, send to Telegraph Competition, c/o Sports Office, Students’ Union, University of Surrey,
Guildford, Surrey GU2 5XH

MoreInformation: www.juiced.co.uk (and then click on the ‘SPORT’ section

Community Sports Leaders Award in Dance Dance classes with places available- just
(CSLA Dance) will take place at the sports turn up

centre beginning weekend 19/20 February
11am-4pm and then every wednesday
beginning March 1st for 8 weeks 6.30-
8.30pm. Prices are £80, concs £40.
Details/bookings contact Vicky Balaam,
Surrey Dance Project 01483 776128 or
email dance@surreycc.gov.uk deatails also
from Philipa,Campusdance Manager x9891
or email P.Robbins@surrey.ac.uk.
Latino Night, Feb 4th cancelled due to the
refurbishment of The Varsity Centre bar.
Next ‘night’ on March 10th - should be
HOT!!!!!!!
Golf News
World Dance - Monday 8pm Tap Room
Scottish Country Dancing - Thursday 7pm
Tap Room.
Royal & Ancient Bursaries have been Steven Brander - 1/2 Bursary
Theatre Jazz (7-11 yrs) - Saturday 9.30am
awarded this year to: Elite squad members also include Neil
StudioTheatre Jazz (12-15 yrs) - Saturday
Summers, Chris Redhead, Ajay Patel.
10.30amStudio
Mark Booker
Richard Caldwell Currently the team is through to the first
Dance Courses with places available- must
Nicola Timmins round proper of the Cup Competition. This
book at sport centre reception
Jamie O’Doherty will take place at Farnham GC against
before participating,
Alexandra Sutherland University of East Anglia on Wednesday
John Holmes 16th February 10.30am - supporters very
Jazz Beginner - Monday 6.30pm TB10
Chris Gobby welcome. For more details contact ‘Mr Golf’
Jazz Continuing - Monday 7.45pm TB10
Katie Laud - 1/2 Bursary Geoff Wheeler x9201.
 SURREY PRIDE
Insulated Mugs and Ultra-Sheep
We’re the Mountaineering
Club - More than just climbers.
Brrr! Winter…. Since most of us are southerners, the
weather was considered to be far too cold for climbing out-
doors over the Crimbo holidays. This is the time of year
when the more hardy/foolish/suicidal (delete as applicable)
take over.
Jan. 3rd Fort William, Scotland: This haven for winter
climbers and mountaineers had its post-millennium slum-
ber shattered as a group of current and former club mem-
bers began their week of playing in the snow and ice of the
Scottish mountains.
Jan. 19th Hathersage, Peak District: With clear, settled but
bloody cold weather forecast, some of the clubs more
ground-orientated members saw this as the perfect
chance to try out their shiny new walking boots and water-
proofs, whilst working off some of the Christmas calories.
We soon realised that Dan and Simon couldn’t navigate
further than the nearest pub, when they planned a route up
a stream and through a nice deep marsh.
However, after two days, the temptation grew too strong
and, amidst snow showers, we had to find some climbing.
The result of which was frozen fingers all round.
“Mr Gimp”
Snodonia North Wales.
After 5 weeks of scoffing Christmas chocolates and mince
pies, it was back to university and a new semester of lec-
tures. This involves far too many brain-cells for my liking
and so when a few other members of the U.S.M.C. sug-
gested a weekend in Wales I wasn’t about to disagree.
There were a small group of us all set with waterproofs,
boots, thermoses full of coffee and the pillow or two for
comfort. Not that we went walking with the pillows,
although they would have been quite nice to sit on rather
than cold stone slabs when we stopped for a tea break or
several. We were lucky in that it only rained properly at
night, right about the time when we were all cosily wrapped
up in sleeping bags, dreaming of interesting cliff faces to
climb. But the winds were high (not just from Saturday
night’s curry!) and at points the walking started to deterio-
rate from a straight line into drunken side to side stagger-
ing while we fought to keep our balance. We walked all of
Saturday morning and visited several gear shops in the
afternoon, spending minus amounts of money (i.e. over-
drafts and loans) to acquire various (essential?) items
such as brightly coloured gaiters, clip-together cutlery,
insulated mugs, and some trousers made of something
called ultrafleece. Not being too well up on this term, I was
forced to wonder what an ultraSHEEP looks like!
There was more walking on Sunday, and the ground was
even wetter than it had been the day before. We started
to wonder of Ordnance Survey had got its colours wrong,
since every time we tried finding a path, we discovered a
stream instead. After a brief stop for an ice-cream lunch,
we made a visit to a waterfall, scrambled back up to the
road, and continued on around the lake, pausing only to
work out the function of a half submerged building.
Personally, I didn’t think it was a boat house or a flooded
out-building at all; I think it’s the type of mansion you could
only expect to buy as a very well to do freshwater carp. Or
maybe not. We eventually reached the minibus again, and
after bacon sandwiches at a handy little café, set off home
towards some very well deserved showers. International Football League
The University International 11 to a semester long football
Heidi (first time on a Club trip). a side Football League is tournament, please contact us
back! After a very successful for more information:
If all this sounds worth having a go at, come along to the tournament last year, in which Andrea Bora
club Tuesdays 7-9pm, Wednesday 3-5pm and Friday 7- seven teams took part, this email: ee51ab@surrey.ac.uk
9pm at The Vertex Climbing wall at Campusport. year we are ready to make it Tel:01483 300178
The next club trip is to the Gower peninsula 18th - 20th even better. If you are a group The tournament will start on
Feb. We are also running beginners’ climbing course on of (at least!) 11 friends week 4, therefore we need to
Tuesday evenings for those who missed the one last (whether of the same ethnic have heard from you by the end
semester. For more details contact Dan on ch61dd@sur- background or not), enjoy foot- of week 3 at the latest.
rey.ac.uk. ball and are ready to commit

Sporting Vernacular- Special Edition

Caught on Camera The Campusport Spot
Free week has now passed
and we have places on the
following courses,
Badminton Beginners -
Tuesday 7.30pm
Squash Beginners -
Wednesday 3pm VC
Squash Continuing -
Wednesday 4pm VC
Golf Beginners - Thursday
6.15pm
Workshops (come and try) as
part of the student clubs in
Trampoline, Canoeing, and
Volleyball.
There are at least two exer-
cise and fitness classes a
day (even at weekends) so
there must be something for
you. Aerobics, Step
Aerobics, Legs,
Bums and Tums, Breakfast
Fitness, Absolute
Abdominals, Stretch and
Conditioning Classes. Info
available via leaflets at
receptions or x9891/9201
Circuit training - A wonderful
opportunity to work out at the
Dave from surf club, pondering the merits of surfing in Guildford. sport centre at your own
pace. Beginners are as wel-
come as is the committed
sports person,
Monday 5.10pm
Tuesday 5.10pm
Thursday 5.10pm
SUNDAY 6pm
Childrens Activity Weeks
2000 - Bigger and better!
All the weeks are 9-5pm with
drop offs and pick ups 1/2 an
hour before and after. The
cost is £75/week (four day
Easter Week £60). Each
week will include a full day
drip to High Ashurst Outdoor
Centre as well as the usual
trips to canoeing at
Waterside. A new addition
this year will be circus
skills including juggling,
trapeze, and mono cycle.
Due to legislation the age
limit will be 8-14 yrs - sorry no
one under 8 can be accept-
ed. Numbers are restricted to
a maximum of 60 and again
there is no flexibility on this
number due to staff/child
ratios. Bookings (with pay-
ment)and or application
forms can be made at the
sport centre reception or con-
tact
J.Perrin@surrey.ac.uk
(x9298).
Tuesday 25th - Friday 28th
April
Monday 31st July - Friday 4th
August
Monday 7th August - Friday
11th August
Monday 14th August - Friday
18th August
Monday 21st August - Friday
25th August
Inter Departmental Entries
need to be in to the sport
centre by THURSDAY 3rd
FERUARY 2pm - start date
for competitions is MONDAY
14th FEB
John.M.Perrin,
( Sports Centre
Manager/Shop Manager,
Campusport, University of
Surrey)
Tel. (01483) 259298
Fax. (01483) 300245
Visit our web site today -
http://www.surrey.ac.uk/Cam
pusport