Why Does the Boss Prefer the Bully to You?

By Sophie Henshaw, DPsych

~ 3 min read
Bullying, it seems, pays off. Did you ever wonder why the bully gets away with it and
even benefits with a promotion or other reward?
Your gut feeling is correct: the boss really does prefer the bully to you.
No wonder you hesitate in reporting workplace bullying. Not only is it unlikely youll
get a fair hearing, but it could also incite retribution and even lead to the loss of your
job.
Bullies are rarely held to account. Fewer than 13 percent ever lose their jobs
because of their bullying ways and fewer than 4 percent stop bullying even after
punishment or sanctions (Namie, 2003).
Even public exposure wont deter bullies. In a recent high-profile case, several BBC
Bullies were named and shamed. One of them, a self-confessed war bore and
senior executive, was found guilty of intimidating and verbally abusing staff following
a year-long investigation.
He got promoted to a plum job as head of outside broadcasts for an important
World War One project, aligning perfectly with his interests. One commentator
remarked: He has been given the keys to the sweet shop.
The response from the Director General was the usual clichd denial: a pledge to
zero tolerance of bullying and an upbeat message about the latest and greatest
BBC anti-bullying campaign.
Meanwhile, the best, brightest and most popular employees leave their jobs. The
sensible ones realize they are in a no-win situation and quit quietly; others are fired
or relocated. Most tolerate the intolerable for two years or more, but overall, the
company loses more than 70 percent of their most competent staff from bullying
(Namie, 2003).
It seems bullies are untouchable, but why are they so popular with upper echelons of
management, who are blind to the havoc and misery they wreak? Simply put, the
bully is a political animal for whom image and power mean everything.
The whole identity of a bully is wrapped up in the prestige of career success; it is the
oxygen without which there is no life. For ordinary workers, identity is a far more
complex mix that includes important relationships and goals outside of work. We
have empathy for our friends, family and community and will sacrifice self-interest in
a genuine desire to help others.
For bullies, these kinds of relationships are a waste of time. In their world, survival
trumps empathy. In fact, empathy is an obstacle that hinders the precise and

effective rise to the top. Only an appearance of empathy, if it leads to an effective

move on the chessboard of life, is allowable.
With this much at stake, bullies are either very good at their jobs or good at
appearing as if they are by appropriating the work of others in order to get credit for
excellent results.
Bullies are instinctive and smart chameleons, able to hoodwink senior executives
into perceiving them as outstanding. They are strategic and manipulative thinkers,
concerned with their own self-interests over the teams.
Bullies scope out the important power brokers within the organization who are able
to assist in their ascension to power. Then they pay attention to the things that
matter the most to them.
Clues will be found from the photographs adorning their offices, the clothes they
wear, their food preferences and what they talk about the most. The bully cleverly
insinuates himself into the executives heart by mirroring the same interests, values
and beliefs.
By appearing to be just like me, the executive feels a connection with a kindred
spirit. It seems impossible that this person would ever diverge on important matters;
therefore he or she can be trusted implicitly.
In contrast, normal employees dont have such a polished facade. Having
consideration for others can delay important organizational goals. Having family
relationships creates unavailability at important times. Being humble about
achievements lends a lackluster appearance. Focusing attention on the team takes
personal attention away from the executive.
In addition to promoting their own image, bullies are good at concomitantly demoting
yours without appearing to do so. They do this by subtly pointing out your flaws and
mistakes in contrast with their own dazzling performance.
They also know how to pit one employee against another, which serves a useful dual
purpose. When you are seen to be involved in a conflict, its a very poor reflection on
your credibility, and it also serves as a distraction away from the bullys own
shortcomings.
Do you stand a chance against bullies? No. You will never beat them at their own
game because only they know the rules. However, that doesnt mean you cant
succeed using other means.