Why You Should Flirt With Your Spouse

28/10/2016, 12)26 AM

Search...
Flirt With the One You Love

About.com

10 Things To Stop Doing If

You Think You May Ch

About Dating & Relationships

Marriage

...

5 Ways to Take Your Marriage

From Good to Great

Book Review: Sex Starved

Marriage: A Couple's

Wandering Eyes

Non-Verbal Communication

Flirt With the One You Love

Why You Should Flirt With Your Spouse
Ads

How Guys Flirt

Flirt Dating

Of Marriage

Spouse Care

Marriage Divorce And

Married Marriage

Flirt Text

In Marriage

Save Marriage

One of the things the two of you did when you first met and
started dating was to flirt with one another. You were able to
convey your intentions in a playful and romantic way through
your flirting with each other.
Now that you are married, don't stop flirting with your spouse.
Both of you need to continue to be fluent flirters!

Why You Should Flirt With Your Spouse

Photo: Lambada / iStockphoto

By Sheri Stritof
Marriage Expert

Flirting is a way to be playful with your spouse.

Flirting can be an ego booster for both you and your spouse.
Flirting with each other helps keep your marriage alive.
Flirting is a positive way to communicate your love to each
other.

Flirting is a way to remind one another that you are still attracted to each other.
It is good for your children and grandchildren to notice your love for one another.
Flirting with your spouse is fun and natural.

How to Flirt With Your Spouse

You should already know how to flirt with your spouse. But just in case you forgot, here are a few
tips.
Flirting should be spontaneous. Don't flirt at the same time everyday.
CONTINUE READING BELOW OUR VIDEO

7 Tips For A Harmonious Divorce

Sign Up for Our

Free Newsletters
About Today
Living Healthy
Marriage
Enter your email

SIGN UP

MARRIAGE
Before You Get Married
Marriage Licenses and Laws

http://marriage.about.com/od/nonverbal/a/flirting.htm

Page 1 of 7

Why You Should Flirt With Your Spouse

Clean and Clear Oil Control Film

28/10/2016, 12)26 AM

Learn More

/0:33
0:00

Build a Healthy Marriage

Anniversaries

Look into your spouse's eyes. You have to make eye contact to flirt.
Coy looks, a glance, a wink, a smile, a pat on your spouse's rear, lowering your eyes, an arched
eyebrow -- these all say you are still interested in your spouse.

Save Your Marriage

You can toss your head slightly, squeeze your spouse's hand or knee, place your hand in a light
touch on your mate's shoulder or back, give a hug.

Marriage Maintenance

The tone of your voice, leaning toward your spouse when giving a compliment, or a peck on your
spouse's neck can show you care.

Calling it Quits in Marriage

You know what your "come-and-get-me stance" looks like. Give your spouse that look at an
unpredictable time.

Other flirting cues are whispering, fidgeting with earrings, necklace, necktie, change in your
pocket, sitting close together, shyly looking away, leaving a love note for your spouse to find.

Influential Marriages
Romance
Marital Problems
Stages of Marriage
Types of Marriages
Gift Giving
Marriage History
Marriage Words and Terms Glossary - Defi

Flirting With Others Could Cause Problems in Your Marriage

You should be aware that flirting with someone other than your spouse can create jealousy
problems in your marriage. The special gestures, glances, and expressions that make up your
flirting technique should be reserved for your spouse.
Flirting with other people is playing with fire. It can undermine your marriage, make your spouse
feel unappreciated, could show a lack of respect for your spouse and your marriage, and might
be oensive not only to your spouse but to the person you are flirting with. Responding with
comments about how you were "just joking" or "playing around" or "it doesn't mean anything" or
"it's just harmless teasing" probably won't lessen your spouse's sense of being oended.

What Others Say About Flirting with Your Spouse

"Flirt with your husband, imagine you are having an aair with him. Send him sexy text messages
during the day."
Source: Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. "The Shocking State of Marriage: Survey Results."
PsychologyToday.com. 6/18/2009.
"Flirt. Remember back to the early years of your relationship when you had pet names and
compliments galore for your spouse. Recall how you'd dress up and make sure you were looking
hot before you got together? What ever happened to those sweatpants-free days? Go back to
what you were doing when things were hotter between you, even if you're not totally in the
mood."
Source: Michele Weiner-Davis. "Our Harried Lives and Satisfying Sexual Lives - An Oxymoron?"
PsychologyToday.com. 4/3/2008.
"It's gestures, stance, eye movement. Notice how you lean forward to the person you're talking to
and tip up your heels? Notice the quick little eyebrow raise you make, the sidelong glance
coupled with the weak smile you give, the slightly sustained gaze you oer? If you're a woman,
do you feel your head tilting to the side a bit, exposing either your soft, sensuous neck or, looking
at it another way, your jugular? If you're a guy, are you keeping your body in an open, come-onattack-me position, arms positioned to draw the eye to your impressive lower abdomen?
Scientists call all these little acts "contact-readiness" cues, because they indicate, nonverbally,
that you're prepared for physical engagement ... One of the reasons we flirt in this way is that we
can't help it. We're programmed to do it, whether by biology or culture."
Source: Belinda Luscombe. "The Science of Romance: Why We Flirt." Time.com. 1/17/2008.
"Flirting is much more than just a bit of fun: it is a universal and essential aspect of human
interaction. Anthropological research shows that flirting is to be found, in some form, in all
cultures and societies around the world. Flirting is a basic instinct, part of human nature ...
According to some evolutionary psychologists, flirting may even be the foundation of civilization
as we know it."
Source: Kate Fox. "SIRC Guide to Flirting." Sirc.org.

Related
6 Tips for Flirting with Your Spouse
http://marriage.about.com/od/nonverbal/a/flirting.htm

Page 2 of 7

Why You Should Flirt With Your Spouse

28/10/2016, 12)26 AM

How To Be Flirty With Someone You Like

10 Things To Stop Doing If You Think You May Cheat
Is It OK to Fantasize about Someone Else during Sex?

More from the Web

7 Signs A Marriage
Won't Last,
According To
Ociants

About.com

7 Ways Romance
Changes After
Having Kids

About Dating & Relationships

Marriage

Powered By ZergNet

5 Ways to Cope
With No
Relationship
Closure

...

4 Techniques To
Disarm Control
Freaks

Infidelity

10 Things To Stop Doing If You Think You May Cheat

Stop Doing These Things If You Are Tempted to Cheat on Your Spouse

Updated April 14, 2016.

By Sheri Stritof
Marriage Expert

Some behaviors can start the slippery slope into unfaithfulness. If you see yourself as a person
who can be tempted to cheat on your spouse, then you must stop doing these things. Continuing
these behaviors will end up hurting your spouse, your family, your marriage, and ultimately,
yourself.

1. Stop Ignoring Problems

Stop avoiding talking with your spouse about
problems in your marriage. All marriages have some
issues to deal with but dealing with them in healthy
ways can help keep your marriage on a sound
foundation.

Photo: Jupiterimages / Comstock Images / Getty Images

2. Stop Meeting With Old

Flames
Stop connecting and spending an inappropriate
amount of time with an old flame in person and/or
online. If you don't think you can avoid be tempted
by someone from your past or someone you meet on
Facebook or other social media, then delete your
accounts. Your marriage is more important than
these "old friends."
Dr. Susan Heitler: "If you don't want to catch fire,
stay far from the sparks. They are fun and often
prove too dangerous to be worth the mini-delights of
http://marriage.about.com/od/nonverbal/a/flirting.htm

Page 3 of 7

Why You Should Flirt With Your Spouse

28/10/2016, 12)26 AM

minor sexual pleasures. The two highest risk

categories for dangerous connections are old flames
and current business associates, especially ones
that you spend a lot of time with."
Source: Dr. Susan Heitler. "6 Signs You Might Cheat
On Your Significant Other." YouTango.com.
7/09/2012.

Photo: Tony Cordoza / Getty Images

3. Stop Flirting
Stop flirting with someone who is not your spouse.
You may think flirting is just fun and won't hurt
anyone, but your flirting may progress to something
more.

Photo: Lambada / iStockphoto

4. Stop "Harmless" Meetings

Stop having "innocent" and "harmless" lunch dates
with someone you work closely with. Saying that the
meetings are work-related is stretching the truth. You
know these dates can lead to an extra-marital aair.
Dr. Susan Heitler: "[There's] too much time working
closely together, in private spaces, taking a break
and talking about personal matters, and also travel
which makes too much time away from the spouse
and from the restraints of normal family routines."
Source: Joshua Conan. "Infidelity Gender Gap
Appears to be Closing, Says Study."
ABCNewsRadioOnline.com. 6/21/2011.

Photo Larry Stritof

5. Stop Pretending
Stop pretending you are not married. There are valid
reasons for not wearing a wedding ring, but if you
http://marriage.about.com/od/nonverbal/a/flirting.htm

Page 4 of 7

Why You Should Flirt With Your Spouse

28/10/2016, 12)26 AM

remove your ring to hide the fact that you are

married, you are being dishonest and playing games.

Photo: Annabelle Breakey / Getty Images

6. Stop Telling Lies

Stop telling lies to your spouse. The sense of
betrayal and being lied to is often unforgivable for
many people and may be so for your mate.

Photo: S. Meltzer / Getty Images, PhotoLink

7. Stop Conding
Stop confiding personal intimate details about your
marriage with someone else. The only people other
than your spouse who should hear details about your
relationship with your spouse are a counselor or a
priest, pastor, rabbi, etc.

Photo: DC Productions / Photodisc / Getty Images

8. Stop Escaping
Stop wanting to be away from home. Face into what you are escaping
http://marriage.about.com/od/nonverbal/a/flirting.htm

Page 5 of 7

Why You Should Flirt With Your Spouse

28/10/2016, 12)26 AM

and why. Deal with the issues. Don't run away from them into the arms
of someone else.

Photo Credit: Bob Stritof

9. Stop Sharing Feelings

Stop sharing more of your feelings, problems, and
dreams with your "friend" than you do with your
spouse. Sure, sharing how you feel is generally a
good idea, but when you keep your spouse in the
dark about what is going on with you, you aren't
being fair or faithful. Emotional intimacy often leads
to a sexual aair.
Photo: Nicholas Homrich / iStockphoto

10. Stop Blaming

Stop blaming your spouse for lack of sex in your
marriage or for your marriage being in a rut. You
need to accept your responsibility for problems in
your marriage. If you cheat on your spouse, you have
no one to blame but yourself. You, and you alone,
made the decision to be unfaithful.

Photo: Stockbyte / Getty Images

Related
Common Cheating Excuses
How Do You Define Infidelity And Cheating In a Relationship?
Physical and Emotional Aairs: What's the Dierence?
How to Save Your Marriage After Your Spouse Cheats
More from the Web

7 Signs A Marriage
Won't Last,
According To
Officiants

About Dating & Relationships

Follow us:

7 Ways Romance
Changes After
Having Kids

Powered By ZergNet

5 Ways to Cope
With No
Relationship
Closure

We deliver. Get the best of

About Dating & Relationships in
your inbox.
Enter your email

http://marriage.about.com/od/nonverbal/a/flirting.htm

SIGN UP

4 Techniques To
Disarm Control
Freaks

Our Story

Write for About

Advertise With Us

Careers at About

Site Map

Terms of Use & Policies

Help

Page 6 of 7

Why You Should Flirt With Your Spouse

2016 About, Inc. All rights reserved.

http://marriage.about.com/od/nonverbal/a/flirting.htm

28/10/2016, 12)26 AM

Also from About.com: Verywell, The Balance & Lifewire

Page 7 of 7