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#IsThatReallyForMe???

Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I must


listen to my life telling me who I am.
Parker J. Palmer

Now, it occurred to me that my age let me wholeheartedly


believe that everything happening in our lives depends on
different people who surround us, people whom we see on the TV
commercials, movies, magazines, newspapers (if someone still
reads them), social media, and the Internet articles. Their impact
on us is always completely different: some of them inspire,
motivate, and teach us, others can just bring us down. Whatever
it is, now, I acknowledge that the truth is, (as one of the most
positive people pointed) All we have in this world is each other.*
(JD Davidson, American teen, polyglot, autodidact).
Despite this introduction, I am not going to tell you about the
importance of meeting new people and making new friends,
unfortunately I decided to spend my time doing some research
and write something about a Marriage. I presume that some of
the readers are fed up with this word, its meaning, and irritating
notifications from their surroundings.

Anyway, lets dig deeper for some official meanings:


Marriage is the process by which two people make their
relationship public, official, and permanent.
Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a
socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between
spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them,
between them and their children, and between them and their inlaws. (Wikipedia.org)

There are few people who really know what theyre getting into when it
comes to getting married. We all have an idea of what marriage is all about. We
have hopes, dreams and expectations of what it will look like. We watch movies,
TV shows and even observe marriages in the world around us. But we dont really
know until were there, do we? (by Debra Fileta, Dec 3, 2013)
I am rushing to let you know that I am not married. So, I had
to gather these opinions that are worth mentioning. Basically,
people try to figure out, Why do people get married? Why is
marriage important?
At the beginning here are some people who will persuade
you by all means, to not marry and a short article from
eHarmony :
Bible says, Marriage is the right way for procreation. Lovers say,
We married because we were so in love". Parents say, You should marry
because you need someone who will take care of you when we are gone".

Some will even marry to split the bills, chores, a sense of security and
assurance. I feel majority get married because they are pressurized to and
are stigmatized if they aren't. Once the age 25 is crossed, parents and,
especially, nosy relatives, neighbors, and random acquaintances become
very interested to know when you are getting hitched. Society considers
marriage to be as one of the essential stages in the natural progression of
life: Birth > School > College > Job > Marriage (Felita Viegas Nov 7, 2015)
After having been married, I dont believe in it any more. Its
overrated and unnecessary. Happiness and security come from yourself and
the relationship with other people you work on, not on an external
construct (Allan Chin, native New Yorker, polyglot, librarian, foodie, Jul
29, 2014)
Statistically, marriages dont really work these days. I think its just
paperwork. Staying together and just being honest with each other, I think
that is good enough as it is. (Shem, 23)
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and deaf husband.
(Michel de Montaigne, philosopher of the French Renaissance)

Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are


desperate to get in and those inside are desperate to come out

Is marriage losing importance around the world?


By eHarmony

When I was a teenager, I used to think that 23 was a reasonable age to get
married. As I got older, my perceptions about marriage changed and the
older I got, the older my age of acceptability got as well. I thought they were
just my own thoughts about marriage, but maybe it was something more
universal. From all the way around the world, marriage is changing and
becoming less important. But it looks different there than it does here. Here
are a few interesting research findings about marriage in Asia:

1.

People are delaying marriage. In Japan, South Korea and Hong


Kongthe mean age for marriage is 29-30 for women, 31-33 for men
(Jones, 2010)
2.
More people arent getting married at all. The percentage of
those never married before age 40 has been on the rise. For those in
Japan, Taiwan, Singapore and Hong Kong, 15-20% of women were never
married before 40. In the West, marriage is being replaced by
cohabitation; however in Asian countries this does not seem to be the case.
3.
Educated woman are less likely to marry. Women with more
education, income, and therefore autonomy are least likely to marry. This
is the opposite trend compared to those in the US and Europe, where
marriage is more common among those more educated.

But

If being happy is your sole motto, in life, then I woulds say, do not
marry. But I believe, that true joy comes in loving a person truly and
heartily and giving yourself up and being selfless for that person - only
something that comes within a marriage. It's a beautiful institution, and in
my eyes, the most beautiful institution between two humans. Marry
because it's beautiful, marry because it's a covenant. (Anonymous Mar 28,
2013)
It honestly makes me sad when people think marriage is jail. Youre
marrying your best friend. Waking up knowing someone loves you. If thats
so miserable to you, then youll never be happy.
I love being married. Its so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, youll become happy; if
you get a bad one, youll become philosopher. (Socrates)
A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds
it. (Zsa Zsa Gabor, actress who has been married 9 times).

Next, we are about to discuss things that should be taken into account before
getting married.
If you want to change the world, do it while youre single.
Once youre married you cant even change the TV
channel. Via 9gag.com

In the happiest marriages, the wife is thinner and better looking


than the husband. The beauty of this research though is that no
one is suggesting that women have to be thin to be happy; we
just have to be thinner than our partners. So instead of all that
laborious dieting and exercising, we just need to wait for them to
get fat, maybe bake a few pies.

Research also suggests that the happiest couples are the ones
that focus on the positives. Instead of pointing out her husband's
growing gut or suggesting he go for a run, she might say, "Wow,
honey, thank you for going out of your way to make me relatively
thinner." These are couples who can find good in any
situation. "Yeah, it was devastating when we lost everything in
that fire,but it's kind of nice sleeping out here under the
stars, and it's a good thing you've got all that body fat to keep us
warm." (Jenna McCarthy, Feb 2012, TED Talk What you dont know about
marriage)

And remember the most essential thing, You're Not Just


Marrying Your Partner, You're Marrying His or Her Family Too. (stolen
from the article 7 Things I wish I had known before getting married by
Melanie Pinola )

And now lets consider this


Its funny when people discuss Love marriage vs Arranged. Its
like asking someone if suicide is better or being murdered.

I found the best comparison ever for people who debate whether
the love marriage or arranged one is more advantageous.

But I think the main point Id like to deliver is

Stop worrying about fi nding the right


person. Start working on becoming the
right person. (From The secret to finding, and marrying,
the RIGHT person by Paul Angone)

In case youre already married, dont forget to celebrate World


Marriage Day which is the Second Sunday of February.

Sun 12th Feb, 2017 will be... the next one.

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