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Aaron Lemon
The Best Of
Aaron Lemon
FOREWORD
FOREWORD by Jamie Redknapp
Jamie Redcap away for a few minutes or in some cases weeks in all fairness.
The work falls into two categories, it says here in these notes I’ve been given: “Some images, like
the eponymous Aaron Lemon, delight in the raw superimposition of incongruous images whose very
shoddiness of presentation constitutes much of their hilarity.” Others are more polished, literally,
while some images, such as Terry Butcher, haven’t been added to at all. As someone once said -
probably Shakespeare again no doubt - “If variety is the spice of life, I’ll have the Chicken Jalfrezi.”
But above all, this collection says something about footballers, which are a subject I know a certain
amount about, having been fortunate to have been one myself for a fair few years, barring injury.
Players take a lot of stick at times – literally - but at the end of the day they’re decent lads who just
like a bit of fun, whether they find it playing, roasting, pursuing a quiet career in the media, or out
walking a dog with the head of Des Lynam. If this book goes some way to getting that message
across, then it won’t, ironically, have been a waste of time.
Cheers!
Aaron Lemon
Giuseppe Mascara Cesc Fibreglass
Owen Half-Greaves
Jimmy Grieves
Thierry Henry
Sotirios Carry-Argos
David Bentley
Ricardo Car-value
Nigel Rio-Choker
Clarence Sleigh-dwarf
Grincha
Melée
Diego Madonna
Bobby Carlton Bobby Mwaor!
Michel Plateeny
Van delay Luxembourg – oh! Lars Lagerback
Dino’s off!
Roberto Mankini
Dick Avocado
Aussie Ardiles German Defoe
Andrei Can-Chelskis
Sinisa Me-hail-a-witch
Geordie Cruyff Johann Crufts
Des Walker
Javier Her-nan-Des
Luis Boa More-tea?
Pascal Chimphonda
Phil Jaggy Elk, aargh!
Bastian Swine’s-tiger
Bruce Gobble-argh!
Temuri Cats-buyer
Karel Po-Borg-Ski
Julien Faux-bear
Celestial Baby, arrow Marcus Bubble
Lionel Messy
Sean Write-Phillips
Frank de Bore
Denis Borg-camp
Naani
Alessandro Delpy-Aero
Jimmy Carr’s Suburban Toff
Gabriel Ubertan
Chavy
Jorge Camp-pose
The Kevin Nolan Sisters Esther-fan Cambiaso
Nyron Notworthy
Andrei Arse-shavin’ Mark van Bum-Mel
Shag a Hislop
Carlos Defiled-a-llama
George Gayram
Dean Windass Tim Gayhill
Tom Hubble-Throne
Marc Overmars
Obafemi’s Martians
Pierluigi (Hadron) Collida
Trevor Sink-Lair & Danny Higgs-Boson
Alain Boom-song
Younes Kaboom
Joely on Les cut
Less Ferdinand
Ronnie Wallwork
Silvain Distant
Georgitoss Some-Arabs
Cruella Neville
Neil Warlock
Ken Monk-cow
Ryan Babel
Mark Kin-seller
Silvain Wheel-tard
Adrian Moo Two
Martin Lol
“If“If you’relooking
you’re looking for
forterrible
terriblepuns, thisthis
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book do citric.”
will really - Arsene-Wenger
do citric.” Arsene Wenger
“Skill. Creativity. Technique. And when you talk about commitment...unbelievable.” – Alan Hansen
“Skill. Creativity. Technique. And when you talk about commitment...unbelievable.”
“Su’agoaws.” – Frank Lampard – Alan Hansen
“Su’agoaws.” – Frank Lampard
“Quite the “Quite
amusingthe
coffee-table
amusingread.” – Nick 0208
coffee-table Ldn – Nick 0208 Ldn
read.”
“There are absolutely no copyright issues here – and you can quote me on that.” - Mike Up North
“There are absolutely no copyright issues with this book – and you can quote me on that.”
“Hey, wasn’t this, like, my idea?” – Evan Dando - Mike Up North
“Hey…wasn’t this, like, my idea?” – Evan Dando
“I’m finding it hard to read.” – Aaron Lemon
“I’m finding it hard to read.” – Aaron Lemon