A Cauliflower in Her Hair

Mr. and Mrs. Garland and their daughter

Virginia lived in a pleasant house in a pretty
town and every night at seven they ate the
agreeable dinner cooked by Agnes, the maid
who cooked well and dusted adequately and
made beds abominably. Mr. and Mrs. Garland
belonged to two country clubs and Mr. Garland
had a mustache; Mrs. Garland had given up
evening gowns in favor of dinner dresses and
had two fur coats, a leopard and an inferior
mink. Virginia was in first year high school and
went out with the captain of the basketball
team. Every Saturday night Mr. Garland shook
hands with this young man and they chatted
jovially about the war until Virginia came down
the stairs wearing her mothers perfume.
Virginia was fifteen years old, Mr. Garland was
thirty-nine, and Mrs. Garland was forty-one.
One evening at dinner it would have
been about twenty minutes past seven
Virginia remarked: Mother, Millie said shed be
around tonight. Can I skip helping Agnes with
the dishes?
What is Millie? Mr. Garland inquired,
regarding the cauliflower Agnes was offering,
a cow?

Virginia giggled. She looks a bit like

one, she said. Only she isnt. Shes Millie,
from school school. Shes coming over and
were going to do algebra.
Millie can wait while you help Agnes,
Mrs. Garland said. She looked at Virginia to
make Virginia realize that Agnes must be kept
in good humor. It doesnt take ten minutes,
and Millie can wait.
Ill entertain Millie, Mr. Garland said
helpfully, Millie and I will do all your algebra.
Used to be quite a hand at algebra, he told
Mrs. Garland solemnly.
Youre still quite a hand at talk, Mrs.
Garland said. Take some cauliflower before it
gets too cold. Agnes has to have some too, you
know.:
Millie hasnt been in school long,
Virginia said. She didnt come until the second
semester and Im helping her catch up.
Very kind of you, Mr. Garland said.
The doorbell rang, and Virginia dropped
her napkin. When she says early she means
this early, she said.
That would be Millie? Mr. Garland
inquired.
Virginia answered the door and Mr. and
Mrs. Garland could hear her voice for a minute
in the hall. Then she came back into the dining
room, leading Millie. Millie was pretty and
stupid-looking, and she had heavy black
eyelashes and wore a great deal of lipstick.

This is my mother and father,, Virginia

said, sliding into her chair, this is Millie. Pull up
a chair, Millie.
Mrs. Garland frowned slightly. Have you
had your dinner, Millie?
Yes, Millie said. She looked at Virginia
and giggled. I ought to wait in the living
room, she said, but Ginny said to come right
on in.
Of course, Mr. Garland said, have
some cauliflower?
Millie giggled again, staring at Mr.
Garland.
If you dont care to eat it, Mr. garland
said, you could wear it in your hair.
My father never takes anything
seriously, Virginia said to Millie. Hes like that
all the time, dont mind him.
Maybe youll have some dessert with us,
Millie? Mrs. Garland said.
No, thank you, Millie said.
If you eat anything, Mr. Garland
scowled ferociously at Millie, youll have to
wash dishes. Anyone eats in this house, right
after dinner they have to go out in the kitchen
and wash dishes.
Charles! Mrs. Garland said. Youll
frighten the child.
Millie isnt scared of anything, Mother,
Virginia said, Millie and I can do anything.
Ill bet Millie can do anything, Mr.
Garland said. Mrs. Garland looked up.

Virginia, she said finally, since you

and Millie have to do algebra. Ill explain to
Agnes and she wont mind if you dont help
her.
Hallelujah, Virginia said. Come on,
Millie. Be excused, Mother?
Mrs. Garland nodded and Virginia slid off
her chair and ran out of the dining room,
waving Millie to follow her.
Mr. and Mrs. Garland were quiet for a
little while after Virginia and Millie had left the
room, until finally Mrs. Garland remarked: She
doesnt seem like an awfully nice girl, does
she, this Millie?
I dont know, Mr. garland said, putting
down his coffee cup, she looked all right to
me.
Mr. and Mrs. Garland were sitting quietly
in the living room some time later, Mrs.
Garland doing needlepoint she was making a
footstoolMrs. Garland reading the Saturday
Evening Post, when Virginia and Millie,
heralded by a clatter of feet from upstairs,
burst into the room.
Mother, Virginia cried as she came,
Mother, we finished our homework and can
we go down and get a soda, Mother?
Mrs. Garland thought. I suppose so, she
said slowly, only hurry back.
Wait, Mr. Garland said reaching into his
pocket, bring back some ice cream and well

all have some. Mother and I would like some

ice cream.
I dont think Mrs. Garland said.
Virginia rushed over and grabbed the
money from her fathers hand. Back in two
seconds, she said, and she and Millie ran out
again.
They do rush around so, dont they,
Mrs. Garland said, turning back to her
needlework.
Theyre young, Mr. Garland said, let
them have their fun.
I dont think we should encourage Millie
as a friend for Virginia, Mrs. Garland said, she
doesnt seem to be quite a nice girl.
She seems all right to me, Mr. Garland
said.
Millie and Virginia put the ice cream in
dishes and brought it in to Mr. and Mrs.
Garland. Mr. Garland received his with disgust.
Why should Millie, he inquired, get away
with so much and only leave this little bit for
me?
Millie giggled. I dont have one bit more
than you do, Mr. Garland.
I dished it out myself, Virginia said.
You certainly do, Millie. Mr. Garland
went on, I got robbed. He went over to Millie
to compare dishes and sat down next to her on
the couch. Now Im going to sit right down
here, he said, and watch every bit you eat,

and count how much you have, and then youll

be sorry you didnt let me have more.
Millie giggled again. Stop Mr. Garland,
she said, Im choking.
Charles, Mrs. Garland said, youre
spoiling the girls good time.
No, Mrs. Garland, Millie said, I think
Mr. Garlands awfully funny.
Now, Im funny, Mr. Garland said. First
you rob me of my ice cream and then you think
Im funny. Just a silly old man, I guess.
Youre not an old man, Millie said.
Hes old enough not to act like a clown,
Mrs. Garland said sharply.
I dont think youre old at all, Millie
protested, really, I think youre young.
Millie giggled.
My fathers always like that, Virginia
said to Millie. Hes always fooling people.
Wouldnt go out with a guy my age,
would you, Millie? Mr. Garland said.
Millie looked up at him. I couldnt say,
she said.
Now dont tease me, Mr. Garland said.
Mrs. Garland rose, put down her sewing,
and went to the door.
In the doorway she stopped for a minute.
Virginia, she said, without turning around, I
want to speak to you for a minute, please.
Virginia got up and followed her mother
out of the room. Be right with you, Millie, she
said

When Virginia was gone Millie turned

around to Mr. Garland. Is Mrs. Garland mad
about something I said or something? she
asked.
Dont pay any attention to her, Mr.
Garland said. He touched the flower in Millies
hair. Pretty flower, he said.
My boy friend gave it to me, Millie said.
Got a boy friend? Mr. Garland said.
Does he take you out and show you a good
time?
Millie giggled. He sure does, she said.
Where does he take you? Mr. Garland
asked. Ever take you to this place downtown,
this club they call The Blue Lantern?
Ive been there, Millie said.
Mr. Garland got up and walked across the
room to get a cigarette and, as an
afterthought, offered one to Millie.
She coming back? Millie asked, her
hand out.
Mrs. Garland? Not for a minute or two,
probably. Millie took the cigarette and Mr.
Garland lit it for her.
She doesnt like me, Millie said, leaning
back.
I shouldnt think so, Mr. Garland said
But Virginias a swell kid, Millie said. Mr.
Garland laughed, and Millie looked up at him.
What did I say? she asked.

Virginia came into the doorway and

stopped for a minute. Millie, she said, and
Millie juggled Mr. Garlands hand insistently to
make him take her cigarette Millie, Virginia
said, Mother wants to know if we will run
down and get her a couple of things at the
store. Want to go?
Millie hesitated, and Mrs. Garland came
into the doorway behind Virginia. Charles,
she said, I told Virginia that if she and Millie
went down to the store for me like good
children youd give them each a dime.
Well get a soda, Virginia said.
After all that ice cream? Mrs. Garland
asked tolerantly. Youd like to have a dime,
wouldnt you, Millie?
Millie hesitated. Come on, Millie,
Virginia said impatiently. Daddy, give us a
dime.
Mr. Garland looked at his wife, and
reached into his pocket and took out a quarter.
Here, he said.
Virginia came over and took the quarter
and then grabbed Millies arm and started her
toward the door.
Mrs. Garland sat down and picked up her
sewing again. Charles, she said, dont you
think the children are having too much ice
cream?
[1943]