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Report: The surprising truth about the new confidence trick

APRIL 2014 3.90

NO. 103

APRIL 2014

scarlett
johansson

uk edition

beat the
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On aliens, ambition,
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the boost } brain food

Eating
my words
Every month Amerley Ollennu challenges
you and herself to road-test research and
healthy strategies to help change the way
we think about food once and for all
My parents often recall my birthday party the
first year I started school: when my mother asked me
who I wanted to invite, I said, everyone! Twentyfive years later, and I have a core group of really good
people in my life, yet I often feel lonely. There can be
a sense of shame around admitting to loneliness, as
if there must be something wrong with you. As my
friends get married and have children and Im busier
with work, its tricky co-ordinating schedules. When
Ive been working all week, I just want to stay in bed
all weekend and relax until Monday. My body seems
to need the rest, but come Saturday night I feel like a
single, lonely loser. Cue, raiding the cupboards.

PHOTOGRAPH: CHRIS TUBBS

The challenge

The experience

I resisted at first. As a young adult I journalled often

until I found out a flatmate had read my diaries
while I was out, making me fearful of writing again.
Also, the thing with using food as a cure is that it
tends not to stop you from watching a film or finishing
your work, but when writing things down you have
to focus, and tune into your feelings come what may
this was something I had, for so long, tried not to do.
Reluctantly, I started writing in the notes section of
my phone, just words to describe how I was feeling.
Later, I became more expressive and bought a
beautiful notebook. I quickly learnt that being
physically alone wasnt always the problem, it was
when I felt sad about being alone or left out. Usually
this would trigger emotional eating; now however, I
tried reaching for a pen instead of a slab of chocolate.

According to psychologist Elaine Slater, loneliness

creates feelings of sadness, frustration, depression,
anger, emptiness, helplessness, low self-esteem, and
The result
a sense of being unwanted or not belonging. And it
Writing has been freeing: it works like a bin for me.
can lead to unhealthy escapes, like emotional eating
When I give words to that whirling in my belly and the
check. It was suggested to me that whenever I feel
pain in my chest, I feel like Im healing myself.
lonely and want to reach for the biscuit tin, I should
Sometimes I read back over it, letting myself wallow
try expressive writing instead. A groundbreaking
in self-pity a little longer. But often I realise that the
experiment by the social psychologist Dr James
negative thoughts Im feeling and writing just arent
Pennebaker in 1986 indicated that writing down
true. Ill never meet someone is met with
our feelings can enhance immune response,
of course you will. And yes, there have
reduce recovery times, and promote
Amerley Ollennu is
Acting
Beauty
and
been times when I have consciously
physical, psychological, and social
Wellbeing Editor.
eaten a chocolate bar because I still find
wellbeing. Slater believes journalling can
Find her on Twitter
food a comfort but ultimately I feel like
be restorative, comforting and empowering, @AmerleyO.
Next month:
Im in control, and soothing myself with
and allows us to realise our strength and
Amerley learns to
food isnt my only option now. Next
courage in order to overcome difficult
balance her blood
sugar levels. For more
time
you feel emotionally overwhelmed,
times and avoid negative and destructive
on Elaine Slater, visit
elaineslater.com
why not give writing a go?
behaviours, like emotional eating.
A P R I L 2 0 1 4 P S YC H O L O G I E S M A G A Z I N E 105