Name: Shamesa Brown

ID#: N01175813
WRIT 200
Lab Assignment #1
Professor: Angelo Di Giorgio

List and briefly explain 4-5 problems with the letter.

1) The valediction was informal and was used as if she was talking with a friend.
2) The salutation was started with the Directors first name which is in appropriate for a job
letter. This letter should include both first and last name followed by a comma or a colon.
3) Use of repetition was informal. The writer used really really in the first line of the letter
which was inappropriate.
4) The use of abbreviation and the style of the letter was informal. She started off with no
indentation and then went off into indentations. She also had the letter U for university.
In a formal letter abbreviations are not acceptable.
5) The use of slangs was inappropriate. The expression of her hard work was informal.

1412 Pryce Drive

Markham, ON M3H 2L4
September 20, 2015
Harry Wong
Executive Director
Alliance of Part-Time Students
Bellmore College
987 Bellmore College Boulevard
Toronto, ON M7T 2P1
Dear Harry Wong:
I am writing to express my interest in the research position that was advertised on
www.wowjob.ca.
I have worked as a researcher at the University of Hamilton for the past three years. My task was
to assist various professors in their researches. I have garnered the experience in administering
research surveys and questionnaires in different means of communication. I have become
equipped with the necessary knowledge and was able to proofread final reports. I also helped in
conducting market analysis research projects in the business world. This has exposed me to
projects that involved surveying telecommunications and decision making that needed to be
effective on customers need.
My internship with the British of Columbias Ministry of Education, gave me the opportunity to
work in teams that were dedicated in doing an excellent job with the filing in the Assessment
Branch. Recently, my active involvement in my academic and extracurricular activities has done
so well in developing my writing skills. I was awarded for the best English essay along with two
of my short stories which were vital in finding success in the corporate world.
For further details regarding my qualification and expertise, please review my attached resume.
Thank you for taking the time to consider this application and I look forward to hearing from
you.
Sincerely,
(signature)
Susan Wright