Social System:

An Islamic society is the society whose members have faith in Islam, apply its laws in their life,
abide by its moral standards of love, brotherhood, equality, mercy, and trust, performing religious
duties and abstaining from doing what is unlawful.
In a true Islamic society, drinking alcohol, practising usury, dressing immodestly, deceiving each
other, giving or taking bribes, injustice, violating others rights, are all avoided and prohibited.
Even when the society is so-called Muslim but in it people discard Islam and commit unlawful
acts publicly without the slightest feeling of shame, and no power or authority exists to deter
them, this society cannot be considered an Islamic one. What matters is the lifestyle and system
they adopt, not the name they call it.

Principles of the Social System:

The social system in Islam is based on ties and relationships which draw Muslims close together
and organise their lives. They include:

1. Love and loyalty among the faithful

Allah, the Most Glorified, says:

Surely the faithful are but brothers... Holy Qur'an (49:10)

And the faithful men and women, are friends of each other... Holy Qur'an (9:71)

2. Respecting the rights of the individual and the group, both having mutual
rights and duties towards each other.
3. Islamic society is built on right, justice, and mutual kindness.
Allah, the Exalted, says:

Surely Allah bids to justice, benevolence and giving to relatives, and He forbids
indecency, evil and transgression. He exhorts you so that you may remember.
Holy Qur'an (16:90)

4. The bond of unity and co-operation

Allah, the Compassionate, says:

...cooperate (with each other) for righteousness and cooperate not in sin and
enmity...Holy Qur'an (5:2)and
In every aspect of life, the members of an Islamic society cooperate wholeheartedly with each
other. For example, in building mosques and schools, helping the needy, fighting oppression,
establishing economic, social and cultural associations, are all forms of co-operation within the
society.

5. Maintaining good morals

It is another significant principle of the social system in Islam. Honesty, sacrifice, mercy,
sympathy, love, faithfulness, keeping ties with near kin, respecting neighbours, and being kind
and gentle to others, are factors which consolidate a society and gladden its members. They
become serene and free from worries and pressures. There is no sadness.
It is our responsibility to form an Islamic society and keep it safe from subversive and corrupt
elements by means of enjoining good and forbidding evil.

Rights of Parents in Islam:

Allah (Glory and Greatness be to Him) says in Hadith al-Qudsi: I swear by My Glory and
power that if a (child who is) disobedient to his parents comes to me with all the good deeds
of all the prophets, I will not accept them from him.

Although our existence is from Allah (Glory and Greatness be to Him), it is our parents who
are the means of giving us life. We are an offshoot of their existence and a fruit of the garden
of their unparalleled affection, training, love and sentiments. When the forgetful human being
grows up to become big and strong and comes to acquire a certain credibility (in life), he
forgets the period wherein he was weak and lacking in strength. He disregards the exhaustive
efforts of his parents; what ingratitude could be worse than this?
Humanity and ethics demand that we safeguard these two jewels (our mother and father) - by
exhibiting goodness towards them while they are alive, and by means of charity and goodly
remembrance after their death.
Our lives are an extension of our parent's lives while our children's lives are a continuation of

ours. Our good behavior towards our parents and our exhibition of kindness towards them shall
cause our children to grow up as grateful and righteous individuals. They shall behave with us
just as we have behaved with our own parents.
Just as it is beyond our means to fulfill the rights of Allah (Glory and Greatness be to Him) and
to thank Him for all His bounties in their entirety, similarly we can never thank our parents
sufficiently for their efforts. The only thing that we can do is to acknowledge our inability and
submit ourselves, in humility and reverence, before these two angels. However, comprehension
of their status in the eyes of Allah (Glory and Greatness be to Him) paves the way to fulfill
some of their numerous rights.
Why so much emphasis on the rights of Parents? (Status of Parents in Islam, Rights of
Parents)
Here is a point to ponder over: We do not find in Noble Qur'an and Hadith so much emphasis
on looking after the children as is the case with the rights of the parents. Why?
The Sharia (Islamic law) has put a new challenge to those who think. Find out how logical this
attitude is. The fact is that the parent's heart is the fountain-head of the love for the child; this
affection becomes the life-blood of the parents. Noble Qur'an has alluded to this instinctive
parental love in several places.
On the other hand, children especially when they are no longer in need of parental care, do not
feel so much love for the parents. We are not speaking about respect. Here the talk is about
instinctive love; and experience is a reliable witness to confirm this observation.
It is a known fact that sign-posts are not needed on straight highways; but at a cross-road
where several routes branch out, one cannot expect to get onto the right path without a guide or
a sign-post.
It is for this reason that Islam does not emphasize in so many words those aspects of life which
are taken care of by human nature itself. It is where the hold of natural instinct is loosened that
Islam extends its helping hand and leads man on the right path by telling him what he is
expected to do.
It was for this reason that Islam did not explain the rights of children so forcefully; but full
emphasis was given to the rights of the parents.

Disrespect towards Father

Hazrat Yusuf / Prophet Joseph (as) after suffering much calamities and difficulties became the
governor of Egypt. His father Hazrat Yaqub / Prophet Jacob (as) who lamented for him for
many years of separation became frail and weak.

After he got the news that Hazrat Yusuf (as) is alive and has become the governor of Egypt, he
became overjoyed and started his journey to meet him. Hazrat Yusuf (as) also with much
fanfare went ahead on the outskirts of the city on his horse to welcome his father.
When Hazrat Yusuf (as) saw the sorrowful eyes of his father he wanted to get down from his
horse in respect, but, his status as a governor of Egypt, did not allow him to alight. It was a
disrespectful action towards his father. After the meeting between the father and the son,
Gabriel/ Hazrat Jibril (as) ascended by the order of Allah (SWT), came towards Hazrat Yusuf
(as) and asked him: "Why did you not get down from your horse while welcoming your
father?"
"Open your palm," demanded Gabriel/ Hazrat Jibril (as).
When Hazrat Yusuf (as) did so, a light came out from his palm and went towards heaven.
Hazrat Yusuf (as) asked Gabriel/ Hazrat Jibril (as): "What was this light which has come out of
my hand?"
Gabriel/ Hazrat Jibril (as) replied: "This light was of prophethood which was taken away from
your progeny for showing disrespect by you towards your father. Now there won't be any
prophet from your offspring." (Biharul Anwaar, Vol.4)
When our father irritate us? (Rights of Parents in Islam, Muslim Parent Rights, Rights of
Parents)
An old man was sitting in the courtyard of his house along with his son who had received a
high education. Suddenly a crow perched on a wall of the house. The father asked the son:
What is this? The son replied: It is a crow. After a little while the father again asked the son:
What is this? The son said: It is a crow.
After a few minutes the father asked his son the third time: What is this? The son said: Father, I
have just now told you that this is a crow. After a little while the old father again asked his son
the fourth time: what is this? By this time some statement of irritation was felt in the son's tone
when he rebuffed his father: Father! It is a crow, a crow. A little after the father again asked his
son: What is this? This time the son replied to his father with a vein of temper. Father: You are
always repeating the same question; although I have told you so many times that it is a crow.
Are you not able to understand this?
The father went to his room and came back with an old diary. Opening a page he asked his son
to read what was written. What the son read were the following words written in the diary:
'Today my little son was sitting with me in the courtyard, when a crow came there. My son
asked me twenty-five times what it was and I told him twenty-five times that it was a crow and
I did not at all feel irritated. I rather felt affection for my innocent child.'

The father then explained to his son the difference between a father's and a son's attitude.
While you were a little child you asked me this question twenty-five times and I felt no
irritation in replying to the question twenty-five times and when today I asked you the same
question only five times, you felt irritated, annoyed and impatient with me.
Allah (Glory and Greatness be to Him) mentions in Noble Qur'an:
"And your Lord has commanded that you shall not serve (any) but Him, and goodness to your
parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) "Ugh"
nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word. And make yourself submissively gentle to
them with compassion, and say: O my Lord! Have compassion on them, as they brought me up
(when I was) little." Noble Qur'an (17:23-24)
Imam Zainul Abideen (pbuh) says: "It is also said that once a man came to the Holy Prophet
Muhammad (pbuh) and asked: "I feed my parents, carry them on my back and clean them,
have I fulfilled my duty towards them? The Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) answered: No,
because, you are serving them in anticipation for their death while they served you wishing you
a long life".
Importance of parents extract from Maulana Sadiq Hassan's speech (Disobedience to
parents)
It was a time when the outskirt of Makkah was not safe, full of robbers and thieves. An Indian
prince, who carried his life savings (precious gem stones) in a pouch, had to leave Makkah. He
had to leave his savings with someone otherwise he would be looted. Indian prince was told
about an Iranian sheikh named Abdul Tahir Khorasani, who lived in Makkah, a very
trustworthy and pious Momin (Believer in the Divine Laws). The Indian prince left his Amanat
(safe custody) with the Iranian sheikh, Abdul Tahir Khorasani. When the Indian prince returned
he found out that the Iranian sheikh, Abdul Tahir Khorasani had passed away. The Iranian
sheikh, Abdul Tahir Khorasani's family members brought out a box and asked him if his
Amanat was in it, however the Indian prince could not see his pouch. The Amanat was so
valuable that the Iranian sheikh, Abdul Tahir Khorasani did not even trust his own family
members with it and he kept its location secret. The Indian prince was upset, because the
Amanat was his life savings.
The Indian prince then thought maybe it would be worth going to Wadi-e-Salaam in Najaf,
Iraq, where the pious souls are sent to, he may see the Iranian sheikh, Abdul Tahir Khorasani
and ask him about his Amanat. The Indian prince went to Najaf, Iraq, he would spend most of
the day at Wadi-e-Salaam for three weeks but he did not meet the Iranian sheikh, Abdul Tahir
Khorasani. One day a man from Najaf, Iraq chatted to him and suggested that maybe he should
try Wadi-e-Barhoot in Yemen where souls are sent for punishment. The Indian prince reached
Wadi-e-Barhoot, and called out for the Iranian sheikh, Abdul Tahir Khorasani. He saw a person
coming towards him who was burned from head to toe. The Indian prince got scared and called
for the Iranian sheikh, Abdul Tahir Khorasani again, the burnt person said I am Abdul Tahir

Khorasani. The Indian prince was shocked and said you, such a pious Momin, why are you
getting this harsh punishment?
The Iranian sheikh, Abdul Tahir Khorasani replied, after my death I got a message from Allah
(Glory and Greatness be to Him) that the reward for all my good deeds is that on the day of
judgement I would be raised with the prophets and my face would shine like the moon.
However I have three sins which Allah (Glory and Greatness be to Him) will not forgive and
that is why I am being punished. I was told that you loved the Holy Kaaba and doing worship
(al-Ibada) so much that you migrated to Makkah, and you forgot your old parents who needed
you? I replied that I used to send money every month for maintenance. But parents are those
who want their children not their children's money.
The Iranian sheikh, Abdul Tahir Khorasani continued. Once in a gathering I insulted an Aalim.
And once I gave Khums to a person who did not deserve it. These three sins Allah (Glory and
Greatness be to Him) will not tolerate and will not forgive. The Iranian sheikh, Abdul Tahir
Khorasani then told the Indian prince where his Amanat was hidden.
Moral: Today we live in a 'global village', where it takes seconds for news to reach from one
end of the world to the other end. Yet how sad that people doesn't care and don't ask about their
parents or relatives. So close yet so far. What is then the point of this 'global village'? This is a
sin (Gunaah) that Allah (Glory and Greatness be to Him) will not forgive. So teach your
children this message, not just through words but through your own actions. Teach them the
value of parents through your actions.
Ahadith regarding Aaq-e-Waledain (Disobedience to parents) (Importance of parents)
The Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) says: "Beware! Abstain from angering the parents. The
fragrance of Paradise is perceived even at a distance of a thousand years, but those who are
disobedient to parents and those who cut off ties with relatives will not be able to smell it."
The Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) says: "One who displeases the parents, (it is as if) he has
displeased Allah (Glory and Greatness be to Him). One who angers both (mother and father)
his parents (it is as if) he has angered Allah (Glory and Greatness be to Him)."
Elsewhere, it is mentioned, "One who hurts his parents, hurts me and one who hurts me has
hurt Allah (Glory and Greatness be to Him). And the one who hurts Allah (Glory and Greatness
be to Him) is accursed."
The Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) has also stated: "Allah (Glory and Greatness be to Him)
will not speak to three kinds of people on the day of judgement. Neither will He have mercy
upon them, nor will He purify their sins. There is for them a horrible chastisement. The three
types of people are the believers in destiny, the drunkards and those who disobeyed their
parents."

The wretchedness of the Aaq-e-Waledain is sufficiently evident from the fact that the
trustworthy Jibreel (pbuh) has cursed him and said, "One who is blessed with parents but does
not fulfill their (his parent's) rights will not be forgiven (his sins) by Allah (Glory and
Greatness be to Him)."
When Jibreel (pbuh) said this, The Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) uttered, 'Amen'!
Imam Jafar Sadiq (pbuh) said, "Accursed, Accursed is the one who beats his parents. Accursed
is the one who distresses his parents."
Imam Jafar Sadiq (pbuh) said, "Allah (Glory and Greatness be to Him) will not accept the
Namaz of the person who stares angrily at his parents. Even though they (parents) may be
unjust."
May Allah (Glory and Greatness be to Him) grant us the Divine success that we may come be
regarded amongst those who have been good towards their parents. "O' Allah! Make us such
that we may be grateful for the efforts of our parents." "O' Allah! Make us successful in
bringing forth a generation of pure-hearted, believing, grateful and righteous
individuals." Forty Ahadith on Parents

Responsibilities of parents:
Parents responsibilities for the care and upbringing of their children are mentioned in several
verses of the Quran, as well as in the Hadeeth.
Allah Almighty Says (what means): O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your
families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones" [Quran 66:6]
How do we ward off that fire from our families? We need to show to them the right way and to
teach them the difference between right and wrong. An excellent example of this is found in the
words of Luqmaan to his son, related in the Quran, where he admonishes him:
1. Not to ascribe divine powers to anything other than Allah.
2. To be good and kind to parents.
3. To obey parents unless they command what is wrong.
4. To understand that all our deeds, however minor, are recorded and will be brought to light.
5. To be constant in prayer.
6. To enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong.
7. To bear what befalls him with patience.
8. To avoid pride, arrogance and boastfulness.
9. To be modest in manner and speech.

This is a model example of parental responsibility and advice. Luqmaan guides his own son on
the path to paradise with simple but memorable words.
Children are a trust given to the parents. Parents will be held accountable for this trust on the
Day of Judgment. Parents are essentially responsible for the moral, ethical and the basic and
essential religious teachings of their children.
If parents fulfill this responsibility, they will be free of the consequences on the Day of
Judgment. The children will become better citizens and a pleasure to the eyes of their parents,
first in this life, and in the Hereafter.
Allah, Almighty Says (what means): And those who believed and whose descendants followed
them in faith We will join with them their descendants, and We will not deprive them of
anything of their deeds. Every person, for what he earned, is retained... [Quran 52:21]
This parental responsibility belongs not only to the father. The Prophet
is reported to have
said: "Take care! Each of you is a shepherd and each of you shall be asked concerning his flock;
a leader is a shepherd of his people, and he shall be asked concerning his flock; and a man is a
shepherd of the people of his house, and he shall be asked concerning his flock; and a woman is
a shepherd of the house of her husband and over their children, and she shall be asked
concerning them. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Indeed the mothers role may be even greater: while the children are young they are very close to
her and dependent upon her, and they spend more time with her than with anyone else. There is
an Arabic saying: The mother is the first school. She may be a good school, an indifferent or
even a bad school. She may even be unaware that she is serving as a role model in her behavior,
and her attitudes. Every mother should be conscious of her role and do her best to make it
beneficial for the development of her children as they set out on the journey of life.
Parental care and guidance are fundamental to child upbringing. Some parents nowadays become
so preoccupied with their jobs or with making money or with their social lives that children are
often neglected. They may be ignored or left for hours with the television or computer or they
may be sent to day-care centers at a very early age to be cared for in groups by other people.
The parents right to respect from their children is dependent upon the childrens right to loving
care and guidance of their parents.
It is related that a man once came to Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, the second Khaleefah (Caliph) of
Islam, may Allah be pleased with him, complaining of his sons disobedience to him. Umar
summoned the boy and spoke of his disobedience to his father and his neglect of his rights. The
boy replied: O Ameer al-Mumineen (Prince of believers)! Hasnt a child rights over his
father?
Certainly, replied Umar.
What are they, Ameer al-Mumineen?
That he should choose his mother, give him a good name and teach him the Book (the Quran).
O Ameer al-Mumineen! My father did nothing of this. My mother was a Magian (fire

worshipper). He gave me the name of Julalaan (meaning dung beetle or scarab) and he did not
teach me a single letter of the Quran.
Turning to the father, Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, said: You have come to me to
complain about the disobedience of your son. You have failed in your duty to him before he has
failed in his duty to you; you have done wrong to him before he has wronged you.
Education and bringing up in Islam
Allah Almighty Says (what means): This day I have perfected for you your religion and
completed My favor upon you and have approved for you Islam as religion..." [Quran 5: 3]
Education is the process by which children are nurtured as they grow up to develop the Islamic
worldview and the Islamic virtues.
Education means to look after, to nurture, to nourish, to help grow and flourish. It implies certain
sensitivity towards the child under your care, his emotional and physical needs and capacities. It
implies the ability to inspire confidence. It implies the courage to allow and promote creativity
and innovation. It implies the ability to trust and not to stifle, to be firm when needed and even to
impose sanctions when necessary.
The starting point for education is the example of parents. Small children take their parents as
models. If parents are lazy and careless, the children will also take laziness and carelessness as
normal. If they tell lies, children will regard lying as normal and acceptable. The same applies to
smoking, drinking, rude manners, swearing and all other bad habits. There is no way parents can
motivate their children to practice the Islamic virtues if they themselves do not respect the values
and try to practice them also. As children grow up, they will only perceive the inconsistency or
even hypocrisy in their parents approach.
It is important not to crush a childs spirit and joy about life by terrorizing him/her, whether
physically or psychologically. Children must play. It is the way they learn, and is not in itself
something bad. Parents should give the child opportunities to play and to experience the
excitement of exploration, of learning and of growing up.
At the same time, parents should teach children Islamic manners and etiquette in accordance
with the beautiful example of the Prophet

Such habits include truthfulness and honesty, gentleness, politeness, consideration for others,
helpfulness, cleanliness and tidiness.
They also include:
1. Time management and doing things at the right time.
2. Physical exercise for fitness.
3. Mental exercise and developing an appetite for knowledge, understanding and skills.
4. Learning to read and recite the Quran from an early age when the childs memory finds it
easy.
5. Development of regular performance of Prayer between the ages of 7 and 10.

6. Taking on responsibilities in the family.

7. Taking on responsibilities in the wider community as children grow up.
Above all, correct education should ensure that children develop a love for Islam, a love for
Allah and His Prophet
and that they develop a feeling of pride in being Muslim and
willingness to strive for the good of others. They need to realize the benefits of Islam, the
foundations on which it is based and their need for Islam. They need to value Islam and live by
Islamic values.
It is the responsibility of the parents to experiment with various ways of achieving those goals.
Islamic education and Muslim schools
If parents are to get the best results for their children in Muslim schools, they must know what
the Muslim school is trying to do. Parents need to understand that while the school basically may
be following a National Curriculum (which in some countries may be compulsory), the teaching
approach is expected to be holistic. Therefore it is not just a matter of teaching Islamic Studies,
Quran and Arabic under the same roof as Arts and Sciences, but of developing an integrated
Islamic perspective on all forms of knowledge right across the curriculum. At the same time, the
school is trying to cultivate good attitudes, behavior and manners in accordance with the
teachings of Islam.
'Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her, is reported to have said of the Prophet

that: His

behavior was the Quran (in practice). [Ahmad] To take the Prophet
as a beautiful
example means not just to imitate his outward actions or practices but also to base our own
motivation and actions on the Quran as he did, in a way that is appropriate to the place and time
in which we happen to live.
The approach of a modern Muslim School, which may be located in a modern secular or nonIslamic type of environment, cannot be like that of Islamic education of the recent past, when
teaching relied much on repetition and memorization and uncritical acceptance of the teachers
word. The Islamic teaching must relate with the society in which the pupils live, with the state of
modern knowledge and with the beliefs of other people (probably the majority) in the country
where the school is located. If Muslim children are to grow up as witnesses to the truth in a nonMuslim society, they need to understand that society and to develop an objective and critical
approach, so that they can appreciate whatever is good in it, avoid its evils and reach out to the
non-Muslims, presenting the truths of Islam in a way they can understand Islam and relate to it.

Rights of Children in Islam:

Islam cares about childhood and Muslims regard children as gifts/trust from Allah (SWT).
Parents will be held responsible for this trust on the Day of Judgement. Hence Islam pays
particular attention to rights of children and to the proper manner to raise them, so that they
will be equipped to face the difficulties of life. We must pay more attention to the best interests

of the children. All these principles were mentioned in Noble Qur'an and Ahadith, which cares
about the rights of child even before he or she is born. Before getting married, a man should
choose the best possible woman to be his children's mother.
Children have the right to be fed, clothed and protected until they reach adulthood. The child
has the right to a good education and a stable environment in which to grow up. Boys and girls,
as well as orphans, possess these rights in full. Nevertheless Allah (SWT) and Holy Prophet
Muhammad (pbuh) gave parent certain obligations to assure children's rights.
Respect for human rights begins with the way that a community treats its children. Children's
rights cannot be separated from human rights because children are the future generation.
Taking care of the coming generation by protecting their dignity and providing them their
needs is the most important thing for bringing up citizens best equipped to serve the
community.
On the other hand child abuse weakens a child's ability to study and makes them nervous as
they lose their sense of security. Many abused children go on to commit crimes and end up in
prison. The family is the most important unit for forming the community by bringing up the
next generation. So if there are problems in the home, children will be affected and the whole
family and community will suffer.
O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and
stones. Noble Qur'an, (66:6)
Parents are obligated not only to see to their religious training, proper education but also
training in sports and self defense of their children. In addition, they must not show preference
of sons and suppression or negligence of daughters.
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) says: "Observe justice in
dealing with your children in the same manner in which you expect them to observe justice in
being kind and good to you."
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) says: "Whoever goes to the
bazaar and purchases a present for the members of his family and brings it to them is like one
who spends on the needy. However he should prefer daughters to sons because whoever
pleases his daughter is like one who frees a slave from among the descendants of Prophet
Ismail (as)."
Relationship between Parents and Children in Islam:
"Your

parents and your children, you know not which of them is the nearer to you in
usefulness; this is an ordinance from Allah: Surely Allah is Knowing, Wise." Noble Qur'an
(4:11)
The above verse from Noble Qur'an shows the Islamic attitude towards the relationship

between parents and children. From infancy to adulthood, it is unparalleled tender love and
care of the parents which brings the child from the stage of absolute weakness and helplessness
to perfect strength and independence.
Conversely, in old age a man becomes like a small child; the mind and body turn so weak that
Allah (SWT) says in Noble Qur'an: If We grant long life to any, We cause him to be reversed in
nature: Will they not then understand? Noble Qur'an (36:68)
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) says: "The parents are
responsible with regard to their children in the same manner in which the children are
responsible with regard to their parents."
Yesterday, your parents looked after you when you were too feeble to look after yourself; today
you must look after them. Could we ever dare to think about leaving our parents after all they
have done so much for us? No entry into Jannah without parents being pleased.
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and Loving Children

Once Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was on his way to
someone's home; he saw Imam Hussain playing with boys. Messenger of Allah (Peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) extended his hands for little Imam Hussain to go up and
played with him and made him laugh in front of everybody; then he held him and gave him a
kiss.
Once a companion (Sahabi) visited the Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him), when he was engaged in caressing his two grandchildren, Hasan and Hussain.
Being surprised at this act, the companion said:
"O Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)! Do you also caress
children, I have ten children but I have never fondled even one of them."
Thereupon the Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) raised his eyes
and remarked: "It seems mercy and kindness has left your heart."
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) says: "A good act is written in
the record of virtuous deeds for one who gives a kiss to his child."
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was very kind to children and
loved them very much. He used to carry them on his shoulders. The children would become
very happy and laugh. Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), too,
would become happy at the pure happiness and laughter of the children and a smile would
appear on his face.
Every time Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) returned from a

trip, children would be waiting for him and he would hold some of them and ask his
companions to hold others. When Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon
him) leaves, the children would be talking about how he held one to his chest and another to
his back and how he asked others to hold the rest.
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to give his Salaam
(greetings) to children and would tell his companions (Sahaba): "I give my Salaam to children
and respect them, and Muslims should follow my behavior and always be warm and loving
with children."
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to speak about children boys and girls - and Say: "O Muslims, O fathers and mothers, O my followers, be kind and
compassionate towards children, for someone who is not kind to children has no place amongst
the Muslims."
Children are blessings not burden: (Muslim Parenting, Rights of Children in Islam)

Allah (SWT) says in Noble Qur'an: "Kill not your children for fear of want. We shall provide
sustenance for them as well as for you. Verily the killing of them is great sin." Noble Qur'an
(17: 31)
Once a Companion, Sahabi (Allah be pleased with him) submitted to the Messenger of Allah
(Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): "O Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) which is the greatest sin?"
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed: "Polytheism"
The Companion, Sahabi (Allah be pleased with him) again submitted: "And what next?"
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed: "Disobedience to
parents"
The Companion, Sahabi (Allah be pleased with him) submitted for the third time: "And which
sin is the greatest next to it?"
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed: "To kill your
children fearing that they will share your sustenance."
Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) and Loving Children (Rights of Children in Islam, Muslim
Parenting)

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) was very kind to children, especially to orphans. If he ever saw
an orphan crying, he would stop whatever he was doing, bend down, give the child his Salaam
(greetings), wipe away the child's tears, put his hand on the child's shoulder and say, "My child,

why are you crying? Has someone hurt you? Come; let me take you to my house."
Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) would take the child home and treat him better than any father.
He would bring the child sweets, cakes and honey and put them in the child's mouth himself.
Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) used to tell his followers to love and be kind to orphans,
especially the orphans of martyrs killed in the path of Allah. "They have lost their loving
fathers," he used to say. "So cheer them up and look after them just like a father. Their fathers
were martyred in Jihad and for the sake of Islam and they have rights on you. Make their souls
pleased with you by cheering up their children and looking after them."
Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) was always attentive to orphans especially to those of the
martyrs. He used to visit them and sit, chat and play with them He used to take care of their
education and training. Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) would strive to solve their difficulties
and always offered them guidance and advice. He would bring them gifts and, if they were
poor, he would respectfully provide their expenses.
Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) was so kind to orphans and laid so much stress on them in his
teachings that one of his companions (Sahaba) said: "How I wish that I too was a young orphan
so that I would receive kindness and love from Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as)."
Tarbiyat Al-Awlad (Child upbringing in Islam), Tarbiyatul Aulad (Aulad Ki Tarbiyat)

Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: A virtuous child is a
fragrant flower from the flowers of Heaven.
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Be kind to your children,
and excel in this kindness.
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Have your children to
learn swimming and shooting.
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Train your children in
three things: The love of your Prophet, to love the Ahlul Bayt, and the recitation of Noble
Qur'an.
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: When your children are
grown up to seven years, teach them the prayers, and when they are ten years old, seriously
admonish them for it (in order that they establish prayers); and separate their sleeping beds
from each other.
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: The child is the master
for seven years and a slave for seven years and a vizier for seven years; so if he builds a good

character within 21 years, well and good, otherwise leave him alone because you have
discharge your responsibility before Allah.
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Among the rights of the
child over the parent are three: To give him a good name, to teach him to write and to marry
him when he comes of age.
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: When a person's son
matures and he has the financial ability to marry him but does not do so, the boy will commit
sin and the sin will be on the father.
Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: May Allah have mercy on the one who helps his child
towards righteousness by being good to him, appealing to him, teaching him knowledge, and
training him.
Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: The right of a child upon his father is that he should give
him a nice appellation, train him well and teach him the Noble Qur'an (with its rules).
Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: No milk is greater in prosperity than the mother's milk for
the baby to suck from.
Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: Do not force your children to behave like you, for surely
they have been created for a time which is different to your time.
Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: Mould clay as long as it is pliable and plant seedlings
while they are still supple.
Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: A child that has to be restrained is like an extra finger: if
you let it be, then you dislike it, and if you cut it off, then it is painful.
Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: It should be your aim to display more kindness towards
your child than the kindness that he displays towards you.
Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: If you scold a child, then leave him room to turn away
from his wrong action, so that you do not leave him with obstinacy as his only way out.
Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: Since you sat down wherever you wished when you were
small, sit down where you do not want to now that you are grown up.
Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: The first things that children should learn about are the
things that they will need to know when they become men.
Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: The more forceful the pretence is in the beginning, the
harder it will be to keep up the pretence in the end.

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: Surely the heart of a child is like fallow ground: whatever
is planted in it is accepted by it.
Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: When a father beats his child it is like putting manure on a
young crop.
Imam Sadiq (as) said: Take action in teaching traditions (of Ahlul Bayt) to your children before
the corrupted persons precede in corrupting them.
Imam Sajjad (as) said: The right of your child is that you know that he has emerged from you
in this world; his right and wrong are attributed to you. You are responsible of his fine teaching
and training, guiding him to his Lord, Almighty and Glorious, and, assisting him to obey Him.
Therefore, be sure that if you do a favour to your child, you will obtain it; and if you act
viciously against him, it will come back to you, too. Tarbiyat Al-Awlad

Duties Of A Muslim Towards His Parents:

THE DUTIES OF A MUSLIM TOWARDS HIS PARENTS

In todays time parents are seen as a burden and are often sent elsewhere so that the children do
not care for them. Shrugging of the responsibility of caring for parents is a sin and results in
nothing but an end in Hell. When it comes to how the mother and father should be cared for, they
deserve equal attention in terms of care and physical and mental comfort and peace. The time
when a Muslim child should not abandon his or her parents is during their old age since they are
more vulnerable and they need some one to looked after them. He should know his duty as a
Muslim towards his parents. To be devoted to them at this time of their lives is a major way to
please Allah and seek His goodwill. It is one of the easiest ways to be granted access to
Paradise so Learn Quran where is is mentioned lot of time about parents and there are many
Hadith also regarding Duties Of A Muslim Towards His Parents i have not mentioned many but
little bit for your interest to read Quran and learn it if you are looking for like Quran tutors we
can shore help you and appoint you the best Tajweed koranic teacher for your kids and your self
to let them have then true knowledge of Islamic teachings and let them know about our religion
Islam in whole and how to practice it in their life. Let us come back to the topic of the duties of a
Muslim towards his parents.
A person once came to the Prophet (s.a.w) and asked him, Who has greatest claim on him with
regard to the service and kind treatment? The Prophet (s.a.w) said, Your mother and again your
mother and once again your mother. After her is the claim of your father, then that of your near
relatives, and then of the relations next to them. Although both parents, should be cared for

equally, the claim of the mother is three times higher. Also, if a good Muslim cares for his
parents, it is likely that his or her children will care for him or her too. Its not just the kids
responsibility to respect parents its the parents responsibility as well to enhance there family ties
with Quran and Islam so the kid could learn what Islam says and teaches about the respect of
elders, parents and kids and many more teachings Quran are about the way of living and about
Good deeds and about bad deed , that what are those. Its a wast topic to discuss duties of a
Muslim towards his parents.
One more important Hadith. Asma bint Abu Bakr also related that when her mother came from
Makkah to Medina to meet her, she went to the Prophet (s.a.w) and asked him how she could
stop her mother from following her pagan customs. The Prophet (s.a.w) only told her to respect
her mother and treat her with kindness since that would serve as a prayer for her and would serve
as repentance for her mothers sins. Praying for parents is very important. Even after they pass
from this world to the next, constant prayer should be made to Allah so that they can be peaceful
and are given some comfort, even after death. These prayers also serve as forgiveness for the sins
of the parents and is an opportunity for children to cleanse their parents sins. learn Quran it
states, And say, My Lord, Have mercy on both of them as they cared for me when I was little.
Its a vast topic to discuss duties of a Muslim towards his parents and an important one as well.
If a Muslim abuses his or her parents, then that is a major sin in the all-seeing eyes of Allah.
Abusing someone elses parents is also equivalent to abusing ones own parents which is why
this is not approved in Islam. The Prophet (s.a.w) replied thus when he was asked about to major
sins, To associate some one with Allah-All-Mighty, to disobey our parents, to kill unlawfully
and for giving false evidence.
Respect of parents is very important in Islam as it determines not only the place of a Muslim in
the hereafter but also serves as an opportunity to cleanse ones parents sins. Therefore,
respecting parents, showing them kindness and being obedient to them is very important is Islam.
please so remember to share the topic duties of a Muslim towards his parents and spread the
knowledge of islam.

The rights of the husband:

The rights of the husband upon his wife are greater than the rights of the wife upon her
husband for the simple reason that Allah, the Almighty, stated in the Glorious Quran what
means:And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is
reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And
Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise." [Quran 2: 228]Man is the caretaker of his wife and
household. He is responsible for all her affairs. He is responsible for training, direction and
discipline if needed. Allah Almighty Says what means: Men are in charge of women by [right

of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their
wealth [Quran 4:34]

It is an essential right of man over his wife to be obeyed so long as his commands do not conflict
or contradict the commands of Allah, the Almighty, Allahs Messenger
and the general
teachings and codes of ethics of Islam.
Allah Almighty Says in the same verse mentioned above (what means):"...But if they obey you
[once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.." [Quran
4:34]
A Muslim wife must protect her husbands secrets, privacies, honor and dignity. She also must
protect his wealth, children, finance, belongings and other aspects of his household, as much as
possible.
Allah Almighty Says in the same verse (what means): "...So righteous women are devoutly
obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard..." [Quran
4:34]
Allah's Messenger
said: "The wife is the guardian over the house of her husband and his
children." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
And, If I were to command a single person to bow in prostration to another person, I could have
commanded a woman to bow down (in obedience and respect, not in worship) to her
husband. [Abu Daawood]
Allahs Messenger
also said: If a husband calls his wife to his bed, but the latter refused to
fulfill the call (for any reason other than a lawful one), which drives the man to become upset
with his wife, then angels will curse such a wife until she gets up in the morning. [Al-Bukhari
and Muslim]
He
furthermore, said: "Their (husbands') rights over you (wives) is that you do not allow
anyone whom they dislike onto your bedding and you do not allow anyone whom they dislike
into your house." [At-Tirmithi]
The wife must not leave the house except with her husband's permission and approval. She must
also lower her gaze, keep her voice low, keep her hands from reaching out to anything evil and
keep her tongue from any lewd or foul speech. She also must not harm his parents or near
relatives.
This is because Allah Almighty has said (what means): "And abide in your houses and do not
display yourselves as [was] the display of the former times of ignorance...." [Quran 33:33]
Allah Almighty also has said (what means): "...Do not be soft in speech [to men], lest he in
whose heart is disease should covet, but speak with appropriate speech." [Quran 33:32]
In another verse, Allah Sayas (what means): "And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of
their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which
[necessarily] appears thereof..."[Quran 24:31]
Allah's Messenger
said: "The best woman is the one who when you look at her, you are
pleased; when you order her, she obeys; if you are absent from her, she guards herself and your
property." [At-Tabarani]
An other right of the husband over his wife is that the husband may ask his wife not do
something, including, but not limited to voluntary acts of worship, other than obligatory, which
cause her to lessen the time that her husband may have to enjoy her.
Allahs Messenger
stated: A wife is not allowed to observe fast (other than fasting in the
month of Ramadan, the prescribed, unless she has his permission. She may not allow any one to
come into his house, unless he permits. [At-Tirmithi]

Moreover, Allahs Messenger

placed the satisfaction and pleasure of a husband to be one of
the reasons to enable the wife to enter Paradise.
At-Tirmithi reported from Umm Salamah, the mother of the believers, may Allah be pleased with
her, that Allahs Messenger
said: Any woman whose husband dies while he is pleased,
happy and satisfied with her (acts, attitudes and behavior) will enter Jannah (Paradise).
These are but few items of the many rights that Islam, the religion of truth, imposes upon those
who commit themselves to follow and practice it as a way of life. We vividly see that such rights,
if maintained properly, will lead a society to peace, happiness and tranquility.
A husband becomes caring, affectionate, loving and responsible, yet directing and capable of
discipline when needed to improve a troublesome situation, regardless of his tender care and love
for his wife, so that vise and wickedness will not spread in the society.
A wife becomes more respected, adored, cared for, highly needed and appreciated if she respects
the rights of her husband, and equally given the rights she is entitled for by Islam.
In such a coherent way, the religion of truth, goodness, justice, equity, and all fairness coincide
with basic requirements of life including harmony between all the members of the society,
especially between the husband and the wife.

Responsibilities of the Husband:

1. The first and worthiest condition of marriage to be fulfilled by the husband is to "keep the
promise or promises he made to the wife at the time he married her." This is an order of the
Prophet [salla Allahu `alayhi wa alihi wa sallam, abbr. (s)] according to the hadith: "ahaqqu alshuruti an tufu bihi ma astahlaltum bihi min al-furuj"
2. He cannot order her to do anything that is against religion. The Prophet (s) said: "No
obedience is due to creatures in disobedience of the Creator" (la ta`atan li makhluqin fi ma`siyat
al-khaliq).
3. He must exercise patience and be prepared to listen to her advice in every situation. The
Prophet (s) listened to the advice of his wives in matters ranging from the smallest to the
greatest.
4. If she invites him to wake up and perform the late night prayer, it is praiseworthy for him to do
so and vice-versa. The Prophet (s) prayed for such people: "May Allah grant mercy to a man who
gets up at night and prays, and wakes up his wife, and if she refuses, he sprinkles water in her
face; may Allah grant mercy to a woman who gets up at night and prays, and wakes up her
husband, and if he refuses, she sprinkles water in his face."

5. He must respect her and pay attention to her needs so that she will respect him and pay
attention to his.
6. He must control his passions and act in a moderate manner especially in the context of sexual
intercourse. Remember that Allah has placed between you and her "friendship and mercy"
(mawadda wa rahma), not the gratification of your every lust; and that the Prophet (s) advised
young men to marry "because it casts down the gaze and walls up the genitals," not in order to
stimulate sexual passions. The husband should habitually seek refuge in Allah before
approaching his wife and say: "O Allah, ward off the satan from us and ward him off from what
you have bestowed upon us in the way of children"(allahumma jannibna al-shaytana wa
jannibhu ma razaqtana). Allah has called each spouse a garment for the other (2:187), and the
purpose of garments is decency. The Prophet (s) further said that he who marries for the sake of
decency and modesty (`afaf), Allah has enjoined upon Himself to help him.
7. He must never ever divulge the secrets of the household and those of the married couple.
8. He must strive with sincerity to acquire her trust, and seek her welfare in all the actions that
pertain to her.
9. He must treat her generously at all times. The Prophet (s) said that the best gift or charity
(sadaqa) is that spent on one's wife.
10. If she works outside the house, it is praiseworthy for the husband to hire house help to relieve
her from too heavy a burden. The wife's duties do not require her to feed her child, nor even to
nurse it, nor to clean nor cook. It is the husband's duty to provide a nursemaid, food for older
children, and servants to clean and cook. However, if the wife does those things out of mercy and
love, it is a gift to the husband on her part.
11. He must avoid excessive jealousy and remember that Allah is also jealous that he himself not
commit. The Prophet (s) said: "Do not be excessively jealous of your wife lest evil be hurled at
her on your account" (la tukthir al-gheerata `ala ahlika fa turama bi al-su'i min ajlik) and he
said: "Allah is jealous and the believer is jealous; and Allah's jealousy is that the believer should
not go to that which Allah has forbidden for him" (inna Allaha yagharu wa al- mu'minu yagharu
wa gheerat Allahi in ya'tiya al-mu'minu ma harrama `alayhi).
12. He must protect her honor and not place her in situations where it is compromised or
belittled. The Prophet (s) said that Allah will not ever let him enter Paradise who cares little who
shares his wife's privacy. This includes the husband's brother, uncle, and nephew, let alone nonrelated friends, neighbors, and complete strangers.

13. He must exercise patience and forgiveness in the case of disagreement or dispute, and not
rush to divorce. The declaration of divorce is a grave matter indeed, and the Prophet (s) said: "Of
permitted matters the most loathesome before Allah is divorce" (abgh`ad al-halal `ind Allah altalaq). In another hadith he said that divorce is so grave that because of it Allah's throne is made
to shake. He said: "The best intercession [i.e. intervention of a third party] is that which brings
back together the husband and the wife." Womanizing -- divorce for the purpose of marrying
another woman out of sexual attraction incurs Allah's curse according to the hadith: "Allah's
curse is on the womanizing, divorcing man" (la`ana Allahu kulla dhawwaaqin mutallaaq).
Finally, even in the midst of and after divorce, Allah has prescribed kindness upon the
man: "(After pronouncing divorce) she must be retained in honor or released in kindness"
(2:228).
For the above-mentioned reason (i.e. to prevent the quickness of divorce), in his time, Ibn
Taymiyya gave the ijtihad (juridical opinion) by saying that three talaqs in one sitting constituted
only one. He did this to interdict the prevalent custom of suddenly giving three talaqs, which in
his time was on everyone's lips, (i.e. had become so commonplace as to be a habit). However the
other four schools of fiqh had the opposite opinion in this matter.
14. He must not dwell on what he dislikes in his wife, but on what he likes.
15. The husband is not to stay away from his wife or keep his wife in a state of suspense,
whether at home or abroad, for a protracted period of time except with her consent. Allah said:
"Turn not away (from your wife) altogether, so as to leave her hanging. If you come to a friendly
understanding and practice self-restraint, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Merciful" (4:129).
Protracted separation (6 months or more in the Shafi`i school) without prior or subsequent
arrangement with the wife, whether the husband is away willingly or unwillingly (for example
due to war, imprisonment, or illness) is sufficient grounds for her to obtain divorce from the
judge.
16. The Prophet (s) said: "Do not beat your wife." He also said: "Do not strike your wife in the
face." The expiation for striking one's slave in the face is to set him or her free on the spot, but
what expiation is there for striking one's wife? The Prophet (s) condemned the man who beats his
wife in the day and then approaches her at night. And to beat her to the extent of inflicting
serious injury is enough grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.
17. Caring for one's wife's sexual fulfillment is an obligation of religion. The Prophet (s) warned
against rushing to gratify one's pleasure and forgetting that of one's wife. He also disliked that
the husband should quickly withdraw from his wife afterwards, as it is a strain upon the wife. If
she asks for intercourse, he should not refuse.

The Rights of the Wife:

There are certain obligations that men owe to the women and these obligations should be fully
appreciated.
1. Every husband has the obligation to provide for the sustenance of his wife. She should be
provided with adequate food, a comfortable home, suitable clothes and other basic amenities of
life. He should always bear in mind that this woman has disassociated herself from her parents,
brothers and sisters, relatives and friends and has joined him to share all the ups and downs of
life. Hence, it has become his duty to look after her basic needs and comforts.
2. It should be remembered that husbands, who never bother for the sustenance of their wives,
commit a severe crime of depriving Allahs SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala creatures of their rights. Such
people would be dealt with severely in the Court of Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala. The Holy
Quran says: Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah SubHanuhu wa
Ta'ala has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their
means. [4:34]
3. The husband should satisfy his wifes physical needs. The Shareeah has not prescribed any
limit for this. But, he has to ensure that womans minimum sexual requirements are met so that
she may not commit a sin by eyeing other men in order to quench her thirst. There are certain
men who, after marriage, do not take care of the sexual needs of their wives. Such people are
great sinners and will be severely convicted in the Court of Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala.
Almighty Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala has granted women the right to conjugal relations with
their husbands. The importance of this right can be well understood by the following example of
Ameer al-Momineen Sayyiduna Umar al-Farooq Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho. It is reported that
he was on his routine inspection round at night in Madinatul Munawwara when he heard an old
lady moaning and reciting melancholic couplets. The Caliph Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho stopped
there and listened to the wailing lady. He Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho investigated the matter and
came to know that the husband of the woman had gone for Jihad long time ago and this woman
has been remembering her husband with these sad couplets. The Ameer Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala
Anho was deeply moved and immediately issued an official Decree to all chiefs of his army that
no married man should be away from his wife for more than four months.
4. The husband should not beat up his wife without her committing a most severe crime. The
Messenger of Allah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has said: Nobody should beat up his wife as he
does beat up his slave. He should make love with her later some time.
However, if the woman commits a bigger crime, the husband can beat her not in vengeance but
with the intention of reforming her and as a warning. While beating, he should take care that she
should not be hurt seriously. The Books of Fiqha have mentioned that the husband can punish his

wife for four things:

a. If the husband orders his wife to decorate herself with ornaments and legitimate make-up but
she disobeys and remains dirty.
b. If the husband invites her to bed and she refuses without any legitimate reason.
c. If she does not take bath to purify herself after menses.
d. If she abstain from performing Salaah without a legitimate reason.
In the above circumstances, the husband should first persuade the wife. If she does not agree to
comply with his requests, he may threaten her. If she still does not obey him, he can beat her
barring her face. He should not beat her so severely to the extent of a fracture or a severe wound.
5. In order to bring peace and prosperity in the married life, both the wife and the husband should
take care of each others sentiments and emotions. The anger of husband brings to the wife
nothing but tension, depression and confusion. Similarly, the anger of the wife brings to the
husband nothing but disappointment, mental torture, frustration and bitterness. It is, therefore,
advisable to both husband and wife to be patient and compassionate in their dealings.

6. The husband should never appreciate the beauty and other merits of strange woman in front of
his wife. This may lead to create jealousy and suspicion in the mind of his wife. She would think
that her husband has some illicit relations with that woman. This thought is a poison that kills
matrimonial relations. If a man cannot tolerate that his wife should wrongly be associated with
another man, the wife also cannot tolerate another woman to share her husband. The woman
cannot listen to praise and admiration of another woman through the lips of her husband even if
that another woman happens to be his mother or sister or some other close relative.
7. Man is, undoubtedly, made a ruler over the woman but it does not mean that he should ask her
to do a work, which is beyond her capacity, or a work which she would not like to do. If the
husband still insists his wife to do the work against her will, she would accomplish that job
unwillingly and this would create a sort of disgust against her husband, which would ultimately
mar their matrimonial life.
8. The husband should from time to time censure the life style of his wife - sometimes in a harsh
tone, sometimes with love and affection and sometimes with persuasion. There are husbands who
always keep a rod hanging with their moustaches and never treat their wives in a good manner
other than rebuking and beating them. Such wives get frustrated and start hating their husbands.
There are other hen-pecked husbands who over-pamper their wives even after they commit
severe blunders. Their wives become stubborn and outspoken.
9. The husband should implement this couplet of Sadi of Shiraz in their life. He says: Strictness

and pampering are very good things but at appropriate times. For example, the surgeon cuts
open the wound but at the same time apply soothing ointment. Likewise, the husband should not
be very strict nor very soft. A middle path always brings good results.
10. The husband, while setting out on a tour, should go to his wife and informally seek her
consent in a loving manner and as a matter of goodwill. He may ask her to invoke the Almighty
Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala that the journey may prove safe and beneficial for him. Similarly,
while returning from the tour he should bring some exclusive gifts for her. This gesture would
encourage the wife to think with satisfaction that my husband loves me to the extent that even if
he was away engaged in his business activities, he remembered me. Thus, a simple initiative on
the part of the husband will win over the heart of his wife.
11. If the woman brings anything from her fathers house or prepares herself and presents it to
the husband, he should express gratitude and appreciate it. This will please her. The husband
should never reject or discard or criticize any gift offered by his wife.
12. If the wife falls sick, the husband should dedicatedly look after her. He should take extra pain
in her nursing, feeding, etc. This little service will win over the heart of the wife and she will be
very grateful to the husband.

13. The husband should express his full confidence and trust in his wife and, to prove this, he
should hand over the domain of the house to her so that she may feel dignified and involved. The
Holy Prophet of Islam SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has said that the woman is the guardian and
caretaker of her husbands house and Almighty Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala will take an account
from her in this regard on the Day of Judgement.
14. The very benefit of relying on the wife would be that she would feel herself responsible for a
vital department in the set up of the household. This will give the husband an opportunity to
freely think of other things regarding the promotion and progress of his business.
15. The husband should never share the secrets of her wife with others. Sayyiduna Rasoolullah
SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has said: Worst is the person in the sight of Allah SubHanuhu wa
Ta'ala who goes to his wife and then discloses her secrets and lowers her status in the eyes of
others.
16. The husband should be neat and clean as he expects the same from his wife. He should look
smart, dynamic and a loveable person.
17. The husband should provide her with the paraphernalia of personal hygiene such as soap, hair
oil, comb, Mehndi, perfumes, etc. so that the wife may keep herself neat and clean and in better

looks.
18. The husband should not level charges of corrupt practices against his wife without going into
the depth of the matter. The relationship between a husband and a wife is based purely on mutual
understanding. They have to trust each other. Any baseless suspicion against each other would
mar the relations of the husband and wife. A Hadith says: One Bedouin came to the court of the
Holy Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam and said, O Allahs Apostle SallAllaho Alaihi wa
Sallam, my wife has delivered a child who is dark complexioned and does not resemble me. I am
sure it is not my child. The Holy Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam said, Do you have some
camels? He said, Yes, I have many camels. The Holy Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam
asked, What is the colour of those camels? He said, They are brown. The Prophet of Islam
SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam asked, Are there some grey camels among them? He said, Yes, a
few of them are grey. The Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam said, Tell me how those brown
camels gave birth to these grey camels? He said, Some camel among the ancestors of my brown
camels would have been of grey colour and these grey camels might have taken their origin from
that particular camel. The Holy Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam said, Similarly, it is
possible that anyone among your ancestors would have been of black complexion and your child
might have inherited his genetic influence.

19. If there is some difference of opinion between the husband and wife, the husband should not
make a hurry to pronounce divorce to her. He should exercise restraint. After his anger subsides,
he should ponder over the entire matter with a cool mind. He may seek the advice of his elders in
this matter and decide whether or not there is a chance of reconciliation and settlement. If a point
of understanding and reconciliation emerges, he should act accordingly and refrain from
breaking the wedlock. The Beloved Habeeb SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has said that the
divorce is the most disliked things among the permissible things in the sight of Almighty Allah
SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala.
20. If both husband and wife feel that there is no way out except the separation, the husband
should pronounce one Talaaq after the woman clears her menses. There will be a temporary
separation between them. This period will give them enough time to review their decision of
separation. If they think that reconciliation is in their interest, the husband should take his wife
back in his arms and forget what had happened between them. But if they think that they can no
more live together, the husband should pronounce the second Talaaq after she clears her menses.
The second pronouncement separates both of them. They have still a time to think of
reconciliation. If they decide to live together, they have to perform the Nikah afresh after the
period of Iddat is over. If they do not go for any reconciliation till the completion of the Iddat
period, the third Talaaq will automatically come into force bringing a permanent separation
between them. They cannot enter wedlock unless they go for Halalah. Halalah means that the
woman should marry another man and have physical intercourse with him. The husband number

two should divorce her. After the completion of the period of Iddat, she can marry the husband
number one again.
21. There are some ignorant persons who play with the word Talaaq. They pronounce the divorce
over minor clashes with their wives. After the pronouncement of divorce they repent and rush to
the theologians and Muftis and force them to give a verdict in their favour. Some persons, while
approaching the theologians, tell a lie that they had pronounced only one Talaaq. The Mufti has
to allow them to retain their wives according to the Law of Shareeah. Thus, these ignorant
people get themselves involved in establishing relations with a woman who is otherwise not to
be taken as wife without Halalah.
22. If a man possesses more than one wife, it is obligatory on him to do justice with them. There
should be equal treatment among wives in respect of sustenance, living conditions and personal
attention. He has to spend equal time with every one of them. The Holy Prophet SallAllaho
Alaihi wa Sallam has said that if a man has two wives and does not treat them equally, he would
be raised on the Day of Judgment with half his body paralysed.
23. If the husband faces some trouble because of the misbehaviour of his wife, he should try to
avoid her and keep patience. Womans arrogance and foolishness is a natural phenomenon. The
Glorious Prophet of Islam SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has said: Woman has been created from
the bent rib of Adam Alaihis Salam. If somebody tries to make the bent bone straight, it will
rather break instead of becoming straight. Similarly, if someone tries to set his wife right, there
will be more a chance of separation instead of improvement in her nature.
24. The husband should not behave as a miser in meeting the materialistic requirements of his
wife nor should he go for extravagance in her maintenance. He should define his expenditure as
per his capacity.
25. The husband should not confine his wife within the four walls of his house. She should be
taken to her parents and relatives from time to time provided these visits do not bring any trouble
to the peace of his house.

A Woman Duties:
All Praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds, our Cherisher and Sustainer. All praise is due to
Allah, who created spouses for us from ourselves to gain rest and kept love and mercy between
the Husbands and the Wives. Countless Durood and Salaams be upon the most perfect and
unique of creation, our Leader, our Master, the Beloved of Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala
Muhammad Mustafa SallAllahu Ta'ala Alaihi wa ala Aalihi wa SaHbihi wa Baaraka wa Sallam.

The Holy Quran says: So the righteous women are obedient [to Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala
and submissive to their husbands], and guard in [the husbands] absence what Allah SubHanuhu
wa Ta'ala would have them guard [i.e., their chastity and the prestige and property of the
husband] [4: 34]
As a wife, side by side with enjoying equal fundamental human rights, a woman has been placed
one degree below the husband in the matter of administering the affairs of the family. The
Quran says: but men have a degree over them [2:228]
Compare this with the following verdicts of the exponents of modern scientific thought on this
problem.
Says Nemilov: Man, perhaps even down to the protein molecules of his tissue cells, is
biologically different from woman. From the very moment of sex formation in the embryo, the
biological ducting of the sexes develops along entirely divergent paths We must recognize the
unquestionable existence of the biological inequality of the sexes. It goes deeper and is of far
greater import than it would appear to those not familiar with natural science.
The desires and conduct of the two sexes, says Mercier, are not similar but are
complementary and reciprocal. In courtship the male is active: his role is to court, to pursue, to
possess, to control, to protect, to love. The role of a female is passive Consequent on this
fundamental difference are certain others. For pursuit, greater ardour is necessary than for mere
reception; and the courting activity of the male is, throughout the whole animal kingdom, more
ardent than that of the female; and this greater ardour is connected with certain other
differences. .
Julian Huxley observes: I venture to prophesy not only that the inherent differences between the
sexes will not tend to diminish in the course of evolution but that man will continue, as now and
in the past, to emphasize them by custom and convention.
It should, however, be clearly kept in mind that, in the Quranic teaching, the husband and the
wife stand in complementary relation to each other, and never in the relation of the ruler and the
ruled. The Quran enjoins upon men: They are your garments and you are their
garments. [2:187]
In the presence of the husband, the Holy Quran has not chosen her to function as the head of the
family, because owing to his masculine constitution and appropriate mental make-up, the
husband is better equipped to earn livelihood for the family, to bear the physical strains, and to
avert dangers to the family in general. The Holy Quran refers to these functions of the husband
when, speaking of his role for the wife. It says: Men are the protectors and maintainers of
women, because Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala has given the one more than the other, and because
they spend of their wealth [4: 34]
Of course, the husband has to administer the family jointly with the wife, according to the
Quranic Law: who conduct their affairs by mutual consultation [42: 38]

As a follower of the Quran, it is only in extreme cases that the husband may differ
irreconcilably with the wife. But, then too, he cannot transgress the bounds of justice and mercy
of the Holy Quran, which commands him to be always just, merciful and considerate.
The second position of the wife as administrator is, thus, not a source of suffering for her but a
source of strength and a blessing.
Every woman must obey the legitimate commands of her husband. Appeasement of husband is a
great virtue while the displeasure of the husband carries heavy prosecution. The Holy Prophet of
Islam SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has said: If I were to command humans to prostrate before
anyone other than Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala, I would have commanded the women to bow
down before their husbands.
The Messenger of Allah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has also said: If a woman dies in a state
that her husband is happy with her, she would enter the Paradise.
The Glorious Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has also said: When the husband calls his
wife for some work, she should immediately attend his call even if she may be sitting by the side
of her hearth . The Hadith means that the wife should give top priority to attend to her husband.
Another Hadith says: If a husband says to his wife to transform a yellow mountain into a black
one or turn a black mountain into a white one, she should obey his orders. The Hadith means
that the woman should try to perform the hardest of the hard job assigned by her husband.
The Holy Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam said: Allahs SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala Angels curse
the woman throughout the night whose husband calls her to bed but she refuses and the husband
goes to sleep in anger.
Relations between husband and wife have been conceived as based on mutual cooperation, love
and compassion. The Holy Quran says: And among His Signs is this that He created your
mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love
and mercy between your ; verily in that are Signs for those who reflect. [30: 21]
It means that :

Marriage is essentially a spiritual bond of union, rather than a mere physical relationship;

Marriage should be contracted with the firm resolve of maintaining the relation for life;

Monogamy should be ideal, because that is the ideal condition in which mutual
cooperation, the common man can practice harmony and love normally and smoothly.

Reference:

www.sunnah.org
www.momin.com
www.ezsoftech.com
www.al-islam.org
www.alahazrat.net
www.islamicacademy.org