Does Bae Respect Your Boundaries?

Reflection Essay
I attended the Center for Academic Excellence event Does Bae Respect Your Boundaries?
on October 19, 2016. The event began around 6 pm with Mrs. Fernandez as the emcee. There
were four people at the head table (a junior, senior, and two counseling service representatives).
They lead discussions for the scenarios that were presented. So, the event started with Mrs.
Fernandez doing a presentation that lead to the scenarios that we were going to discuss. The first
slide was What are the characteristics of a healthy relationship?

, which the audience gave their

input on. They shouted out answers such as loyalty, respect, and trust. The second slide was
Where do we take our cues from regarding how to function in a relationship?

, which was
answered with media and family. Mrs. Fernandez mentioned that the Seven Habits of Highly
Effective

Students could be used to help you with the relationships in your life. She decided to
just focus on habit 4 and 5. Habit 4 is when you think win-win. There are four possible outcomes
to a situation you either win-lose, win-win, lose-lose, or lose-win. When you practice being in a
win-win situation, one person is considerate and the other is courageous. Habit 5 is to seek first
to understand, then to be understood. You hear people out before telling them how you feel.
Now, this is where we get into the scenarios. This was the fun and interactive part of the event.
The audience gave their opinions. The head table discussed their viewpoints on each scenario.
The first scenario started off the great debate that would continue until the last scenario.
Scenario one: Jordan and his girlfriend had been dating for a long time. One night they began
kissing each other and he was going down on her. She stopped him by deflecting from sex to
stomach issues. Even though Jordan really wanted to have sex he stopped because his girlfriend
didnt want to. They ended up watching movies instead. This shows a healthy relationship. He
showed consideration and she showed courage (guy in audience). The key to their relationship is
communication. Scenario two: A 17 year old went to a party with some friends. Her friends left
her there while she was getting drunk with guys all around her. Her and a guy at the party went
back to her dorm (she just wanted to kiss). He invited her back to his place she went (she
shouldve declined). They got back there and started to get undressed (she shouldve told him
she didnt want to do anything). They began to have sex when she told him no. He continued and
sexually assaulted her. A girl in the corner said she shouldnt have been partaking in underage
drinking. The junior at the table said she needs new friends for leaving her. The older guy at the
table said when youre drunk you cant consent to sex. He said no means no. Scenario three had
a whole lot of input from the audience and discussion table. Scenario three: Kennedy had been
suspecting Akeem to be cheating. He puts it back on her when she brings it up. Accuses her of
being the cheater. Kennedy asks for forgiveness and begs for him back. Later, Akeem proposes
that they have a threesome with someone. She really doesnt want to do it, but she doesnt want
to lose him either. My friend DAnna said, Kennedy is relying on on Akeem to fulfill her. She
feels worthless without him. The junior at the front table agreed with my friend. Someone also
said she needs to stand up for herself. It was a lot of discussion about insecurity, whether or not

he cheated, and Akeem respecting Kennedy. Scenario four: Dennis and Kayla have been dating
for a year. Kayla practices celibacy. Dennis respects that. Dennis checks out a really hot girl at
school. He gets her number and they start talking. He really wants to have sex with Crystal.
Everyone kept saying he should dump Kayla. The senior at the front table said he should dump
Kayla because he really dont love her. No one brought up how Kayla would feel. Nor did
anyone bring up Crystals role in the situation. Everyone said hes young and if he wants to have
sex then he should. Scenario five: Devon and Mysti started out their relationship on a high note.
Devon thought she was the one. Devon was an hour and a half late to meeting Mysti. Mysti
assumed the worst. She thought he was cheating. She commenced to beating him up. After that
first time, she continued beating him up for weeks after. There people in the audience who said
Mysti couldve been in a bad place in her life. The junior said she shouldve applied habit 4 and
listened to him before passing judgment. The older guy said Devon shouldve set his boundaries.
He shouldve cut that behavior out before it progressed. The senior said he should dump her.
Some people said call the cops on her. There were a few more scenarios but Mrs. Hernandez
decided to end with scenario seven and nine. Scenario seven and nine: Scenario seven was about
Kim and Deidre as roommates. Kim and Deidre were opposites but theyve been friends for a
long time so it didnt matter. Once they got to college, there differences were broadcasted from
Deidres friends. They picked on Kim and soon Deidre joined in with them. She let outside
influences affect a friendship that couldve been lifelong. Scenario nine was about Jasmine and
Paige who were roommates. Paige had a boyfriend that she had in the room consistently. Jasmine
wasnt ecstatic about it but she kept the peace. When Jasmine had enough and confronted Paige
she retaliated. Paige leaked Jasmines nudes. I feel like in scenario nine things were taken way
too far. In both cases, if youre that miserable in your situation leave get a new roommate. Thats
how the presentation ended. We were escorted into to the ACB lobby for Papa Johns pizza. It
was a long line, but I wasnt going to leave without some pizza. I got two pepperoni slices. Yum!
I enjoyed this event so much. It was very interesting. I learned a lot and laughed just as much. I
would attend again if I would be able to get the same experience. The pizza for me was just a
plus. I enjoyed the event without having the pizza, but Im glad it was there because I hadnt ate
dinner. The two main concepts that I took away from the event were be in a healthy relationship
and apply the habit 4 and 5 to your relationships. If you use the strategies mentioned at this event
you would know whether or not you were in a healthy relationship. If you arent in a healthy
relationship, change your circumstances or leave the relationship. If you apply habits 4 and 5,
you will have the tools for a healthy relationship. This event impacted my experience at A&T
because now I know what to do whether Im having man, roommate, or friend troubles. This was
a really great event. I couldnt have had a better time.