This book is also dedicated to my Grandfather Louis who did not have to die that day

and he could easily have lived longer, I know because I was on the phone with him
when the phone was hung up and when I immediately went to the house he appeared
relaxed and I wish could have talked to him though be had the oxygen mask on, I love
you grandpa.

I also wish to extend my prayers to my Uncle Jeffery who I wish could have met to

console while he was dying of cancer but the family said they didnt like him and so
pleaded to me not to go console him.

I also wish to extend my prayers to my other relative who sometimes came for dinner
and who while dying of cancer, I wish to console him and he seemed a lonely man, but
my mom told me to leave him alone.

My grandparents on my mother side were not allowed to visit us grandchildren

anymore after bad stock market advice to my dad he said, and I successfully brightened
up his day when after he received a correspondence letter from me to him, I love you
Grandpa Bill and Grandma Sadies, you are still to me the sweetest and most classy of
the people around.

To all my previous and future relatives, that this book and my prayers reach to you, to
save my life so that I may continue to-do good things and avoid the bad people, and
stay faithful that there will bring about a change in future generations to be good, and
to use my book for anyone to investigate and bring these people to justice, who have
tried to kill me and led to the death of a perfect baby girl.

Contents

------------------- 2016,2017Law Enforcement save Lawrence Yudowitz! Stop this hit

team now!

------------------- After 2016,2017... Law enforcement save Lawrence Yudowitz! Stop

this hit team
Now!

------------------ 2016 I was told that there is A warrant on my life by a consulate

officer. What
is that and why me?!

------------------ A poem for our personal Messiahs (My Hero)

------------------ A twirl on a girl (My hero )

------------------ Part 2 A girl with a twirl (My hero)

save Lawrence Yudowitz! : Help stop this hit team now!

2016 and 20017.... Law enforcement

I have to write this truth to help save my life, from professional killers. Anyone whom I
made reference to here, please forgive me; I could not avoid mentioning some people
in this case. Many people have come to my residences doorsteps threatening my life,
others warning me and some apparently investigating or planning. Some people
worked together to try killing me, and only my family could be behind this, my father
and mother and my sibling for something to do with the family money or spite; and,
while I spent time again defending my life, my baby was murdered in a very bad way.

Around 2009 I had been thinking of suing family under the new Massachusetts laws for
child abuse victims and my family had vehemently denied the validity of that, which is
when the attempts began, I spent lmost one million dollars from a mortgage loan
running from some surveillance team that made threats to my face several times, and
my father was beginning to tell people in the family and anywhere connected to me
slanderous false remarks that I may have either been manipulative or crazy but I pride
myself with great health and after asking my father to stop slandering me yet he
continued, especially when I would call anyone for help during the attempts on my life.

I thought he was projecting his previous legal cases on me, and that he was a psychotic
which he had been when I was growing up as a child but he refused medications,
because he didnt want to lose his reputation, but be settled for lithium to calm his
episodes.

Around 2009 I only thought of suing anyone connected to covering up my abuse once I
discovered a report from that time of my first grade in park school and the school had
asked that my entire family be tested for abuses because I was having sex with girls and
drawing penis on the blackboard, my teacher Ms. Brown was angry.. That time there is
on record a lie that my parents told a Dr. Onesti from Harvard that everything was fine
at home; but a letter handwritten to me afterwards while in my twenties from my
mother explained that things were so bad at home as the reason that we didnt
receive the prescribed therapy, she also apologized in person for locking me in my
room for two years to a therapist named Bonner.

In first grade Jan our nanny barged into my bedroom while me and a classmate were
naked, she left her position like several others. I was transferred to the Dexter school.
My father
desperately tried to cover up the reported abuse issue probably to keep his career. Later
a newspaper mid eighties article about him implied that his success was from being a
good player, and not a good doctor and his made him angry though he was an intense
worker, an A type personality so I intense that his veins once nearly ruptured.

(My father and passport investigators both equally have extensive reaches into criminal
and business networks by way of their professions, also very far reaches into the Federal
government)

Around 2009 two men came and sat down at my table in a restobar and one said to my
face
We are going to kill you, to which I replied There is no reason to kill me Please do
not kill me; I have things to do with my life. He replied Are You a Jew?, to which I said
that I was raised by Christians. (I was also raised by Jews but so abused that in my
childhood years I had become anti-Semitic). I left the city immediately and called my
father, and he said did you tell them there is no reason?

I had recently taken out a 300,000 mortgage loan from an income property in Canada
which was a gift from my father, and the loan was to make a hotel business. Soon after I
went to Seattle to apply the new passport because it was closer than Boston.

At 11: 30 am on a Thursday, a time that I would never forget I applied for a passport
with no luck and then proceeded to have lunch at the Brooklyn Seafoods restobar
across the street from the Jackson Federal building, and after eating asked for a taxi; the
hostess at the door telephoned for one. When I saw the taxi coming from two blocks up
I stepped towards the street at which point a huge glass bottle crashed down to exactly
where I had stood. I was so frightened that I kept walking away through the empty
crosswalk. I hired an armed bodyguard who had secret service training and he
confirmed with an inside contact at that restaurant that

the bottle did fall that day, also that the roof was secure. I did much later go to the
police station and the attendant said that it must have been an accident so he could
report nothing; I knew it was no accident but to prove it would be too dangerous and
too expensive.

At this point I believed that whoever wanted to kill me wanted it to look like an
accident. After Seattle I went to my family home in Boston to talk to my parents about
it, to which my mother said that my father would not kill his own son. My father, in
this meeting seemed upset about my mortgage loan in Canada of which I hadnt told
anyone except my realtor and lender. He put his mobile phone turned on in my
mothers car while he listened to our conversations in another place and that evening
would complain about what we had talked about., and I was afraid of what his paranoia
could lead to such as had happened in the past when I was living with him. The
conversation in the car was my asking mom if he lied all the time or just some times.

Some blonde woman in a green truck had been following me in Canada so I took down
her license plate number; I also mentioned the surveillance to my oldest brother and he
asked sarcastically Why would someone follow someone as unimportant as you? My
mother called my father a good liar when he tried to explain to me how he found out
that that I had taken out a loan, he said it was through a search by his tax attorney
since he had been granted a tax gift write-off for my house and my mother said he had
mortgaged another house to get that money, I wondered now years later how that could
been possible if my trust account had been formed when I was in high school.

At the Boston passport agency, the man at the window giving me my new passport told
me that I might be investigated due to lost passports. I swear that I never gave any
passports away nor would I ever give such materials away; someone had stolen one
from my drawer and after noticing it gone I went directly to the police, I was pick
pocketed a different time at a bar, and one was lost to a huge apartment fire. A worn out
passport with loose material I also swear to never have given away nor any missing
pages at all.

In the past my father had asked his best friend, a previous Boston detective in risk
management undercover operations to investigate me at my home and of my bank
account.That friend of his and I confided in each other about this; my father didnt
know we had previously discussed this activity, so now I arranged a scheduled meeting
of us three at my fathers office. There, his friend denied surveillance on me,
encouraging me to play along with him, he there said I owe your father my life.

It was possible that both my father and the state department had their own reasons to
surveillance me, but I am innocent, and after the attempts on my life it began to look as
though my father was using an inside man as he called them. One man named Gary or
Jerry was later arrested and fingerprinted in Davao , a red brown haired foreigner was
well known that downtown area and he sat down with me and told me that they

(whoever they were) had people inside the FBI so that I should not call for their help.
Gary had also been inside my house and pointed at a photo of my father advising never
to cross him. I told Jerry that I would not be his friend because he had invited me into a
drug house there.

Only my father ever put on record such as phone and emails to my other family or my
old associates hat he insists I to be ill which is not true, and I began to believe that he
went out of his way to say that for his own reasoning. My guess was that either he lied to
further dismiss the old molestation findings in first grade or to have tax benefits, or
even to facilitate a murder for hire.

I went to the Philippines to visit a pen pal and decided to stay a while for a break. A
restaurant that I had begun setting up there had failed due to equipment removed at
the last minute. I moved to a different city named Cebu, on invitation from a girlfriend
that I dated; she had visited me in Davao from Cebu. I was broke monetarily at that
point, so I asked for a repatriation loan to help get me back to the United States. I
explained to my family again that I had been jumping from cities and from hotel to
hotel because tough strangers were threatening me, and strangely some of them
mentioned a science fiction story I wrote and had given a copy to my family to give
their opinion for development and thought it was so silly a story that I deleted my
copies and asked them to do the same. I was so determined to start a career in science
fiction writing which is why I had chosen to buy a West Vancouver condo by the water
to write at, that I sent one copy hastily to the office if the secretary of state whose first
wife I knew personally briefly; she asked me to help her get into her house the day she
moved next door and I was the smallest kid around. Only my family had been sent a
copy to review for editing.

In Cebu, at my girlfriends family house I felt bad because it was a very bad place and I
wanted to go to the States soon. Her mom was pimping her and her brothers delivered
her customers from the province in an ice cream truck while I waited outside her room
for them to finish a gangbang; it was heart breaking, I remain in love with a part of her
to this day. I requested a government repatriation loan and so a female worker in the
embassy from Arlington, Massachusetts acted as a liaison to me and the citizen
services, and she requested 2500 dollars as an estimate from my father for travel fees
but he only lent 1500 which was not enough for the ticket and exit clearance fees. That
month while waiting, some Caucasian man with died black hair walked by my
girlfriends home doorway in Cebu and we particularly noticed him because we were in
an ethnic ghetto with only Philippinos. Later that week or so later a new Caucasian
man with two cowering policemen stood outside our house observing, so I went
outside to greet them. The white man snarled at me when I asked where he was from.
He said in an American accent Im from France. I became afraid but remained polite.

(The previous month, on a night out dancing, I lightly joked in public that I was from
France because it meant something to me about how to treat others with class, a
gesture in honor of an old mentor of mine who once spoke in French by me to the
Secretary of defense when I was a teen). The lesson I was taught
I am always a proud American and a loving person but this apparent investigator was
upset about that or something else. He asked me how I made my money so I told him
E*TRADE I told him that I didnt want to be bothered, but the next day another
Caucasian, very friendly, came up to me and asked me if I was from France (he and I
agreed that we met a year earlier at the mall when he asked me for spare money.

(If I say a swear word and then say pardon my French, then what would happen? I now
joke to myself in fear)
I left Cebu, made an arrangement with my family to borrow money each month, also at
that time I had grievances of losing my Canada house, and both being too afraid of
these people and my familys denial that anything was at this point their attitude was
one of conspirators.

One of my brothers entrusted with the shipment of my houses items 20,000 dollars
worth left them to be thrown away in Canada and I would have made other
arrangements if he had told me , and I gave him two months time to do that, which he
said he would. Then my girlfriend became pregnant.

All my life I prayed to have a family and finally I could really make one. Coincidentally I
had prayed at a church the week before when we made love, I prayed for a miracle.
Every day from
that day she became pregnant I took my girlfriend by the hand to get a folic acid pill.;
I laid down towels onto the apartment floor to avoid slips and later I sung and whistled
to my baby inside of her .My girlfriend guessed that it would be a girl. I called my father
about the men outside my house and he said Thats what happens when you wrote
that letter Somehow he secretly found out about the letter I wrote while at the citizen
services applying for the repatriation loan which noted I feared a threat from my father
and that he was using my name to hide taxes (I needed my tax refunds if any to buy a
ticket).

Towards the end of my girlfriends pregnancy about six months into term, there was a
break in attempt at our apartment through the air conditioner duct a d also the front
door, I was terrified and more that 911 did not answer and my girlfriend yelled out not
tonight near the air conditioner her family has a hit man currently in jail and I did not

trust anyone. After I held them off with a barricade, morning came and I ran out the
door to the police station and during the taxi ride I called my father and he said to me
to go to the hospital, I was not hurt. And then he said I guess you did a public service.

I had to suspect my father more and more so during my visit to him after the Seattle
incident took a copy of one his financial records on a hunch to tuck it away . Soon after
giving my address to my parents for sending my high school transcripts to me for my
criminology studies some Caucasian men showed up at a coffee bar across the street
from my hotel and one called me by my Hebrew name, and he also strangely enough
showed me his elbow just as my fathers best friend Paul had when Paul made it a point
to remember it. That same man was seen by my hotel room when a paper similar
looking to the one I copied disappeared from my red folder.

I had not signed any privacy waiver with the state department yet he found out about
my emergency calls to them.

At 7 1/2 months pregnant my girlfriend brutally murdered my baby girl, and she
laughed at how the baby girl struggled to survive her squeezing it, I could not stop her
because I let her go to the bathroom alone, and she would have said I hurt her if I
decide to hold ber down.

May my beautiful baby girl be at peace in Heaven, I love you. I blame the fact I had only
100 dollars that month to feed us and she would scream while on her back for thirty
minutes at a time but I couldn'tt afford to take her to a hospital for live in care, for the
pregnancy, I also couldn'tt stop her from sneaking away for hours at a time. I sent her
to the neighbors to sell h items for cash but instead she disappeared to give blowjobs
and use drugs. I tracked down those people and they said she was a monster and for me
to be careful of men outside with guns. When I found out after she came home, I yelled
at her , I begged her not to kill y baby a few different times on my hands and knees I
grabbed her hand and begged her with all my heart. I also went to the Lapu Lapu police
station which also a consulate man had recommended on the telephone, and I used the
telephone in the family services wing to the right side and called the consulate; I begged
the consulate officer to call my dad and ask for money because we had none, and that if
the baby didnt get the help she needed, then the baby would die I only know that my
father had been in contact with the consulate somehow any ways, and I dont know
how any of these things could have happened. I love you child.

A loan services company in Mactan near Deca 3 owned by an Australian and his wife
suddenly stopped our loan at the last minute and I had already just paid in full with

expectations of another loan. The owner of the loan place explained that I already have
a trust account that I should ask money from, not his office. I had no idea that I had a
trust account, except that I did remember seeing an irrevocable trust account folder
blue colored in book form left on the coffee table at home when I was in high school.

The child 7 1/2 months inside was already developing a personality, and she would be
very smart a d beautiful like her parents.

My family had accepted my invitation for the birth ceremony but now declined to
come. During the pregnancy term I had shared my plan about being a sole parent to
raise my child in another country and to find an appropriate mother to nurture her. My
sister that period sent me an email that she heard about the Caucasian men outside my
room but I had never told anyone but the embassy about that happening. A night duty
officer had learned something about
that truth he said his name was Noel . I called several times begging for help and that I
was a
good person, and that American men had been bringing Philippine men seemingly as
witnesses to my houses intimidating me with verbal scares of shooting me, it was
becoming an incident regularly. My sister sent me a birthday card two weeks after the
babys death, expressing her best birthday wishes. After a proper burial for my girl, I
continued to care for my girlfriend even though we are not compatible, she also had no
real family.
Each the of two Christmases after a very strange thing happened. I suddenly developed
a puffy mark my leg, a different Christmas on my arm, and then very heavy symptoms
like a venom combined with MDMA, a poison that grew stronger over several hours. It
did happen a few other times as well. These events happened while I processed papers
in line or at the mall. I knew I had been poisoned either by touch, spray, dust, or dart
The affects gradually increased over several hours suggesting that the poison would
dissolve under the skin or be absorbed.
Soon before I left the Philippines, I was poisoned while actually at the NBI exit
clearance office; I had to literally crawl up the stairs to my hotel. Previously months
earlier, a S.U.V full of people were heard talking in the parking lot outside my room
(after one time I was poisoned) about shooting me and they came to my girlfriend while
I left the hotel and some woman named Ruby she said talked about poison to my
girlfriend and so my girlfriend notarized papers about this incident with a lawyer
named Villas in Bohol she was too afraid to stay in Cebu because of these people.Also
around that time a Lorega barangay captain named Jack near her house seemed
perplexed while stopping me on the street why someone Unknown had asked him to
stop me.

I had to go through the exit clearance process twice for no reason at all which caused
more
than a months delay waiting for the exit clearance papers. The final papers mentioned
the word
humanitarian reasons while clearing me.

called my mother when I was poisoned once and I had gone to the Manila embassy
twice in one day begging for help and showing then puffy mark on my arm while the
poison progressed and the American law enforcement officer had asked me to come
but not that particular day regarding being harassed by whom I thought were passport
investigators, he wanted to know if I had evidence. As soon as I became poisoned I
panicked as the poisons symptoms grew so I jumped in a taxi when the symptoms
started and we drove for five hours. I made the call to my mom and she was
emotionless, and I explained my last will and testament made out to Donald J Trump
and Steven F. Seagal since the president could access the video of my puffy mark ( I
tried to be creative how I sought help)

The hotel staff who witnessed and signed the will according to international law were at
the White Knight hotel near the immigration office. My first night there, a black
foreigner used the office computer and since then, the manager says the camera
system was sabotaged, he called him a bastard. This reminds me, that when I was
poisoned while in line at the National Bureau of Investigation for my exit clearance,
another black foreigner was introduced to me, he was behind the desk of the receivers
booth. where fingerprint cards were given, the Philipino worker introduced us was red
and shaking.

I called a retired Israeli Defense Force commander working there in security who sent
two men who helped me to switch hotels before leaving the Philippines. (It was his
contact information sheet that was stolen from the pre mentioned red folder at my
Cebu hotel room a few years

earlier, which might have been confused with my fathers financial record, they were
both faxes. Two men came to help me transfer, and I called my mom who asked
coincidentally if two men were going to help me.
What happened in Baguio City connected all the murder attempts on my life because
it connected together some of the people including my father and one of the men
surveillancing me.

The address 26 c Imus Highway for the repatriation loan was registered only with the
State Department and so I didnt know how the man with the two cowering policemen
and his girlfriend found me unless the embassy told them and he had asked me how I
made my money.

During the last several months in Philippines my father on the phone would strongly
interject into our normal topic phone conversations with the strange comments You
are very brave, I had not mentioned what happened.

In Baguio city at a public market I visited a crafts store and a young policeman named
James stood beside me, he played with knives and he said when I questioned him that
he practiced judo at the YMCA; it was then that I noticed the same man who walked by
26c Imus highway during processing my repatriation loan, and this time his dyed black
hair was light brown.

I had sarcastically said to my girlfriend there that next time someone would try to kill
me they might also try by heart attack, so firstly I would prove that I am in great health
(I currently carry my heart EKG results, showing perfect health with me at all times. I
would get a full health exam like I had many other times for a foreign working visa, so I
made an appointment at a hospital atop Accession road near an art cafe that I wanted
my girlfriend to sometimes study at. The appointment was scheduled for after the
weekend I think Monday at 8:30. I had arrived already and waited with the intern for an
hour; later the doctor came.
I waited, and the male attendant I tern had attached the electrodes and he knew about
the heart in general so we talked about it and looked at mine on the monitor, it was like
an
ultrasound. It was normal as in previous exams and he saw the ultrasound and said it
was definitely normal again as usual.

The nurse there explained the running machine test that came later and if I felt faint to
hit the red button, she left.

About an hour later the doctor and a new nurse walked in together, she wore a mask
and she explained to me that if I felt faint NOT to press the red button BUT to tell her
instead, and she then guided me to the running machine. The monitor was to my left
between the doctor and
I, and I only watched the monitor.
I walked at barely above normal walking pace when I saw that my heart rate was 120 to

130 beats per minute, but I just walked normally so I asked the doctor about it and he
snapped at me that how should I know anything. (I was raised by a Harvard trained
doctor).

I asked him again because I knew it was very unusual, to say the least, and he snapped
again
that he was busy with procedure.
At that moment staring at the monitor while I barely walked my heart rate jumped
from 160 to 190 on the monitor during which I felt the strong sense of some chemical
entering my bloodstream. Frantically, I took the electrodes off and wiped off any
contact areas. I said I was
late for an appointment. I grabbed more than enough money to pay for this
appointment from
my pockets and politely proceeded to leave while nearly suffering from a chemically
induced heart attack The doctor got out his cell phone and called someone just like
the past investigators had, and while he reached for a nearby nun.

Four guards came to stop me outside the entrance even though I already paid in full. I
explained to them that I was leaving, and late to an appointment. They blocked my way
with the intention to bring me back, so I ran as fast as I could up the hospitals private
road to the main street, when a big lady stepped out from the streets entrance and so
did my girlfriend from another angle. That lady told me to go back. I said there was no
reason to stop me that I had already paid, and I said that several times. The lady said
she was a police lady so I said to please call more police but she didnt comment. My
girlfriend said you almost gave me a heart
attack I offered the guards 10,000 pesos each to let me pass. The lady whom I gave my
payment at the desk near the examining room ran up he road and waived the receipt,
she saved me and

Finally, I yelled my name loudly and that they had "poisoned me", at which point they
let me walk away.

If anything happens to me there are 3 FBI references in my name, a video of me inside

the Manila embassy showing my puffy mark, police blotters at San Mateo, Mactan,
Cebu, and the NBI headquarters, a man named Jun at Deca three houses in Mactan
can shed light on one visit by himself with another and a Caucasian man to my
doorstep talking about shooting me, and then another Caucasian man named Gerry or
Gary (He had red hair was sell known in the area was arrested later in Davao and was in
jail) who actually came inside my room and made a direct reference to my father as
someone not to dare cross, ( he also referred to my science fiction story, local pub

owners rumoured he was protected by Feds and ne carried a Philipine police I.D from
Quezon city with his photo on it.

I have no interests in talking about people also for fear of retaliation. I do not know
anyone in law enforcement personably but I nave the utmost respect for them.

I offer a reward to work off in payments and so I put an advertisement in Philippines

seeking information leading to the arrest of this hit team. Being murdered is the most
horrible experience and I have not wronged anyone!

While getting off the running machine I made a positive identification that the doctor
was the same as a year earlier in Cebu, the night I called for an ambulance at the
Escario Hotel where I stayed, it was the day after that four Philippine special agents
appeared outside my room, and a food delivery had been laced. They there parked four
identical sports cars, and commented to me about their similarities to Americas I.C.E.

That doctor gave me a poisonous pill from his pocket, it was the same doctor positively.
I ran away to throw it up when I felt a huge drop in vital signs from it, just after he
refused to take my blood pressure. The ambulance I called for had decided to just sit at
my house and not drive so I took a taxi to the hospital emergency room when I ran into
him.

The doctor is described as 58 barrel chested 215 pounds with moustache and goatee,
a dark tanned man about 45 to 50 years old. That night in particular was the day or so
before the SUV of people showed up of which my girlfriend notarized a statement
about to attorney Villas in Bohol.
The hospital emergency room he furst tried to kill me at was Soccer hospital in Cebu
and the Baguio hospital was at top of Assession road near the art caf community. The
book cover is a portrait I made of him.

(
My
contact
information
is
my
email
address
currently
books.chronicfriends@posteo.DE I did put a blood sample away from one time I was
poisoned.
I am a good person with good characteristics and I do good things, and I am noble and
honest too.
I have been a victim, and everything I have said here is completely true).

(The following book was written after publishing already on Amazon kindle: my older
brother called and texted me on Skype out of the blue)
After I published on Kindle 2016 2017 Law
Enforcement Save Lawrence Yudowitzs Life: Help Stop this Hit team Now

To stop a hit team, a fake honor killing?

I had done very well on the entrance exam score at Dexter School and after leaving that
school at seventh grade I was 2 years above public school level, yet my mother said that
my friends houses were too far away to drive me to, so she wanted me in the public
school by my house.

I sincerely asked my parents to give me to a foster home several times pre elementary
but they just laughed.

I watched my mother over the years fall victim to such a degree that she could not
control herself to cry and break down into a hysterical mess at what could be absolutely
nothing. I had been just outside the room several times bearing my father lie to her that
she was imagining things that were completely real, sometimes about her thoughts that
I was angry at ber.

Money and favors was the way my father prevented others from interfering. Everyone
that I
asked for help all said to me that they would not help because my father had helped
them.

An example, my sister was in the car with him, when he chased me down the road and
rammed his car into my drivers side because he had thought that I passed his car
without lights as a way to hide from him, but actually I had just came out of a parking
spot with my classmate Nyugen Weeks and forgot to turn them on,

He often accused me of things that he imagined but no one would challenge him
because he was a prominent figure. An officer Weinstein in Brookline said that he is the
premier doctor in Boston

At a hotel while on a bus 'Tuck Tour's with my parents, I was asleep in our room when
my father kicked in the room door breaking the padlock and began beating my head,
that was what woke me up, I was so tired from the bus ride. After that particular event I
put a baseball bat near my bed at home out of fear.

Strangely enough my father also had a court case about a teen who murdered another
boy with a bat, but I was not at all anything like that person but the opposite and
peaceful.
While I did my school thesis on Body Mind my brother had done his on how the
neighbor known
as Sleazy Stew made his money , showing the contrast in my family I was generally
scared of my father but my father insisted that I take some lithium pills from his friend
his friend was the chief editor for the worlds psychopharmacological journal, and we all
saw him for some therapy.

He gave my father lithium pills but he wouldn't take anti psychotics in fear it would be
noticed, but my father took them only for a short while because he said it made him
worse,
and my brother came to him and said some line front John Lennon The quote was that
psychotics
build the castle that neurotics live in.

That doctor refused to talk about the family abuses or the time my dad threw a
sprinkler at y brothers head which made a huge hole in our kitchen, or the other hole in
my hallway wall from when my other brother broke his own arm in a rage at my dad.

My father soon after asked me to sign my name on papers, often we lined up as

children to co sign papers, but I never read the papers, and so this time he said it was
to apply social disability assistance so that the state would pay me a check every month,
and told them that I
am not disabled so would not lie by signing. My father wanted to say that I had the
problem and not him. All my siblings left Massachusetts right after high school to go far
away from him. I stayed until I realized too, that his behavior was too bizarre to live
nearby.

My father used our family therapy or also our individual therapy sessions to get
information for himself to act upon, he made phone calls often to our therapist to gain
his control and manipulation of situations, even had a sociologist move into an
apartment of mine, and hired men to move in next door without first informing me and
for no apparent reasons. My Roommate Rose in Portland who sold noodles from carts
opened his package sent to me, one had his pills he sent, Prozac but I didNt not know
why he would ask me to take any pills, because I was normal; I thought he couldn'tt
get over his day job and wanted to carry his profession with him into the family life and
he imagined so much..

When my family lived together my father told us he went away for a few days
sometimes but we caught him peering through the windows at night while we ate
dinner, and it went further than that. In high school men followed me in their cars
taking u-turns when I did, and my mother told me that it must be because I was bad,
but I was not stupid so I told my aunt
Ruthie, and so she confronted my mother and then told me they had used their friend
Detective ** Mcsweeney who ran a surveillance team. They lied to their therapist and
mine too about that, always acting above the law and as if nothing happened. Their
friend who gave him the Litium also gave some to me, and I kept it a secret about my
drug experimentation at the time and he could not tell; my brother sent me pot in the
mail and when i got caught smoking it my siblings created an intervention or sit down
that it prevented me from doing homework, and my sister also said in therapy that she
could use it because she did her homework. I noticed
early on that my family fights hurt my motivation to do homework and my grades
declined.
I, like anyone else would want to know how could parents do these things too
children. My mother shared some things, even though my father threatened her life
often, either strangling her or threatening to close one of her bank accounts. She wrote
to me said that things were so bad at home is the reason as a family mine never got
help. I called one of the
family therapist my mother saw regularly and he said that according to his notes my
parents had
said that everything was fine at home, which contradicted the report I found and what
dozens of others who knew our home could say.

I bought a house in Canada and things didnt go well; I could not pass the border at
one point and my father was angry that I took out a loan for a business at which point
strange people began threatening me and he seemed to be a part of it, He thought I
had manipulated him for the gift house and so did my mom, they even said that I had
lied about wanting to move to Canada at all.

When I was sexually abused, I never asked for that abuse and I never intended to talk
about that with anyone, but it was something that bothered me a lot in daily life with
sex shame and once a therapist asked me about that I realized that it needed to be dealt
with to avoid a life in shame. He had touched my elbow and asked me what it reminds
me of when I first began to talk about it. When I did deal with that issue I discovered
that was the reason I switched to another school in second grade, had lost all my
previous friends also, because the first Park school had seen the evidence of sexual
abuse and so my parents dealt with that by moving and denying it ever happened. My
father said that I should be ashamed to bring up this topic as sexual assaults on me.

I had asked my mom to talk to me about these issues as recommended with an

intermediary, but while men showed up to kill me, I made calls to her and she
frantically held up papers of emails over the phone line, she said that I sent the printed
emails in her hands to her; she said it was all lies. Ever since the men appeared to kill
me, my parents have disconnected most contact. My parents had told me in the past
they only planned to have three children, and I
did try not take that too hard, but when the first men tried to kill me and I spoke to
them
about it, my mother acted more strangely and even denied she was my mother, she
said a neighbor had raised me as a child, so she really began distancing from me as
soon as the first murder attempts on me began. I called her to please allow me to
borrow money to hire a bodyguard because I was escaping killers, and she said that
particular time that she would think about it.

My father protects himself with *** Mcsweeney, who knows many judges personally
and the Boston police attendant told me over the phone to stay out of Boston if there is
an apparent contract on my life.
Last time I called the home, my mother said it was too awkward to talk to me. My oldest
brother whom I hadnt heard from in a long time sent me the chat last month on skype
AFTER I published on Amazon Kindle the '2016 writing

There is money

send email. Confirming that you want me to be trustee and not *** sulman

tell me now if you do nto want me involved. I am doing this to help you. It is not
something I

want to do

Larry: I dont want you involved m***

honestly I dont trust you

M***: then shulman will do it

i will call dad now

all family contact crom now on eill be though shulman

I will block u now bye

This same brother had been there in the same room while I was molested and he yelled
bad names like pervert and fag at the molester, but he will now say the events never
happened. I Loved the molester and would honor him as most as could, and how could
I heal if I didnt deal with that issue, and the family had actually asked me to deal with
the issues in therapy and the therapist actually recommended me to talk one on one
with my family about it, but they deny it happened.

This brother lost 20,000 dollars of my house items the year or so earlier and out of the
blue and soon after murder attempts on me he calls me to ask presiding over my trust
that I just found out about. My other brother who has children lied recently and said
to never tell a murderer that he is wrong.

2016 I was told that there is A

warrant on my life by a consulate officer: What is that and why me?

Having been poisoned I went to the embassy and claimed there was evidence to
support that someone was trying to kill me, that I was invited to the consulate to speak
to a federal law enforcement officer from over the phone. The lady behind the window
was very nervous and red in the face and said there was nothing the consulate could do
for me and that I have to leave the embassy then. I told her to please call for the

federal law enforcement officer a second time, but she said he was still not available to
see me, and that even if I waited he would stall not be available that day. I barely
survived this day in Manila having later to crawl on my hands and knees. I had jumped
in a taxi after leaving the embassy and after five hours riding in it the poison had taken
so much control that I was losing consciousness and vital signs, called my mother on
what I believed was going to be my last breath but my mother was unemotional and
unresponsive on the phone after she picked it up, she pretended not to listen..

Poetry dedicated to children who lost their lives who might have been a messiah for
every child is our responsibility to serve.

A poem for our Messiahs

My Hero
A flower with beauty outstretched, Petals beneath the shade,
Thunderstorms from the furthest black swade,
Sunshine from true country colors
Brings in a new year,
Sweet flower syrup dripping with some clean rain from a different sway,
a child beneath whos soul sings above,
Seeking refuge in her fathers strength,
he takes over for her, to live in honor for her,

Soon only clean rain showers.

For her, The flowers glow under a better rainbow only as we. Also glow like a flower
with

true. Country colors for the children. And hope of a better tomorrow.

A Twirl on a Girl

A twirl on a girl

Any girl with a twirl may do so

For a whirl

But she will return to her pure untangled state of being

like she first appeared in our world.

Part 2 A Girl With a Twirl

A twirl on a girl

If there becomes a twirl, on a girl

in other words if she turns wide. or sways sides, To twirl her hair say in a fashionable
way

She will learn to come back to her pureful way, and untangle her hair,

Just like it was when she came out our way, that very first day.

Our girl growing up might see better days, the way they were. Meant to be.