Navigation

DC IELTS

a teacher's guide to free IELTS preparation

Adsby Google

EssayWrite

PlayGames

IELTSVideo

IELTSEssay

IELTS computer games essay

0

This is a sample essay on computer games. Youll find notes on the essay to help you write it below.
These notes are organised into these sections to help you understand how IELTS essays works:
planning and understanding the question
structure and task response
vocabulary and ideas
coherence and cohesion
grammar

Planning and understanding the question

An increasing trend nowadays is for young adults to play computer games. Some people say this is a
negative development. Discuss and give your opinion.
Structure
This is a discussion essay where you need to give your opinion. How you approach the essay will depend
slightly on what you think. In this essay I state a strong opinion that it is a negative development and all my
content paragraphs are negative. It is equally possible to take a more balanced approach and say that it
is partly positive. In that case one content paragraph would be positive
Addressing the topic

Note that the question asks you about young adults and computer games this means that all your ideas
should focus on those points. Any points that relate to children for example would be irrelevant. This is a
point I discuss in detail in this lesson on addressing the topic in IELTS essays.

The Computer Games Essay

There can be little doubt that more and more people are becoming addicted to computer games and
this is especially true for young adults. My view is this is a dangerous development for both society
and the people concerned.
The dangers to society of computer gaming addiction among young adults are clear. There is strong
evidence to show that there is a connection between violent crime and playing games that do not
respect human life. It has been shown for instance that while there is little harm in a few hours of
recreational gaming a week, people who spend many hours a day at their gaming consoles are much
more likely to commit crimes. This is particularly true of young men in their twenties and thirties who
are typically the section of society who become most addicted to games.
The problems that too much gaming can cause young adults as individuals are equally apparent. One
particular problem is that they are at a stage of life when they need to concentrate on establishing
relationships and perhaps starting families. Again there is evidence to show that people who play too
many games find it more difficult to build a lasting relationship and if they do, they provide a poor
example to their children.
Another set of problems that gaming addiction can cause in this age bracket is at work. This is
because too much gaming can cause loss of concentration and that in turn can lead to reduced
efficiency in the workplace. This is of course a problem for the company and may also lead to the
individual failing to get promotion or even being fired.
In conclusion my own view is very clear. The growth of the gaming habit among young adultscan
have negative effects for society as a whole and individuals both at home and at work.
(310 words)

Notes on essay structure and task response

Length
This essay is perhaps a little long at 310 words the third topic paragraph is included to give you more
ideas. The essay would be complete without that paragraph
Focus on question
Note how each paragraph refers to young adults and computer games. Its important to do this to get
task response right. An easy mistake to make is to talk about the dangers of computer games in general.

Clear position
You should see how I identify a clear position in the introduction (they are bad) and develop that through
the whole essay. It is a good idea to be 100% clear about your position and use phrases such as My view
is eg
My view is this is a dangerous development for both society and the people concerned.
Note also that it is important to maintain that position throughout the essay. See how I reflect it in the
opening sentences of the content paragraphs and the conclusion. This is one area where there is no
problem in repeating words or ideas you just want to vary them slightly as in
In conclusion my own view is very clear.
Introduction
This is a short/light introduction. Two sentences can be enough. I clearly identify the topic of the question
and establish my own position. An alternative approach would be to use 3 sentences to say:
1. This is happening.
2. I think its bad.
3. Im going to discuss why
Content paragraphs
Note how each content paragraph is about a different aspect of the effect of computer games. I organise
my ideas carefully. The first is about society and crime, the second family and home life and the third about
work.
Note also that each paragraph starts with a clear (and quite short) sentence stating what the problem/main
point is. I develop that point in the other sentences with reasons and examples that relate to young adults.
Conclusion
The conclusion matches the introduction closely. This is a good idea. I dont introduce any new points I restate my point of view and quickly summarise the main points: society/family/work

Notes on vocabulary and ideas

Vocabulary
This essay is about young adults and playing computer games. I have highlighted in red and blue the
words and phrases I use for these ideas. You should see:

there is quite a lot of repetition this is not a bad thing provided there is also some variety. It can help
to repeat words and phrases to help the examiner see what you are talking about. This is part of
cohesion.
there is also variety I dont try too hard here for clever words I vary the form of words quite a lot
(e.g. addiction and addicted) this is smart.
Some of the best vocabulary comes in the use of examples. I use collocations such as
respect human life
build a lasting relationship
provide an example to
loss of concentration
commit crimes
establish a relationship
start families
This is a useful model for you to follow. It is language like this that impresses.
Ideas
I did have more ideas for this essay but I concentrated on 2/3. You should see how each paragraph is a
separate idea. I then develop that idea briefly with a reason and examples that clearly relate to young
adults:
Idea 1
problem for society connection between violent games and crime young adults play these
games most
Idea 2
problem for individual people who play games are bad at relationships young adults are
building relationships
Idea 3

problem for individual games addiction bad for performance at work young adults are starting
jobs

I found these ideas by thinking of the word addiction and then asking when why where how. This is
a technique I discuss in this lesson on finding ideas.
If you run out of ideas you can make them up!!! This can work well when you need an example to prove a
point. In this essay I talk about evidence for gaming causing crime. I dont have it. Thats not a problem.
More ideas
There are more ideas I didnt use in this essay. Here are a few positive ideas for you to think about.
Different types of games:
some games are creative e.g. city building games can be seen as positive as they build important
skills and provide information about how society works relevant to young adults
some games are educational e.g. language based games that can help educate young adults who
may have a poor educational background
Gaming communities: people meet other people by playing games online another positive

Notes on coherence and cohesion

Structure
This essay is extremely coherent. I identify my position in the introduction and say that it is a problem for
both society and the individual. The first content paragraph talks about the society problem (crime) and the
following paragraphs talk about individual problems (family and work).
Parallel words/structures and synonyms

Note how the different content paragraphs start with similar phrases. It can help to borrow language from
one paragraph to another.
The dangers to
The problems that
Another set of problems

are parallel words/structures that show the examiner that I am writing about something similar but different
in each paragraph.Note how I vary these words and dont just repeat them. Note too how I vary clear and
apparent two words that mean the same thing:
are clear

are equally apparent

This is helps the examiner see that I am linking ideas together.
Reasons and examples
In each paragraph I use reasons and examples. Both content paragraphs 1/2 follow a PEE pattern where
I say something, explain it and give an example. You might note how I use evidence to provide
examples. If youre looking for a more advanced way to use examples this works well, eg
There is evidence that
It has been shown that

Notes on grammar
The grammar is varied. This matters. I use both shorter and simpler sentences as well as more complex
structures.
Simple structures
Do not ignore the use of simple sentences when you want to make a point clearly. This is typically when
you are writing your topic sentences. Here are mine:
The dangers to society of computer gaming addiction among young adults are clear.

The problems that too much gaming can cause young adults as individuals are equally apparent.
Another set of problems that gaming addiction can cause in this age bracket is at work.
More complex structures
If you want to see some more complex structures you can use for yourself, look at these relatives:

It has been shown for instance that while there is little harm in a few hours of recreational gaming a
week, people who spend many hours a day at their gaming consoles are much more likely to commit
1
crimes
This is particularly true of young men in their twenties and thirties who are typically the section of
society who become most addicted to games.

Again there is evidence to show that people who play too many games find it more difficult to build a
lasting relationship and if they do, they provide a poor example to their children.

These are all defining relative clauses. This is a complex structure that is very useful in essays. You want
to be precise when you write so you define exactly who you are talking about. How do you that? You use
relative clauses. If this is a new idea to you matching grammar to meaning I suggest you check out this
lesson on relative clauses.

Find more sample IELTS essays with guidance notes

Sample IELTS essays

Get more help with IELTS preparation on the main pages of my

site
Home page
Speaking Guide
Writing Guide
Essay writing guide
Academic task 1 guide
Letter writing guide
Reading guide

Keep up with me on Facebook - all the updates and even more advice
there

Listening guide

IELTS vocabulary
IELTS grammar

Or just get all my free lessons by email

Subscribe to DC IELTS by Email
How to address the topic in IELTS essays

IELTS airport letter

One Response to IELTS computer games essay

Nainesh September 27, 2016 at 9:24 am #

REPLY

Thanks a lot of make this website

It is really helpful for me for further studies

Leave a Reply

Name

Email (will not be published)

Website

SUBMIT COMMENT

Follow me on Google Plus

DC IELTS
1 circle

+1

+ 141

Advert

DC IELTS on Facebook

1weekago

DoyouneedhelpwithyourspeakingorwritingforIELTSviaSkype?

Helendoesn'thaveasetIELTScourse.Shedoessomethingmucmoreuseful.

She looks at her students, talks to them about what they need and then gives them professional help to
meettheirneedsin...Seemore
AnIELTStutorviaSkypewhocanhelpwithspeakingandwritingforIELTS

Viewonfacebook

1weekago

Practiceforspeakingaboutleisureactivitieswhatyoulikeanddislike

Here'sagoodweekendactivity:thinkaboutwhatyouenjoydoing.
Dothis:makealistofwhatyoulikeandthentryandexplainwhyyoulikedoingit.It'sexactlythesortof
thingyouneedtodo...Seemore
Anideaforhowtopractisespeakingaboutleisureactivitiesandgivingmorefluentanswerswhentalking
aboutlikesanddislikes

Viewonfacebook

1weekago

HowtotalkaboutapersoninIELTS

IfyouwanttotalkaboutapersoninIELTSithelpstothinkdetail.Wheredoyougetthatdetail?Mostoften
itcomesfromusingexamples.Thinktimesandplacesbeasspecificasyoucan.
Italso...Seemore

How to talk about a person in IELTS with advice on how to use your preparation time, structure your
answer,giveextendedexamplesandtalkaboutpersonalityandrelationships

Viewonfacebook

1weekago

Personalityidiomswordsandphrases

This is not so much a list of words to describe people but different ways to do it. You'll find some handy
adjectivesandidiomsandsomecommonspokenphrases.
Theideaisthatifyouwantto...Seemore

Some personality idioms words and phrases for describing people and their characters in IELTS part
speaking:

Viewonfacebook

1of7

Adsby Google

HowtoWriteIELTSEssay
HelpMeWriteEssay

Get my videos on Youtube

DCIELTS
YouTube

2K

Recent comments
OkewoleonPracticeforspeakingaboutleisureactivitieswhatyoulikeanddislike
CarmenonIELTSreadingmatchingfeaturestutorial
AnonymousonTwopiechartsaboutemployees
karanonEnquiryonResultsgettingyourIELTSremarked
DominicColeon10practicaltipsforwritingbetterexamessays

LATEST

POPULAR

Practice for speaking about leisure activities what you like and dislike
NOVEMBER 5, 2016

How to talk about a person in IELTS

NOVEMBER 4, 2016

Personality idioms words and phrases

NOVEMBER 3, 2016

Employee of the year letter

OCTOBER 31, 2016

Not very but really quite pretty using adverbs more flexibly
OCTOBER 30, 2016

Aboutme
MynameisDominicColeandIfirststartedprovidingfreeonlineIELTSlessonssometimein2007justtoseeifIcould
makeitwork.Todiscovermoreaboutmeyou'llfindoutmorehere:
DominicCole

Howtocontactme
Emailcontact
Facebookpage
Twitterpage
Linkedin

Cantfindwhatyouneed?Searchthissite
Search...

Privacy

Copyright.

English