Volume 25, Number 3 • May & June 2010 • A publication of the Women’s Community Center of San Luis Obispo

County • Cover: “Botanica,” encaustic mono print by Anne Stahl

2 Women’s Press Women’s Press May & June 2010

Courtney’s Quill And so far, so good. Every night, I write people do not get paid a cent, and written if it weren’t for them. This issue,
something that I am thankful for. As of yet they continue to submit articles, Ashley Kircher has taken over for Ben
today, I have written 45 posts. It’s been easy wisdom, and time. Some of our Lawless. Our dear and beloved Ben has
If you remember last issue, I made the state- at times to find something to be grateful writers have been submitting articles found himself at a rather busy time in
ment that I was going to start a gratitude for, and incredibly difficult on other occa- for years now, all in the hopes of his life: recently married and a new and
journal on my birthday. Well, the week sions. One thing I’ve noticed over these changing lives. They will surely be awesome job have left him little time to
before my birthday, I bought a new journal. thankful days: my mood is improving and paid by the multitudes in karma. commit fully to Women’s Press, so he’s
It sat on my desk awaiting my writings. I’m noticing little things in my life that have taken a leave of absence. He is sorely
However, a day or two before my birthday, I gone unnoticed for far too long. • I am thankful to the Women’s Community missed. The only thing that makes his
looked at my new journal and then I looked Center for continually supporting our small departure so much more manageable is
at all the other journals I’ve started. I said to And so I am going to extend my gratitude press. In the past few months they have been Ashley. Ashley has taken over with new
myself: Who am I kidding? I’m not going to from blogging about my daily activities to particularly helpful to me as they have taken ideas and an abundant knowledge base.
write in this journal every day. that of Women’s Press: over all the aspects of managing Women’s I am thankful to have her on board.
Press that tend to bog me down: paying
This realization made me angry; I really, • I am thankful that women in this com- bills, finding ad reps, and overall reaching • I am, finally, thankful for all you who read
really wanted to start being more conscious munity have a forum to voice their out to the community when I am unable and cherish Women’s Press. We certainly
of all the good in my life. So I took a bold opinions and observations. The women to. Having a full-time job and two kids plus hope we are making a positive difference
step. I started a blog. I devoted myself to who began Women’s Press 25 years ago managing Women’s Press was wearing me on your lives. Keep reading and inspiring
blogging every day, no matter what, one certainly extended their wisdom to gen- down a bit. They stepped up to the plate to us to continue to serve you.
thing—hopefully more—that I was thankful
for during the day. Deciding on writing a
public blog made me feel more committed.
erations of readers who have followed.

• I am thankful for all our writers, con-

help me out, and I am forever grateful for that!

• I am thankful for our designers. This

Courtney Brogno
tributors, and volunteers. These fine paper would be coming to you hand-

Women’s Press • Voices, views and visions of the women of San Luis Obispo County, California • 6000 free copies distributed in
SLO County • Subscriptions are available Cover Artist Anne Stahl
Anne Stahl was born in Germany in 1968,
Staff • Managing Editor / Courtney Brogno / womenspress.slo@gmail.com • Layout & Design / Ashley Kircher & but spent the forming years of her life
Benjamin Lawless • Advertising Team / Rene Sante & Benjamin Lawless / renesophia@yahoo.com • Website in Dublin, Ireland. She has represented
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many occasions, one of which was in a
Contributors • Sonia Paz Baron-Vine • MaryAine Curtis • Inglis Carre-Dellard • Ruth Cherry • Jeanie Greensfelder • Laura meeting with former US president Bill
Grace • Judythe Guarnera • Hilda Heifetz • Lisa Pimental Johnson • Lisa Jouet • Angie King • Heather Mendel • Clinton. Today Stahl lives and works in
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and collected throughout the US and
Volunteers • Berta Parrish • Jane Hill • Judith Bernstein • June Beck • Kathleen Deragon • MaryAine Curtis • Monica Europe. Stahl’s work will be on show at
Rosecrans • Shairee Collins • Shantel Beckers • Suzanne Delinger • Renee Sante the Steynberg Gallery in San Luis Obispo
in the fall, along with new work by Lorna
Submissions Welcome Articles, essays, opinion pieces, letters, artwork, poetry wanted & appreciated. The Women’s Press reserves the Teixeira.
right to edit all submissions for content, clarity & length. Contact womenspress.slo@gmail.com or call 805-544-
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Women’s Community Center does not necessarily endorse products or services advertised in the Women’s Press. E-mail: don@annestahl.com

WCC The Women’s Community Center of San Luis Obispo County, founded in 1974, under the name Women’s Resource “A sought-after artist on both sides of the
Center, exists • to educate, enlighten, and empower women and their families in San Luis Obispo County by Atlantic, Stahl’s dedication to her art, and
helping them seek new ways to express and develop themselves • to be a center for the repository and exchange of
to the natural world it springs from, is
information of interest and concern to women through workshops, seminars, classes and other outlets; • to facili-
reflected in her painstaking technique,
tate communication with other women’s resources both locally and nationally. WCC produces the Women’s Press in
her subtle palette and her goal to inspire
furtherance of these goals. us to see Nature in a new light. As other
critics have said. Her paintings really grow
Advertising Rates Women’s Community Center of San Luis Obispo County • A 501(c)3 not-for-profit public corporation • on you.”—Neil Collins, Irish Art Review
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Women’s Press May & June 2010 Body & Soul 3

Rest in the Emptiness

By June Beck “Why do you ask,” I could have asked. Some call that giving the other person the
“’Cause I’m going to wear my Chocos, too,” benefit of the doubt but that often comes
I thought it was me he referred to, me the he might have answered. after a reaction and attempts to erase or
reason for the look on his face, me like mitigate it. Resting means noticing the
almond butter spread thick over the whole An empty space existed between what he empty space before it’s filled and that
lot. My husband ends up so covered in me said and my reaction, a space full of possi- requires practice. Most of us aren’t aware
he has to leave the room, take a shower. bilities. I’m the one who filled it with me. the spaces even exist. We’ve been mindlessly
filling them for so long, we don’t even know
Limit the knee-jerk reactions and notice the Easy to practice on the cushion and in what to look for.
empty spaces. nature—Ah, those mindful walks—but the
real challenge? Relationships. Slow down and feel that compulsion to self-
It’s easy to notice them while meditating express. When noticing happens, squeeze a
—those gaps between thoughts (“My foot’s I used to think loving myself meant others breath into that empty space. That’s a start.
asleep”) and action (wiggling the toes). needed to accept whatever I needed to say
or do—as long as I didn’t abuse anybody, of At first the empty spaces inspire fear and
However. course. Intimacy, the in-to-me-see definition anxiety—so easy to fill those spaces with
so popular with self-help culture in the 90s, fear, worry thoughts, and fidgeting. Over
A driver cuts me off. Am I calm as if observ- validates American cultural propensity to time discover the pleasure of relaxing in the
ing a storm cloud? A co-worker insults me. value the individual and, therefore, the indi- emptiness: Joy emanates from the wellspring
Do I relax as if the sun sets before me? A vidual’s right to self-express. All I have to do, of compassion, equanimity, generosity, and
loved one snaps at me. Am I curious, as I then, is let my husband “see” me. loving-kindness.
would be at the spicy scent of a Jeffrey Pine?
But what if he doesn’t like what he “sees?”
“Are you going to wear those shoes?” my Do we self-express ourselves into a fight?
husband asks, staring at my Chocos. What happens to our right to self-expression
if we don’t? June Beck teaches English and writes
I don’t see any spaces. I know he thinks my on the Central Coast of California.
shoes look wrong even though curiosity As it turns out it, intimacy has more to do
would be more apt to inspire awareness. with the ability to rest in the empty spaces. Photo by Aschwin Prein

Evolutionary Consciousness
By Heather Mendel
Does evolution change consciousness or
does consciousness change evolution? Like
any spiritual conundrum, the answer to the
dilemma is— yes!
Our inner and outer realities mirror each
other as part and parcel of one single
process. In the midst of the radical trans-
formation that is the present moment, it is
fascinating to see the reflection of inner and
outer worlds. We have at least two alterna-
tives ways of responding to change. If our
inner reality is based on fear, we step back
and try to hold fast to the past that, like soft
dry sand, is slipping through our fingers. We
want to retain the known and familiar. The
‘tea-party’ movement is an excellent example
of this phenomenon. If, on the other hand,
we are courageous, optimistic and believe
in a positive future, we are willing to take
a chance and leap into the unknown, with
faith that all will be well as a new reality
is unfolding.  tive nature of the power play that is part of
Life is mysterious and full of surprises.
During the height of the apartheid years
in South Africa, it was accepted that when
the change would come, a bloody revolution
was inevitable. A futurist I knew predicted
that ‘as went South Africa, so would go the
world.’ Miraculously it seems, the change
actually came peacefully. Nelson Mandela
was the right man for the moment, and his
efforts were strengthened by the efforts of
some 10,000 individuals who helped forge
a new culture based on the principles of
conflict resolution. Unseen and unknown to
most, they worked their magic and the results
are incredible. If that futurist was correct,
it is auspicious for the world community.
In American public life, transforma-
tive change is happening too, despite the
apparent polarized divisions. Conflict res-
olution offers an alternative and new way
of finding common ground in areas of
dispute. In the personal realm, mediation is
becoming a valid alternative to the destruc-
divorce. Publicly, the present Obama admin-
istration is demonstrating that attempting
to reach consensus is a worthy goal, despite
some who attempt to thwart the process.
New ways of debate and decision reaching
are possible. The ongoing specious debate
by pro-choice and anti-choice proponents
is being reframed. Just as no one is ‘anti-
life,’ neither is anyone ‘pro-abortion.’ The
issue is about a woman’s right to determine
her future and that of her family. A way to
bring opposing sides together is to look at
what values they share—in this case, neither
group wants any unintended pregnancies
and so they can come together to focus
attention and efforts on pregnancy preven-
tion or adoption advocacy.
Don Beck’s teaching on spiral dynamics is
a wonderful basis to start seeing how we
function in society. He shows how as indi-
viduals and communities we evolve, initially
aware only of our basic needs for survival,
and then open to the developmental stages
of awareness of the magical, followed by an
egocentric world view. As we mature we pass
from an authoritarian model, to become to
community builders, who acknowledge that
responsibility is essential to corresponded
with rights we claim, and ultimately hope to
realize oneness, wholeness and cooperation.
We are all at different point on the journey,
individually and communally, and when
hoping to assist others, can respectfully find
way to understand what they need in order
to find ways to work together to bring about
peaceful change.
With a rapidly changing reality influenced
by climate, technology, and access to infor-
mation, natural evolution offers us the
opportunity to awaken to the multilayered
nature of reality and in so doing, assist the
evolution our own consciousness, finding
answers to the perennial questions of the
spiritual seeker: who am, why and I here,
and where am I going?
http://www.dancinginthefootstepsofeve.com
4 Body & Soul Women’s Press May & June 2010

Nurturing Time for Yourself

By Jeannie Greensfelder While I enjoy time in nature, John
O’Donohue, the Irish mystic, recommends
On Mondays at noon I treat myself to time solitude to explore our inner wilderness and
at Sweet Springs Preserve in Los Osos. this can be done anywhere. We have won-
derful internal landscapes to explore. He
Last week a quail in mating plumage preened says, “We are all such strange worlds. We
so I could take his picture and a single red- are more than human. Each individual is
breasted merganser gorged himself in the an opening where the eternal is breaking
pond. Tall eucalyptus trees swayed in the through, a portal where things go out and
wind, adding to the haven for my spirit. come in.”
At the bay overlook, several snowy egrets
shared lunch-time with me and I wrote a Our culture discourages reflection and
poem about them. setting personal time on our calendars,
but a date with yourself, makes it happen.
With camera and pen as companions I claim Whether your personal experience is sitting
time to connect with myself. In The Artist’s quietly in a room or in a garden, taking a
Way, Julia Cameron encourages weekly walk in your neighborhood or at the ocean,
“dates” alone to spark creativity. My outings meet yourself for self-renewal, self-discover-
feel like keeping a promise to my child-self: ies, and self-satisfaction.
to take her out to play, to go at her speed
of noticing and observing rather than my
normal rush.
Photo by Terri Heisele

The Right to Choose in Life and Death

By MaryAine Curtis
The last stop on life’s journey is a topic that
isn’t discussed much in our society. Dying is an
unspoken part of life, and as I grow older, it is
becoming a more frequent event. I am learning
more about dying and have been at the bedside
as Death came to call, helping in-laws and my
own parents pass over. I joined the Twilight
Brigade Hospice for Veterans training to learn
more. Life and death are sacred and beautiful.
Not understanding dying feeds fear of it.
Do you ever wonder where we go when we die?
I do. The options offered to me as I grew up
seemed horrible, neutral, or heavenly with white
robes, harp music, and sitting on clouds.
with them when they die. It may cycle over and enables me to accept death as a normal part to preserve our freedoms, send an extra loving
over, making them unable to move to another of life allowing the soul to go home. It offers intention that they find the light and that their
level in the afterlife. me a choice that resonates more with my soul may know peace. They chose a hard job
spirit. Dannion talks about the life review. He and deserve respect and honor for their bravery
I recently read a book called People Who Don’t said that we experience what we did to others and sacrifice. Too many died for our countries
Know They’re Dead. A therapist found a way to and feel what they felt when we did it. If my “sins” of greed and control over others. Many
communicate with dead people through pos- life is continued in my death, then that pos- of the living saw death often and they have
sessing live people’s bodies. He helped the dead sibility is enough to influence me to be more struggled making peace with what they lived
people realize they were dead and choose to thoughtful in my words and actions toward through in the military.
go to the light with their loved ones that were others and myself.
already there. The live client felt instantly better. My father was a corpsman and nurse for twenty
I think we need to talk more openly about birth years in the Navy. He was patriotic, conserva-
If we don’t talk about what happens when we die and death. Spiritual Psychology addresses our tive, fair, religious, and non-violent. He was
how will we know what to do? This book says soul’s journey in a way that makes life experi- against war even though he was doing his
that when we get to the next level and still see ences more understandable. It helps explain the part to secure peace for our country. My older
our body, we are in another dimension and don’t cause and effect of our actions and can help a brothers lived all over the country on or near the
realize we are dead. They may become ghosts, person make beneficial insights and experience base and worried when he was overseas. It’s a
frustrated that they can’t open doors any more. a more rewarding life. difficult life in many ways.

What if “heaven” is exactly what we make it The study of near death experiences has a I encourage you to consider areas in your life Consciously send thanks and appreciation to
up to be? If that’s possible I’d like trees, warm common theme that people go to the light and that could be more fulfilling. Take the risk to military families, for they live with the fear of
springs, books, and magic. I’m an optimist there are familiar people or angels greeting the reach out to someone and patch up any dis- war and death daily. Most veterans that I know
and expect good things to happen. If I die person passing over. The NDE person gets sent agreements, rekindle your dreams, and let go of want peace more than anything. I intend to do
feeling good, then I may land in the oasis. If back, to complete a purpose here. Dannion situations that rob your happiness. If what we my part. Will you remember Memorial Day is
I die suddenly while angry, upset or in fear, it Brinkley was the first to reveal his story of a live here is a blueprint for what happens when about the freedom to choose how you believe?
would be very different. I may get stuck in that near death (he died 3 times) and he has helped we die, then make this the best it can be. Find
unpleasant space for a while. the world understand more about death with the way to have more peace and less stress in
Dr. Raymond Moody studies of him. your life so we can have it globally. MaryAine Curtis MRET Spiritual
Warriors, our military, first responders, all give Psychology Facilitator
their life for us. Sadly they may take memories A cord has been struck within me to understand This Memorial Day when you remember the www.return2joy.com
of their tragedies and Post Traumatic Stress more about what happens. It removes fear and men, women, and children that died helping
Women’s Press May & June 2010 Body & Soul 5

Li v i ng T he Mid-life…
By Ginny Conrow

She wears a straightjacket,

quite neatly hidden under an acceptable

Spirit
facade.

She wears a straightjacket,

a perfect fit: snuggly and comfy from
years of wear.

She wears a straightjacket.

The straps are labeled: control, fear,
shame,
Photo by Margan Zajdowicz criticism, unmet expectations, guilt.

By Laura Hyde Spirit and refers to a powerful way to resolve that you notice around you. She wears a straightjacket,
any problem, accomplish any goal, and to • Prosperity – Bless all the signs of so very neatly hidden under a perfectly
As I write this article, I am settling back achieve any state of mind that you desire. prosperity in your environment, controlled, always acceptable facade.
into my daily routine after having spent including all the money you have and
ten relaxing days on the exquisitely beau- It doesn’t require living in, or even visiting what it can do as you circulate it. No one knows...no one ever guesses...and
tiful island of Maui. Even amidst the Hawaii to capture the essence of mana. • Success – Bless all signs of achieve- she would never admit...beneath her
business — and some resistance — of return- There are different ways to tune into this ment and completion and all signs of facade,
ing to my regular routine, I am grateful for power and one way is to bless everyone forward movement or persistence. all she wants to do is...
the spirit of “aloha” that still lingers within and everything that represents what you • Inner Strength – Bless all signs of
me. “Aloha” means much more than a truly want. And in the Aloha Spirit, to inner strength in people and animals; dance...create...and S O A R........!
common greeting and expression of farewell. bless something means to give recognition all signs of stability (like mountains
The idea of aloha is so important in Hawaii to a positive quality or condition with the and tall trees).
that the “Aloha Spirit” is part of State law. intent that what you recognize will increase • Love and Friendship – Bless all signs
The statute reads in part: or come into manifestation. This kind of of caring and nurturing, compassion Ginny Conrow has worked in healthcare for
intentional blessing is effective in changing and support; all harmonious rela- over 30 years. She empathizes with the “mid-
“‘Aloha Spirit’ is the coordination of mind your life for three reasons: tionships in nature; everything that lifers” who are caretaking, working and trying
and heart within each person. It brings is connected to or gently touching to understand life.
each person to the self. Each person must The positive focus of your mind ignites the something else; all signs of coopera-
think and emote good feelings to others. In positive, creative force of the Divine Power tion, and all signs of laughter and fun.
the contemplation and presence of the life of the Universe; • Inner Peace – Bless all signs of qui-
force, ‘Aloha,’ the following definition may etness, calmness, tranquility, and
be used: It moves your own energy outward, allowing serenity (such as quiet water or still
more of the Divine Power to flow through air); all distant views (horizons,
Akahai, kindness to be expressed you; stars, the moon); all signs of beauty
with tenderness; of sight, sound or touch; clear colors
Lokahi, unity, to be expressed When you bless for the benefit of others and shapes; the details of natural or
with harmony; instead of directly for yourself, you tend to made objects.
Oluolu, agreeable, to be expressed bypass the subconscious fears about what • Spiritual Growth – Bless all signs of
with pleasantness; you want for yourself. What is so beautiful growth, development and change in
Haahaa, humility, to be expressed about this process is that the blessing you do nature; the transitions of dawn and
with modesty; for others helps them as well as you. twilight; the movement of sun, moon,
Ahonui, patience, to be expressed planets and stars; the flight of birds in
with perseverance.” Here are some of the important life-force the sky; and the movement of wind
qualities that the Hawaiian culture blesses: and sea.
Notice your life; are you experiencing the
spirit of Aloha? • Health – Bless healthy people, animals, During these emotionally, financially and
nature, and everything that expresses spiritually challenging times, may you experi-
Living the Aloha Spirit isn’t some spiri- abundant energy. ence the Aloha Spirit in every area of your
tual gimmick, some airy-fairy concept; it’s • Happiness – Bless all that is good, life.
a way of living life so fully, so powerfully, or the good that is in all people and
that you are in tune with the Divine Power all things; all the signs of happiness Mahalo and Namaste.
that the Hawaiians call “mana.” Accessing that you see, hear or feel in people or Photo by Ove Tøpfer
mana is an essential aspect of the Aloha animals; and all potentials for happiness
6 Body & Soul
A Women’s Perspective on the Spiritual Journey
By Barbara Atkinson
In many spiritual treatises, mostly written
by men, the apex of the spiritual journey
is being of service, i.e., giving. Although I
don’t deny the value of giving service, I’d
like to suggest the following.
In general, men approach their spiri-
tual journey from a different perspective
than women. Men come from an egocen-
tric standpoint—their journey of expansion
moves them to include the needs of others.
Visually you could see this as an inverted
triangle (V) – the point on the bottom signi-
fying the ego as it expands upward/outward
to be inclusive.
Women, on the other hand, are already
inclusive as mothers, the volunteer mainstay
for non-profits, and in numerous other
capacities. They are the universal givers. This
giving of ourselves is, unfortunately, given
little more than lip service in terms of our
value to society (otherwise universal child-
care and equal rights with equal pay and
so on would be a given). It is also why the
feminine aspect of God (usually depicted as
the giving earth mother, pregnant with new
life) struggles for recognition. For most of
us in western society, being a woman means
having to struggle with being undervalued,
even by ourselves as we unconsciously incul-
cate societal norms.
Therefore our spiritual journey is more like
the basic triangle: we’re learning to channel
our “giving to others” (the expansive bottom
of the triangle) into giving ourselves value
through full appreciation and acceptance
(the apex of the triangle). Try this on for size:
With women in particular, though not
exclusively, an epidemic of low self-esteem
and lack of worthiness festers within. I’m
not talking about success and strength.
We may be both successful and strong, a
mainstream conformist or non-conform-
ist, perceived with a solid, if vulnerable,
strength. Nevertheless, lurking beneath
this “together,” maybe even happy-go-
lucky exterior is often the open wound of
insecurity: I am not enough – too this and
too that. This unhealed wound, out of fear
of not being accepted and loved, too often
tries to keep others happy by conforming
and responding to what they want — an
aberration of the “good mother” ideal of
femininity. It remains unhealed by the
inwardly turned anger of a child whose
needs were not met, causing permeable,
or for some, non-existent boundaries that
extend into adulthood. Unaware of how to
express this seemingly inappropriate anger,
unconsciously it is contained within and
festers as a deep, inner sadness of which
we may or may not be aware. This sadness
is also archetypal because victimization is
based on the historical fear that we will
be burned, staked, stoned, or otherwise
retaliated against (still occurring in some
places) and because the feminine prin-
ciple in our world cultures has been
repressed for centuries. It’s been pro-
jected onto females as being “less than,”
with a distorted and heightened respon-
sibility for the feelings and actions of
others and what they want, and feeling
victimized because we’re told it’s “our
fault.” We have taken this distortion in
and made it our own, generation after
generation. As a result, we have learned not
to trust ourselves.*
This sad anger is not a raging storm you need
to unleash to heal (although it’s the fear that
you would do so and be overwhelmed that
keeps it hidden in the unconscious). Yet it
can and often projects itself onto judgment
and victim-hood, never owning its source
within. We may do various things to keep
this knowledge hidden, but it hungers to be
acknowledged and embraced.
Ego resides in time and has a vested interest
in keeping this the status quo. Its incessant
thinking of past and future claim tyranny
over the soul utilizing a variety of tools to
keep us in the dark: guilt, fear, inadequacy,
imperfection, judgment, false pride and
niceties, and a god of retribution to name a
few. It fuels the thoughts that give voice to
the inner “demons of negativity,” nagging at
us to give in to powerlessness (the mainstay
of sad anger). So, when you are committed to
awakening Spirit within, a struggle may ensue.
Afraid it will lose out if it lets go, ego strug-
gles to hold onto its supremacy; its old habits
and fears may intensify now. Fearful ego
is trying to keep us unaware of the creative
power within: our Higher Self and its unlim-
ited potential. Power, ego is happy to remind
us, is often associated with its misuse, hierar-
chy, retaliation, lack of femininity, and being
clothed in the anger of Machiavellian-like
manipulation. But, rather than a negative
force projected outward, sad anger can be
converted to the authentic power of positive
feminine energy and used inwardly to fuel
and strengthen our love of Self. This happens
as we redirect our energy to challenge ego
by refusing to sacrifice ourselves to its nagging
voices, recriminating sadness, and failure to
meet our needs. By continually identifying
with the love and forgiveness of the com-
Women’s Press May & June 2010
passionate, divine feminine rather than ego,
this nurturing mother within helps us learn
to accept ourselves, to trust our inner voice
and honor our needs, thereby ending ego’s
tyranny, and the reflexive emotional reactions
that served us in the past. The paradox is that
to access authentic power, we must surren-
der seeming power --the power of ego’s will;
this is the sacrifice we are asked to make. It
is rarely easy and always an act of humility.
With the help of redemptive grace, we allow
our true Self (inner Christ, Buddha, Goddess,
etc.) residing in the present moment, to
emerge then unite with the outer Divine and
lead. We identify with it rather than with ego.
“Ego as an instrument of spirit rather than
spirit as a tool of ego.” (Michael Washburn)
This inner struggle can go on for a number of
years coming closer and closer to the surface
(service) of consciousness. Our job is to trust
Life and ourselves, and stay on the path of
awareness heeding the signs and signals that
alert us when we stray off course. We are
guided again and again to the situations we
need to resurrect the authentic power and love
of the repressed feminine. As we give voice to
her nurturing love, support, and trust, she
subdues and balances our overabundant mas-
culine, and we are held in a cocoon of light
Then these two poles of the psyche, mascu-
line and feminine, can integrate as one, reside
in present moment awareness, and awaken
the full potential of Self to Being: our indi-
vidual, creative expression of All There Is.
* The same can be said for boys and men with
an active feminine who, if they express it, can
be considered soft or weak; often this weakness
must be beaten down and drummed or bullied
out for cultural and family acceptance.
Women’s Press May & June 2010
Oneness
By Ruth Cherry, PhD
Most of the inmates at the state penitentiary
where I work were drug addicts—heroin,
marijuana, cocaine, LSD, whatever they
could get. They speak about chasing their
first high, always remembering a more
intense experience than they’ve had since
and not being able to recreate it. They
didn’t abandon the chase until incarcera-
tion forced the end.
In the meditation groups I ask if our medi-
tations are similar in any way to their drug
highs. The long time meditators say, “Yes,
but without coming down.” Longing for
the experience of oneness may be the soul
of drug addiction. And isn’t that the core
human drive? We seek love, friendship, or
success but these diversions so often leave
us dissatisfied. We achieve what we say we
want and within minutes we want some-
thing more. Why?
My suspicion is that on a cellular level we
know we are missing something we need
to be whole. On an intellectual level we
can’t identify what that is but we substi-
tute “definable” solutions. We long for peace
inside but we focus on making money. That’s
something we can control. Who can force
peace? We want happiness which we can’t
make happen on cue so we enjoy chocolate
which we can buy any time. The inmates
used drugs. What’s the difference? Control
of something finite substitutes for oneness
with the Infinite. For a minute.
I don’t know of one person who would
say that what s/he seeks in life more than
anything else is oneness with God but I
suspect that that is the human condition.
We somehow know that there is more to
existence than meets the eye. We can’t place
it so we try to structure an experience that
we can define. We must redefine God in
limited terms so our minds can be involved
in the act. Better to use our minds than to
allow unlimited vulnerability.
But “allowing” and “vulnerability” are
what knowing God is about. We imprison
God when we say, “This (read: money, love,
power) will make me happy.” When we try
to define God, we limit God. When we want
to assume an overlay of happiness without
doing our undercover work, we shy away
from God. We hate not being in control and
when we are in control, we imprison God.
We want God not to threaten us. We want
Body & Soul 7
God to fit into our lives neatly. We want
God to keep us comfortable. The Old Brain Can Still Learn New Tricks
When comfort is necessary, God gets
squeezed out. Unlimited power cannot be
controlled or fit into our little boxes and
it doesn’t come on schedule on Sunday
morning. We don’t dictate terms to God
about what we will accept or won’t. We say,
“Your will be done” and we watch. When we
surrender our lives, we don’t know what will
happen. And if you need to be in control,
that’s not a “reasonable” choice.
So, if we accept the premise that experienc-
ing oneness with God is the basic human
longing and if we acknowledge that losing Photo by Artem Chernyshevych
our boundaries terrifies us humans, then
we find ourselves in a pickle of gigantic By Inglis Carre’-Dellard a group of students who were given some
proportions. For a few years or decades we quick instruction in how to meditate. Both
look for God under the street light, so to We have been told that advancing years groups performed a “nonreferential compas-
speak. We want God in small doses, easily are a time of ever fuzzier thinking and sion” meditation in which they concentrated
digested. We’re satisfied with our God-in- brain deterioration over which we have on feeling infinite generosity and love for
a-box. And that’s the end of the story for no control. On the contrary, neuroscien- all living beings, while being connected
many folks. tists have discovered that even though the to an EEG machine. The EEG readouts
brain’s decreasing number of brain cells showed an increase in gamma brain waves
Some of us won’t let go of the search that causes it to lose between five and ten percent for all meditators. The monks experienced
easily, however, and by mid-life we won’t of its weight by the time we are ninety, the thirty times higher gamma output than the
engage in illegal activity or reckless risk- brain can build more connections that help students. A functional MRI showed that the
taking. What are we to do? We need it to work better as it ages, and even grow brains of all the meditators showed more
to experience our oneness with God new cells in certain areas. It turns out that activity in the brain area responsible for
because without that we’re lost. Nothing aging can give us a better ability to replace positive emotion, and less in the area that
else holds meaning. negative emotions with positive ones, the distinguished between self and others. The
resulting emotional stability forming the brain areas dealing with maternal love and
The vastness of our inner world and the basis of wisdom. This concept of “neuroplas- empathy reacted much more strongly in the
pervasiveness of our life experience when ticity” not only suggests that our brains can monks’ brains, where the happiness brain
we surrender and trust in meditation and grow and change throughout life, but also area totally overrode the brain area dealing
then throughout the day lead us to experi- suggests that we can cause positive changes with negative feelings. The brains of the
ence God minute by minute. And then we in our brain structure with our thoughts. students didn’t show this reaction.
don’t want to stop. Even when it’s scary or
unpleasant or inconvenient. And I think A neuroscientist from Harvard, Alvaro It appears that training the mind can cause
that’s what the drug addicted inmates Pascual-Leone, taught a group of non- brain changes that predispose us to more
sought in their own unsavory way. They musician volunteers a simple piano exercise positive feelings such as empathy, compas-
are just being humans. On some level they that they practiced in the lab two hours a sion, and love. Isn’t it good to know that we
knew there is more. They detoured with day for five days. A week later, brain scans can teach ourselves to be happy?
drugs but find some peace in meditation. were performed and showed that the part of
They are acting like human beings, just like the brain that controlled finger movements
the rest of us. increased in area. Volunteers that practiced
the finger exercises in their minds alone had Inglis Carre’-Dellard, M.F.A. is a Los
the same result. We can infer from these Osos artist and teacher whose teaching style
findings that our thoughts can affect our emphasizes individuality and self expression
Ruth Cherry, PhD, is a clinical psychologist mental and physical health more than previ- in a nurturing environment. For informa-
in private practice in San Luis Obispo, CA. ously thought. tion on creativity classes, individual creativity
Her specialty is midlife when psychological and counseling, or to receive her creativity news-
spiritual dynamics merge. The power of the What happens when we consciously control letter, contact her at ingartist@yahoo.com or
unconscious at midlife to heal and to trans- our thoughts and always steer them in a 805.534.9693.
form is tapped in meditation. Besides writing positive direction? Richard Davidson, of
about meditation, Ruth leads guided medi- the University of Wisconsin, conducted a For more information regarding the latest sci-
tation groups weekly. Her books and CD are study in which he compared the brains of entific brain discoveries and their relationship
available at midlifepsychology.com. eight Buddhist Monks who were very expe- to creativity, read ‘Embracing the Wide Sky,’
rienced with meditation, with the brains of by Daniel Tammet.
 8 4251 S. Higuera Street, Suite 800, San Luis Obispo, CA 93401 | 805 544-9313
Women’s Convergence
By Angie King
After my answer to the last issue’s
question of what book has changed your
life, about Mary Daly, I was moved to
read her again. I was drawn to her auto-
biography, although she admits that’s
a loosely defined term for what she has
written. But it is pure Mary Daly and I
loved it. It’s called Outercourse. There’s a
concept she describes in it, which threads
through the whole book, which also
struck me, coming as it did in my own
Re-membering (her orthography). I’m
going to try to explain what I mean. Bear
with me.
About a year ago, the local chapter of
NOW was discussing plans for Women’s
Equality Day, and wanted to put on a
party for all the county’s women’s groups,
a convening if you will. Unfortunately,
timing was too short and we were short-
handed, so we didn’t do it, but the idea
persisted.
Then CodePink hosted a Pacific
Convergence of their chapters, in
September; their use of the term, conver-
gence, seemed to be what we had in mind.
The next “coincidence” was that the
San Luis Obispo County Community
Foundation’s Women’s Legacy Fund ini-
tiated a survey on the needs of women
in the community, with the results
scheduled to be released at their annual
luncheon this coming September. That
report could be the starting point of
the Convergence of women’s groups to
discuss how we can meet the needs iden-
tified in that report.
Add to that mix, that the Commission on
the Status of Women is joining WCC this
year to produce the Day with Creative
Women in August.
The combination of all this collabo-
ration and gathering together creates
not just synergy (the combined
effort being greater than parts)
Women’s Community Center
by a convergence of all the various groups Paths, they hurl us on an Intergalactic
and agencies in SLO County that exist Voyage.”
but Gynergy – a term Mary Daly attri- to improve women’s lives. Think of the
butes to her fellow philosopher, Emily energy in the room! In other words, I think, one has an “aha
Culpepper - the female energy which moment” and the paradigm shifts, so
both comprehends and creates who we From Outercourse, page 4: “The Spiraling to speak, and so do one’s attitude and
are: woman-identified be-ing. Voyage of Outercourse is comprised of behavior, hopefully in a more beneficial,
Metapolitical Moments, which make centered way, dare I say, Metapatriarchal
Of course we all see what we want to up Spiral galaxies. These are Moments/ way (Mary Daly does). Is this one?
see, and I want to see that there is this Movements of participation in Be-ing Wouldn’t you want to be part of a
connection, and that the Women’s which carry Voyagers beyond foreground paradigm shift in SLO County?
Convergence (that I hope will happen limitations.
toward the end of 2010) will be a Putting on such an event will take a
Spiraling Event, in Mary Daly’s terms, Moments can be viewed as windows and lot of planning. I’m still talking to the
and the Be-ginning of a better future. doors through which we leap and race SLOCCF urging them to be the lead
Or maybe it is mere coincidence that into the Background. They influence us; organizer, but even so, we all need to
these things all came about in just the they are of great consequence, for they pitch in. Will you help? Call me at WCC
way they did. Either way I am excited point us in the direction of Elemental (544-9313).
thinking about the momentum created Time/Tidal Time. Moving in Spiraling
... looking for a spiritual change?
The Circle of Spiritual Enlightenment is an interfaith community
dedicated to celebrating diversity and honoring
the spirit that connects all things.
Spiritual Leader: Laura V. Grace
Sunday Services 10:00am
Please join us for meditation at 9:30am each Sunday before the service
Sunday School Provided: Educational and Fun
1500 Lizzie St., Room J-2, Adult School, San Luis Obispo
For more info: 805.541.1963
Website: www.spiritualcircle.org
E-Mail: spiritualcircle@spiritualcircle.org
Please join us for a celebration of expanding consciousness and love.
 Women’s Community Center 805 544-9313 | PO Box 15639, San Luis Obispo, CA 93406 9
Photos from the RSVP fair. The RSVP fair had groups from all over the County. The RSVP team of 1500 volunteers work with 300 non profits in SLO County and Northern SB County.

Sonia Paz Baron-Vine Jan Potter, Angie King,Sonia Paz Baron-Vine. Sonia Paz Baron-Vine, Angie King.

Calling All (or most) Celebrating Robin’s

Here’s what WCC has been up to this Spring Used Tech Equipment Cuesta College Award!
By Angie King
There’ve been some changes on the
business end of the Women’s Press
designed to make life easier for our won-
derful volunteer editor, Courtney, so we
can keep her talent and dedication. To
help decrease her workload and prevent
burnout, the board is now responsible for
the non-editorial parts of the paper (like
the accounts), but it took a while until
some of the affected people knew where
to send bills, etc. One casualty of this
switchover was you, the subscriber, who
expected to get your paper in a timely
fashion. We apologize for the delay and
you should have this issue on time. And,
since we’re now responsible to make the
paper self-sustaining, please help us out
by considering placing an on-going ad
in the pages of the Women’s Press. You’ll
get a great way to advertise your business
or service, and you’ll also be helping us,
plus you’ll be helping a salesperson earn a
commission.
In March, Sonia and I networked with
many of SLO County’s social service
agencies, spreading the word us, distrib-
uting the Women’s Press, and recruiting
new volunteers. The occasion was the
RSVP volunteer fair.
Welcome to our new volunteers: Rebecca,
Ed, and Jacqueline! Rebecca and Ed have
become supervision monitors for our new
BETTER program, while Jacqueline joins
Debra as a courtwatcher. Both programs
are part of the Family Law Activities we
write about all the time.
In the middle of April we held a very suc-
cessful Open House, to celebrate our
move from the Goodwill Building last
June to our new offices at the San Luis
Business Center, and a good time was
had by all! Thanks to our sponsors for
this event: Von’s in Grover Beach and
the Marigold Center, Trader Joe’s in
San Luis Obispo, Dana Nelson Health
plus Pharmacy, Vina Robles Winery,
the Spirit of San Luis Restaurant, and
Core Mediation Services, The Divorce
Specialists.
And more good news, at the Open
House, more people signed up to volun-
teer!
Our next big event will be the Day with
Creative Women on August 14th. Read
more about it here and in the next issue.
If you are interested in helping us put on
the best art fair on the Central Coast,
call us!
By Robin Rinzler By Sonia Paz Baron-Vine
& Angie King
Our newest fundraiser involves collect- WCC Board of Directors
ing items that would otherwise pollute
our landfills. These items listed below We are very happy to announce that
will bring money to The Women’s our vice president Robin Rinzler 
Community Center, and will be recycled has been awarded  the “Progress for
properly or fixed and resold. Don’t throw Women Award “ by Cuesta College!!
these in the trash, call us now and see if This honor is awarded to a woman
we can turn them into much needed cash whose commitment to a particular 
for the WCC! program or issue of special rele-
vance to women has helped to improve 
• Cell phones the quality of life for women.  As
• Ink Jet Printer Cartridges an example: arts, science, health,
• Laptops & Notebooks etc.
• MP3 Players
• Digital Cameras (still & video) We celebrated Robin along with
• Radar Detectors her family and presented her with
• GPS Devices balloons and cards!
• Radar Detectors
• Kindle & Sony Book Readers She was glowing as she thanked
the public, which included other
These items can be working or not, recipients and the crème of San
damaged or not. Drop off your item Luis Obispo women’s volunteers.
or items at the Women’s Community Congratulations Robin on a well
Center, 4251 S. Higuera Street (where deserved award!
Los Osos Valley Road dead ends into
S. Higuera Street) and we can turn
that into $$ for our many projects!
Call 544-9313 if you have any questions!
Thanks for your support!
10 Motherhood Women’s Press May & June 2010

Attached Parenting Parenting Adult Children:

He Never Calls, He Never Writes
By Diane Halsted

“My son doesn’t communicate with me,”

stated a fellow hiker—as if she were the only
mother who wants more attention from her
adult child.

My son doesn’t communicate with me as

much as I like either, I told her, but when
we are together, we have fun, and when we
visit by phone, we have lively and long con-
versations. She wanted to know how old my
son is.

“He is 36.”

“Oh, no. Don’t tell me that.” Her son is 29.

We commiserated over unanswered emails,

turned-off cell phones, a dearth of letters. I
told her I had even asked for a weekly phone
Principle 6: Provide Consistent and Loving Care call for Christmas one year. It was not the
gift he chose to give. The difference between
my fellow hiker and me, however, is I have
Photo by Emily Cahal accepted less communication than I’d like
By Lisa Jouet The first guideline describes continuity of resources on this subject are listed at the end and she has not yet.
the caregiver. Ideally, parents should try to of this article. 
We all dream of having loving, attached, and encourage the same person to care for the It doesn’t hurt to ask for what you want. In
self-confident children. A child who has had child for the first two to three years, pref- Our culture does not support stay-at-home fact, I recommend it. But a mother must
their needs met on a consistent and loving erably in the child’s home. When possible, parents enough. It is difficult but could be be prepared to be turned down. She would
basis has these traits. Attachment parents choose a family member or close friend as possible to come up with stay-at-home solu- never deny a similar request from her son,
work to see this dream realized as they your child’s first caregiver. Parents and the tions and modified work schedules in order but mother love is a one-way street. Our
watch their children grow. Breastfeeding our child should take the time to get to know to be with our kids instead of using full time children do not return our unconditional
babies, sleeping with or near them, carrying the caregiver if they are not close already. child-care outside the home. Parents do find love. We can do wrong. We can also request
them on our bodies, meeting their needs as This helps ease the child’s transition between ways to reconnect when they are reunited what we won’t get.
soon as they arise, and later using the prin- the parents and caregiver. with their children who are in day care by
ciples of positive discipline are all crucial in sharing morning rituals like, snuggling in I suggested to my hiking companion that
the practice of attachment parenting.  The second guideline involves educating bed, family breakfast and nighttime rituals her son thinks he communicates. He
the caregiver about the principles of attach- like dinner, bath-time, brushing teeth and chooses the time and interval; he keeps in as
Providing consistent and loving care is a ment parenting and encouraging them to reading before bed. much touch as he wants. I recalled for her
principle most parents agree on. Many new use them with your child. For an overview the scene in Annie Hall: a split screen shows
parents follow this principle in the begin- of the principles of please visit the attach- The more attached we wish to be to our the man and woman in individual therapy.
ning of their babies’ lives by listening to ment parenting international website www. children and the more we hope our children Each is asked, “How often do you two have
their instincts. After the baby arrives, some attachmentparenting.org or see the other to be attached to us, the more quality time sex?” The man responds, “Hardly ever. Only
parents stay home with their babies and articles in this series. we need to spend together. The value of about three times a week.” The woman
some parents are able to go back to work time spent together as a family is immeasur- responds, “All the time. At least three times
with their newborns in tow. These are ideal A third guideline speaks to the number of able, it is subtle and builds over time with a a week.”
situations and obviously minimize the sep- hours the child is in non-parental care. “bank account” full of memories, laughter,
aration of baby and parent. Others find a Many parents choose, or feel they have no tears, contentment, love and attachment. My son probably thinks we communicate
caring individual or space to bring their other option other than, to use full-time frequently. He calls more often—at least
child to for a few hours a day. When our child care, a subject which is a hot button every two weeks—than he chooses because
children spend time with other caregivers, it for many parents. Current research suggests For further reading: he knows I will be unhappy if he doesn’t.
may be more difficult to make sure this bond the need to minimize the number of hours Being There: The Benefits of a He is always cheery and shares activities
and level of care is present. Attachment par- children under the age of 5 spend away from Stay-At-Home Parent by Isabelle Fox and discusses teaching with me. We chat
enting advocates address this separation their parents in order to maximize attach- The Four-Thirds Solution: Solving the for as long as two hours. I could call him
with a few guidelines. ment. Fewer hours away from parents Child-Care Crisis in America
translates into less stress for the child. Two by Dr. Stanley Greenspan Continued in Never Calls, p. 21
Women’s Press May & June 2010 Motherhood 11

Children’s Bookshelf By Lisa Pimentel Johnson

soon. Before all your trash reaches up to also discover some 350 animals that live in
the Moon!” In response, the townspeople those ecosystems too!
start recycling their paper, plastic, cans, and
even old junk like pots and pans. The art is From grass bursting through cracks in a
colorful and inventive with using a news- sidewalk, or a tuft of daisies clinging to a
paper print cut out in the art design, and crumbling brick wall, to a meadow winding
at the end of the book, there is a special along an abandoned road, nature can
Recycle, Reuse, Recharge, and Renew are section of Go Green Tips to encourage all blossom in the unlikeliest of places. In the
the new buzz words these days all over the children to become environmental superhe- book by Peter Brown, called The Curious
world. We need to teach our children to roes in their town! Garden, a curious boy named Liam discov-
take care of their world and correct their ers a small struggling garden one day in
parent’s mistakes! I found some fun, edu- Learning about ecosystems and playing a the most drab, grey city where he lives. In
cational, colorful “green” books to share maze game is part of the creative book by an abandoned railway track in the middle
and enjoy for young and old alike. Start Roxie Munro called EcoMazes, 12 Earth of the city, Liam stumbles on a sprinkle
thinking green.... Adventures. Roxie and her husband trav- of wildflowers bursting through a patch of
elled all over the world researching data mossy green weeds. Liam decides right there
Michael Recycle by Ellie Bethel and illustrated to compile in this delightful educational to become a gardener and starts to water,
by Alexandra Colombo is an engaging book that will take you to both the South prune, and care for his little garden patch.
story about a town called Abberdoo-Rimey and North Poles and places in between. Soon, the magic of water, sun, and tender
where the townspeople have turned grass, You and your child can travel along leafy loving care begin to make the garden grow
flowers, and rivers brown due to pollu- trails, Arctic ice floes, and winding water- and creep into all the crevices of the grey,
tion. A streak of green crash lands in the ways while exploring different environments drab city. The city transforms into a vibrant
town dump. It’s not a bird, nor a plane, but around the world, from a colorful coral reef green metropolis with flowers, shrubs, and
a new kind of superhero named Michael filled with sea creatures to a shady forest of trees everywhere being taken care of by
Recycle, who has a plan to save the town tall evergreen trees. Using waterways, trails, many new gardeners! Liam teaches us that
and the world. Fresh and funny, Michael or roads, take the shortest path with your we can find flowers and fields and even
Recycle exclaims to the townspeople, finger to the goal. As you journey, you will small forests growing wild in every city, you
“You’ve got to recycle. You’ve got to act just have to look for them!

Adrift on the Ocean of American Democracy nity for many years. They have a passion for process, the potential financial impact, the
women’s birth rights. importance of bonding, cesarean preven-
By Jennifer Stover as being involved in politics. It was just my tion, and postpartum depression prevention.
way of helping the women I knew have the We discussed and refined our goal, set a
Last summer I embarked on my maiden births that they wanted. Here was a chance timeline and divided the work. Researching We reached out to mothers in our com-
voyage into the turbulent waters of the dem- to do something locally and perhaps have an that day we suddenly realized that munity. Many of these busy women took
ocratic process. I had been contacted by impact nationally. Representative Capps was on the congres- the time to stop and write a letter about
the Mama Campaign, a grassroots organi- sional committee working on the health how their birth with a midwife affected
zation trying to make history. They were Intrigued but uncertain, I went to the legislation. For the first time it occurred their lives. Reading their poignant letters
lobbying for a woman’s right to birth either women of the Birth & Baby Resource to us that we might actually be able to do reminded me of why I first began champi-
in a hospital, birth center, or at home and Network and said, “I’d like to do something something that mattered. oning midwifery and out-of-hospital birth
with a doctor, certified nurse midwife or a about this. What do you think? Is this some- and gave me fresh incentive to keep forging
professional midwife. They were pushing thing we want to stand up for? Will I have Along the way more women came on
to include equal payment for all of these your backing if I lead a delegation to speak board. My intrepid crew of professionals Continued in Adrift, p. 22
options into the health care legislation. To to Lois Capps?” All the women immediately and community leaders
accomplish their goal they had launched a encouraged and supported me. also included: Miday
national effort to have women contact their Belden-Johnson, CNM;
local representatives and speak to them Buoyed by their enthusiasm, I reached into Stephanie Wilson, SLO- Clare Lowery L.Ac.
about the importance of women having our birth community for shipmates in my Child Abuse Prevention
birth choices. endeavor. Not surprisingly I was imme- Council specialist; Jessica Acupuncture & Herbal Medicine
diately joined by retired certified nurse Elliott, BBRN President; Licensed for 20 Years
As a doula and childbirth educator, I have midwife Linda Seeley; Edana Hall, licensed and Janet Murphy, Cal
been working one-on-one with women for midwife; Laurie Stern, a registered nurse Poly Child Development
Shirodhara oil treatment
many years supporting them in their birth certified in neonatal nursing; and Megan Specialist. Each one did
choices. On a community level, I had helped Bochum, former International Cesarean research that was added 805-541-6772
found the Birth & Baby Resource Network Awareness Network leader. These women to our presentation ClareLowery.com
to help inform women about their choices have been working with and for birthing packet covering issues
locally. But I never considered any of this women and their families in our commu- on safety, the licensing
12 Local Perspectives
Unsung Heroine
Donna Kean
Accepting Mystery
to Live More Fully
By Berta Parrish
Mortality. Demise. The Grim Reaper. The
Final Passage. All these are euphemisms
for a concept that most Americans avoid at
all costs. Contemplating death makes most
of us very sad and depressed. Therefore,
consider my surprise when I met Donna
Kean, former Executive Director of the
Hospice of San Luis Obispo. Sixteen years
of helping others cope with end-of-life issues
has not diminished her natural enthusiasm,
energy, and sense of humor. Her spar-
kling eyes, inquisitiveness, and contagious
laughter invite you into the joy of life rather
than into the anxiety of death, the ultimate
mystery.
In 1994 Donna arrived in Cambria from Los
Angeles as a licensed clinical social worker
with experience in the hospice field and in
social services management. Her interest in
metaphysics and philosophy drew her to a
career that nourished spiritual and soulful
awareness. She recalls that a few personal
losses helped her integrate the hospice phi-
losophy: “It really helped to know that death
is okay. Even if it isn’t anticipated, there is
way to get through it. I was sold after that
and wanted to help others see death through
a different lens.”
After working two years as a medical social
worker at Twin Cities Community Hospital,
Donna assumed the responsibilities of
Executive Director of the Hospice of SLO
County supervising eight full-time staff
members and over 100 volunteers. Hospice
of SLO County provides free in-home
assistance and companionship, grief coun-
seling, group support, crisis intervention,
and wellness education to those living with
life-threatening or terminal illness, their
families, and the bereaved. Empathic vol-
unteer support programs include in-home
respite care; a bereavement program; a
supportive music program; community
education, training and resource center; a
children’s program; and services in Spanish.
Reflecting on her 14-year tenure as Executive
Director, Donna considers program devel-
opment her most joyful moments. She was
instrumental in extending hospice volunteer
training and services to California Men’s
Colony, to the North County, to skilled
nursing facilities, and to several hospitals
where volunteers provide respite care for
fatigued family members. Moreover, she is
grateful for all the wondrous learning expe-
riences. “The families have transformed my
life. Their courage in confronting dying or
grieving is inspiring. Truly, what a gift! I’ve
had the honor of seeing people stand up
for themselves and go the course in spite of
fearing the unknown. It’s honorific in my
book!”
A few months into retirement, Donna is
enjoying the increased time to cook, to read,
to meditate, and to spend time with family
and friends. Additionally, she is beginning
to write a book, tentatively titled Mysteries
at the Threshold, that explores the extraor-
dinary experiences of ordinary people
when grieving and/or dying. She believes
that “consciousness survives. I don’t know
how that happens, but it does. Because of
hospice, I have had experiences that affirm
the continuity of spirit, of soul.”
Donna has indeed received many gifts from
the people she has served, but she has also
bestowed many gifts on them, their families,
and our community. By acknowledging and
accepting the natural life cycle that culmi-
nates in the mystery of death, she models
how to live more fully in the present. She
definitely is not among those referred to in
the following refrain of the popular song
“The Rose”:
“It’s the one who won’t be taken,
who cannot seem to give,
and the soul afraid of dyin’
that never learns to live.”
Women’s Press May & June 2010
At Seventy
By Jeanie Greensfelder
A trajectory of decades crossed like a comet,
years falling like shuffled cards,
now you see them, now you don’t.
 
Among memories, wisps of me:
hanging by my legs from a trapeze,
pounding the sofa to see germs rise,
praying at age eight to wake up twenty-four,
seeing my father in a coma before he died,
deciding to die at sixty and never grow old,
leading the Pep Club, depressed, in tears,
being eloped from college at eighteen,
imagining my daughter’s third Christmas,
waking at twenty-four, wanting to be eight,
hearing the rabbi bless my second marriage,
communing with a Luna moth in our
A-frame.
 
Moments polka dot my mind
as if I could drop into any one of them,
begin again, take seriously the words I
scoffed at
when an old woman watched me hopscotch.
She said, “Count your blessings.”
Women’s Press May & June 2010
A Garage Sale
for the Soul
By Berta Parrish
This morning my husband and I went
garage-saling, along with an estimated 1.2
million Americans. Neighbors compared a
garage sale to a party for strangers, to spring
house cleaning, and to a painful operation
removing one finger at one at a time. No
one said that having a garage sale is a spiri-
tual exercise. And, yet it can be.
How can clearing out the garage, closet, and
kitchen compare to the emptying and cleans-
ing of heart and soul? It’s all in how you
experience the various aspects of America’s
greatest Saturday morning pastime. It’s all
about having a mindful garage sale, that is,
being aware of your thoughts and emotions
during the four phases of sorting, selling,
discarding, and living anew.
When we moved, we naturally had a lot
of extra stuff. After decorating the house,
we decided on a garage sale. As a journal
keeper, I soon noticed that the sale became
a symbol for the internal dynamics of dis-
carding the unwanted and unnecessary and
embracing the desired and needed. Having
the garage sale was helping me disconnect
from the past and connect to the present.
Here’s how.
The Sorting. The first phase was sorting “Out with old and in with the new,” doesn’t
the stuff in my emotional storehouse of do justice to this process. It’s more like
artifacts. All the memorabilia, nic-knacks,
souvenirs, hobby equipment, and gifts had
to be evaluated. In desperation, I catego-
rized things into three stacks: those for our
grown children; those good enough to sell;
and those for the Goodwill. Even after this,
what about the things without a category?
Do I keep the German beer mugs from a
vacation; the Noritake china from another
era; and the paintings purchased on our
honeymoon? I soon realized that the signif-
icance of an item depended on the memory
attached to it. A highly prized gift indicates
that it was very valuable, or was given by a
much-loved person, or carried a wonderful
memory. In-between gifts were disposable.
For instance, our son’s fire truck painted
with “Happy Birthday” and our daughter’s
pet rock are truly “priceless” as the commer-
cial states.
As I was evaluating these items, I was also
sorting the attitudes and prejudices inher-
ited, collected, and stored throughout a
lifetime. It was time to consciously choose
which to keep and which to discard.
An idea, like an object, should meet the
following criteria:
• Is it highly cherished and valued
according to current standards and
tastes?
• Does it represent the best of me?
• Is it something I would be proud give to
my children and grandchildren?
• Does it suit the current lifestyle?
• Does it still serve a useful purpose?
Local Perspectives 13
“Out with meaningless and in with the This difficulty made me wonder about some
meaningful.” We kept objects connected to resentments, regrets, and habits that I have
memories, values, passions, and aspirations. been carrying around for years that were
also obsolete. Idiosyncratic ways of acting
The Selling. Now I had to decide on the and feeling that were perhaps appropri-
value of the remaining items. What did I ate twenty years ago might not be so useful
pay and would I give them up for less? I set today, just like the electric hair rollers and
prices according to similar things at other the cheese fondue pot.
garage sales. However, a few hours into
the sale, I cut the prices in half. In spite of The Living Anew. Although not usually con-
being out-bargained, the stories were worth sidered part of a garage sale, my post-garage
more than the money. Lives were touched by sale feelings were fascinating. Even if I hadn’t
sharing objects. Common interests in wood- used an item in ten years, all of a sudden, I
carvings, Indian rugs, and books brought needed it. The ceramic wine decanter would
people together. We gave a little girl inter- have looked perfect on the side table. I had to
ested in art all the art books plus a painting. learn to live without regret for the discarded
A hug was payment enough. Newlyweds things. This “letting go” of the past made a
had no decor for their apartment, so we sold space for more appropriate items and ideas to
them two mission paintings for a quarter come into my life and to lead me in different
of the marked price. Near the end, we gave directions with new purposes.
away miscellaneous goodies.
In our culture, garage sales mark signifi-
We had to let go of our once-prized objects cant transitions – we are moving, retiring,
and rejoice in the pleasure of the new owners marrying, or downsizing. If undertaken
with their bargains. Afterwards I wondered consciously, a garage sale can actually be
how many attitudes and assumptions go part of the initiatory experience to the
through this painfully slow sloughing off next phase of life, instead of merely a way
process of ever-increasing recognition that to get rid of stuff and make a few hundred
something no longer serves or fits. dollars. By paying attention to your reac-
tions before, during, and after a garage
The Discarding. What to do with the now- sale, you can transform a materialis-
proven worthless, superfluous junk that no tic undertaking into a rewarding spiritual
one wanted, even for free? It was hard to experience. So, if you want to refresh your
admit that what we once considered beau- closet and your heart, have a garage sale.
tiful or valuable was neither. It was really
hard to throw something out that we had
been storing and moving around for twenty Berta Parrish, Ed.D., writer and educator,
years. Two more piles were created: one for teaches at Cuesta College and Osher Lifelong
donating (again) and one for dumping. Learning Institute. She is the author of Wise
Woman’s Way: A Guide to Growing Older
with Purpose and Passion.
14 Local Perspectives Women’s Press May & June 2010

Signs of Life
By Kate Updike O’Connor “That swollen bud lasted so long,” I tell her. daughter of farmers and loves and trusts with perennials and the occasional annual.
“It tantalized me. I could barely wait to see the earth, if nothing else. When I was a She spent hours tending to that garden. I
“I can’t get over it,” my mother says on the it open.” young child, we lived in York, Pennsylvania have an image of her in stylish shorts bent
telephone. “All the beauty hidden in that where the winters are long. At the first hint over her work, one hand patiently weeding
bulb. You’ve got a winner.” Mom knows precisely what I mean. This is of spring, Mom would pull herself out of among the rocks, the other clutching weeds
how we connect – through the language of winter hibernation and depression to inspect already pulled. I doubt my mother knew
She refers to the showy blossoms my ama- buds and new growth. She had spent the last the yard for signs of new life. I, too, came to how much I watched her. I longed for the
ryllis has produced in the last few days. Four few weeks watching her own bulb sprout, look forward to the zealous sprouting of the kind of single-minded attention she gave her
is the most she’s ever heard of bursting from then bud, then flower. gangly forsythia bush outside the bathroom garden. Eventually, I realized that the best
the same bud. My plant has five gorgeous, window. The cold York winters nursed this I could hope for was to join her in her love
umbellate flowers with another yet to open. “Yours is finished?” I ask today. Hers had plant along, so that come spring, it burst of it.
Mom has given me an amaryllis bulb every gotten a head start and bloomed a week or forth in a fiery mass of yellow tendrils.
Christmas for as long as I can remember. She two before mine. Completely untamed, the bush served as Today my mother reminds me to rotate my
continues to send them to me even though I a colorful focal point in our springtime amaryllis so the long stem will continue to
live in California now and can enjoy flow- “Yes, sadly,” Mom says. She answers from backyard landscape. And together with the stand upright.
ering outdoor plants all year. She gives her home in New Jersey where her yard is tender pokes of the narcissus and daffodils,
herself one, too, to ease her through the cold blanketed with a foot of freshly fallen snow. it ushered in the warmer weather. “And be sure to take a picture of it for me,
eastern winter. As the bulbs start to sprout “But now I have a calla lily to watch. It’s will you?” she asks.
on our kitchen tables, they become the main really fascinating to observe the growth.” Mom did all the landscaping herself. A
topic of interest in our long-distance conver- small, nondescript hill that sloped to a gentle I promise that I will.
sations. I have always known this about my mother, rise about twenty feet from the back of the
her passion for growing things. She is the house became a rock garden interspersed

To Love Again
By Ashley Howard Beach was the coastal town that I felt drawn County, I embarked on the most rewarding As we already know, relationships end, new
to from the moment that I arrived. After hike of all time on the Cerro Alto trail and relationships begin, people change- and in
During the drive down to Sayulita, I found viewing several properties throughout the tasted some of the most sensational wine the end, life goes on---and we continue to
myself reflecting back on what a remarkable county during the first few days after my from countless wineries. live. So even though my relationship with
time I had in San Luis Obispo County. For arrival, I knew that Avila Beach was where Central California has now come to an
maybe the first time in my life, time did not I would reside. For the first 3 months, I I drank some of the most bold and beautiful end as I once knew it, my heart is secure in
fly by, nor stand still. Five months felt like five must admit that I lived in what I now refer coffee on the central coast, and this says a knowing that I’ll always have these memories
months, or at least what I imagine 5 months to as an ‘Avila Bubble.’ Sure, just minutes lot coming from a girl who just spent the last to reflect back on: memories of new friend-
should feel like outside of living within a rat north and south of me were other coastal five years living south of Seattle, also known ships flourishing, memories of a plethora of
race. My time on the Central Coast, was just towns worth becoming aquatinted with, but as the coffee capital! I consumed food that new and exciting experiences, memories of
that- my time. I lived in the moment. My because I lived in the canyon and worked at awaked my palate out of a dead sleep, and nourishing my body, mind, and soul in ways
moment. I had some of the most incredible the beach in breathtaking Avila, I naturally tasted wine that ultimately transformed me that I had only dreamed of.
experiences of my life thus far. was content with spending the majority of into a self proclaimed Zin bitch!
my days there. Great hiking trails, mineral The last time that I was in Sayulita was this
I traveled to the Central Coast as a freshly springs, an amazing beach, consistent blue Eating, drinking and enjoying the outdoors past summer and it is where I fell in love
single woman. I had spent the previous year skies, and one of the best coffee shops in was only part of this love affair, while devel- with the world again. Sayulita inspired me to
in a relationship with a man that to this day the county had me coming back time and oping an array of relationships was the other. live the life that I had envisioned. A life full
I adore. A one of a kind guy who I know is time again. I often asked myself, ‘what more Like minded people were in abundance, of passion and adventure where I have the
meant to be ‘one’ with another, as certainly could a girl ask for?’ which made the transition effortless. I went freedom to do what I love and love all that
as I know that when I left Washington, on so many first dates that if I never dated I do! As I travel there now, I have a concise
it was time for me to be ‘one’ with myself. Avila Beach is in fact my first true love; again, I would be perfectly content with vision as to what will come to fruition
Within months of us parting ways, he found however there were certain aspects of the that! I made many acquaintances, and some during this next segment of this journey.
the one for him...and I found me. He fell in surrounding areas that I also developed true friends that made my experience on the Ahhh to love again. How sweet it is!
love...and so did I. He fell in love with her,
feelings for. In Pismo Beach, I favored The Central Coast a time to remember. The inter-
and I fell in love with myself and the countyHoneymoon Cafe & Giuseppe’s. In Shell actions I had with people over the past five
of San Luis Obispo. Beach, The Cliffs Resort and Zoro’s. In months truly enriched my life and made a
San Luis Obispo, Novo & Granada Bistro lasting imprint on my heart. These newfound
One aspect of the Central Coast that I truly were two faves. In Morro Bay, hands down relationships will surely not be forgotten.
embraced was the versatility. Each coastal Shine Cafe and Taco Temple! And in North
town has something distinct to offer. Avila
Women’s Press May & June 2010 Local Perspectives 15

To Love Again
By Ashley Howard

During the drive down to Sayulita, I found Shine Cafe and Taco Temple! And in North
myself reflecting back on what a remark- County, I embarked on the most rewarding
able time I had in San Luis Obispo County. hike of all time on the Cerro Alto trail and
For maybe the first time in my life, time tasted some of the most sensational wine
did not fly by, nor stand still. Five months from countless wineries.
felt like five months, or at least what I
imagine 5 months should feel like outside I drank some of the most bold and beautiful
of living within a rat race. My time on the coffee on the central coast, and this says a
Central Coast, was just that- my time. I lot coming from a girl who just spent the last
lived in the moment. My moment. I had five years living south of Seattle, also known
some of the most incredible experiences of as the coffee capital! I consumed food that
my life thus far. awaked my palate out of a dead sleep, and
tasted wine that ultimately transformed me
I traveled to the Central Coast as a freshly into a self proclaimed Zin bitch!
single woman. I had spent the previous year
in a relationship with a man that to this day Eating, drinking and enjoying the
I adore. A one of a kind guy who I know is outdoors was only part of this love affair,
meant to be ‘one’ with another, as certainly while developing an array of relationships
as I know that when I left Washington, was the other. Like minded people were
it was time for me to be ‘one’ with myself. in abundance, which made the transition Photo by loleia
Within months of us parting ways, he found effortless. I went on so many first dates
the one for him...and I found me. He fell in that if I never dated again, I would be
love...and so did I. He fell in love with her, perfectly content with that! I made many
Milieu
and I fell in love with myself and the county acquaintances, and some true friends that By Kathy Bond behind the living room’s black wrought iron
of San Luis Obispo. made my experience on the Central Coast sculpture of a musical combo. They bright-
a time to remember. The interactions I ened the room on cold, cloudy winter days.
One aspect of the Central Coast that I truly had with people over the past five months As a baby, Angie would get a ‘Queen Angie hung pictures and sayings such as
embraced was the versatility. Each coastal truly enriched my life and made a lasting Victoria-I-am-not amused’ expression on her Live, Love, Laugh. She placed decorative tiles
town has something distinct to offer. Avila imprint on my heart. These newfound rela- face while sitting in her high chair when the around the fireplace. Christina wondered
Beach was the coastal town that I felt drawn tionships will surely not be forgotten. world didn’t please her. I have the photo to why her mother used her delicate, white,
to from the moment that I arrived. After prove it. At about age ten, her friend’s mis- gold-trimmed, lilac floral dishes. I thought
viewing several properties throughout the As we already know, relationships end, new matched tube socks pained her. As a teacher, Why not? We used the set’s large teapot on
county during the first few days after my relationships begin, people change- and in she enjoyed planning, arranging, and deco- at least two occasions.
arrival, I knew that Avila Beach was where the end, life goes on---and we continue to rating her classroom.
I would reside. For the first 3 months, I live. So even though my relationship with Jeremy, her father, hung a huge barn painting
must admit that I lived in what I now refer Central California has now come to an When the cancer spread to her lungs, Angie of cats next to the Duncan Phyfe table, a
to as an ‘Avila Bubble.’ Sure, just minutes end as I once knew it, my heart is secure in worked full-time but her house, and the family heirloom. Angie had used some of its
north and south of me were other coastal knowing that I’ll always have these memories landscaping and gardening around it, ran leaves the previous Thanksgiving, when her
towns worth becoming aquatinted with, but to reflect back on: memories of new friend- to seed. Nobody cleaned the rooms she’d sister, brother. and his family came.
because I lived in the canyon and worked at ships flourishing, memories of a plethora of painted and furnished. It looked and felt
the beach in breathtaking Avila, I naturally new and exciting experiences, memories of like a toxic-waste dump. She moved out. Finally, she needed curtains for her room.
was content with spending the majority of nourishing my body, mind, and soul in ways She had her brother install rods, and then
my days there. Great hiking trails, mineral that I had only dreamed of. Angie and her daughter Christina moved to she took her wedding gown, and removed
springs, an amazing beach, consistent blue a small, two-bedroom, two-bathroom apart- the sleeves and bodice. She cut the sheer
skies, and one of the best coffee shops in The last time that I was in Sayulita was this ment. organza panels and attached them to the
the county had me coming back time and past summer and it is where I fell in love rod with brass clips. The fabric shimmered
time again. I often asked myself, ‘what more with the world again. Sayulita inspired me to The new, small apartment proved easy to and lent a glow to the room, where we often
could a girl ask for?’ live the life that I had envisioned. A life full care for. It had white walls and a sunny read Compline from the Book of Common
of passion and adventure where I have the exposure. When Tim, her 14-year old son, Prayer.
Avila Beach is in fact my first true love; freedom to do what I love and love all that came on weekends, she had room for him.
however there were certain aspects of the I do! As I travel there now, I have a concise The location seemed ideal too, across from
She plied the Bereavement Counselor
surrounding areas that I also developed vision as to what will come to fruition a shopping center, and down the street from
with rice pudding, the Hospice nurse with
feelings for. In Pismo Beach, I favored The during this next segment of this journey. the new library and middle school, and near
hummus and veggies, and the Bahamian
Honeymoon Cafe & Giuseppe’s. In Shell Ahhh to love again. How sweet it is! Route 40. cable guy with iced tea. Other visitors
Beach, The Cliffs Resort and Zoro’s. In included her boss, family, and friends. She
San Luis Obispo, Novo & Granada Bistro I took the tiny white lights used for greeted everyone with a big smile, and didn’t
were two faves. In Morro Bay, hands down Christmas off the patio and draped them utter a word of complaint.
16 Local Perspectives
After all... joy
By Ginny Conrow
May I remind you? Have you forgotten?
You are undeserving, you know.
Others may deserve joy, but, after all, you are
not what you should be
and you know it.
 Just look at the rubble you’ve created, after all.
Remember the unmet goals,
unfinished projects,
 unfulfilled expectations,
imperfect emotions...
and you expect joy?  creating this new world and characters
Really now, who are you kidding?
After all, only the powerful,
the driven,
the successful
deserve joy.
Yes, yes, you have some noble attributes:
intuitive compassion,
sensitivity,
empathy,
a passion for beauty.
Nothing stellar, mere signposts on the road
to nowhere.
As for joy, you have to earn it!
I...stop!!! Stop right here! Breathe.
Touching the silence in my soul,
the glowing core of my very being strengthens
with each breath.
The Past is enveloped by Present light.
And, after all,
my accuser does not have the final say.  Hard to say. Women are working, in higher
In the accuser’s silence, my soul allows God-words;
words of unconditional love, compassion
and healing.
Words whispered in spirit language pulse
through my senses,
leaving healing in their wake.
I listen and I choose.
I choose joy...after all.
campfrench@aol.com
I have been a healthcare worker for over 30 years.
I am empathetic to the many mid-life women
who, like myself, are struggling to gain balance
in the midst of working, care-giving and
coping with change.
With new predictions
showing that by mid-year
women will have surpassed
men in the workforce, what
are your reactions?
Barbara Atkinson
With the great gap that still exists between
the top level CEO’s and company employees,
with the huge amount of conglomerates, and
with the wage gap between men and women
still in effect, I suggest that more women in
the workplace does not necessarily trans-
late into high-paying jobs or equality.  More
women in the workplace may also be reflect-
ing aspects of the difficult economic times
we are in.  I am grateful for, and don’t deny,
the progress that has been made, but there is
still much to be done.
Angie King
Now, it would be nice if the women were
actually paid a wage equal to the men.  April
20th was equal pay day - that day in 2010
when women’s earnings finally reached the
same level of pay as men earned in 2009.
Angie King
I don’t know if it changed my life, but it cer-
tainly has had an impact, and that’s Mary Daly’s
Beyond God the Father: Toward a Philosophy
of Women’s Liberation. published in 1973. The
70’s were a heady time in general, and she was
a leader, acting on her principles and getting
fired from Boston College in the process. She is/
was (she just died this January) not afraid to say
what we all felt. Check her out.
Kathleen Deragon
I’d be more interested in having statistics on
how many of those jobs are family friendly:
part-time with benefits, allow job sharing,
have child care onsite, pay women equal to
Photo by Carl Dwyer
men even if they work part-time, allow flex
time and flex place when possible. Having
more of us in the workplace isn’t necessar-
ily a statistic we can be proud of if we work
in an environment that does not respect and
honor our being our children’s primary care-
giver and so offer flexibility and adequate
compensation.
Melanie Senn
Is this a boon for women’s lib or a consequence
of the tanked economy--or both? Or neither?
numbers than men. Hmmmm. Are they still
earning $.75 on the dollar, these women? Are
men still contributing far less than women when
it comes to housework, cooking, and child care?
I support  women working; I know I like to
work (I refuse to add  the phrase “outside the
home”). In my case, I know that having a job
makes me a better person--and a better spouse
AND  mother, but only because I really like
my job. I hope the high numbers are women
working because they want  jobs, not because
they desperately need them.
Caroline Janney
I think it is wonderful that there are many
job opportunities for women. But it is not
so good that they have surpassed men in
the workforce just like they have surpassed
men in the Universities. Women would
like to find partners that are their equal.
Who wants a man without a job or without
an education? This has been a problem for
African American women for some time—
they cannot find men who are their equals.
Women’s Press May & June 2010
Avatar Crit #2
By Lisa Pimentel Johnson
Who would have thought a tall blue
man with a wired tail could be so hot?
I am addicted to romantic adventures
spiced with lively verbal dialogue. In the
film Avatar, James Cameron has created
a sweet love story in full kaleidoscope of
colors encased under a huge tree canopy
with heavy armory. This movie was
powerful to me because of the amazing
imagination that the author had in
for me to enjoy. I connected with the
two young lovers and the challenges they
faced. It was a collaboration of skills,
intellect, and instinct that helped the
two culturally diverse people overcome
literally huge obstacles. I admire smart
talking, confident, sassy women who
can take care of themselves. I appreciate
handsome, strong, and slightly bumbling
men who step up to any challenge.
Weaving the current political and global
environmental issues facing our world,
the story became even more acutely
meaningful to me. I thought it was a
brilliant idea to send a message to the
millions of people who will see this movie
that we, as a nation, need to protect our
natural resources and not let man’s greed-
iness overwhelm us. I was humbled to
be reminded of the simple beauty of an
insect’s iridescent wings. We need to
remember that life is priceless. We need
to take care of each other regardless of
race, culture, religion, or politics. There
will be mistakes and casualties, but, hope-
fully, we will learn from them and move
forward again.
As for the warrior couple, a battle of the
sexes has its merits and there is makeup
time afterwards to enjoy.
Next month our Voices
around the Table question is:
Where do you find the
most peaceful place to visit
on the Central Coast?
Women’s Press May & June 2010
Drum Circle Magic, Part 10: Circular Empowerment
By Francesca Bolognini
Welcome back to the circle. By now I hope
to have given you a sense that a personal
drumming practice can be an extraordi-
narily empowering experience. But this
aspect only hints at the energy that is
derived from group participation. For at
least as long as we have been human, we
have engaged in collective rhythmic prac-
tices. To drum together can be a deeply
bonding act, especially when this is the
intention. In the ancient world, such circles
were an integral part of every celebration
and event, be it seasonal, rite of passage,
healing, or the start or resolution of conflict.
In remaining tribal cultures, this is still the
case.
In the modern world, it is beginning again.
Drum circles sprout up everywhere: Full
Moon, New Moon, Solstice, Equinox,
family gatherings and parties, spiritual and
corporate retreats and conferences. People
are gathering in living rooms, back yards,
public halls, schools, parks, around camp-
fires, on beaches.
Circles are again a means of healing, for
cancer survivors, returning soldiers, abused
and alienated youth, and in many other reha-
bilitation settings. Drumming is again being
used as a tool of conflict resolution, such as
in the corporate world and between children
from opposing sides of international disputes.
Drumming together, they experience the
“sameness” of participants rather than per-
ceived differences. There is the opportunity
for nonverbal exchange , a connection with
Local Perspectives 17
Status of Women needs YOU
By Paulette Claire sure that you are on the home page, note
that toward the center of the page you will
The San Luis Obispo County Commission see “SLO County Residents,” and click the
on the Status of Women can be your voice “English Language” survey, download it
within our county. It has been an official onto your computer, print it, fill it out, and
advisory group to the Board of Supervisors send it to the post office box listed below.
in San Luis Obispo since 1975. During the Unfortunately, our Spanish version has not
spring and summer months of the year, been placed on our website, but it is avail-
the Commission on the Status of Women able. For those who are interested call (805)
surveys our county’s women and reports 788-3406, and a survey will be sent out.
back to the Board of Supervisors with their
findings. Our county has unique challenges We, as women, live in a wonderful commu-
all its own, and we need your input so that nity in a time that gives women more and
your voice can be heard. more opportunities. It is, however, still a
time of inequalities for women, and we must
With your help, we can meet our objectives: gather our strength together, speak together,
1) Equalization of women in our community, and let our needs and inequalities be heard.
2) Knowledge of women and their needs, 3) Do your part today, download the survey,
Collaboration and the use of resources in print it, fill it out, and send it to us so that
our community, 4) Provide to our govern- your voice can be heard. We can make a dif-
ment valuable solutions for women’s issues ference one survey at a time.
and concerns. It is your voice that we want
speaking through us. Please take a moment
to go to our website and download the Where to find us:
survey. Your anonymity will be respected San Luis Obispo County Commission on the
and your answers will be a part of a report Status of Women
presented to the Board of Supervisors.
Post Office Box 15116
The women serving as Commissioners come San Luis Obispo, CA 93406
from all walks of life throughout the county,
and they need your help so that women can (805) 788-3406
be heard throughout the county. Go to the cosowo@gmail.com
Commission’s website, slowomen.org, be slowomen.org
something larger than themselves in a deeply black shoe shine boys in the French Quarter
moving, shared experience. when I was growing up. They were consum-
mate performers, who, in those hard times,
Learning to play mandolin, I practiced a used the spare change they earned for food.
piece which was actually a traditional Irish I had great respect for their unrelenting and
fiddle tune called “The Burning of the ingenious pursuit of their rhythmic heritage.
Piper’s Hut.” It mourned the village piper, We could all take a lesson from such value
who usually performed with a drummer, placed on cultural roots.
banned and banished by the English,
because of the power of music to rally the Our western heritage had been all but
Irish to possible rebellion. In Anti-bellum stripped of drumming and the sister art of
New Orleans, slaves were at first allowed dance by various elements seeking control
to gather and drum in Congo Square. But over our motivations. At one point nearly all
before long this intense display of solidar- that remained was the military march, used
ity and strength of community was seen as a to propel soldiers into battle. Community
threat to the white population and banned. drumming and dancing for healing, cele-
This led, by the way, to the practice of tap brating and peaceful solidarity is a profound
dancing, a method of drumming with one’s method for restoring the nurturing feminine
feet, which had a much less threatening balance. Power to the Rhythm Sisters! Until
appearance. I learned the art of tap from the next time, keep the beat!
18 Local Perspectives Women’s Press May & June 2010

Amazing Love
By Brooks Thoman
He sat across from me with sad, troubled
eyes, preoccupied with what? Was it worry,
or loss, or maybe fear of what tomorrow
might hold? I went ahead chattering on and
on about this and that hoping that with
enough diversion I could somehow lighten
his load and bring a smile to his face, but
no, the shadow still lingered there. I wished
just this once he wouldn’t carry that huge
sack filled with such heavy burdens and we
could be young and light again, filled with
carefree hearts only beating with love for
each other and things above.
Eventually, I turned the subject to things
that I thought might be of interest to him…
work about this and that and he half-heart-
edly answered. Then he blurted out, “Yeah,
it’s all important, but none of it is as impor-
tant to me as our relationship. What I
really care about isn’t if we are going to be
able to raise funds to support the work or forward into marriage, we would only settle our list of “20 things that you do that make
have enough money to pay our own bills, for THE BEST, nothing less. And yet, I me feel loved” and planning our day off to
or even about the work in China or Kenya had settled for far, far less…for myself, for really be a day off--together. Days float by
right now. What I really care about is what him, for us. Boldly I looked intently into into weeks and then into months and even
is happening with us. I am frustrated about his big blue eyes and declared, “I’m sorry, years and all can be lost. In this moment,
our marriage. I really don’t know what else I’m so sad that I have caused you so much in this day, I’m so grateful that our love for
to do; you call it disconnection. I call it shut
pain. It wasn’t my intention. I didn’t mean each other has been found.
off and separated. I miss you; I want you to hurt you or withdraw from you and our
back and I’m at a complete loss as to what to marriage the way I have. I know I have been
do about it.” mean and cruel at times and I’m sorry. It’s
not what I want for you, for us, for our life Brooks Thoman is a wife and mom. She is
As I listened, I knew it was true. Emotions together. Please, please forgive me.” a missionary who has a passion for oppressed
began to swell within my inmost being and women, especially in Africa, where she has
my eyes filled with tears as I felt so sad at And, he did. He forgave. Then, we talked established a Women’s Vocational Training
the hurt I had caused the man I loved most about simplicity: simple tools we know that Center in Kenya.
in the whole wide world. Every word he was speak love into our marriage, like remaking
saying and every word he wasn’t saying…all
true. I had become so self-focused, so self-
absorbed that all I had been thinking about
was myself. He had tried to tell me before,
but I hadn’t heard. I hadn’t wanted to hear.
Now I saw the depth of hurt I had caused.
We had agreed some 15 years ago that to go

Military Women and PTSD served in Iraq and Afghanistan since

2001. About 20 percent of servicewomen
Something to think about this Memorial compared to only 8 percent of men develop
Day is what happens to women in the post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD),
military when they are attacked, raped, a debilitating, life-threatening anxiety
harassed, and discriminated against by disorder that may affect as many as 300,000
their own colleagues and superiors. We are veterans of the current wars. Women
in Year 9 of the Iraq War, now operating in develop PTSD at more than twice the rate
Afghanistan as well, and possibly extending men do. The Department of Defense reports
to Yemen or Somalia or both, with no end that 14.5 percent of female and 0.6 percent
in sight, and our military personnel, men of male veterans visiting the Department
and women, are overstretched. But should of Veterans reported military sexual
the women be attacked by their own side as trauma, and these numbers are probably
well as foreign enemies? an underestimate. The women’s suffering,
generally quieter, is far less publicized, far
When women are traumatized, they’re often less researched, and until recently, far less
traumatized by people who are supposed to treated. Before this war, its primary cause
love or protect them. In a military setting, was sexual trauma, not combat trauma. But
your commanding officer is an author- now, with women returning from combat
ity figure who is supposed to protect you. deployments in greater numbers than ever
Your fellow officers or soldiers are supposed before in U.S. history, the Department of
to have your back. So when one of them Veterans Affairs is scrambling to meet a
attacks you, it’s a huge betrayal. Sexual need whose scope is still unknown.
assault and severe sexual harassment — col-
lectively known as military sexual trauma
If you have experienced a sexual assault in
(MST) — is nearly epidemic in the armed
the military or otherwise, it is important to
services. And many women veterans report
take action right away. The United States
that the sense of betrayal is compounded
Department of Health and Human Services
— and the trauma and shame intensified —
(womenshealth.gov/faq/) provides informa-
when the chain of command fails to act on
tion on sexual assault, as well as on what
a reported incident, minimizes it, or even
to do if you have been sexually assaulted.
punishes women who report assaults. Information on MST and how to get help is
also available through the National Center
More than 190,000 military women have for PTSD (vetcenter.va.gov)
Women’s Press May & June 2010
This Page Presented by the
The purpose of NOW is to bring women into full participation in the mainstream of American society NOW !
Coordinator’s Corner
By Angie King
The display at the SLO public library in
March to commemorate Women’s History
Month got lots of attention for NOW
and women. For those of you who didn’t
get a chance to see it, here are a couple of
pictures. The Board of Supervisors issued a
proclamation in honor of Women’s History
Month as well, with a roomful of San Luis
Obispo County’s distinguished women in
the audience. It was quite a thrill!
You may have heard that the Cuesta College of the month, and be sure to come May 6 to
women’s tennis team got eliminated this the Ludwig Center for the Women’s Sports
year, as part of the budget cuts. That action program.
ran afoul of the requirement of federal law
that opportunities for participation in sports
must be proportionate to the enrollment at
the school. Eliminating one women’s team
wholesale cuts that proportion below what
is allowed. As a result, a Title IX federal
complaint has been filed against Cuesta.
The local chapter of NOW thinks this is an
important issue that merits more coverage
than just one article in the paper and a
comment by the acting Cuesta College pres-
ident that they will not be having a public
meeting about the issue. Well, if they won’t,
NOW will! We have a public discussion
on this topic planned for May 6, although
you may not get this issue of the newsletter
until after the event. Diane Milutinovich, a
now retired athletic director of Fresno State
University, filed the complaint and will (or
did) discuss it, along with California NOW
gender equity advisor, Linda Joplin.
The big event last month (April) was the
California State NOW conference, with
a chance to participate in a webinar of the
National NOW Board meeting. Three of
us traveled to Irvine to participate. It was
National Organization for Women
an intense two days of discussion on the
future of NOW, the future of women’s
rights, our place in the political arena, and
a lot of laughter and camaraderie among
those attending. Here’s a picture of us at the
conference (from L to R: Angie King, Pat
Renshaw and Leslyn Keith).
There’s always more to do than time to do
it in! NOW needs you to help! Join us. Fill
in the membership form in this paper, or
contact us at slonow@kcbx.net, or better yet
come to our meetings on the third Tuesday
NOW Calendar
• May 1: birthday of Mary Harris
(Mother Jones) labor activist, 1830
• May 1: International Workers’ Day
• May 6: International No Diet Day
• May 18: NOW regular meeting, 6 PM
• June 1: Equal Pay Act becomes law,
1964
• June 12: US Women’s Air force estab-
lished, 1948
• June 15: NOW regular meeting, 6 PM
• June 18: Sally Ride, first woman in
space, 1983
• June 19: birthday of Aung San Suu Kyi,
Burmese activist, 1945
• June 19: Juneteenth, anniversary of
Emancipation Proclamation
• June 22: birthday of Dianne Feinstein,
1933
• June 22: Amelia Earhart files solo across
Pacific Ocean, 1932
• June 23: Title IX becomes law, 1972
• June 27: birthday of Helen Keller, 1880
• June 28: NOW founded, 1966
NOW News 19
NOW Chapter # CA 565
PO Box 1306, SLO, CA 93406
SLONOW @ kcbx.net
http://groups.myspace.com/~slonow
General Meetings
1060 Palm St., SLO
3rd Tuesday of every month at 6:00 pm
NOW Goals
• Support reproductive choice
• Work to eliminate ALL violence against women
• Fight against sexual harassment
• Encourage tolerance and diversity
• Promote feminist issues
• Commemorate Roe v Wade (Jan 22)
• Celebrate Women’s Equality Day (Aug 26)
• Participate in Farmer’s Market
• Support feminist politics
Get Involved — Join NOW!
San Luis Obispo Chapter
National Organization for Women
Every woman doesn’t have to join NOW,
just the 142 million who are discriminated against!
Name: _ ______________________________________________
Address: _____________________________________________
City/St/ZIP: __________________________________ _________
Phone: ________________________________________________
Regular Dues ….$40, Sliding Scale…..$15-39
Send your check and this form to
PO Box 1306
SLO, CA 93406
Chapter # CA 565
slonow@kcbx.net Amount enclosed: _______
______
20 NOW News Women’s Press May & June 2010

May 9 is Mother’s Day

Here’s some news of note about mothers and of the study, noted one surprising statistic Control and Prevention in Atlanta noted incomes, fair compensation, and workplace
working families: was the number of pregnant women who the first drop in the birth rate since 2000, flexibility; safe and healthy workplaces
died from AIDS: about 60,000. “Really to due, at least in part, according to the CDC, with a voice for workers; and sustainable
1. Maternal deaths are down for the first a large extent that’s why maternal mortality on the recession. About 4.2 million babies and innovative jobs, providing opportuni-
time in decades. Researchers are reporting a is rising in eastern and southern Africa,” Dr. were born in 2008, a 2% drop from 2007, ties to acquire skills and knowledge for the
significant drop worldwide in the number of Murray said. “It means, to us, that if you and information for the first quarter of 2009 future – like green jobs, all of which will
women dying each year from pregnancy and want to tackle maternal mortality in those indicates a continuation of that trend. Birth help restore the middle class. However,
childbirth, to about 342,900 in 2008 from regions, you need to pay attention to the rates in all age and demographic catego- she pointed out that women still hold the
526,300 in 1980. The findings, published in management of H.I.V. in pregnant women. ries dropped, except for women over age 40, majority of low wage jobs; women still
the medical journal The Lancet, challenge It’s not about emergency obstetrical care, who showed a 4% increase in 2008. Some face discrimination and harassment in the
the prevailing view of maternal mortality as but about access to antiretrovirals.” speculated that more sophisticated assisted work place, and the pay gap still exists. She
an intractable problem that has defied every reproductive services may account for this pointed out some gains for women, includ-
effort to solve it. An advocate for women’s health, Dr. Flavia increase, as well as the imperative of the ing the Family and Medical Leave Act, the
Bustreo, director of the Partnership for ticking biological clock. That women are recent Lily Ledbetter Act, and the creation
The study cited a number of reasons for the Maternal, Newborn and Child Health, delaying pregnancies because of the reces- of the White House Council on Women and
improvement: lower pregnancy rates in some said the improvements described in the sion was corroborated by a report from the Girls, and noted that the Labor Department
countries; higher income, which improves new report represented “hope at last,” and Pew Research Center, which found those budget includes a fund to encourage states
nutrition and access to health care; more suggested the new data should encourage states hit hardest by the recession showed to provide state level family leave programs
education for women; and the increasing politicians to spend more on pregnancy- the lowest birth rates. Teen birth rates and allocates money for job training, finan-
availability of “skilled attendants” — people related health matters. “For 20 years, the dropped 2%, with the rate for Hispanic cial education, and forums on work-life
with some medical training — to help safe motherhood movement has been con- teenagers accounting for a large portion of policies. The conflict women face in employ-
women give birth. Improvements in large veying an impression of no progress,” Dr. that statistic. More babies were carried to ment between caring for their families and
countries like India and China helped to Bustreo said. “To hear confirmation of term in 2008, decreasing the risk of infant furthering their careers affects all of us.
drive down the overall death rates. improvements is good news. To us, the good mortality (from the LA Times). Millions of families depend on the wages
news will maintain the interest of investors. of women for their support. Yet, problems
The new report comes from the University If you don’t show results, that’s the worst 3. Secretary of Labor Hilda Solis reports on persist, particular in health care coverage for
of Washington and the University of position you can be in. The evidence and working families. Secretary Solis was the low wage jobs and paid sick leave policies,
Queensland in Brisbane, Australia and scientific truths have to be put in the open keynote speaker at the California Working and lack of appropriate childcare. She
was paid for by the Bill and Melinda Gates and discussed.” (from the New York Times) Families Summit in Sacramento in February pledged the support of her Department
Foundation. Dr. Christopher J. L. Murray, this year, outlining her vision for the depart- and the Obama Administration in working
the director of the institute for health 2. Birthrates in the US are dropping. A new ment, and in particular, for women. Her towards solutions for these issues.
metrics and evaluation at the University report released by the Centers for Disease vision of a good job includes increasing
of Washington, in Seattle, and an author

Reproductive Health News The obvious goal here is to present the Even in this charged debate, phony accusa-
Supreme Court with a new vehicle for tions of genocide should be out of bounds,
It has been three years since the Supreme - In Oklahoma, the Center for Reproductive further watering down Roe v. Wade. That is but political forces that oppose abortion
Court’s conservative majority abruptly Rights succeeded last week in blocking a troubling enough, but lately another tactic are pursuing a focused, often successful
departed from precedent to uphold a federal burdensome measure designed to discour- is being deployed to demonize abortion and campaign. Americans who support women’s
ban on a particular method of abortion. age abortions by requiring pre-procedure abortion providers and further polarize the reproductive rights need to make their
Emboldened, foes of reproductive freedom sonograms and exempting physicians from nation. Citing the disproportionately high voices heard. (from the NY Times)
are pressing new attacks on women’s rights liability for failing to disclose fetal abnor- number of African-American women who
and health. malities. But the ruling turned on a undergo abortions, for example, abortion And of course, the baseless attacks continue
technical flaw in the law, and its supporters foes are hurling baseless charges of genocide
about federal funding for abortions under
• In Utah, Gov. Gary Herbert, a Republican, are expected to try again. and racial discrimination. Since last year, the newly passed federal health care
has signed a bill that would criminalize a staff member of Georgia Right to Life (insurance) reform bill. While the Hyde
certain behavior by women that results in • An even more ominous assault on repro- has been traveling to black churches and amendment has prohibited the use of any
miscarriage. It was prompted by a sad and ductive freedom is looming in Nebraska. A colleges, spreading the lie that abortion federal money to pay for abortions for 35
strange case last year in which a teenager blatantly unconstitutional measure moving is the key to conspiracy to kill off blacks.years, the new bill makes it severely cumber-
who was seven months pregnant sought to through the State Legislature would ban Recently, the group posted dozens of bill- some to the point of near impossibility for
induce a miscarriage by hiring a man to beat abortions at 20 weeks’ gestation — before boards around Atlanta that proclaim, “Black a women with health insurance under the
her. The measure exempts lawful abortions, viability and earlier than constitution- children are an endangered species.” terms of the new bill, to obtain an abortion
and particularly worrisome language about ally allowed. Its narrow health exception even with her own money. It is high time,
“reckless” acts has been removed. But the excludes mental health. The bill prohib- In fact, of course, there is no conspiracy. says Patty Bellasalma, CA NOW state presi-
law still raises concern about zealous pros- its doctors from performing an abortion The real reason so many black women have dent, to work to repeal Hyde. NOW will be
ecutors using a woman’s difficult choices to to avoid a serious risk that the woman may abortions can be explained in four words: focusing on a campaign to do just that in
open an investigation. commit suicide. too many unwanted pregnancies. the coming months and year.
Women’s Press May & June 2010 Bulletins 21

Cuesta and Women’s Sports: California’s Energy Vision

Changing the Score Women and the future of energy
Where: Ludwig Center, SLO Cal Poly Chumash Auditorium
When: Thursday, May 6, 2010 from 6-8 PM May 10, 2010
Public Event: 12 –2 PM
Do you play women’s sports—or think you
might want to? Come find out about your Private reception: 3-5 PM (call for reserva-
rights under federal law. tion 805 704 1810) or contact Rochelle at:
rochelle@a4nr.org
Hear Diane Milutinovich and Linda Joplin,
two well known experts in the area of Four exciting women energy experts will
gender equity in sports, discuss the recent come to San Luis Obispo May 10, 2010 to
events at Cuesta College and how we can share their vision of California’s energy
help make sure women’s sports are protected future. In addition, the forum will include
from further cuts! a special guest moderator. This is the first
forum in California to bring together
Free and open to the public. women clean energy providers, electric
consumer advocates, and energy policy
Refreshments will be served analysts to discuss what women can do to
protect ratepayers, encourage clean energy
Sponsored by SLO NOW and SLO AAUW and affect the policies shaping our future.
Julie Blunden The Vice-President of Public
Policy and Corporate Communication for Sun
Power will share her history in the renewable
power industry and SunPower’s plans to create
Where to find Women’s Press
All Libraries and the following exceptionally fine establishments!
• NORTH COUNTY: Atascadero – The Coffee House and Deli, Starbuck’s
at Von’s Plaza, Green Goods, Player’s Pizza, Harvest Health Food Store, North
County Connection, Senior Center, Women’s Resource Center/Shelter Office,
Curves. Paso Robles – Cuesta College North Campus, Café Vio, Curves, DK
Donuts, Panolivo French Cafe, NCI Village Thrift Shop, Paso Robles Health
Foods; Templeton – Twin Cities Hospital, Templeton Market & Deli, Affinity
Chiropractic, Kinship Center, Jobella’s Coffee; Santa Margarita– Santa Margarita
Mercantile.
• NORTHERN COAST: Baywood – Coffee & Things; Cambria – Cambria
Connection, Cambria Pines Lodge, Chamber of Commerce, Gym One, Azevedo
Chiropractic, Lilly’s, Alloco’s, Cambria Drug and Gift, Bob & Jan’s Bottle Shop,
Linn’s, Donna’s Nail Salon, Cookie Crock, Rainbow Bean and Coffee Shop;
Cayucos – Cayucos Super Market, Kelley’s EsPresso & Dessert, Ocean Front Pizza,
Chevron Station, Mobile Balloons; Los Osos – Starbuck’s, Baywood Laundry,
Cad’s, Carlock’s Bakery, Chamber of Commerce, Copa de Oro, Garden Café, Los
Osos Deli Liquor, Volumes of Pleasure; Morro Bay – Backstage Salon, Coalesce
Bookstore, Coffee Pot Restaurant, The Rock, Southern Port Traders, Sunshine
Health Foods, Two Dogs Coffee, La Parisienne Bakery.
• SAN LUIS OBISPO: Broad St. Laundry, Cool Cats Café, La Crepes, Edna Market,

Never Calls innovated solar projects in San Luis Obispo

County.
Booboo Records, Creekside Center, GALA, Marigold Nails, Palm Theatre, Susan
Polk Insurance, Utopia Bakery, Unity Church, Zoe Wells, Naturopath, Cal Poly
Library and Women’s Center, Center for Alternatives to Violence, Chamber of
Continued from page 10 Haley Goodson has been a staff attorney at Commerce, Cuesta College Library, EOC Health Services Clinic, HealthWorks,
TURN (The Utility Reform Network) since Healing Alternatives, Laguna Laundry, Linnaea’s, Monterey Express, Natural
but he rarely turns on his cell phone, and 2003. Haley’s legal work is focused on consumer
he pretends he doesn’t know how to access protection and renewable/efficiency energy Foods Coop, New Frontiers, Nautical Bean, Outspoken Beverage Bistro, Phoenix
voice messages. I could email him, but programs. Books, Planned Parenthood, West End Espresso & Tea, San Luis Obispo Housing
he rarely checks email. Sometimes I type Authority Office, SARP, The Secret Garden, SLO Perk Coffee, Spirit Winds
“mother” in the subject line and hope. I try Carla Peterman is a doctoral candidate in Therapy, The Studio Fitness for Women, Uptown Cafe, Yoga Centre, Ahshe Hair
his office only in emergencies. the Energy and Resources Group, University of Salon, Apropos Clothing, Soho Hair Salon, Hempshak, YMCA, KCBX, Salon on
California Berkeley. Carla’s primary research
Monterey, Jaffa Café, Med Stop (Madonna Plaza), World Rhythm and Motion,
I could be annoyed and huffy, but that interests are renewable energy, technology
would get me nowhere. I consider myself innovation, and climate change mitigation Steynberg Gallery, Correa Chiropractic, High St. Deli, Sunset N. Car Wash,
fortunate when I ponder the flip side: I policy. Jamaica You, United Blood Services.
would be miserable if my children called • SOUTH COUNTY: Arroyo Grande – Mongo’s, Act II Boutique, Central
daily with problems or requests for a new Catherine Kunkel is a PhD candidate in the Coast Yoga, CJ’s Restaurant, Curves-AG, Cutting Edge, EOC Health Services
car or money or lived at home. The simple Energy and Resources Group at the University Clinic, Girls Restaurant, Grande Whole Foods, Chameleon; Avila Beach– Avila
facts are I miss my children more than they of California, Berkeley. Her work so far has
miss me, and although I am always happy to been focused on state and local climate policies. Grocery, Custom House, Sycamore Hot Springs, Inn at Avila, Joe Mamma’s;
hear from them, they are not always happy Grover Beach – Back Door Deli, Cindi’s Wash House, Nan’s Pre-owned
to hear from me. When they left for college, Sponsored by: The SWANS Project of Books, Therapeutic Body Center, 30-minute Fitness; Halcyon – Halcyon Store;
I learned to await child-initiated calls. If the Alliance for Nuclear Responsibility, Nipomo – Anna’s Creekside Coffee House, Healing Touch Spa, Curves, La Placita
they called, they wanted to visit. Empower Poly, Transition Towns. Visit Market, Healthy Inspirations, World Gym, Trendy Sister Salon, Senior Centers;
a4nr.org for more inforation.
Pismo Beach – Honeymoon Café, Pismo Athletic Club, RETurn to JOY!; Shell
It doesn’t hurt to ask for more communica-
tion, but a wise parent prepares herself to be Beach – De Palo & Sons Deli, Seaside Cafe, Steaming Bean.
turned down. And she accepts the friend- • SANTA MARIA: Café Monet, Hunter’s Landing, Library, Curves on Main and
ship her child offers—as she does from on Broadway, Lassen’s.
another friend. • ORCUTT: Loading Dock, Oasis Spa.
22 Resources
Adrift
Continued from page 11
ahead on the project.
San Luis native Sandy Rodriguez, CNM
kindly allowed me to use her as an example
of how just one midwife can make a differ-
ence. She has caught babies in our hospitals
for 27 years now. I calculated how much
money she had saved our community over
the years and came up with a stagger-
ing $12.3 to $24.7 million dollars saved and
300 to 600 women spared from undergo-
ing major abdominal surgery as part of their
birth process.
In June it was time to join our small craft
with the Democratic Party’s Armada so
we sat down with Betsy Umhofer from
Rep. Capps’ office to float our ideas for the
health care bill. She listened with respect
and interest as our panel somewhat ner-
vously presented our information. It felt
good to make our case and have someone
really listen. Ms. Umhofer explained that
Congresswoman Capps was interested in
what we had to say and had a staff member
in D.C. who was currently working on
women’s health issues. She graciously
accepted our packet and said she would pass
it along to her counterpart in Washington
So now we were tied to Lois Capps’ ship:
to come sailing in with flying colors or
sink into the murky depths never to be
heard from again. I felt very heroic sailing
out within that shining Armada to battle
upon the high sea. As the summer wore
on and into the fall, I became increasingly
depressed watching our fleet going round
and round caught in a whirlpool of bitter
political rhetoric. In the winter I began to
despair that the whole adventure would be
for naught especially after seeing the whole
country stalled in the doldrums of ridicu-
lous political posturing. In February, I was
feeling downright mutinous. Would we
be forever adrift on this never ending sea
of compromise? And then March 22 came
and I received an e-mail from the Mama
Campaign. We did it!
On the day President Obama signed the
health care bill, he made history for women
across America: women who want to birth
with midwives in freestanding birth centers;
women who want to birth with people who
believe in and respect the innate power of
women to bring their babies into this world
safely and peacefully. And I felt like Jason
Women’s Press May & June 2010
ABUSE La Clinica De Tolosa
Adults Molested as Children Support
Group (AMAC) Rape Survivors Support
triumphantly sailing into port clutching the Group, SLO
238.5334
La Leche League
489.9128
Golden Fleece. Support Group for Sexual Assault Migrant Childcare Program
Survivors 544.4355 and 466.3444
True it isn’t the whole Fleece; midwives 545.8888 MOMS Club of South SLO county
who help women give birth in the privacy Center for Alternatives to Domestic 473.2548; www.southslomomsclub.org
of their own homes will still not be covered Violence Partnership for Children
by Medicaid, but it is an historic start with 781.6406 541.8666; ask for Beth
the potential to lead birth in a whole new North County Women’s Shelter & Real F.A.C.T.S. (Forum on Abused
direction in this country. It is after all only Resource Center, Children)
a baby step, but as mothers, we understand (inc. domestic violence support groups) 460.9016
just how far baby steps can lead. 461.1338 Social Services
SARP (Sexual Assault Recovery & 781.1600
• California Maternal Death Rate 1996: Prevention) Support for Kids Coping with
5.6 mothers die per 100,000 live births. 545.8888 or 800.656.HOPE (4673) Domestic Violence
• 2006: 16.9 mothers die per 100,000 Women’s Shelter Program of SLO 473.6507
781.6401 www.womensshelterslo.org
live births. EMERGENCY/CRISIS
ADDICTIONS Hotline
California’s rate is even worse than the AA Meeting www.slohotline.org 800.549.8989
national rate which is 13.3. My guess as to 541.3211 Sexual & Rape Prevention (SARP)
why we are higher is a deadly combina- Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) 545.8888 or 800.656.HOPE (4673)
tion of cultural factors, fear of liability by 498.2176 Temporary Restraining Order
doctors, and Hollywood stars fueling a “too Al-Anon & Victim Witness
posh to push” mentality. 534.9204 Program 781.5821
Cambria Connection (12 step support)
Here is a question I would like answered. 927.1654 EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
Where does the fact that we have gone back Casa Solana A.D.A.P.T. (Aid in Divorce Adjustment
Women’s Recovery Home 481.8555 Problems Today)
to the “once a cesarean always a cesarean”
Chemical Dependency intensive 543.0388
policy fit into this picture? How can a Alzheimer/Dementia Resource Center
woman be an informed consumer when outpatient program
541-9113 800.443.1236
choosing between the risks of having a Alzheimer’s Association
repeat cesarean versus the risks of trying for Compulsive Eaters Anonymous, H.O.W.
Concept 547.3830
a vaginal birth after a cesarean if doctors are CALL–Concerned Agoraphobics
keeping the facts about the risks from us?
546.1178 www.ceahow.org
Drug & Alcohol Services Learning to Live
781.4275 543.3764
So if someone is recommending to you to Narcotics Anonymous Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA)
schedule an induction simply because you are 549.7730 and 800.549.7730 542.0577 (SLO), 927.1654 (Cambria),
at week 40, basically picking a day for your Overeaters Anonymous 466.8600 (North County)
baby’s birth by signing up for a trip to the 541.3164 Community Counseling Center
Operating Room, don’t make your decision SCA, SLAA & SAA (Sex, Love & Romance 543.7969
lightly because your life may depend on the Addictions) Creative Mediation
decision you make. Consider first: Do you 461.6084 549.0442
have any other indications that your health TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) Dealing With Divorce
or your baby’s health needs you to take this 929.1789 www.tops.org 544.9313
risky step? Is your blood pressure too high? Women for Sobriety Depresson and Bipolar Support
Is your baby no longer growing or showing 215.536.8026 www.womenforsobriety.org Alliance Group
other clear signs of being in distress? Women 927.3703
CHILDREN & FAMILIES Divorce Discussion Group
will often be frightened by stories of healthy
Birth and Baby Resource Center 489.2990, saintbarnabas@sbcglobal.net
placentas magically turning into degrading Eating Disorders Support Group
placentas the moment they are at 40 weeks
546.3755 www.bbrn.org
Childcare Resource Connection 546-3774; free, meets weekly in SLO
plus 1 day. Yes, all placentas will begin to 541.2272 or 800.727.2272 Grief Drop-In Support Groups
break down at some point. For some women Court Appointed Special Advocates 544.2266, multiple meetings avail.
it will start at week 38 and for others at week (CASA) Project Lifesaver
43. The only way to know about your placenta “A child’s voice in Court in SLO County” 548.0909 www.projectlifesaverofslo.org
is to monitor the health of your baby through 541.6542 Safe and Sober Support Group
nonstress tests and ultrasound. Remember Children’s Services Network 473.6507
there are times when the very best choice for 781.1847 St. Barnabas (Depression/Divorce/
you and your baby is an induction or cesarean First 5: Children & Families Grief)
surgery, but only if there are clear indications Commission 489.2990 www.stbarnabas.ag.org
of current risk. 781.4058; ask for Susan Hughs Transformations Counseling Center
Homeschooling in SLO County (HSC) Free monthly workshops 541.7908
462.0726; ask for Barbara
Women’s Press May & June 2010 Resources 23
FINANCE/BUSINESS MEDICAL SUPPORT/SERVICES POLITICAL Hungry Hearts Spiritual Community
Consumer Credit Counseling Services ALS Support Group (Lou Gehrig’s Code Pink RC liturgy with womanpriest 546.8672
800.540.2227 Disease) www.codepinkslo.org; ososousaville@ New Beginnings Church
227.4785 or 674.4162 charter.net Every Sunday, Coalesce Bookstore, MB
GAY & LESBIAN Alzheimer’s Support Commission on Status of Women Self-Realization Fellowship
Gay and Lesbian Alliance of the 547.3830, 534.9234 (SLO/Los Osos) 788.3406; www.slowomen.org Sunday Services 995-1599
Central Coast 888.488.6555 Democratic Women United
541.4252 WOMEN’S CENTERS/SHELTERS
American Cancer Society 541.4252 Homeless Shelter
PFLAG.Parents & Friends of Lesbians & San Luis Obispo 543.1481, 238.9657 League of Women Voters
Gays 543.2220 781-3993
Templeton 434.3051 Housing Authority
438.3889 Anorexia Nervosa & Bulimia Support NOW (National Organization for
SOL (Single Older Lesbians) Group Women) 543.4478
Mostly socializing! Call 474.9405 North County Women’s Resource
541.9113 www.kcbx.net/~slonow/ Center, Shelter
HOSPICE Arthritis Foundation slonow@kcbx.net 461.1338
Hospice of SLO County, AIDS 892.5556 Prado Day Center (for the homeless)
Bereavement Group Cancer/ Breast Cancer Support Groups READERS/WRITERS 786.0617 www.pradodaycenter.org
543.1481 ext. 3 for information Adult Literacy
544.2266 and 434.1164 541-4219 Women’s Community Center, SLO
Hospice Partners of the Central Coast Caregivers of Aging Parents Creative Writing Group 544.9313
782.8608 543.7969 Women’s Shelter Program of SLO
Celiac Disease Support Group 748-2676; contact Gloria
Nightwriters 549.8989 (crises), 781.6401 (business)
JOBS/CAREERS 226.9893 www.womensshelterslo.org
AARP Endometriosis Association 549.9656; contact Shirley Powell
www.endometriosisassn.org Sisters in Crime OTHER WOMEN’S
788.2643
Cal Poly Foundation Enhancement, Inc. (for breast cancer http://SinC-CCC.blogspot.com
Jobline 756.7107 www. survivors) ORGANIZATIONS
SENIORS Altrusa International, Inc.
calpolyfoundation.org 771.8640 www.enhancementinc.com
EOC Health Services Clinics Adult Day Care 481.1039; Cici Wynn, President
Cal Poly University 489.8894 (Arroyo Grande);
http://calpolyjobs.org 756.1533 no or low cost reproductive health American Association of University
services 434.2081 (Templeton); 927.4290 Women
Cuesta College
544.2478 (SLO); 489.4026 (Arroyo (Cambria) 781-0922 Karen www.aauw.org
http://www.cuesta.edu Jobline 546.3127 Adult Protective Services
The Creekside Career Center Grande) Camping Women
Healthworks of the Central Coast 781.1790 440.2723 www.campingwomen.org
788.2600 or 237.3014 www.slocareers. Caring Callers
No or low cost reproductive health Hadassah.SLO
org 547.7025 x 17
Department of Rehabilitation services 543.9452
Computerooters:
549.3361 542.0900 Computer help: 489.6230 OTHER GROUPS &
Mission Community Services Hearst Cancer Resource Center Department of Social Services: GATHERINGS
Corporation 542.6234 In-Home Support 781.1790
Women’s Business Partners IC Interstitial Cystitis/Painful Central Coast Peace and
595.1357 www.mcscorp.org Bladder Syndrome Nursing help for the terminally ill Environmental Council
Private Industry Council (PIC) 3rd Thursday, SLO, 7 -9 pm 464-0564 781.5540 544.3399 or 783.2383
Elder and Dependent Adult Advocacy
www.jobhunt.org 788.2601 Long-term Care Ombudsman Services of
and Outreach – Victim Witness
Uplift Group Singing and Support
SLO County Sunday @ 6pm, at the Senior Center
LEGAL Assistance Center
785.0132 1455 Santa Rosa.
California Rural Legal Assistance Lymphedema Education & Support 781-5821
544.7994 Group Foster Grandparents.Senior
Core Mediation Services 2nd Monday, 4-5 pm, 782-9300 Companions
544.6334 medeee8@aol.com Parkinson’s Support Groups 782.9200
Senior Peer Counseling
Creative Mediation 466.7226 (Atascadero/Templeton)
549.0442 481.7424 (Arroyo Grande) Free, trained in.home counseling for 60+
District Attorney’s Office – Victim 541.8633 (SLO) 547.7025 ext. 15
Witness Center Planned Parenthood SPIRITUAL
781.5821 SLO 549.9446 Awakening Interfaith Spiritual
Family Law Facilitator Stroke Support Group Community Please send additions, corrections or
788.3418 471.8102 (SLO) Meditation, Sunday Services, Classes.
Lawline Caregivers of Stroke Survivors deletions to: womenspress.slo@gmail.
788.2099 Open to all. 772-0306 com or leave a message at the WCC:
544.2266 (SLO) awakeninginterfaith.org
Lawyer Referral and Information The Wellness Community - Cancer Support 805.544.9313. Last update 5/3/10.
Service Circle of Spiritual Enlightenment
238.4411 541.1963; www.spiritualcircle.org
541.5502 Women’s Support/Therapy v (general)
Pro Per Divorce Workshop 534.1101
544.9313 Women’s Healthcare Specialists
Senior Legal Services 544.4883
543.5140
Women’s Community Center
PO Box 15639
San Luis Obispo, CA 93406 325

805 544-9313

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