Not close enough. ‘Then his hands took a rapid slide down her back to flatten against her butt and pull her up into him. A wild litile cry escaped from her throat and he ripped his mouth away to look down. His eyes dark and intense, pupils dilated, nostrils flared as he struggled to breathe. He wants me. Twant him: “Please.” The single syllable was rusty, ripped from her throat. She had no idea what she was asking for, had no thought beyond more. More something. Anything. Anything was better than this terrible unmet need, the cavern that only he could fill In answer he took her mouth again, hotter, harder. and in two big steps backed her against the refrigerator, pressing hard between her thighs. Against the place that throbbed and wept for him. She thrust back, as hard as she could, leaning into the refrigerator for leverage Itwas a strangely erotic mix of sensations. Cold, hard machine at her back, hot, hard man at her front. Hard big hands against her, kneading, pulling her closer. Then one of his big hands freed its hold on her butt, and she wriggled against him in protest, making him groan, so deep she could feel the vibrations raitle against her breasts, But a moment later the groan was hers as he covered her breast with his handBut not enough. Not nearly enough His other hand left her butt, but instead of claiming the other breast that felt like it would burst, he pulled at her dress, straining the buttons, Some released. The others made a clatter as they rained to the floor. She pressed her head back against the refrigerator as his mouth moved from her bruised lips down her throat and his hands fumbled with the front clasp on her bra Yes. Please If she said the words aloud, she didn’t hear them over the panting. Hers. Hs With a curse he gave another yank. tearing the delicate lace and her breasts fell free. Into his hands. And into his mouth The strangled cry was hers as he sucked, lashing the nipple with his tongue. All feeling clenched between her thighs and she felt her body tighten with need, Greed Oh, my God She was almost there and he hadn’t even touched her yet. There. Hadn't slid his hand up her thigh and into the fragile lace panties that were now soaked with wanting him, Hadn’t pressed his thumb against her clitoris or slid his finger up inside her. She was almost there and he hadn’t done any of those things Not yet. Please Please. More. More. More. She looked down, the sight of his golden head at her breast more erotic than anything she'd ever seen, “Please,” she whispered. “Steven.”He pulled back far enough to look up, his lips wet, his eyes almost black Without saying a word he took the other breast in his mouth and his hand fell to her hip, ran down her thigh as she bent her knee, trying to get closer, her legs wider Closer. His hand pushed at her dress, up her stocking to the bate inch of thigh between her garter and her soaked panties. Then his palm was on bare skin, cupping her ass and she cried out His hand froze on her butt and he pulled back from her breast, his eyes taking in the sight of her bare breasts, wet and swollen from his suckling mouth. Then they lifted to her eyes and Jenna felt her body go cold in an instant. He was angry His jaw clenched until a muscle in his cheek spasmed. He pulled his hand away and pushed at her thigh, straightening her leg, pulling her dress back in place. lo.” he ground out from behind clenched teeth and stepped away, leaving her trembling against the refrigerator, her legs barely supporting her weight, her breasts wet and cold. Her senses frozen. She said nothing as he marched into the dining room and grabbed his holster and coat from the back of the chair with jerky movements. She flinched at the sound of the slamming front door. Then unable to stand a moment longer on legs that felt like jelly, she pressed her back against the cold refrigerator and slid to the floor.“I don't know.” “Picture being me leaving the party early thinking you hated me and didn’t want me to ever look at you.” T bowled for Knut and came back. We finished bowling without saying too much and left. In the car in the parking lot underneath the bowling alley it was dark. She started the car, put it into gear, then slammed it back into park and pushed the emergency break down with her left foot. “You can't do that.” “IL didn't— what?” | asked. “Why?” she whispered and switched the ignition off. “You're pathetic, you know that?” she said. “You’re— fuck!” and she slammed her hand against the steering wheel. She hadn't said fuck in all the years I knew her, I remembered when she even told on me and got me in trouble once when we were kids for saying the word. I was ready to get out and walk home. “Ihated you because,” she paused, “because | liked you and all you cared about was meeting other sisters and,” she started to cry, “so I wasn’t going to wait [sniffle]. You wanted Camille [sniffle]. 1 couldn't [sniffle] .. .”I moved over and wiped her tears with my shirt as best as I could. She looked at me with the weird smile you can sometimes get when you're sobbing. “need to blow my nose,” she sobbed with a laugh and pointed at the glove box. I found a tissue and put it against her nose and she blew into my hand. I wiped her nose and tossed the tissue into the back seat. Tkissed her on the nose. “Don’t,” she said. I kissed her lips and pulled back waiting for the second “Don Tt never came. Our tongues rolled around. Her tongue tasted like an ice-cold Coke. In that dark, dank parking lot underneath King’s Bowling Alley we kissed. In her mom’s brown station wagon. In the front seat, mashed up against each other, the same way I used to coordinate it in the back seat on return visits chaperoned by Sister Sandoval. My wefantasy coming true. The steering wheel was in the way so we natu- rally fell onto the bench seat. She angled on top of me. Our kissing continued. Our tongues didn’t stop. Iheld her close. embraced her like Thad never embraced anyone before. Close. Intimate. Except those words didn’t exist during that lapse of morals; no words existed in that gap of time when our two bodies exchanged saliva, tcusting our mouths, our tongues, together. Then I pushed her away. She looked at me a bit confused. Iwasa man possessed. I ripped her shirt open. The buttons flew all across the car. Her bra was blue. I doubt she'd thought her bra needed to match anything she was wearing that day. Her bra was blue under her black shirt Then I saw che look on her face. Frightened. 'd gone too far. Pd just opened the door to something else. She fell on top of me and as we kissed further, she pressed her bra into my shirt. I pulled my shirt up to feel her bra against my chest. I put my hand on her bra. 1 lightly lifted the underwire and felt the bottom of one of her breasts. Kissing. 1 pulled her bra up over her breasts. Dark nipples. Her nipples were dark. Tdidn’t rub her elbows. I didn’t think of Jeffs adviee. There was no dental exam kissing, She liked it. Pulling back, moving forward, tongues back in each other’s mouth. She squirmed for a couple of seconds in my grasp before she said, before she whispered, “Too fast, slow down. Don't.” She sat up and pulled her shirt around her bra. I rolled my tongue in my mouth to prolong the taste of the inside of her mouth My shice was around my neck. I scrounged around the car for her buttons. For the evidence of our passion. She held her shirt together as we drove to Burlingame Plaza. “Size two,” she said as I left the car and walked into the women’s clothing store. “Can Thelp you?” the clerk said to me like I was a pervert or a transvestite.‘Oh, thanks, it was ~ it was so much fun’ Poppy blushed, suddenly wishing she'd put some mascara back on after her shower. “Tell you what, why don't you come to my cabin for a minute? I could show you the designs for our new team strip. ‘Oh, well — sure, I've got a few minutes.’ Poppy's heart raced. Five minutes with Mr Rogers! Wait until she told Emma, Claire and Marina! Thank goodness Mother wasn't waiting for her at the gates tonight, there was a god after all, she thought excitedly. Ed’ cabin was cramped, with team photographs, trophies and medals on all the walls. Any spare wall space was filled with scribbled match schedules and typed class timetables. Poppy perched nervously on a stool and looked around. In the corner stood a grey locker out of which was spilling what looked to be Mr Rogers’ own kit, underneath piles of school sweatshirts. She figured the new team strip samples must be in there too. “So, Miss Adams. You've been a very good girl today. Would you like to be the first to try on the new sweatshirts?” ‘Cool! said Poppy, wondering where she should change. ‘Well, why don't you just slip out of your blouse. I won't look.” Ed turned to the locker and rummaged amongst the piles of kit. He humied happily. Poppy took her blazer off, and went to undo her top button. She hesitated. The girls wouldthink she was a slapper if she told them she had taken her blouse off in front of a man, whether he was looking or not. She thought better of it. ‘Mr Rogers, shall I go to the girl’ changing room? Ed turned to her and stared at her quizzically. “Why do you need to do that, Poppy? You're safe with me. Don’t you trust me? ‘Oh yes, Mr Rogers, yes of course, It's just that, well— ‘You're okay with us being here together, aren't you” “OF course, yes.” ‘I don't invite just anyone into my cabin you know. ‘Oh thank you! I mean, well, great, Ti love to try on the new stuff if that’s cool with you.’ “Yes, it's fine with me, Poppy, Well then. Let me help you. As Ed fumbled with Poppy's top button, his breathing became heavy. His face hardened in concentration. Poppy's excitement turned to alarm. What was he doing? He wasn't smiling any more. Had she upset him? Maybe shed offended him. The last thing she wanted was to disappoint him. ‘It’s okay, Mr Rogers, let me undo—’ Poppy didn't have a chance to finish, as Ed ripped her shiet open, exposing her ample bosom spilling from her cheap peach satin bra. Poppy gasped, and fearfully held her arms up to hide her breasts. Ed locked his arm about her waist and reached for the wall with his other hand to turn off the cabin light as he firmly yanked hher body up against his. Poppy hobbled through the common. The night was closing in, Mother would be getting home about now. Ifshe hurried, Poppy would only be a few minutes hate, She wondered if Mother would be able to tell. She would kill Poppy if she found out what had happened, she would be in deep, deep trouble for leading a man on, Shed definitely be sent to boarding school if it ever got out. And how on earth wouldshe explain another sipped shirt? Mother would think shed been fighting again, Poppy knelt down by a large oak tree and retrieved a tissue from her bag. She spat in it and scrubbed at the dried blood on her thigh, Tears filled her eyes. She was hurting and confused. Her friends must never find out, they would hate her. They would say she deserved it for drawing. attention to herself. She scrambled to het feet and started to hum manically as she walked, hoping to drown out the vicious cackling voices in her head. She choked her tears back, anxiously singing the words to ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’ as she struggled home alone in the dark.