Sunday Service

5/3/06
<Matthew 19:1-12>

Marriage and Divorce

• We are the ones who had already received the eternal conclusion; therefore we
need not be afraid of any temporary ironies in our lives now.
• Though we face contradictions, but once we restore the eternal perspectives by
the Spirit, we will realize that all our problems will bring us greater blessings
• The Gospel of Jesus Christ surpasses everything that is of the flesh
• E.g. the river water might be very dirty, but once it flows into the great ocean, its
dirt will not be seen, and the water will become ever clean
• Interpersonal relationship is actually the thing that gives us the most problems
and contradictions. For our whole lives, we are troubled, provoked or hurt by
people all around us.
• Why do we want to suffer pains by wanting to stand in front of men? We should
live our lives by standing before the Lord.
• We are being sent to this Earth just like how Jesus was sent. Therefore, we must
receive blessings from all forms of relationships and become the source of
blessings to all people. From there, the greatest blessings will come.
• Amongst all the relationships, the spousal relationship is the most important

Read <Matthew 19:1-12>

v3 Men of the world usually test us with worldly things that are of little importance.
Thus, if we are viewing things from outside the world perspective (i.e. eternal
perspective), we will not fall into temptation at all
v5 “the two will become one flesh” → the heart, soul, mind, body and everything
else must become one
v6 Marriages are joined by God
v8 “…hearts were hard” → not submissive to God’s will
v9 when Jesus mentioned “divorces”, He doesn’t just mean signing on the legal
documents. When two persons are staying together, they are deemed to be
husband & wife
v12 “some are eunuchs because they were born that way” → they have inherited
great spiritual problems even before they were born because it contradicts
God’s law of Creation. This happen because men has separated from God –
these pple must know God
“… others were made that way by men” → they cannot enjoy spousal
relationship because of problems in their hearts and spirits. They are usually
sexually hurt, emotionally or physically in past – these people must be healed
by the gospel
“… others have renounced marriage (or have made themselves eunuchs)” →
they want to stay single for the Kingdom of God – these people are the most
blessed

• Spousal relationships are the most impt of all relationships. In fact, all
 relationships come from the spousal relationship between Adam and Eve.
Therefore, the restoration of all relationships comes from the restoration of
spousal relationship.
• As a spousal relationship is the closest unity of 2 people, a person can only truly
enjoy his other relationships if he enjoys his spousal relationship, (or at least he
receives answers amidst the ironies of his spousal relationship).
• Comparing to this era, there are much lesser problems between husband and wife
in the past, say, 200-300yrs ago.
• There are increasingly complicated problems in the relationship between husband
and wife and 30-40% of the population are facing marriage problems
• Since men left God, they cannot control but feel loss and empty easily. Therefore,
they love easily and part easily. Therefore, this is an increasing problem in this era
with more than 50% divorce rates in the western countries and 30-40% in the
Asia countries.
• Therefore, we cannot rigidly impose God’s principle to all people but instead, we
must find the most perfect will and answer from God for people in each and
different spousal situation.
• In any situation or problem, God has His most beautiful plans for His loved ones
• Be it you are married, single, about to marry or about to divorce/part, everything
will have God’s wonderful plan. And there are always answers in your current
situation.

1. The Principles for Marriage (it is determined by God, our Creator)

• Marriage must be between one man and one woman. Not one man to one
man or one woman to one woman or one man/woman to many others
• The two must become one flesh. Therefore, one cannot separate the two
• The purpose of marriage is to grow in numbers and become a blessing to the
nation
• Marriages are joined by God. Thus, nobody should separate any marriages
• God’s principle for those who had already divorce is not to marry again
• Those who are determined to discover God’s perfect will based upon these
God-given principles are most blessed
• However, in reality, couples will surely face problems in their marriages.
Therefore, we must seek God’s plan and peace amongst all these problems.
The above principles are no doubt determined by God. Thus, we cannot
remove/disregard them but we must always be able to find out God’s perfect
and beautiful will in each and every spousal situation.
• We should not use God’s mercy/compassion on us to make it a reason for us
to treat marriage a trivial matter. God look at marriages of utmost importance,
so we should look at it this way too
• How should we blend God’s absolute principles in our ever-changing situation?
• First of all, we must look at God’s principle: The Ten Commandments
• This is something nobody can admonish. However, God is in a dilemma in
terms of His righteousness and love but as He is God, He has the most perfect
answer to it.
• God’s righteousness will not be in conflict with His love / mercy
• God says “you shall not steal”, but He saved the robber who was nailed on the
cross next to Jesus
• God says “you shall not commit adultery”, but He saved and heal the woman
who had five husband and Jesus Christ had set free the woman, whom others
 had caught her committing adultery
• Look at the genealogy / family tree of Jesus Christ, as recorded in <Matthew
1>
• Not all the people listed there are righteous people (in man’s standard). In
fact, some have promiscuous background.
• Some examples are Tamar, Rahab, Ruth
• And look at David. In the Bible, it was recorded “David was the father of
Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah’s wife”. David had taken the wife of
his general to be his own and even killed Uriah for her. But all these lead to
the birth of Jesus Christ
• Jesus doesn’t come with the noblest background and those He mixed around
with are all sinners. And he bled and died at the end of His life on earth. This is
God’s emphasis to us.
• Therefore, on top of God’s absolute principle, we must understand the mercy
of God
• But how does God’s mercy comes?
• Before a person has received the Holy Spirit or is born again, all his
wrongdoings will be forgiven by God when he accepts Christ. He will receive
the full mercy of God.
• But after a person is born again, has salvation, and had received the showers
of God’s love, and strength of the Holy Spirit, it is not right for him to keep on
sinning, e.g committing “adultery” and “killing”. He is responsible to see that
he is right in front of God. He should feel pain because of his sins.
• This is where the righteousness and mercy of God will come in at the same
time.
• We must understand this truth in order to have answer to the dilemma of
marriages

2. Marriage
1) A man and a woman
• Look at Abraham & Sarah. They started with a very blissful marriage but
problems come when Hagar comes into the picture even when Hagar was
given to Abraham by Sarah herself.
• No husband and wife are able to accept a third party because this is
against the will of God. If not, God would have created two Eve for Adam
or two Adam for Eve. This is the principle put in men’s life when they are
created.
• Another example would be David
• His family problems (his son turn against him and children turn against
each other) come when he had taken Uriah’s wife to be his 2 nd wife.
Although David is still very blessed, but he will need to pay the price on
earth for going against God’s principle by having a 2 nd wife. This is
because of Satan’s blasphemy and accusation before God.

2) Two will become one flesh

• A single man or a single woman is not complete by himself/herself
• If a person feels that he/she is always right and is complete, then he/she
needs not get married at all
• Husband and wife are there to complement each other
• Only through complementing, they can become one, they can edify each
 other, get healed, and spur each other on. Complementing is the only
method to achieve blissfulness in a marriage and it’s what God
determines.
• If a couple does not get this principle right, the longer they stay together,
the more they will not be able to stand each other
• If a couple does not become one flesh, they will have quarrels over almost
everything
• Two become one flesh means to know each other. To know each other is
the only method for a successful marriage
• A couple will be most blissful when the two of them know each other (i.e.
to be connected in body, mind and spirit)
• If you do not work towards knowing each other, the more knowledge you
learn about marriage, the more it will become the things which you will
use to accuse each other

3) Receiving inheritance together

• Abraham and Sarah are to become the father and mother of all nations
together.
• If you were to look at the arguments between a husband and wife, it often
circles round insignificant things
• In fact, argument comes from a person’s motives. When a couple has lots
of personal motives in their marraige, the love between them will become
very shallow
• We can only look beyond the imperfection in a person/marriage by looking
at the “Four Gospelizations”.
• A person can only receive the Five Great Power (五大能力) and blissfulness
after he had acquired the Four Gospelizations
• The things that this world requires from us will make us fall. Therefore, we
must focus on what God is asking from us and live our marriage life with
God-determined purpose. Only then will the world be unable to intrude the
marriage.
• We suffer because we refuse to believe that real blissfulness will come
only when I am living for God’s Kingdom. Of course, we cannot be changed
immediately. But we must live our marriages for the Kingdom according to
the faith given us.
• When we slowly shift our concerns towards God’s work and our
brothers/sisters in Christ, we will have less time to quarrel over what to
eat, where to shop, what to enjoy, etc. But all these things will naturally
come. It will be added unto us for the Kingdom of God. This is true
inheritance
• E.g. When I am busy preparing the message for SSG, my spouse will
naturally do the housework without any complaints.
• E.g. When maintaining blissfulness at home (i.e. family gospelization)
become my goal, I will naturally speak with gentleness to my spouse.
• When our focus is correct, God will prepare everything else nicely for us,
both to reward us and for the glory of His kingdom.
• If we look at the super stars from Hollywood, they come together and part
easily. They always say that they love each other, thus get together but
when they leave each other, they say their love for each other has ended.
• Our relationship shouldn’t be based on love alone. It is beyond love
 because we will share the same destiny. I might love my wife today when
she treats me well but I will not love her tomorrow when she ill treats me.
Can anyone live on guaranteed love without God’s purpose in it?

4) Arranged by God, therefore man cannot separate it by their own will

• Everyone treat marriage with utmost importance in their lives. No one will
say they can just marry anyone. Therefore, before one enters into a
marriage, there are bound to be commitment from either side, and this is
definitely arranged by God.
• And what’s more, if today, you are the blessed child of God, how much
would your eternal Father put great importance in your marriage?
Therefore, marriage (the unity of two people) is definitely prepared,
arranged, pre-determined by God.
• We must understand (明白) and accept (接纳) this before we can see God’s
work in our marriage.
• We must reconcile with God using this principle before we can receive
answers and God’s perfect will in each and every conflict in a marriage.

Divorce
• Our church will neither support nor pray for any case of divorce from within
the congregation because it is God’s principle that nobody should divorce
• Normally, those who wants to divorce will have tons of reasons for doing so
• However, we must examine if those reasons discovered are from God or not
• If you really belong to Jesus Christ, you must first believe that the person
whom you had married is definitely arranged and planned by God. It happens
in God’s perfect will
• Then you must die and resurrect with Jesus Christ and not look at the
marriage situation alone. Then you must receive the help of the Holy Spirit to
restore your marriage, and then wait and see how God is working
• A lot of people who wanted a divorce cannot have a clear view of their
marriage in the state of walking with God
• In other words, they do not pray correctly
• In the process of considering a divorce, have we walk with God and submit to
Him?

1) Where should we place our efforts (concentration prayers)?

• Our efforts should not be placed in seeking a lawyer quickly or trying all
sorts of methods to save the marriage
• Our efforts should be placed in seeking Immanuel, receiving double
blessings and willing to die and resurrect to ourselves and to our
expectation of the marriage.
• Do not look at your spouse yet. Only seek to get closer to God
• If we do not have this heart, all the decisions and actions will be coming
from yourselves
• You must receive strength, comfort, love, peacefulness, joy from the God
who Himself love you and prepare all good things for u.
• You must become a person who will love and willing to submit to God first
• The grace of Immanuel will surpass the flesh and only Immanuel will able
to surpass the pains of broken marriage
2) Power of the Holy Spirit
• We can only examine and renew ourselves after we’d acquire power.
• After we acquire power, we’ll be able to turn over our hatred,
disappointment, even changing ourselves, changing our perspectives of
the marriage, etc.
• God’s intention is never to use his principle to crush marriages, i.e. to give
us concession for divorce if adultery is committed by one party.
• The hearts of the Israelites are hard everyday but God is still
compassionate over them. In prophet Hosea era, God even asked Hosea to
marry a prostitute, and to love her as his own.
• Therefore, God’s intention in a marriage is for us to love, forgive, accept
each other “seventy seven” times.
• Remember: It is not a matter of whether we want to live with our spouse
but how do we want to live our whole lives. With what kind of life do we
want to use to stand before God? Can our problems be solved once
divorced? Many a times, those who divorce for the sake of divorce enters
into similar problems in their next marriage. This is because this is a
spiritual problem, not a marriage problem. Therefore, if you really
considering a divorce, you must not look at parting with your spouse first.
You must ponder whether you will be able to live peacefully in the Lord
after the divorce

3) If even after you’d restored Immanuel, willing to renew yourself, love and
submit to the Lord even more and really wish to save the marriage, but still
cannot stand living together with your spouse, you should get separated first
and pray once again

4) Definitely need to be slow and be driven. Let God work. The Bible also said: if
the unbelieving husband/wife wants to leave you, let him/her do so.

5) If all the above are done but the marriage still cannot be saved, then you
should resolute to stay single forever after the divorce
• You cannot seek a divorce because you want to get freed from that
marriage legally so as to enter into another marriage. This is a total
adulterous heart and will be disciplined greatly.

Already Divorced
• Do not get married again, and be set free fully from the bondages of
marriages.
• We’ve to understand what is marriage?
• Marriage is not just about signing the legal documents. It is about two become
one flesh
• God will be extra merciful over those who had already divorced and wanted to
remain single. God will also be more gracious over his/her children, needs, etc
• And God is faithful, he will also provide a way out for them to overcome their
temptations
• God said that He is the Lord of the widows and orphans
• The only condition is that that person must rely on God alone, wholeheartedly.
• Therefore, for those who are already divorced:

1) Let Jesus Christ will become his/her eternal husband. However, temptation will
 come. Thus, he/she must:

2) Live a church centered life. Live a life of vision. They are able to bring lots of
blessings to the church and the church will also bless them greatly

3) 90% of their ministries should be placed on the children. Pray for the children
and teach them. Heal them of their ironies because of the parents’ broken
marriage.

4) Must be freed from that wound and receive the historical answer to bless and
help many others who had similar situations.

3. In all things God works for the good of those who love Him
• Everything happened for your ‘goodness’ if you are indeed loved by God
• Therefore, do not think of doing this or that first, but love God first. Only those
who love God will see the goodness that comes along with each and every
situation.
• Before you do anything, you must love God and submit to Him first and all His
goodness will be revealed to you and be enjoyed by you.
• God’s will for us is not to be regretful over anything but to forget the past and
strain on towards ahead and live our life as how God wants us to live.
• Therefore, do not attempt to change anything purposely but remain in that
situation and make the best out of it.
• In that current situation, rely more on God and discover His will; with that
current situation, renew ourselves, with that current situation, use it for the
kingdom; in that current situation, receive answers for blessing others,… that,
itself is loving God and submitting to God.
• Such a person will see the full love and blessings of God coming upon him all
his life.
• Is there any problem too big to be resolved if a person is really relying the
great power of the Gospel?
• <1 Corinthians 7:24, 7:29> You must live by having a perspective on the
Kingdom of God, and this itself lay the answers to all current ironies in our
marriages.

Prayer & Sharing Topics

1. What is my current marital status (single, not married yet, married,

divorced)? Did I receive a definite answer from God for my current
martial status and give thanks for it? No matter what status I am in right
now, have I acquired the answers to “all things work for my good”?
Ponder and renew.

2. Members who are married. Discover:

a) the good things about my spouse or what benefits have I received
because of my spouse (list down at least five)
b) things/areas I must complement him/her (list down at least five)
c) what prayer topics should I improve upon in order to make my
spousal relationship and family more blessed? And which areas must
I be renewed too (without expecting my spouse to be renewed first)?
3. Members who had determined to stay single forever
a) Test and confirm: How does my eternal husband, Jesus Christ
carefully protect, take care and provide all my needs?
b) and discover: how can I live a God driven church centered life and a
congregation centered life more efficiently to glorify God and to
benefit others?

4. Members who are going to get married

a) Paint the pictures of “a most blissful marriage life” and “the
expectation of the spouse God had arranged for me” by grabbing
hold of the vision of the four Gospelisations
b) Commit it to the Lord fully by prayers. Live a church and
congregation centered life and follow God’s guidance