photo by maryanovich.

com
NARDWUAR VS. THE KLAXONS
NARDWUAR VS. CYNTHIA PLASTER CASTER
BRENT COOPER: SCHOOL OF ROCK
A CAROLYN MARK TOUR STORY
HOW TO MAKE A BELLA WRISTBAND
IMMACULATE MACHINE COMICS
MINT BANDS GOING TO CMW
NARDWUAR VS. THE PACK A.D.
MINT XMAS PARTY REPORT
A VANCOUGAR PUZZLE
DEAR SHANE
MORE!

CD out now 160g LP out March 4th

www.myspace.com/thepackad
 The Choir Practice
December, 8, 2007
Mint Xmas Party at Logans Pub, Victoria, BC
Photo by Shena Yoshida

free! vol. 4, no. 1 (aka issue #8!) spring 08

07 Nardwuar versus the Klaxons! 31 Nardwuar versus The Pack AD!
11 Dear Shane! 35 Venue Profile: Vancouvers Biltmore Hotel!
12 Mint Bands at Canadian Music Week! 36 An Immaculate Machine Comic!
15 Brent Cooper: Rock N Roll School Teacher! 37 Retail Profile: Pr. Georges Meow Records!
17 A Carolyn Mark Tour Diary! 38 Indie Retailers Map Canada!
21 Mint Victoria Xmas Party Report! 40 Indie Retailers Map USA!
23 A Vancougar Xmas Party Report! 42 A Mint Discography!
24 Nardwuar versus Cynthia Plaster Caster! 44 A Select Mint Discography in Colour!
28 How to Make a Bella Wristband! 46 Happy Bats DVD Reviews!
30 A Vancougar Crossword Puzzle!
Cover: The Pack A.D. at the Mint Xmas Party December 14, 2007, The Railway Club, Vancouver BC
Photo copyright Adam PW Smith www.adampwsmith.com
Above: The Choir Practice at the Mint Xmas Party December 8, 2007, Logans Pub, Victoria, BC Photo by Shena Yoshida

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M int Records Inc. is a small indie record label based out of

Vancouver, Canada. Since 1991, weve put our more than 110
releases by such bands and artists as The Organ, Novillero, The Choir
Practice, Carolyn Mark, Neko Case, The New Pornographers, The
Awkward Stage, The Evaporators, Immaculate Machine, cub, P:ano,
The Smugglers, Duplex!, The Pack A.D., Young and Sexy, Corn Sisters,
I Am Spoonbender, Vancougar, The Buttless Chaps, Bella, Huevos If you are a fan of indie pop, you simply must have to
have this record in your collection. All Music Guide
Rancheros, Ramblin Ambassadors, John Guliak, Atomic 7, and others!
Boasting classic boy/girl harmonies combined with
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Mint Records releases are distributed like so:

CBC Radio 3 Sessions features songs chosen from several Buttless Chaps releases and
versions of tracks from their most recent studio release Where Night Holds Light.
Joined by Jesse Zubot on Violin & Peggy Lee on Cello & featuring the songs
Fresh Horses, Migratory Birds and a cover of The Echo And The Bunnymen classic
The Killing Moon.
Canada: Outside Music www.outside-music.com and
Scratch Distribution www.scratchrecords.com.
USA: NAIL Distribution www.naildistribution.com
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Also, be sure to check out iTunes Music Store and Zunior.com
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Buttless Chaps 10th Anniversary Show We acknowledge the financial support of the Government of Canada through the
April 4th @ The Biltmore Cabaret, Vancouver, BC Department of Canadian Heritage (Canada Music Fund).

with special guests The Parlour Steps

Nous reconnaissons laide financire du gouvernement du Canada par lentremise
du Fonds de la musique du Canada.
 N
ardwuar: Who are you? What are
the Klaxons? Who else is in the
Klaxons?
Who am I! (laughs) I'm Jamie from the
Klaxons You got your Simon, you got your
James.
And what about the drummer?
And you got your Steffan as well. He's
about somewhere, yeah, he's sniffin' about.
Do you sometimes forget about the
drummer at all?
No, I'd never forget about him. He's here
every moment. How could I forget about
him?
It all started with...
Toronto gig at all?
How could I forget the Toronto gig? Of
course. Yeah, well I was hanging out with
my good friends Crystal Castles before we
played. Yeah, it was great.
Some Canadian content!
There we go!
How would you describe the Crystal
Castles?
I'd describe them as a bunch of demon lords
who are incredible! They actually make com-
puter music. They're a bunch of demon kids. You were also down to the east coast of
They're my favourite people on the planet.
And just to remind everybody, who are
lus..."
(laughing)
"...and dry-humped her fellow band-
mates."
She's a sexy girl. She really is.
"All set to deep breakbeats and samples
ranging from Daft Punk to 'The Final
Countdown.'"
Yeah, sorry about that one. But they did it.
It went off. She's great!
USA - you filled in for Lily Allen.
What happened there, Lily Allen just
gave up and the Klaxons came a-calling?

gassyjack.com Thank you so much for phoning into the

Nardwuar The Human Serviette Radio
Show on CiTR 101.9 In Vancouver, I
really appreciate that.
That's OK, you're more than welcome.
We were just playing because you were
a bit late phoning in a whole bunch of
Bonde Do Role. What do you have to say
Illustration by Mitch Clem! Lettering by Robynn Iwata!
you again?
I'm Jamie from Klaxons.
Yeah, you know that's how we do. She gave
us a quick bell and told us to jump on in,
and we're never shy of doing it. No prob-
Jamie from the Klaxons, who are coming lem. She's knocking around at the moment.
to Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada She's in L.A. here. We gotta find her. She's
this Sunday! You're coming to Vancouver, missing.
British Columbia, Canada.
We are, I can't wait. What was going on there? She was play-
ing a gig and then she couldn't make it,

about Bonde Do Role?
What a band. We just did, like, 10 gigs with
them. And they just essentially kicked it off
every night. They warmed up the crowd
perfectly. They got everybody right ready
for when we went on. They're perfect.
They're all a bunch of good kids. Gorky's
Glee clubs: not just for twee kids anymore Pitchforkmedia.com
hilarious.
nostalgic, wise, inspiring stuff All Music Guide
something beautifully akin to the Mamas & Papas in 3D TV Week
sunshine pop choral group Now Toronto There's some amazing stuff there from
could be a church number, in a really cool chapel The Province them. There was a review from when you
www.myspace.com/thechoirpractice played in Toronto, do you remember the
To play Richard's On Richards. And a and you guys just happened to be there,
review from Toronto, of Bonde Do Role and you played to her crowd? What hap-
how do you pronounce the name, pened, Jamie of the Klaxons?
Bonde Do Role, how do you pronounce Oh, it was great, you know. But it wasn't as
it? good as we played the other night, after. We
I think you got it! It may be some sort of played at Studio B in New York the first
"Roll," I think, yeah. night. That's a great crowd. It went down
very well thank you very much. Crowd
The review from ChartAttack.com said, went absolutely ballistic. It was just like
"Lead Singer Marina treated the audience being in London. It was great.
to an anatomy lesson while doing a cart-
wheel and used her microphone as a phal- I was curious about Lily Allen's rider,

THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS www.mintrecs.com FRESH BREATH OF MINT Spring 2008 7

coming May 13th on CD and LP:
YOUNGANDSEXY
THE ARC
www.youngandsexy.org
because there's a rumour out there that
her rider now what is your rider? Isn't
the rider for the Klaxons just postcards?
You like to have postcards in your rider.
Postcards, some decent wine, some cheese,
some fresh underwear.
I think that's great! Postcards!
Clean living boys! Clean living boys who
want to say hello to people from all over the
world.
I've heard that Lily Allen's rider con-
tained a small dog to play with. Like, she
demands having a small dog to play with.
Is this true at all, Jamie from the
Klaxons?
As it just so happens, I know that we, I
share a dog with Lily Allen! She has a dog
that she has back home and I own its broth-
er. We share dogs. I don't know if she takes
him on the road with them, but I know
she's very fond of him.
So there was no dog back-
stage when you filled in for
Lily Allen? I was just won-
dering if there was a small
dog perhaps backstage.
That would have been nice.
We'd have looked after it for
her. But sadly, no.
For riders and stuff, Jamie
of the Klaxons, I heard
do people call you the Klax-
ons a la The Klingons? Do
you have any Klingon fol-
lowing?
Surprisingly not, considering
our sci-fi reach. No. You're
the first person to mention it,
but I like it.
So no Klingons have come
up to go see the Klaxons,
cause there's a whole mar-
ket for you to get into, isn't
it?
There are, there are thousands of them!
Humanoids as well. We get them.
Well, some of the fans have talked about
seeing other bands, and you guys have
talked about other bands and other rid-
ers. For instance, the Black Rebel
Motorcycle Club, is it true that-
(laughs)
Yeah, is it true that they have Jack
Daniels bottles onstage filled with apple
juice?
I have absolutely no idea about that.
Cause you know, they're up there rocking years. I got introduced to him when I was
you laugh when I say Black Rebel
Motorcycle Club. Did you enjoy their last write one of the songs on our record. Big
album?
Yeah, no I like that band, great band.
Particularly their first record. Fantastic. I Trout Fishing In America. Now what are
know they've taken out a good friends band the U.S. audiences like? I've heard that
of ours from the U.K. called The Horrors
THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS www.mintrecs.com
on their next tour to the U.S., so that's
exciting.
How do you bond with The Horrors?
How does your music fit in with The
Horrors? Do they like you guys? Cause
you're more "modern age" than The
Horrors, aren't you?
Well, we're very good friends with them.
We've got exactly the same trajectory: came
from the same place, played the same gigs,
and you know, we're very tight, very good
friends with them. Very good boys they are.
Did you guys use any vintage organs on
any of your recordings like The Horrors?
No, but we used I think mostly old amps. I
think we have one of those knocking about,
you know. We've used an old '60s lazy amp,
gives you a whirl effect.
'Cause they're big on the Vox keyboards,
aren't they? The big Vox Super
Continental
Where the keys are reversed. Yeah, they like
all that. Spider web!
And Jamie of the Klaxons right now
you are Trout fishing in America, aren't
you?
Yeah, I'm just like Richard Brautigan.
And he is from Tacoma! What can you
tell the people about Richard Brautigan?
He's from Tacoma, Washington, not far
from Vancouver well, a couple hun-
dred miles.
Really? OK, there you go. I did not know
that. I've been a big fan of his work for
18. We borrowed from some of his work to
fan.
you guys describe the audiences as
French, that the U.S. audiences are
French!
Well, they just came across in a very French
way in some of the towns that we played in.
They've been quite studious and they're
very interested in trying to work out exactly
what it is that's going on onstage. Where
other places we go, they don't care what's
going on and just go mental. But we appre-
ciate that. We appreciate their appreciation.
It's good.
Is that holding true? Last night you
played a gig, didn't you?
We did, yeah. Last night we were in Denver.
Fantastic.
Was it a French audience or was it a
Denver audience?
I think it was very much a Denver audience
last night. It was quite a small bar. And we
played quite an intimate gig, and we did
quite a lot of talking up at the mic, and
incorporating a little comedy act into the
gig. Yeah, it went very well
last night, funny gig.
Jamie of the Klaxons, when
you played in Toronto, I
heard that scalpers who
were selling tickets were
selling glowsticks along
with the tickets. Like you
buy a scalper ticket and you
get a glowstick!
Really? I didn't see too many
of them. I've not seen too
many of them across
America, actually.
Have you seen people sell-
ing the glowsticks outside
of the gigs?
I did, I did. I once shouted at
a man in London, and he
almost beat me up, for trying
to sell glowsticks outside of
the gig. And then I saw
another man in Chicago who
was very fond of it.
You've tried to ban glowsticks. Why? And
how hard is it to ban glowsticks? It's
pretty hard to ban a glowstick. You can
conceal it, but-
Not true. The ban could I mean, we
very well could be spared someone flashing
a mobile phone, taking a picture right in
front of your face. People enjoy them. I
think it's a fine thing. It's not disrupting the
band in any way, they're just having a
laugh.
Jamie of the Klaxons, how do people
react to glowsticks? They bring glowsticks
to the gigs because they think they
should bring a glowstick to a Klaxon gig,
don't they?
They truly do, yeah! Especially in the U.K.
they do, yeah. Not so much across Europe
and not so much in America. But in the
U.K. they're absolutely loving it, yeah.
FRESH BREATH OF MINT Spring 2008 9
 Now, how long do people last with the
actual glowsticks? There was a report
from Chicagoist that said people brought
glowsticks to the gig, and waved the
glowstick for about four songs and then
gave up. How long do you see people
using the glowsticks before they get tired?
When does the novelty wear off once they
get to the gig? How many songs in?
Oh, in the U.K. they make it all the way
through. They go home, they put them in
the freezer so they don't fade, and they
bring them back to the next gig. It keeps on
going.
Jamie of the Klaxons, you've also said,
"We encourage people to bring rave
memorabilia to gigs."
No, no, no. We did that at the first ever gig
we did for fun. And then all of a sudden it
snowballed out of control, and we've never
encouraged anybody to do anything but
come along and forget about themselves and these great historical references. For
enjoy themselves.
Jamie, what sort of rave
memorabilia did people
bring? I'm curious. You
might have got some inter-
esting stuff there! What sort
of memorabilia did you get?
You can easily call anybody Steve and they'll
respond to it. Fantastic.
Who is the original Steve? Like, who is
the first person you called Steve?
I'm not sure. I think they're still out there
looking for him. I think if they keep using
the name he might just crop up.
Has Harry Potter been to any of your
gigs?
No, but we've got word that he's a big fan.
It showed up in his monthly newsletter,
telling his fans what he's been up to this
week, what music he's listening to. And he
put our album on there! He apparently
enjoys it. There was talk of him coming to
the London gig, but if he did, we didn't see
him, which is upsetting. We'd love to meet
the boy.
It's really great that you guys slip in all
instance, you mention Caesar in one of
called the Tate Gallery. We recorded a piece
of music which we taped onto one of our
records specifically or a piece of artwork by
Donald Judd. That's still playing currently
at the Tate Gallery in London.
What other bands were asked to do that?
Were you guys pretty stoked that that
happened, that you were asked to con-
tribute something?
Oh absolutely. Yeah, Chemical Brothers,
Basement Jaxx, Long Blondes, you know,
big names, and they asked us to do it. We This is Jim Bryson, from Ottawa.
were thoroughly excited about it. Sadly, I
haven't been down there and put down my When you're out traveling the
$20 to see the piece of work yet.
landscape of Canada, alone in a
Jamie of the Klaxons you've played car with an acoustic guitar and you
gigs in London, many gigs, and one of
them was the Camden Crawl. What's the end up in a loud rock bar where
Camden Crawl all about?
It's a festival that they put on every year in everyone is talking how do you
Camden, in good old London, where they
sort of gather the best of music from around
get them to listen, Shane? How do
the world and put on the fes- you get them to listen?
tival in a small town. As
many bands play in as small a
place as possible. I think it's
going on right now. - Jim Bryson
It's like 90 gigs in about 48
hours.

Well, the first gig we ever
played in the U.K., it's very
popular there, they take a
popular brand and they
replace the wording so it
would be referring to early
'90s culture. A popular bag of
crisps in the U.K. called
Quavers, and they'd market
T-shirts and take away the Q
and replace it with an R to
make a T-shirt say Ravers. It's
actually ridiculous.
Jamie of the Klaxons, was
there a Klaxons truck at
South by Southwest? I saw
some video of a Klaxons
truck. What was that?
What's that?
It was like a big truck, like some sort of
promotional vehicle that was driving
around South By Southwest in Austin
that had, your videos playing on it . A
Klaxons truck. Do you know what I'm
your songs! You mention Caesar!
Julius Caesar
And you're originally from Stratford-On-
Avon. Is that where you're from, Jamie?
I'm from Bournemouth on the south coast.
No, the other boys are from Stratford.
S
Yeah, that sounds about o, let me get this straight. You were born a ing through your heartfelt songs are trying to
right, yeah. My friend went sensitive, talented individual. You cultivated get drunk and laid. Do you know how rare an
to three of them last night,
said she was exhausted. It's your talent with years of sacrifice and hard experience that is for them? They only have
always a lot of fun. A lot of work, doing a variety of soul-crushing day jobs, every night of the rest of their inconsiderate
people descend on Camden
and it goes wild for two days. putting up with incredible amounts of external soulless lives to do that, where as you sir, can
doubts and pressures. You've been shunned drive to Humpaduck, Wisconsin every couple
What gigs did you check
out, aside from playing and marginalized as a degenerate by society at years or so. Shame on you sir, for trying to
yourself at the Camden large. You have traveled the land at great per- enrich their pathetic, amoebic, tick-ridden, date-
Crawl? Was it hard to check
out all the gigs? How much sonal cost and undergone much hardship along rapeing lives with your music.
did you party? the way. Only to share your music with people
It's very, very difficult to see So I hope everyone has learned a little some-
all the bands when you go to who can't shut up for 30 minutes.
the Camden Crawl 'cause thing from that. And for those of you out there,
they're all very small venues. I was upset not Well, all that I have to say is, where do you get who wish to leave me a message for a future
to see the band Supergrass at Dublin Castle.
But we kind of stayed at Koko, which is a your nerve sir? Dear Shane episode, you can do so on our toll
larger venue and saw Futureheads. It was a free line 1 877 955 6565 and I'll do my best to
big night. I mean, sure, you may be the one on stage with
blow your minds.
Well thanks so much Jamie of the the sound-system and all the lights pointing at
Klaxons. I really appreciate it. you. And you may be the one advertised in all
Illustration by Shena Yoshida!

talking about here? Yeah, 'cause I said I was curious about, You're more than welcome. It's been fun.
I've heard about it, yeah, I've heard abouthave you guys met any of Shakespeare's the local papers and on posters all over town. - Shane Nelken
relatives or anything? Who's from your
it. (groans) I can't believe anybody saw that. Why should people out there care about You may be the one that several people have The Awkward Stage and CBC Radio 3's
town, Bournemouth? Who's from there? the Klaxons? Why should people care?
It sounds amazing. There's a clip of it on Have you met any historical figures or the People like excitement. We are excitement! paid a cover to see. But those poor people talk- Amateur Rocktologist
the internet, a truck driving around with descendants of historical figures?
your videos playing! And I wondered how I think Tolkien spent a bit of time in Well, thanks so much, Jamie. Keep on
they did that. It looks incredible! Bournemouth! Alex and James from Blur are rockin' in the free world and doot doola
It's really dark isn't it? Really dark! from Bournemouth. I think that might be doot doo...
about it. You know, there's not a lot going Doot doot!
Jamie of the Klaxons, who is Steve? You on down there, if you know what I mean?
call everyone Steve. Who's Steve? To hear this interview, be sure to check
Steve's everyone you meet in the street. Jamie of the Klaxons, what is a Tate out www.nardwuar.com/vs/klaxons!
Steve's the person you bump across, you Track? What is a Tate Track? Also, check out Chart Magazine,
come across everywhere, doing anything. Oh that. There's an art gallery in London www.chartattack.com!

10 Spring 2008 FRESH BREATH OF MINT www.mintrecs.com THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS www.mintrecs.com FRESH BREATH OF MINT Spring 2008 11
 IMMACULATE MACHINE
members: Brooke Gallupe (vocals/guitar),
Kathryn Calder (vocals/keyboards),
Luke Kozlowski (vocals/drums)
from: Victoria BC
Mint releases: Fables CD/LP, Les Uns Mais Pas
Les Autres CD-EP, Ones and Zeroes CD
little known facts: Lukes favourite karaoke song
is Young MCs Bust A Move, Brookes sister,
Caitlin, created all the artwork for Immaculate
THE PACK A.D.
members: Becky Black (guitar/vox), Maya Miller (drums)
Machines Mint releases
from: Vancouver BC
URLs: www.immaculatemachine.com
Mint release: Tintype CD/LP
www.myspace.com/immaculatemachine
little known facts: Beckys favourite Karaoke song is Happy Birthday,
PERFORMING AT TORONTOS Maya likes seeing people puke on TV
CANADIAN MUSIC WEEK URLs: www.thepackafterdeath.com www.myspace.com/thepackad

THURSDAY MARCH 6 PERFORMING AT CANADIAN MUSIC WEEK

@ THE HORSESHOE FRIDAY MARCH 7 @ SNEAKY DEES, 11PM
CHART MAGAZINE SHOWCASE SOUNDPROOF MAGAZINE SHOWCASE

12 Spring 2008 FRESH BREATH OF MINT www.mintrecs.com THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS www.mintrecs.com FRESH BREATH OF MINT Spring 2008 13
Carolyn Mark
Nothing Is Free
CD out now
L ike her close ally Neko Case (with whom she once traded as The Corn
Sisters), Mark is a country girl with a wild streak. Nimbly assisted by
members of Canadian folkies Po' Girl, the settings for these songs are stan-
dard acoustic guitars, mandolin and strings, but she fills them with enough
devilry and sly humour to draw you in to her bittersweet world completely.
In a wondrous voice that's half Kentucky hick, half Rocky Mountain draught,
Mark sings of blonde nymphs in lace panties, tedious wives, racy mistress-
es and knives driven chestward. UNCUT

www.carolynmark.com painting by Kelly Haigh

Mint: Where do you teach? dents. Our school feels that children can and all the teachers have a performance or
Coop: I teach at the Calgary Arts Academy, a learn best through arts immersion mean- artistic background. We divide up the cur-
public charter school in Calgary, Alberta, ing that the curriculum is drawn out of the riculum according to who want what or who
Canada. I teach grades 3, 4, and 5. Arts rather than using art to accompany is best suited for that particular subject.
textbook-type learning. We still have to fol- We can also hire artists from the communi-
Where did you start? low the Alberta Education Curriculum that ty. Tom Bagley (of Forbidden Dimension)
Earlier this century, I went back to university all schools follow, but we deliver it in a worked for a while last year helping kids in
and completed my second degree, a Bachelor unique way. grade 2 create comics.
of Education. I have been at the Arts I worked with a local author, Nancy Jo
Academy since I graduated. This is my third Who can attend? Cullen and the grade 5s wrote Italian Sonnets
year. Anybody who thinks that this is the style of about Canadian History.
education for them or their children. We
How did this all begin? have a waiting list! Have there been any approaches that did
We all know that indie rock is the world's not work?
best hobby, but it's a tough way to pay for How old are they? We made kinetic sculptures out of donated
your kid's shoes and the mortgage and gro- Kindergarten to grade 9, but my grades are stuff (i.e. trash) and my classroom looked
ceries. Especially when you live in Calgary usually 8 to 11 years old or so. and sounded like a demolition derby. We
where the inflation rate is 47 times the gave the kids hammers, and screwdrivers, and
national average. I figured that teaching Ae they all budding musical geniuses? power tools. It was like Tokyo and Godzilla.
would be a career that would let me retain We have kids who dance, sing, act, play But for two weeks.
my essential Brent-ness, and teaching school music, or might be the next Michelangelo.
is a pretty positive position. We also have lots of kids who simply learn What works the best?
Illustration by Shena Yoshida!

best through art. Imagine Degrassi meets I always like the music stuff.
Is it a private or a public school? Fame. (but throw in a little more ADHD)
The Arts Academy is a public charter school. What received the best response?
In Alberta, a charter school is a school that How do you determine what to teach? I taught a unit on patterns and relations
operates separately from the Public or We work in teams, and each team works using the 12 Bar Blues and the grade 3s
Catholic School board on the basis of how with an artist who is on staff. The staff ended up scoring 10% higher than the
that school provides the education for its stu- artists are visual, dramatic, and dance artists, provincial average on that section of the

THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS www.mintrecs.com FRESH BREATH OF MINT Spring 2008
15
Provincial Tests.
We listened to Howlin Wolf and Bo
Diddley records.
As part of a novel study, I was able to
draw a straight line from Balkan folk music
to Dick Dale and to the Black Eyed Peas.
Turntables and records are great for sci-
ence, too.
Do you bring your guitar in with you for
every class?
Last year I had a vintage Gretsch and my
Hofner Beatle bass under the desk, just in
case of emergency! We had an artist on staff
who was a great singer and guitar player, and
every chance we got wed make up a Mr.
Cooper and Mr. Andy show!
This year, one of the grade 2 teachers has
a nice Elvis suit, so look out!
I also wrote a dramatic retelling of "The
Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" for our
grade 5 performance. I played guitar and
the kids acted and sang the song.
For our Christmas concert, I wanted the
students to sing "Whats So Funny Bout
Peace, Love and Understanding" but we
ran out of time. Instead we went with the
ol chestnut "If I had a Hammer"I didnt
choose that one, but I played guitar with
them.
Do the students "know" who you are?!
Some kids figured out that they could
Google me. Im not sure if they found every-
thing, but one girl brought a picture of me
from a Huevos Rancheros article. Most of
them dont expect a teacher to have a life
outside the class. They either think its cool,
or they dont connect it to the guy who is
trying to convince them to do long division.
Ive had a few parents look me up, and
some even ask me for CDs. Its not so far off
from the character Jack Black played in
School of Rock. Sometimes its a bit like hav-
ing a double life. Mr. Cooperelementary
school teacher, and "Coop" rock and roll
guy. (Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the third
lifefather!)
Day 6 Hamilton **1/2
Had a T.C.B. afternoon in Toronto and
then went the wrong way down the 401 for
a couple of hours. I was navigating.
Full moon + low pressure system = no
brain.
Actually, I'm not sure if I should reveal this,
but I have this thing where unless I REAL-
LY concentrate, I naturally believe that since
alphabetically East comes before West, that,
when looking at the map, East should be on
the left side of the page.
Yeah. It's a bit of a problem.
We played a different place in Hamilton
this time. I was thinking of taking
Hamilton off my trap-line altogether but
Geoff thought maybe we should give it one
more shot.
And it was a cool place. There was a smok-
ing patio, which won me over and the
sound was good and people came. Started
raining like crazy, huge thunderstorms, but
there were umbrellas and the oppressive low
pressure feeling lifted.
This wicked DJ played great music in
between our sets.
THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS www.mintrecs.com
My friend Lindsay took us home to the
modern family home and made us snack
wraps and introduced us to Scamper the
Cat.
And somehow, at the end of the night,
when I was sitting outside on the front
porch, I became covered in thousands of
tiny green larvae.
Day 11 Montreal CM *** GB
****1/2
E,
Hey, I just bought a surprise pack from a
Quebec gas station and discovered that
Surprise Pack equals Old Candy.
Very disillusioned right now, however the
show last night was so filled with love
and people who got it and friends and
a million laughs that Im still too high to
give the whole world is shit notion a
second thought. I guess thats why they
dole out the good times incrementally.
DD just ate a whole role of candy tape
and now her tongues all blue and shes
foaming at the mouth. Geoff and Lil
Andy are up front railing about the stul-
tifying atmosphere of Ontario.
rock and roll.
xo
C ATING memories.
Day 15 St. Andrews-by-the-Sea
St Andrews-by-the-Sea is so pretty. Huge
tides and sunset oysters and caesars for din-
ner. Its hard to feel shitty like that. Felt like
CHAMPIONS for a couple of hours. Them
oysters are powerful. Played our drunken
sets between two drum factions. I think I
may have played drums myself during
Geoff s set before passing out on a couch in
the bar. Across Dionas lap, actually. Some
dudes wanted her to go somewhere to do
something but she put her finger to her lips,
pointed down at me and told them I was a
light sleeper and they backed respectfully
away. Light sleeper! The bar was crammed
with the two drum circle factions having a
show down and there I was snoring and
drooling in my coat in the middle of the
room.
Was chauffeured home in a big black lim-
ousine to a fifteen room sprawling maritime
mansion called Salty Towers, only Geoff and
Diona claim that we all walked. The most
troubling thing is that I left my writing
book in the imaginary car but its ACTU-
ALLY gone. It felt like a visit to the spirit
world. I dont usually get that far out but I
really really did get a ride home in a long
black limousine. Maybe this is one step past
blacking out where your brain starts CRE-
FRESH BREATH OF MINT Spring 2008 17
 Kind of spooked myself a little. Felt sym-
bolic. Like the Elvis song Long Black
Limousine where the guy in the song wants
to ride in a long black limousine and moves
to Hollywood and gets famous and eventu-
ally comes home dead in the back of a long
black limousine. As in, its a HEARSE.
Eerie.
Day 17 Halifax, NS CM *** GB ****
E,
We are trying to leave Saint John quite
unsuccessfully. Its like they
dont want us to leave!
Last night we played
in a mall and
stayed at a
pirates house.
He made us
seafood
omelets this
morning
and Kraft
Singles
were
involved!
Geoff
became
briefly pos-
sessed by the
ghost of Stan
Rodgers and I was
in full atonement mode
from the night befores
shenanigans. Heard about anyone
needing a place for November? Tonights the
big Saturday night in Halifax.
You know whats a funny gag? Referring to
it as The Future.
Please dont ever make me live in New
Brunswick but Id like to keep driving
through it looking at the pretty trees with
some good friends.
xo
cm
Day 43 (Phase 5, day 5 or Phase 6, day 1
depending how you look at it.)
E,
Just leaving Olympia. Played a pool hall last
night. Dozens rejoiced. Got here by train
and was feeling kind of shy (turns out if I
had announced myself I could have had free
beer and hung out with the cute girl who
came from Portland to see me play who was
sitting in the corner all afternoon, who I
thought was way too cool to talk to. See?
No matter how you slice it shyness doesnt
pay!) Kevin the drummer showed up and
the opening band were this tiny tiny couple
she on banjo had 1 dimple and 1 miss-
ing tooth, which is an award winning com-
bination in my books. My new captors
Benny and the Po Girls materialized fog-
like direct from Alaska right when it was
18 Spring 2008 FRESH BREATH OF MINT
time to play. The bar let us stay late when phone to book a room. I kind of thought
it was over playing pool and the jukebox we should maybe wait to see if we made it
and indoor smoking. Ah the night life aint but having fallen through the cracks from
no good life but its my life. both lack of planning and too much plan-
C ning I chose to remain mute.
PS Guemes Island rules!
Well not mute.
Day 44 (Phase 6, day 2 okay enough I was probably yapping about something.
of this, well just go by days again) Just not that.
E, The highlight of the day was stopping at a
We stayed at the sketchiest motel last night gas station somewhere near the California
in Grants Pass. (The P is silent.) This border and hearing the guy behind the till
girl who was partying in the go AHEM! a few times and some giggles.
parking lot came through I turned around and discovered that the guy
the sliding doors to see was dressed as a clown too! I made him
if she could pee in come out to the van with me, introducing
our toilet so him as my cousin Tony! (The Clown). Big
Diona made her laughs.
sell us weed!
And when D We drove and drove and drove. And those
spilled wine new mini-vans? If you open a window going
on the 100 miles an hour, it feels like your eyes
couch cush- gonna pop out your forehead. Im still deaf
ion we did in one ear from the trip. I really like air.
the Obvious Most people I travel with dont seem to
Thing and mind if its not around which tends to con-
flipped it firm my suspicions that they are aliens!
revealing how
many times We really did drive for ages. Probably the
before us the longest one Ive ever done. I even thought
Obvious Thing about quitting. I kind of snapped too. The
had been done. seatbelt was strangling me. I couldnt
Yeesh. The place stunk breathe and my skin felt hot and prickly.
so bad I was grateful for my And my ears were killing me. I found out
clown nose. We need to play a show. later that Death Valley is the lowest point in
Yours going south on the 5, North America. Matched my mood. Maybe
C it was a reaction from eating out of the buf-
fet at Terribles. Probably it was past wine
oclock and smoke-thirty, which is kind of
Day 45 scary. They girls said later that if thats my
snapping then Ive got nothing to worry
E, about which was sweet of them. I guess I
Its Halloween so Im in the van dressed as have high standards.
Booze-O the Clown in honour of the day.
(Red nose, fishnets, sparkle Converse, After Reno the road got small and dark and
hearts on my cheeks and lips). Our destina- we passed some cute spooky towns. Stopped
tion? DEATH VALLEY AT MIDNIGHT! for a night neon photo outside The Clown
What can happen? Motel. I had to. Stopped at another casino
C to pee. Nevada seems sketchy. I was pleased
to see indoor smoking but it seems to be
Ill tell you what happened: We drove for partnered for life with gambling, highlight-
like 16 hours or something, stopping only ing the addiction part under bright lights
once in Reno to eat dinner at a place called and making it not look sexy at all. I guess
Terribles. I had mentioned at breakfast (in we went through Nevada from California to
OREGON!) that my friend Lily had been get back into California, getting caught in
to an amazing opera house in Death Valley the Bermuda Triangle known as Cal-Nev-
and Ali and Awna looked it up on the now Ari. It doesnt make sense but by then we
ubiquitous laptop they had been given by were past all rational thought.
some Seattle Microsoft fans.
We got to the Armagosa Opera House and
Here it is! The Armagosa Opera House. Motel at 5am. We were the only car in the
And Hotel! lot and it was huge. Good thing we made
those reservations. There was an envelope
Ooh! Can we? Should we? we cried. on the office door for us with two keys
inside. We opened the door to the first
It is Halloween... room and it was cute. Old. But cute. No
TV. No phone. A bed with a chenille
Oh my god. Its only $45 a night! spread, an ornate gold edged mirror and a
pink tiled bathroom. I picked the first
The girls used the also ubiquitous cel room because it had an outside door but
www.mintrecs.com THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS
then everyone used it as a hallway to get to
the van. For privacy I had to lock myself in
the bathroom. And then someone usually
needed that too. Okay. Fuck it. Got out the
whiskey, weed, wine and smokes and took a
stroll with Awna and D out into the night.
Found the opera house and a few white-
washed buildings. In my memory, it seems
like the moon was bright but maybe it was
the dawn. Probably was. Ended up outside
our room on patio furniture huddled in our
coats solving the problems of the universe
and making grandiose plans. Awna, who
had disappeared for a while, returned, her
eyes twice their normal hugeness. Oh my where the noises she heard were coming
god you guys! she stammered, shaking,
looking like, well, like shed seen a ghost.
What? we said, the hairs rising on the
backs of our necks.
You HAVE to come with me to the
lobby. She said. I heard something. There
was a huge bang. It sounded like it was
coming from the kitchen.
Okay, we said.
I mean Death Valley at dawn on the Day of
the Dead. What could happen?
At least we were out of the van. And if
something happened, whatever it was
would be better than having to get back in
there again hung over tomorrow. We crept
down the hallway. Felt like there were 7
layers of carpet under our feet. Felt kind of
nice actually. Halfway down the hall we
found a square cut into the carpet. Diona
lifted one edge of it revealing a trap door of
sorts. It was just a hole so we put the carpet
back down and continued to the lobby.
The lobby was beautiful. We found all
these old newspaper clippings about the
woman who runs the opera house. Marta
Becket. Shes in her eighties and has per-
formed every weekend for the last forty
years or more. Apparently, she was a dancer
from New York and her car broke down in
Death Valley Junction right outside the
opera house and she and her travel com-
panion decided to stay and buy it. She is
also a painter and has painted a huge
mural of an adoring audience on the
walls, so even if no one comes shes
going to put on her show goddamnit!
I fell in love with her just from the pic-
tures. In a fading New York Times article
from the 80s, the interviewer asks if shes
aware that she could be viewed as an eccen-
tric. She answers that if making a space in
your life to follow your dreams and make
your art uninterrupted, industry be
damned, then colour her an eccentric! I had
found a new mentor. I mean, first the
Elvira movie and now Marta Becket. I dont
find inspiration easily these days so when I nally exhausted.
do I fall hard. We found postcards showing
the inside of the opera house and a flyer
announcing the show times and prices and
this: The content of Marta Beckets per-
THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS www.mintrecs.com
formance (whether dance, singing or mime)
may be altered at any time due to her back
injury. We also discovered, which I think is
part of the experience of coming here, (it
happened to Lily too) that we were going to
miss her final show of the season by two
days. We also found out that armagosa is
Spanish for bitter. Ha. Awna found a
spinning carousel music box and wound it
up. Felt like Stephen King had suddenly
stepped in as our guest director for the
night. Awna waited for us to finish checking
out the lobby. Shed probably done all this
already while we were outside. We asked her
from. She pointed at a white door and said,
From there. From the kitchen.
We slowly crept towards the door like it
might explode in a Ghostbusters shower of
green ectoplasm the second we touched it. I
pushed on it and realized it was painted
shut and locked. Hmm. We looked for a
second door and found it also painted and
locked shut. While we were looking for the
third door, all huddled together holding a
flashlight a man came up behind us. Whats
interesting is that he didnt scare us. I think
we were too out of it to be frightened. He
looked tired. He exuded tired. He had grey
hair that stood up like a mad professor,
worn Levis and a macram necklace. Like
an old surfer kind of.
So YOURE the partiers, he said. He had
our number.
Are we keeping you up? I asked innocent-
ly.
Oh no. he sighed.
The way he
said it
made
it seem
like he
had resigned
himself to being eter-
I was just looking for coffee. Breakfasts
between 6 and 9am and its almost 6. Just
looking for coffee.
Well Awna heard lots of noises in the
kitchen a few minutes ago. Maybe thats a
good sign! Should have some coffee for you
right away I bet! I said turning into a
hostess on acid like I do sometimes, relieved
at that perfectly good explanation for noises
in the kitchen. Breakfast is a perfectly good
motivation for noises in the kitchen. In fact
what better reason for noises in a kitchen
than breakfast right?
Kitchen? Huh he half laughed, That
things been shut down for years.
Cue the ominous music.
B-b-but the noises?
We wanted him to give us a soothing expla-
nation but he just turned and went back to
his room. Then of course my mind flashed
to the parking lot. We were the ONLY
CAR. We were in the middle of nowhere
and the only car in the lot was ours so how
did he get here? To make matters worse
Diona of course it was Diona said,
Did you see his foot? He was missing like
three toes. Looked pretty fresh too. All of a
sudden an expert on the subject.
No I was looking at his face. He seemed so
tired. I replied quietly.
Day 46
Of course we slept fine and only thing that
haunted us was morning. The desk clerk,
immune to our pleas, wouldnt let us in to
see the opera house as Ms. Becket may have
been rehearsing. (So CLOSE!) We cased
the joint but the doors were locked
and finally backtracked a bit
into Death Valley to find
breakfast.
Theres this place. Its
got food and a bar
and a sort of a
town and a post
office but its all
kind of fake and
touristy as hell.
Id heard there
were horses so I
put in my order
and went to find
them. On the way,
past the 200 room
motel, I ran into a
GOLF COURSE! All
green in the middle of
the desert. Golf below sea
level! the signs said. I
thought about all the water and
how ecologically, this wasnt just leav-
ing a footprint it was tearing the desert a
new one. On the way back I stopped for
postcards at the Ye Olde Wilde West muse-
um and the woman refused to take my
Canadian penny! Oh no we cant have
those here. Fucking bitch. I got back to the
FRESH BREATH OF MINT Spring 2008 19

restaurant and the food was decent, but
expensive. I couldnt wait to get out of
there. We drove and drove and made it to
Flagstaff, AZ well after dark. The promoter
was putting us up and he lived in a log
house up a hill and there was food waiting
for us on the counter and dogs to pet.
Day 48
I made the mistake of reading this health
book I found on the shelf at our hosts
house. The book said alcoholics have dou-
ble the suicide rate as normal people.
Made me so depressed I felt like killing
myself. (Thats my new banter! Like it?
They loved it in Albuquerque! If by loved
it you mean the sound of one guy cough-
ing, some crickets and stony silence!) Due
to some excellent booking, we had a
Saturday night off. Lucky for us the
Flagstaff promoter happened to have a sec-
ond house in Tucscon we were welcome to
stay at and Calexico was playing a free con-
cert in the park with a full mariachi band!!!
It was a great show. They had this guy on
stage that just sang and danced with his
hips and did this rhythmic tongue clicking
named Salvador who was mesmerizing.
(Like me, he seemed about ten years older
than the band so I vowed to become the Po
Girls Salvador for the rest of the tour.) Need any sage? Theres shit loads outside.
The trumpets sounded amazing. It was such Hey you wanna feel not so bad?
a great show. Im so glad we went. Met up
with my paleontologist friends, Gavin and
Destiny, and went out to The Grill after.
The Grill is a bar attached to a diner
famous for its stiff bourbons, unmanned
grand piano and unpredictable photo
booth. There seems to be a huge Gothic
contingent in Tucson these days. I find this
amusing because its mostly so hot there Maybe tomorrow a bullet will find me
and wearing black PVC everything in the
summer is hard work. Ah well, we all have
our crosses to bear.
Day 54
We played this AMAZING Wild West
20 Spring 2008 FRESH BREATH OF MINT
opera house in Pinos Altos. The town of
Pinos Altos is three buildings. Theres the
bar, the opera house and the place across the
street. The opera house was all wooden with
balconies and gaslights and a total saloony
tune piano with lights inside it.
I loved this place. Best show ever! Now
THIS is why we do all that driving around!
A lot of our pals from the hot springs ranch
came to see us. I love seeing them out.
The people putting on the show gave us an
oxygen tank backstage because of the high
altitude. (Or alcitude in my case.)
I took a few good huffs, doing my best
Frank Booth from Blue Velvet Dont you
fucking look at me! and felt great.
Day 55 Albuquerque, NM
E tified
Guess where I am? In the van! Woo! Woo!
All we do is drive back and forth across New
Mexico. Oh yeah, and eat and play shows
and drink. Lather rinse repeat. Its still
sunny. Played a cool old Wild West opera
house last night. I like it when the joint
matches my outfit!
Motrin and weed. Motrin and weed.
Yours stuck in traffic mouth breathing,
C And now its breakfast in Needles, AZ.
Day 56
Tonight nothings worse than this pain in
my heart.
Marty Robbins
E,
STILL in New Mexico. The clouds are
doing that thing where they look like a reli-
gious pamphlet. Ds driving with her finger
www.mintrecs.com THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS
Carolyn Mark & Po Girl
T his past December, my close associate
and occasional Scrabble partner Shena
Yoshida asked if I would accompany her to
was hard to get a word in, what with all of
the abusive screaming and seemingly ran-
dom patterns of fist, arm, and leg flailing,
zled when he snagged a dozen or so Mint
samplers from our merch table, demanded
that we sign them, and distributed them to
Logan's Pub in Victoria to help out with so I feigned narcolepsy and curled into the the Logan's regulars. Scott, our soundman
the Mint Records' 2007 Just in Time for fetal position until she finally went away. extrodinaire and unofficial guide to
on ice on account of a freak smash ball Xmas Party. I gladly obliged because 1) any- Victoria's wildlife, told me that The Man in
accident in the hotel parking lot. Looks real one ambitious enough to single- I noticed a man in a bicycle hel- the Bicycle Helmet was kicked out of
bad. Luckily its her bow finger. Well maybe handedly organize that many Logan's regularly, and that he probably did-
luckilys not the right word. Looks like it bands over two nights was going n't own a
hurts like fuck. Im wearing a dress I Jason & The Ch
to need all of the help she could oir Practice bike.
bought for J. Bright Eyes on the stereo. photo by Shen
get and 2) it was an excuse to get a Yoshida
Everyone else is sleeping. This could be drunk in an exciting new locale. Maybe it
Southern Alberta. This could be Africa. was the
Guess it dont really matter. Only 12 more My job seemed simple enough. excitement
hours.... Hey, you know anyone in Flagstaff The only thing I really needed of eight
or Needles we could stay with tonight? Im to do was to work the merch bands in two
hoping for a cabin on a river round dinner- table and maybe throw a few nights, or
time. Mint-related boxes in my maybe it was
C trunk. threats against
my life com-
All of the bands had made it mitted by a
Day 58 over intact by the time we car-punching
rolled in to Victoria. sociopath, but
It cannot be overestimated, the effect of an Everything I was feeling
actual marvel on a mind already unhinged was pretty festive by
by delusion. groovy the time every-
Clifford Chase until an thing was ready
irate, to go. Shena
Occasionally, Carolyn, reputations are jus- semi-homeless alco- brought me a
holic woman in a yel- met snapping pictures of steady stream of
Ford Pier low hat punched my Shena and I as we hung the last bits of tin- beer and some
car and accused me sel on the stage backdrop. At first, I thought cough syrup (I'd been fighting off the flu)
of trying to break that he was a photographer, possibly for the as a morale booster. The beer was good, but
E, her legs. It University of Victoria's Martlet or some maybe the cough syrup wasn't such a great
So, OH MY GOD!!! Yesterday we went to other fine local publication. He kept idea.By the time Carolyn Mark sauntered
the freakin GRAND CANYON!!! telling us to smile and insisted that on stage, I was wasted. I knew that I must
we looked "fabulous." I was a have been pretty out of it after I swore that
I can see why its so popular. It really is little puz- I saw Carolyn's drummer whipping his
something. snare drum with an industrial-sized length
of chain for a good song and a half.
Some little big horn sheep walked with me
for a while and I apologized to them for the I don't remember much else, but the night
American I saw poking one with a ski pole probably didn't end well. I woke up covered
to get a better picture. Felt so good to walk! in tinsel. My head felt like a cactus. But
now was no time to languish in bed; we had
Hmmm do I get the tuna melt or the salad bands to take care of. After much consulta-
bar? tion, Shena and I decided that a Lady
Illustration by Shena Yoshida!
C Marmalade's breakfast would capably feed
our charges.
For the exciting conclusion, continuation
and beginning of these tales go to carolyn- Maybe Lady Marmalade likes to make her
mark.com or mintrecs.com for more more
more!
xo CM
Jan '08
PS I heart Austin!
THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS www.mintr com FRESH BREATH OF MINT Spring 2008
21
customers cry, or maybe she just keeps a
roost of hens and an incubator next to the
kitchen. Either way, we waited an hour for
three mixed grills, a plate of tofu, and some
waffles. That gave us plenty of time to
watch Vancougar, seated nearby, sit down,
have coffee, eat breakfast, pay their tab,
leave, come back, laugh at us through the
window, and take off for Nanaimo, all
before we even placed our
orders. It's
hard to con-
clude that Young And Sexy da
a Yoshi
Lady photo by Shen
Marmalade's
servers could
have forgot-
ten about our
table, seeing
as how seven
of us sat
directly across
from the
kitchen.
It's tempting to
write swear
words all over
your table with
the Heinz and
make handmade
weapons out of
the cutlery and napkin
dispensers when you suf-
fer from poor service at
an eatery, but Minties are
a stubborn, hardy lot. We
were getting our food,
dammit, even if we had to
sit there until next year's
Ridiculously Late for Xmas
Party. We were also too weak
from starvation to put up
much of a fuss.
The Awkward Stage frontman
Shane Nelken had started utter- The Butt hena Yoshida
ing threats of arson when the
food finally arrived. He stormed
out after three bites, and left
behind two slices of toast and
some tomatoes. Shena was a little worried.
She glanced over her shoulder in between
bites of waffle. I eyed Shane's toast, asked if did get in a nice visit with Young and Sexy,
he was coming back, and slipped it into my who had decided to nest in their room for a
coat pocket for later.
Set-up went a little more smoothly on
Saturday night, probably because no crazy
lady punched my car. Still, the life of a tem-
porary Minty is fraught with peril. Nobody
had brought a drum stool for Saturday
night, and The Pack A.D. were set to play
in less than
aps
less Ch
yS
photo b
an hour.
Fearful of drummer Maya
Miller's wrath, we high-tailed it to the hotel
on a quest for a throne worthy of Zeus him-
self. We didn't procure a drum stool, but we
little while before heading over to the
venue.
Shena made several fruitless phone left to right: Megan, Becca, CC, Eden
calls.Things looked grim. As a secondary photo by Shena Yoshida
solution, I suggested that we prop Maya on
top of a pile of phone books. Shena didn't
say anything. Thankfully, Logan's
own Mihkel Kaup came to the
rescue, so nobody had to resort
to anything drastic.
The Victoria air must have been
good for me, because I felt just
swell by seven o'clock. My flu
had cleared up, and The Pack
was ready to rip, drum stool
and all. Some people gathered
around the merch table, and I
showed them some Vancougar
CDs. More people flocked
around. A nice chap even
bought a Bella record. Maybe
I'd finally found my niche.
All of those years in the
Royal Conservatory
had been worth it. I
was a merch table
champion, slinging
7"s, homemade
wristbands, one-inch
buttons and
Buttless Chapstick.
I also managed to
unload every last
Mint Records
corn-based coffee Friday, December 7 say. I look forward to seeing that celtic cross
tattooed next time, buddy!
delicious and kitschy Mexican restaurant,
where we dined on chimichangas and took
mug. Even the
rough-and-tum-
Logan's Pub, Victoria BC pictures of parrots in sombreros. Then it
Next up was The Buttless Chaps, who hog- was time to hit the &Loan Gallery, a lovely
ble Logan's reg-
ulars were
stoked about
S o now that we've made it big and signed
to Mint, touring is a piece of cake! The
hot tub limo picks us up at our individual
tied and threw us in a van back to the eight-
ies. Once I stopped struggling and let the
Vocoder do its magic it was kind of like
art gallery/live music venue now booking
bands courtesy of Ms. Amy Honey, who
their Mint recently moved to Vancouver Island, or
mansions and our personal assistants lug being reborn into my former banana-clip
samplers and what we like to call, Paradise.
our valuables into a separate vehicle where and jelly shoe-wearing self! Thanks for the
free 'zines, they and the other 'staff' ride. Did you ride, guys! The show went smoothly as expected, every-
judging by know that you're not allowed to sit in a
one played superbly again, the crowd was
the wink and thumbs-up limo hot tub sipping martinis while the Then our new lovers The Awkward Stage enthusiastic without being boorish, and
from the biker gang sitting in the corner. ferry is in transit? Well, we do now! played and it was all over (in our hearts). there was a general all-around chilled-out
Shane Nelken is one funny guy and vibe going on that we all fell gently into like
In the end, I knew that I'd lived the high Anyway, eventually we made it to he sure as hell writes a good pop a hammock on a summer day. Sigh.
life of a full-blown Minty, and left Victoria Logan's Pub, where all the song. The rest of the night
an older and wiser man. The oversized F150 party people in Victoria was spent in a gruesome AND THEN WE WENT DANCING!!
that took up two lanes in the ferry car port congregate, and the show Battle of the Wits The local hip hop/top 40 bar was packed
on the way home made a great garbage was ready to begin. First between Shane and our and probably expensive and with only an
can. up was Carolyn Mark, own Witmaster, Eden hour to go before last call we had to make a
who's saucy country Fineday. It's not over, crucial decision. TO THE GAY BAR!! A
stylings had the crowd Shane! You'll see the likescouple of local sweeties took us to the most
entranced. You could tell of us again!! fun dance party in Nanaimo on a Saturday
everyone was in love with night and we had such a good time! It was
her by the end of the set by After the show we all went especially fun to watch a dude rock the pole
the way they were swaying and back to our penthouse suites at like it needed a good polish! (A dancing
gazing dreamy-eyed like teenage the hotel and dined on lobster and pole, of course, what did you think I
boys at the Playboy Mansion. Rowr! foie gras. The ice sculpture was nice, Mint, meant?)
but don't forget the rose petals on our pil-
Then we played and it was seriously the lows should be pink, not red, ok? Geez. Well Mint, we have to say, thanks for the
absolute loudest stage sound we've ever good times, we thoroughly enjoyed our trip
heard. I'm still deaf in my left ear. It was Saturday, December 8 to the island, especially getting to know our
cool though 'cause we got to play like we fantastic labelmates, and we look forward to
were flippin' Led Zeppelin at Wembley The &Loan Gallery, more good times in 2008! (By the way, for
Stadium or something. We obviously made Nanaimo, BC next time, we prefer if our dressing room
some new fans 'cause at the end of the contains no less than 4 hot-bodied
night I got to autograph my very first
manboob! It was a career highlight, I must O n the way to the show in Nanaimo, we masseuses, alright? That poor hunk Paolo
made an all important stop at Gina's, a was run ragged! Thanks. Thanks a lot.)
THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS www.mintrecs.com FRESH BREATH OF MINT Spring 2008 23
 haven't confronted him with that.
How do you approach your subjects? You
said you are not necessarily looking for
length. How do you approach your sub-
jects? What exactly do you say to them?
Um, well, because I'm so shy, my partner
usually gives the subject a calling card. Or
lately friends of mine in the music business
introduced me to people. I don't look for
people anymore because my collection is big
and beefy enough. I do it for fun now and...
In the olden days, what were you looking
for back then?
To get laid, originally. That was the sole
purpose of casting cock: to get laid by these
gorgeous...
You love cock!
And I do love cock. I have such a good asso-
ciation with cock.
Cynthia Plaster Caster, take us through a
"plating." What happens during a "plat-
ing"? Like, there are "platers," aren't
there? Some people might know "fluffers"
but there are "platers." What is the differ-
ence between a fluffer and a plater? What
is a plater?
A plater is a person who gives someone a
blowjob. It is an English slang term. I use
added, that mold is going to set and that around a penis but it didn't hold its shape
mold will be history. So I just want the sub- enough to contain plaster. We were going to
ject to calculate how long he's going to hard try wax on Keith Moon, melting it by drap-
for and... shove it in when the time is right. ing over a lampshade with the light on, but
We're going to get what he's got, unfortu- it didn't get melted enough. We were going
nately, at the moment in time and space. to try clay on somebody but that never tran-
Were there any people that you didn't spired. But actually, algenates is the only
think would have a hard time get- mold I've ever worked with. All
ting it up, but who did have a those other art molds or
hard time getting it up? Or those wrap-around
vice versa? ones... I need some-
You learn a lot about a thing that you can
subject while they're in dip into. I think
the mold. The shy ones wrapping some-
usually have the least thing around the
trouble getting it up penis might
and are the least para- destroy the hard-
noid. But the more on.
charismatic and mouthy So, Cynthia
kind of superstars really Plaster Caster, it's
panic and lose it and freak kind of like going to
out because they're afraid the dentist then! Like
they're going to lose their penis, dentists use algenates. Isn't
that it is going to get dissolved or some- that the same thing? People going
thing. to the dentist get molds taken of their
Cynthia, what else do you do? Do you oil teeth. And you do the same thing with
the pubes. When the cock goes down... cock, don't you?
there's hair and stuff! What happens? Well, you have to make an appointment

C
that to refer to any kind of stimulation done Yeah yeah. The pubes get oiled, usually by with me. Um, because there is a time ele-
ynthia Plaster Caster... Pretty self-explanatory. What can I hard-on from what I'd heard. You see, I had
by a person on my subject, whether it is a me and the plater. Jimi Hendrix's, for exam- ment involved. And hopefully it is not as
say? She has been making moldings of rock cock for over thirty never seen a penis until that very weekend. ple, were not oiled enough and he got stuck painful.
blowjob or not. So you want to know the
And, uh....
years. I talked to her on November 27, 1997 at the Velvet Elvis Were you the first person to do this?
plating or the plaster in the mold for fifteen minutes. But he did- How do you grade cocks, Cynthia? Like
in Seattle where she was doing a spoken word performance accompa- casting process? n't mind. He seemed to how do you know it is a good looking
When you told your art teacher that you cock when you look at a cock or
Well, just the
nied by Miss Murgatroyd on accordion and Russ Forster (of 8 Track were going to be doing this, had anybody
beginning about when you
Mind zine) on keyboards. Thanks to James of Up Records for setting ever done this before?
what happens in make a mold?
up this encounter. By the way, after the interview, Cynthia did Well, um, I didn't wind up telling my art Well, the only
the sense of, like,
teacher that, but I believe that men have
remember casting some Canadian dink (the roadie for the late '60s been casting themselves with plaster or other
the plater gets the grading I do is
Toronto white boy r'n'b combo, The Mandala). I find this very subject... aroused? on capability
molding materials for years. I think the because I would
Who have been
important! Who else would have cared about these lonely Canucks' Egyptians were probably dipping their dicks
the platers over like for future
cocks indirectly helping document the real unsung history of rock 'n' in sand and water. I knew a bartender at viewers to know
the years that you
Gino's Pizza that cast his dick in algenates
roll... but, drum roll please, Cynthia Plaster Caster!? before I did. As well as an insurance sales-
have used, and that these penises
have you ever could get harder
Nardwuar: Who are you? to make a plaster cast of something hard. man I worked with. than how they are
done any plating
Cynthia Plaster Caster: I'm Cynthia P And the very weekend that Paul Revere and How do you decide who to cast? I guess usually captured.
yourself?
Caster. The "P" stands for plaster. the Raiders and the Hollies were in town, at first you thought, "Hey, I want to meet And godammit,
Um, partners
You're Cynthia Plaster Caster! Do you me and my girlfriend were looking around Mark Lindsay." But how do you decide? let's look at one
I've worked with
have any ID to that effect at all, for a way of getting ourselves singled What do you look for in a person you right now. Over
are Diane, Lexy,
Cynthia? out from the crowd. And we want to cast? Because I know there's that there is one of
Harlow, Dana,
Yes, I have a calling card, thought, why not combine saying that you can look at somebody's your famous
and lately,
right here. It's my latest. my homework assignment hand, when you look at their hand, what moldings. Which
preferably, sub-
Now, Cynthia, you are with achieving this? And, are the hints, Cynthia Plaster Caster? one is that?
ject's girlfriends
Top llustrations by Robynn Iwata! Cynthia illustration by Mitch Clem!

a key-punch operator uh, well we didn't suc- Well, first of all, I am not a size queen, so I Well son of a gun,
or wives. But
by day, but really for ceed in getting my cast, am not looking for large penises. I am only so to speak. Long
also, strangely enough
the people that don't but I did succeed in los- interested in capturing the dicks of talented, get off on Dong Jon Langford,
lately at my advanced age, I have been dou-
know... ing my virginity. creative, super-heroic people that made my the fact that he had this impression of his known as Jimi
bling up on roles.
I capture as many To Mark Lindsay? life better, that are really cool in some way penis that was just the right size for him to Hendrix in Australia. He is a singer-song-
So people do bring their own platers with
hard-ons as possible of As a matter of fact! or another. Mostly artistic people, but it fuck, so that's what he did while we pulled writer with the Mekons, the Three Johns.
them.
super heroes and cre- He was a hot one! could be a certain basketball player. one pube at a time. He is a fabulous cartoonist and artist and
I would prefer that actually, because the job
ative, talented men's penis- Yeah, "Kicks" was number Are there many non-musicians that have Hendrix fucked the mold while you were painter and...
of mixing plaster is really detailed and
es. one in charts for five weeks been plaster casted? pulling out the pubes? How would you describe that cock there,
intense, requiring lots of concentration.
You are in the molding busi- when i broken so settled him There are a few too many roadies in my col- Uh huh. Cynthia Plaster Caster? Lots of vein
Okay, so, how do you determine when
ness! instead of a Beatle or Stone as originally lection that snuck their way into my... for Have you experimented with many differ- action happening there? What is your
the cock is hard? Like how do you know
Uh, business? It's more of a hobby right planned because the hit single factor. example, the Who's roadie told me that we ent types of molds? Like you mentioned description of this actual cock, Cynthia
it is time to plate? What happens at that
now. So Mark Lindsay was not #001 then. could do Roger Daltrey if we did him first. algenates. Like, you are putting the cock Plaster Caster? What makes this a nice
point?
How did you get into the molding Oh, not cast, no. Maybe he was the second And, Roger conveniently snuck out of the in this stuff, like you are putting it down specimen?
God. Well, sometimes we don't have much
hobby? or third person that I asked if they'd pose room before the mold was set. into a bowl or something and it's a bowl, Well it is very lifelike and true to his capa-
choice about when to dip the dick because
It was the result of being a horny, unbroken for me, without knowing what I was going Have you ever been able to hit him for like, algenate, what are some of the, like bility. I would say this is about 75 percent
the algenates are this really tricky dental
virgin in the '60s that wanted to get laid to use for a mold, because my art teacher that afterwards? you used wax before? Like, what have you or 80 percent of what he is capable of. And
substance that has to be mixed very carefully
and had never seen a penis before and had a had told me to use sand and water, and I I haven't. They ascended into superstardom used? Like eeewwww! there is some fine detail and vein action spi-
and for X amount of time, like for a
homework assignment from my art teacher didn't think would be too conducive to a so I could never get to him backstage. No, I We actually tried wrapping aluminum foil ralling around here. See this big glob here? I
minute, and once the ingredients have been

24 Spring 2008 FRESH BREATH OF MINT www.mintrecs.com THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS www.mintrecs.com FRESH BREATH OF MINT Spring 2008 25
 think that's a comet. I think he probably
swirled around in the mold. So that's what
happened there. This is kind of the rough
side so I probably wouldn't exhibit that. I
always like it when a nice guy has a big dick.
What about length versus girth? Like,
what's important: length versus
girth?
For me person-
ally? I prefer
the length for
my own per-
sonal needs.
So what num-
ber is that?
What number
casting is that?
How many cast-
ings have you
done, Cynthia?
Well, this is
attempt number
39. That is what
the serial number
says. I've only got
about 42 and 3/8
cocks but I've tried
it about 58 times. I
document each
attempt with a serial
number and a descrip-
tion.
Right over there, actu-
ally, is a friend of
mine, Ronnie Barnett of The Muffs. Can
we just take a look at that one? Would
that be okay, Cynthia Plaster Caster? How
did you meet Ronnie of the punk rock 'n'
roll band from Los Angeles, The Muffs?
How did you meet Ronnie?
How did I meet Ronnie? Let's see...
How does Ronnie stack up? Let's have a
look at Ronnie. How does Ronnie stack
up?
Well Ronnie has a fabulous long dick. He is
a wonderful bass player and human being.
However, this happens sometimes with long,
curved dicks. As the mold was setting...
Don't tell me he went soft!
Well he did start to soften as the mold was
going hard. Instead of shooting back down
in straight fashion, he twisted and turned a
few times.
It's kind of like dog poo, isn't it?
Or like a doorknob. I think it's cute. I love
it when these come out that way, but the
subject isn't too thrilled.
What happened there?
Well, like I said, he was going soft and he
was, he didn't really have a plater. He wasn't
getting any indirect stimulation. He had
some pre-stimulation. I was, ahem, doubling
roles that night and....
Has anybody else looked like Ronnie's?
Did anybody else's turn out like that,
Cynthia Plaster Caster?
Yeah, Noel Redding's turned out like that.
Clint of Pop Will Eat Itself...
So he is in very good company then?
Yeah, and in fact, FR Forster has a twisted...
My latest cast.
Russ Forster of 8 Track Mind zine?
Yes.
Who is actually here with you today in
your band with Miss Murgatroyd.
Correct, known as Sir Loin.
8 Track Mind zine!
Mmm hmmm.
What happened to Ronnie's cock? I
understand it is a garden ornament
now? What is the deal with that,
Cynthia Plaster Caster?
Well, yeah, I have a copy of it in a bed
of petunias at home.
So if people were in Chicago, they
can just wander through your garden
and bump into Ronnie's cock?
If they know. If they know where to go.
Yeah. They might mistake it for a cute
little worm poking its head out
through the flowers but in fact it is a
super-talented, heroic person'
favourite part of my body. Or my
favourite part of their body.
Cynthia
Plaster
Caster, I've
always won-
dered, is
Peter Tork
bigger than
Hendrix? Is
Peter Tork
bigger than
Hendrix?
That's the
rumour that's
always been around. This is the one time
that we can get this verified, Cynthia
Plaster Caster. Well, what I got to see was
kind of pink, but... and not that erect. In
fact, not that erect at all while he was
playing piano. I really don't know but,
you know, you can't tell...
While he was playing piano! What do you
remember about doing Peter Tork? Well, I
didn't do much. I was going to
try and cast him but while
I was opening my can of
algenates I cut my
finger on one of
those old fash-
ioned keys that
you open cans
with. I almost slit
my finger in half
and missed out,
but it was a good
thing that hap-
pened because I had
not experimented with
algenates at that point. I
didn't know that you can't
just mix it like plaster, and I
found that out disasterously with Procul
Harum how not to mix algenates.
Left to right: Mary Mary of Gaye Bikers On
Acid, Bryan St. Claire of Triple Fast Action,
unidentified dick, unidentified dick, Ronnie
Barnett of The Muffs, Bart Flores of
Pigface/Wreck, Ivan of Flying Karimozov
Brothers, Jon Langford of The Mekons
So Peter Tork is not the biggest? Hendrix
is the biggest molding?
Oh, I didn't cast Peter. I was about to. He
was in the habit of walking around hotel
rooms playing piano nude. There was a
piano in the room and he was not erect
when I saw him.
How about Jello Biafra? I heard he had
the biggest helmet. The helmet part of the
cock, Jello Biafra being big. How about
Ronnie? Did Ronnie have a bigger dick
than Jimi Hendrix, Cynthia Plaster
Caster?
Mmmm. He may have been longer. You
know, the curved ones in my collection are
usually the longest, but not thicker. This is
Jimi.
Because I heard that Jello had the biggest
helmet but Ronnie had the longest dick.
No, I don't think Jello's helmet is all that
big. I think it's fairly average. Maybe Fritz
Richmond of the Jimmy Question Jug Band
had the biggest helmet.
Have you done many punks at all in the
moldings, Cynthia Plaster Caster? Have
you done any punk molds? I was wonder-
ing, punk molds versus metal molds. The
punk guys versus the metal guys!
Yuck, metal. I did attempt to do Pete
Shelley but sadly that was a mold failure. All
my fault. Again, doubling roles.
Plater and caster!
Yeah, a much better caster than a plater, I'm
afraid.
How about Ricky Fataar of the Rutles? I
heard he was the smallest.
Well, he came out the smallest but he didn't
necessarily have a small dick. He just went
completely soft. I mean, not the least bit
erect. That one you can only hang on a wall.
You can't display it sitting on a table.
How about Wayne Kramer?
Um...
Was he the smallest? Wayne Kramer,
Cynthia Plaster Caster?
I only captured his head because he and
Dennis Thompson insisted on
being done simultaneously. At
first they wanted to be
done in the same con-
tainer and then they
agreed to be...
You mean they
wanted to be cock
by cock?!
Yeah.
The brotherhood
in the MC5. All
right!
That's right. All truth
to that rumour. Wayne
lost out and Dennis really...
shone. He came at the
moment of mold-setting. So his head
is kind of like a mushroom cap.
Excellent. So you actually have the stuff...
Oh, no. That fluid is long dissolved.
Unfortunately.
And what's the deal with Hendrix's cast? I
heard Hendrix's cast broke. Hendrix's
cock broke, Cynthia Plaster Caster, and
you had to piece it back together. You
remember like that famous story about
Sid Vicious' ashes ended up all over
Heathrow Airport when his mom spilt
them when he died. Hendrix's cock ended
up in all these pieces and somebody had
to piece them all back together.
Mmm hmmm. You see, I was so anxious to
see the cast, I prematurely opened the mold
and it was still wet and about to crumble
into all these pieces so I very carefully closed
it back up and let it sit for a few days and
when I reopened it, it was in three divisions:
the shaft, the head and the balls. All I need-
ed was Elmer's glue.
So Jimi Hendrix, was he the biggest? I
know we are dwelling here on the biggest
and the smallest. So Jimi was biggest.
Who was the smallest?
You really are dwelling on the biggest, aren't
you? Who is the biggest? The biggest cast?
I really want to know who was the biggest
and the smallest, just to set the record
straight, finally.
I would say we captured the least of Wayne
Kramer and the most of.... volumetrically it
is really hard. It's like a tie between Clint
Poppy for length and Jimi Hendrix for
width, I think.
Who was that? Clint...
Clint of Pop Will Eat Itself. Also very
curved.
What is the deal with Keith Moon and
his pant leg?
Oh, when we were experimenting with wax
and he heard I needed an apron, he very
obligingly ripped off his pant leg, this really
cool flowered pair of pants, and gave me the
leg to wear around my waste.
And you're still wearing it today? And
you've never washed it?
That's true. Well, I'm not wearing it today,
but I've never washed it. It's at home
smelling up my apartment.
He got casted then?
No. That was just an attempt. Before I start-
ed taking notes, before I knew about
algenates, it was in the days when we were
using casting as an excuse to get into hotel
rooms, claiming that we didn't know how to
do it but we needed to experiment on some-
one.
So, Cynthia Plaster Caster, who is on
your Want List right now? Who is on
your Want List? Jonathan Fire Eater?
Whaaa...
I heard a rumour!
I just heard that rumour today too. I didn't
know what everybody was talking about.
Holy fuck! I went to their hotel a few
months ago with my friend who was driving
because I don't know how to drive and she
proceeded to carry on with the singer in the
bathroom and I couldn't leave. I was
trapped in their hotel room so I was having
a nice little talk with them and this big old
completely distorted story has appeared in
Details magazine, I discovered. It's not true
at all.
Dennis Rodman?
Um, Dennis, I'm kind of losing interest in
Dennis. His record wasn't very good last
year, but, oh man, I was really hot to get
him last year. I would love to get Jarvis
Cocker of Pulp if...
Jarvis Cocker's cock! Great!
Exactly.
Have you got Iggy's cock?
No, unfortunately I'm afraid I waited too
long. I'd still...
It's shrinking now, right? Do cocks shrink
as you get older, Cynthia Plaster Caster?
Have you done somebody twice, like early
mold and late mold, just to measure
them?
No, not over the years. You guys are proba-
bly too young to know. I guess
there isn't anyone here
right now who can
answer that ques-
tion for me.
Cynthia
Plaster
Caster, what
about
Rupaul?
Would that
be the ulti-
mate plaster
casting?
Rupaul would
be cool. So
would Vaginal
Cream Davis. Are
you familiar with him?
I've heard that name before.
Well, he's a fabulous great six-foot-tall black
punk rock drag queen.
And Kiss have the song "Plaster Caster"
but they haven't actually been plaster
casted! What's the deal on that?
I personally think Gene wrote the song to
make people think that he had actually been
done when in fact I was never interested in
Kiss until long after that song came out and
Evan Dando covered it. He claims that the
song was a fantasy about him being casted.
Yeah.
That's cool that you were down with the
MC5 and all these garage bands. Do you
remember the New Colony Six out of
Chicago?
Oh, yeah, but it was harder to get to the
locals because all their girlfriends lived in
town, you know.
So you didn't do the Shadows of Night or
anything like that?
I think Jim Sohns would have been a candi-
date but we lost touch with him after we
started casting.
Winding up here with Cynthia Plaster
Caster, do you really like everything phal-
lic? Do you love everything phallic?
Everything phallic? Umm...
Like what do you have at your house?
Well people for some reason give me pres-
ents, like souvenirs of long tall buildings and
long tall objects. Yeah, I guess I do have a
fondness for that shape. And I like penises. I
like lots and lots of penises sitting together
like a gorgeous long chorus line.
The Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, I under-
stand, wants to get ahold of these but you
don't want to give them to them? What's
the deal with that, because your mom
might find out, Cynthia Plaster Caster?
Oh, that's a big old fat question. A lot of
answers. The Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame...
I'm not sure but it might kind of suck, but I
think I might have to go to Cleveland
myself and find out but it just seems to have
the biggest exhibitions of the wrong people,
from what I've heard. I've heard that
Nirvana's (which I really adore) exhibition is
bigger than the Velvet Underground's, and
Frank Zappa took too long to get inducted.
They did call me and ask me if I would be
interested in...
You do have Frank Zappa's molding
back. Did you get it back?
Frank never posed for me.
He was kind of straight
and normal.
But didn't his man-
ager take some of
your plaster cast-
ings?
He withheld them
from me. He didn't
really take them
away from me. He
was keeping them in
his vault for safe-
keeping for me for a
future exhibition and I
wanted them back but he
didn't want to return them. He
believed they belonged to him. So I
had to take him to court to prove otherwise.
And you won!
And I won, talking dick on the witness
stand for two days!
And you're here today, Cynthia Plaster
Caster. But what about your mom? Lastly,
does your mom know about your mold-
ing dicks after all these years.
No, and she must never know. I can't afford
a body guard right now. I just called my
answering machine. She left a 15 minute
long psychotic message.
So she has no idea about the dicks. No
idea.
No, no, no. Well, she was reading about the
evolution of the idea in one of the many
diaries of mine that she read.
All right then, thanks very much for your
time, Cynthia Plaster Caster. We really
appreciate it. Is there anything else you
would like to add to the people out there,
you know, in listening to this interview?
Like any Canadian memories of plaster
casting? Like Zal of the Loving Spoonful
lives in Canada now. Any Canadian con-
nections?
No, I don't note any difference between the
Canadian and the American dick. Um, and
all I can say is, "Never judge a cock by its
cast." And, um...
As Ronnie is witness to!
Hee hee.
All right. Thanks very much. Keep on
rockin' in the free world. And, doot doola
doot doo...
Who who!
To see this interview, pick up Nardwuars
new Welcome to My Castle double DVD
in stores now! Also check out
www.chartattack.com

26 Spring 2008 FRESH BREATH OF MINT www.mintrecs.com THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS www.mintrecs.com FRESH BREATH OF MINT Spring 2008 27
 www.myspace.com/fanshawmusic

1) The delicate task of

creating your very
own Bella wristband
starts with your most favorite pair of
jeans. Maybe not your very most
favorite pair, let's say your most
favorite pair that you now loathe and
would like to cut into 4 million pieces.
Maybe you felt bloated and soft the
last time you wore them and you
unlovingly threw them to the floor of
your closet.

2) Now, pick them up, dust

them off. You're never going to wear
them again, so, take some sharp scis-
sors and cut the jeans into 4 million
strips that will fit nicely around one of
your wrists. This might take a fair
amount of time.

3) Take a break so you don't get

a cramp in your hand muscles. Have a
glass of chocolate soy milk. Pet your
cat. Whistle your favorite Britney
Spears song. Wave at your neighbour
who is pruning a rosebush. This is key.
Feel the love around you. Channel it
into your Bella wristband.

4) Now, find a safety pin,

or some velcro. Look for something to
keep the two ends together when it is
around your wrist. Even chewing gum
will work if you're really in a bind.

5) Sew or crazy glue bits of

material onto your jean wristband. I
suggest purple bits of material. Add a
sequin or two for extra dazzling effect.

6) Then write "bella" some-

Weathered Pines
www.myspace.com/weatheredpines
7) Lastly, put on your completed
where very visible with some kind of
paint. Practice on some paper first if
you tend to have messy writing. If you
have the kind of paint that gets puffy
when you iron it, your wristband will
be super-amazing and all of your
friends will be jealous. Be a nice friend
and show them how to make their
own Bella wristband.
wristbands and dance your hearts out
while listening to, "No One Will
Know." Go see Bella play the next time
they are near your town. And come
over to show me, Cameron or Tiffany
the wristband you have made...maybe
we can swap ideas or I can hire you to
come work for me if you are a specially
gifted wristband maker.

www.mintrecs.com THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS www.mintrecs.com FRESH BREATH OF MINT Spring 2008 29

Across:
1. Label that released Losin It!
3. Beccas favourite author
5. Milwaukee band that toured with the girls in 2007
8. One of CCs Favourite bands
9. Megans annual family concert
12. Battle of the bands that Vancougar won in 2004
13. Vancougars tour vans nickname
14. Megans favourite food
Down:
1. Eden Finedays place of birth
2. One of Vancougars favourite local bands that features
a former member of The New Town Animals
4. The name of Vancougars latest album
6. Studio where the band recorded their newest record
7. California city where Eden and Becca first met
10. Studio where the band recorded their first record
11. CC's favourite animal
Nardwuar: Hi! It's Nardwuar the Human the CiTR record library. It's a mint copy Nardwuar: I had to go and order the
Serviette and you are listening to CiTR and was actually released on a major label record specially from Europe a
FM 101.9 Vancouver, BC, Canada and in Canada on London Records in 1978. repressing of it. And it was right here in
it's time right now for the Nardwuar the The music director at CiTR wrote on the our my own back yard the CiTR
Human Serviette Radio show and who do record, "German Pseudo Punk Rock. record library. Just like you didn't know,
we have on the line right now? Who are Germany's answer to the Pistols. It's but you had to change your name to The
you? funny as hell." Pack A.D. so I thought Maya, I'd play a
Maya: I am Maya, and I play the drums in Maya: That's awesome. little bit here of The Pack from Germany,
The Pack but now The Pack A.D. who actually, I think are pretty god-damn
Nardwuar: What's interesting about The amazing and maybe you can possibly
Nardwuar: And who else is in The Pack Pack is, years later they were discovered consider them someone you could cover
A.D.? down the line because, The Pack A.D.,
Maya: That would be Becky Black who is you have been known to do a few covers,
the singer and guitar player. haven't you?
Maya: Yes. Yes we have. That would be
Nardwuar: And you guys are from someone we definitely should cover if they
Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada are don't mind or know or we'll pay them a
you not? dollar, I don't know.
Maya: Yes, we are.
Nardwuar: Who have you covered, Maya?
Nardwuar : There are some other Packs You've covered Leadbelly?
out there. And I have actually mentioned Maya: Leadbelly. Billie Holiday.
this to your previously about all the dif-
ferent Packs that are out there. Nardwuar: Blind Willie Johnson?
Maya: Yeah. Maya: Blind Willie Johnson, thanks for
reminding me of what we've covered; you're
Nardwuar: There are a lot of other Packs better at this than me! We've worked on a
out there. Aren't there? lot of other covers but they have kind of
Maya: Well, it seems to be a really popular fallen apart.
name which we didn't even really think
of when we came up with it. But there are Nardwuar: Well, I found it interesting
only two really big The Packs that we had actually, in the Province newspaper yes-
to concern ourselves with. And that was a terday, you mentioned that System of a
rap group in California and a punk band in Down, possibly was an early influence.
Germany. Or you guys might have been into the
System of a Down. Do you do System of
Nardwuar: Now, you've never actually a Down covers?
heard the punk band from Germany. I Maya: Oh no! Know what, I would have to
understand you've got a cassette of the go to a major drumming school for the next
punk band, The Pack, from Germany but 20 years. Oh no, wait, I'd just need to get a
you have not actually listened to them double kick. Point is, it would be a very dif-
yet. Is that true, you have not actually lis- ferent cover. But it would be pretty awe-
tened to them? some because I still think that they are an
Maya: I am a heel. I have not listened to by the band, The Rip Offs, from San incredible group.
that tape yet. Francisco, friends of The Mummies, from
San Francisco. And the Mummies proba- Nardwuar: Well, that made me smile,
Nardwuar: Well, we are going to solve bly influenced, well, many different when you said that you were influenced
that right now for you. I have The Pack, bands up and down the west coast. And by System of a Down, that The Pack were
from Germany all cued up here, Maya, me! Anything that The Mummies had headed in that direction, but some mem-
from The Pack A.D. Now, we should tell something to do with, I was totally into. bers left and you ended up being the
people, you did change your name, you're And so the Rip Offs are into The Pack, so band that you are now today, The Pack
now The Pack A.D.? I discovered the Pack years later. But, lit- A.D. from Vancouver, British Columbia,
Maya: Yes, we are the Pack A.D. now. tle did I know that this record of The Canada. Right now, let's listen to The
Pack had been sitting, Maya, from The Pack from Germany, 1978.
Nardwuar: You're not The Pack, but, if Pack A.D., in the CiTR record library for
you had gone into the CiTR record years. Just like you didn't know that there [Nardwuar plays a record]
library, there's been this record here, in was another band called The Pack out
the CiTR record library since 1978. The there! [Song lyrics are " What wave... what
Pack from Germany has been sitting in Maya: That is bizarre. wave... what wave...."]
THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS www.mintrecs.com FRESH BREATH OF MINT Spring 2008 31
 Nardwuar: oh, actually, no!
["What wave.. what wave what wave...."]
Nardwuar: Actually, I made a slight mis-
take, as I always do. I was actually play-
ing The Gruesomes from Montreal,
doing the theme song from the legendary
What Wave fanzine from the compila-
tion album, "Mister Garagers
Neighbourhood."
Maya: Oh What Wave!
Nardwuar: so although I played that by
mistake, it actually does tie into the
story of how you got the Pack cassette
isn't it, Maya, of The Pack A.D.?
Maya: Yes it does actually. No, that's fabu-
lous that you mistakenly played that. That's
Dave, from London, Ontario who we met
officially when we played a few shows there
this past fall. And that's his magazine.
Nardwuar: And he used to have a fanzine
called What Wave fanzine. And they put
out a compilation, so that was the
Gruesomes doing the cover of Batman,
only inserting What Wave. And now, this
is the Pack, from Germany not to be
confused with The Pack A.D. from
Vancouver
[Nardwuar plays the Pack from
Germany]
Nardwuar: So there we go Maya, from
the Pack A.D. Welcome to The Pack
from Germany with their song, "Nobody
can Tell us." And that wasn't their their
big hit, "Looking for Danger." Maybe
something you could integrate possibly
into The Pack A.D. lineup there.
Maya: I think so. We should definitely do
"Looking for Danger." Last night we were
playing at The Media Club, and Becky
found some, like, danger tape. And was
wearing it. So if we cover that song, we
should wear danger tape.
Nardwuar: You guys are kind of fascinat-
ed by the word "danger" too aren't you,
in The Pack A.D.? You guys like the
word Night Danger, don't you?
Maya: Oh yeah! Night Danger. Night
Danger is pretty awesome. That's all
because of Ontario; God bless Ontario. We
were driving through there and constantly,
in the middle of the night, there would be
these signs, every once in a while, that say,
"look out, Night Danger" with a picture of
a moose. So I just pictured this picture this
moose named Night Danger, you know,
who is marauding the countryside. That's a
song right there.
Nardwuar: What is Night Danger?
Maya: (Laughing) I think night danger is
just supposed to be just, "watch out for the
animals." But I think Night Danger is just
the, one moose.
Nardwuar: And you saw that on tour,
when you were out East and met the
32 Spring 2008 FRESH BREATH OF MINT
What Wave guys who gave you The Pack. Maya: Arrgh! Maya: Yeah, yeah, which was really great of the States they've really kind of, embraced Nardwuar: Which side is the right side?
I can't believe I had to force The Pack on him. Actually, that show was awesome, it us. He told us at the very beginning, when Maya: Well, it's complicated on both sides,
you. You had this cassette and you Nardwuar: Oh, so she sent a cassette, and was one of the best venues we've ever they were a little less known, he actually fol- but the right side would appear to be the
weren't getting to it. What's with you yet she cannot play a cassette. She has played. They treated us like gold there. You lowed the Black Keys around Ontario. North, and that is the side my relatives were
Maya? The Pack, from Germany, on cassette and come in and they make you food, like from, in Illinois.
Maya: The tape player that I have is at ourshe was saying she couldn't play it themselves, and you've got a place to stay Nardwuar: But you brought him to
band space so that we can record ourselves because she didn't have a cassette player. and you play the show. There were not so Thunder Bay Nardwuar: How did you find out about
and I have to remember to bring it home. And yet, she loves cassettes! many people were there at the show as it Maya: Well we didn't know! this?
And I haven't remembered to bring it Luke: Funny. was a Monday night, but, Chris Johnson Maya: Well one of my aunts, she lives in
home, and that's where the tape is. And Maya: You know what it is, I'll tell you drove up from Wisconsin to specifically Nardwuar: You were the bait; you got him Illinois and she spent a lot of time doing a
then you see the problem. what, we made that tape for CiTR when I meet us and tape the show. He actually runs to Thunder Bay. The Thunder Bay proper family tree. And she had informa-
still had my stereo that had a working tape a festival that is going into its second year Chamber of Commerce should give you tion, like a paragraph about every person,
Nardwuar: We have a phone caller. Caller, deck. Soon after, that tape deck broke when next year starting next year that we are play- an award. You guys in the Pack A.D. are about everyone going back to the 1500's.
are you there? I started making copies. We recorded copies ing called the Deep Blues Festival in, pretty fearless? And that is how I discovered that a couple
Luke Meat: I am! Maya, I love your band in our bandspace and made cassettes to sell, Minnesota. Maya: Pretty much. You don't have much relatives actually fought in the civil war.
and by the way, we did receive the actual to raise money, to make the cd. And in the to loose if you just try your best.
Pack the band that made you change process of making all of those dubs, I man- Nardwuar: So he runs it? That's amazing. Nardwuar: Who is the Man Wolf?
your name aged to finally break my tape player. I thought it was some Uber Fan, but it's Nardwuar: Well, there were some photos Maya: The Man Wolf actually is a comic
Maya: Oh you did? the actual guy who running the festival floating around on the internet of you that we saw in the States somewhere.
Luke: Based Boys. Yeah. Featuring the sin- Nardwuar: Ok, I believe you. Luke, how and he put up all of those clips of you. guys on the Mint Records balcony.
gle, "In my Car" and the smash hit, "I'm a did the Pack do in Shindig battle of the That's great because there's tons and tons Maya: Well I'm not sure, but there Nardwuar: Would that
Shinin'" and "Vans." Awesome. bands? and I was wondering, like, who the were some photos. be a good song to
Luke: Well, I believe they didn't get the Uber Fan is. And the Deep Blues Fest represent The Pack
curse of Shindig by winning. Meaning, the sounds very interesting, they have A.D.? Which song
curse that has happened in the past couple some interesting acts that have played would accurately repre-
of years is that the bands that come in num- there over the year and I love the sent The Pack A.D.
ber one, who win, don't go on to do as word interesting because The Pack are from Vancouver, British
much as the bands that come in 2nd or 3rd. very interesting. We have the Pack Columbia, Canada.
from Vancouver, The Pack Which song would go up
Nardwuar: Well, I mean if you don't A.D., not The Pack from against the heavyweights, The
count being on David Letterman like 3 Germany. And rap pack is Pack from Germany and The
or 4 times or Conan OBrien show 3 or 4 from where? Pack from Sacramento?
times or playing with Nick Cave. Maya: Well, I think they are Maya: Oh, man, ok, well, how
Luke: Were the New Pornographers a from Sacramento. I know they about "Gold Rush."
Shindig band? are from California.
Nardwuar: Which track is that, oh it's #1.
Nardwuar: No, I'm talking about Neko Nardwuar: Here is The Pack You're not beating around the bush.
Case Maow, they won Shindig! from Sacramento, not to dis- What about "All Damn Day Long."
Luke: Well. criminate against any Packs on Maya: Let's do that one too.
the Nardwuar the Human Serviette
Nardwuar: Well thank you very much Show, with their tune, Nardwuar: Is that a good one-two punch
Luke. And doot doola doot doo "Gimme Racks" by The then? It's like take that German Pack,
Luke: Baa hhhhhh!! Pack! take that Sacramento actually, don't
get mad at the German Pack.
Nardwuar: So Night Danger are those [Nardwuar plays the Maya: No no, because I'm not mad at the
signs that you see on the road when you Sacramento Pack] German Pack and really I'm not mad at the
are on tour. But, what are the pictures on American Pack either. I think there's room
Nardwuar: Luke, let's clear this up for a those signs, I understand that they [Lyrics are "I'm in the club, I'm baked up for all of us and, can't we just all get along?
second, the band I played is The Pack change as you go from province to in the back" BEEP! BEEP! ] Nardwuar: There's the Mint Records
from Germany 1978, and there is another province? building downtown and they have a very Nardwuar: As Luke pointed out, maybe
band. The German punk band wasn't Maya: I've only really ever noticed the Nardwuar: That sucks, they censored all antiquated fire escape. you could cover one of American Pack's
causing The Pack A.D. trouble was it, Moose I might have been sleeping during the good words out. Back to The Deep Maya: Yes, which actually terrifies me more songs like, "I'm Shinin'" or "Gimme
Maya? the other signs. Blues Festival, who else is going to be than most. But after numerous drinks, the Racks" or "Booty Bounce Bopper" but
Maya: No no no no, I don't think we'd ever playing that? Who are you looking for- fire escape is not so scary. Especially 14 that's going to be kind of hard for you to
have a problem with them. Nardwuar: It goes from a moose to a wards to playing with? floors up. learn those songs because all of the lyrics
deer. It kind of goes back and forth. are all bleeped out. They're really going
Nardwuar: It was the American Pack who Maya: Yeah, whenever I was driving it seems Maya: Well it's basically a who's who of the Nardwuar: And you're not afraid to lie for it, aren't they?
was causing trouble? like the moose was always there. You're Punk Blues down in the USA. Remember down on the fire escape. Upside down!! Maya: There is a song called "Booty Bounce
Maya: We had our MySpace deleted, like, 3 right, there are other ones. I should have Immortal Lee County Killers, well Chet Maya: I'm going to give that kudos to Bopper?" I love it!
or 4 times before we changed the name so taken better note. But then there would be came up with a new band and they are Becky.
that they stopped deleting us and contacted several animals named Night Danger and called Silver Lion's 20/20 and they are awe- Nardwuar: Why should people care about
MySpace and had them promise that they that wouldn't be quite the same thing. some. They are playing. Left Lane Cruiser, Nardwuar: You wouldn't go upside down The Pack A.D. from Vancouver?
would leave us alone. Black Diamond Heavies those are two on the fire escape though? Maya: Why should people care? Because
Nardwuar: And Maya from The Pack bands who are signed to Alive Records. Maya: No, no. Becky is a little more fearless we're just doing what we do and we're really
Nardwuar: And, now, Luke, the Pack A.D., you played the Apollo bar in with the fire escapes than I. Although I did having a great time. We like playing the
Illustration by Becky Black!
A.D. participated in the CiTR Shindig, Thunder bay? Nardwuar: That must feel really cool stay out there the entire time, so props to music that we play and think that people
battle of the Bands. Did they not? Maya: Yes. when the actual guy who is putting on me. maybe get it.
Luke: Yes they did. the festival drives up, films every song
Nardwuar: What was that show like, you do and puts it up on YouTube. You Nardwuar: Your relatives though, aren't Nardwuar: Well, great! Thank you very
Nardwuar: But, they did not win. Did because it seems like an Uber Fan, must have thought it was pretty cool. they fearless; they fought in the Civil War much Maya from The Pack A.D., keep on
they? CCJohnson22463 has uploaded almost Maya: It was a really cool thing that he did on the wrong side? rocking in the free world and doot doola
Luke: They were the only band that sent us your entire set from your Thunder Bay that. And the whole response that we've Maya: No no no no, they fought on the doot doot
a cassette. Apollo Bar set onto YouTube. gotten from the Punk Blues community in right side. Let's clear this up right now. Maya: Doot doo.
www.mintrecs.com THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS www.mintrecs.com FRESH BREATH OF MINT Spring 2008 33
 T
he Biltmore Cabaret is a new bar in Vancouver, British
Columbia, Canada. It opened with a show by the Choir
Practice and the Buttless Chaps on December 10, 2007.
The bar is in the basement of what once was called the Biltmore
hotel its pink neon sign could be seen from most places in
Vancouver. The Biltmore is now a Howard Johnson and is
owned by lazy people. Hopefully one day they will sell the hotel
and it will relive its glory days. From what I gather the hotel was
built in the 30s and its basement bar was called Pub 12,
because it is on 12th Avenue. It may have at some point also
been the home of a jazz club called the Glass Slipper. Many
people in Vancouver (probably falsely) believe that the Beatles
stayed in the hotel when they played at Thunderbird Stadium in
vedahille.com
1964. The Biltmore Cabaret has a legal capacity of 352, lovely
red velvet booths, a very good sound system and wonderful
staff. One day we will have our own zine called Filth. There is
also a juke box which will have a Red Cat Records section in it,
as well as a Luke Meat/CiTR mix CD or 2. And there are mir-
rors, chandeliers and pin ball machines. Hopefully a photo
booth soon too.
I own a bar in Calgary called Broken City and I started a festival
there called Sled Island. I wanted to open a venue in Vancouver
because I am foolish and I have not yet learned that live music is
a difficult business. Also I really like music.
Zak Pashak
The Biltmore Cabaret
395 Kingsway, Vancouver, BC
www.biltmorecabaret.com
 F
or all of its bad reputation (think air pollution, cold win-
ters, and struggling public transit), Prince George is actu-
ally a pretty cool place. Just slightly over a year ago, a
GVRD transplant and !Earshot charts editor, Bryndis
Ogmundson, combined her love of the burgeoning PG music
scene and her desire to avoid working for the man, and
opened Meow Records. Sporting a downtown basement loca-
tion, Bryndis enlisted a Meow Army to help her put her store
together and get it off the ground. In its first year, not only has
Meow Records thrived, it has shown itself as a promoter (Can
anyone say private Chad VanGaalen garden party five times
fast?), a record label (2007: Hey Everyone Broken Horse;
2008: Leigh Oatmeal title tba), a gallery/supporter of local
crafters, and the producer of a Girls of Meow Records limit-
ed edition calendar, the store has become a hub for anyone look-
ing for anything from a glistening Elvis vinyl to the new
Immaculate Machine (Mint). 2008 will be an exciting year for
Meow as we are preparing plans for more events to showcase the
awesomeness of the local music scene and get cracking on the
2009 Girls of Meow Records calendar (horror themed!).
Keep tabs on Meow Records at www.meowrecords.ca
100-300 Brunswick Street
Prince George, BC
V2L 2B5
53 53' N, 122 41' W
phone 250-564-MEOW (6369)
toll free 1-866-964-MEOW (6369) Bryndis and Meow employees throwing
down the MEOW gang symbol

Bryndis
snuggling
with the vinyl

Chad VanGaalen
sporting his
Meow Army shirt

36 Spring 2008 FRESH BREATH OF MINT www.mintrecs.com THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS www.mintrecs.com FRESH BREATH OF MINT Spring 2008 37
 BIRDMAN SOUND FRED'S RECORDS
MEGATUNES 593-B BANK ST, OTTAWA ON 198 DUCKWORTH ST, ST. JOHN'S NF
10355 WHYTE AVE, EDMONTON AB birdmansound.com freds.nf.ca
megatunes.com
MEOW RECORDS
100-300 BRUNSWICK ST, PRINCE GEORGE BC
www.meowrecords.ca
CD WAREHOUSE
BLACKBYRD MYOOZIK 1717 ST. LAURENT BLVD, OTTAWA ON
10442 82TH AVE, EDMONTON AB cdwarehouse.ca
blackbyrd.ca

COMPACT MUSIC
LISTEN RECORDS 190 BANK ST, OTTAWA ON
10441 124TH ST, EDMONTON AB VINYL DINER compactmusic.ca
listenrecords.net 628 BROADWAY AVE, SASKATOON SK CHEAP THRILLS
2044 METCALFE, 2ND FL, MONTREAL QC
COMPACT MUSIC cheapthrills.ca
VINYL EXCHANGE 785 1/2 BANK ST, OTTAWA ON
128 2ND AVE N, SASKATOON SK compactmusic.ca
thevinylexchange.com
FASCINATING RHYTHM
51 COMMERCIAL ST, NANAMO BC END HITS SILLONS
407 DALHOUSIE ST, OTTAWA ON 1149 AVENUE CARTIER, QUEBEC CITY QC
endhits.ca sillons.com
BACKSTREET RECORDS
EARGASM 384 QUEEN ST, FREDERICTON NB
823 QUEEN ST E, SAULT STE MARIE ON myspace.com/backstreetfredericton
myspace.com/eargasmatron

ROTATE THIS
620 QUEEN ST W, TORONTO ON
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DITCH RECORDS SOUNDSCAPES

572 COLLEGE ST, TORONTO ON
635 JOHNSON ST, VICTORIA BC
myspace.com/soundscapesmusic BACKSTREET RECORDS
myspace.com/ditchrecords 124 GERMAIN ST, SAINT JOHN NB
SLOTH RECORDS
1508 4TH ST SW, CALGARY AB
myspace.com/slothrecords X-RAY RECORDS INTO THE MUSIC
2323 11TH AVE, REGINA SK 245 MCDERMOT AVE B, WINNIPEG MB
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MELODIYA RECORDS
2523A 17 AVE SW, CALGARY AB
TH
MUSIC TRADER
ZULU RECORDS melodiyarecords.com 97 OSBORNE ST, WINNIPEG MB
1972 WEST 4TH AVE, VANCOUVER BC musictrader.ca
zulurecords.com
MEGATUNES
932 17TH AVE SW, CALGARY AB
RED CAT RECORDS megatunes.com
4307 MAIN ST, VANCOUVER BC DR. DISC
redcat.ca 20 WILSON ST, HAMILTON ON

SCRATCH RECORDS
726 RICHARDS ST, VANCOUVER BC
scratchrecords.com

ENCORE
HIGHLIFE RECORDS 54 QUEEN ST S, KITCHENER ON
1317 COMMERCIAL DR, VANCOUVER BC encorerecords.ca GROOVES
353 CLARENCE ST, LONDON ON
myspace.com/groovesrecords
ORANGE MONKEY
5 PRINCESS ST W, WATERLOO ON
myspace.com/orangemonkeymusic

38 Spring 2008 FRESH BREATH OF MINT www.mintrecs.com THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS www.mintrecs.com FRESH BREATH OF MINT Spring 2008 39
 BULL MOOSE
LEWISTON MALL, LEWISTON ME
bullmoose.com

NEWBURY COMICS
1 HARRISON BLVD, AVON MA
EVERYDAY MUSIC BULL MOOSE newburycomics.com
MAINE SQUARE MALL, BANGOR ME
115 E. MAGNOLIA STREET, BELLINGHAM WA
EASY STREET RECORDS bullmoose.com
everydaymusic.com
20 W. MERCER STREET, SEATTLE WA
NEWBURY COMICS
easystreetonline.com BULL MOOSE 1 WASHINGTON MALL, BOSTON MA
ELM PLAZA, WATERVILLE ME newburycomics.com
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EASY STREET RECORDS
4559 CALIFORNIA AVE SW, SEATTLE WA NEWBURY COMICS
easystreetonline.com 332 NEWBURY ST, BOSTON MA
newburycomics.com

EVERYDAY MUSIC BULL MOOSE

112 BROADWAY EAST, SEATTLE WA 151 MAINE ST, BRUNSWICK ME NEWBURY COMICS
everydaymusic.com bullmoose.com 400 FRANKLIN ST, BRAINTREE MA
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BULL MOOSE NEWBURY COMICS

RAINY DAY RECORDS CENTER FOR SHOPPING, SANFORD ME
bullmoose.com 112 BURLINGTON MALL RD, BURLINGTON MA
301 5TH AVENUE SE, OLYMPIA WA newburycomics.com
users.zhonka.net/rainyday/index.html EVERYDAY MUSIC DOWNTOWN
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EVERYDAY MUSIC BEAVERTON BULL MOOSE
CD WORLD 3290 SW CEDAR HILLS BOUILEVARD, BEAVERTON OR 151 MIDDLE ST, PORTLAND ME
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HOUSE OF RECORDS 456 PAYNE RD, SCARBOROUGH ME
258 EAST 13TH AVENUE, EUGENE OR bullmoose.com
NEWBURY COMICS
101 INDEPENDENCE MALL WAY, KINGSTON MA
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AMOEBA BERKELEY RIMINAL RECORDS (now in its 16th year) has become an newburycomics.com
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AQUARIUS RECORDS 130 NEEDHAM ST, NEWTON MA
BULL MOOSE NEWBURY COMICS newburycomics.com

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1055 VALENCIA STREET, SAN FRANCISCO CA
ome check out the park ave cds experience of shopping, brows- 82-86 CONGRESS ST, PORTSMOUTH NH
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AMOEBA SAN FRANCISCO not only do we carry music, like new & used cds, lps, and dvds but 40 CUMBERLAND AVE, RTE 1, N ATTLEBORO MA
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amoeba.com we also carry books, toys & collectibles, T-shirts, zines and a bunch 356-366 S BROADWAY, SALEM NH
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Corrine Dr, Orlando, FL 32803 (407) 447-7275 331 STATE RD, N DARTMOUTH MA
NEWBURY COMICS NEWBURY COMICS newburycomics.com
AMOEBA LOS ANGELES 777 S WILLOW PLAZA, MANCHESTER NH 104 BUCKLAND HILLS DR, MANCHESTER CT

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40 Spring 2008 FRESH BREATH OF MINT www.mintrecs.com THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS www.mintrecs.com FRESH BREATH OF MINT Spring 2008
41
 A Mint Records Discography
Vancougar Canadian Tuxedo MRL114 LP 08-Jul-08 various artists It's a Team Mint Xmas Vol. 1 MRS046 7" 05-Dec-00
Vancougar Canadian Tuxedo MRD114 CD 08-Jul-08 New Town Animals New Town Animals MRS045 7" 05-Dec-00
The Awkward Stage Slimming Mirrors, Flattering Lights MRD118 CD 10-Jun-08 Corn Sisters The Other Women MRD042 CD 24-Oct-00
Young And Sexy The Arc MRD116 CD 13-May-08 New Pornographers Mass Romantic MRD043 CD 17-Oct-00 H
Young And Sexy The Arc MRL116 LP 13-May-08 New Pornographers Mass Romantic MRL043 LP 17-Oct-00 H
The Buttless Chaps CBC Radio 3 Sessions MRD117 digital 01-Apr-08 Riff Randells Who Says Girls Can't Rock MRS044 7" 24-Sep-00
Bella No One Will Know MRL108 LP 12-Feb-08 Huevos Rancheros Muerte Del Toro MRD040 CD 02-May-00
Vancougar Obvious b/w Distance MRS115 7" 12-Feb-08 Huevos Rancheros Muerte Del Toro MRL040 LP 02-May-00
The Pack A.D. Tintype MRL111 LP 21-Jan-08 I Am Spoonbender Teletwin MRD041 CD 11-Apr-00
The Pack A.D. Tintype MRD111 CD 21-Jan-08 various artists Vancouver Special MRD038 CD 04-Apr-00
The Evaporators Gassy Jack and Other Tales MRD110 CD 04-Dec-07 Carolyn Mark Party Girl MRD037 CD 04-Apr-00
The Evaporators Gassy Jack and Other Tales MRL110 LP 04-Dec-07 Riff Randells Riff Randells MRS039 7" 14-Mar-00
Nardwuar Welcome to My Castle MRD109 DVD 23-Oct-07 Neko Case Furnace Room Lullaby MRD033 CD 22-Feb-00 E
various artists Do the Mint Twist! MRD112 CD 01-Oct-07 O The Smugglers Rosie MRD036 CD 01-Feb-00 F
Bella No One Will Know MRD108 CD 18-Sep-07 I Am Spoonbender Sender/Receiver MRD035 CD 01-Sep-99
Carolyn Mark Nothing Is Free MRD107 CD 03-Jul-07 Huevos Rancheros The Wedge + 1 MRS034 7" 14-Jul-99
Immaculate Machine Fables MRD103 CD 12-Jun-07 The Smugglers Growing Up Smuggler MRD032 CD 15-Oct-98 G
Immaculate Machine Fables MRL103 LP 12-Jun-07 The Smugglers Growing Up Smuggler mrl032 LP 15-Oct-98 G
Young and Sexy / The Awkward Stage split 7" MRS106 7" 15-May-07 Duotang The Cons and the Pros MRD031 CD 20-May-98
Nick Krgovich One Woman Show 4-song 7" MRS105 7" 15-May-07 The Evaporators I Gotta Rash MRL030 LP 07-Apr-98
The Choir Practice The Choir Practice MRD104 CD 15-May-07 The Smugglers Buddy Holly Convention MRD028 CDEP 31-Oct-97 F
various artists Mint Records @ SXSW 2007! MRD102 CD 06-Feb-07 O The Smugglers Buddy Holly Convention MRS028 7" 31-Oct-97 F
Immaculate Machine Les Uns Mais Pas Les Autres MRD099 CD 03-Oct-06 Neko Case The Virginian MRD027 CD 15-Jul-97 E
various artists A Mint Harvest Fall 2006 sampler MRD101 CD 03-Oct-06 O Pansy Division Manada MRS026 7" 02-Apr-97
various artists Mint Roadshow 4-song 7" MRS097 7" 03-Oct-06 cub Betti-Cola Japanese MRD029 CD 11-Mar-97 D
various artists CBC Radio 3 Presents: The Mint Sessions MRD098 CD 03-Oct-06 O various artists Team Mint MRD025 CD 28-Oct-96
The Awkward Stage Heaven Is For Easy Girls MRD096 CD 10-Oct-06 Huevos Rancheros Get Outta Dodge MRD024 CD 30-Sep-96
Nardwuar vs. Bev Davies A 2007 Punk Rock Calendar MRC095 calendar 12-Sep-06 Duotang Smash the Ships and Raise the... MRD023 CD 29-Aug-96
various artists Fresh Breath of Mint: A 2006 Update! MRD094 CD 14-Mar-06 O cub Box of Hair MRD021 CD 16-Jul-96
Neko Case Fox Confessor Brings the Flood MRD089 CD 07-Mar-06 P cub Box of Hair MRL021 LP 16-Jul-96
Nardwuar Doot Doola Doot Doo MRD093 DVD 28-Feb-06 K Duotang The Message MRS022 7" 16-Jul-96
The Buttless Chaps Where Night Holds Light MRD091 CD 21-Feb-06 The Mr T Experience Love is Dead MRD017 CD 02-Jul-96 B
Young and Sexy Panic When You Find It MRD090 CD 14-Feb-06 The Mr T Experience Love is Dead MRL017 LP 02-Jul-96 B
P:ano Ghost Pirates Without Heads MRD086 CDEP 15-Nov-05 Maow The Unforgiving Sounds of Maow MRD019 CD 27-May-96
various artists Fresh Breath of Mint MRD088 CD 11-Oct-05 O Groovie Ghoulies World Contact Day MRD020 CD 06-May-96 B
Immaculate Machine Ones and Zeros MRD087 CD 06-Sep-05 Groovie Ghoulies World Contact Day MRL020 LP 06-May-96
New Pornographers Twin Cinema MRD085 CD 23-Aug-05 H Pansy Division Wish I'd Taken Pictures MRD018 CD 09-Feb-96 B
New Pornographers Twin Cinema MRL085 LP 23-Aug-05 H Pansy Division Wish I'd Taken Pictures MRL018 LP 09-Feb-96 B
Carolyn Mark Just Married: Album of Duets MRD081 CD 07-Jun-05 Pansy Division Wish I'd Taken Pictures MRC018 CS 09-Feb-96 B
Duplex! Ablum by Duplex! MRD083 CD 03-May-05 The Smugglers Selling the Sizzle MRD016 CD 09-Feb-96 B
Novillero Aim Right for the Holes in Their Lives MRD084 CD 03-May-05 The Smugglers Selling the Sizzle MRL016 LP 09-Feb-96 B
P:ano Brigadoon MRD082 CD 05-Apr-05 N The Smugglers/Hi-Fives Summer Games MRD015 CD EP 16-Dec-95 B
The Sadies J'ai esay de ne pas + 1 MRS071 7" 05-Apr-05 The Smugglers/Hi-Fives Summer Games MRS015 7" 16-Dec-95 B

Neko Case The Tigers Have Spoken MRD077 CD 09-Nov-04 M gob Too Late No Friends MRD010 CD 05-Sep-95 C
various artists It's a Team Mint Xmas Vol. 2 MRD080 CD 02-Nov-04 cub/Potatomen The Day I Said Goodbye MRD008 CD EP 01-Sep-95 B
John Guliak 7 Stories and 13 Songs MRD079 CD 26-Oct-04 cub/Potatomen The Day I Said Goodbye MRS013 7" 01-Sep-95 B
Pansy Division/Skinjobs Dirty Queers Don't Come Cheap MRS074 7" 06-Jul-04 The Mr T Experience Alternative Is Here to Stay! MRD009 CD EP 01-Sep-95 B
Atomic 7 En Hillbilly Caliente MRD078 CD 29-Jun-04 The Mr T Experience Alternative Is Here to Stay! MRS014 7" 01-Sep-95 B
The Organ Grab That Gun MRD076 CD 24-May-04 L Huevos Rancheros Dig In! MRD007 CD 27-May-95
The Organ Grab That Gun MRL076 LP 24-May-04 L The Stand GT The Cracklefan MRS012 7" 27-May-95
Carolyn Mark The Pros and Cons of Collaboration MRD075 CD 04-May-04 Pluto Cool Way to Feel MRD006 CD 11-Apr-95 A
The Smugglers Mutiny in Stereo MRD074 CD 09-Mar-04 F cub Come Out Come Out MRD005 CD 15-Jan-95
The Evaporators Ripple Rock MRD072 CD 20-Jan-04 K cub Come Out Come Out MRS011 3x7" 15-Jan-95
Young and Sexy Life Through One Speaker MRD070 CD 07-Oct-03 Lou Barlow Another Collection of Home Rec.... MRD004 CD 12-Oct-94
Young and Sexy Life Through One Speaker MRL070 LP 07-Oct-03 Lou Barlow Another Collection of Home Rec.... MRD004 2x7" 12-Oct-94
The Buttless Chaps Love This Time MRD068 CD 16-Sep-03 Pluto Death Star b/w Million & Two MRS008 7" 26-May-94
The Gay You Know the Rules MRD069 CD 16-Sep-03 cub Volcano MRS009 7" 03-May-94
The Gay You Know the Rules MRL069 LP 16-Sep-03 The Smugglers Party Party Party Pooper! MRS007 7" 11-Feb-94
Ramblin Ambassadors Avanti MRD067 CD 19-Aug-03 kid champion kid champion MRS006 7" 31-Jan-94
New Pornographers Electric Version MRD066 CD 06-May-03 H cub Betti-Cola MRD002 CD 01-Oct-93
New Pornographers Electric Version MRL066 LP 06-May-03 H cub Betti-Cola MRS005 2x7" 01-Oct-93
Atomic 7 Gowns by Edith Head MRD065 CD 07-Oct-02 various artists The Mint Is Still a Terrible Thing... MRD003 CDEP 01-Sep-93
The Gay Fishin Jim + 2 MRS064 7" 07-Oct-02 cub Hot Dog Day MRS004 7" 14-May-93
Neko Case Blacklisted MRD060 CD 20-Aug-02 J cub Pep MRS003 7" 16-Oct-92
Operation Makeout Hang Loose MRD063 CD 07-Aug-02 Tankhog The Freight Train MRS002 7" 11-Jul-92
Carolyn Mark Terrible Hostess MRD061 CD 01-Jul-02 Windwalker Rainstick MRD001 CD 26-Mar-92
John Guliak The Black Monk MRD062 CD 25-Jun-02 Windwalker Rainstick MRC001 CS 26-Mar-92
Mark Kleiner Love To Night MRD055 CD 05-Mar-02 Windwalker/Tankhog The Mint Is a Terrible Thing to Taste MRS001 7" 31-Aug-91
Volumizer Gaga for Gigi MRD057 CD 05-Mar-02
Young and Sexy Stand Up for your Mother MRD058 CD 05-Mar-02
Hanson Brothers My Game MRD059 CD 26-Feb-02 I NOTES:
Hanson Brothers My Game MRL059 LP 26-Feb-02 I J: licensed to Bloodshot (USA), Matador (UK)
A: licensed to Virgin for the world
various artists A Tribute to Nashville MRD054 CD 05-Feb-02
B: a Mint/Lookout! co-release K: on Alternative Tentacles outside of Canada
The Tennessee Twin Free to Do What? MRD056 CD 05-Feb-02
C: deleted L: a Mint/604 co-release; licensed to
The Sadies Cork & Monkey + 2 MRS047 7" 04-Dec-01
various artists Team Mint Vol. II MRD053 CD 28-Aug-01 D: licensed to LDK (Japan) Too Pure (Europe), Talitres (France),
Operation Makeout First Base MRD052 CDEP 28-Aug-01 Popfrenzy (Australia)
E: licensed to Bloodshot (USA)
Duotang The Bright Side MRD051 CD 05-Jun-01 M: licensed to Anti- outside of Canada
F: on Lookout! outside of Canada
New Town Animals Is Your Radio Active MRD050 CD 05-Jun-01 N: on Aquarela (Spain)
G: on Mint in Canada only
New Town Animals Is Your Radio Active MRL050 LP 05-Jun-01 O: promotional only, not for sale
The Tennessee Twin These Thoughts Are Occupied + 1 MRS049 7" 17-Apr-01 H: licensed to Matador outside of Canada
P: on Anti- outside of Canada
The Evaporators Honk the Horn MRS048 7" 03-Apr-01 I: on Mint in Canada and the USA only

MINT RECORDS INC. HEADQUARTERS MINT RECORDS EAST YVETTE RAY

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EMAIL info@mintrecs.com URL www.mintrecs.com EMAIL yvette@mintrecs.com
44 Spring 2008 FRESH BREATH OF MINT www.mintrecs.com THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS www.mintrecs.com FRESH BREATH OF MINT Spring 2008 45
 The Burning Poor White Noize
by Guy Russell
O K... I admit it has been a really long
time since I wrote anything in The
Burial Ground and I have absolutely no
excuses for my actions. Honestly I have
my days when I decide to sit down and
write about something and then I just
draw a blank...... Not today. The long
awaited DVD release of The Burning is
finally out in all its gory glory, and it
looks fucking awesome. The movie itself
had almost become somewhat of an
urban legend, because it had been out of
circulation for so long, and the VHS
prints that were available had been cut so
bad that it was almost unwatchable. Now
here is the film completely uncut and it is
definitely not for the squeamish.
Most people like me would probably
argue that the cover for The Burning
might not hit home like the original one
did, but at the same time its not all that
bad, the main point being that the film
has finally seen the light of day (again).
Asides from the Romero zombie films of
the late 70s to mid 80s, Tom Savini had
four of the most important and influen-
tial slasher films period: Friday the 13th,
Maniac, The Prowler, and The Burning.
All of these films have that certain some-
thing in them and that happens to be
Savini.
So not only does The Burning mark the
Weinsteins first film, it also stars some
pretty unknown people at the time some
of which are Jason Alexander (Seinfeld),
Holly Hunter (Raising Arizona), and
Fisher Stevens (Short Circuit, My Science
Project). To me the release of The Burning
gives me hope that a few other unreleased
titles will finally get recognized and soon
see the light of day as well, I also hope
that people now a days that are looking
for a film thats different from a lot of the
stuff that is coming out now, the so called
torture porn then they should really
give The Burning a try, and get taken
back to a time when films were fun to
make. It has been more than a decade
since this has been legitimately available,
besides on a PAL format disc that was
released By VIPCO in the UK, and I
stress the fact that I am happier than a
pig in shit, so I think I will go watch it
again.
Guy Russell
Guy Russell writes and manages 'Burial
Ground' at happybatscinema.com
46 Spring 2008 FRESH BREATH OF MINT
by Juan Farmer
P oor White Noise has taken a hit late-
ly. The Happy Bats Cinema website
is under construction, looks as is, but has a
new face coming up and all new entries of
Poor White Noise have been on hold. I
mention this because I review movies there,
too, but only with a little more rambling,
and personal thoughts. Then I reviewed the
first couple of movie reviews for Mint, and
realized that they were rarely just about the
movies, and never about just one movie, for
better or worse...
This will be read after the holidays, though
it is being written in the eye of the seasonal
hurricane. Yesterday was supposed to be one
of the busiest shopping days of the year, and
I thought about Schwarzenegger in Jingle All
the Way, looking for a superhero toy for his
son. The movie is bullshit. He gets what he
wants for Christmas and is a hero to his
family in the end. Sounds nothing like any
holiday Ive encountered, and as I drove
from a non-gift shopping related errand, I
found I needed some clean underwear. Also,
non-holiday related. I was visiting family
and took no change of clothes. I went into a
shop for some cheap clothes and rediscov-
ered the depths of inconsideration and self-
ishness among men this time of year. Holy
Festivus.
I went home, considered wearing a sari until
my wet clothes were out of the wash, before
borrowing my Fathers finest Arnold Palmer
duds and set out for the cinematic links, as
it were; a retreat from the madness and Elvis
Christmas Carols that always make you
want to cry and be a better person. The
recipe is as follows, and can be subscribed to
just as well, I hope, in the post-holiday
excess Pepto-Bismal corpulance that was 07.
Amen. Here goes:
1. To Have and Have Not. The worst
Hemingway novel, in his own words.
Howard Hawks directs Bogart as a skipper
for hire and Bacall makes her screen debut.
Cigarettes and dialogue between Bogart and
Bacall were likely used as tools to direct
Travolta and Thurman in Pulp Fiction at
Jack Rabbit Slims. Tarantino says, Ok guys,
be half as cool as Bacall and Bogart and itll
be unforgettable. Knockout cool.
2. Ingmar Bergmans Smiles of a Summer
Night. The birth of the romantic comedy?
Its likely Im not that versed to stake that
claim, but the film actually presents itself, in
opening credits that follow the title, as a
romantic comedy. What follows this is a
very funny, turn of the century game of
www.mintrecs.com THAT MAGAZINE FROM MINT RECORDS
726 Richards Street, Vancouver, BC Canada V6B 3A4
Tel: (604) 687-0499 Fax: (604) 687-0488
romance and betrayal. Great cast and direction
and a film that marked international success for
Bergman. The film won best comedy at Cannes
Email: commerce@scratchrecords.com
STORES: Get in touch.
EMAIL ORDER: ordering@scratchrecords.com
in 1956, where Bergman didnt even know it IN VANCOUVER? Drop by our store to sample the good times.
was entered. (Bergman was on the toilet, took a
phone call, and learned the film was screening
at Cannes). He called someone to borrow
money for a flight and went to France. In the
season of reflection, and in a new year of prom-
ises waiting to be broken, watch a good ol film
by a cinematic legend and see where Rom- Mint Records US distribution by
Com came from, not where it went.
3. Michaelangelo Antonioni: Passed away on the
same day as Bergman and similarily left an oeu-
vre of films that collectively and individually
changed cinema forever. To have some through
line in the reviews here, watch LEclisse, or
LAvventura. Both star Monica Vitti, another
screen beauty whose talent wont be marred by
last minute actors doing a scene study, by
watching movies and playing etch a sketchfor
out of work actor/teachers. (Unless they are
studying in Italian, and even then, see Vitti and www.naildistribution.com
discover the incomparable.) Great films, mark- www.myspace.com/cnrs
ing huge moves toward existential, lean cinema.
European art film touchstones.
4. One pick here for the entertaining and dis-
posable drawer, for a few reasons, is The
Kingdom. Directed by Peter Berg, small cameo,
good performances etc... It has the red white
and blue prerequisites to put redneck asses in
the seats and the film actually finishes with a
few statements to cynically drive that nail even
deeper. It touches on cool international espi-
onage, FBI, terrorism, has a great opening
sequence, a rock solid first 40 minutes, slows to
take the expository curve or two, then drifts a
little before a proper ending. The film was a
good example of the global warming vs kick
the sand out of their ass in the desert for
September 11 attitudes, that leave me thinking:
Is there anything else? Is there an in between, a 319 W. Hastings, Vancouver BC vinylrecords.ca
grey? There are rednecks the world over. See
The Kingdom in case you havent seem the
Bourne movies a dozen times each, yet. MATT
DAMON.
All the holidays have come and gone, will again,
and I would like to say to everyone in their own
respective languages, Happy Holidays. But I
ards Street
only have one mother tongue, so International 101-422 Rich
ww Vancouver, BC
Greetings, and as Bob Dylan also said, Its the w.goril
thought that counts. lafood.c
om
With wishes for the same in return,
Juan Farmer
Poor White Noise
happybatscinema.com
 photo by maryanovich.com
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NARDWUAR VS. CYNTHIA PLASTER CASTER
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A CAROLYN MARK TOUR STORY
HOW TO MAKE A BELLA WRISTBAND
IMMACULATE MACHINE COMICS
MINT BANDS GOING TO CMW
NARDWUAR VS. THE PACK A.D.
MINT XMAS PARTY REPORT
A VANCOUGAR PUZZLE
DEAR SHANE
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