Patriarchys Skewed Portrayal of Female Attractiveness and Sexuality Overturned by the Brilliant Lena

Dunham
In the society we live in, patriarchy has unfortunately clearly defined what they consider to be
acceptable beauty standards for women, and therefore has set up boundaries regarding what they deem
to be satisfactory sexual relationships. Patriarchy is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as, The
predominance of men in positions of power and influence in society, with cultural values and norms
being seen as favoring men (Patriarchy def. 3). In our patriarchal society man has had control over
the media for quite sometime. Patriarchy has presented to the public, images of what they believe
women should look like; these images usually consist of models and actresses with very thin waistlines
and faces covered in makeup. This in turn makes viewers believe that these images are what women
should look like, when in fact this representation of women is an artificial disguise. Writer and actress,
Lena Dunham is a marvelous example of a woman standing up to patriarchy, with her innovative
television show GIRLS. However, Dunhams attempt to paint a more realistic example of female beauty
and sexuality unfortunately comes with a price. In her recent episode, One Mans Trash, when
Dunhams leading character, Hannah (played by herself) has a random sexual escapade with a wealthy,
good-looking, older, male doctor, the public went wild with criticism, claiming that Hannah is not an
attractive enough female for this scene to be considered realistic. If it werent for patriarchys definition
of female attractiveness, and therefore their specific layout of whom is attractive enough to have sexual
relationships with whom, disgraceful criticisms like these would cease to exist.
The episode begins when the handsome 42-year old, doctor, Joshua, played by Patrick Wilson
enters the coffee shop that Hannah works at to politely ask the manager of the shop to stop throwing
their garbage in his garbage cans. After a heated discussion with the manager who tells Joshua that no
employee from the shop would ever do such a thing, Joshua leaves and returns to his gorgeous New

York brownstone. Promptly after, Hannah shows up at Joshuas doorstep to clear her guilty conscious,
apparently Hannah was in fact the one utilizing Joshuas garbage cans, in fear that her boss would fire
her for losing her key to the shops garbage. He invites her in to talk about the situation over a glass of
lemonade, and shortly after the two have sex. They continue to be sexually involved with one and other
for the next couple of days; they both take off from work, and are enjoying each others company. Then,
Hannah decides to turn his shower into a steam room and ends up passing out. After Joshua wakes her
up and she becomes level headed again, words are exchanged, and things start to go down hill between
the two of them. They ultimately end up parting ways, each with new growing experiences under their
belts.
There was relatively nothing wrong with the episode One Mans Trash, Hannah and Joshua
came together for a short period of time, but in the end, they realized they were not compatible with one
and other, not based off of their looks, but most likely due to the fact that they had two different maturity
levels. However, a writer from Esquire Magazine had different thoughts on the episode, claiming that
Lena Dunhams relatively realistic episode was nothing more than, [a] fantastical, implausible story
[Hannah] found herself in (Martin). For Martin, the whole episode was so improbable strictly based off
of Hannahs appearance. He did not make this statement on the fact that Hannah and Joshua had only
known each other for an extremely short period of time before they had sex, had he based his statement
on that note, than his words would be far less damaging, demeaning, and it might have been easier to see
where Martin was coming from. Had the scene involved, according to patriarchys standards, one of the
more good-looking characters on the show, there would be no negative censure surrounding this
episode whatsoever.
In reality, people do not strictly seek sexual partners who have equal physical features on the scale
from terribly unattractive to breathtakingly beautiful, because beauty does not work that way. Everyone
obtains his or her own opinions on what they think is physically desirable; however, the media only

displays one manifestation of beauty which is usually not the best depiction of the average person. It is
quite impractical to think that each time people engage in sex with someone, they are choosing their
partners extremely critically out of fear that they might end up with an unsightly child. In actuality,
people choose sexual partners based off of boundless desire and passion, and that is permissible as long
as its consensual, and both partys enjoy it.
With the medias far from factual portrayal of womens physical features comes a skewed
portrayal of sex in popular television and film. There are typically two types of sex scenes that are
displayed; one type would feature two very attractive people as a couple, and the other type would
feature an overly attractive female with an ill-suited male partner. Because the media has engrained in
society that these two depictions are basically the only acceptable social norms for sex, society has
mentally adapted itself to be unsatisfied and even disgusted by anything that objects to this false
representation. Now, the male partner that is usually pictured with the knockout female can be deemed
inappropriate for her for a variety of reasons, either he is far older than she is, or he is just not on the
same level of attractiveness as the women he is with. Furthermore, it should be noted that, there is
nothing wrong with this representation; people should be permitted to have sexual relations with
whomever they choose. However, when someone such as Lena Dunham decides to change the norms for
beauty and sexuality, and brings to the viewers attention a depiction of a sexual relationship consisting
of what society would consider a female who does not live up to the socially constructed beauty ideals
with a male who is deemed overly attractive for her, numerous people find this to be too fantastical to be
considered plausible, and that is not okay. There should not be a double standard regarding sexual
relationships and attraction, beauty is defined differently for everyone, and what people do in their
personal sex lives should be limitless to them, and should not be judged based off of numerous things,
but especially based off of patriarchys ridiculously incorrect ideals on what physical beauty is.

A marvelous example of how the medias lack of representation of various types of sex partners
has effected societys psyche is in Daniel Engbergs review of Dunhams episode claiming that the
reason the episode is so unbelievable is because, [He] think[s] its because Hannah is especially and
assertively ugly in this episode (Engberg). This statement is so incredibly shocking but also so
telling in how impressed societal beauty ideals are on humans very malleable brains. Blatantly
regarding someone as too ugly to be worthy to have sex with whomever they choose is
despicable. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and realistically sex is not something that is
constrained to be between only specific people but it is something that humans choose to do based
on free will not based on social repercussions. Therefore, there should not be a set standard for
what sex between two people should look like.
If women had more control over the media, there would be a far more realistic portrayal of
human sexuality and physicality. Distorted beliefs on what are favorable female superficial attributes
and socially acceptable sexual relationships come from the fact that patriarchy has asserted its control
over the media, specifically in the areas of film, television, and advertising. They have then decided that
the way that they think women should look and behave should be the norm for society. This has in turn
for lack of a better term brainwashed society, males and females alike, into thinking that opposing and
ultimately more realistic portrayals of females are false and unfathomable. Patriarchy has made it rather
difficult for women to break into professions that have influence over what the media displays and it is
slightly inaccessible for women to become leaders in those positions of utmost power. Lena Dunham
fortunately did somehow manage to become a successful and prominent writer in the television industry,
and with that fact comes many advantages that enable society to gain equality amongst the sexes.
Women like her, in positions of power, can then start to change the current system in place by displaying
more realistic models of sexual relationships and female beauty.
The criticisms on the episode One Mans Trash are absolutely appalling, and they really hint at a
major glitch in the way that the media has been portraying sex and female physical characteristics in

television and film. Patriarchys hold on the media is so strong that women of all shapes and sizes are
not regularly shown in the media, and if they are, they are deemed to be unattractive. This tells both
women and men that it is unacceptable for women who do not fit into the cookie cutter idea of beauty to
partake in relationships with people who are outside of their level of attractiveness. Lena Dunham
stood up to this false idea. She displayed an everyday looking woman engaged in a sexual relationship
with an attractive man, because it does happen, actually more often than not, but it is rarely shown in
television in film. Hopefully, by Dunham taking the first step and showing a more realistic portrayal of
sex, other people will be inspired to do the same and more factual demonstrations of relationships will
be shown to the public. Writers like Dunham should be applauded not crucified for their works because
more truthful depictions of sexual relationships and physical features place society in an advanced
position to gain equality amongst the two sexes.

Works Cited
Dunham, Lena. "One Man's Trash." GIRLS. Home Box Office Inc. New York City, New York, 10 Feb.
2013. Television.

Haglund, David, and Daniel Engber. "Was That the Worst Episode of GIRLS Ever?"Slate.com. N.p.,
10 Feb. 2013. Web. 05 Mar. 2013.
Martin, Peter. "The GIRLS Recap for Men: Self-indulgent Dreaming." Esquire.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 05
Mar. 2013. <http://www.esquire.com/blogs/culture/girls-season-2-episode-5-recap>.