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THE WORK OF WONDER

Or
THE RE-MOHAMMED-TY SHOW
by
Christian Lollike

A text about art, faith and terror


developed in collaboration with Solveig Gade

Translated by Jens Svane Boutrup

Nordiska Strakosch Literary Agency


info@nordiska.dk

Part 1
A:
The planes that slammed into the World Trade Center on September 11th 2001 is the greatest
work of art ever. Karlheinz Stockhausen says so himself.
B:
WHAT DOES Karlheinz Stockhausen SAY?
A:
The greatest work of art ever. It was spectacular, dirty and awesome. It transgressed the
frontiers of fiction and exposed the religious and political schism of the 21st century. The work cost
lives, app. 3.000, but still managed to steer away from becoming a simple bloodbath or from the
exaggerated use of torn bodyparts. It was pretty sophisticated how little blood there was,
considering how many...
B:
These are the kind of sophisticated oddities that separate the good work of art from the bad.
A:
When I saw THE TWIN TOWERS collapse on TV I understood the fakeness of reality TV
shows.
B:
Its called RE-Mohammed-TY shows.
A:
Why?
B:
Just is.
A:

Anyway, I understood the fakeness of those shows Cause even though theyre for real people
still ACT in them they ACT OUT THE IDEA OF THEMSELVES:
B:
Im the kind of person who likes to do something wild. Especially when Im on TV. I actually
farted once and afterwards I took a bath with a homosexual.
A:
Yeah, then there was more real show to the work THE TWIN TOWERS. The noise. The confused,
anxious faces. The dust. The now-ness. I really felt and saw something more true than a ReMohammed-ty-show could ever produce.
B:
Ive always considered famine in Africa the ultimate work of art. Not just because there are many
more victims than 3.000, no, because the work is more beautiful and abstract. Drought. Mile-long
stretches. The torn surface of the earth. Dry grass in a few places. Not tufts. Single hairs like on
an old womans pussy. HELLO, its a bigger work of art because the artist doesnt indulge the
audiences craving for action but relies completely on slowness, like an old chinese painter. It
takes courage and will-power to dare slowness in the 21st century. At the same time the artist
relies heavily on nature and is thereby utilizing chance. NEVERENDING AFRICA is a much bigger
work of art than THE TWIN TOWERS. ITS THE ULTIMATE WORK OF ART.
A:
But when THE TWIN TOWERS collapsed, I was really MOVED. Not just by fear, but also by
excitement. Something was happening! Finally. Something real. For too long Id been drinking
decaffeinated coffee, cream without fat, beer without alcohol. Last week I had virtual sex.
Meaning sex without sex, while I was watching the US Secretary of Defense promising a war
without casualties. Meaning a war without war. THE ENEMYS CASUALTIES ARENT CASUALTIES.
Ive also seen our Prime Minister do politics without politics not even that hurts. I wont say that
death and destruction makes me happy, not at all, no, and yet...
B:
THE PAIN in the work NEVERENDING AFRICA is much more MOVING than in THE TWIN TOWERS.
Not just for the participants. Also for the audience. Immediate death obviously isnt as cruel as

slow death. The strength leaving the thin black arms THEY CANT EVEN KEEP THE FLIES AWAY.
The audience who dares to look at that work of art is left behind with his good Christian heritage
and must once again examine his understanding of the commandment LOVE thy neighbor.
A:
NEVERENDING AFRICA bores me. Weve seen it a thousand times. The work has no impact
anymore.
B:
Wasnt this thing supposed to be about THE OTHERS?
A:
WHAT?
B:
Wasnt this thing supposed to be about THE OTHERS?
A:
The idea was that we were to make a WORK OF ART, who made all the people watching it,
meaning you the audience, join SAVE THE CHILDREN, UNICEF, CARE, CARITAS, THE RED CROSS
and DOCTORS WITHOUT FUCKING BORDERS. No, the point was that people would feel better
about themselves because they by coming here have done EVERYTHING they could to
understand THE OTHERS.
B:
So now were about to see some real Mohammed theatre, hear about the life of the Mohammeds
and look inside their kebab brains.
A:
Let me do my hair first. Because if theres anything we know about Mohammeds its their bad
taste. They do everything they can to look like greaseballs with oily hair and a style that looks like
shit. Too many gold rings and gold chains and all the other gold bling, that we in western Europe
have outgrown ages ago. IF YOURE RICH YOU DONT HAVE TO SHINE.

B:
Okay, then Ill be a guy named Mohammed and Mohammed has a really good heart. His heart
isnt cold at all even though hes facing a lot of problems in this country. There are people who
think he should go back home to a country hes never known, and there are those who think
Mohammed shouldnt whistle at the girls because he does it in an unrefined, Mohammedish kind
of way and its horrible and can easily lead to group-rape, cause Mohammed cant take no for an
answer. Partly because a Molotov cocktail SOUNDS LIKE A DRINK blew his ears off. Thats why
Mohammed cant hear the girls when they say NO, dont, MOHAMMED, NO. Please NO,
MOHAMMED! NO!
A:
We could also dress up like brown little angels, with natural tendencies, who show that despite
abuses and everything were all the same on the inside HURRAH, HURRAH! The only difference
between Mary and Mohammed is that Mohammed has been listening too much to grenades,
whereas Mary, shes been singing Mary had a little lamb.
B:
Now Mohammed lives in the suburbs and Mary lives uptown.
A:
Congratulations Mary Mohammed drew a blank.
B:
But Mohammed doesnt want to listen to girly-SHIT like that!
SHIFT
C:
In 1971 a performance-piece named Trappings was performed. The artist, a man named Acconci
is sitting inside a closet in an industrial warehouse in Germany. Hes surrounded by toys, pieces of
string, small pieces of wood and plastics. He dresses up his penis in dolls clothes and starts to
play with it. The idea is to move the private space into the public reality.

D:
I want to see my penis separated from the rest of my body. I can only continue being myself by
becoming someone else, Acconci declares.
During a performance at an S/M club in San Francisco in 1991 a guy named Flanagan explains his
desire for self-destruction:
C:
Because destroying yourself feels good, because it gives me erection, because Im sick, because
I say FUCK THE DISEASE.
D:
Just before making this statement, he had nailed his penis to a chair.
C:
You always hurt the one you love.
D:
In 1999 a naked man, painted all white, stood on a podium in London. Slowly, he slit his wrists
and began a blood-dripping catwalk, up and down the podium.
C:
The room was filled with young people with body piercings, who knew exactly what this was all
about:
D:
Finding whats TRUE.
C:
Whats REAL.
D:
Maybe thats what we should do.

C:
What?
D:
Cut ourselves.
C:
Why?
D:
To feel REALITY.
C:
No.
D:
Why not?
C:
Because it doesnt draw any attention. And if it doesnt draw attention it doesnt COMMUNICATE
and if it doesnt COMMUNICATE its not ART.
D:
FUCK.
C:
In 1987, an HIV-positive gay man fucked himself in the ass with gigantic dildos to the sound of
chiming church-bells.
D:
The audience was fascinated.

C:
Immediately after that, he sprinkled sugar on the glittering plastic-sticks and handed them out in
a kindergarten, no charge.
D:
During a six day long performance in 1998, the artist Nitsch butchered different animals and
smeared himself into their blood and guts.
C:
He wanted to get inside the flesh, to feel the matter, yes, actually he wanted to sacrifice himself
in a religious ceremony.
D:
BUT HE DIDNT DIE.
C:
He too was striving for REALITY in his art.
D:
But unlike the creators of THE DESTRUCTIONPIECE THE TWIN TOWERS, the world will soon forget
about him, his work and his message. BECAUSE IT DOESNT WORK! THE TWIN TOWERS WORKS.
An artist facing such a powerful piece as THE TWIN TOWERS can only despair at his own halfhearted attempts and ridiculous sensations.
C:
ARE VIOLENT ACTIONS, BOMBS, ASSAULTS AND HIJACKINGS THE ONLY THINGS POWERFUL
ENOUGH TO SHAKE YOUR REALITY AND MAKE YOU SEE?
SHIFT
B:
ARE VIOLENT ACTIONS, BOMBS, ASSAULTS AND HIJACKINGS THE ONLY THINGS POWERFUL
ENOUGH TO SHAKE YOUR REALITY AND MAKE YOU SEE?

C:
I want to get out of my reality.
B & D:
I want to get out of it NOW.
A:
I want to get out of my reality.
B & C:
I want to get out of it NOW.
A:
But you cant.
B & D:
Why not?
A:
Because you dont exist.
C:
Because there isnt anything thats you.
A:
Because youre not REAL and you never can be.
C:
Because youre dying to be someone else.
A:
Because your soul is running wild

C:
And it doesnt know whether it exists anymore.
A:
Because youre a plastic man.
C:
A funny face.
A:
A collapsed smile in search of a plot.
D:
PLOT. PLOT. ITS HOLLYWOODS FAULT.
B:
PLOT. PLOT. ITS HOLLYWOODS FAULT.
D:
Hollywood has corrupted me and driven me out of my body.
C:
Hollywood has taught me to say: Ooh, how terrifying in the same REAL way as Julia Roberts did in
that famous DIS-AS-TER movie; exactly in the same REAL way I did when I sat in front of my TV
watching the piece THE TWIN TOWERS.
D:
But I cant say: Ooh, how terrifying exactly as REAL as in that DIS-AS-TER movie where Julia
Roberts says: Ooh, how terrifying. And so I have no plot. And so I dont exist. I CAN ONLY
REPEAT THE LINES EVERYBODY ELSE IS REPEATING. Hello Julia, do you also feel like everybody
around you is turning into biodynamic robots, playing the part as THEM SELVES in a sit-com called
MY LIFE. They play the part so well, Julia.

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C practices being real.


C:
Ooh, how terrifying. Ooh, how terrifying. Ooh, how terrifying. Ooh, how terrifying. Ooh, how
terrifying. Ooh, how terrifying.
B:
And in our individual sit-com we only know the lines the producer installed in us. Sunday morning,
for an example, you wake up and the woman, your girlfriend, whos lying next to you, says: All
right, lets do something about this thing called love. And you just know its a line youve heard
someone say in a movie, but neither you nor your girlfriend can remember which movie, and
suddenly you look up and into the lens of a big black camera and in the darkness a guy calls out
CUT next scene.
D:
Ooh, how terrifying is what I say when I watch the disaster on TV, and I hope, I really hope for a
plot thats powerful enough to penetrate my biodynamic hollyrobot. WHAT IS YOUR BIODYNAMIC
HOLLYROBOT SAYING?
Shift
D
The planes that slammed into the World Trade Center is one of the best plots ever. BANG right
into Americas heart. BANG right into the fear America and the Western World have wanted to see
catch fire for a long time.
C:
Fear is burning. Fear is burning.
B:
For those of us who are corrupted by Hollywood, the footage of World Trade could only just
compete with the most moving and fantastic moments in the big DIS-AS-TER movie.
A:

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Its a piece of shit. A cheap imitation. Wed seen it before. A thousand times. In thousands of
Hollywood MOVIES.
D:
TITANIC WAS BETTER THAN THE TWIN TOWERS!
B:
TITANIC wasnt REAL.
D:
TITANIC was fucking REAL.
B:
NO.
D:
One thousand five hundred people died.
A:
Leonardo di Caprio isnt fucking dead.
D:
No, he survived.
C:
In the movie?
B:
He died.
A:
Then he died better than those from THE TWIN TOWERS.
C:

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TITANIC was also a lot easier to empathize with.


B:
Yes, THE TWIN TOWERS went too fast.
C:
And there was too much dust. In TITANIC they were on the boat so you could see them all the
time.
A:
The music was better in TITANIC too.
B:
Yes, it was a historic event.
D:
So THE TWIN TOWERS isnt the greatest work of art at all?
B:
No.
D:
FUCK.
D:
Wasnt this supposed to be about THE OTHERS?
A, B, C & D.
The idea was that we were to make a WORK OF ART, who made all the people watching it,
meaning you the audience, join SAVE THE CHILDREN, UNICEF, CARE, CARITAS, THE RED CROSS
and DOCTORS WITHOUT FUCKING BORDERS. No, the point was that people would feel better
about themselves because they by coming here have done EVERYTHING they could to
understand THE OTHERS.

13

So please do your hair. Because now were about to see some real Mohammed theatre, hear
about the life of the Mohammeds and look inside their kebab brains. The Re-Mohammed-Ty Show.
A&B
Now theyre playing the Mohammed game. Now theyre playing the Mohammed game. And the
world goes black and white. And the world goes black and white. (Is repeated)
B:
I want to be Mohammed who wants to be Leonardo di Caprio who wants to be the composer Karl
Heinz Stockhausen who says that the planes the slammed into the World Trade Center is the
greatest work of art ever.
D:
I want to be Mohammed who wants to be Julia Roberts and Im DEATH and Im for REAL.
C:
I want to be Mohammed who wants to be Samuel L. Jackson who wants to be an artist who cuts
himself so much that he can feel reality.
A:
I want to be Mohammed who wants to be Mel Gibson whos a DOCTOR WITHOUT FUCKING
BORDERS who drinks a Molotov cocktail and makes you see.
C:
I want to be so Mohammed that Im as alien as possible.
D:
No, I want to be Mohammed.
C:
But I am Mohammed and Ive been on an Al-Qaeda training camp and right now Im going
through transit. Im carrying a razorblade and Ill threaten the pilot to
D:

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But I am Mohammed and Im making the greatest work of reality in the 21st century.

C:
But youre not one of them.
D:
Neither are you.
C:
My Mohammed wants to threaten the pilot with the razorblade and fly the plane into the World
Trade Center.
D:
My Mohammed is creating the work that breaks into western reality, showing us how fake our
civilization is. Showing us that what we call DEMOCRACY is what we call THE MARKET and what
we call THE MARKET is what we call GOD and we call GOD: FREEDOM and we call FREEDOM:
FREEDOM TO BUY and FREEDOM TO BUY is what we call CONSUMPTION and CONSUMPTION is
what we call SPECIAL OFFER, SPECIAL OFFER, SPECIAL OFFER.
C:
I have a SPECIAL OFFER to all nations: DIE or unite in DEMOCRACY.
D:
And call your DEMOCRACY: THE MARKET and call THE MARKET: GOD and call GOD: FREEDOM and
call FREEDOM: FREEDOM TO BUY and call FREEDOM TO BUY: SPECIAL OFFER.
C:
BECOME HUMAN CUSTOMERS.
D:
IN THE SHOP OF LIFE.
C:

15

Everybody has a price.

D:
Shes got a price.
C:
Mohammed says so.
D:
She has a price and the price is low because shes fat and has no self-confidence. Shes not very
good at math and she has diabetes. Her exchange value is low because shes shy and bad at
communicating and networking. Shes going insane because she knows that all she can do is
collect new signs, new, signs the hottest brands, the latest vocational training. Shes taking
another course, learning how to adapt, again. All things shes told by her inner consultant. Her
inner installed society manager. The society manager who moves around in her head, telling her
that only by dropping extra pounds, networking, adapting and constantly moving forward will the
installed idea of inner and outer happiness come true.
C:
And hes got a price.
D:
Mohammed says so.
C:
He has a price and the price is high because he does sports and he has a healthy hairdo. The word
Human Resource sits well with him, hes highly adaptable and knows the secret formula to
success. He thinks that taxes are too high, but doesnt mind helping the poor. If youre not going
up, youre going down. Thats his motto and hes right. Everybody knows it. The fat girl with
diabetes too. He thinks the word SECURITY should be erased from the dictionary because you
have to learn NOT to count on anything or anybody: the system, the job, the friend or the
girlfriend. It doesnt bother him. Because the hunting grounds are big enough and you can always

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find something new. He calls it DEVELOPMENT and he calls DEVELOPMENT: PROGRESS and he
calls PROGRESS: HAPPINESS. Only once in a while he screams:

D:
I want to get out of my reality. I want to get out of it NOW.
C:
But dont worry: hes back in the saddle soon after.
Shift
B:
Mohammed is getting tired of the game. Tired of Mel Gibson, Julia Roberts, the ugly girl with
diabetes and the composer Stockhausen. Hes tired of freedom, the market and Titanic. And thats
why he passes through transit and boards the plane. Hes got a razorblade and hes going to
threaten the pilot. Because Mohammed says that only a work of violence is powerful enough to
shake your reality and make you see.
D:
Oh yes, Mohammed, punish me, torment me. Oh yes, tell me that you have a vision grander than
mine. Yes, Mohammed: Lock me up inside your burka and show me the way to REAL AND TRUE
BEING. There I will dwell and worship. Oh Mohammed, I will dwell and worship and follow your
command set me on fire, Mohammed, and let me run through the streets like a human torch.
Oh Mohammed, I will do all this for you. Because only you know THE TRUTH.
C:
Oh yes, Mohammed, now I can see it I shit on everyone whos weaker than me, yes
Mohammed, I shit in their faces and wash my hands in Coke and fries and fashion, trends and
typecasting. Oh Mohammed, I throw up rivers of black blood, wash my hair in self-esteem
shampoo and Mohammed, I know exactly why: Because Im worth it.
B:
Why does it have to be Mohammed who creates the greatest work of art in the 21st century?

17

C:
Because Mohammed believes in THE TRUTH and he has voted DEATH into THE RE-MOHAMMED-TY
SHOW. DEATH IS REAL. Thats why Mohammed is the only one who can create a piece that
penetrate and crush your reality.
D:
But how can we know if Mohammed has any faith? That hes on a suicide mission doesnt mean
that he really BELIEVES.
C:
Does he really BELIEVE that he will wake up in heaven with 70 virgins waiting for him? What if he
still has doubt and his suicide mission is the only cure who can undo the hard knot of doubt?
A:
Maybe sweet little Mohammed thinks that the financially powerful countries only want to help
resourceful Mohammeds?
B:
It takes anger to create the greatest work of art in the 21st century, and anger is exactly what
Mohammed feels when he once again has to prove that he can support himself.
D:
But what if he BELIEVES? If he REALLY BELIEVES? AND IF HE REALLY WANTS TO DIE FOR WHAT
HE BELIEVES IN? The financially powerful countries scratch their heads and decide they better
teach Mohammed a lesson about THE DIVINE SECULARIZATION.
A:
But the only place Mohammed can document a STEEP LEARNING CURVE at the moment is with
the WHISPERING IMAM. SO MOHAMMED BECOMES STRONG in his FAITH and thats why

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Mohammed says Hello to the stewardess and boards Flight 11 Leaving for Boston in just two
minutes.
C:
Mohammed is in his seat, eating his last meal from a small cardboard box, and as hes chewing on
his food he thinks to himself: I dont know if I really believe but by killing myself for THE CAUSE
I can prove that I BELIEVE.
B:
Its easy enough to die when you know that THE TRUTH is on the other side legs apart, welcoming
you.
C:
Its worse NEVER to die, because you have frozen your dead body and paid for a return in the
future. Hallelujah! How AWESOME its going to be to stand there, in the year 2078, on a pair of
newly thawed legs, telling death to fuck off.
B:
SO NOT EVEN DEATH IS FOR REAL?
A:
No, but a piece that BELIEVES in AN A-DE-QUA-TE-LY-IN-TERMS-OF-VIC-TIMS DEATH still has
power enough to blow the coordinates in your REALITY. Thats what Mohammed says, and
suddenly he makes a very radical decision.
D:
Mohammed wants to create the most sublime work of art in the universe.
B:
Mohammed wants to create THE WORK OF WONDER.
A:
THE WORK OF WONDER?

19

B:
THE WORK OF WONDER.
D becomes Auntie Audie
D:
Now let Auntie Audie tell you girls a thing or two: God is dead and anything goes, but PSYCHOMohammed wont understand it. No, hes running around in his MUSLIMWORLD telling everyone
that our lets-look-at-the-world-from-different-points-of-view-point-of-view is a mistake. Thats
why we must die. Mohammed is a self-important, self-righteous, misogynic clown. I mean, have
any of you ever heard him or any of the other terror mullahs say anything that made you think?
A:
But Auntie Audie youre a racist.
D:
Yes, Auntie Audie is a bloody racist. How can she be anything else when Mohammed wont
understand that religion only is a game you play and that this game adheres to tradition, laws and
rules? Its a game, yes, that allows the one who believes in the game to be Gods confidant.
THESE ARENT UNIVERSAL RULES, but no no, Mohammed doesnt get it. Thats why he tries to
convince Auntie Audie that his god in particular is REAL. Better luck next time, Mohammed, better
luck next time. RELIGION, darling, is a bundle of randomly selected rules and logics who close
around themselves in self-affirming circles. You can only speak to GOD if you have created a
cultural religious game in which GOD can speak.
C:
But the divine is INEXPRESSIBLE. Mohammed says so.
D:
INEXPRESSIBLE? Auntie Audies Foot! What is it that cant be expressed? Huh? Answer me! What
is it thats so holy that it defies language? Huh? --- Is there anything so REAL, that language itself
collapses?

20

B:
But what IF hes there?
C:
IF shes really there?
A:
If God really exists?
Repeated. Long beat. Shift.
D:
Wasnt this supposed to be about THE OTHERS?
A:
The idea was that we were to make a WORK OF ART, who made all the people watching it,
meaning you the audience, join SAVE THE CHILDREN, UNICEF, CARE, CARITAS, THE RED CROSS
and DOCTORS WITHOUT FUCKING BORDERS. No, the point was that people would feel better
about themselves because they by coming here have done EVERYTHING they could to
understand THE OTHERS.
B:
So now were about to see some real Mohammed theatre, hear about the life of the Mohammeds
and look inside their kebab brains.
Shift
C:
If I look a little funny to you, its because I just had a very weird experience.
D:
If I look a little funny to you, its because I just ate a black man. He was lying in the cupboard,
looking very confused.

21

C:
I was in my aerobic class and there was a big fat guy. A big fat guy with gigantic, long tits. He
was lying on a bench, working out. The more he worked out, the longer his tits grew. Suddenly
his tits exploded and inside them there was milk and the milk started pouring out. There was so
much milk that all the babies all the single-mothers had brought along to the gym started whining
and screaming for food.
D:
I ate him. The black guy. In the cupboard. He was just a bag of bones and he tasted real bad. But
I ate him hell yeah.
C:
Yes, the children were trembling from hunger and the baby carriages the babies were lying in fell
over and the babies rolled out and the mothers panicked because they thought their babies would
drown. And the mothers were knee deep in milk, searching for their babies, but they couldnt find
them. And the babies didnt drown, no, they drank and drank and they grew and grew and grew
taller than me, and the mothers started screaming and the babies were now huge and they were
hungry and looking for their mothers, and when they found them they ate them. Thats why I look
a little funny.
B:
Wasnt this supposed to be about THE OTHERS?
A:
The point was that we were to make a WORK OF ART, who made all the people watching it,
meaning you the audience, join SAVE THE CHILDREN, UNICEF, CARE, CARITAS, THE RED CROSS
and DOCTORS WITHOUT FUCKING BORDERS. No, the point was that people would feel better
about themselves because they by coming here have done EVERYTHING they could to
understand THE OTHERS.
C:
Okay, then Ill be a guy named Mohammed and right now Im sitting in a postmodern reading
room.

22

D:
Okay, then Ill be a guy named Mohammed and right now Im also sitting in a postmodern reading
room reading contemporary ART HISTORY.
A:
In October of 2002 a Chechen rebel theatre group created a masterpiece in a theater in Moscow.
Dressed in military uniforms they entered from backstage and appeared on stage as a
performance was going on. The actors, also dressed in uniforms, looked very confused, when the
Chechen actors suddenly opened fire. For a few moments nobody could tell the killing shots from
the
B:
NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE DIED, Mohammed thinks to himself and continues to browse.
A:
On September 1st 2004, the first day of school in Beslan in North Ossetia, the Chechen rebel
theatre group struck again. For three days they hold mostly children hostage in the schools gym to examine how fast children can be transformed to adults.
B:
But the piece isnt original enough. The silent majority is out of direct range of the piece,
Mohammed thinks to himself, and minors in storytelling.
D:
In April 1994 extremist hutus performed a longer piece entitled: THE RWANDA KILLING. The
performance depicted an organized ethnic cleansing and genocide in Rwanda. The genocide cost
the lives of 800.000 tutsis and moderate hutus.
B:
Thats more like it, Mohammed thinks to himself.
D:
The climax of the piece follows the rules of classic Aristotelian dramaturgy, but still has a highly
surprising point of not return. The extremist hutus decided to include AIDS in their attacks. They

23

created huge armies of HIV-infected soldiers, whose task it was to rape as many tutsi women as
possible after the attacks. They found their victims in the hospitals, where the women were
already lying ready in bed. The creators succeeded in adopting SLOWNESS into the killing piece
itself, AND as the women were raped and infected they also become pregnant, which was the true
brilliance of the piece. The infected women were now carrying the enemys children. Thats what I
call a masterpiece. Its highly original and reaches far into the future.
A:
The piece is good, but NOT APPROVED. And its not approved due to the simple fact that the piece
didnt attract the media. And why couldnt the piece attract media attention, Mohammeds
storytelling professor asks shes the one who knows that IDENTIFICATION is crucial.
C:
IF YOURE NOT ON TV YOURE A LIVING DEAD.
A:
a) Because the performance was too site-specific who has the time to go to Rwanda to
catch the show?
C:
IF YOURE NOT ON TV YOURE A LIVING DEAD.
A:
b) Because the piece couldnt attract enough prominent investors, the storytelling professor
asks shes still the one who knows that IDENTIFICATION is crucial.
C:
IF YOURE NOT ON TV YOURE A LIVING DEAD.
A:
c) or because the victims in the piece arent real victims, because the piece took place in a
cultural setting where the respect for individual lives, in our understanding, plays a minor
part?

24

C:
IF YOURE NOT ON TV YOURE A LIVING DEAD.

B:
The reason why THE RWANDA KILLING didnt attract the media is simply that the producer didnt
have a BRAND MANAGER. And if THE WORK OF WONDER is to blow up the symbolic coordinates,
who constitute reality, then it must, by Joe, produce CRUSHING tv-images.
A:
MOHAMMED DOESNT HAVE A BRAND MANAGER.
D:
If Mohammed wants to create THE WORK OF WONDER then it has to be BRANDED so hard that
everybody will want interviews because were sick. But sick in a recognizable, innovative and
never-seen-before-trashy-trendy-generation-XL kind of way.
B:
THE WORK OF WONDER must attract full media attention. It needs to be recorded from every
imaginable angle. THE WORK OF WONDER must conquer the world.
A:
We must be original and say something new
C:
But not so new that it doesnt evoke immediate response.
D:
Because what happens if it doesnt evoke immediate response?
B:
THE SHIT WONT SELL.

25

A:
Thats what our BRAND MANAGER says.
D:
Thats why we all have to be TYPECAST: Youll be the mysterious intellectual. Youll be the pretty
girl everybody wants to fuck. And youll be the crazy fuck-up. REMEMBER: THE SLOGANS MUST
BE SHOT OUT WE MUST TICKLE THE TEENAGERS.
Shift
D:
But what is THE WORK OF WONDER? I dont understand the fascination with death, violence and
destruction.
C:
The fascination is about longing for something real and fatal. THE WORK OF WONDER poses the
question: IS IT DISASTER THAT MODERN MAN REALLY WANTS? BECAUSE DISASTER CREATES
THE PANIC THAT AT LAST WILL MAKE US FEEL THAT SOMETHING ISNT TRIVIAL.
B:
THE WORK OF WONDER amplifies the feeling youve had for such a long time.
A:
That the world has cancer and you are infected.
B:
You sense the diagnosis, but cant find the medicine.
A:
You can feel the disease constantly.
C:
You get up, do your hair, put on your make-up, go to work, but keep asking yourself am I not
just a biodynamic hollyrobot whos living by the script of my own sit-com called MY LIFE?

26

D:
But what is THE WORK OF WONDER?
B:
THE WORK OF WONDER is a monster, whos getting out of his crib.
C:
Swinging his god-infected organ.
B:
Establishing a new world order.
A:
THE WORK OF WONDER is taking the consequences:
C:
THE WORK OF WONDER makes Molotov cocktails taste like cool Tequila Sunrise in the desert heat.
B:
THE WORK OF WONDER makes bombs sound like soft rain.
A:
THE WORK OF WONDER votes the Re-Mohammed-Ty show into your cozy living room.
D:
Is THE WORK OF WONDER coming on TV?
A:
Well be watching THE WORK OF WONDER on TV, and we will hear Karl Heinz Stockhausen say:
THE WORK OF WONDER is spectacular, dirty and awesome.
D:

27

And well be watching it all on TV and well see the TV-host cry LIVE. So LIVE that my own cheeks
are wet and REAL. And suddenly Ill say: Ooh, how terrifying exactly as REAL as in the movie
were watching LIVE, where the host gets up and kisses the fat girl with diabetes. And the camera
focuses on The Winner, who takes it all, the guy who knows how to say HUMAN RESOURCE and
who is now seen by the whole world, falling on his knees in front of a priest, crying. And the priest
throws up in a robot-cup from 7-eleven and the credits begin, and theyre endless, listing the
names of the people who died and WASNT THIS, wasnt this supposed to be about THE OTHERS?!

28

Part 2
Y:
Breathe.
X:
Wednesday September 12th 9:36 am. Im looking for my husband, Randy S. Jackson, short, dark
curly hair, thin but athletic, 43 years old. Firefighter, last seen on the morning of September 11th.
Please email me.
Y:
Breathe. Easy. Youre starting to relax. More and more. You hear voices. You can hear what
theyre saying.
Z:
Just because youre 9 years old doesnt mean you cant understand that your school has exploded,
and that its because there are some who believe in a different cross and then theres war.
Thats why they locked us up in the gym. And Sifa cried.
Y:
They say that it happened during a Hutu-attack in Bukavu. An army of HIV-positive hutus had
emptied the drugstores for Viagra. They took the hospital. They say that I was there, in that bed,
in that room, with twelve others.
Z:
Mum says that little sister is going to be buried. But Sifa isnt really dead. Thats why Im hiding
here behind the church. And there. Theres a puppy.
X:
Its because my husband. He hasnt come home. Hes a firefighter and he hasnt come home.
W:
I go on a bus in Hamburg. I sit down next to an elderly woman, who stares at me and then she
starts yelling at me: Its your fault, because youre a Moslem and you create terror youre the

29

one whos flying aeroplanes into The World Trade Center. Youre the one whos killing us all. She
starts hitting me with her cane.
Y:
I had just arrived when it happened. They say that they held us down. They made tiny holes in
their penises with a needle. Then they put it in, one after the other. They say they filled me up
with blood, seamen and disease.
W:
A younger woman came to help me: Just because hes a Moslem and dark-skinned, doesnt mean
hes a terrorist. But I am. Im the one who flew American Airlines 11 from Boston into The World
Trade Center.
X:
The day is a scar. Every morning it begins to bleed again.
W:
Just spit on me.
X:
My sons fire engine is red. Its sitting on the window sill in his bedroom. Inside it theres a little
plastic-man, smiling. Hes wearing a tiny helmet. Its red. Its Daddy its Daddy in the truck.
Z:
Come here, sweet little puppy.
X:
Theyre yellow. The firefighters. Their helmets. Theyre yellow. But when I think of him, climbing
the stairs, carrying a fire hose, and the flames. Then its red.
W:
You should feel complete tranquility, because the time between you and your marriage in heaven
is very short.

30

Y:
I dont know love.
W:
Check your weapon before you leave and long before you leave. You must make your knife sharp
and you must not discomfort your animal during the slaughter.
Y:
I dont know love, but I know who God is.
X:
The day is a scar. Every morning it begins to bleed again and I collapse in front of the kitchen
sink. I reach out for the table. My hand touches a glass, standing on the table. It falls, clink, clink.
W:
Hate me, please do! Please! It could have been you on that plane. Or who worked as a piccolo in
the World Trade Center. You in the elevator with salmon-steaks from the restaurant going down
to one of the VIP receptions. Oh, your daddy would have been so proud. Daddys girl in New York,
huh? Just spit on me.
Z:
Come here sweet little puppy. Come and eat this bomb
W:
I would like to book a ticket on September 11th, flight no. 11, leaving from Logan International
Airport at 8.02am. In the no smoking section. One way, thank you.
Z:
BAAAANNNNG! And then there was only one left. Big, fat, mother-dog. CHOPPP, right on the tail
and the tail came off. CHOPPP, right on the leg and the leg came off.
Y:
Kicking on the inside. It whispers. The floor is sinking.

31

W:
I am Mohammed. Mohammed Atta, Mohammed El Amir, Mohammed El Sayed, Muhammad
Muhammad Al Amir Awag Al Sayyid Atta, Mehan Atta, Muhammad Muhammad Al-Amir Awad Al
Sayad.
Y:
Clink, Clink.
W:
You know me from TV. Sunny morning. Two towers. A plane. Bang.
Z:
Clink, clink.
X:
The tiles are cold, theres broken glass on the floor, the tap is dripping, the fan is on and I stare at
a stain. In the door is a tiny door, a hatch that he made, and it opens and the cat strolls in. She
looks at me, without curiosity, steps carefully over the broken glass. I hold my hand out, want to
pet her, I dont want to pet her, want to, but-get-all-hard-on-the-inside. I push her away.
Z:
I dreamt last night that Sifa was all alive.
Y:
Theres something between my legs. I dont know what it is. A crater? Maybe. I dont know.
X:
My soul feels as if it has had a filter installed.
Y:
My soul feels as if it has had a filter installed.

Y:

32

CHOP.
X:
CHOP.
W:
CHOP.
Z:
Chop.
Y:
At first we heard the sounds. Lying dead-still, holding our breath. Then the sounds from the other
wards. Whispering at first, then louder and louder.
Z:
Mummy! Mummy!
Y:
A child starts to cry. The door opens. A machete! Cut to the neck. Head falls over. Dangles from a
piece of skin.
Z:
Oh no, theyre healing. The eyes are healing. Come here you big fat sweet mother-dog. Come
here big fat mother-dog. Come and eat this bomb.
Y:
Next.
X:
Is what they said.
Y:
Her. Hold her. Spread her legs! Spread her legs! Now. Shut up. Use the bayonet.

33

W:
Now.
X:
Now!
Y:
Hold her legs!
Z:
Now!
Y:
There.
W:
Spread them.
Y:
And the rifle too! Jesus loves you. Jesus loves you. And the chair leg. Up inside. Try the bottle! It
can go further up. Jesus loves you. Use the bayonet. There. Cut her! There. Jesus loves you.
Jesus loves you.
W:
Spread them.
Y:
Looking at the beds. Bodies. Arms and legs cut off. Real close. Dont look like people. Just a chest,
heaving, fast. The head is trembling. Flies. Crying. Children. They grab them. Chop off the hands
that try to protect them. A chopped off hand, no, two, no three. The children? Where are the
children? They smash them against the walls.
X:
Thats what she remembers.

34

Y:
Thats all she remembers.
X:
Randy?
Z:
Mummy?
X:
The eyes. What color where they?
W:
Sunny morning.
Y:
Jesus loves you.
X:
The little birthmark on his hand.
Z:
Chop.
Y:
Chop.
W:
Bang.
X:
There.

35

Y:
Jesus loves you. Jesus loves you. Jesus loves you. Jesus loves you. Jesus loves you. Jesus loves
you. Jesus loves you. Jesus loves you.
W:
I go through transit. Carrying a razorblade. I board the plane, business class, of course. The
machine takes off, a baby cries, and were in the air.
Z:
But then they took us into the gym. All of us and there were so many of us. And there was sweat.
And a lot of people cried, and I did too. And then I peed my pants and somebody took of my
pants, and Sifa started to breathe and breathe and a lady, who had just peed in a cup gave Sifa
the cup and she drank almost all of it.
W:
I see an elderly man trying to open the door to the bathroom. The door opens inwards, not
outwards I think to myself. For a split-second I contemplate getting up and helping the old man.
The second after I realize what an absurd act that would be.
Z:
Sifa, hide yourself. Hide over here, Sifa!
W:
In a moment. Get up. In a moment. When theyre ready. In a moment. Ill cut her throat, the
woman sitting there. Now!
Z:
Now! Sifa, hide. Hide over here, Sifa. Now!
W:
Nobody moves. Everything will be OK. If you try to make any moves, youll endanger yourself
and the airplane. Just stay quiet.

36

Y:
BANG.
Z:
Right on those sitting in the window and then the teacher Lavetta, and then I closed Sifas eyes
and fell asleep with my eyes open.
(B:)
BANG.
Z:
And there was a man running around and his arm was completely gone and a white bone was
sticking out his arm with blood on it and a girl with a hole in her back.
W:
Three stewardesses are lying in the center aisle. Throats cut.
Y:
There.
W:
Blood and children screaming.
Z:
Bang.
W:
Theres fear and theres the cockpit.
X:
Clink, clink.
W:
And a dead pilot. Kneeling. Praying. Allah.

37

X:
Randy?
W:
I am coming home.
X:
I am coming home. I am coming home.
X:
Hit me.
W:
Spit.
Y:
Just spit on me.
X:
Cut me.
Y:
Just cut me.
Z:
Hit me.
Y:
Hit me.
X:
Cut me.

38

W:
Spit.
Y:
Cut.
Z:
Hit.
Y:
Spit.
W:
Just spit on me.
X:
Cut.
Y:
Hit me.
Z:
Cut.
W:
Spit.
X:
Hit.
W:
I bring you a sign from the Lord. I will model something out of clay that looks like a bird; I will
breathe life into it, and with Gods permission it will become a bird. And with Gods permission I
will give eyesight to the blind, heal lepers and awaken the dead.

39

X:
The tiles are cold. The tap is dripping and theres broken glass on the floor. I cut myself. In the
arm. Not the wrist. Just the arm. With a piece of broken glass. The blood runs out and the
hardness inside runs out. On the tiles. I cut again. Deeper, and it runs out, faster and Michael
calls: The cats bleeding. The cats bleeding.
Z:
Mummy, tell me story. Tell me story, mummy.
X:
The little paws on the broken glass leave blood stains on the tiles of the kitchen floor. She licks
herself, and pulls her one paw up, and limps into the living room where my son is sitting, making
drawings. Daddy in the fire. Daddy falling, Daddy in the staircase thats falling. Daddy whos
saving a lady, daddy whos saving a lady, daddy whos saving a lady, daddy whos saving a lady,
daddy whos saving a lady.
Z:
Sifa, saving a lady.
W:
Mohammed in the fire.
X:
Randy, tell me a story.
Y:
The voices.
X:
Tell me a story, Randy.
W:
Put your clothes on.

40

Z:
Youre going into the ground.
Y:
The voices dont understand what theyre saying.
Z:
Mum says that I carry a part of my sister inside. Thats why I play with her. Sifa, you can use your
eraser now. You can erase this dog. Sifa jumps right out of me and erases the dog. There.
X:
The night is completely black and all I want is to draw the darkness into my head, into my brain,
but Ive been scratching my wounds again, and I get up, I want to go to the bathroom to wash off
the blood, but I make a turn, without knowing it, into Michaels room.
I touch the curly hairs on his forehead and am startled when a drop of red lands on his nose. I
bend over him and lick it away and then I go to the window. I take the fire engine, carefully, with
me to bed. I lie with it under the sheets and touch myself, there. Again and again. With the fire
engine, thats already getting sticky. And Im wide open and the fire engine disappears, up.

41

PART 3
M:
If I was soft rain, I could soak you and live with you where you are, but
Tell me, how I can hold the pain and angst youre feeling?
I am Mohammad. Mohammad Atta. Born on September 1st 1968 in Egypt. Died in New York on
September 11th 2001.
Ive read what they write about me. About my intelligence and my fanaticism thats what
theyre after. I am passionate, yes, about my belief and my hope, but unintelligent? Do you think
its easy to fly a Boeing 727? Do you think its easy for me - to get flight training in the United
States? I passed the tests.
I wrote a paper at the university in Hamburg. It was about Syrias second-largest and ancient
town, Aleppo, and about how it slowly is being destroyed by new buildings like skyscrapers. Im
sorry, but there are certain values I choose to believe in and to hold high. I got a good grade for
that paper.
Ive felt your hatred, I still feel it and I understand it, maybe, but how can I not be honest and
true to my conviction? My belief that youre wrong when you say The west is best. Are you that
certain? Women with veils no, not for you. But have you been there? In Saudi Arabia for
example? Ive been to Vegas. Six times, actually right before I flew. Viva Las Vegas. Money,
plastic and tits congratulations youve got a nice tan (etc.)
Im sorry, but have you been to Sao Paolo lately? Have you seen the huge private reservations,
for people with money? In those reservations you can go to school, go to the dentist, go to work
and the disco, yes, live a full life without ever having to meet the animals on the other side of
the fence.
The animals, theyre the people that the hospital guards must fight off when they arrive at the
hospital with their wounds and bites. Theyll fleece you if they ever meet you, but they dont
because you land on top of the skyscrapers.

42

Every day the distance grows and with it, my shame.


I try to summon infidels and fallen Moslems, but I am not soft rain.
Im sorry; there are certain values I choose to believe in and to hold high.
I will fight for them, until cities catch fire, people are decapitated, rape the women and cut those
who dont know whats best for themselves, and the coming generations they humiliate, the life
they abuse, as they scream freedom freedom, and they look so confused, that you dont even
get sick, no, you feel ashamed and think to yourself: Im going to fight until blood springs from
my head.
Youll never know what enough is, unless you know what more than enough is. You taught me
that slogan and I thought: If only the act is powerful enough, then theyll understand. And theyll
let the mortal stupidity transform into spiritual common understanding. No, I wasnt without
hope, but mankind is a silly pupil. I know that now.
The assumed connection between disaster and insight is an illusion no matter how big the
disaster is.
Its not only you whos afraid of me tell me: what can I do? How can I reach you? Touch you,
when even your free, independent press knows that only aggression can sell tickets, and we must
sell tickets, around the clock. Drug em up with aggression. We need high ratings on our channel.
This is me live from New York and they loved it, because theyre horny I knew it, and timed it
so that CNN could get there just in time.
And that war oh, what a surprise.
Now, give me a break No, give ME a break, Mr. President. I wrote the script and you are
saying my lines so very right, Mr. President.
I was once a little boy too, lying in my Grandmothers lap, babbling. I was once a little boy

43

Do you think well one day wake up and know what it is to be human?
No, right And thats why all we have is prayer.

THE END

44

The authors have used different theoretical writings in their research. First and foremost Slavoj
Zizeks Welcome to the Desert of the Real.
When the play was first performed, a prologue opened the play:
A:
Good (time of day, place). My name is Mel Gibson and Im in a show about THE OTHERS.
B:
And my name is Leonardo di Caprio and Im in a play about art, faith and terror.
D:
And my name is Julia Roberts and Im in a piece about art, faith and terror.
C:
And my name is Samuel L. Jackson and Im in a performance about THE OTHERS.

45

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