Running head: FLEXIBLY INFLEXIBLE PARENTING

Flexibly Inflexible Parenting

Savannah Barron
The University of Memphis

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Flexibly Inflexible Parenting

Differing types of parenting styles have been linked to better self-regulation of children.
Self-regulation is the ability to control ones emotions, thought management, and overall
behavior. So obviously performing a study on this would be beneficial as a parenting tool to
better understand what type of style would best promote this kind of behavior. We learned in
class that children with higher self-regulation abilities have a higher chance at success outside of
the k-12 system. Finding a way to hone in on what creates this ideal behavior would be
beneficial long term both for the parent and the child.
Another layer of this study had to do with delving into the psychological flexibility in
select age groups. Psychological flexibility is the measure of how a person adapts to various
demands, how it is they meet those demands, if the situational demands shift perspective, and
how competing desires are balanced. Psychological flexibility ties in with how we express our
emotions and we hold those emotions. Being able to hold ones own emotions without acting on
them shows psychological flexibility and maturity.
The premise of this study was to examine the psychological flexibility of students from
grades 9 through 12 and the impact of parenting styles from grades 7 and 12 as a focus on raising
more psychologically healthy adults. Self-regulation of emotions, thoughts and behaviors is seen
as a key skill to promote positive outcomes for adolescents (Williams, Ciarrochi, & Heaven,
2012)). Parenting may bear a large contribution to a development of psychological inflexibility
and the avoidance of self-regulation strategies. A parenting style that exhibits feelings of
sadness, derogatory language, or dismissive responses to a childs emotional needs might hold
long-term effects for that child. This kind of exposure to negative emotions might teach a child
that emotional needs are less important or even shameful. On the other hand, parents who are

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aware of their feelings as well as their childs and help to engage them in problem solving skills
to fix the perceived emotional issue have significantly higher chances of developing the ability to
self-soothe.
One surprising characteristic that may affect childhood self-regulation as well as
parenting behavior is gender. As we all know society socializes boys and girls differently. Men
are taught from an early age to hold higher levels of emotional self-control because big boys
dont cry. Young women on the contrary are given from an early age more footing with
expressing their emotional needs because feelings are categorized as a feminine property.
Because of this gender will be included as a variable within the study.
Parenting doesnt always remain in the same style throughout a childs full growth.
Changing jobs or lifestyles might affect a shift in the type of parenting style that a parent utilizes.
Sometimes a style might also have to shift due to their being more emotional demand as a child
ages. For instance, there is evidence that shows as a child ages parents tend to monitor them less
and create less rule or chore setting. In another cross-sectional study, (Williams et al., 2012)
found that authoritative parenting was more frequent for children in the sixth and eighth grades
than for children in tenth grade. This doesnt go for everyone however. In some families,
parents never feel comfortable loosening the reigns and allowing children more freedom. This
can hold a negative impact on the child as it wont promote psychological flexibility with
growth.
The current study used a longitudinal study. A longitudinal study uses research from a
group collected over a long period of time. They sometimes extend for a few years but some
extend decades. This study was performed over a 6-year period on students at five Australian
schools. The students reported on their own perceptions of their psychological flexibility as well

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as how they felt about parental approaches to discipline. Modeling was also used to report a
hypothesis of variances in parenting styles. Three types of styles were measured and rather than
classifying parents into one category continuous scores were used as evidentiary support that
parents utilize more than one parenting style throughout a childs growth.
The study started with a total of 749 students. It was around 50% female and 50% male.
Due to students missing school or students moving to a different school system before grade 12,
259 students provided dates in all five waves of the study. The procedure of the study was to
invite students to participate in a survey on youth issues. The people conducting research visited
the schools each year to provide students with questionnaires to be filled out without discussion.
This was supervised either by a researcher or a teacher, afterwards students were fully briefed.
Each student participating in the survey was given a code number to be used throughout the
course of the study.
What the research found was that there were no gender-related differences between
perceived parenting style or psychological flexibility. A higher use of the authoritarian parenting
style found a correlation with a psychological inflexibility when the study was conducted among
7th graders. The study also found a correlation between higher levels of psychological flexibility
with the use of an authoritative parenting style. The study also noted a link in decrease of
psychological flexibility with age. Adolescents that reported a more dictatorial parent exhibited
lower levels of psychological flexibility but higher levels of self-regulation. Both of these styles
offer high levels of supervision for the child. The difference between the two is that an
authoritative parent provides loving support and lower levels of psychological control over the
child.

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The conclusions I drew during this research is that the more psychological control you try
to maintain over your child, the more likely it is that it will impact their ability to self-regulate
and think flexibly. The reason why I feel psychological flexibility is important is because it
helps people from feeling unstuck. Psychological flexibility is how we deal with our stress,
improve our mental well-being, and build a meaningful life over what it is we value most. Being
psychologically flexible means being in the moment and getting a clear perception of your own
thoughts and feelings, but taking them lightly. It is accepting difficult emotions, thoughts, or
events and just letting them go so that a person can move on towards a value that is more
important. An example of this would be someone who wants to enter into a competition that
holds meaning or value to them. They would need to accept difficult thoughts and emotions in
order to grapple through their journey to a goal.

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References

Williams, K., Ciarrochi, J., & Heaven, P. (2012). Inflexible parents, inflexible kids: A 6-year
longitudinal study of parenting style and the development of psychological flexibility in
adolescents. Journal of Youth & Adolescence, 41(8), 1053-1066. doi:10.1007/s10964- 012-97440

Winsor DL (2016). The Different Designs of Developmental Studies, in D.L.Winsor, V.S.

Murrell, & S. Magun-Jackson (Eds.) Lifespan development: An educational psychology
perspective (3rd ed). (pp. 12-16). New York: Pearson