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Contents
Girlfriend On Demand ...................................................................................... 4
Chapter 1: The #1 Most Important Factor in Attracting Women - Your Mojo 13
Chapter 1 Checklist ..................................................................................... 50
Chapter 2: Perfect Your Outer Game .............................................................. 52
Chapter 2 Checklist ......................................................................................69
Chapter 3: Inner Game .................................................................................... 71
Chapter 3 Checklist .................................................................................... 118
Chapter 4: Getting To Know Her................................................................... 123
Chapter 4 Checklist .................................................................................... 176
Chapter 5 Getting Closer ............................................................................... 181
Chapter 5 Checklist .................................................................................... 198
Chapter 6: Dating Her ................................................................................... 201
Chapter 6 Checklist .................................................................................... 215
Chapter 7: Getting Physical ........................................................................... 217
Chapter 7 Checklist ....................................................................................224
Chapter 8: Moving From Dates to Girlfriend ................................................226
Chapter 8 Checklist.................................................................................... 235
Chapter 9: Knowing Shes The One ............................................................236
Chapter 9 Checklist ................................................................................... 250
Checklist For Success .................................................................................... 253
Girlfriend On Demand
Hi. Im Eric. Welcome and congratulations on your decision to buy
this book. Your life is about to change forever. Remember this very
moment.
I want to quickly say a few, really important points before we get
started.
I wrote this book because currently there is more information out
there for guys to attract women than ever.
However, even with all this information currently out there, it
hasnt really helped most guys yet.
Instead of creating a world where most guys are more successful
with the women they really want, its created a world where guys
are more confused than ever about what really, truly attracts
women. Im talking about the stuff that has worked since the
beginning of time and will continue to work forever the core of
attractiveness.
I want to make an important point immediately.
When I wrote this book, I wrote it to be simple.
Now, when a book contains information thats simple its because of
one of two reasons, either:
1) Its simple because the author doesnt really understand the
complexities
of
attraction,
relationships
and
human
interaction, so what they present is simplistic and ineffective.
you need to know about what truly attracts a woman and keeps her
interested in you for as long as you want.
Some quick background about me:
In my life right now, I can say that Ive had experiences with
women dying to be my girlfriend that shock me.
I always had a crush on this woman named Deanna, a woman who
looked like she stepped out of the pages of Playboy. I didnt think
shed ever even look at me, let alone want me to be her boyfriend.
I always wanted to get to know her better, but couldnt muster the
courage to strike up a conversation.
Well, she ended up becoming my official girlfriend after I realized
exactly what to do in order to get her feeling like she had to have
me or else her life wouldnt be complete. It was I who eventually
broke off that relationship, but it wasnt a bad breakup and we had
a lot of fun together when she was my girlfriend.
Then, I had a string of amazing women whom I dated without even
doing anything other than letting them chase me. The ones I made
my official girlfriend were always special and sweet. Obviously I
found them all incredibly attractive as well.
It wasnt always this way, though. I used to be such a failure with
women its humiliating to bring up.
I have to tell you this humiliating story about a prom disaster
back in high school.
I had a crush on a girl named Isabel, who had blonde hair and big,
green eyes with an amazing tan. She wore these little shorts a lot
and her body looked too good for words.
I was in shock when I first met this woman and saw her literally
unable to not be close to Adam. In public, this sweet and amazing
woman, who also happened to be laid back and hilarious, was
holding his hand, looking at him and ignoring every other
man on the planet.
I figured Adam had to have some secret personality trait or some
kind of it factor, but I didnt know what it could be then I
noticed this trend happening with random strangers. I saw men
who had nothing going for them with these amazingly hot
women all over them in public.
I had to figure out what was going on here because I knew
this could be something that would change my life if I could
crack the code behind their success.
I decided to dedicate my free time to researching, obsessing and
endlessly trying to figure out what the secret was
I finally discovered what it was after tons of trial and error,
frustrations and failures. Im going to share my discovery in this
book.
My life was so different after I finally figured out what made women
want to be your girlfriend. I couldnt believe it. Things started
working: women would be the ones to strike up conversations with
me. Women actually found me INTERESTING and called me sexy,
even hot.
It was ridiculous because the tables turned so much so that women
would try and maneuver situations so that we slept together on the
first date. It was hilariously amazing.
Not only did they think I was hot, but they also wanted to be my
girlfriend. They wanted to COMMIT to ME and only ME. My friends
noticed these really ridiculous results and asked me what I was
doing
9
10
You cant learn a skill without doing it in real life. Imagine trying to
learn how to drive without ever getting behind the wheel. You cant
learn to drive a car reading a manual. Its the same idea.
Plus, its going to require you read the whole book, not just parts,
because if you learn, lets say, how to ask a woman to be your
girlfriend, but dont read important concepts about compatibility
and what kind of things to look for in a relationship dynamic, you
will end up choosing the wrong woman that isnt a good match.
Imagine if you read how to get a womans number, which is
covered in this book, but then have no clue what to do to keep her
interested and how to talk to a woman on the phone.
Thats why you have to follow this course from start to finish and
dont skip parts you think you are fine with.
Take the car example. If you knew how to drive in a straight line,
but had no clue how to change lanes, youd get into a major
collision trying to drive and maneuver from one lane to another.
You can only drive when a bunch of stuff is happening at the same
time. If one of the core elements goes wrong, you get into a car
crash.
The point is: theres no guarantee that youll get a girlfriend if you
dont follow all the guidelines.
What this means is you will be wiping the slate clean regarding
everything you think is true about women. You are going to get the
most out of this book if you actually drop all the ideas you have and
let all the new concepts sink in.
A point I have to get out of the way right now is going to be one of
the most crucial parts of getting a girlfriend.
11
You will be meeting new women, because even if you like one
specific woman it will be your only chance to steal her heart when
you have OPTIONS.
You will think of her as one of many women who are going to be
showing you what makes them worthy of being with you.
This is going to be explained fully later on. For now, just know that
even if you have ONE woman in mind, meeting new women will be
a crucial part of this entire process. This goes for guys coming in
with all different situations, whether its being stuck in the friend
zone, getting out of a nasty divorce and not knowing where to
begin, or just generally having little experience with women.
Okay, lets begin. I dont want to waste any time, because I know
how frustrating not getting the results you want with the women
you want in the way you want can be.
12
14
The internet is filled with guys who will confidently proclaim they
know how to get women, but dont really understand what it takes
to get from point A to point B their recommendation is to just
imitate their style and personality, with no deep understanding of
what really generates attraction in a woman.
Women cant really explain what they want entirely either. When
women feel attracted to a guy, 99.99% of them dont analyze the
feeling. A woman just goes with it without questioning its origin,
which makes it confusing for men who just want to understand
whats actually going through a womans mind.
If she gets asked why she picked a particular guy over another,
shell only give a partial explanation of why (if even).
There are a few reasons why women arent open or comfortable
discussing this stuff. Even in todays world, there is still a lot of
shaming that goes on as to what women choose to do in their
romantic life. Women dont want to be judged negatively, so they
avoid giving an answer that could make them look bad socially.
Instead, theyll just go without whatever the popular, acceptable
answer is.
Theyre not doing it to intentionally confuse men. They are doing it
because unfortunately large portions of our society punish women
for being honest about their sexuality.
Hollywood pumps out lies in music, movies and TV about what
women really find attractive that poisons so many men trying to
figure out what to do in order to get the woman they want.
The Big Lie is manufactured by Hollywood to make money. I want
to expose the Big Lie once and for all before revealing the #1
most important factor that will overcome the Big Lie.
You might be wondering or have wondered at some point in
your dating life: why do women say one thing, but do another?
15
The answer is: the Big Lie makes women think men are one
way that has nothing to do with how men actually are.
Why do women say they want nice guys, for example, and date
jerks?
Why do women say money isn't important, but date the guys who
spoil them with tons of presents?
Why do women say they want true love and a guy who treats them
right then go for guys who dont have the ability to love?
Why do women say they want a guy who is sensitive yet shit all
over you when you show that side to her?
The list goes on there are so many things that women say to
you, but do the opposite not because theyre mean or want
to trick men.
This is not to say women are all the same, but there are core
similarities in how women perceive men that sabotage both men
and women from getting into good relationships.
Women arent evil creatures out to harm men (most arent,
anyway)
Here is what happens. A woman watches a film or TV show
(like Sex & the City) that portrays men in a certain way. The way
men are shown in Sex & the City, for example is completely
unrealistic. If you have never seen the show, you would be shocked
to find out how four women in NYC have a weekly discussion about
sex every Sunday over brunch.
Women end up gathering that these women, with their
independence and sarcastic nature, are the epitome of
attractiveness to a man. So the message becomes clear: act
16
19
You automatically stand out from the pack of competition and other
guys dont stand a chance against you when you unlock your mojo.
Mojo is what you cant get a girlfriend without and is what most
men dont have access to. You are going to unlock your mojo,
which is going to naturally attract women without you doing
anything because it will be part of you.
If you know the most important factor in attracting women, things
get simpler. You can focus on the one thing thats most important
to attracting women.
You wont have to wonder if what youre doing is correct, if it is
going to work, and if youre her type or what she wants or not.
You are going to have predictable results. Arent you sick of waiting
to see if you made a total fool out of yourself or the woman liked
whatever it is you may have done? This is dependable.
Plus its like a potion women get instinctually drawn to. When
a woman detects a man has mojo, its like a light bulb gets
turned on in her brain. Her mind is fixated on how to get the guy
with mojo. She will go to the ends of the earth to figure out how to
attract him and will do anything in her power to win his heart.
What Is Mojo?
Mojo is my personal discovery and nobody has really talked about it
yet. What it boils down to is that mojo is being happy and
comfortable in life. Mojo is also about taking ACTION. Dont worry,
Im going to explain this all right now in exact, concrete, real-world
terms.
It is the essence of the personality that a womans sexual system
is always scanning for in a guy, regardless of age, income or looks.
20
21
22
The way Blair would explain things was so clear and open. Her
shocking honesty blew me away and I kind of got used to it, but
never forgot how useful everything she said truly was.
So from this point onward in the book, you will hear stories about
things Blair helped me realize.
One of the first things I noticed about Blair was her smile. She was
always a happy person.
Her nature made me feel like things were pleasant rather than
tense. We would laugh for hours about the most ridiculous things
you can imagine
Blair had asked me to accompany her to a dinner party. She was
looking for a new job with a CEO of a major company and the boss
said to bring a date.
Why was I her date? Well, I wasnt quite sure what made her want
me to accompany her, but we ended up going, laughing and she
loved every second of it.
I was able to let myself be happy and experience the moment
thanks to not having a negative vibe festering within me.
After the dinner, her boss ended up asking her to start work on
Monday. She was not as happy as I would think.
I asked her why she wasnt jumping up and down for joy.
Eric, a job wont define me. I wouldnt be less happy if the guy
didnt like me or want to hire me. It doesnt make me feel bad. Its
weird, I dont know what it is, but something about being able to
just breathe and be in the moment and enjoy life I dont know I
guess its just how I am.
23
She said that to me in a way that made perfect sense at the time,
but seemed a lot harder to execute in my own life.
At first, I figured she just didnt get how hard finding happiness is
for guys like me.
Circumstances Become Opportunities
It also might mean that if there are people in your life or a life
circumstance that always makes you feel bad (uncomfortable,
unhappy, angry, etc.) that you should drop them from your mind
and stop participating in caring about whatever that thing or person
is.
Factor #2: Comfortable
If you are comfortable, the woman you are around will feel
comfortable. In interactions, you dont force things and just
naturally go with whatever is happening. Dont try to sound a
certain way or put pressure on yourself to be a certain way.
The opposite of being comfortable is having a secret agenda.
An agenda means you have something you want to have
happen. You are trying to hide your true intention and it
creeps women out. Creepy is one of the worst things a
woman can call you.
Drop the agenda if you want to avoid turning her off instantly.
What should you do instead? Dont focus on making things happen
or doing things. Focus on how the conversation feels, instead. You
always want the conversation to feel fun and enjoyable.
There is nothing you need to gain or extract from it. You are
engaging in a conversation just to see if the woman is fun to
talk to. This is your only purpose. This will make sense as we go
on, but for now, just know that there is a reason these concepts
24
are being introduced right now. This book builds upon each
chapter.
Either way, a huge mistake a lot of men make is making a
conversation into a big deal. They think theres some bag of
tricks that can make a conversation magically hook a woman
in seconds, no matter what. This is just not true.
Either you get along with a woman naturally or you dont. Theres
something called compatibility, which is going to be the key to
understanding why you are comfortable with some women
and uncomfortable with others.
When you try to shove a proverbial square peg into a round
hole by convincing a woman who is not compatible with you
to magically become compatible with you and like you, a lot
of guys seem to think thats what a conversation is supposed to be.
All you are doing in any conversation is seeing if the woman
is fun to talk to. Is she? If not, you lose nothing and walk away. If
she is, then thats great you arent making something happen. If
it is just plain enjoyable for both of you, you stay in it. If its not,
you move on in search of new fun.
Drop the Shame
When you are ashamed of something or think you have to hide
your real intentions and thoughts, you actually might not
realize how much it sabotages your shot with any woman
you are around. It means you end up trying to make sure
she thinks the opposite.
You Dont Hide Your Thoughts or Intentions
Vulnerability isnt something you freak out about or pretend not to
be. You are not afraid to be vulnerable or talk about anything
because its what you actually think.
25
You dont try to impress her or make her see you in a certain way.
Sexual Shame Purge
If you feel ashamed about sex, you will not be attractive in the way
women naturally gravitate to. Women want to be with a man who
owns his sexuality and isnt afraid to admit it. Now, with that said,
theres a difference between being offensive and owning your
sexuality.
When you think about sex, make it a point to not be ashamed of
your sexuality, but at the same time dont try to go around
announcing it to anyone who will listen. This is the fine line
between offensive and attractive.
When you feel attracted to a woman, dont lie about it and pretend
you arent, but dont persistently inform her how sexy she is. The
BALANCE between being too vocal about sex and too
cautious/afraid of offending is where you want to hit if
you want to be a guy she craves on an instinctual level.
Sexual desire is something you express in a balanced way. You
should not apologize for being sexual, but at the same time theres
nothing that turns a woman off like a guy who is pushy and
desperate.
A guy is going to come off as confident to women if he is able to be
comfortable with his sexuality, but if it goes too far a woman will
see you as a desperate creep with no options.
As far as sex (or having a sexual presence) is concerned, its as
simple as this: You are OK with sex. You are OK with having it,
youre OK with talking about it and you dont feel any pressure or
fear to say or do anything sexual.
Ive seen guys work themselves up into a nervous wreck because
they make sex into a whole big issue in their minds they worry
26
about it, they project all sorts of meaning into it and they believe
its a high-stakes operation, like disarming a bomb or something.
Making sex into a big deal is the problem itself if you think you
need a solution to solve some sort of sex problem, most of the
time its not a solution you need, but rather to stop seeing a
problem where there is no problem.
When you activate your mojo, turning her on and making her crave
sex with you will automatically take care of itself. All you have to
do is not make it into a problem (or worse, try to solve that illusory
problem with some weird psychological technique or mind game)
To sum it up: You enjoy sex and you make no apologies for that,
but you also realize theres no need to shove it in anyones face.
Cool is Useless
This part is crucial: You dont care whether you appear cool
or aligned with whats popular when you have mojo.
Women love when a man can define his own point of view without
needing to look to some idea of cool and popular as his guideline.
This is incredibly sexy to women, especially the most attractive
women used to men paying tons of attention to them.
This is part of mojo because it stays true to the person you are.
Dont let shame get in the way of being your real self.
Recall that being ashamed of something you are by nature is
going to be a turn off to women.
Being a second rate version of someone else is
attractive, but being a first-rate version of yourself is.
27
not
30
31
Blair stared right at the woman and said, Maybe you should let
your husband be who he wants to be. Im sorry that you are so
bored with your life you have to annoy me.
I was quiet. It was amusing. Blair was always causing some kind of
spectacle wherever we went.
The woman got up and left the table because they were done with
breakfast. The guy got up and looked sad to be leaving, but
grudgingly walked behind her.
The same guy ended up coming to me for private coaching a few
months later. I recognized him from that day.
He said, You know as weird as this sounds, that girlfriend of
yours really inspired me to be the man I want to be. Who cares if
Im 51-years-old? I actually felt alive again that day. Its weird
because the woman I was with and am currently getting a divorce
from discouraged everything I wanted to do.
He was ready to unlock his mojo because he decided to go after his
passion.
He became a writer for an online blog, which he made enough
money from that he could be at home. He met a woman who was a
fan of his work. The rest was history. Plus, she was a lot more
enjoyable than his ex-wife.
The point is having passion is going to fuel your mojo
tremendously. You will come off more attractive to women in
general. Maybe you will not get that one specific woman, but you
will become an overall more attractive guy to a whole bunch of
women.
The women you are naturally compatible with will be attracted
to the excitement you bring to the table when you talk about
33
34
The difference between the guys who are good with women is the
way they react. The reaction that wins is not reacting to her
rejection. Her rejection means nothing about you as a person.
There is no reason to let one woman not liking you ruin your entire
love life.
The problem with focusing on what women think of you is that you
are making it much more likely that you will be rejected in
the future. The reason wont be because something is wrong
with you, but when you realize rejection means nothing
personal about you, you are going to have a mindset that
turns her on.
You Are Always Taking Action
The third biggest factor in unlocking your invincible mojo is to
always be taking action towards that happiness and comfort.
Women like men who are decisive, not wishy-washy.
What is a decision? Its nothing more than a firm answer. The
idea behind a decision boils down to making a choice and being
COMFORTABLE with it.
It can be in the form of a yes or no, or a choice you make for a
date location or an opinion someone asks your input on. The
bottom line is being indecisive is not attractive because it is
biologically wired in women to feel attracted to men who
trust their instincts.
Being unable to choose and be comfortable with your choice is
going to come off like you arent able to trust your instincts.
You might not know the right move, but you make a move and
figure it out as you go along because you know that being
indecisive is pointless.
35
Another key point about being decisive is you dont wish and want.
Instead, go for what you want in life, not what you think you
should want or are told you should want.
You cant just expect your dream to pop out of the sky without
even taking action.
Instead of looking at every interaction with a woman as an
evaluation of your attractiveness and some kind of pass-fail test,
which just spirals into more anxiety and unattractiveness, just
focus on being in the moment and how enjoyable it feels to you. If
its good, you stay. If its not, you leave.
It means nothing about you. In the worst-case scenario, nothing
happens. In the best-case scenario, she is attracted to you and
the more time you spend with her, the more attracted shell
become.
When you think about the idea of being rejected as a measure of
your attractiveness, you end up making a way bigger deal of this
than it is.
Instead, if you want to unlock your mojo and really be a man of
action who decides to go about his day without needing a
woman to approve or disapprove of him to feel good or bad,
you actually make women who otherwise wouldnt be
attracted become attracted because of how you take action.
If shes attracted, it will be because you had mojo, and because
you stuck with making mojo your focus, her attraction will keep
growing and growing.
Drop the bad belief and instead simply do what feels
comfortable and happy. If you feel nervous, dont keep talking to
a woman. If you feel uncomfortable, move on.
36
Being a turn off happens if you have this fear ingrained in you.
Anthony admitted his FEAR was that he would not be good
enough and he would scare women off.
He wanted to be accepted instead of rejected. He was afraid
of seeming like he cared too much about what others
thought of him, but at the core of his attitude was a fear of
being exposed for who he really is.
He did not want to be known as the nice guy or pushover because
he spent the majority of his time on earth being the nice guy who
finished last. He was convinced women hated nice guys and love
assholes.
So, he adopted this persona of not caring and spouting off to
anyone who would listen.
This was the opposite of what unlocks your mojo. Mojo means
your
natural
attractiveness,
which
requires
PURE
INTENTIONS. Anthony had an AGENDA.
His agenda was to SEEM a certain way. He did not want to offend,
but by going out of his way to seem like he did not care about
offending, he repelled women anyway.
The heart of what it means to have pure intentions is to follow
actions that feel good to you on a pure level not because you
are numb to reality by doing drugs or drinking alcohol. The
feeling is not going to be an artificially generated high or
low.
This is something you might not understand at first, but I am going
to introduce the concept now so that you can see how it connects
as the book progresses.
Addiction is when a person chases a high and has
overwhelming relief when finally able to get a fix. The
38
problem is the fix is never enough, and the addict is left wondering,
When do I get to have more?
This is like a guy imagining a woman wanting to be his girlfriend as
the ultimate relief,, but then as soon as he doubts whether she is
into him, his mind will go to when is she going to want to see me
next?
This kills the moment-to-moment interaction because the main
thing on your mind is about how to get a certain reaction
from her. This is kind of like emotional intoxication.
Causing an emotional reaction in a woman is going to be the
gateway to her mind and body. This theme will be repeated
throughout the book.
Im just pointing it out here so you know that it will show up and
how important it is.
Emotional Intoxication
When you want a woman to respond to you and text you back, as
you eagerly wait for her to reassure you she still loves or likes you,
you are on the edge of your seat frantically waiting for relief.
This is a toxic dynamic, which creates an illusion that you must be
in love.
This is nothing more than a cycle of searching for a high,
getting the fix the fix never being enough and so you
chase more and more with this hope that someday it will be
enough.
Chasing her and getting her approval doesnt fulfill you, but
you think, oh if only I do ___ and if only ____ happens
then everything is going to be okay.
39
41
42
Once you tune in with your mojo, all youre doing is letting your
actual personality flourish and thrive without apology. Mojo
will have positive effects on your entire life, even outside of dating.
Its like starting to lift a lot of weights. You put in the time and the
results are guaranteed. And everyone will start to notice.
When you allow negativity and bad thoughts to have any presence
in your life, you are poisoning yourself and the people around you.
You actually stink of negativity when you let it into your life. Its
like having a dead animal hanging around your neck. No matter
what else you do, even if you were Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp, that
dead squirrel festering around your neck is going to be the ONLY
thing a woman will see or remember about you.
The first step is to start getting rid of all your negative thinking.
Negative thinking is the seed of which all bad things grow from. It
will take over every part of you like a virus. It will be visible,
audible, it will emanate from you.
The good news is, you can to stop all these terrible thoughts dead
in their tracks. You have to cut them off the second they start up.
You have the ability to deny these negative thoughts from
having any place in your life, and its easier than you think.
Not engaging in negative and self-defeating thoughts will
give you an instant super power as a man, regardless of the
situations surrounding you in your life.
Protect Your Happiness and Outlook on Life
It would be your most valuable possession, and thats exactly what
this needs to be to you.
This happy and positive outlook needs to be a part of every
moment of your life. It needs to be the first impulse you have when
reacting to anything you encounter on a daily basis.
45
46
It was like staying at work for a few extra hours. Because even
though we werent there, it was still all we discussed, so we might
as well have just stayed in that soul-sucking office. It had become
my entire personality and character. It was a big drag on everyone
around me.
Get rid of Negative Influences in Your Life
I realized the only thing I could do was to do the same thing my
non-work friends had done. I stopped spending my time with those
people.
I didnt heartlessly abandon those friendships, but I had to make a
choice: be able to attract the women I want, or continue repulsing
them by remaining loyal to a group of negative people who were
enabling my own bad habits.
I chose not to participate in anything remotely negative. If that
meant not going out for drinks and having that dark cloud over us,
then that was what it took.
None of them seemed to care about changing their habits. They
were either so stuck in it that they couldnt seem to stop, or they
were simply unwilling to see the effect it was having on them.
Negativity is addicting. The cycle is vicious, and to break
free you have to be motivated and make a consistent choice
to not feed into it. Sooner or later, it will be a natural part of
you.
Getting rid of those negative outside influences will give you
an immediate Mojo boost. There will be extra energy left
over when you stop feeding into useless negative thoughts
that are wasting your time and draining all of your
attractiveness to women.
47
You can find peace, but you have to give yourself the permission
to. Anyway, this chapter was an introduction to a lot of the core
concepts that will be repeated throughout the book. If you are
confused right now, dont worry. You will fully grasp everything by
the end.
If you take away only two things from this, here is what to
remember: align yourself with what feels comfortable and
happy in your life.
Mojo is becoming a part of your life. Get excited! I know this might
seem too simple or too good to be true, but just wait youll look
back and remember these moments when everything in your life
does a complete 180 for the better.
The reason youve bought this book is because you have had hard
times with women just like I used to. You might be thinking yeah,
this is great, but youre having success with women so its easy for
you to say.
Remember, the reason I discovered and unlocked this amazing
concept called mojo is because I had terrible experiences with
women. And the ones that werent terrible werent that fulfilling
either.
You didnt have this book in the past. You didnt realize the
incredible magic of your mojo that has been right in front of you
the whole time, waiting for you to unleash it. Now you know, now
you have been let in on the secret so you can go out and start
living the life with women you never thought was possible before.
Being unsuccessful in the past DOES NOT mean you will fail
in the future. In fact, having those failures and bad times helps
you learn and will make you a thousand times more receptive to
the incredible, mind-blowing happiness you will feel now that you
will start succeeding in your life with mojo.
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Chapter 1 Checklist
Finding your mojo
o Most powerful thing to attract women
o You have it already you just need to know how to unlock it
What is mojo?
o Enjoying life to the fullest
o Only thinking and doing things that make you comfortable and
happy
Getting mojo
o Understand that if you arent happy with yourself, no one will
be
o Women sense negativity and it kills attraction
o Get rid of all negative thoughts and influences you have
control over
o Be comfortable with your life and surroundings at all times
o Take part in conversations with women only if it makes you
happy
o Drop the shame and stay true to your natural thoughts and
feelings
Take Action
o Dont dwell on your frustrating past
o Think only in the moment to make a better future
o Only doing things that make you happy and comfortable
o Taking the natural path you feel comfortable
o Dont try to be thinks you arent
o Past failures dont mean future failures
Concerns
o Confident approaching women, but bad at talking to them
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Mojo + bad breath = Women wont even let you finish saying
hello before they run screaming to find fresh air.
The next time I saw Nate, I kept what Kate said in mind. And, wow,
was she right. WOW. The second he opened his mouth to say,
Hello, a hot desert wind flowed from his mouth. It made me think
of what a petrified mummy must smell like after being exhumed
from a coffin after thousands of years. I wanted to physically push
him away, and hide from him until the end of time. Im not
exaggerating.
I realized that was exactly what women were thinking. It wasnt
anything about him except his death breath. All of his good
qualities were being completely blocked out by his violating mouthscent.
Lucky for all of us, this is one of the easiest things to prevent, but it
is absolutely essential. This is a deal-breaker for women.
Your Dentist is Right
Brushing your teeth daily will completely eliminate this attractionkiller. You should brush your teeth at least twice a day. Brush them
thoroughly for a few minutes each time. And just like your dentist
says, dont forget to floss.
Brush your tongue as part of this ritual every time. Lots of bacteria
set up camp on your tongue, so kick them out. Use mouthwash
after you brush and floss.
Another time to brush is anytime youre going to be meeting people
or will have the potential to talk to a woman. Just a quick once over
before you leave is an absolute must. It also helps to carry mints or
breath spray with you if youre going to be out and about. It will
keep that minty fresh feeling and scent strong.
Heres your new equation.
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You should already smell great because youre showering and using
deodorant and brushing.
I surveyed thousands of women and found that they didnt really
have much thought on cologne. It just doesnt matter much. The
one thing they had an opinion on was when guys layered it on too
strong, or if the scent was something that bothered them.
Ending thought on cologne: theres nothing wrong with putting a
little dash of it on, but overall it just doesnt matter much.
Oh, and NEVER wear cologne to cover up any bad scent you
might be emanating. Big no-no.
So lets get back to Nate. This poor guy seemed to have an invisible
cloud swirling around him that instantly repelled women, but he
started following these simple steps, and something amazing
happened.
He started brushing his teeth a couple times a day. He brushed his
tongue, he flossed, he brought breath mints with him everywhere.
The next time I saw him talk to a woman, it was like magic. He had
her giggling and leaning in closer. She was even blushing a little
bit. He had broken down that simple barrier.
Like I said, he had a great personality, and women even liked him
from afar, but that death breath was killing the attraction swiftly
and completely.
Now he was brushing his teeth, showering and wearing deodorant
and things had completely changed for him. He was no longer
Pigpen.
He was back to being Nate, a guy with a lot of great qualities and
personality that women were actually able to enjoy because they
werent getting punched in the nose with his sarcophagus-breath
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and onion patch body odor. His outer aura had been cleared and
was no longer getting in the way of his mojo.
Your Invincible Avatar
Now that weve eliminated one of the biggest attraction-killers out
there, I want to tell you how to get women to notice you the
second you walk into the room.
I never had the basic issues that Nate had with his overall hygiene.
I always brushed and showered, but I still felt like women werent
really noticing me. Lucky for me, my good friend Kate was there to
bail me out.
Her observation was simple: I didnt really have any style. She
didnt mean that I needed to be on the cutting edge of fashion. I
just didnt put any effort into the way I looked, and that had an
enormous effect on how I was coming across to women.
There were a couple steps I was able to take to instantly stand out
to women and create attraction before I even walked up to them. It
got them to notice me before I did anything. It was like getting a
head start in a race. I was already at an advantage.
Get a Little Style Going
Putting a little effort into how you dress will give a woman
something to be attracted to instantly. This will make you feel fresh
and more confident and comfortable, adding some serious fuel to
your mojo.
You will also stand out from other guys, because most dudes out
there do not realize how important and easy it is to improve your
style. They assume it is expensive and mysterious.
The great news is that getting a good look going doesnt take an
incredible sense of fashion or an expensive closet. You just have to
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follow a few simple rules to improve your outer image and get her
lusting for you.
Youll notice that women will even start approaching you, because
your personal sense of style communicates confidence and comfort,
things that you already know are absolutely essential in getting a
woman interested in you.
One basic thing to avoid is wearing dirty clothes. I know it might
sound basic, but many of us guys dont realize that women notice
things like that. Never, ever wear stained or wrinkled clothing.
Anytime youre talking to a woman, you should be wearing clothes
that are clean and havent been worn since the last time they were
washed. Wearing dirty or wrinkled clothing will turn off a
woman in the same way if you have the death breath we
already talked about.
Putting some effort into how you dress will help establish your
overall look and presence. It will add to your overall essence and
give women even more to be attracted to.
This is one of the few times I will tell you to look at movies for
inspiration. You also want to look at a celebrity who can be your
avatar.
Look at a celebrity that has some similar attributes to you. Im
talking about height, weight, skin tone, hair color. It doesnt have
anything to do with how your faces compare, just all of the other
details that make him similar to you.
Celebrities have it great. They have money and management that
take care of all these things for them. They deal with designers and
fashion experts whenever they step out into the public eye. The
great thing is that you can get some incredible free fashion advice
from watching them.
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Are you a good old southern boy with a flair for cowboy boots and
big belts? Great! Stock up on those items Are you a bad boy who
feels best in a leather jacket, jeans and a white shirt? Go for it.
Even if this is NOT how you are, feel free to borrow from the
archetype of what Hollywood shows women to be the attractive
male. Think about it even if she rejects you, its not you, its this
character you are borrowing from.
Just like everything that concerns your mojo, the point is to find the
style that makes you feel comfortable and happy with yourself. It
isnt about worrying about what she is going to think about your
personal style.
Its about finding the style that works for you, because that is what
is going to create attraction for her.
When you find the style that fits your personality and looks,
you will instantly feel more comfortable and women will
start seeing and feeling your mojo the moment they see you.
Dont Worry If You Arent A Fashion Expert
One of my biggest concerns when I realized I needed to improve
my style was that I had NO IDEA where to start. Even after looking
at celebrities and copying them, I still felt like I could use a little
help.
Ask a woman! This could be as simple as consulting a female friend
or family member who has a sense of style. The best way is to ask
a sales lady at a clothing store. They love being asked for their
opinions. Women get a tremendous sense of satisfaction from
making something (or someone) look better.
Most guys have NEVER done this and they are totally missing out
on their potential to attract women just by simply adjusting a few
things with their clothing choices. Youre trying to be attractive to a
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First of all, you need to understand the way attraction works with
women. There are many facets to a womans mind and what
creates attraction for them.
One of the biggest factors is wired into her brain in a way that has
existed since cavemen were walking around throwing rocks at
wooly mammoths.
Women like to feel protected. They inherently like to feel that they
are in the presence of a man who can protect them and take care
of any problems or threats that may arise.
Since the beginning of time, women have filled the role of giving
birth and taking care of their babies. Back in the day, things were
dangerous on different levels. There were animals and other groups
of people that potentially posed a threat to the woman and her
baby.
They were completely biologically drawn to a man that could
protect them from all those scary threats. There is a piece of that
which has not faded with time.
Now dont worry, you dont need to remember a laundry list of body
language signs that you have to constantly obsess over.
In the most fundamental sense, women determine whether or not a
man can protect them simply based on observing how comfortable
and present he is (notice how closely that parallels some of the
concepts I mentioned that make up your mojo).
Imagine this: A woman sees two guys. One of the guys is nervous,
fidgeting and it seems like hes worrying and obsessing over things
in his mind. The other guy is relaxed, aware of his surrounds and
happy.
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The woman will perceive the first guy as incapable of being able to
protect her and she will perceive the second guy as capable of
protecting her.
Its all biologically-programmed stuff, but to her it just feels like if a
life-threatening situation presented itself, the first guy wouldnt
survive and the second guy would. After all, the first guy wasnt
even OK when nothing bad was happening and the second guy just
seemed at ease with life, which she interprets as confidence that he
can defend himself and protect her in a worst case scenario.
So just remember: the most crucial rule of body language is to
make sure you feel loose, happy, relaxed, comfortable, at ease,
etc.
Your mood is the most important aspect of your
attractiveness; make it your highest priority.
Lets talk about some specifics
Great Body Language is Easier than You Think
Women want to feel that sense of security, and the great thing is
that it doesnt have anything to do with height or how much you
can bench press. It is about how you carry yourself, your body
language.
It is incredibly easy to communicate amazing, confident body
language. This is incredibly important, because not having great
body language will turn her off and make you come across as
insecure and weak. In other words, it will drain your mojo and
make you much less attractive.
One of the first things you need to do is stand tall. This isnt about
height. Its about not being slouched over like a mad scientists
assistant. Being slouched and having bad posture makes it look like
youre afraid of something or hiding from something.
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That instantly creates a void in the confidence and mojo you exude,
even if you have a lot of mojo. She wont be able to see it,
because you having terrible posture will cover it up.
Another huge factor in communicating great body language is eye
contact. It should become a natural part of how you act around her.
Never ever let your eyes dart around the room, or take quick
glances at her before staring at the ground. Take a look at
someone that does that. It makes everyone uncomfortable,
regardless of the situation.
Dont stare her down, but dont be afraid to lock eyes with her. If
you stare her down, you come off creepy. Creepy is a label you
never want to have, because a woman will automatically close the
door on anything more with you if she feels you are creepy.
Another important point to note about your eyes is to never
nervously let your eyes dart around the room.
What are you afraid of? Do you think a SWAT team is about to bust
into the room and take you down? Or a stealthy ninja assassin is
about to arrive? Of course not So dont communicate that with the
way you use your eyes. Youre there to see her and talk to her, so
dont focus your eyes on other pointless things in the room.
You also need to loosen up and smile. Trust me, guys so many of
us dont realize how little we smile. It is a huge turn-off to women
to be around a guy who cant loosen up and keep his facial
expression light and relaxed. It will make him seem tense, unhappy
and lead to killing off his mojo.
A simple way to do this is to think about funny things in your head.
Dont start telling her jokes or anything, just think of a really funny
movie or situation you experienced. It is another common theme
with your mojo.
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You will emerge with an entirely new mindset that is going to make
meeting women the most fun and fulfilling thing you have ever
done.
Chapter 2 Checklist
Your Outer Game
Basic Hygiene
o Avoid bad breath brush your teeth several times a day
Floss and use Mouthwash
Carry mints or breath spray
o Showering and make sure you always smell clean and fresh
Always wear deodorant
Find your avatar
o Dress in a way that compliments you
Get opinions from salesperson or female friend
Look at celebrities who look similar to you and copy their
style
Model yourself visually after people whose style you respect
Mojo body language
o Women are very sensitive to body language
o Bad body language = Unattractive
o Masculinity comes from confident body language
Women are attracted to confidence
Body language specifics
o Stand tall and proud
o Never slouch
o Make comfortable eye contact
o Never let your eyes dart around
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but what would happen if you tied his legs together and shoved him
out on the court? He wouldnt be able to beat a grade school team.
That is what your mojo would be like without learning all the
secrets to perfect your inner game.
Perfecting your inner game is the final step in getting you ready to
start approaching women.
Dont Let Your Mojo Down Now
In the next chapter we are going to get into the specific details on
what to do when you are actually face-to-face with a beautiful
woman.
But those amazing secrets and tips arent going to matter if you let
your mindset overshadow all the other amazing qualities you have.
And you know by now that anything that hurts your mojo is
absolutely destroying your chance to meet an amazing, sexy,
beautiful woman.
The way you think inside is the most important key to your
ability to attract women. Having a weak mindset is going to
repel women every time. Being able to follow these simple
guidelines is going to turn her on in a way that sports cars,
chiseled features and a boatload of money cant.
You Must Have a Strong Inner Game to Turn Her On
Getting your inner game perfected is so easy that its a crime more
men dont realize it, but this is great news for you because you are
going to be one of the elite that know these incredible secrets.
This is as simple as starting to think the right thoughts in your
head. This has nothing to do with something youre going to say to
her, or things you have to rehearse to get the wording right. Its
about changing the script that your inner monologue reads.
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The problem is, youre getting advice from people who are either
not aware that the advice they are giving is wrong or youre being
tricked by the advertising industry that sells things by planting
insecurities to make money.
The point is if you want to be attractive without even having
to open your mouth, first, try to think of all the ideas you
have about what looks attractive and what doesnt.
So-called experts are notorious for giving awful advice that
sabotages you (without you even realizing it). You will be
shocked at how destructive this advice really is.
So what does confident look like? Is it some kind of walk? Is it a
way of talking, dressing and acting?
Pause for a moment. Just let all the things you think go, and realize
the only way to move forward is to accept that whatever you think
right now might or might not be true but no matter what, you
have to come into this next chapter with a blank slate in terms of
ideas and thoughts about whats supposed to work.
The reason is because if you dont wipe the slate clean, so to speak,
these nonverbal attraction secrets that seriously will be a game
changer for you if and when you do it in your daily life but
again, only if you wipe the slate clean and are ready to at
least consider this from an open mind.
First, lets quickly review what youve learned up until this
point so you will grasp the material fully.
Weve covered some basics on how to look better and carry
yourself better, but as I will constantly remind you, the way you
physically look or carry yourself is just one piece of the puzzle.
(Dont forget: Michael Jordan losing to ten year olds. Kids that still
cry when they scrape their knee. Not a pretty image).
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Branching out from this myth, many men have taken the low road
and acted like a jerk or purposely been offensive to be one of the
cool, bad boys. This is a sabotaging strategy born out of that
myth.
The problem is that you think you dont have what it takes so you
have to form some forced plan to fix the problem. You dont realize
that you DO have what it takes, and it doesnt require you doing
anything that isnt already naturally a part of you.
Youre doing something to change your true character because
youre too worried about how you appear in others peoples eyes.
Your own opinion of yourself and how you think you come across
to others is completely different than the reality of the situation.
Youre blinded by these images of whatever bad results youve had
up until this point or maybe you used to be fine, but lately its like
you hit a rut and think its all downhill from here
I know its hard to believe such a seemingly big thing can have
such a simple fix, but the truth is its shockingly simple once you
realize what specific mistake youve been making.
So many men fall into this trap, but the good news is you will
never have to be sabotaged by it again. Thats right. Most
men just dont realize the mistake they are making and never will
realize it. Like I said before, youre one of the lucky ones because
you are reading this right now.
Trust me, guys just dont realize this. I know Im repeating myself,
but its such a key point that will be a game changer for you.
There is nothing wrong with your nature or who you are. You
dont need to change your core self because your mojo is going to
be coming from your core self.
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The few men who do know the secret were either lucky enough to
have good role models growing up or happened to do things that
were right.
Its not like there was a manual for this when you were growing up.
Even if there was, the truth is more likely than not, itd be
destructive rather than constructive. Yep. The ones that
existed were pushing you completely in the wrong direction.
Like Ive said before, I spent most of my life trying to figure all
these things out so good guys like you could benefit quickly and
easily.
All you have to do is recognize the great mindsets that you have
and improve and build on those. This will be easier than you think.
It just takes some concentration on the things Im about to tell you.
Youll be able to go on autopilot from there on out, because it will
become your new belief. It will quickly grow into your permanent
mindset.
Good Mindsets are Essential
The reason you have to have a great mindset is because this is
whats going to turn on a woman more than anything else. She will
be begging for you to take her home with you. You cannot get a
girlfriend if you do not have this part.
If you continue with bad mindsets, or an inner game that is only
halfway there, you will continue to be frustrated with your love life.
The reason youre here is to get a girlfriend, right?
To finally have the results you want, get the woman you want in
way you want without having to jump through hoops and do a
bunch of circus tricks?
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you are than the next guy and you try to seem like someone
youre not. Again, thanks to movies, people often think tearing
other guys down while pumping yourself up is the way to go if you
want to turn a woman on.
It repulses a woman when a man BRAGS as if she cares about the
amount of weights he lifts, who scores the most points in a game or
gets the biggest promotion at the office.
Women dont care about this stuff. Women want to hear about
emotional experiences, which means you are better off
being human and showing your imperfections while being
comfortable with them. This happens to be true confidence.
When you are arrogant, you are afraid to expose any
weakness or flaw.
When I say women want to hear about emotional experiences, Im
not talking about diving into some dramatic, tear-jerking, painful
story. Im saying that she wants to experience what youre talking
about as youre talking about it.
She wants to feel what youre talking about and in that way, a
conversation with a woman should be looked like primarily as an
emotion-delivery vehicle. Women crave when a man can take their
emotions on a rollercoaster and doing so is actually quite easy, as
we will talk about in a little bit.
In terms of talking with women, you view any flaw as bad and try
to make her feel like youre perfect. The reality is women dont care
about perfect. Women want a man who can let her into their
hearts. This means a woman wants a man comfortable with
vulnerability. Men who will go there with her come off
confident.
Men often believe going way over the top to impress and win a
woman over is going to be an effective way to come off
confident. This is another myth that sabotages so many men.
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This is why being able to get women to want to date you is not
about obsessing over the future outcome you think has to happen
because it ruins the actual game.
The tennis match is being played in the moment, just like a
date is happening in the moment with her. It takes two
people to go on a date.
When the ball is in your court, you have the power to hit the shot
however you want. When you put the ball in her court, youre
letting her show you her position.
Having a natural rhythm is a core principal of dating and
beyond.
This applies to conversations, whether casual or serious.
Having a natural flow is how you want to be and not because
you think it impresses her.
Coming off confident is about being comfortable. Being
comfortable shows you dont need her approval to be at ease. This
plays a huge role in how she is trained to treat you.
A woman is looking at what kind of confidence you have and
gauging how you feel about yourself based on whether you can
admit youre not always strong or if you try to hide your true
nature just to make a woman happy.
Youre not looking for a reaction.
You dont need her to confirm why you are worthy of
attention. You dont feel like her opinion means anything
about you as a person, because it doesnt.
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She was looking at a guy at the table next to us and I could tell she
was eavesdropping on the conversation he was having with the
woman next to him.
I noticed he was sweating bullets and stuttering as if he kept trying
to come up with something to say and wouldn't give it a rest.
I had a feeling Blair would have an opinion, but surprisingly, during
dinner she didn't say anything.
I couldn't help wonder if he was ever going to relax and just speak
without needing to prove some kind of point.
"Hey. I know that the only route to being a person of value is by
having certain types of success. My daughter is a senior at
Northwestern and is on her college soccer team.
I know that I raised my kids well. But I also know how important
health and fitness is. I work out at least twice a week and we are
members of a country club."
That is a summary of how the conversation went.
She looked like she was falling asleep.
When Blair and I left the restaurant, I had to ask her: "what was up
with you staring at that guy?"
"I felt sorry for him. He was acting like such a turn off that I
guarantee that woman will never want to be with him. He had Zero
confidence."
I interrupted, "what is confidence, exactly?"
This was a question I spent countless hours wondering the answer
to, so I had to at least throw the thought out there. When I asked
her what confidence means, my mindset was that my only "goal"
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was to enjoy the conversation and do things that feel fun and
enjoyable, while rejecting things that don't.
I remember it really clicked for me that night what confidence truly
means.
"Eric. Stop. Analyzing what it means is what makes it fake and
being fake turns women off. Come on that guy for example kept
bragging on and on like he had to prove something but guys who I
want to, well do things with are just being who they are and
aren't afraid to own that. It sounds stupid, I guess. But that's
legitimately what women find really fucking hot."
"So, Blair, you're telling me confidence just magically happens
when you do things you actually have fun doing and share that
experience with the woman you're with?"
She looked at me with piercing and sensual eyes before she said,
"Yes. Absolutely. But it is also a huge turn off when a guy is trying
to be cool or like one of the pack because he's trying to fit some
image."
So was the guy Blair observed turning the woman off because he
was not confident enough?
The answer is yes. The truth behind what repelled this woman
actually is his lack of confidence. The definition of confidence is a
lot simpler than you think but easy to get wrong. So that's why it's
so important that you really understand the difference between true
confidence and arrogance, because arrogance automatically turns
women off (and blocks your mojo).
Arrogance is when you try to seem a certain way that doesn't align
with your inner state. If you feel uncomfortable, you wouldn't go
along with things that don't feel unpleasant or un-enjoyable.
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the sidelines, where you can do nothing but watch other people
getting the women you should be getting.
Just like with all of my secrets, it isnt as hard as you think to get
rid of these problems.
The main thing to improving this mindset is to just accept that
sexuality is within all of us and leave it at that. You never try to
hide it or mask it, but you dont shove it into her face, either.
When youre in a conversation where sex comes up, you dont have
to do much to say the right thing or react in the right way.
Well, I am a man guilty as charged. (Said with a smile).
This is a simple little phrase that makes the most of this mindset.
The subject of sex came up and you didnt try to hide your sexual
intentions. Be lighthearted, but genuine without going to either
extreme. If you dont want her to be turned off, avoid doing it in
a way that is too extreme.
If you say it in a way that makes her feel pressured, she
wont want to have sex with you. Never think you are
entitled to having sex with her.
Here is an example of what NOT to do. One guy who ended up with
restraining orders taken out against him would say things like,
God, I just love sex. Who doesnt? Im thinking about it right now,
actually. Oh, and what do you know? I think you could probably tell
if you just direct your eyes below my belt buckle.
This would be a statement that is just taking it too far. Theres no
need to announce it so bluntly. Let her fill in the blanks with her
own imagination. Women love to do that.
The other big mistake guys often make is trying to hide it
completely. They get nervous or flustered and feel awkward if
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anything sexual comes up. This will land you directly in the friend
zone, or worse, creep her out.
Another thing you have to realize is trying to not focus on sex
even though you cant stop thinking about it makes you
distracted. When you get distracted, you lose. You can even be so
focused on avoiding the subject that your mind drifts and gets
distracted and you start losing your mojo.
Your mojo starts dying because you are compromising who you
really are. You love sex; you want sex, so why would you cover
that up? Do you cover up the fact that you like a certain band she
likes? No, of course not. You have that in common, why would you
hide it? Youd only be detracting from the potential the two of you
have.
So never steal from your true essence and mojo by covering up the
fact that you love sex and want to have it with her. Just dont be
the belt buckle guy you just read about.
All you have to do is be comfortable and open about your intentions
without making it creepy and overbearing.
I think youre beautiful. Your skin is so pretty.
Great!
Wow, I want to know if your ass looks that good without that skirt
getting in the way.
Absolutely creepy!
Sex? Oh, I dont know what do you think? I mean, I guess I like
it.
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sure, but Im pretty sure that guy had a hard time getting women.
(Just a hunch)
Turn On Your Pure Intentions
The agenda is vanquished and your intentions are pure when
you start living in the moment and nothing else.
When you are no longer harboring a hundred different thoughts and
motives, you will get rid of the mojo killing energy that
automatically turns a woman off.
She will no longer be wondering what you are trying to get from
her, if you are safe to be around, if youre about to pull out your
chainsaw and mask. She will immediately start feeling that comfort
that you feel and will be able to focus on you.
I was once on a date with a woman that went TERRIBLY. Okay, I
had more than one of those. Thats why this book exists, but this
one was EXTRA terrible because my motives and agendas were
taking over and ruining my mojo.
I had no clue what to do because the idea of her knowing the way I
felt about her made me feel nauseous.
Admit to actually wanting to have sex with her? Id have rather
died. Actually be the way I naturally am? Id rather Mike Tyson
punch me in the face repeatedly than show her an uncool side
of myself.
Looking back, I know how wrong this mindset was. Recall from
Chapter 1 how being concerned with what is popular and cool is a
losing mindset you should not buy into.
Anyway, back to my disaster of a date I was getting more and
more nervous, because I was scared shed figure out I was hiding
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And when you are too uncertain about a suggestion you come off
as weak and needy. Remember, she wants that natural confidence.
A step in either direction can completely kill the mojo, but its very
easy to stay on track with this mindset.
I learned on many dates that all I had to do was relax. I wasnt
trying to seem confident. Trying to seem confident is a major and
automatic turn off. I wasnt trying to come off as some leader or
alpha male. I realized I was just being my best self.
My only thought was I will see if she is fun to talk to or not. If she
is, I will continue to engage in the conversation. If she isnt, I
wont. If a topic gets boring I will change topics. I will not try to be
anyone other than the person I am. Either things would either work
out or not.
Stop Waiting For Her Approval
Another big way to access your mojo is realize her opinion is
not what youre worried about. She needs to qualify herself
to you.
This is an essential mindset because when you stop waiting around
and looking for every woman to give you her approval, you start to
exude confidence and mojo. Women are going to start wondering
what makes you so confident. You wont be this needy guy
struggling for approval and they are going to want to know what
you have going on that has made you this way.
Youre going to start seeing women going out of their way to
qualify to you. That means that the tables are suddenly going to
be turned. Youll no longer be desperately trying to impress her.
Shes going to be going out of her way to impress you!
I truly settled in with this mindset when I stopped taking things so
personally. I just relaxed and let things happen naturally. Some
women liked me and some didnt. That happens to every single
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You will start feeling more confident and attractive to all women
because you have options in your life. You will see that not just
one, but multiple women feel attraction for you.
You can have a woman in your life that you are more interested in
than the others. She can be the one you really want and the one
you get. This is made possible if you realize she isnt the only one
that you could have if you wanted.
You accomplish this by realizing that you are desirable and valuable
to women. She has to prove why shes worth your time. This is
called QUALIFICATION. This mindset makes all the difference
because she feels like she has to invest time and energy into
impressing you.
You cause her to emotionally react and put her energy into trying
to convince you why shes good enough. I am NOT saying to do this
in a mean way or to hurt her. This is absolutely NOT going to turn
her on. Being cruel and trying to make a woman feel bad about
herself is NEVER going to win her heart.
All I am saying is let her prove her worth to YOU. Dont go around
trying to impress women and trying to prove yourself. Women want
a man who knows he doesnt have to prove himself to her. Heres
what it comes down to: she knows that she has to be good enough
for you, because there are other women who would gladly take her
place.
Youre someone that women want. You are clearly bringing
something to the table since you have options. She suddenly
wants to prove herself to you. She starts to make things very easy
for you. You can choose her, or you can decide that maybe you
want to choose someone else.
You have a newfound control over her that you never had before.
The power of choice will have a tremendous impact on your
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Youre showing them a great option that can influence their opinion.
Have you ever really loved a song? Did you tell people, Oh, I dont
know. Check this out. It could be better.
You would never say that because it isnt true. Plus it makes no
sense to insult or downplay something you love and want to share
with other people. So many guys out there simply dont realize this
cause theyve never thought of it in that way. Most guys never
think about it at all.
The exact same thing is true with a woman you want to be with.
You believe in yourself, you know youre good enough for her, so
the only thing to do is assume she will feel the same way. You give
her every reason to sense your mojo and be attracted to it.
Assumptions Are Powerful
There were times when I didnt want a woman to know who I really
was and all the things that were actually important to me. I was
convinced she wouldnt like me if she knew me. It was the root of
all my problems with this mindset. There were plenty of things in
my life that I wanted to improve. I wasnt crazy about my job at
the time and I hated the apartment I was living in.
I had convinced myself that I wasnt that great at anything. I pretty
much figured there was something wrong with my genetic makeup.
I was 100% convinced I wasnt worth a womans attention. Truth
is, I wasnt in a great place in life. I felt sorry for myself.
Having the mindset that you arent worth loving or even
liking will not only repel women, but it will repel people in
general.
Once again you are creating a sense of neediness that will surround
you and stink just like that cloud of dust that surrounds Pigpen, as
we talked about earlier. One of the reasons that it turns women off
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and
feel
that
and
When you fear the worst, you lose the woman before you even
begin to get to know her. Letting this mindset have such a strong
presence in your mind will sink you every time so you have to get it
out now.
You start to come across as needy because you need her to react a
certain way for you to feel okay. Even worse, you start trying to
impress her or do and say things you wouldnt normally do to cover
your insecurity up.
You start to PRETEND that you dont feel this way and suddenly you
are coming across insincere. Your mojo is screaming out in agony
and she cant wait to run away.
Doing things like faking your confidence or overcompensating will
backfire every single time, because a woman will be able to sense
that you are not being yourself and that you are not comfortable
with yourself. It is better to admit being nervous than try to
play it cool and laugh it off.
This is so obvious in the eyes of women, but unfortunately most
guys just dont seem to realize it most of the time. Once again,
youre getting let in on a secret that will put you way ahead
of 99% of guys because now you know that this is
something to get rid of in your life.
All you have to do so this gets removed in your life is to start
assuming youre good enough. Dont look for her approval or try to
figure out how she feels about you. Start telling yourself that you
are good enough and allow her to feel the same way. Dont think
any further into it.
Say to yourself, I am good enough, and move on. Dont spend
another second dwelling on it or questioning it.
I know this sounds insane, but it works. Im not some new age guy,
either. This is just too powerful for me not to mention it.
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Things you can do to make this much easier are to pursue other
things in your life aside from getting women. This will guide you to
figuring out your passion in life. Spending all your time on
women WILL make you less interesting and will put your entire
worth and purpose on whether that woman likes you or not. Youre
putting yourself against impossible odds then.
Another issue with focusing on her opinion is if you think a
woman being your girlfriend will somehow make you a
better man and mean something about you, youre mistaken.
Whether good or bad, being able to have a hot, amazing
woman as your girlfriend is not going to make you any
better of a man.
Dont sit at home wondering what women think about you.
Assume they will like you and want to talk to you. Then, do
things with your time that make you happy. Do things that make
you feel like you are accomplishing something. This builds
confidence. Doing things consistently and practicing good habits is
how you make something a natural part of who you are.
We talked about hobbies and recreational activities earlier. There is
something about accomplishment that makes a man feel like he has
purpose. Women crave a man who has a sense of going on a
mission to win in the world and take on a passion without
caring about what other people think. This is one of the
biggest forces that unlocks your mojo and makes even the
hottest women swoon.
You have to spend your time doing these things so you will feel that
ambition and accomplishment. Pretty soon you will start noticing
that you feel better about yourself. You will see that you are able to
accomplish things in different aspects of your life you might never
have realized. Youll like yourself and she will too.
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This makes her naturally drawn to you because she senses you can
protect her, you can be counted on.
This goes back to the caveman factor. Women have been
programmed to look to a man for his ability to lead, protect and
provide.
When a guy is insecure about everything he says and suggests he
comes off as wishy-washy and weak. Women will not see him as an
object of desire. He will, at best, be friend zone material.
Youre going to start having the mindset that you will stick behind
whatever statements or decisions you make around her. You wont
be suggesting things with a question mark at the end. You will be
telling her and not worrying about anything beyond that.
You just need to know what you want to do or say to her and
simply do it. This covers a whole range of things. A woman will be
turned on when she hears about things youve done in the past and
decisions youve made.
Even if you admit it was a bad decision, dont act like it was a
failure. You can say, I really probably should have stuck with that
job, but I have no regrets, I had some other amazing experiences
because of it and I learned a lot.
This adds dimension to your character and makes you seem like a
strong-willed person. Even though you didnt make the best
decision, you didnt go back on it. You owned it and moved forward
and benefited from it. This is a tremendous turn on to women.
It also has to do with your beliefs. When you cant have a solid
opinion on something you come off as insecure and weak. Dont
worry if she feels the same way about a certain topic or not. Having
something directly in common is not always the most important
thing. In fact, differences are what make relationships more
interesting.
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makes it more appealing to her that way. You are making it very
easy for her to say yes and enjoy it.
This goes right back to the whole thing with a band you love. You
tell people you love it and you tell them to check it out. You might
even play it for them right then. You dont go back and forth on it.
You like it, so you tell them so.
This not only secures a fun time with her, but more importantly
shows her that you are a leader and in control, and thats
something that will have her absolutely drooling over you. The
caveman instinct is helping you once again.
It May Seem Like A Lot, but You Got This
You have just unlocked the final piece of your mojo. This is where
things are going to start getting very interesting. The next few
chapters are going to be filled with tips and techniques to win a
woman over with specific ways of talking to her and specific ways
to approach conversations.
As Ive said many times throughout these chapters, your mojo is
whats going to get women to start throwing themselves at you.
Anytime youre unsure about things weve covered, just look down
at the checklist below. You can reference all of these mindset
points.
If youre still not sure you can go back and reread that section. In
fact I strongly recommend that you read parts of these
chapters again if you feel any insecurity about them. You can
and will put all these things to work and become a whole new
person, so dont ever hesitate to put more time into certain
concepts.
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. As long as you know what
they are and are able to admit you dont know all the answers in
life, you will come across as a genuinely confident guy. Women are
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Chapter 3 Checklist
Your Inner Game
Work on your inner game to be successful
o Secret that the most successful guys know
Understanding and perfecting your inner game will make
you just as successful
Mojo thrives on a strong inner game
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START
APPROACHING
AND
picker. Wanna help a guy out? I don't know what oranges are
best"
The way you would say that is playful and teasing in a light hearted
way.
You could ask for the time or directions.
You could even ask her for her input picking a birthday present for
your sister.
If you know her, tell her she seems like shes in a bad mood and
the way you say it should be calm, but concerned. Ive never seen
you look so sad, anxious or whatever bad emotion you pick up on
are you okay?
What To Talk About At First
The subjects you talk about with a woman at first wont get too
personal just yet. As you move up the escalation ladder, you get
more attached to her and tell her more secrets and stories other
people dont really know.
Share yourself with her, but in a way that you are comfortable with.
Dont tell her your most embarrassing moments, for example,
because you think youre supposed to.
The conversation should be friendly, casual and INFORMAL. You are
going to want to get into a friendly conversation, but treat it like a
casual, random and normal part of your otherwise busy day.
A first approach is about starting a conversation. All youre doing is
starting a dialogue.
A lot of guys think if you find the #1 approaching strategy, there is
a way to get her dying to commit right away. There isnt anything
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you can do or say that will speed up the process you and she must
go through to become an official couple.
DONT try to shock her or surprise her if you dont even KNOW her
yet. If you try to come up with something nuts to say because you
think if you shock her or impress her, shell want to be with you,
youre in for a shocking awakening: youre scaring her away by
trying to impress and shock her.
Shell feel unsafe and her body will go into fight or flight, which is
an automatic response to danger signals.
The reason lots of guys make it a big deal is because there is so
much false information out there about what to expect and what to
do when you go up to a woman and break the ice.
Approach anxiety is a construction and it makes products sell. The
reality is approach anxiety is nothing you need to overcome. It is
not a problem.
The same applies to getting her phone number, asking her on a
date, texting her for the first time and having an actual
conversation on a first date.
There is so much anxiety around these types of situations, but after
you know the truth about how guys who are good with women go
about them, everything will be different for you from now on.
The following situations are made into big deals when in reality
they are not, but you did not know the truth and now you do.
Getting Her Digits
One of the biggest fears that the guys I coach have is getting a
womans number. First off, NEVER ask her for her digits.
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That is a terrible phrase reserved for use in movies and the Jersey
Shore. So, in effect, this chapter is headed up with an example of
what NOT to say.
Seriously, though, I cant tell you how easy it is to get a womans
number without making a big spectacle of it. In fact thats one of
the biggest points I will make: dont make a big deal of it.
Youve got your mojo now and its time to put it to work.
I am the leading authority on what not to do in this category, guys.
I used to blow my chances with a woman because I simply couldnt
get her number without it throwing the mood and flow of the
conversation off.
When you are engaged in a conversation with a woman and the two
of you are getting along, there is no reason to interrupt that by
making a big issue out of getting her number.
Like a lot of things youve learned, the only thing you need to keep
in mind is to keep it casual. There is nothing to fear when getting
her number.
I used to think there was some special trick or phrase to unlock this
magical chest. There isnt. You just need to do it and keep the
conversation flowing.
Like a lot of things weve talked about, making a woman feel
comfortable around you is one of the biggest ways to activate her
attraction. There is nothing more to this than picking a nice
moment in the conversation to ask and then keep talking.
Dont linger on it, youll make it seem uncomfortable and strange.
Its just a simple thing, you ask for peoples numbers in all sorts of
situations.
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Keep this in mind. Dont build it up like youre about to ask her if
shell take her top off.
Say youre talking to her about her pets. Youre laughing about
some personality quirk her cat has (and hopefully she doesnt have
20 cats, that is usually not a good sign)
After you say something or laugh at something, just ask.
Hey, I want to hear more about your cats adventures. Can I get
your number? Does your cat text?
See how easy that was? You never want her to think about
anything simply past a yes or no.
The silly joke at the end is an example of a follow up to lighten the
mood. You dont even need to include something like that, but if
the moment presents itself, go for it.
Once she gives you her number, continue the conversation. You
can say something like Great, Ill get a hold of you soon.
Beyond that though, just keep talking to her. Or if youre about to
leave, let her know youll be in touch.
The purpose of a conversation is not to get her number. The
purpose of getting her number is to continue the
conversation and see if she is fun to talk to or not. That's it.
One of the biggest mistakes I would make is to make the whole
conversation grind to a halt when I asked her for her number. I
would stumble or be hesitant. It will make her think too much
about it and hurt your chances.
Well, maybe, could I get your number?
Um, do you have a phone?
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Those are devoid of mojo. Say it with confidence. And just ask.
Often guys will complicate it by asking, Could I give you a call
sometime?
While this phrase isnt terrible, youre already making things too
complicated. You dont need to ask her permission to call or text
her. You just need to ask for her number. Any other question is
answered simply by doing that.
Remember, one of the biggest factors with your new mindsets and
mojo is not to worry about the end result. You are there to have
fun and talk, and either she will give you her number or not.
If she doesnt, it isnt a big deal. You dont have to feel humiliated
or imagine her telling all her friends about it that just isnt reality.
When you worry too much about it, you are going to become less
attractive in general. That will immediately make her feel
uncomfortable and hesitant about giving it to you.
So just keep in mind: There isnt some grand secret phrase or
password to getting her number. Shes either going to say yes
or no. And either way, the moment is over. Keeping it simple will
let her feel comfortable about giving it to you.
Getting Her Number
I realized the mojo that texting can have when I met a woman a
few years ago. We had met at a cookout and we started talking
about our mutual love of biking. It was a simple conversation about
biking trails and taking bike trips.
I told her we should bike ride sometime and asked for her number.
It was simple. In the past I wouldve been thinking of getting her
number after a few minutes, but I put that out of my head and
genuinely enjoyed the conversation.
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I figured Id ask and I did. I didnt hesitate or even think about it. I
just acted on it as if I was asking her about the weather.
It worked like a charm and I went on to have some great dates
with her.
Remember, the main thing to remember when youre getting a
woman's number is to stay relaxed. Dont make the conversation a
big lead up to asking for her number.
Youll get yourself worked up and wait for some obvious, perfect
moment that never comes.
Make the conversation about talking and nothing more. When you
feel like asking, do it without hesitation. Just slip it into the
conversation and let her take it from there.
And if she doesnt go for it, no big deal. She isnt going to think
youre a creep or a loser.
When you ask in such a casual way it doesnt give off any weird
vibes. You can continue the conversation and pleasantly end it.
Since youre using your mojo and new mindsets, youll find that
women will be giving their numbers to you more than youve ever
experienced.
When you have her number and are going to text her, always keep
in mind youre activating chemical reactions to unlock her attraction
the first time your name shows up on her phone.
Dont waste that opportunity by sending a simple hello. It doesnt
have to be anything fancy, just text something that relates to the
conversation you had when you met her.
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Now that you have her number, here is the best way to get her
excited about hearing from you.
Many guys wonder what a woman is thinking after he gets her
number. They dont realize how excited she will be when you
contact her.
Texting is now a common part of our daily communication. And we
are lucky, because it has taken all the pressure off feeling that we
need to call. It gives us a chance to relax and let our mojo flow.
A great thing about texting is it gets a woman fixated on hearing
from you. She cant wait for you to text her.
She checks her phone every time it vibrates and wonders if it
might be you. Shes already thinking about you and that gives you
some control.
When you do text, her face will light up. Shes been waiting for you
to contact her and the feeling she gets when you do is fueling her
attraction towards you.
She is literally having a chemical reaction.
She has built this scenario up in her head and when she sees your
name pop up on her screen a few things occur:
She gets a warm, tingling sensation. It spreads through her and
feels wonderful. It releases dopamine in her brain. Dopamine =
pleasure. It's the same chemical released from cocaine. This is a
great thing for her to feel in relation to you.
It is giving her a rush of dopamine to hear from you. Shes going
through these highs and lows When is he going to text me? I
hope he does."
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She might even worry about you blowing her off and when you do
text shell feel and even stronger rush. The point is, she wants to
hear from you so keep in mind that you will be getting her excited
just by making that first move.
Texting Mistakes
As with many things Ive covered the first step is to know what NOT
to do first. Avoiding these texting mistakes will keep her from
losing your number.
A lot of guys out there dont realize what a turn-off it is when they
do these things.
Dont smother her with texts. Its a common trap so many men fall
into these days. We have friends or coworkers that we are used to
texting often.
Remember, in the beginning you want to leave a little to her
imagination. So make a good first impression and let her fill in the
blanks on her own.
Another big problem is guys tend to be a little boring with their
texts. Again, this works just fine with friends and family that
already know you. They dont need much; they already have a
rapport with you.
Often guys are worried about offending or coming on too strong. Or
they are trying too hard to be unique and end up psyching
themselves out.
Either way, you need to relax and not make such a big deal
out of it.
Here are a couple first texts that will stop all that dopamine dead in
its tracks.
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Hey how r u?
Hey
Hi
Was up
These are boring. These are common and are fine when youre
more familiar with each other, but making the first text count
requires just a little more than that.
You want to feed her chemical reaction when you first contact her
and that requires you making a little extra effort.
You dont have to script out some amazing prose, but by giving her
a little more than a simple greeting youre standing out from the
rest of the guys shes used to.
Remember the simple line I used when getting her number? I used
an example of talking about her cat. If I were to text that woman
Id say something like:
So is your cat staying out of trouble?
Not the most creative thing youve ever heard, but it doesnt
matter. It isnt about saying something perfect, its just about not
being boring.
You want to stand out from the pack, so when she gets a text like
that she will be pleasantly surprised.
The best thing is to tie your text into a conversation the two of you
had. If you talked about a movie she loved, send her a quote from
it or playfully ask how many times shes watched it since you last
spoke.
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Now, to really make this whole texting concept sink in, I am going
to tell you a story about the truth about texting straight from a
womans phone.
Blair was a woman who never had a filter. One day, I was sitting at
a coffee shop with her and her phone kept making noises.
I noticed she didn't even look at her phone.
I said, "Who is texting you? Jeez. Whoever it is clearly has to talk
to you urgently."
She made a face at me and sighed as she picked her phone up.
She looked like someone unloaded a huge burden onto her.
"Ugh, I don't understand how guys are like this. The way these
texts are makes me feel bad because I don't know what to say or
how they think these texts are a good idea."
My curiosity got the better of me and I asked her about the texts.
"Eric, for example, this one dude keeps sending question marks and
saying things like fine, goodbye, if I don't reply it's like he is
having a conversation with himself."
Blair was a woman I had a genuine friendship with and there was
not a moment where I didn't find her fascinating and intriguing.
After a bad breakup with a woman I thought would finally make me
feel like I was good enough, I was lamenting over drinks hanging
out at Blair's place.
Now, she had the most amazing body and long, blonde hair. Huge
green eyes and a sexy stare she didn't know was so sexy.
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That's what Blair is. She's the epitome of accidentally sexy, which
drove men even crazier because she wasn't trying to turn anyone
on.
Live in the Moment
I was living in the moment with Blair because it was refreshing to
be around her.
One of the main things I learned from watching her was how she
actually engaged with her environment. She never tried to act fake
because if she enjoyed a situation she stayed, but if she didn't, she
would exit.
It's not like she was rude. She just genuinely wanted to feel
pleasant, comfortable and good feelings. This is what makes a
person attract others in a way that is shocking.
If you want to be engaging and interesting to a woman, do not
focus on the future outcome of what you think will happen.
Living in the moment and enjoying every second of a conversation
lets your mojo shine out.
She will be switched on. When you are living in the moment and
not obsessed with goals and outcomes she will be mesmerized by
you as if you had mystic powers.
Blair put it like this, When a guy talks to me and I can tell his mind
is on another planet, it makes me feel like hes terrible in bed. The
end. Stop mentally masturbating. Its kind of obvious.
After she said that, it really hit me how mental masturbation really
is all thats happening when you have a conversation with yourself
while youre in a conversation WITH a woman.
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Of course she is going to be bored. She will FEEL you not paying
attention. Do NOT do it. Be PRESENT. Trust me on this; you will
have much better results with the woman you want by allowing
your mind to be totally focused on her and the enjoyment of the
conversation.
Youll hook a womans interest. Plus, you'll be pushing all sorts of
buttons in her mind that will activate her dopamine and trigger an
intense emotional experience in her when you know how to go
there in conversations. All this means is cause an emotional
reaction in her by being able to really talk about emotional
experiences. Both hers and yours.
I want to point out how important it is for a woman to have an
emotional experience with you. We will cover this more in depth
later, but I'm pointing it out now because it is such an important
concept.
The bottom line is dont let your thoughts sabotage you. You
will be stuck in your head and end up regretting it.
I used to let all the fear and anxiety and pressure dominate my
thoughts the entire time I was talking to a beautiful woman.
I would sabotage myself, because she would start to pick up on
the weird energy I was putting out and misinterpret it as me being
creepy.
Conversation Basics
As I got better with women, I realized there were
attraction killers I had learned to avoid when I first talked
to them.
I always thought that I had to find some magic words during a
conversation to really unlock her attraction. I felt that I would hit
some perfect moment where I would say the right things and shed
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I would always let myself start rambling and grasping for anything
to keep the dreaded silence away. Rambling is a bad habit and a
definite mojo blocker. Youre nervous and now youre showing that
to her loud and clear. Youre not comfortable and she wont be
either.
Silence is Golden
Silence is not such a bad thing. In fact, silence can let you both
collect your thoughts. If youre nonstop talking the pressure will
start building and building and youll be terrified of a deafening
silence.
Movies and media never shut up. Movies only have a short span of
time to communicate something, so you see conversations between
a man and a woman be loaded to the brim at all times. T.V. is even
worse. Nonstop talk. People have come to fear silence because it
seems abnormal.
When things get quiet, let her think. Dont react with some halfbaked topic thats only going to crash land back into silence
again. Let her think of something interesting to say.
She will be trying on the inside also. A very helpful thing for
guys to remember is that women are insecure too. They are
constantly wondering if you actually like them or if they are boring
you. Truly realizing this is incredibly important because it will help
you relax and enjoy yourself more. Youre not the only one. Misery
loves company (totally kidding, but you know what I mean: youre
not alone in feeling insecure).
Give her a chance to talk. Clear your mind of everything else and
focus on what she says. Give her your full attention. Women get
excited when they know you are listening to them and interested in
what they have to say. It gets them emotionally engaged in the
conversation.
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Heres an example of how you can take the same set of facts and
make it either boring or interesting depending on how you frame it.
The way women think is different than men. Men are straight to the
point and talk with a specific goal or purpose. Women talk because
they enjoy talking for the sake of talking.
Women are turned on when a guy gives them just a small look into
a part of his life that has to do with a memory or a specific
experience.
Specifically, if you feel excited about something, you are
going to tell a better story than if you werent excited. It
does not matter how cool or uncool the topic is. All that
matters is how excited you felt.
Here is an example of a boring way to talk: I went to the store
earlier and picked up groceries so I could cook you dinner. I was
late because the line was long thanks to some lady who was yelling
at her kid, but yeah I was in line. I was buying special beer because
you get a 2 for 1 special discount.
This is not going to turn a woman on. This is listing facts. These
have nothing to do with your own memory, experience or
realization.
Heres how youd make it an interesting conversation. You could
turn the beer example into something a woman would respond well
to if you said, I always care about deals because I dont like
wasting money. I dont take having money for granted for a
second.
Or even better, lets say the kid in line reminded you of yourself as
a kid. Heres something a woman would care about.
I was in line and then I saw this lady yelling at her kid, it
reminded me of when I was young and used to go to the market all
the time with my parents and want to buy a bunch of candy. My
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dad would never let me though, and I always wondered why. I felt
bad for the kid.
Heres another way you would frame a situation to lose her
interest. If you were going in and wanted her to know how you
were a good leader at your job, youd say, Hey, you know I am
a CPA and an credible member of society. I use big words, which is
what makes people intimidated. When people get angry at me for
being in a position thats better than theirs at a younger age, I
know its because they arent as smart as me.
This is called bragging and comes off as if you are boring, annoying
and she would be snoring (if women snored).
Just to give you an idea of how you would keep her interested and
could still talk about your career: I wish I was able to just relax
for once. I mean, I work really hard and stuff, but sometimes I just
want to be able to just watch a movie or something simple.
I guess a part of me just wants to prove something to myself cut
the conversation off right here. Dont give her too much
information, because this is what creates suspense. In a movie, you
are given little doses that build and build on top of each other.
In this case, the reason youd be able to get your story across in a
way that makes her like you in the second example is because she
cares about emotions, not logical reasons for why you are a good
boyfriend on paper.
She wants to hear about your true experiences throughout life
that made you the man you are today.
The stories you tell reflect the man you are, not the things
you have or the assets you own.
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Some guys have a nice house, job, car, clothes and in shape yet no
woman they want wants to be their girlfriend how does this
happen?
They are missing the key ingredient that ignites her curiosity
Now, on top of knowing the stuff about framing and being able
to take a woman through an emotional experience like I
described just now, you must AVOID having the one mindset
that KILLS attraction. Do NOT try to impress her. This makes her
lose interest automatically.
It shows her you are looking for her approval.
She craves a man with mojo. In this case, mojo means you are not
concerned about how she thinks about you because you know
either she will like what youre about or not. Either way, you dont
care about getting a specific reaction out of her because you are
comfortable with yourself.
If you are naturally compatible, you will be a match ONLY if you
LET the relationship happen the way it would without you trying to
force an outcome or press for a win. Its easy to SMOTHER the
life out of it by TRYING to impress. This creates PRESSURE.
Pressure creates performance anxiety. Performance anxiety makes
you press for a win while nervousness gets the best of you.
Second, how you REACT is going to be a major deciding
factor in being able to keep a woman interested. You can
RUIN an otherwise delightful interaction where you tell her
stories she is super engaged in and listening to every word
of, but then if you react, she sees you are insecure.
Let me explain the Law of Reactions. When you show her youre
UNIQUE, MEMORABLE and better than any other guy because
youre not reacting where 99% of men would.
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but she is always going to be happy if you ask her a question that
relates to your own experience.
A woman walks around thinking about things like being understood.
If you make her feel like she is understood you are in a different
category of men in her mind.
Women love when a man asks questions because she gets to feel
like he cares enough to hear her opinions. She will love talking
and explaining her way of thinking to you and will not stop
talking once she starts.
TIP: allow her to talk for as long as she wants. Not only will
she feel appreciated and excited, but you will also get a clue
into what she likes and possibly even what turns her on. Its
not going to be direct, but you will get a feel from what she says
that gives you an idea of what she likes.
It also makes a woman feel more open and comfortable with you
when she talks and talks. She will feel like she is able to talk to you
comfortably, which means she will be more comfortable with
the idea of sex.
Now, how do you know if a woman is going to get bored even
if you hook her attention initially? Well, you wont keep her
interested unless you make a memory happen that you will bring
up the next time you talk to her.
Heres an example of how to create a memory: You and her are
walking around at night and you see a bird that is injured. You stop
walking and pause, look at the bird and say to her, O, wow. I think
that bird is hurt.
Just leave it at that. Look at the bird with concern, but she wont
know how serious you are being. At the same time, she will see you
care about animals and notice things in your surroundings.
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A woman is going to feel like you are with her in a way that makes
you stand out. If you stay with her when most guys would either
get uncomfortable, not say anything or change the subject
(because in a mans eyes talking about problems is pointless if
theres no solution or attempt to find one.)
Now, one of the most surprising and eye opening experiences I had
was when Blair and I had a conversation that truly showed me what
it means to make a woman feel you are with her.
Its one thing to talk openly and another to fully get into her heart
in a way that makes her feel as if you are looking inside her soul.
Heres what happened. One night, Blair and I were watching a
movie together, just hanging out and relaxing. I was bummed out,
to be honest. I wasnt feeling good about a few things going on in
my life, but I didnt think she would notice. To my surprise,
suddenly, she asked me what made me so sad.
Blair looked at me with those eyes of hers and I honestly felt like I
was looking at an angel. The fact that I'm admitting this publically
is embarrassing beyond comprehension, but I'm putting it all out
there so you can get the most benefit out of my experiences.
I wanted to tell her all about how I really felt. NOT about her, which
was the strangest part (in a good way). I wanted to share my views
on life with her, how I felt about people and about love and
everything in between. I wanted to really let her in behind this
mask I was so used to wearing, but so sick of hiding behind.
I didn't say anything and she laid her head against my chest.
This was not something planned. It felt so comfortable and
everything just flowed naturally. There was no forcing it or trying to
make it seem like I felt something I didn't. It just was.
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First, you will start talking about a general subject that leads to her
sharing her own emotions and experiences with you. The timing of
this is going to be around the second or third date (or after that,
definitely not before).
Youll never actually say, You and I are meant to be. This is a
surefire way to ruin the opportunity you have to lead her to put
together the clues and decide in her own head that you and her
are meant to be without you saying it. When you lead her to decide
this for herself, she will feel like she has to make sure you and her
end up together.
The purpose of talking about destiny is to give her imagination
room to fill in how you were supposed to meet for a reason.
This makes her more attached and invested.
You hook her by tapping into her fairytale dream she had since she
was a little girl. You will be her hero when you do this right, since
she will look up to you for guidance and direction.
She will chase you and make sure you want to be her boyfriend so
she can answer to fate and date her soul mate. If this sounds
nuts to you, thats normal. Women and men are different with this
stuff. Just know how she thinks and youre better off than
98% of men who dont know any of this.
Heres an example of how youd put this into practice in a real
conversation with a woman.
Lets say its the third date and you are sipping wine. Shes telling
you about how her parents got divorced and her dad left home.
During the conversation, she gets emotional and says she missed
him so much.
Then, she says something like, I still cant believe it happened. I
dont get it. It was a day Ill never forget.
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Then, you look at her, making eye contact. Then, put your hand on
her forearm gently and say, You know, everything happens for a
reason.
This makes her feel emotionally connected to you. To make her
crave you sexually, it begins by stimulating her mind. You stimulate
her mind when you bring up destiny SUBTLY.
How you respond to the emotional things she reveals will
make or break what she wants with you. If she really pours
her heart out to you, dont dismiss what she says as if its not
important.
Instead separate yourself from the rest of men by giving her the
true emotional satisfaction she craves. All women crave
emotional satisfaction and relief. This happens when you know
what makes her feel sad or emotional.
When you show her you get her, you will show her how well
you understand her. To sum it up, your reactions to what
she tells you will take you from maybe to oh, wow he
gets it. He gets me. He just knows exactly what comforts me
and when to comfort me.
To build on the example I gave above about destiny, here is a list
of things a woman could say that would create an opening for you
to bring in the theme that everything happens for a reason:
I cant believe how it happened
I still cant get over how awful it was
The way people reacted was just unbelievable
That day changed me forever
It was the worst day of my life
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I was broken
I was ruined by him/it/the situation
Youd respond to her with, Everything happens for a reason. You
are who you are right now because of all youve gone through and
that means something.
You give her a general enough response through your feedback (a
crucial part of listening is feedback since it shows her you are
paying attention), but not so much that she feels like she cant
even talk to you.
Being general lets her interpret it however she wants. This
creates an emotional reaction because she spends time trying
to figure you out.
She will invest time fantasizing about what the future would be like
with you. This is how a woman gets attached. Every woman has a
romantic fairytale she dreams of as a little girl.
The wrong way to do it is saying, This is fate. We were meant to
be. If you bring in themes about destiny, though, shell start
putting it together in her head. Meanwhile, the process of waiting
and wondering intensifies her addiction to your attention and her
desire for you.
Remember, women crave conversations that have nothing to do
with logic, but everything to do with love.
Im going to give you some other topics to think about so you know
what
Im talking about when I say everything to do with love and not
logic.
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Now, before I give you the list, remember that this is not going to
be something you bring up constantly.
When you bring it up constantly, it comes off as if you are trying
too hard and trying to seem a certain way by bringing this
stuff up. Even more important is there is no emotional contrast
when you dont have two different emotional states that you show
her.
So while on the one hand, you will generally be stable and
strong, you are going to give her the vulnerable glimpses into
your romantic side.
This is where you hint at this kind of stuff. You have to be stable as
well, for this to work.
Learning experiences shape who we become as adults. I think its
worth it, though because sometimes things happen for a reason
and we dont know it until later. (Implied message: destiny
brought us together and going through all the pain was worth it
because it brought us together.)
If you just meet a woman and say, we met for a reason. This is
love at first sight, you will turn her off and come off desperate.
Desperate means you are eager to cling onto the first woman who
shows you any attention. Desperate means you dont have options.
A woman wont fall for a guy who is worried about not getting
anyone better or anyone else that he has to lock her down.
Its insulting to a woman if you think of her as your only
option. When you have options, you leave her room to reach
for you because you will automatically be too busy to wait
around. You will turn her on if you are a guy with choice who gives
her blanks to fill in and takes his time. How you give her blanks to
fill in begins with saying things in a subtle way.
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Memories
How random life is
How short life is
How hard emotions are for you to express
How emotions are hard for you to express (telling her this is a
perfect way to frame yourself as the guy who has a story to tell and
shell want to get that story out of you).
Dont do this in a manipulative way. Just be gradual with how much
you reveal at first. It gives her room to reach for you and want to
know more.
Talking about how your emotions are hard to express will lead to
intimacy and intimacy leads to sexual tension.
Theres a reason being subtle and indirect works. This works for
sexual conversations, too. When you flirt with a woman, always be
indirect and say something general without ever mentioning you
and her. Really sexual conversations (as in, dirty talk) will not
happen until after you have sex.
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The two of you have the potential to either build on the attraction
or not. You arent there to fulfill any goal, youre just there to test
out the waters and see if something natural grows out of it.
Prevent women from losing interest by engaging in
conversations. The way you do this is by giving her the
emotional experience you felt.
One day, Blair was talking about how most guys end up being such
turn offs in conversations that it was upsetting and disappointing. I
was always amused that we were actually able to be friends without
any weirdness going on and that she could share this stuff with me.
So, anyway
Blair was talking to me about some guy who ended up being a
major disappointment on a date (so many men were dying to
date her, but she had no interest if a guy was boring in
conversation).
Eric, I was sitting there trying to keep my eyes open. He
was telling me about how awesome he is and bragging
about everything as if he was the best thing in the world.
Jeez. Im not sure what is going on, but guys seem to be
under the impression that being obnoxious and talking
about your accomplishments and bragging about your
bench-pressing stats is hot. Its not. At all.
Never one to mince words, I asked her, Blair, is that how you
really feel? (This was sarcasm, obviously).
She gave me a playful look and made a face.
I continued with the follow up question, Would the guy know you
were bored, though? If you just nod and go along with it, how is he
supposed to know you are not interested? Wont he think the date
went great, but then later on when you ignore him he will wonder
what went wrong? This just seems so cruel to me
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Eric, I get what youre saying. To be honest, I can see what makes
you say that. Except, he asked me out on a second date and I said
no. It was harsh, I guess. Now I feel bad. I dont know what else to
do. Its like I wanted to wait for him to finish talking, but he was
on this tangent it would have been so rude to just cut him off and
say, hey I hate this conversation, shut up. But honestly, I wish I
could have just cut him off. It was awful. I felt so bad, though. He
seemed so disappointed.
Blair looked sad.
I told her, Stop it, youre fine. I just think its good you at least
told the poor guy you were not into him. Do you realize how many
women end up never even saying that and leaving things off with a
question mark?
Eric, if a woman doesnt make it clear she likes you, like really
fucking clear as in, texting, making eyes at you and inching in
closer and closer, paying so much attention to every word you say
while randomly laughing hysterically even if the thing you said
wasnt that funny she is not that into you. Like, sure women
pretend to be tough and not interested, but its so obvious they are.
If she seems lukewarm and like shes avoiding the subject of
another date, move on. Its not a good match. Plus, Ive never
understood why on earth do guys want to date women who they
dont like talking to??? Its so weird to me.
She had a damn good point.
Tips For the First Date
There are some pretty easy things to do to ensure a great
environment to make your first date as good as possible.
The first thing to do is avoid movies. Unless she is really pushing
and suggesting it, dont do it.
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Even if she does suggest it, make sure you plan to go somewhere
after as part of the date. If you plan something before, it might go
so well you wont even end up going to the movie.
Either way, never choose a movie for a first date. You cant talk.
Youre going on the date to get to know each other, not watch
other people interact.
You always want to go to a place that you feel comfortable in. It
could even help to suggest a restaurant or coffee shop you are
already familiar with. You might even know the barista or the
waitress. That will put you at ease and allow her to see you on
good terms with another person.
You should pay for whatever you get, be it a dinner or a coffee. For
that reason, make your first date a casual, inexpensive one.
Nothing too crazy or she will feel pressure if you pay for an exotic,
expensive night out. You dont want to be creating ANY pressure or
allow her to get sidetracked by things that really dont matter.
Nowadays you will often hear that you shouldnt pay for the first
date. People have started to read into it too much and feel you
could offend the woman or come across as sexist. Ignore this
completely. That is a myth.
Women love if you get the check. It is a refreshing surprise
nowadays and shows that you are putting effort into the night.
Be aware of the place you pick for her sake as well. You dont want
to take her to a sporting event if she absolutely doesnt care about
sports. Or if she doesnt drink coffee, dont meet at a coffee shop.
Youre putting her in an environment where she cant be
comfortable and that will prevent her from wanting a second date.
Women want to know you get where they are coming from
and at least think about how they will feel about a situation
before blindly just deciding it should happen.
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When you pick a good neutral spot youre also showing her that you
understand her to some level. You listened during your
conversations with her and took that into consideration when
choosing the place. That will allow her to feel comfortable and
create a potential for intimacy.
When you consider her and make a good suggestion she will be
much more likely to go with the flow and enjoy herself. Maybe you
have a song you really want to play her.
Dont just play it, tell her why it means something to you. Tell her a
memory you have when first hearing the song, or if it played a
comforting role in a hard time of your life.
The point is youre giving her all these little things to build on. Guys
like to have a big thing (usually sex-related) and thats all it takes
to hook them. Women, however, like to have those little pieces of
the puzzle to connect in their mind.
I dont think the day of the week matters that much, but Ive found
that Wednesdays and Thursdays are always a great option. Its past
the halfway point of the work week and youre not putting pressure
on a weekend night.
And you already know that you dont build up a sense of
expectation or visualize a specific goal or outcome. You set the
tone, pick the place and allow the chemistry to connect or not.
Choosing a specific place doesnt have to be a huge challenge. You
look for something you both like. If shes into music, suggest
getting a drink and then going to see a band play. Maybe theres a
free show somewhere with other events planned around it
anything along those lines is solid.
Maybe you both like the outdoors a lot. Suggest getting a drink and
then going to a park nearby. You get plenty of time to talk and
enjoy each others company on your own terms.
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She will say something like, I wish we didnt have to end it. Is
there any way ___?
She might ask if theres a way to somehow continue the date (a
good sign).
I wish I could spend more time with you, but I cant. Maybe well
do this again though, soon.
If she says shes tired, has to do something urgent she forgot
about or her friend needs her, more likely than not she isnt
interested. At the same time, there could be another reason for her
wanting to cut a date short. Women are obsessed with how they
look and a woman who feels her hair getting messed up or her
makeup smeared would actually consider ending a date for that
reason alone.
It sounds absolutely insane, but its how women are. If you know
this, youll genuinely enjoy going on dates with women once you
realize how silly some of their behavior really is.
Another plus from having to deal with a life filled with feeling not
good enough in some way is you can see how even though you
never show it, the feelings of shame and guilt festered inside you.
No one would have guessed it, which is exactly how many women
are. They are insecure on the inside, but seem confident on
the outside.
Chapter 4 Checklist
Getting To That First Date
Getting her number
o Use your new mojo mindset
Continue to review Chapter 4 for specifics
o Let it happen naturally in conversation
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o Reference any part of the past conversation and you can use
that as a starting point
Live in the moment
o Enjoy every second of any interaction you have
This switches her on
Allowing your mind to focus on her transmits mojo
o Avoid getting sidetracked with inner monologue and thoughts
You feel fear and anxiety
Mojo gets blocked
Conversation basics
o Avoid common turn-offs
Looking for magic words
Fear blocking mojo
Planning or plotting ahead of time
o Silence is OK
Not always a bad thing
Sometimes a comfortable silence is a huge turn-on with
women
Dont force a topic or conversation
o Listen to her
Let her make effort to continue conversation
She wants to share with you, so listen
Giving her your full attention is a turn-on
o Listening body language
Eye contact
Dont stare
Dont dart around the room
Dont focus on something other than her
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o Lean in
Being closer shows youre focused and comfortable with her
React naturally
Dont over think
Dont let your mind drift
o Intimate topics
Not in a sexual way
Means more personal topics
Childhood/memories
Goals
Fears
Challenges
Tell her stories from these topics and ask her questions
about these topics
Recount a very happy time or even a very sad time
Stories of fear and challenge being overcome is a big
turn-on
Getting ready for the first date
o There are things you can do to build her anticipation to see
you
Texting simple, but personalized things
Giving her something to think about that involves you
o Hint at destiny
Dont overdo it
Hint that you were meant to meet
Gives her a deeper sense of your intentions
o She starts investing time in you
Shes thinking about you 'cause she likes you
She fantasizes about you in her own ways
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Cuddling
Eric, you dont realize how amazing cuddling feels. Its like this
electric fucking frenzy. It turns me on so much. Im serious, said
Blair.
I looked at her like she was nuts, rolled my eyes and said, Guys
dont like cuddling. You know that, right?
She looked like I just stole candy from a baby.
Eric, thats not very nice. I dont get it. Guys dont feel comforted
by cuddling? Am I just going nuts here? I dont understand. This
makes me sad.
Relax, I told her.
I laughed just a bit. I couldnt help it, she was legitimately being
adorable and I can admit it.
She was looking at me with sad, expectant eyes. We were a bit
drunk and long story short? Well, you will find out, but for now, I
want to explain the key points from this that you will take away and
be so much better at understanding how to get inside a
womans heart, no matter how cold she is or how distant
and closed off she can be
Ask her questions about her life. Indulge this part of her
that wants to cuddle and be protected. Let her be a woman
who wants to have her fairytale.
Just let her have a few moments like that. This is going to
make her unable to resist giving into her primal urges.
Literally, she will want to be closer to you. She will inch
closer as her eyes close.
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Slut
Whore
Easy
Loose
You get the idea. Giving her any sense that you find it wrong for a
woman to want sex as bad as a guy will completely turn her off to
you.
You want to be the one who gets front stage passes to her inner
fantasies, and to do that you can never let her feel any discomfort
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Letting her fill in those blanks is always a sure fire way to get her
fantasies boiling. Like I said, a womans imagination will make you
sexier than you can ever do alone. Its not an insult to you.
Youre giving her a great foundation to base it off of, but once
youve done a few of the things weve talked about, you put the ball
in her court. And she will shoot that sexual energy onto a level that
you simply cant get to on your own. The great news is youre
letting her do some of the work and it takes pressure off of you.
You are enticing her. You dont want to give too much away, but
you have to give her something to go on. Whats exciting about a
long-awaited movie? You see the poster for the first time. Its one
image with a sentence (tag line) accompanying it.
Sometimes it doesnt even have that much. It gets you excited
about the movie.
Then you see a preview for the first time. It doesnt give the whole
story away. They dont call it a teaser trailer for nothing. Its
because they are letting you see just enough to get you brimming
with anticipation and excitement. I just saw an example of this
recently. It was a trailer for a new Godzilla movie.
They gave you a couple teasers. One gave you just a split second of
Godzilla. The next one gave you a few different moments with him,
all very brief. The final one gave you a little more. My friend, a
huge Godzilla fan, was waiting for each step. He couldnt stand the
tension, but it fed his excitement and he was dying for the next
teaser.
This is exactly what you are doing with her. Youre teasing her with
little moments and allusions to the future. Youre letting her get
excited by little glimpses and pieces of whats to come. She will fill
in those empty spaces with completely streamlined fantasies
that make you an immortal force in her mind.
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When you build on that anticipation with the slightest tease, youre
sending her lust into orbit. Just like that Godzilla poster for my
friend, the gradual build-up is a huge part of the experience
and pleasure. Not giving into that kiss, making it linger a bit will
get her burning for you. She has to make a little effort, she is a
little unsure and her excitement bubbles over.
She will be overwhelmed by the tension and mystery and she will
very clearly throw herself at you. That gives you so much control
and influence over the pleasure and excitement shes feeling. It
makes it so easy for you to lead because she will gladly follow. Its
almost like youre becoming an addiction for her. You have to
decide when youre going to let her get that fix.
Know When Youve Got Her Turned On
I was mystified by this for years. I just couldnt tell if she was
thinking sexual thoughts, because women dont always express
them as bluntly as guys. The signals can be a little harder to
read.
I would get confused and be nervous, uncertain and then anxiety
would start to roll in. My mojo would start to drop into the red. I
was a ship with a hole in it, sinking quickly to the bottom of the
ocean.
I realized that it wasnt something I was doing wrong. Society and
media have taught women to be closed-off about their sexual
desires. Sexually-open or expressive women are often labeled
sluts or whores and this is so deeply ingrained in our society
that women will go as far as to lie to cover up the most basic
sexual feelings she might be having. They arent always very
comfortable about opening up.
Guys rarely know what to look for even if they are putting out
signals. I had no clue for many years and it thwarted more than a
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Mind you, I wasnt thinking about asking her out or anything at this
point. She was just a cute woman that I wanted to talk to.
As the conversations rolled on throughout dinner I made sure to
include her as often as possible. I asked her a few questions that
were simple and didnt put her on the spot. Whats your job?
How do you know Julia? (and other questions like that)
Later in the night as we all had a little wine I made sure to check
in with her here and there. I didnt try to corner her or dominate
her time.
I had good friends there and spent most of my time talking to
them, but whenever she was in the conversation I made sure to
make eye contact and smile and include her.
At one point we were talking about our mutual love for the
mountains. We both had spent some time camping and seeing
music festivals outdoors. I was ready to get her number, but I
waited a little bit. She wasnt going anywhere and we were still just
getting to know each other.
The moment I got her number was when we actually disagreed
on something.
She was talking about a musical she had seen recently. She was
going on and on about the choreographing and beautiful set design.
I hate musicals. A lot. I shouldnt say hate, but I really dont enjoy
them and they creep me out.
Instead of just agreeing that I liked them, I went out on a limb.
You know, I think I was traumatized by Cats when I was a kid. I
think, though, it wasnt the musical itself, but the fact that my
babysitter seemed to listen to NOTHING, but those songs.
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After a couple drinks I told her that I knew a great sandwich shop
down the block. It was nice out so I suggested we walk. I could tell
that she liked that suggestion. We had both expressed our love for
nature, so I knew it was safe to suggest walking. Had she been a
different personality-type I might not have suggested that, but
because I was paying attention to her interests I knew it was
something that would add to the good vibes and atmosphere.
After a good sandwich and some great conversation, I suggested
we take a walk in the park. I offered to drive us there. I had some
songs I loved and played them for her on the way. I played her a
guilty pleasure song that was from the 80s.
Women love those guilty pleasure songs. They are funny and lighthearted plus they usually have some nostalgic reference to the
past, so it not only creates some comic relief, but also can give a
little window to your past.
She loved my story about why I loved November Rain so much.
When we were at the park a potential snag occurred, but using
my mojo and dating skills I turned it into something incredible.
We were at the park when the rain
weatherman, he hadnt warned me of this.
suddenly
hit.
Damn
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Then the next snag occurred. My damn car wouldnt start. The
battery was somehow dead.
The rain had been a good thing, but this made me a little nervous.
However, I didnt spend a second on it. I called a tow truck and we
sat in the steamy car laughing about our bad luck with the weather.
She put some music on through her phone and we started making
out. Suddenly I was loving my car. It was like my makeshift
wingman.
And then Carl showed up.
He was like a tow truck driver from a B-horror movie. He was a
large man with a cigarette dangling from his mouth. It was
somehow still lit, even in the rain. I made a joke about this to Alex.
We were giggling like little kids. Carl was hilariously grumpy, but
efficient. He jumped my car and we were good to go.
Now dont go turning your car off right now. You damn kids in your
cars always leaving the lights on.
As he got into his truck Alex and I burst out laughing. Kids! We
both said. We both agreed it was nice to feel like teenagers again.
I started to put the car in reverse, but she stopped me. Im not in
any hurry. Its probably good to let it run for a bit. You know, give
it a chance to recharge.
I smiled. Oh, yeah, definitely. Dont wanna rush things with this
car. I think Carl forget to tell us that.
We started making out again. After a bit I drove her back to her
car.
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Chapter 5 Checklist
Your First Date
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When you let her chase you and reach for you it's mysterious for
her to wonder how you feel about her. The period of time when she
wonders about you is going to make her curious. When she wants
to know more, she gets more involved and her fantasies start
getting more detailed and happen more often.
This is how a woman gets attached.
You're automatically going to be stimulating her mind, which is the
gateway to her body, when you do what I'm teaching in this section
about letting her reach for you instead of bending over backwards
to cater to what she wants when she wants it.
When you let her reach for you and step back, you see clearly.
Clarity is the heart of being composed. Being comfortable and
knowing you do not need her to be okay will make you stand out
from other men. When you feel comfortable you are not reactive.
You can't fake it when it comes to this. If you think she is your
identity and take her opinion of you personally, you won't be the
guy who gets her dying to be your girlfriend.
When you want her most, you have to step back because it's the
best strategy to let her come to you and be unable to help herself.
When she starts talking and you can hear her getting more intense
and animated, if you cut off the conversation at this high point, you
will really push her level of interest over the edge.
You will be able to use this technique in a situation where most
men choke. You will shine where you can actually make an impact
and wow her with how you're good under pressure.
Plus, you won't get blindsided by anything when you take a step
back and allow things to unfold how they naturally would. You are
the one in control, she's pouring her feelings out to you and by
cutting the interaction off, you make her nuts with how much she
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feels for you and thinks about you. You will be shocked when you
see the MASSIVE difference this trick makes in your love life.
The Next Date
Before continuing, I have to point out one key realization I had
about dating that changed everything for me. While theres a
certain guideline you can look at as far as dating milestones you
will reach with a woman, dont focus on the specific number of
dates as the be-all-end-all.
Go on however many dates you feel like. The number is not
important. Trying to define this as some kind of rule based
situation is going to kill exactly what makes a date special.
You are in the moment with her. You are not trying to analyze if
this is the right date to do x, y and z on. Just be with her,
react with her and in response to her. Dont go against her
and try to create a specific situation.
Let the comfortable, happy test be what you judge the date by.
If you are feeling happy, comfortable and engaged during the
conversation you are on a good date. If it feels forced and
unnatural as well as uncomfortable, you are not on good date. Why
would you ever want to date someone who you are not
naturally comfortable and happy around?
Trust me, you never want to get into a relationship that feels
like it will require a constant energy drain on your part in
order to maintain it Ive tried that more times than I care
to admit and every time was more devastating than the
last not only did I burn out, but it took me a long time to
recover and land on my feet again after the relationship
inevitably ended.
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With that said, this book will cover just a few possible ways
the first, second and third date could go. This is by NO means
a rigid, universal way to be, but rather an illustration of what kind
of things you can expect to face. It is by no means the be-all-endall.
One of the biggest mistakes men make is getting a little
obsessed or fixated with the future after a first great date.
You shouldnt feel any pressure to lock anything down prematurely.
Just keep a few things in mind if you want to make your future
dates just as fulfilling as the first one and strengthen your bond
with her.
First, realize if she likes you shes starting to think more about the
potential you might have as a boyfriend. Shes seeing the two of
you together and getting familiar with the idea of being a couple.
This is a really important time to be making sure you are
comfortable. When you feel comfortable, your conversations
naturally flow. Letting her get nothing but good, comfortable vibes
from you; you want to be feeding those two key feelings (happy
and comfortable) to her through your mindset and your actions.
You always want to go in with no expectations and realize a date is
nothing but a science experiment. Two elements A and B are in a
given environment having some kind of chemical reaction. Either
its good or bad.
You have no control over the outcome and neither does she, but
the thing to take away is that it means nothing bad about you just
because she is not reacting the way you want her to.
How you unlock your mojo will shape how your dates go. Your mojo
will be most powerful when you do not try to fill in awkward
silences, dont over-analyze what she thinks of you and
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Dont get in the way of that natural process one youve started it.
She wants to do this on her on terms.
Youll get into her girlfriend zone, where she feels the
urge to have you as her boyfriend, if you PERSONALIZE your
interactions with her to create movie moments.
Creating Moments
There is a way to enhance how badly she yearns for your touch,
love and warm embrace. This is a powerful way to unlock a
womans deepest fantasies she has been guarding ever since she
was a little girl.
When you share something that has meaning to you because you
think shell appreciate it, youre going to be a guy she cant resist.
She will feel excited when you share something thats meaningful
to you and something you have experienced.
Remember, telling a story is about conveying an emotional
experience and taking her through what you felt. Creating movie
moments taking her through an experience youve had is another
way to get the one woman you always wanted, but never thought
youd have.
Here is how she will feel if you create movie moments with her
where you share experiences from your own life that have meaning
for you.
I love him. I think Im falling for him.
Why isnt he answering my texts?
Why isnt he answering my calls?
I want him. Hes so different than any other guy Ive ever known.
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is going to show her you are interested in her as a person not just
her body.
Songs are a guaranteed way to plant those seeds of her
fantasy. You dont have to do a single thing beyond playing it for
her. Having a great playlist with songs that symbolize something
important to you or her will set up a virtual playground for her to
work with.
Shes getting seduced by these songs, which isnt necessarily going
to be obvious if you just look at her. You have no idea the kind
of things a woman will think about when in a moment with a
man with a song playing in the background.
Women are different than men in this.
The song you listen to represents the two of you. She will listen to
these songs and you will be the only thing on her mind. She will be
working herself into a frenzy over you.
The best part is you wont even have to be in the room. In fact,
when she misses you, this is when she gets attached. When
she recalls a memory you experienced, this is when she falls
in love.
Songs you pick need to have a theme of destiny. You dont want
them to be about abstract, confusing topics and never about
negative topics.
They give you that presence and masculinity with her that she cant
resist. Youre getting the treatment and dedication from her that
you thought only bad boys could get.
Women are sensitive to lyrics and themes. They pay attention to
words because women tend to be more emotional and verbally
expressive. They pay attention better than guys do when it comes
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Hey You
Comfortably Numb
Blend this movie moment with giving her some hints at your
destiny together. This lets her indulge in her romantic fairytale
and attribute the FEELINGS she has to her LOVING you. This
will allow her to easily feel how great it would be to be with you for
a long time.
The best method as always is to be indirect and subtle with these
hints. When you are indirect and relaxed she will fill in those spaces
and idealize you above any other man shes ever known.
Being too direct and aggressive about it will creep her out
and cause her to emotionally withdraw. Always remember
this HUGE difference.
Precious Investment
Ive mentioned how people value things they work hard for and
invest their time and attention in. When you want something, you
make an effort to pursue and get it.
When I was a kid, I wanted to have Air Jordans. They were cool
looking and every kid wanted them. You got a mark of respect
when you walked into the classroom for the first time sporting
those things.
Back then I valued fitting in. Most of us have at some point or
another. So I started mowing lawns for people in my neighborhood.
I made fliers and went door-to-door offering my services.
It was hard work; most people didnt need me, but enough did so
it got to a point where I started mowing lawns every week. I saved
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the money up and the feeling I had when I bought those shoes was
better than actually having them.
I had accomplished something and I was proud. The prize was the
icing on the cake.
You want her to be going after you for that prize. You are putting a
lot of effort into it and you want her to be doing the same. Take a
little step back. Youve laid down some great groundwork. Let that
work for you and represent you. Just like the playlist you make, do
that work and step back and let it work for you.
When you do this she will do anything to be with you. She will be
reaching out and investing herself. When a woman puts her mind
into something, she will stop at nothing to make it work. If you set
it up the right way, she will take over and make the effort to chase
and win you.
Doing too much will take the mystery out of it and she wont try as
hard. She wont feel the same level of challenge and she wont be
able to get as emotionally invested.
Chapter 6 Checklist
Youll get into her girlfriend zone where she feels the urge to have
you as her boyfriend if you PERSONALIZE your interactions with her
to create movie moments.
Future dates and experiences
o Dont get lazy, make every time you go out just as important and
special
Following up after the first date
o Tell her you had a great time, but dont smother her with communication
o Dont over think a text or call
Keep it simple and personal like your previous texts
Dont ramble
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I grabbed her hand and guided her out of the cab, which she didnt
exactly mind.
She whispered into my ear, Eric Im so wet.
She grabbed my hand, placed it right on her vagina.
She just put it right there to let me feel her through the thin
panties she was wearing.
Lets just say that night turned out to be the ultimate sexual
experience of both of our lives.
The Key to Getting Physical With Her
One of the biggest problems the guys I coach have is about that
first kiss. Weve seen it immortalized in every other movie, T.V.
show and even cartoon. (Yes, think about it, all those Disney
cartoons are building up to that big kiss between the hero and the
damsel in distress).
If youre not sure and cant quite tell if the feeling is right, hold off.
The only reason you should ever hold off is if youre really unsure
about whether shes into it or not.
If you feel the chemistry; youre having a great time and laughing
and talking easily, DO IT!
She wants you to. Have those mints on hand because after a night
of talking and possibly eating or drinking, it doesnt hurt to have a
minty fresh first kiss, instead of a beer or sushi-breath kiss.
A great moment to do it is when shes leaning in and youre talking.
Maybe theres a brief silence. You can tell by that look. Shes
looking you right in the eyes and she is close to you. If she is
standing off a bit and not giving you that direct eye contact, dont
do it.
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Sometimes she might be nervous and wont look you straight in the
eyes, but if shes close to you thats a great sign.
This is one place where movies can actually help you. It sounds
silly, and youll probably not admit this to your buddies, but look up
top 20 movie kisses or even top 100 if they have it. Watch
those clips (Im talking about looking it up on YouTube, which is
probably the most convenient way).
See that look all women give before the first kiss? There are a few
subtle variations, but you will see that head tilt, that dreamy look.
She is comfortable and expectant. Let her have what she wants.
If shes just being polite and more formal in her attitude, lay off. It
doesnt mean it will never happen, but now is not the time. Forcing
a kiss when she isnt ready will ruin any chances you might have
had for a future kiss. She will lose any sense that you have a
connection or that you understand her.
Physical Contact
Flirting means you are going to make eye contact, look her directly
in the eyes and see how she reacts. If she smiles and puts her head
down, shes shy and most likely turned on. If she looks back at you,
shes getting in the moment herself. Here is one rule to remember:
always go by what she is doing when deciding what to do next.
Never just act according to your own rulebook in your head
without making sure its matching with her in that specific
moment.
Urgency
The feeling you are going to create is a sense of urgency. She is
going to want to have more of you because you will leave the date
on good terms, make it so that she is the one who is eager and
dying for more of that kiss you hardly gave her.
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When you kiss her, step back and end the date soon after.
Here is what will happen if you get the timing right. The kiss
will make her feel starry eyed, which is female code for,
very turned on, desperate for more physical contact and
shocked at how desperate she really is.
When you kiss her for the first time, make it short.
When you touch her for the first time, keep it quick and light.
When you tease her, give her a little, but cut it off when she needs
more to feel satisfied.
This applies to all things you do in the beginning with a woman
because she ends up taking what you give for granted if she is
always able to get a fix whenever she wants.
End the date with a kiss on her cheek, brush her hair away from
her face or some kind of gentle touch like putting your hand on the
small of her back and then stop yourself from giving into anything
else.
Women can base a lot off a first kiss, so make it count. She will get
an instinctual feeling about your sexual compatibility from it. If you
give her some terrible messy kiss and invade her mouth forcefully
with your tongue she wont want to have sex with you or see you
again. Let her take the kiss to the next level.
Keep it simple, as with many things youve learned. When you have
that moment, linger a bit. Dont shut down like a robot. Let the
moment before the first kiss last a little. That builds up the
anticipation and optimizes the chemistry between you two.
Dont make it a long kiss; it should be a short, but sweet, direct
kiss. Like I said, dont be forcing your tongue into her mouth that
first time. Let her feel the sweetness and passion of that first kiss.
She will want many more believe me.
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If youre in a situation where youre making out with her, kiss her
on the neck lightly and sweetly. Women love the feeling of a mans
lips on their neck. You can kiss her in other sweet spots too if she
is letting you (her thighs and on her chest).
Being able to kiss her great in common ways, but also finding other
spots will build an incredible sexual energy between you two and
she is likely to want to have sex with you.
Orgasm on Command
This course gives you a fool proof way to make her have an orgasm
every time you have sex. The actual techniques arent covered in
this book, but Orgasm on Command goes through all you need to
know in a clear, simple way that will give you confidence in your
ability to perform.
Now, this section will focus on other parts of sex that will be
what pushes her over the edge and makes her want to be
your woman.
Rule #1: Make Her Want It
First, you have to make a woman want it. When you are building up
to sex through great kissing/making out, you are letting her build
up the desire for sex. Dont be the one to start pushing it there, let
her build up the desire so she gives you very clear signals she
wants you. Letting that intimacy brew is going to lead to great sex
for her.
Rule #2: Gradual is Key
A slow, gradual build-up is whats going to get her boiling over with
passion and make her animal side come out. Dont ever go from 060 mph because women dont get turned on as fast as men do.
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Chapter 7 Checklist
Getting physical with her
o The first kiss
Its nothing to fear
If you are both having a great time, do it
If shes leaning in and youre talking, kiss her
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The bottom line is if you want to make her a part of your life, you
will never get her to say yes by pushing the official title on
her.
The truth is women love to be in committed relationships (most
women). If you are the one pressing the issue, she will feel like
youre smothering her.
She has to be able to feel like she chose to walk down that
train of thought herself. When she thinks it was her choice,
she wants to be your girlfriend.
Do you really see her as a great girlfriend? Are you having fun? Do
you feel those good and comfortable feelings around her? Is your
mojo effortlessly working around her? If you are unsure then you
shouldnt take any further steps.
If you feel like youre choosing her just as much as she is choosing
you, then you are on the right track. What this means is you like
each other and its mutual.
You are not the one putting in all the work. She is interested
and showing it. It should be natural at this point to feel these
happy comfortable feelings if the chemistry is right.
Asking Her Out
Asking her out as more than just a casual date can be done in a
variety of ways. This is still early on so you dont need to make a
big production of it or youll risk scaring her away. You just want to
put it out there and let her make the choice without it being
complicated.
Dont be formal or rigid about it. Would you like to go steady?
That might have worked in the 50s, but it doesnt any more. Its
boring, for lack of a better word. That doesnt have any mojo or
excitement to it.
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Dont repeat yourself. Dont ask her and stumble around. I used to
get awkward at this point and start to doubt myself and that will
sabotage you just like in every other situation.
If you start repeating yourself or rambling you are making it
complicated and confusing. She will start to read into the wrong
things if youre distracting her from the simple question you should
be asking.
Becoming
an
official
couple
works
best
when
youre
straightforward. Youve spent the time building her anticipation and
giving her puzzles to work out. Shes chosen to do those things
because she likes you. This is an instance where you dont want to
hint at it. You need to be clear so she knows you are sure about
this and want it badly.
Dont give her any distractions when you ask her. Just like
suggesting a great band to someone, you put it out there in the
clearest way possible. Check this song out, its amazing. It
shouldnt be anything more than that. You need to be loud and
clear so she can be comfortable answering without any distractions.
A mistake I used to make was asking a woman out when I thought
things started to go south. I felt like it would work as some magic
glue to put us back together. Never ask a woman to be your
girlfriend because you think it will force things to be good.
People do this often in marriage and it never works out. Asking her
to be your girlfriend should be a logical next step to strengthen
your relationship. It shouldnt be a cop-out to try and manipulate
things to work out.
This is where having options helps you make the right decision.
When you are terrified that this is the only woman you could get,
you will drive her away.
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That desperation will still stink like it did in the past. Having options
and knowing other women would date you will free your mind and
let you have a rational state of mind when you decide on whether
you should take a relationship to the next level.
I Love You
Telling a woman you love her is one of the biggest moments you
will ever encounter in a relationship. The only steps that are bigger
are marriage and kids. Its one of the three big ones; the final steps
you can take in a relationship.
This can be one of the most frightening and intimidating moments
in any relationship, but there is no need for it to be.
You have been going on great dates and having a great time
together. You know a lot about each other and the intimacy and
familiarity youve established is going strong.
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the
baby carriage. My little cousins were jumping rope recently and
singing that song.
It made me laugh because it took me back to their time and
innocence, but with all innocence there is an absolute truth behind
the simplicity.
Telling a woman you love her is a huge thing. Obviously we arent
talking about the marriage or baby carriage part yet. Breathe easy,
guys you have plenty of time before you start thinking in those
terms. For now, you are enjoying her and youre choosing to be
with her. Youre starting to love her and you want her to know.
Timing is very important with this. As with many of the steps
youve taken with her, you want there to be a gradual build-up to
this. Youre gaining momentum and building her anticipation up
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until its at a fever pitch. Saying it too soon will suck all of that
momentum up and it wont mean anything.
It would be like giving a runner a gold medal halfway through the
run. It isnt warranted yet and it doesnt mean anything.
You want her to earn it. Just like her reaching for you and pursuing
you, this is something that you cant just give to her without her
wanting it and needing it.
Women dont get obsessed with something that is just lying on the
ground for them to pick up. You have to give her hints and allusions
to it so she pursues it and craves that love.
Remember, working for something and overcoming
challenges always makes the prize a thousand times more
fulfilling. Giving her your love is no different.
Slow and Steady
Telling her you love her is something that you need to let happen in
its own time. Dont cut corners and race to that goal. Youll be
cheating the both of you out of the climactic moment and it wont
carry the meaning it should.
Women love building up to something. Thats how they are
biologically constructed. Just like with an orgasm, its a process for
her. Things need to be in place and working towards the moment.
Give her hints and pieces of it and allow her to put things together
so she is begging for that final piece.
Puzzles are such a great analogy with women and thats why I use
it so often. If you gave someone pieces to a puzzle and left one out
it would drive them crazy.
Theyve put this picture together and gotten past the challenges
they faced along the way. The final piece is the sweetest: its the
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completion of all their time and effort. They must have it at that
point. They would do anything for it.
You can give her those pieces and lead up to your profession of
love in several natural ways. Youre planting those seeds and
broaching the topic of love without going for broke and ruining the
surprise.
You indirectly hint at that love by telling her you love things
about her.
I love the way you smile
I love your laugh, its intoxicating
I love the way you talk about your family. Its so special to see
someone feel that way about people
You can plug many words into this statement. I love your ___. I
love the way you ____.
You can get a little more interesting with it, too. Those are great
examples and you should absolutely use them, but you dont want
to start repeating yourself and diluting the meaning of it.
Telling her you love her smile is incredible, but if you say it every
other day it wont have the impact it once had and it can
compromise what she sees as your standard for love.
By that I mean that if you throw the word around too much, she
might not think you take love as seriously as she does.
You can say something like I love the silly shit you do when youre
a little tipsy. Its a little riskier,, but its communicating that you
love things that are beyond the standard obvious ones.
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happen if it isnt naturally there. Again, you cant take it to the next
level with a magic phrase.
Wasting time trying to create love is a delusional idea that
will only cause problems in your life. You will lose the
opportunity to meet women you would actually feel a strong
pull toward, but if you fixate on making this one situation
into love, you wont ever see that.
You set up the magical situation by choosing women who like what
youre about. When you go out with women who actually enjoy
your nature, you will find the loving relationship you actually
enjoy.
The title comes after the relationship is there. You frame an
incredible relationship with love, but you dont try to build it
off the phrase.
You now know what to look for. Signals women give off and your
own awareness of your true feelings will make love the obvious
choice.
Chapter 8 Checklist
Commitment is not something to rush into
o Having terms is a necessary part of being able to determine a
good match from a bad one
Dont try to make a match that is not compatible become
compatible.
o A title is nothing without a good relationship behind it
o A relationship is gradually built, not one sudden boom
You should be clear on what you want in a long-term partner,
since this gives you a much better shot of finding a happy
relationship
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Heres what happens. You think about a woman and treat her as if
she is a goddess who can do no wrong. You think if only you were
with her, your life would become perfect because she is so perfect.
Except, what if you just dont know her habits that would cause you
to NOT feel as obsessed? Theres an image of perfection you might
have in your head that isnt reality. Dating her isnt as amazing as
you think itd be.
You might say, You dont understand. Shes different. This is the
one and I cant forget about her. Shes stuck in my head.
The way you feel right now might be true (who knows), but it also
might not be true. The chances of finding out if you were idealizing
her or really do feel this strong of a connection with her are zero
unless you recognize the fact that she is HUMAN.
You need to realize that if you treat her like any old woman, then
you will be able to actually connect with her. A real connection is
not based on an idealized version of what you want a
woman to be. This is a fake connection that will end in an
awful relationship.
Instead, step back and truly grasp the idea of your dream
woman being a human being who has flaws. Before
committing to a long-term relationship, you need to know how she
actually is as a person to exist with on a daily basis.
Don't change your life around because you think that's the only way
to get a girlfriend. You don't have a good chance of cheat proofing
your relationship unless you find a good woman who is compatible
with your life.
If you try to pretend you don't like or need certain things and your
tastes, preferences and lifestyle all of a sudden change to fit what
she wants, you are setting yourself up for a bad ending (cheating,
pain and sexual frustration).
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If you have to change who you are and give up what you like
for her, thats your first sign she isnt the one for you.
What if she abuses alcohol, pills and has an abusive drunk nature?
What if shes reckless and crashes cars every time she drives?
What if she blackmails men she dates to not have sex if they dont
give in to what she wants?
What if she plays victim to outsiders and vilifies the man who dates
her because she knows she can?
What if she doesnt respect you?
What if she makes you feel like less of a man on purpose?
What if she withholds sex on purpose just to play games?
Im not saying that all women are like this, but you have to know
what could happen when you risk choosing a woman blindly and
ignore what she does on a daily basis. How she treats you matters
more than what you think about her. You might say you don't want
freedom, but you are not realizing what freedom means.
Your relationship will be the best if you pick a woman who sexually
desires you, makes you feel like a winner and inspires you. She's in
your corner and you don't have to put on your fun face all the time
with her. She's with you. She's on your team.
Qualification
She has to show you what she brings to the table. If she brings
nothing, you cannot hire an actress as a placeholder.
Remember, always ask yourself this question: if the goddess of the
century treated you like the scum of the earth, what would the
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Does she support you and everything you strive for in life? This is
the most important thing above everything else. I read a funny
article recently that really summarized this simple, but incredibly
profound concept.
There is a crazy, burly musician named Andrew W.K. Even though
Im not that familiar with his music, the man is brimming with
mojo. He had been jokingly doing a Dear Abby type column.
A woman had written in telling him how much she loved him, but
she wanted him to give up his rock star pipe dreams and leave it
behind with his youth. She loved him more than anything, but she
needed him to compromise and grow up.
His answer was hilariously blunt, perhaps a bit harsh, but the truth
behind it was unquestionable. He told her (not so subtly) that she
didnt actually love him. He said she might think she does, but if
she isnt fully supporting his dreams and passions then she didnt
love him at all. She liked him a lot and she had genuine feelings for
him, but her failure to see how important that dream was exposed
a huge gap between them.
It isnt about whether the guy had potential as a rock star. It was
the fact that this was so important to him and she failed to realize
it. He told her to F off and let him be himself.
Again, he was pretty harsh (though funny) about it, but he made a
great point. It is absolutely mandatory that a woman supports your
mission in life.
If she truly loves you then she has to love the things most
important to you. When she is in your corner cheering you on
then you have someone that is worthy of your love.
This makes the title of being your girlfriend something she
treasures and works for. This gives meaning to your commitment
and avoids all those pitfalls in a relationship like her feeling doubt
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you arent good enough. It means that the chemistry worked, but
didnt have lasting power.
Creating that giant expectation in your relationship is drifting again
into the agenda mindset. You cant set the bar so high that youll
never be able to reach it.
Love is a process between two people. You are mutually working
together to get deeper into a relationship. You might find things
you dont like that much about her.
The most important factors in your compatibility take time to
emerge. The factors that come up over time represent the things
that will be most important over time.
People can start to realize in the long term that some things just
wont work out. If you force yourself into love with someone you
can often find these glaring differences and grow apart. It erodes
the relationship over time and you slowly and painfully dissolve.
Everything in life ends, including life itself. The point is to fully
enjoy it while you have it. You dont know where its going to take
you so you have to put every ounce of your enjoyment into it, or
youll be wasting your time and will come out angry and resentful.
Appreciate the moment, love it and let it fulfill you without worrying
about when and if it could end.
She has to be aware that you could walk away, too. She needs to
make that effort and reach for you. Dont form some agenda where
you create the threat of it ending. Just make sure she realizes
that she has to be making the effort and emotional investment to
make you stay as well.
You can never threaten her with leaving or give her ultimatums.
This is manipulative and cruel and will poison the potential for you
to have something fulfilling and genuine.
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When you set strict rules or give her the thought that she cant be
free she will naturally rebel. We have all done this since birth. It is
a natural part of development. You cant put someone in a cage
because their only instinct will be to break out of it.
She will start testing her boundaries. It can lead her to start playing
mind games to see how much power she has over you. She doesnt
have to work for you anymore, and that sense of effortless
commitment can lead her to look to other men. She still wants that
mystery to some extent.
When things become rigid and boring she will do anything to get
the old feeling back, even if it means getting it from someone else.
She could cheat or start escaping to spend more and more time
with her friends. Like I said, she starts to play games and test you
at all times because you arent bringing her that same spark and
openness between you. Youve caged her and she will get bored in
that cage. In fact, she will simply refuse to stay in it and will do
anything to escape.
On the same note, you should never be playing mind games with
her, either. You need to be honest and open with your feelings.
Make it easy for her to know what you want and leave it up to her
to choose you and work for you.
Lying to her or altering your true self to cause her to commit will
cause your relationship to break apart because you are basing your
future on flimsy concepts that arent a result of your mojo. You will
be building something off of a compromised foundation and it will
be sure to fall apart in time.
Thats a big reason why you can never stop using your mojo with
her. Mojo isnt about getting a woman. Its about beginning a
journey and keeping mojo by your side for the entire way. Never
get too comfortable or lazy because the relationship will suffer and
become weak and vulnerable to dysfunction.
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You are looking for a girlfriend, but you are also looking for a
partner in crime. Whenever you see a movie about the mafia, you
see this strong bond that exists between them.
If you are always working together and for each other, you will get
stronger and will have each others backs. If you waver from that,
you get shot in the head.
I say that lightly, but you get the point. Every relationship has its
hurdles and problems, but its the way you solve them that either
strengthens or sabotages your blooming love for each other.
When you do have arguments and differences you must always
fight fair. No low blows, no impulsive statements that degrade
your love for each other. If you see two people debating politics
and one person suddenly punches the other out of frustration
theyre destroying any ability for them to compromise or at least
respect each other.
Anger should never enter a fight. NEVER. There is a huge difference
between frustration and anger. The reason you are fighting is
because youre frustrated about something. You never want to lash
out and compromise the respect you should always have for each
other.
You will often read that anger is healthy and should be expressed.
That is a myth. Anger is a negative concept that breaks down your
communication and understanding of each other. It spreads like a
small campfire into a wildfire that destroys the entire forest.
The difference between having a conflict and being angry is that
anger breeds doubt and fear. It destroys mojo and is impossible to
go back on. The respect is sucked out of your bond and things will
quickly fall apart.
Being able to harness your anger and turn it into something
productive is an important aspect of your character that will have
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And when they dont, you wont crawl home with your tail tucked
between your legs. You now understand that there are things you
can control and things you cant.
You can do nothing more than be your best at all times and you will
be able to access parts of your life that were a mystery before. You
will grow and become more skilled no matter what the outcome.
Its up to you and only you to make the right choices on how
you deal with and react to things. Thats the beauty of it: its a
CHOICE.
Chapter 9 Checklist
Building a Future With Her
She is invested in you
o People value things more when they invest their time and
energy into it
o You want to be a prize for her to strive to win
o Make some effort and pull back a bit
She will reach for you and crave you
Telling her you love her
o This is a huge milestone, but you dont have to fear it
o Dont rush it
Drop little hints
I love your smile/laugh
I love your goofy little habits
o Build her anticipation until she is begging to hear it
Dropping the subtle hints gets it on her mind
She will fantasize about it and be almost desperate to hear
it
o Never rush it
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